Emotionally Repressed ENGLAND? It's Complicated - We Need Help!

[@secretsofenglish]

Are people emotionally repressed in your country? Tell us more in the comments!

[@Xy33zr]

I worked as a doctor in England for 12 years. I remember when I am on call at 2 am when work becomes slack I and the nurses decide to have a gossip session for half an hour. We really become very nasty 😅😅

[@watermelon7998]

@@Xy33zr Haha, it's interesting! I was v ill once (in England) , in a semi-intensive ward, and every night between 2-3 am, the nurses were screaming with laughter, running around... nobody in that small semi-intensive ward could sleep, we all just smiled at each other in the morning, saying "they kept you up, as well?..." I doubt anybody ever complained, in the emotonally repressed way. But sometimes I wonder whether the nurses should know... that we can hear and understand every word... as some of it WAS nasty...

[@lylez00]

No one is allowed to admit that we need love.

[@ab4690]

@@secretsofenglish In Japanese culture also open expression of feeling are frowned upon therefore resulting in passive aggressiveness in most people, specially when living in other environments or when marrying different cultures.

[@noligray5828]

Polish nor Spanish (my people) are certainly not emotionally repressed in general. That's why I find living in the UK like living in another planet. Quite recenly I (sadly) had to attend the funeral of a person, who was very loved by the grup of people I belong to. I was shocked that there was no single tear. I had to escape as soon as the official part finnished, as I couldn't hold my tears any longer, and I saw people leaving the hall, and just chatting about the weather... (The book Watching the English was the eye oppener for me. But still, after so many years of living here, I fall in the same traps of my natural expectations of human behaviour...)

[@minniemoe4797]

The funeral ceremony you described reminds me of the case from the Wikipedia article on the Anti-Irish sentiment. In the mid 19th century there was an emergency on the mine in the US. Most miners of that particular region were the Irish who escaped famine. Irish men got stuck inside the mine while the falling soil was covering them more and more and everybody understood there'd no chance for them to survive. Wives and daughters of the miners who were standing a bit further and knew everything started to weep, cry and yell loudly in despair, they also embraced each other firmly. (absolutely normal reaction in my opinion). But the first-nation Americans (descendants of the English) seriously disapproved of the Irish women crying loudly and said that such an emotional response is "unworthy behaviour of an Anglo-Saxon person, which proves that the Irish are the inferior race". Also, you could watch the interviews of the Titanic survivors, that's a different level of being "unemotional".

[@LindaengelustrupBlogspot]

Its usually the same here in Norway. Not allways, but usually. However, I am Norwegian and cry like crazy in funerals. I can't help my self. Maybe it is because of ADHD, I'm not sure. But I think its a good sign in a way, because it shows that we care. But I think the idea why many people doesn't cry, is because they try to not burden people with their own heavy, difficult emotions. But I think it helps to share, in order for others to feel that they are not alone. We can have a hug when we are that sad. I think the rude thing to do, would be to make fun of a dead person in a mean way in front of everyone else.

[@margaretcampbell2681]

I’m Australian but we have some of that repression sometimes, but usually not that often. I am very direct and open. I’m appreciated for it.

[@margaretcampbell2681]

Being so repressive is not healthy

[@watermelon7998]

I'm Hungarian and I always cry at English funerals, if I knew the person well. I can't help sobbing, and I'm not even trying to stop now. I think I would faint if I tried not to cry. I used to think people can think what they want - but they are normally very nice, they don't look at me nasty, or give me ugly looks.

[@diana-wilde]

You are very reflective and brave. Elegant and kind too.

[@scentsoftravelmeditation]

She is brave. A person could be targeted for decades for being honest like her in England

[@stevenhoskins7850]

@@scentsoftravelmeditation Why? What's wrong with honesty? I have British family, and when they are pissed off, everyone knows it.

[@LeeLee-ct2vv]

I grew up in totally different society, lived in London for 7 years. That was the most difficult to detect, let alone to get used to it. I think that's why you find so many stickers in corporate bathrooms for some kind of help lines. And that's why they drink. (Imo)😂

[@redwarrior2424]

About the stickers and the drinking, I think you're right.

