empathy without boundaries is low self esteem

[@Iluvmushrooms19]

The value being consistent and not fluctuating actually makes sense so much to me. I'm someone who hates himself from time to time and then other times I'm proud of myself a lot. My value should be the same because i am the same person. But i also think if someone has low self esteem, maybe that's because they don't know themselves well, they don't have a stabile personality or something like that. So they should work on setting their values in life, finding values and purposes. And then they will be proud of who they've become. Sometimes the bad feelings are telling us something so we shouldn't ignore them either ❤

[@blueorchid5971]

I used to think i was a people pleaser but i was just around someone who would give me a negative reaction everytime i set my boundaries. They then told me i couldn't communicate but the reality is that i cant communicate with defensive people that push boundaries and always have an exuse as to why

[@crystaledeoghon9350]

You are right that empathy without boundaries is low-self esteem as I used to be a former people pleaser as a child and teenager but now that I am a young adult (21 years old), I have started putting boundaries on my friends when they want me to do something that I don't want to do at all and I have learned to say no because at the end of the day , if you say no to someone it's not like they are doing to die or anything it just means that it's not your job to make them happy.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

Totally!

[@sridevisudha]

exactly :) and the people who are meant to be around you will be okay and even proud of this :)

[@ellouisebadger849]

"we place too much importance on our role in their lives" - honestly I can see that in a different way too. With such high standards for ourselves we can also expect certain things from others when they might not be able to offer the same.

[@jointhefun4]

Christina talk about the ugly girl experience for me its so unbearable i dont like seeing attractive people at all i feel like everyone is more attractive than me and btw am so proud of you for being a doctor 👏👏 am living through u i don't think am as strong as you

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I’m glad u enjoyed

[@LaytonObserves]

The "growing up in a household with no boundaries" to "losing yourself in other people and taking on their emotions and burdens" pipeline is real. W video!

[@DarwinExodus-u4l]

Boundaries: The distance from which I can love both you and me at the same time.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

WOW I LOVE THIS

[@anna-prsch22]

For me not having boundaries was coming from the fear that if i don't do this or that for them, i could lose them. I don't do that anymore but that feeling of guilt after i say no just can't go away

[@aishaandros6757]

same girl same 😔

[@Maha-du2gx]

Hi, so I’m 20 years old and I’ve always had some issues with setting boundaries, because I didn’t know what it looks like. It’s just the fear of what’s going to happen next if I do it ya know. Which is why I’d ask questions from ppl around me to learn more about setting boundaries and just overall social skills.I now feel more equipped to set boundaries, even on a minor scale. I’m still learning tho, and I love your simple way of explaining stuff 😌

[@Mystic_Paths]

Empathy is a powerful trait, it can become detrimental if not balanced with boundaries. Constantly putting others' needs above your own without limits can be a sign of undervaluing oneself. Overextending empathy can lead to emotional exhaustion, enabling others to take advantage, and eventually damaging one's sense of self

[@Potatoehead6ft]

I love her so much cuz she speaks from logic.

[@heatherm8736]

I battle to understand what is really meant by boundaries. In general jargon it seems to promote the idea of a 'me me me' society

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

totally, it's used a lot nowadays

[@Maggietheebaddie1948]

I’m healing from this. No more miss nice girl.

[@cuffedjeans7320]

the section about trying to save people and denying that things are unhealthy just because someone has positive traits was chilling. you perfectly described my last relationship, where i constantly overextended myself and spread myself too thin to please my partner. that shit ripped me up inside, because i wasn't happy but i didn't want to leave and hurt them in the process. i got out with the help of my therapist, but i still think about it fairly often (it's been ~6 months). one of the quotes that's helped me most has been "empathy without boundaries is self-destruction."

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

i'm so glad this resonated, and you're in a better place now

[@tome3454]

I lived 39 years before I heard the word "boundaries." 4 years later, saying no feels natural. I'm glad you're sharing this knowledge. It's going to help a lot of people.

[@fabricehategekimana5350]

So true, I was in that situation for so long. I am a champion at falling into codependent relationships. Thanks for those useful advices. Stay blessed👌

[@japanesereadingandwriting]

Thank you for sharing your point-of-view.

[@Moonlight93567]

wonderful💖 Can you provide a video on how you dealt with past pain and what are the stages of transformation from isolation to socialization? Does it happen suddenly or are there stages?

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

love this idea

[@Finixia.]

And what to do when the other person does not respect our "no"? In a way where they're almost pushy, that you want to scream or cry saying NO and still this person does not understand it, and you have no option to leave such people, because they're related to family/environment etc.

[@Finixia.]

I have the impression that most people who try to help on this topic don't touch on this issue, which is also very important

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

they are not someone who respect you, because they don't respect your boundaries if this was a friend or partner that did this to me, i would think about telling them i don't feel listened to and distancing myself from them

[@savoywilson7]

🗣️📢You're beautiful btw

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

Thank you 🙏🏽

[@NH_HN]

Are you Welsh or live/have lived in wales? I keep hearing it in your accent. (I’m Welsh so I’m happy to hear it!) Great video, sound advice☺️

[@Nou-s4k]

What do you think someone value is?

[@gerardoavelar718]

❤