ENFP vs ENFJ Personality Type ft. Denzel Mensah and Heidi Priebe

ENFP vs ENFJ is a very common personality type confusion! Both types are extremely similar on the surface but share an entirely different set of cognitive functions when you peek under the hood of their minds. In this metaphor-laden chat, Denzel Mensah and I break down what the main differences between the two types are.
And if you're not already following Denzel's channel, you're going to want to start doing that yesterday!
You can find him here: / deezyryg
Or on Twitter as @deezy2_blessed!
Thanks to all you INFJ, ENFJ, ENFP, INFP, ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, ISTP, INTJ, ENTJ, ENTP, INTP, ESFP, ISFP, ESFJ and ISFJ folks who are tuning in!

[@arielle777]

I really like how you mention how ENFP’s have that inner world. Seeing their lives like a story book almost.

[@kaliah1494]

I love my ENFJ friend as an ENFP but he can be so frustrating in how he cares so much about everyone but himself. This kind of self sacrificing mentality can seem endearing, but when it detracts from his ability to seem authentic, it grates at me.

[@rachelk4805]

ENFJ: Will it get you to the place you want to get to? ENFP: We won't know until we're there... Also, I don't know how normal this is for ENFPs, but I have surface feelings, it's like an iceberg and the part you can see looks huge so it seems to some people like that's all there is, but there are deeper feelings I guard more.

[@phuongong40]

I think as an ENFJ, one of the biggest lessons we have to learn is you can care deeply for other people and still prioritize your own needs and boundaries. The longer you ignore your own needs, the more unhappy you're going to be with yourself. Plus ENFJ and ENFP use entirely different functions, so it's not that hard to tell them apart. ENFJs are actually quite quiet for extroverts. They are better with 1-1 relationship, while ENFP are more comfortable being with many people at the same time, more assertive, louder, more chaotic and less structures about future plans.

[@gargervon8697]

I have usually tested as ENFP. But, when I read up on the cognitive functions, ENFJ won decisively, and I just had an example of what you are talking about in my own life. I am part of a few small group communities in my church, and I am in one singles group and a group that is almost all couples. I feel like the couples group is actually more conducive to getting to know the individuals than the singles group, despite me being "the lone single." It's almost like there is a social pressure to not get too individual with one another in the singles group, and I get incredibly frustrated with that.

[@eugesaurus]

I was further amazed by how similar ENFJs function by Denzel's constant use of, "Does that make sense?" at the end of a subject because I say that ALL THE TIME as I'm explaining my feelings and thoughts to another person. I'm always conscious of and checking whether the other party understood my intentions accurately, testing the room not for validation but for the current "truth". Influence is definitely the keyword, because we feel responsibility if we don't understand or express to what we believe is accurate, as the state of others is very important to us. Denzel is totally me, and Heidi is my ENFP friend. We've had some disputes because of these key differences between the 2 types.

[@EffieKong]

You talking bout me or Esther? I loved the video. @Eugesurus and I were laughing about how easy it was to understand these concepts because of the abundance of metaphors. NFcore yeah!

[@eugesaurus]

@@EffieKong you hahaha

[@NoticeMeSenpaiii]

As an ENFP, I say that at the end of a lot of my sentences because my thoughts are so chaotic that I don't know if the other person managed to follow from beginning to end 😅

[@Madamekittylein]

I think this video is the most interesting of all of yours for me, because I am really struggling for a while to understand my relationship with my ENFJ sister (me an ENFP). It seems like I have a hard time working with her, though we want the same thing (in a way). The Fe Fi contrast really helped with that. She literally told me tge other day that she does not want to talk about negative stuff if nothing good comes out of it. And I feel like I don't have space to be myself, when I am majorly bothered. I don't need a solution, I need a safe space, afterwards I will come up with a fitting solution myself. I hate "solutions" which are not considering my feelings and situations and jump on the first thing to do *something*. If you don’t want to understand me, I don't need your advice. This talk really helped me explain this stuff, thank you soo much ❤️ much much love from fellow ENFP

[@sashavovk2868]

My brother is ENFJ. We can’t communicate comfortably.

