you don’t need self improvement, you need self acceptance

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Christina Aaliyah

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 109

@kaarinaMoongo 3 ай бұрын

I struggle with delaying happiness for when I am a "better" me

@ChristinaAaliyah 3 ай бұрын

ur not alone, it's so common :(

@anxzaya2playaaaaa 3 ай бұрын

@phongthehun1721its like ill only date this guy when i get a bigger butt. Go to this party when i know more people. Start this thing when im more productive. Etc, etc u feeling me?

@ikia695 3 ай бұрын

@@kaarinaMoongo do smth abt it, acheive ur fitness or wealth goals or whatever it is that youre striving for, best of luck

@asamabry 3 ай бұрын

@phongthehun1721i think it means people will put off happiness or self sabotage until they truly feel it is right for them to enjoy themselves AFTER they've done "the work"

@TheKaraqi4 Ай бұрын

@@asamabryI have a bad news, putting off happiness is a bad habit. No success will feel enough to make you feel worthy. Just celebrate every little success, old successes that you let pass through. Self improvement is only enjoyable when you accept all ups and downs as part of the perfect journey. Usually what we do is that we devalue our success thinking someone else did it better, we made mistakes on the way and it was not good enough. Accept and thank, accept and thank, accept and thank. That’s the reciprocity the universe is responding to.

@ariannasstudio8765 3 ай бұрын

For most of my life, I’ve been convinced that my flaws are something to be “fixed” but I’ve found that I just need to embrace them as part of who I am. That mindset shift is eye opening

@beekdorrr 3 ай бұрын

How do you differentiate between a flaw a bad personality trait? I dont want to categorize something that negatively affects others as a flaw I should embrace, I want to fix that.

@idkheheMemeMaster 3 ай бұрын

6:44 mother is serving😩🙏

@kino_cinante 3 ай бұрын

I've thought of self improvement as sowing seeds and self acceptance as harvesting the crops of the seeds you've grown. There isn't any point continuously sowing seeds and never harvesting, at some point you have to enjoy the results of your work and be ok with things.

@idrk1507 3 ай бұрын

Woah, this is so perceptive

@thelmaotiono3999 3 ай бұрын

I really like this video. Everyone says you have to push and grind till your last breath but I don't want to do that and I'm so glad to see you post such a perspective. I wanted to be the programmer in my college, I wanted to be the smartest, I wanted to invest, be confident and attractive and have everyone flock to me because I am worthy of their love now, the new and improved me is worthy for validation. But I kept crumbling, I'd set days to hustle but I'd hate how mentally draining it is to do the deep work, I'd procrastinate and hate myself for it. I wasn't proud of my achievements in coding or the fact that I could speak more to people now than compared to my shy previous self, I just hated my lack of progress until eventually I stopped trying to be better. I would like to live for myself, I've accepted the fact that my coding skills suck and that I'm average, no genius and it hurts but I believe there is so much to life than just trying to be good at something. After trying your video, I'd like to forgive myself for all the criticism, thanks again.

@BourgeoisBoys 3 ай бұрын

Well said! Just came from taking myself to the movies. Once you've self accepted for awhile, you'll soon realise how weird it is that we live in a world where you have to remind people that... Being kind to Yourself has literary ZERO downside.

@ChristinaAaliyah 3 ай бұрын

i love that! what did you watch 🍿

@BourgeoisBoys 3 ай бұрын

@@ChristinaAaliyah Alien: Romulus! I personally loved it! But it's not for the faint of heart. 😅

@RammingSpeed-lk8kk 15 күн бұрын

@@ChristinaAaliyahso I di t need to improve?..women will like me for who i am?

@alicjaz2771 3 ай бұрын

I'm 29 and let me say, the 20 to 30 decade feels like a big lesson in exactly what you're talking about. Why do we want to be so impressive to other people? Are we afraid of feeling less valuable? Will our achievements make us more loveable, less likely to have our hearts broken? Or is it better to be loved by people whose favorite sound in the world is when we laugh so hard we snort? I also read a really interesting piece of advice. If you feel like you're boring, stop trying to make yourself appear more interesting. Start being interestED. find hobbies, interests, not to be more productive or cool, but genuinely for fun.