[@JohnBurman-l2l]

It's a middle and upper class thing. I like the working class communication which is to tell you straight to your face what they think of you. I'm a very open...too open perhaps and struggle with most English people (from UK) who seem to need to suppress me.

[@Beng12952]

It’s ironic that we enjoy the liberties of democracy and freedom of speech in this country, yet some of us choose to suppress each other. Almost like it’s all wasted on them!

[@minniemoe4797]

​@@Beng12952with all those "hate speech" laws that can be twisted in any possible way, I'm not too sure there's freedom of speech in the society. Criticising politicians is only available to journalists, because ordinary folks don't discuss politics not to cause any obvious disagreement.

[@popcornfilms1]

Means you have no filter. Not something to be proud of, it’s a deficit.

[@BreatheThrivewithDevi]

Insightful analysis. Thanks for this clear message English people need to learn behavioural codes for clear communications with multicultural workforce rather victimising other cultures and sterotypes "blaming" vulnerable ethnic groups at work.

[@paulw1113]

Your videos are helpful to me as an English person who is a highly functional autistic person! I have difficulty understanding the nuances of what is meant and tend to take everything literally!! So many thanks for your excellent work.

[@mictache]

Just a suggestion for potentially expanding on the content you're already doing. I think it would be fascinating to have a roundtable of people from different countries and have the same situation presented, then everyone explaining how that would be dealt with and what the psychology and meaning behind the different behaviours means for each different culture. As I've already commented on a different video, your content is like finally someone giving me a map to navigate this society. Pure gold!

[@shadowgui9535]

Love your content! You definitely hit some niche areas of culture and language, which is very useful for advanced learners.

[@noligray5828]

You mentioned being singeled out. And being seen as weak when showing the emotion. I experience both things all the time in the UK. Countless times my feelings were hurt, and countless times I regreted opening up to people, taking politenes for friendliness. So my here is my question again: how to make friends with British people, and how do I know that we are already friends? Yes, I do have (I hope) a few friends that are British. But this are not typical British people - they ussually travell a lot, want to learn another language (I am a language teacher, like you :) ) or/and have a partner who is a foreigner.

[@minniemoe4797]

At least, you've learnt a valuable lesson that politeness doesn't equal kindness. It's a useful thing to understand no matter what foreign culture you deal with.

[@anta3612]

@@minniemoe4797 They said nothing about kindness. They mentioned friendliness which isn't the same thing as kindness either. Also, while politeness does not equal kindness, politeness can be interpreted differently in other countries. For example in some countries, where politeness is not a requirement for every human interaction, when someone is polite they are generally being genuine. However, in England the opposite is true. In fact the more polite a person is the colder and unkind they tend to be. Politeness in England is often used as a mask to hide hostility that's brimming below the surface. That's the difference and which can catch people from other countries off guard.

[@ValentinZagura]

"Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way"

[@noligray5828]

So sad...

[@robert-wr6md]

I thought you had something more to say?

[@andychips]

A classic line!

[@stevenhoskins7850]

I am the egg man. They are the egg men. I am the walrus. Goo Goo ga joo!

[@kathleenphillips6445]

I’m new to your channel but you have tapped into a fascinating subject. As an American, we have a mix of heritages but I’d say the predominant culture of the upper/power classes is English, repressed emotionally, and yes we do have a class system here though not so ironclad as in England. The things you’ve talked about as a help for foreign business people are rarely acknowledged openly. It’s a subconscious awareness we just accept and I’m so glad you’re bringing it up to the surface.

[@noligray5828]

Oh, and the class system. I thought it is something from the past, at least in the, so called, developed countries. Untill I came to the UK and I saw it is not. I was surprised, how many people think that everybody should know their place (and I get it from the representatives of all the classes - they all display the sense of pride of the class they belong to).

[@PerryVillanueva]

@@noligray5828 The USA has an economic/educational class system.

[@claireconolly8355]

Ah we finally got there with this video 😅😂 I've been watching your videos and I've been saying for ages "England has a problem 😂

[@Kitty-zm6ft]

Thank you Hannah. Very interesting and useful. Would you please tell us more about banter at work and how to react to it. A lot of complains about it in our organisation. Some people get offended by the cruel jokes from their colleagues. I live in Manchester.

