ENFPs: 10 Ways To Accidentally Ruin Your Life

[@dibujos._.infinitos3436]

“10 ways to accidentally ruin your life” My whole life in a nutshell.

[@wardaxoxo]

Thank you Heidi. I am literally about to cry because for years I was ruining my life and doing every single point you talked about. I am now in my late 20s and after much therapy and confidence building, I have come to realise the gift I bring to the world and people being balanced in my ENFPness. I know I have a lot to learn and I honestly can't wait to reach my full potential. To all the ENFPs out there you are amazing, and you bring so much to the world even when you don't realise it. People can't even imagine how wonderful your minds and hearts are. Slow down, and know that you will get out of the negative state and shine ever so brightly when you really work on yourself!!

[@_ericescobedo]

Choked up reading this. Much love and wish you the world, my fellow Campaigner Brutha!

[@Dream-js5kh]

“Go create ,explore ,& discover “ is basically an ENFPs live laugh love

[@radownisia]

Time stamps ^^ 1. Decide that your insights are valueless 1:05 2. Limit the way that you seek out education 3:12 3. Staying in a situation that you really want to leave 5:55 4. Leave the situation that you actually want to stay in 8:05 5. Get so attached to any element of your own identity that you stop approaching things with beginner's mind 9:52 6. To idealize people at the expanse of actually connecting with them 11:55 7. Clinging to the past as the expanse of the future 14:20 8. Clinging to the future as the expanse of the present 15.40 9. To deny your natural energy and personality preferences and to endlessly fit yourself into boxes you do not belong in 17:12 10. Allow your personality to limit you in terms of anything that you want to pursue 19.30

[@Mart-Bro]

*at the expense

[@Waitukubuli]

Radownisia, THANK YOU!

[@kailash_nair]

Makes me sad that I can't copy this comment to a word document ! Thanks for putting this together 🎉

[@eloelotube]

Thank you so much for this video. My "mistake" has been to consider myself an "introverted" for a long time (also considered myself a weirdo, of course, because I felt different from the majority of people... turned out I like being different LOL). I am an ENFP and growing up I constantly put all my friends on pedestals and using a lot of my energy to build those relationships and nourish them. Very few of my friends put that same effort and none of them could actually stay on that pedestal for too long (obviously). I tried to isolate myself from having connections with others to avoid being hurt that way and I became quite solitary, neglecting my need to socialize. After the lockdown, where I had no other choice but to be stuck, I finally understood my need for connection and I am still learning, not to put people on pedestals too often. I am now much more conscious of who I am and how I feel good. Sometimes you need to pass through the "wrong thing" to understand what is good for you. Peace.

[@easlern]

I also came out of the covid years needing human connection, and I wonder now if I’ve been depriving myself of something essential by trying to fit the more conventional mold I had in mind for myself. What an awful time covid was but the experience gave me an opportunity to rediscover who I really am, so I’m grateful for that.

[@Kmglnj6]

I’m 45 and have been in a very difficult and dark place. I feel hopeless often, even though i have a beautiful life. Insert guilt and shame from said feelings, and it’s a never ending cycle for me. I have began doing some self reflection and researching- because I HATE being me & idk what else to do. I am incredibly grateful to have found your content. I often feel it’s too late for me because of my age, but maybe it’s not 🤔 all I want to do is love my family/friends and stop being my own worst enemy in all relationships.

[@shampaghosh1241]

You are not late at all!! So many people end up not starting this journey at all because of their fear of losing whatever they have built in their life by letting themselves into a different mindset. I'm so proud that you decided to work on yourself! I hope you will be able to understand yourself better and find happiness within yourself ❤

[@Ianu5]

I'm 44. I'm listening to my intuition and for the pas few years doing some changes (quiting my job, divorce, therapy etc.) Its a slow process but I'm a role model for my kid. He needs to see it's never too late and we're not stuck in unhappy lives. We have to deal with our trauma and to kick ourselves foreward ☺️❤️ ... keep up with the learning about yourselves 🍀we can make it! Just dont know when or how 😄 (joke) and yes, Heidi is a gem! 🙏❤️

[@jacobpeterson6251]

OMG!!! I have been asking myself this week will anyone even be interested in my perspective. Not even three minutes in you are validating my story voice. ❤💙❤ your work, the way you think and communicate.