[@hfortenberry]

Okay, Denzel, I know you were trying to find the right words but "self-centered" is just as derogatory as selfish LOL. I think a better word to describe Fi would be "self-referential". We use our own experience as a reference point to jump off of since there is no way we can literally walk in the shoes of another person so instead of being stuck at that, we use our self as a starting point and then we give that piece of our self almost like a way to lead the person, as an example, to encourage them to try it for themselves and then we 100% nurture the Fi of the other person once they take that first step to reveal themself and that comes into focus. I think of Fi as a very nuanced form of teaching and guiding a person to their higher moral potential for their unique character.

[@melaniereyes5717]

For ENFP, bowling reference, we are going to have fun throwing the ball. We notice what happens as we go when we throw it different ways and may adjust as we go. And get really excited if we get a strike at the end but don't care if we don't.

[@messily1456]

Love the pirate ship analogy! By the time ENFPs make it to one location on their wish list, they've already collected 1-2 more, so the wish list never gets whittled down to one singular focus. One singular focus takes tremendous amounts of energy and in-fighting... and then is still up for debate if another opportunity presents.

[@herecomesthesun21]

Very interesting conversation, thank you! As an older enfp (42), I would say that I do think about conveing what I'm saying in a as clear and understandable as possible way, especially if it's important for me. Also, it IS important for me to have some direction in a conversation, but in a very wide and meandering way, not a singular point to get to. More like a theme (or many themes that are linked somehow) we are exploring and understanding more. Like a widening (messy) circle rather than a direct line. And thirdly, I do think more and more about how I influence people and the world. It was very interesting to think about this: I want to influence people but in a very wide and free way, I want to influence them through my own individuality to find the spark of love, truth, joy that I feel in my own heart. But I don't want to guide them into any certain direction, because I trust that if they find/remember these values in their own heart, everything will play out the way it should and they will find what and how they want to do. I'm just a little catalyst on the way. I want to influence people to be themselves in the deepest and most truthful way, and at the same time I understand that I can't control anything or anyone, I can just have the courage to be myself and live my own truth and that might inspire other people. If that all makes sense. And I think all this has to do with age, because these ways of acting/thinking, these insights are quite recent to me. One more thing: Heidi you're doing great & important work! I wish I had understood as much as you are in your age. I'm learning so much from you

[@hfortenberry]

Wow, yeah that analogy of flying and looking vs digging for the treasure is SO GOOD! I'd be like "Where are you going?!? It's RIGHT THERE!! For us, with Ni, we can see the outcome so clearly that it really does feel that close "RIGHT THERE" in front of our faces. But I'd also add that not only do we see it right there, but we've already done our research before we ever set out on the flight, reading the travel logs of previous voyages, studying maps and geological surveys, studying the topology and soil profile to determine where we could actually dig vs where we'll hit impenetrable rock, etc., so we know that is the most viable treasure X spot already. Ni is EXTREMELY comprehensive so we do analyze for a long time before deciding, like Ti and Fi (it is an introverted function, remember). So it feels very self-defeating to go off on another flight. A good analogy for trying to pull us off of the X that we've researched, would be trying to pull you (Heidi) away from that Si/Fi centering that you always come back to for how you've been since you were a child, as if we said, no, don't worry about bringing people together, let's go do this other thing that does not bring people together. You would not feel good about being pulled away from your core like that. Ni is that for us, in the sense that we KNOW it's right and that is based on a ton of experience and research across our entire life. I think people don't always remember that Ni is a culmination of lifelong experiences, just like Fi, Si and Ti. I think people relate Ni more to Ne in being ephemeral and not deep more because intuition is so unrelateable for so many people that it's just some out there thing and they lump Ni and Ne together, but they're very different and I think people mostly don't understand the massive depth and nuance of Ni in the way that they understand Ti, Si and Fi. The reason Ne users (especially ENFPs and INFPs), don't have a lot of concern for which X/outcome will happen is precisely because you have not put a lot of thought into it. When you put a lot of thought into something, then you get better at discerning what's best (just like anything in life, experience makes you better at a thing). It's not so much about being attached to it, but about knowing from extensive and deep understanding. For example, if I want to understand quantum physics, I'm going to want to have a quantum physicist as my mentor rather than a high school intro physics teacher. People make the mistake of assuming that because we go deep that we also don't go wide. When in reality, a true expert has done both, studied widely and in great depth about their area of expertise. When they say X marks the spot, they're going to likely be correct. So don't underestimate a high Ni users if they also have a lot of experience that has fed into their Ni, especially if they are a healthy, well-adjusted older person who has a ton of experience that has fed into their understanding of the world.