[@noligray5828]

I also have a work related question: Is it normal, that if one collegue has any issues (even the most trivial one) with another, he/she will not go to the person directly, to solve it, but will go straight to the boss instead? I see it a lot in my workplace, and I am sooo surprised. Why bother boss with the issues like that? Aren't we all adults? Sometimes the person is totally unaware, that something bothers the other one, and this something could be so easily changed, with just a few, friendly words...

[@veronicadominguez-bailey8198]

Passive aggression

[@stevenhoskins7850]

If you have sopmething specific, I can probably help you out. If someone offends you at work, simply tell them they are being offensive. If that doesn't work, speak to your manager.

[@uglyducklingako4989]

I'm surprised you have no website or links for any English course! You should create one and do online courses. Your pronunciation is much clearer than other English teachers online with millions subscribers.

[@gracewise5428]

That’s a brave video Hannah! And this is what I like of English people. They don’t shy away from their responsibilities/truths. Just at time I find it difficult to adapt when I an out with my English friends.. I had a long term relationship with a British and that was very easy but with friends for me is a bit tiring to translate English to English meaning. Almost takes away the fun of being out with them sometimes as after one point I overthink the way I speak just to don’t look inconsiderate. I really appreciate the loyalty that English people can give that is no as deep as from friend in my extroverted country of origin.

[@peterbengtson7406]

Thank you for your extremely informative videos - I happen to be interested in sociolinguistics, especially given the various forms of RP and its modern counterpart SSB. To hear the English temperament and the strategies it promotes explained so systematically and clearly of course makes one think of how the social structures of colonial and post-colonial England (as distinct from the UK) have shaped and are shaping social interaction to this day. It made me think of Japan and the concept of 'honne' vs 'tatemae' - what someone really thinks and what they say in public. Many have commented on the frustration they feel living as foreigners in Japan because of the indirectness of Japanese culture. It suddenly struck me that what you're describing in these videos are strategies and practices deriving from the same kind of expected indirect approach. There's a commonality here in that the purpose of the indirect approach is similar in England and Japan. Both can be said to be hierarchical countries. But on the other hand, much of what you explain as being "traditionally English" has to do with simple courtesy and respect, particularly where hierarchy and deference is built into the system for historical reasons. Again, thank you.

[@secretsofenglish]

Yes, there are some similarities in indirectness and hierarchy, you are right. I think Japan are further up the scale though. For example, it's really common that members of the board or C-level are actually 'elderly', not just mature and I would add some of them can't even use the technology that their companies create. This is according to my Japanese informants.

[@mikelear3858]

Really shouldn't bottle up emotions within reason. Recently, the UK performed relatively poorly on a mental wellbeing index, ranking 20th of 27 EU countries.

[@gofiodetrigo8756]

and that's pretty good actually

[@J_SavedbyGrace_Eph28]

you have seen england right? as well as english people? lol i stopped caring about all these stupid rules. i feel alien, but i'm not a repressed spud, just a weird "arsehole" to the maladjusted.

[@sararichardson737]

I can believe it. The class system creates self loathing de haut en bas. Really makes for resentment and all that goes alongside it.

[@Paislynely]

If you suppress negative emotions, you simultaneously put a lid on positive and loving ones.

[@minniemoe4797]

The good thing about the UK is there's no stigma connected to mental health issues anymore. Imagine the situation in East Asia: one's not allowed to express oneself frankly, not allowed to be "emotional" and mental health issues are heavily judged like a mortal sin. No wonder suicide rate is high over there.

[@geoffclarke3796]

I agree with the points made in the video. I've spent my whole life in South East England and would place myself very much in the repressed category where emotions are kept in check. I think much of this goes back to my schooling in the 1980's where the 'stiff upper lip' was encouraged and displays of emotion were frowned upon. I think this approach has its benefits in certain situations but at times can take a toll on your mental health. As you say, people in the north of England and young people in general are generally not so repressed.