@McKorosh 3 ай бұрын

I suppose it’s easy to think that one needs self-improvement when it is actually therapy and emotional work they need. Great video ❤

@Daft_Sage 3 ай бұрын

The real secret is the final line of the serenity prayer "the wisdom to know the difference." You need serenity to accept the things you cannot change and the courage to change the things you can, but without the wisdom, you will suffer.

@aquainebay3848 3 ай бұрын

While self-improvement can be detrimental, we are living in a time right now where we have an over abundance of "self-acceptance". Sometimes you actually need self-improvement. Self-acceptance can also be detrimental as well. Today we have many people that are selfish, entitled, and have trouble compromising and working with others(it existed before of course but, now it seems to be more common than usual). My opinion is that you need both. For some, more self-improvement, others, self-acceptance. You have to find that happy medium for yourself. Also, a lot of self-improvement and self-acceptance coaches and books fail at helping because they do not take into account people's situations and factors that are outside of their control(Example: Your salary. You can't change how much your boss is willing to pay you for doing X job/career).

@ikia695 3 ай бұрын

this perfectly summarises everything

@T_kats 3 ай бұрын

Not necessarily, self acceptance when executed the right way can translate into genuine self improvement. It’s just like she said in the intro, self acceptance can achieve much more of what self improvement intends to do in a way that’s healthier.

@divine_khemi 3 ай бұрын

@@T_katsI agree with this point . When I accept my body I treat it right naturally. I think self acceptance is seeing you for you , and what you can do . While self improvement is always chasing the look of doing better .

@webiorg6147 3 ай бұрын

"Today we have many people that are selfish, entitled, and have trouble compromising and working with others" the issue is not that those people "accept themselves" (acceptance doesn't exclude improvement), but that they don't see anything wrong with them. "Your salary. You can't change how much your boss is willing to pay you for doing X job/career)." You can improve yourself, educate yourself and get a new job, you can't however, control things like your health, finances, or family situation.

@divine_khemi 3 ай бұрын

@@webiorg6147 i get what you say , a lot of ppl don’t think they need to change (maybe until something drastic happens) . I personally think those types of ppl might not be self aware or care to do better in the first place . I think I’m referring to ppl who care or is at a point of self awareness when they wanna do more or better for themselves and the ppl around them . The point is that you can’t change much if you dont look at where you are and where you started from in the first place .

@israelwilliams4245 3 ай бұрын

Your channel is such a blessing. It’s nice to see videos that are honest with a positive undertone. Especially when most videos nowadays are so negative. Keep up the good work!

@Turshin 3 ай бұрын

the thing what's missing in this whole video are goals. Without goals, your grinding can feel endless. This is what leads to burnout. Nothing is unachievable. You just have to create a plan with achievable steps/goals that ultimately lead to your final goal. One thing you have to remember, though, is that there is a finite amount of time during your life. So when you make your plan of action and list of goals, think about what's really important and understand what you'll have to sacrifice to get to where you want to be

@sinjilover228 2 ай бұрын

i think self-acceptance is much to do with the childhood trauma. i tried to accept myself a lot of times, but still "i can't accept myself until i'm x kg, until i get the highest score on the exam, until i'm earning more money, until i'm more disciplined and well-organised"

@ariannasstudio8765 3 ай бұрын

First! This video is exactly what I needed. Christina your channel has actually changed my life so thanks for that :)

@ChristinaAaliyah 3 ай бұрын

thank u arianna, this means more than you know

@sofiaaluv 3 ай бұрын

your videos are actually amazing i love that you are so relatable and realistic 💗 i love your channel

@easyactually 3 ай бұрын

I think everyone should watch this before trying to sigma grindset their way out of a rut

@kolyxix 3 ай бұрын

I was having the same inner conversation with myself. I have always being my biggest and harshest critique. I have just began practicing self compassion