[@lisafoster9190]

I totally understand you! I feel like this video just explains myself to the point where my whole reality has just been shattered. I'm wondering now about how based in reality I am and as another layer, how have I managed to get through life so far?

[@jkcmusic444]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 You just BLEW MY MIND!!! 🤯 I ‘m an ENFP and I have self sabatoged in all those ways at some point along my 46 yrs on earth. SO glad you are sharing your wisdom and can see the immense value in it. I value your insight so much. F@cking life changing. Holy crap. Thank you.

[@makenzienorato5934]

Sometimes i am very annoyed about the ENFP mistakes i make, as an ENFP i sometimes don't see whats infront of me and i end up in the same scenarios over and over again.it's not good. but i am quite shocked that i identify so much with all your ENFP videos. it makes me very happy that someone can explain my very dumb mistakes and why i think the way i do.

[@riamendoza4408]

i really feel like crying rn because of u T_T i feel so stuck right now. ive been very indecisive about a lot of things because the norms are not in line with what i want to pursue in life. what i really want to do is impractical and inconvenient in the eyes of the world and it takes away my energy and my hopes for the future. and today felt very exhausting for me, as if i was drained all of my purpose in life. it was very depressing. i have been waiting for your videos to come because it helps me to understand myself better. and yes, as if it was by grace of God, i was able to breathe once again and smile. your words of affirmation are what i want to hear right now. i dont know what to say, my thoughts are in disarrsay. i am really in a point where i think no one could understand me (as most enfps are) so listening to someone as confident as you in topics like this make me feel very validated. thank you so much, i love you heidiii T_T 💖

[@Mica2532]

You’re not alone, tough timess

[@jacobpeterson6251]

"This is the way" Healing May you experience yourself as you do, time will unfold as it should. 💙

[@angellombness4371]

Been there .. long time. Helped me too.

[@marshallbrown2072]

What MBTI has taught me as an ENFP is how to meet people where they are rather than trying to project an idealized role onto them. I seek now the strangeness, the uniqueness of others. People will very quickly disclose themselves if they feel seen, which apparently doesnt happen often with people. How do you kindle a spark in someone? I used to be so self conscious, having to speak to know what I felt or thought. Now I just let go, but always mindful of the audience and pitching the discussion at that level. ENFPs can be absent often, but when they lock in and can actually stand in the moment, they are at their very best. You cant change things unless you csn truly connect with others so that they can see what you can.

[@heidipriebe1]

“People will very quickly disclose themselves if they feel seen, which apparently doesn’t happen often.” I loved that (and this comment as a whole), thank you 🙏❤️

[@marshallbrown2072]

@@heidipriebe1 You have a way of bringing out the best in people.

[@riamendoza4408]

@@marshallbrown2072 yes i totally agree

[@heleneolsenthunem307]

I feel all of this🙈 one huge thing I’ve realised is that I’m now living the dream I’ve had all my life. And I’m complaining and dreaming of the future. Remember to enjoy and live in the dream that has come true.

[@vlogasapisces4865]

Same!

[@Sarajevo2000]

I'm rewatching this video after almost a year, and I'm learning new things that I didn't really understand the first time

[@jingwentang6768]

“Personality analysis is just a tool to understand yourself, but never limit yourself to what you believe you should"

[@Darth-Turtle]

I said "oh my god" out loud twice this video, I needed this one

[@ENFPerspectives]

6:27 This what caused me to listen, promote and share your videos. You wrote what no one else understands about ENFP and mostly accurately. I wouldn’t say “petrified” but definitely tired of seeing the same patterns in different situations so have no desire to explore anymore.

[@MissKateWalk]

I am. Soooo incredibly thankful. To KZbin for existing. And giving the chance for such amazingly self aware people like you to share your wisdom. I've never felt so guided and understood in my life before. Your channel is like a treasure I had been looking for throughout my whole life so far. Thank you for finally stepping iinto my life.

[@Mayakari]

I’m so happy I’ve found your channel❤ thank you

[@malek6610]

I was literally struggling with the first one yesterday, but luckily I did say what I wanted to say! So, If you haven't noticed, your videos about us ENFPs are literally life changing .. So yes, please keep making them! I have a list called "Heidi Gems"🤞

[@SesnoOjukwu]

This is a beautiful beautiful video!! Thank you so much again Heidi for articulating these feelings I needed to understand. No. 5-10 hit me hard!!! So so important to think about. You’re amazing

[@filipacarvalho2747]

everything you say relates to me so much it's like you are in the room with me, Heidi. And again I am crying

[@onjelbercier]

Thanks for including the last point that we are not limited by our personality types. I know that being a software developer is supposedly not exactly an ENFP-friendly career, but I think I can make it work as long as I find my own way of becoming successful in the tech field. The thing is I know that I can do it, and I like it. But I don't like the structural mundane lifestyle that comes with it. I just need to find a way to spice it up a bit for myself and be my own kind of software developer.