[@PerryVillanueva]

I agree with you.

[@veronicadominguez-bailey8198]

Repressed until 5pm. Then a couple of drinks or something and... all the opposite.

[@minniemoe4797]

If you noticed, most of emotions that are expressed after drinks are angry and spiteful, not passionate.

[@veronicadominguez-bailey8198]

@@minniemoe4797 Yes mostly but in private some gets tearful and romantic. All emotional repression released with alcohol. How sad! People should be able to talk about them.

[@anta3612]

In vino veritas.

[@anta3612]

@@minniemoe4797 In vino veritas.

[@ConstructiveMinds100]

Comment section worth reading.

[@federica_la_ferrera]

As a Southern Italian in UK for 7 years, even though I don't hang with many Italians here Im quite the opposite: I'm very expressive! Therefore there have been people who thing I am absolutely crazy and I'm ok with it. I'm also very direct and don't speak behind people's back, so these are the cultural and personality clashes I have experienced

[@LindaengelustrupBlogspot]

I recon its better to tell people in a gentle and polite way (so to not hurt their feelings) then to speak behind their back any day (as long as it doesn't happen in front of others ofcourse. )

[@PerryVillanueva]

Good for you and keep on being direct.

[@TomSUGNET]

Freud and his daughter moved to England because they found English people psychoanalysis-worthy material

[@minniemoe4797]

Also, I imagine that the process of psychoanalysis (speaking frankly about one's own experiences and concerns) was attractive to some British people at the time.

[@lilyghassemzadeh]

😂

[@malcwhittaker26]

There's always been too much of a class system in this country. It causes too much division and animosity and is damaging for human existence. And this can cause emotional repression. Our time on this Earth is short. I just wish we could learn to love and accept each other more for who we are and not what class we're in 😔

[@vikmnatsakanyan]

Really helpful. More concrere examples would be really helpful.

[@elainesgarden]

Thank you for mentioning more examples of English phrases to complement the various discussions of behavior. I find knowing the actual phrases used by the British to be particularly useful and interesting. Hannah, I really appreciate your channel. It’s been so helpful for me. 😊

[@lauram6215]

I am from southern Europe and dated a while back an English for a while. It is difficult to maintain a long term relationship as they do not speak about their feelings which clashes a lot with our style of approaching things.

[@BlissLovePeace]

Very interesting ... thanks for sharing your insights!

[@Наталка-в4г]

I'd say people will be talking behind your back no matter what you do

[@PerryVillanueva]

So true but they will never know what is really inside of you.

[@adastra3591]

Lived in Australia for 11 years. At the end I couldnt stand emotinal coldness od anglo society, moved to Asia then back to Balkans. Might visit any anglo country but decided never to live amongst them. All you state is true. Very interesting channel..

[@Leb0wski72]

God bless Yorkshire, the God's own country for Yorkshire folk who are so much more approachable for foreigners by just being so much more genuine then southerners generally speaking.

[@TCTGFAM]

My personal experience as a foreigner, is that in English society manners and politeness are very important. This is perhaps 'enforced' in society(especially schools). Politeness is a good thing of course but when no alternative is given, people will find a different avenue to express themselves. I believe that's where alcohol comes to place, because it is considered socially acceptable for people to misbehave when drunk, they will not be judged for expressing their suppressed emotions(because that is what alcohol does, it removes resistance so everything that is already inside comes out). Perhaps that could explain why in this society people behave a bit like having split personalities? Different at work and different when having fun?

[@anta3612]

It's a very unhealthy and dysfunctional way to live.

[@AlejandroQuintana-s3p]

What should an englisman do if he wants to show up his feelings to people around him? Emigrate! Otherwise he'd be taken like a mentally ill person.😂 Frankly it's quite difficult to understand. Same with compliments. Why could anyone take offence if anyone else give him/her a nice compliment? Priceless video! Thanks so much!❤

[@allanhmelnitski978]

Every Englishman I have known has been like a brother, best people, and best to communicate. And older English comedies like Little Britain, The League of Gentlemen, The Fast Show, Harry and Paul, Monty Python and so on..., and English writers like Pratchett, Gaiman, Adams, Orwell, Dahl, Rowling etc. - they take together the essence and meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in the most coherent, funny and real way there is possible. Smartest people on Earth.