@lumina0364 2 ай бұрын

I've watched a few of your videos and your perspective on topics are very interesting. I already know quite a lot about many different social issues but you share some new aspects about various topics that I haven't really thought about 😊 Thank you and keep up your great videos

@Maliasdiarii 3 ай бұрын

I believe self improvement is important too

@kolyxix 3 ай бұрын

I am really really starting to dig your channel

@xoxocelia 3 ай бұрын

THANK YOU❤

@Sazegriot 17 күн бұрын

I feel like self-improvement is inherently a vanity project. Self-acceptance cultivates the actual feelings that are just illusions with self-improvement. I also think compartmentalization, or a separation of our sensitive mind and our rational mind is important to self-acceptance. The way our brain rewards us... it's wired on quick/easy gratification. Self-improvement fulfills that short term with the setting of goals, but it pales in comparison to the meaningful, long term rewards that accepting oneself brings. In general, I don't think people understand that concerted rationality is only a short burst attribute of the human mind, and long term well-being does involve as being more emotional. There is maturity and rationality in understanding that sustained self-acceptance comes with emotional labor at first, but ultimately big rewards... but the whole process isn't logical, it's like a prenegotiation between the real and the possible.

@tchoteudimitri8506 3 ай бұрын

I always struggled with this self improvement concept as it made me hate myself in the long run rather than the other way around. It's just recently that I realised that, I have not been doing the right thing all along, and that started affecting my relationship. It's the perception of self-love that people have that hinders them from going that route. As if, loving yourself means you do not need to change, as you might be perfect the way you are. That might be true, but that's yet a very simplistic way of making that option feel wrong. PS: nice white T btw

@zatlanibrahim5438 3 ай бұрын

Self-acceptance will lead to self-improvement, if you accept you’re lazy and your laziness is the cause that led to not getting your dream , well you can do better and improve by working

@idragons1627 3 ай бұрын

Hi Christina, amazing video as always 😼❤️ could you make a video on how to invest ? I know its not the main topic of your chanel but I would be very curious to see your take on that :)

@adishegokar 3 ай бұрын

Self-Improvement is like masterbution .......- Fight Club

@khoakdoan 3 ай бұрын

Good stuff as always

@ChristinaAaliyah 3 ай бұрын

thanks king

@Noffilus 3 ай бұрын

I really enjoyed this video, but that has made me think about the title. Yes, you don't need 'self improvement' per se (because a lot of these videos have and or set toxic standards for oneself that are very generalized, and are not a 'one size fits all'), but couldn't you say that 'self acceptance' is a form of 'self improvement'? Because it feels like/comes across as if you are dividing the two into two separate things whilst I feel like these are very intertwined with each other. Just thought I'd point it out as it was the first thing that caught my eye, even before watching the video. On a side note; these videos are so nice to have playing while working on something. Makes it feel like I'm part of a bigger conversation; makes me feel more involved and motivates me to keep going.

@ChristinaAaliyah 3 ай бұрын

This is a really good point, I do think they could be interwined, I almost think acceptance is a chapter that comes after self improvement. When you finally realise you are already valuable, deserving etc and don't need to keep chasing. I'm glad you enjoyed and felt part of a bigger conversation, that means a lot :)

@Noffilus 3 ай бұрын

@@ChristinaAaliyah hmm interesting! How I personally see it is- in order to improve oneself, I feel like one must accept themselves BEFORE one can embark on such a journey; being self improvement. If you truly accept yourself, you are already improving many aspects of yourself and you are already on that path of improving. For example; if you can truly accept the way you look (this is regarding about body image), you’ll come out more confident and feel better in your skin by letting go of things that cannot be easily controlled or adjusted; thus improving your confidence in your looks. Another example: If you can accept what you do or don’t know; focus on what you DO know and learn as much as you can of it, you’ll improve your confidence regarding your intelligence/capabilities regarding said subject and you’ll feel as if you’re smart as well, because everyone is smart in their own way. Smart doesn’t always have to be seen or defined as ‘book smart’; because I think that there are multiple ways one can be intelligent/smart (book smart; emotionally; creativity; musically etc.). But those are just my thoughts all in all.