[@Rillien]

Nr 3 and 4 are so real! One the one hand my Ne craves for adventure and newness and on the other my Si gets attached to people and realities and makes it hard to pursue change. This inner conflict has been killing me lately, I don't know what to do 😔

[@AthenaIsabella]

Woah!! I was just thinking about if I should make videos again or if anyone would care and now this!! :0 thank you once again! Loving this one so far. I just quit my teaching job and my therapist said we are still students and teachers even outside of the class.

[@malek6610]

I just watched your farewell video .. One of the things you said is that, Nathan said that social media was never meant for humans, and you did agree. So, I wonder what changed your mind after deciding to quit youtube?

[@malek6610]

I'm an ENFP as well btw ^^ Enneagram 3w2 .. What is your enneagram?

[@AthenaIsabella]

@@malek6610Thank you for watching my video :) I still believe that social media is really not meant for us, or hard to have a healthy relationship with, especially Instagram and Facebook where you are more engaged. I do still love KZbin though and learn a lot from it, especially through channels like this. I used to be a teacher and miss sharing and inspiring others, and now that I have the time I was thinking about making them again since I’m not so busy. Part of me is still debating though because it may take me out of the present. What do you think? Also I’m not sure my enneagram!! Also I freaked out because my recent ex is named Nathan and I was like YOU KNOW HIM?? Hahah

[@AthenaIsabella]

Also hi fellow enfp

[@tasneemali4892]

Wow Heidi just found your KZbin channel and this one hit home for me. I have been stuck in my inferior Si comfort zone for a long long time. To the point I thought I was an INFP. Then when chaos happened my Ne rejoiced and all of the possibilities and fun started streaming in and I finally feel like me. Its scary to think that you can go years not being your true type and then all of a sudden something shifts and your like oh I'm actually and ENFP stuck in Si that is dying to explore so lets get the party started.

[@VestigiaLamenta84]

I am really struggling with the feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy at the moment. Just came back from hosting a festival with a beautiful team of people with whom I just could not connect, regardless of how hard I was trying. The analogy that popped into my head was that I am like a beautiful butterfly that emerged from its cocoon without its wings; the embodiment of unrealised potential, coupled with the inability to ever reach the place I truly belong.

[@malek6610]

what is your enneagrm?

[@VestigiaLamenta84]

Type 4 (The Individualist)

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

Even though I'm ENFJ I've followed you since your ENFP days, I'm so glad you talk about a lot of other universal issues too as I used to feel a fraud following you, with my 'j'. I have messed up my life in a lot of ways too.

[@eax2010EA]

All this advice is also very useful for intjs. I am not sure that it's useful only for enfps. I've dealt with everything mentioned in the video.

[@heidipriebe1]

I definitely don’t think any of this is exclusive to ENFPs! Just likely to apply to most ENFPs. I’m happy you got something out of it as an INTJ!

[@Aisha-mz2fs]

2:54 already crying DAMN IT HEIDI

[@solgast]

This really helped alot. Thank you for being you Heidi and giving so much! - ENFP-A, 4w5

[@AthenaIsabella]

Omg commenting again just because every point is so good!!!

[@annemarrie3895]

The ENFP.....a tale of contradictions. Hahaha a book I would most definitely read.

[@thepaperchemist3494]

This is so apt.!!! Thank you for sharing all this insight. I feel this could be a video I should keep regularly watching to stay on track as an ENFP. Thank you, Heidi. Watching your videos and implementing your suggestions have made my life much more peaceful. ❤

[@saifchamsi8412]

Hi Heide you have no idea how much you are inspiring me, Thank you incredibly much for your effort

[@bigmanting170]

Love this video! Would you be able to do something about finding out more of who you are as a person and how to feel a stronger sense of self. Not sure if this is an enfp struggle but if you could touch on the subject it would be great :D

[@angellombness4371]

Wonderful #10, allows expansion and seems completely inline with how well ENFPs can own paradoxes. Looooooved this video. Clear intro, will help when I forward.

