How to spot an abuser before they abuse you - by Dr. Georgiana

[@Shevan08]

"Resist being swayed by feelings and attraction until you are certain that you can be safe with them" ❤️

[@11burnout]

Good advice, difficult to follow

[@suprgx472]

When they hover a lot, always want to be with you. Calling all the time, trying to keep you on the phone with nothing to talk about.

[@willowclay3137]

The sad thing is that a lot of people believe him because he's such a great actor in public. Behind closed doors, it's sleeping with the enemy.

[@suprgx472]

Asking them about past relationships are good but you won't get the truth about anything. It's always the other person's fault. RUN!

[@tjaspire]

When a guy I was talking to referred to himself as "trash" I got the he** out of there! He said that he "came from trash and will always be trash." It is impossible for a guy who sees himself this way to treat you any better. So yeah, I ran. 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

[@frangipang1955]

He never verbally abused me, or physically, but emotionally. No validation, no praises, no support. Took, but rarely gave. Selfish to the core. No accountability. Rarely sorry. Accusing. Wore me down. Over-reacted. Secretive. Said he walked on egg shells around me! Just because I challenged him. All too much for me. I'm done.

[@yoya4766]

I think that is abuse. I've experienced it and it is draining. It's like passive aggression, goading you to get angry just so they can undermine you some more.

[@willowclay3137]

He repeats these patterns over and over again with every woman that he's with. He's a con artist.

[@Loveispatient_2024]

Whats going on with people because there are so many narcs nowadays!! Many many men are so narcisitic, while in literature its said narcs are more likely women/females... So whats going on with boys/men?

[@lauralei6963]

@@Loveispatient_2024 It’s been my experience that they are all Mamas Boys. They did no wrong in their mother’s eyes, it was always the woman’s fault. Spoiled Brats to the Core.

[@daringgreatly8473]

Also bad behavior towards pets and animals. Are they always getting new pets but have had no pets for the pet’s lifetime? Bad sign.

[@qiuwbr091]

The level of competitiveness inside a narcissist is pushed to astonishing. How do they think up such schemes?

[@lauralei6963]

My son’s father even competes with him, and he’s just now a teenager. Never giving him credit for Anything. Always playing the Victim.

[@willowclay3137]

My ex is very covert and overt about his abuse. He does it in a very pathological way to fool everyone around him.

[@KJAlways]

Willow Clay Did you see any of these early warning signs?

[@willowclay3137]

It's like everything he does is like a chess game and you're the pawn.

[@EQwithDrG]

I am glad that you are now free.

[@mariax3049]

..and things happen So fast, it's like you feel you can't take a brake and breath (they do this so we wont catch up with their BS) & they are So "nice", but their niceness is overwhelming and pushy..-you feel it in your gut that it's not normal at all. AND it Will be used against you! PS! You can say NO and still be a kind & caring person.

[@Corpsecreate]

Very very good video. Everything you said is spot-on, perfectly accurate. This video should have more views! I came out of an abusive relationship myself, she had all of these warning signs but I had her on a pedestal and made constant excuses for her. The end of our relationship broke me, but I am slowly slowly slowly recovering.

[@EQwithDrG]

Thank you for your comment. Many people dislike videos about the negative side of relationships. But it is important to look at it. There is so much on the positive side of things on youtube. I am hoping to shed some light on what hurts.

[@chemtrailmary]

hello corpsecreate, how to spot an abuser before it all happens. these people are very tricky. i did like this video also. i never heard the part about people with low self esteem. even the covert narc i knew had some self assurance even though he seemed humble and kind. your videos touch me to the core, corspecreate. they were so hard to watch because of your great pain. they were highly informative about how we feel after narc abuse. i will never forget your videos. i thank you so much. i am sitting here a year after the narcissist left. i still feel physically and mentally trashed. we just go on, don't we. i hope you are okay today, sir.

[@willowclay3137]

Excellent video. I lost my dad so my guard was down and I was out there. He was a Narc sociopath and exploited me in every way. I have no contact for two years. I couldn't understand what was wrong until after a year. Then I stumbled upon You Tube videos that helped educate me about Narcissism and cluster b disorders. I finally discovered what he was doing behind the scenes and setting the stage.

[@klattalexis]

Well yes, if you are an optimist, you look for the good in others, give 2nd chances, 3rd chances, etc. forgive freely even if they are not sorry & would reoffend in a heart beat. You are trying to figure out how to fix them, especially if you are an empath & have a caregiver personality. You are always trying to fix them.

[@BeeBee-jf7ul]

@Naseeb Dhaliwal Well said!

[@carolellamuch9571]

Yes while they destroy you and your self esteem and don't even acknowledge your kindness

[@wordivore]

It's not really being an empath to want to and to try to change them. That would be codependence. Trying to change them is also a form of trying to control someone and the situation. It doesn't work.