[@allanhmelnitski978]

... and even every slight communication with any english person has been wonderful. Can You imagine, even customs officer at the border behaved like an old friend, we exchanged jokes and laughed. I can not imagine this nowhere else! And asking directions from a rough slightly skinhead-looking man who turned out to be passionately helpful warm guy... And having a chat with a homeless londoner whose tales were like a classic literature... And some old gentleman who just like that greeted us, passing strangers, on the street "good morning lads", just like that. And so on. Only very positive moments, that left behind some slightly mystical aftertaste.

[@majidatighi6923]

Subtle and to the point ❤

[@wobaguk]

The term stoic gets thrown about a lot, often meaning 'bottles emotion up' rather than showing it, but its true meaning is an outlook about not worrying about things you cant control, so things dont wind you up.

[@SusanSteers-m2l]

I agree with the situations expressed here. It would be useful if specific examples could be given otherwise it remains a bit vague.

[@margaretcampbell2681]

Thank you for this video it is very helpful

[@klausbrazil]

Very interesting post. I would like to recommend a post about English swear words and when to use them. That is for the following reasons: On the one side, even having a good command of the host country’s language, as a foreigner you use words too strong for a given situation quiet frequently, at least in the beginning. On the other side, a foreigner new to the country may be shocked. In England the word “cock” enjoys frequent use in swear words, for example, which is completely unusual in Germany. There, the use of some derivative for excrements (shit, e.g.) makes part of daily routines, as well as the honorable mentioning of certain animals (“donkey” or “camel” for someone stupid or “pig” for someone dirty or morally low). It would be nice to learn how to insult English people appropriately and in accordance with local customs.

[@tpop3723]

Let’s hope that this will soon become a thing of the past as more learn without fear healthier ways to express themselves.

[@thinker9115]

Curious native here (a very curious one :-) Bravo! I like your analysis. As I think you may have mentioned the information may well be useful for those on the autistic spectrum who have difficulty 'reading' people. By the way (being direct here) - are you looking straight at the camera? Sometimes it feels like you are looking not quite directly at the viewer. Hope you don't mind the mention, it doesn't matter really but perhaps you might appreciate this feedback. Keep up the good work and thanks for these perceptive videos.

[@j-ch8787]

As soon as I am bathing in a British environment I know I do need to adapt my way of expressing. For me it's a foggy world. I had lot of professional situations during which in a mixt environment (French Irish Scots and brits) I litterarly shocked my boss. But basically, my native cultures are germanic one and American on other side. And it's difficult for me cose I almost forgot those basis except emotional expressions cose I bathed early in Latin cultures of France and south Europe... And Arabic or balkanic cultures. To-day I am trying to manage it as I can... But communication is a behavior between.. 2 (!) persons. And none of cultural environment or habits is better than another. We need on both parts to adapt to each other. When there's a clash... Well, better remain cool and explain. Same pb when I am talking to a "classy parisian guy or lady"...I adapt my behaviors... And Then if I need to talk to a "rural Normand farmer" as my neighbor.. I gonna adapt my way of acting. But both of them have to do the same path in my direction. Difficult question indeed. Especially when yu are often moving yur environment. Or yu have several types of culture in the same room.

[@PerryVillanueva]

I am well aware of the British stiff upper lip among British men. The American version would be what I call the cold and stoic way. American men in corporate American, US military, and high government positions live this way. They do not show their weakness and repress them a lot. These American men are so good at it that they make the British stiff upper lip a pleasurable experience; the same men are ultra quiet, ultra boring, and very invisible. You would never know they are in a ‘world of hurt’. With the rare exception of being direct when it is necessary, showing anger, and crying at a funeral, you would never know these men are this way. These American men are socially and emotionally taught this way since childhood.

[@JACKDISBACK]

I genuinely think this is all scarring from WWII. Fascinating conversation. We need to heal this national wound.