[@tanvisharma6903]

Heidi's long videos really teach many ENFPs how to be patient!😂 (Really helpful tho

[@canibalkitten4213]

Great video, thank you for all your videos. I hope you can do an INFP one next!🤗 Also, the pendulum metaphor super good. I love how caring you are in how you deliver your advice.

[@jasminegray8335]

YES! Thank you for the video Heidi, and we’d love an INFP version 🌺💕

[@westcoastswingmusic]

Yes, I would love that too. ~INFP

[@westcoastswingmusic]

In OP theory, they say the 1st and 4th functions are where our imbalances are that create our recurring problems in life. I resonate so much with ENFPs having the same cast of cognitive characters that sometimes I almost wonder if I am one. But this video, navigating Ne vs Si challenges is confirmation that I'm an INFP since those two supporting functions are fairly equal in me. In OP, I might be a jumper FiSi. Si: Me and Fi made plans... Ne: ...without me? As if you could. To quote one of your best ever videos on setting boundaries as an INFP. Anyway, I have Fi vs Te challenges. Your valuable videos give me tools to analyze and learn from my challenges, sometimes even course correcting to circumvent the same predictable problems. My Si can replay your skits in my mind when weighing options. I see Te clutching her 3-ring notebook of constructive criticism crawling out from under the desk to speak up... brilliant. INFPs empathize with the underdog. Thanks for helping me see my path to growth.

[@tanvisharma6903]

I just completed this video, and I am SO GLAD that you exist. Literally. You really cracked it girl... I'm so filled with gratitude for you!✨

[@MDanimations44]

Heidi!!! Wow this video has been incredible and the timing is spot on as always ☺️☺️🙏💙

[@lindsey8998]

Thank you so much Heidi! Your video's always find me when I need them most :')

[@jingwentang6768]

Heidi's worldview just suits my personality and my life experience so well❤

[@cory99998]

This is ridiculously helpful to me where im at maturity wise. Found this at the perfect time

[@espressoshot21]

Great video Heidi! These are excellent tips. As an ENFP 8w7, pretty much all the points you've mentioned hit close to home haha

[@unstoppable2742]

This video is really great, good explanations and very nice to remember all those things about who we are.

[@_ericescobedo]

Recently discovered your channel and just through a few of your vids, you make even more and more proud by the day to be an ENFP. Thank you Heidi!

[@Duck-fy6xn]

Hi Heidi , i watched variety videos from your channel , really thanks for everything you give me genuine love and respect when nobody else can do , the most beautiful , cute, smart,deep enfp is you ❤.

[@emilywilcock4039]

I found a strange strategy that helps me so much in regards to learning with beginner’s mind and that is to, if possible, to take off my glasses and learn with very blurry vision. My eyesight is pretty bad and I can’t see people’s eyes and facial detail from even like 5-10 feet away. I’ve been so in my head about what people think about me for most of my life and though logically I understand now it doesn’t matter what others opinions are about me in most cases, my body still freaks out. I didn’t realize how much visual sensory input of other people’s faces impacts my anxiety, which is heightened when I’m new to something and am bound to be making lots of mistakes (as I should be). My body just doesn’t get the cues that faces are around that are watching me. So even though I logically know there are, my emotions/body isn’t getting that message. It’s probably the best hack I have found that actually helps me stick with something new and difficult. Anyways, another great video! And I was guilty of EVERY SINGLE ONE! Luckily, I’ve been figuring this out the past couple years and especially this past year, my physical and mental well being has improved so much! I actually like who I am. I always did like myself but truly believed no one else did so I must be wrong about myself. 😕 I love the way my mind perceives and thinks and explores. Life is so much more amazing now that I’m letting myself love what I love. It’s crazy how simple it is, though it was a very complex road to even get to there.

[@leadwithjim]

This was a great video... I am an ENFP who feels incredibly burnt out and depressed .... Trying to change that .... Hard to pick a direction in this place!

[@emmyt9304]

Man, you are going for the jugular! Thank you!

[@marshallbrown2072]

Oh this will be a good one! Do I get to yell “Yahtzee” at some point?