[@anafunkhouse]

Thank you so much for this video. I came here to seek validation on which personality I truly am as I am extreme ENF, but in the middle of J/P. I relate to Denzel a lot more which brings me to conclusion I am ENFJ. Basically my boat is a rave cruise that is also trying to solve world problems (I am an environmental engineer) with a calculated plan and on the right direction. The DJ is playing really loud and I'm basically dancing the whole way. We make pit stops but only to take a break from the boat and re-up on supplies. There is also a lot of seminars, because not only is it a cruise... it's also a convention. We still need to grow and learn along the way. I forgot to mention my cruise is 10 years long. It's because to save the world, help humanity, build a community, and do research so you are the most prepared you can ever be, it will take a very very long time. I am also the captain of the rave cruise and organized all the activities and got everyone to get on with me even though it's a big commitment. It was well planned out with luxury accommodations, good food, and activities. You can spot me in the navigation deck, but I also stayed up all night partying with the team. LOL

[@rubening]

That is on point. I always want to chart the course from a 30k ft view, aiming for the stops along the way which are aligned with my desired impacts. Having that big-picture directedness, I feel free to improvise and explore along the way.

[@hfortenberry]

OMG YES! Definitely always bring conversations back around. My best friend of 38 years is an ENFP and I'm an INTJ and I always do this to her. We 've discussed it. It's so funny. We almost get into this push-pull dynamic but it works because neither of us fights the other. It's like an conversational oscillation back and forth, widening and then narrowing, widening and then narrowing. Also, re what Heidi was saying about looking at earth from space or looking into space, I simply relate that to the concept of order vs entropy.

[@sjpachica3]

Heidi.... WHY ARE YOU ME?!!? New to studying personality types, but I've done it and understood it intrinsically for a long time. It's refreshing to know that people think the same way

[@ranikster9955]

Oh wow. I can definitely see now that I am ENFP and I'm a 4w5. I can see some of Deezy's points for me as well, but that is more when it comes to romantic relationships. In general though, I feel the nostalgia and Si. Also the story with the INTJ seems to fit with my experience with INTJ. Normally we're great together, but when it comes communicating with each other, INTJ and ENFP are so very different it can be so difficult.

[@alexandra9944]

Hey, I also think I'm an ENFP 4w5. How did you figure out you were ENFP and not INFP? Asking because enneagrams 4 and 5 are quite introverted so it's a bit hard to differentiate sometimes :)

[@ranikster9955]

@@alexandra9944 I did find out eventually, when I compared myself, which, yes, can be very dangerous, to the INFP, the ENFJ and ENFP just two days ago. I watched this video and I basically I just said check after every sentence she said. Because everything she just said was scarily accurate for me. I had thought I was INFP for years, but ENFP was the one my friends have compared me to which I never quite understood, but it made sense when I looked at the functions as well.

[@alexandra9944]

@@ranikster9955 Same for me! What Heidi said was very accurate indeed

[@janellesiegenberg7216]

I adored the metaphors! My brain was so happy! I learned I am definitely an ENFJ. I have struggled understanding which one I am so this was great! Thank you!

[@mariacricarol]

I love this video so much! The first few years I took the test, i'd be an ENFJ.. But later in life it "became" a solid ENFP. And now I see how much of that J was just my religious and conservative parental education speaking louder than myself. It turns out that I was raised to follow rules and be organized, and plan for the future, etc... But deep inside I've never been that person, and I am so proud and grateful to myself (and my therapist, lol) that at some point I was able to silence those voices and follow my own path

[@cassiebaugh7961]

I could listen to both of you forEVER. So informative and eye-opening. I think it is absolutely beautiful how you both deliver your viewpoints with love and admiration

[@hfortenberry]

That was GREAT! Two of my favorite types talking for an hour and a half. Wonderful! And I'm sorry/not sorry for all the comments. Hey, it's more engagement for your channel, right? 🙂 Thanks again for doing this. I loved hearing all the nuanced discussion of the cognitive function comparisons and the analogies too. 🙂

[@lilamerican7296]

I'm an ENFP for sure. I have some serious type envy of the ENFJ though☹! I have an ENFJ mentor and she has her life together and she is #goals.