[@noligray5828]

Do you think the British were not repressed before the WWII? I read the book, written by the Polish engeneer, who was sent to UK for work purposes and got stuck because of the war. (The book is called: Z Anglikami na codzien - which means: Every day life with the Enlglish). Judging, based on his account, the British were as repressed before the war as they are now (if not more). Many nations experienced the horrors of WWII - my own included. And it is not like they all are repressed. I've heard the theory, that Queen Victoria had a big influence on making the Brits repressed. And it may make sense, as when I read Sheakespeare, I can't belieive that his work was written by the British person. There are SO many emotions there...

[@alicequayle4625]

I think it's from having an Empire, and the public school system. Victorian values.

[@minniemoe4797]

​@@noligray5828But Shakespeare's most iconic works are mostly about foreigners, maybe he wanted to show to Englishmen different ways of communication in foreign cultures?

[@RubeeKikuyu]

9:42 😪 sad reptiles

[@megapangolin1093]

Very interesting examination of the English phenomenon, which is probably somewhat similar to the Japanese approach, perhaps tightly packed, martial, island countries are more likely to do this to avoid conflict. BTW, your presentational style is excellent, but I find it slightly unnerving that you are not looking forwards, you appear to addressing a camera displaced to the side. I enjoy eye to eye contact like many. It may be deliberate, but just in case, I thought I would say something. One tiny point, your blusher is quite prevalent. Hope you don't mind me saying.

[@benoitraulin1264]

High level but taught with ease.

[@joybring3r]

I laugh loudly and openly when speaking with English people at work, when something funny is said or happens. I am now beginning to suspect that people may not appreciate this. Thoughts?

[@redwarrior2424]

How do English act toward each other within the family? Does region make a big difference? I'm watching "Northern Lights" (set in the North) and the families are very affectionate and say "I love you" a lot. I was given to understand English families are not that way but that was years ago. Have things changed? I'm from the US and my family was not demonstrative in any way.

[@Paislynely]

I'm not sure about the upper or middle class, but all I seem to notice are highly functional autistic people everywhere. When I was studying the autism spectrum, it seemed to describe English society almost perfectly. Basically, the whole British culture seems built for autistic people: distance (no touching), no loud noises, sarcasm and an amazing sense of humor, strict rule-following, and a lack of visible emotions. There's also difficulty in communication (people can hardly communicate without alcoholic drinks)."

[@rtraveller6705]

Wow you’re so right!

[@creolelady182]

I must admit The way that Meghan Markle handled the RF with her quiet aggressiveness is something they could understand

[@marajska]

I don't know what to think. Few years ago when I had lived in London I thought that English people were just double faces and I didn't understand that. Now when I live in North UK and I work as support worker with people with mental health conditions I see how that English culture made big damage to their mental health. At work with schizophrenic people one of tools is distraction technique which in my opinion isn't good tool. Can you image in how you would feel if you be traumatized but you can't talk about that. Everyone who you speak with just trying use distraction so you would never be heard. Speaking out is the most important key with dealing with trauma. At work with vulnerable people is expected form people (English ) to be emphatic and understanding but how they can do it if in the culture is described as a weakness. From another side people who want to participate in therapy from NHS have to wait even 5 years for a therapy. In my opinion that's why this country needs people from different cultures to learn from them how to release stress and how to deal with emotional difficulties. I found that the most popular stress strategy apart form what you had already posted is ignorance and avoiding confrontation which for people from different - more direct cultures is very frustrating- we are more eager to just solve the problem and learn on it and move on. Sweeping under carpet isn't solution but you can see many examples of doing. People here they don't have self-reflection maybe because of education. I hope I didn't offended any one native here. It was't my intention. Warmest

[@Gutifleker]

Good video

[@48706099]

I am Italian, we are on the opposite side of the equation: too much emotional! Therefore let me know how if I can give you guys an hand on your issue:-) I can teach you how to shout and get all over the place😂

[@noligray5828]

I saw Italians in the UK, wearing the T-shirts with the logo: I can't keep calm and carry on. I am Italian. I LOVE it. I want one, even if I am not Italin. But I am European, and I think it is true for most Europeans. (I give it to Italians, that they are the best at it).