[@carolellamuch9571]

Aura Gael you're absolutely right

[@stacylamb5607]

Also watch out for those who are wrapped up in religious belief systems

[@minimouse469]

Stacey - That is right. I dated a man for 5 years that had been a "deacon" in his church, where he had attended with his wife & kids. He always wanted everyone (everywhere) to think he was perfect! He had me fooled for a long time. It was only near the end that I found out some things that didn't add up. Of course he lied, denied, and smeared "me" behind my back so that he would look like the wonderful one. And to think, I was so in love with him and trusted him, that I almost married him! After, his sister told me she thinks he did me a favor and that I "dodged a bullet"! I didn't understand at the time, but I do now. I didn't know about covert Narcs, but I found out that's what he is and he fits the description to a t. That's what I was dealing with. He had a secret agenda all along, and manipulated me to hopefully fulfill it. He hid his true intentions well (behind his love bombing and seduction). But time was on my side. It was over four years of dating, and he started acting a little different to me. I had no idea of the enormity of his deceit until after the discard, and it was shocking to me!

[@tg4145]

I met my abuser about one year ago. This are the signs I wished I knew they were indicator of something off: -No contacts whatsoever with family if not some occasional text exchange with his mom and sister. -No friends. He didn’t connected with people. If he used to hang out with someone it was to share weed. -Complainer. He used to complain and make a great dead of basically anything used to happen to him. We worked and lived at the same place(that’s how we met) and although yes, the situation wasn’t the greatest ever, he had conflict with both our employers and landlord. He bursted and acted impulsively in both situations and ended up leaving the workplace and being kicked out of the house. He gave ME the fault for both situations, even if I wasn’t involved in both. -For all the honeymoon phase, he kept talking about how bad and manipulative people are. He pointed out all people that were around me that in his opinion where manipulating me, and he was constantly trying to tell me how to act and how to BE. How to became. He used to compare me to other people that he thought they had a better behaviour than mine. He used to say that I was too friendly and used to tell me that I shouldn’t be sharing info about my life with others. -he was heavily addicted to weed. -when we had the first fight, he called me a bitch and throw my phone at the wall, breaking it. He never paid me back. -When the fights became more frequent, he used to call me names all the time, avoid me for long periods and then come back and act if nothing happened. Even if I tried to speak about it he would ignore it, not deny but ignore it. -He used to gaslight me and call me a liar. And yes, he used to make me believe I was. And more... now finally that I am out of it and I had time to recover enough I am able to put all the pieces together. I wish this can help someone out there.

[@wowso4]

This was so helpful thank you so much! I suffer from low self esteem and I know I need to work on this issue I don’t want to attract abusive man or become abusive myself since you said low self esteem people can become abusive.

[@beninthefield8502]

You perfectly described my ex..20 years too late for me

[@iStorm-my5fp]

My mother is great to everyone else but emotionally abusive and controlling with me

[@JumpingFlightAttendant]

Mine didn't start (hitting me) until after we got married - 3 years after dating. There were never any signs before we got married.

[@11burnout]

I hope you left him!

[@mariekatherine5238]

Very good advice! I was pursued for three years by a man who met this description to a T. He eventually lost interest in me when he took up with a woman half his age. I moved out of state shortly thereafter, so I've no idea what has become of him, or if he's even alive. He was heavily into meth when I knew him---that in and of itself is deal breaker for relationships. Never, never partner with a person with a life controlling vice.

[@suprgx472]

Albert's explanation of how the relationship began was all the signs he ignored. First thing she became attentive to all his needs, not normal.

[@amandareed1871]

Thankyou for sharing and teaching me how to be aware of the signs of abuse.

[@kimlec3592]

Being around them can make you feel tense & tired.

[@patricadyson778]

Toxic relationship no good..

[@lisaskillman5515]

Very interesting and informative video. I've been with a guy who cheated on me, then swore on his whole families lives, he wouldn't do anything again..he did. He's the sweetest guy anyone could meet, but has an evil temper, when things don't go smoothly and will take that temper out on me, never physically though. He's not a man of his words, has lied and cheated..I don't trust him

[@gayleneflower7711]

Cheating, gaslighting and lying are their regular routine...EVIL

[@minimouse469]

@@gayleneflower7711 Yes, so true. I experienced the same from many of them thru the years.

[@kelsambaho]

I randomly came across your channel and I love it...

[@JosannaMonik]

This is not all correct. An abuser can be abusive to one person, usually his wife, while being nice to everyone else. Also, being angry is not the same thing as being abusive. A man can be angry sometimes, which is just a normal emotion, without being abusive. An abuser will isolate you from your friends and family and try to control you. He will make you feel small instead of lifting you up.