[@mufasosends6116]

i was just watching both of you in another video thinking: man it would be great if i could just watch these two because all my tests range between enfp and enfj. Just beginning the video but thanks in advance! this is fun

[@MissKateWalk]

Girl, I've never felt more understood in my life ❤ #ENFP

[@mats1300]

Love the ship metafore, totally true

[@NappingWanderer]

okay, I've been flip flopping for ages now about what type I am. I relate to sooo so many and I have different flavors of my personality that come out at different times. I think most would relate to that. I have sides of myself that are very INFJ or ENFJ... then I relate a lot to INFPs as well, but a lot of the time I can come off like an ISTJ. But, as I've delved deeper and deeper, learning the enneagram, reading up on the Jungian aspects and the cognitive stacks... ENFP was the one that seemed to resonate the best again and again. Now, I'm not the healthiest ENFP, I've got a lot of work to do, but so many of the points Heidi brought up resonated with me on such a profound level that I can honestly say I'm confident that I am indeed, and have always been and ENFP. The points about ENFPs wanting to be "seen" as someone who's got their crap figured out and the very, very, understated Fi/Ti dichotomy. That point got to me especially, almost brought me to tears! Great convo, guys, thanks so much (even though this is a three year old video and will probably never been seen. It still felt good to say even if it's just to myself. Love you're work! Thanks again!

[@NappingWanderer]

even now, after posting this... I'm still like "Weeeeelll, maybe??" I don't wanna pin it down for some reason XD

[@Dgn404]

I'm an infp and my mother is enfj and often times my life will cause her more worry than it causes me. I definitely get a lot of use out of my Ne and would much rather improvise as problems arise than suffer through attending every mundane detail. I spend so much time daydreaming anyway that I have mentally played through about every fluke problem I could wind up in so I know what to do when they happen. A specific example is that I often take a chance on people who are having a hard time because I survived off the kindness of people who took a chance on me in my teens and I am learning that I need to fight the urge to help first and question later. Often enough instead of a gratifying good deed I end up with another blow to my faith in people when they turn out to have other motives and were not being honest. I mean, I have plans for when this happens but I know how to read people so I need to just do it and maybe also tighten my definition of "need" for help. Anyway great discussion guys, I enjoyed listening to you guys explore the nuances of your types =]

[@DanBurns89]

Dream team is back l.

[@hfortenberry]

I LOVE it...an ENFJ, INFJ, ISFP and INTJ (all Ni users) are talking about communication and they use an analogy of bowling of all things. LOL Only a group of intuitives would get that analogy. Analogies are my bread and butter. I only recently learned that a lot of sensors take them literally LOL. And yep it's so true what Heidi said about Te users assuming you know we're not telling everyone to think a certain way. We're just exploring our thoughts, much like an Fe users explores the feeling landscape. It never crosses my mind that everyone is going to agree with me. LOL. Yes, that landing point Heidi mentioned is what I've tried to explain in the past as a benchmark in my thinking. Because I can't stack facts as high as Ti users, I have to set benchmarks, like put a pin in that thought, externalize it, set it as a point in time so I can find it again and come back to it again because I feel that there is something to it but I need to keep searching because I know that is only a piece of the puzzle.

[@alexandra9944]

1:05 omg so true. I'm currently obsessed with how my life used to be 3 years ago, I was so happy. Trying to recreate that but obviously it's not working lol. I'm so bad at healthy Si :D

[@hfortenberry]

INTJ here. The reason the INFJ is known and praised for their aux function and the ENFJ is predominantly noticed just for their dominant is pretty simple. The aux function of the INFJ and the dominant function of the ENFJ are extroverted. That's what people notice, they notice and interact with extroverted functions. It's as simple as that. Just like INTJs are noticed for our Te and Ni while ENTJs are noticed for their Te. You are going to be noticed for your dominant function as well as your extroverted high function. And if you're also an extrovert, then you'll REALLY be noticed for that extroverted function even more since it's even stronger in you than in the introvert with that same function as aux.