[@minniemoe4797]

​@@noligray5828Germans and North Europeans also value keeping emotions under control, but at least they are allowed to express their opinions literally, without using any contexts or sophisticated words.

[@kc17131]

Cultures who keep they emotions to hidden can be hard to trust and can make you feel uncomfortable cultures who show their emotions

[@anta3612]

Actually, being afraid to show emotion and vulnerability is a sign of weakness.

[@pinktan100]

Can u pls say something about why English people don’t mingle with other ethnic ppl or foreigners? It’s very ironical that British workplaces are diverse but you won’t find them hanging out with foreigners or ethnic minority. Thanks for sharing cultural viewpoints.

[@irishboer7124]

The English don't "hang out"- they join clubs to do things with like minded people.

[@margaretcampbell2681]

I do like the ones who come to Australia as they seem a bit more outgoing

[@AhmedAlhasaniAlmozani]

You belong to two different sub -British cultures, and I think this fact gives you some advantages, e.g. the ability to observe, and study well the social cultural differences, and to easily accept the cultural differences too. Best wishes.

[@ab4690]

The" stiff upper lip " concept is always leading to passive aggressiveness. Human psychology doesn't accommodate bottling up! So it has to come out in other ways...

[@sararichardson737]

That’s why drinking is the cornerstone of British society: they don’t loosen up without a drink or 2 You’ll also notice that the English are far more relaxed, indeed far more animated, when saying goodbye ,rather than when being introduced. I’m English (living abroad 15 yrs) and find the place and the people soulless somewhat dreary and extremely.y passive aggressive.

[@AndrzejLondyn]

Once Jamaica origin young Englishman run into me on his rollerblades in the Olympic Park in London, instead of saying: "I'm sorry", he said: "f... you"...

[@andybliss5965]

Interesting though how could you tell from that small encounter he was West Indian descent and not African?

[@lylez00]

Life is too short to be emotionally repressed. We're all desperate to love and be loved. How do I know? Because everyone denies it! When is the last time you heard someone bragging about being able to go for an entire week without drinking sea water? Never! Because we can all go without drinking sea water. People only routinely deny the truth. They only occasionally deny the lies.

[@nina.tarot.23]

It sounds like bullying

[@ConstructiveMinds100]

Or rules that were created by psychopaths. We all have emotions that need to be expressed. Also when bad behaviour is met with bottled up emotions this create more pathology. More bad behaviour, bullies and more snow flakes. Looks like a great plan to destroy own country.

[@wiktoriaslominska8078]

Who isn't emotionally repressed nowadays? - Ahrimanic forces are strong!

[@lilitahirnyak2770]

If the english are so closed, how they still get their partners and create families. It is important to me, could you talk about if i like someone, how to let them know, you like him/her?

[@LeeLee-ct2vv]

Lack of emotional intelligence/ lack of confidence, we'll say from where I'm from

[@tinas.8959]

I am german and I can say many germans act in the same way as typical english people.

[@sartemisa1]

I watched some of your videos... I'm still a fan. Are these general ideas? Middle class? Working class / lower one? Your age averages / what things were when you grew up... because, as foreigners, lots of us deal with the ugly real reality. I was lucky to be in a civil servants environment for 4 years, now with NHS... but even when in a local college... the time with the teacher in class is one thing, after that, different culture / country ~ people. That's why the question... what do you refer to? Who? When? Which England / Britain?

[@elenalee7966]

Thank you for the video and information which is very interesting and useful! I've been studying English language, history and culture , to my mind it's different from any of European ,very unique . To communicate with native and local people in england its worth knowing such particular details . Thank you !

[@tibby5414]

In a familiar setting, open and free expression of emotions actually can lead to improved relations with others.. And in any case, there is no point in repressing emotions too much... Sooner or later they get their way out, though in a worse manner, if repressed earlier.... say through some bitter sarcasm, cynicism or some over the top, weird kinda behavior.

[@saadilamari4580]

Is this also true with the Irish and Scotts? Or are you talking only about englishmen and women ?

[@secretsofenglish]

I'm only talking about England in this video :)

[@danielreiss-cy4zr]

Stoic-on-Trent.