[@agent_ninety9]

I'm in a abusive relationship scared to leave. You nailed, videos" how to get him obsessed videos" really???!! Thank you

[@EQwithDrG]

Hi Jennifer. I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation. I would love to help you come up with a strategy through a Free 25-minute consult. Contact me at www.drgeorgiana.com/contact.

[@mrcoffee5909]

That 2as brilliant... That, "" moody" word just rings so true. Most speakers use withholding as the term, but that word, "moody" really describes how ongoing it usually becomes. 😭😳💕

[@patricadyson778]

Turn the sound up.

[@burgermister7580]

I dated a jealous guy and dumped him

[@nichmon3221]

I honestly think abusive people are simply naturally mean and I think it's from a lack of serotonin. Because,...I read an article about it and I myself have take an SSRI for over ten years. When I don't take it, I myself get real grumpy and agitated, taking out anger on everyone around me.

[@ddoris4118]

He is constantly fatigued from having to undertake PIM in public. (Positive Impression Management). And yes, it's a thing.

[@AreUTakingTheBubble]

Thank you explained this so clearly and articulately so helpful thank you!

[@suprgx472]

As a general rule wait at least a year before moving in and especially marriage.

[@maryjoydelacerna1365]

I cannot Hear you 😭

[@aquarius560]

I really LOVED this video. Very informative, thank you.

[@saintmarybulicek567]

suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app [phone] or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ? We have 2 kids together it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger ..

[@sharonendler1467]

There was not ONE single sign until a few days before our first son was born after we were married 4 yrs

[@naturallymenow]

Cut someone off after a first date because of some of the characteristics you mentioned

[@MWisdomWisdom]

IT'S TOO LATE..HE'S ALREADY DONE THIS BUT IT WASN'T PHYSICAL.

[@intr0vert315]

Hey doc! Donut have a video on coercive control and maybe one on emotional abuse or covert narcissist abuse??

[@liliankamau6471]

Thank you just found the answers i was looking for

[@phoenixmoon5580]

Did anyone spot that the email was by 'Albert' at the beginning, and then turned to 'Larry' at the end of the video? It's not a major issue as the information being out there is important. In addition, any person (male, or female, dating a male, or female, and regardlesss of their name) experiencing abuse at the hands of what they have described as 'their loved one', and then reaching out to request assistance regarding self improvement for their future deserves all the assistance and positivity they can. It was/is/will be a seriously hard step for someone to take.

[@diannegoode9010]

Abuses happens inall relationships not just between partners. Why is there so much focus on just that area? I experienced abuse from both my son and my mother. Yet all l read about is abuse between partners. How many abusers abused their mother befor getting a partner? Its time someone looked into that.

[@cristinaferreira2230]

Thank you so much for this video now I know it's not my fault.

[@Anita-k]

The music at the end is way louder than her talking.

[@cindybrown9898]

i have NEVER met anyone like this.....id shut them down the frist time they tried to control ME.....NO CHANCE...

[@alicerayne9461]

Too much BS been there done that enough is enough, make yourself happy abuse is not Love!

[@Leansophfit]

Currently he punches walls n that when Drunk the last time was BC I smoked. He made comments about what I wear to. He has old way of thinking ya know like men work women clean. His spending is outta control. So much

[@Leansophfit]

He goes weeks with out food or paying bills and this is all.what I'm scared of if I was to move in with him if any of that would get worse.

[@mobutter2879]

LEAVE!

[@glam2be84]

This is so true!

[@MariaGonzalez-nv3nl]

Elder abuse

[@BMWPROGRAMMINGJAMAICA]

Why these Gentile women doesn't talk against the oral sex act? What do you have to say Dr Georgiana?

[@neelareddy9643]

A lot of this is entirely wrong and misleading. Abusers don't have a problem with their anger. They have a problem with your angry. Abusers don't necessarily have problems in their relationships with other people. In fact they may come across as the nicest, kindest, most loving souls to everyone else. It is all part of the ground work. The façade. Probably one of the reasons so few victims of abuse tell people of their ordeal. Because who would believe them?

[@steezy_11]

YES

[@MaziiMonetVideos]

Relationship number 5 their pets

[@burgermister7580]

I'm to old for this crap

[@davidnazaryan421]

I think your teaching the wrong message and alienating people, witch could cause p pole more trauma.

[@wgrady222]

My mother

[@winksartistt3817]

Sounds a lot like Trump to me

[@illegitiminoncarborundum115]

Really. Did you date him?

[@yoya4766]

I don't think this is well presented or accurate. A person can be angry, its a legitimate emotion, that doesn't automatically equate to being an abuser. I think abuse needs to be properly defined and while there may be general patterns. It may also be very specific to the individual. What I note is how many survivors say their partner was angelic to the outside world. This is not covered in your video. Yet it is things like this that get closest to an abuser mould.