[@MissGourmandefr]

Very interesting!! I am yet so confused because I really feel like an hybrid hahaha What I relate to ENFJ: - having a precise plan, not "trying out" different options if they don't seem to bring me closer to my goal - always looking for the right "timing" - reading the room and dynamics of a group to adapt What I relate to ENFP: - can (need to) process by emotions alone = I don't especially need to talk to someone about it - don't intuitively link 2 subject together but very impressed when I understand the link after bringing the two in a conversation I guess globally (and especially rationally) I am more ENFJ and when it comes to emotions I am more ENFP

[@celeste524]

It sounds like you have Te and Fi! (And perhaps some level of Se?) You may want to explore the personality types with these function types to help you narrow down, but maybe you're an ESFP? Of course, reading and exploring the types would probably help you narrow down your type more accurately. ^_^

[@MissGourmandefr]

@@celeste524 thank you!! I will definitely look into it 😊

[@gargervon8697]

I was not clear on which of these two I was until I studied the cognitive functions associated with each one. That was when I realized there was a clear winner. So, I would definitely recommend going deeper into the cognitive functions and find the top 4 you relate to, then go look at which of the 16 types has them in the order that rings the most true to you.

[@ENFPerspectives]

57:00 If ur super proud of how spontaneous u r, u might be a J. 58:00 If ur super proud of how organized u r, u might be a P. ☝️🤓 I typed as ENF/TJ (12 pts F/T, valid test), but I am only more J, relative to other's P-ness (I based answers on people's perception of Me). When I watched NF Geeks, ENFParty, I realized I was ENFP. As an ENFP, I've always loved planning & organizing family functions (holiday parties, weddings, etc,...), trips and projects, but my day to day is typically flexible (unless, o/c, it's in the calendar plan). And then, Heidi was the only person on the www who correctly described our type online, besides NFGeeks. 1:19:00 On this one, I am very much 5w6 ENFP. As long as we are coming back up, I will come sit with you for a reasonable time period, but there's no need in my coming down if you've no intention of ever coming out soon; I will come visit a short while to guage where you are personally, and then come back later and sit again, if I sense things may change. 🔨

[@hannahcormier6554]

I would love to see a video about how to set and achieve goals without feeling restricted as an ENFP. I feel like since we don’t have the judging function and we the direction of our lives relies so heavily on what our Ne is externally stimulated by in the moment, it can be really hard to actually recognize that you might not be achieving any substantial goals. At the same time, I feel like bc of Se demon, too much focus on the reality of this situation can be jarring. Would love to hear any tips you might have!!

[@hannahcormier6554]

Also, I found it very interesting how Denzel clearly is very ‘destination’ focused, while I feel like ENFPs are very focused on the journey. I think that is why I find it so hard to finish things, bc once the spark has shifted to something else then I don’t have the same joy of finishing the thing. I would love for you to talk more about the strange way that Ne works compared to Ni. It is interesting how Ne is very focused on the present and external input however, the way that we process this info is very different than Se. It is almost like we are in the moment but not lol

[@con-can571]

I keep hearing these acronyms but can't find a video that helps me understand what they mean and the other ones...I'm so confused, lol. I really love this channel and have learned a ton in the past few weeks. Thank you.

[@AR-cf9di]

You should read one of her enfp infp books, it helped me a lot

[@hfortenberry]

Yep, as an INTJ, every detour I'd take on the journey would be very stressful unless it IN SOME WAY could get us closer to the end goal/vision. If it goes off on some random direction that is leading away from the vision, that is going to make me cry. LOL I'll feel like we are abandoning our baby. EVERYTHING I DO is in the service of my dreams and vision. Otherwise I don't do it. NOW, that being said, there can be a lot of things that may not at first seem aligned with that vision but actually are. For example, as a Te user, I know that it's important to take people's feelings into account in any venture if you want to succeed so I'll gladly take a detour that will allow us to resolve a possible mutiny for example. 🙂 Or, if I know the extroverts just need to have some free time recreationally/socially to recharge, then that will be included in the vision because caring for their needs gets us closer to the goal ultimately. I actually think ENTJs would have a much harder time with this flexibility in taking detours because they need to stay more rigidly on track and get the destination more quickly where as an INTJ, I can enjoy the scenic route as long as we are not turned 180 degrees around headed back the wrong direction.