[@h-k7804]

Walk outside on a Saturday night and you won't see any emotionally repressed folks

[@anta3612]

In vino veritas.

[@benjamindejonge3624]

Really tacky isn’t old bean

[@heatherd5609]

Hi very interesting. I'm an English born New Zealand er. I found English people from England in certain part s quite rude proberly from London and very different is other parts more friendly I get it of course but can imagine how other cultures don't. I'm wondering how foreigners view us down under and our humour as some don't seem to get it at all. They 😮 have that look of confusion and surprise.😅. Thanks for your videos super informative

[@noligray5828]

I am a Polish/Spanish married to a New Zealander, living in the UK. I went to New Zealand with my husband. All of his friends asked me the same questions all the time. When I heard: how do you like New Zealand for the millionth time, I answered (in a playfull way, that works in Poland and in Spain) that I do not like it at all, it is a horrible and ugly place. I exagerrated so much, and I said it all with a big smile, as to make sure it is obvious, that the opposite is true. (If someone would say it about my countries, I would get the joke stright away - in fact I was in such situations). The person that I was talking to, didn't get the joke at all. What is more - she went to my future (then) mother in law (who made a big effort to make me feel welcomed and comfortable) to complain. It was a cultural shock number one.

[@noligray5828]

I have to add: in my cultures, predictable conversations are seen as boring, and the people who engage in them are seen as not very intelligent, to say it midely. So I was trying to cover up for the predictable conversation starter and take the conversation to a diferent level - make it playfull.

[@noligray5828]

Cultural shock number two. London. A grup of New Zealanders living therere are meeting my husband and me in the city centre. Nobody seem to have a plan what to do and where to go. They just stand there and talk for a long time: where do we go? I don't know. What could we do? We don't know. So finally I step in and propose British Museum. They all seem to agree. So we jump in the train and go there. Than we split for some reason, and everybody is visiting their part in a smaller group. Or at least that's what I thought. But then I realized, that it's only me and my husband that are actually visiting. I looked down from the staris at some point, and saw them all sitting on the benches at the entrance, waiting for us. Apparently none of them was interested in British Museum (they are all more interested in engineering and technology - I found that out much later). And NONE of them said so. Why did they all agree with me to go? I didn't insist. It was just an idea, as they didn't seem to have one.

[@noligray5828]

Culture shock number three. I am travelling on the tube with two girls from New Zealand. Ackward silence, so I start the converstaion about the movies. It was a long time ago, when Brokeback Mountain was new in. I loved the movie, and I told them so. They readily agreed with me. What I found out later? That they are both quite homofobic and that movie made them uncomfortable. Why they didn't tell me their honest opinion?

[@noligray5828]

The humour, the sarcasm - I love it. My husband is a master. I do not get much compliments directly. They are always concealed in a very funny (almost ofensive) way.

[@TheBOFAcookie]

why is England scared to be an independent country

[@TheSonsofFalstaff]

For 'repressing' emotions read CONTROLLING emotions. Jumping up and down, crying and waving one's arms about did not build the largest empire the world has ever known. Being able to control one's self is a virtue. Not a failing.

[@noligray5828]

And what exactly build this empire? What happened to the nations that were "incorporated"? :)

[@watermelon7998]

what empire are you talking about, in 2024? that you need this virtue to build?

[@minniemoe4797]

​@@noligray5828someone's got an Empire hangover. The same bunch of people complain about migration from the Commonwealth (former colonies)

[@anta3612]

The British Empire may have been the largest empire but not the longest-lived ... Italians are well known for being very expressive emotionally.

[@spankhouz6466]

All you lot can do is moan and talk behind people's back unfortunately.

[@pedrogarciasantisteban7808]

Oh well, enjoy the "english" bs !

[@ms-ex8em]

ur a rabbit bless u

[@przemekx4182]

the most beautiful woman in English teaching industry on KZbin ...

[@minniemoe4797]

Easy tiger! If you watched previous videos, you know English people feel uncomfortable with compliments😂

[@Julie-hf4ch]

HI. Can you please post you work email address for teaching enquiries? thanks.