@wayfaringstranger2798 3 ай бұрын

thank you for the video

@ChristinaAaliyah 3 ай бұрын

ur welcome

@waupiefipie7638 3 ай бұрын

Okay. I accept that while I lack nothing in comparison to other people I get to be alone my entire life. Oh wait I guess I should do something, like a Hobbie. Oh wait I should change my self. Oh wait but I shouldn't. Oh my God how will I solve this algebraic problem. I guess all the others out there have solved it and know how to live

@myself2noone 3 ай бұрын

This seems like a distinction without much of a difference. If you need to accept yourself more, that's something you need to improve on. Not to mention the fallacy of looking at the top 1% of people and assuming that's how most people are using it. Maybe some people are overdoing it, but the majority of people on a self-improvement kick are probably just using it to stop drinking as much or going to the gym more. Maybe eat a little better, or to just ask out that cute guy she likes. Judging a group of people by the 1% who might take it too far is a bit silly.

@webiorg6147 3 ай бұрын

And in order to improve yourself, you need not to hate yourself, meaning, accept yourself. The video focuses more on those who treat self-improvement (word associated with a 11-billion dollars industry) religiously and think that in order to feel good they need to be perfect in any way, who become insecure because they are constantly not good enough, and who are incredibly strict to themselves. What makes you think that's only 1%?

@TheShredtube 3 ай бұрын

Wil women accept men having self acceptance

@BourgeoisBoys 3 ай бұрын

Who cares! You don't need someone else to accept your own self acceptance. That's literary the whole point of "SELF" Acceptance lol.

@myself2noone 3 ай бұрын

@@BourgeoisBoysEvery ancestor we ever had.

@BlckPollen 3 ай бұрын

Prime Aaliyah would've had 100k views in 20 seconds

@Jadiorliminals 3 ай бұрын

Self acceptance is not good imo when I know I can be doing better

@SpiritVines 3 ай бұрын

Realllllllll

@Divyv520 3 ай бұрын

Hey Christine , really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with more Quality Editing in your videos and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail and also help you with the overall youtube strategy and growth ! Pls let me know what do you think ?

@alchased 3 ай бұрын

Surprisingly bad video and poor reasoning. Self-acceptance and self-improvement are in a state of tension with each other, but a healthy amount of both is necessary. Your video demonizes self-improvement while glossing over many of the problems with self-acceptance.

@jaysony8587 3 ай бұрын

The title already kinda triggered me ngl 😅 Self-acceptance implies you stay the same….self-improvement implies you better yourself . . .

@weho_brian 2 ай бұрын

tired of all this looksmaxxing BS. All that work just moved me from a 4.2 to a 4.7 😅

@Pabsd 3 ай бұрын

I already gave up mindset ahh video.

@Turshin 3 ай бұрын

I really like your videos and perspective, but I think you missed the mark when it comes to men. A man's value is based on his ability to produce and protect. We have to be in a state of steady continuous improvement and have the ability to "turn it up" when goals need to be met. When you're responsible for the well-being of other ppl, you can't settle or come up short.

@webiorg6147 3 ай бұрын

You would think that, but then there are men who are confident with themselves and they refuse to change for women - they are who they are, have certain goals, they earn as much as they do, and a woman either accepts this and loves him or she does not.

@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise 3 ай бұрын

Yeah as a man self improvement makes more sense to me, I don’t think I’m valuable right now so I need to improve. How can I be valuable being what I am right now

@webiorg6147 3 ай бұрын

@@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise You can think you are valuable AND improve. If you are beating yourself up because you are not ideal, you will hardly achieve your goals anyway with such low self-esteem, you will think you are unworthy of improvement.

@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise 3 ай бұрын

@@webiorg6147 I’ve been improving myself while having low self esteem and do reach some goals, every time I do have higher self esteem, life humbles me so I don’t know if it’s possible until I sort out all these problems

@T_kats 3 ай бұрын

Well see that’s your limiting belief, each and every one of us as humans have intrinsic value. That value isn’t defined by our accomplishments and how we measure up to societal standards. Stop clinging to toxic patriarchy my friend.