[@hfortenberry]

YES! The way Heidi describes the Fi user with the friend in the well is perfect. That's exactly it. We are thoughtful, careful and thorough in our empathy because we don't want to get it wrong. It's too important. Other than with my INFJ mother, all other Fe uses have felt to me like they lack empathy. I know that they care but I've never felt understood by them, EXCEPT for my ENFJ friend and my Mom, like I mentioned. But especially ESFJs and even ISFJs I don't feel they really get it. I feel that they WANT to but they just don't. But Fi users get me, especially the intuitive Fi users (ENFP and INFP). They take that time (except ENTJs LOL) to make sure I feel heard and validated. With most Fe users (not all) I feel like they are rushing me because my feelings make THEM uncomfortable, which only makes me feel MORE alone. That makes it worse because then I'm having to be concerned about their feelings when really I just needed someone to be there for me. And it's even MORE critical for us because we do NOT typically share our emotions so if an Fi user is sharaing their feelings with you, and if you rush them or don't take it seriously, they will probably never trust you with their feelings again because you have then deeply hurt them. It takes a LOT for us to share that part of ourselves and we only do it when we REALLY need you and trust you and if you show us that you don't get it or want to be there for us, we'll remember that and won't let you in again. We need someone who will treat that moment as sacred because to us, it is. At least for me. Only then can I truly feel better, when I really need someone to talk to that is. As a rule, as an Fi user, I don't need others to process my emotions, but when I do, then I need a fellow Fi user.

[@federicaporceddu3932]

INFJ here. ENFJ and ENFP, please tell me where I can find you. I need you in my life 😂😂💪🏻🤗

[@hfortenberry]

INTJ here. Yep, swimming in Ni is true. It's like when you're scuba diving in the deep blue peacefulness and the water is the Ni, serene, dreamy, lovely, heavenly, soft. Then other times it's a steel, mile-high imaginary scaffold with the entire tree of life or cultural schema or conceptual framework of principles dotting it's skeleton.

[@hfortenberry]

OMG, yes, it's SO TRUE that we are so proud of our tertiary function. I don't need validation for it though and I do not give a damn if people validate me on it. The wanting validation or not has to do with it being an introverted vs an extroverted function. So extroverts are going to want that validation for their tertiary whereas introverts won't. In fact it will be the opposite. I'm ALL ABOUT my Fi values for the world but I know it's just a fraction of what I think about in a day. However it totally aligns with my Ni vision. ON top of that, I have masculine Fi in the OP system so do NOT cross me. I will come back at you. LOL For example, don't cross me when it comes to bullying or harming children and other vulnerable populations or mistreating animals or disrespecting the environment. Don't cross me on that because you will see a tempest of fire and fury come out of me and you will lose that battle. And I am proud of that. For example, the overturning of Roe V. Wade has been so deeply upsetting to me and I've been so angry at the way women are being bullied in so many states now, many of the women are victims or otherwise suffering and .... okay I won't go into all that but my point is that my fury around this issue has been coming out on social media and in conversations and people see a side to me they rarely see because I'm usually pretty laid back (INTJ). But yeah, we are proud of (but fiercely willing to stand up against the group vs needing validation from the group) for our tertiary. Also, I think we can be even MORE passionate about it when it's an introverted, judging function like Fi is for me. I've studied this issue in depth because even though it's tertiary, I'm in my 50's now, a female and know many women who've been impacted in various ways on the issue and I've taken time to actually study it, medically, socially, etc. so I know what I'm talking about. Most people have not analyzed it to the same depth. They just haven't. So they are more at risk of making the wrong decision based on some knee-jerk emotional reaction which then rules over someone else's body which is devastating and should not be allowed. Anyway, that's an example of tertiary Fi. I'll stop now or I could go on for hours.

[@awwroria]

20:15 agh so enfp-ic, so meee

[@BlackNella]

What is an analysts told you scored enf(equal split between j and p?)

[@emailgothacked]

Watch out, Denzel uses his platform to online be sexualy inapropriate.

[@AR-cf9di]

How?