[@여란지]

Got tears at the end of this video. Thank you ❤😊😢😢😢

[@foreveronthemove]

Whoa. #7 and especially #8 are neatly packaged and explained realisations from my latest therapy session when we were reflecting on me having to periodically change my whole life when I finally realise that thigs are not working out. Is there a way to deal with things by not letting it simmer until it reaches a point of explosion? I suppose paying attention to the actual present helps. 🤪 Thank you for this ❤️

[@OrigamiTwist]

Thank you. 🥰 I'm excited that you're you too. 💗💗💗

[@ENFPerspectives]

12:00 This isn’t an ENFP thing; I’ve seen many people of various types deny the reality of who people actually are. Imho, most people wouldn’t get into a romantic relationship if they weren’t living in denial; that’s how so many couples end up separated, moving on to other romantic partners. Having said that, sometimes denial is related to trauma, sometimes it’s related to forgiveness, sometimes it’s also related to actually seeing and accepting the reality that no one is perfect. I get what your point was though.

[@Andy-se4sl]

Really great video... Thanks!! 🙏

[@Nathan-lw1kv]

Wow.. this ist very insightful.. Right now I am especially struggling with 3 and 4 (staying in a situation I don't want to be in and leaving a situation I want to be in..) After a year abroad (wich was the greatest time in my life!!) I startet studying business administration. Because I wanted a career with many possibilities and in wich I can travel or move to any place I like. But after day one I was bored and I hated it. I kept studying 1,5 years, because I always hoped for it to get better als also hoped for it not to be online anymore (multiple hours on a pc, watching the class and learn it all on my own without any contact was hell). I was so unmotivated and kept thinking about my second option that was always in my mind: teaching. The last 6 months were partly in presence and I actually liked it a bit more than the online classes and the classes were more interesting. But I was already unmotivatet, didn't go to class anymore and thought about teaching. And then I just decided to try it. Even tho I will limit myself, because where I live you most likely stay at the same school your whole life and you are very limitet in a lot of things (but it is a very safe job and brings a good amount of money) And then just before it startet I left the country to visit old friends. And we talked about taking risks, and business (she works in business and has a high position) and she asked me if I'd be bored after a few years teaching (wich I probably will) and that it doesn't matter if I change back and she said if I decide to do business again she can get me a job anywhere in the world I want in a great company where she works - this is like a dream for me to have that freedom. But then university started and I really like it. It feels easy for me but also challenging and I live the variety (Biology, Psychologie, Chemics, Writing and more) not just numbers. And everyone I know says I'll be a very good teacher (I also worked with kids before) but nobody understands why I am so tempted to go back to business.. there are so many possibilities isn't there something that will suit me? Has anyone some advice?

[@selenasflowershop728]

Wow this was amazing.. really needed this!

[@lelouchelamperouge6176]

I feel like crying. Please lemme give you a hug 😭

[@howtosober]

Sigh. Half of this is so relatable, and half of it makes me go back to wishing there were videos out there like this for ENTJs (there aren't). It's like the ENTJ is so rare no one feels a need to speak to it.

[@siddiqsmouse5004]

I was JUST talking about this with my therapist today! Heidi, did you bug our session?? 😅🤣🤣

[@angellombness4371]

Right, it's creepy how in tune the ENFP (&INFP) club is.

[@ЕкатеринаМихайличенко-б7щ]

Thank you for being excited that I'm me ❤

[@alysonwong818]

So timely. Thank you for this!

[@benf1111]

Yep, we have to learn it for ourselves... definitely resonates lol

[@crowley144]

Absolutely learning nothing until fucking up is the story of my life 😂😂 regardless of how much I hear the info beforehand. However, learning from emotionally felt mistakes is easy for me and our type in general I think so I reckon we'll all be fine. Just fucking up a lot along the way 😂🙌❤️

[@mebeleggy]

Wtf is ur big three in astrology? Cause beside the obvi intuition I feel like ur birthdchart shows ur crazy ability to always come out wit the right vid!

[@jacobpeterson6251]

For real tho!

[@angellombness4371]

I wish our culture knew our brains' cognitive functions the same way we bring up astrology. One day.

[@AthenaIsabella]

Seriously!!

[@oaprilmiro]

Thank you very much!!! ☺☺😄😄😄🥳🥳🥳🤍🤍🤍

[@CourageToLiveTrue]

Create, explore, discover

[@52darcey]

Brilliant and insightful as ever Heidi …your videos always make me feel so heard :)

[@creativerebelution]

Love this video ☺️

[@mareehutchin-coysh7312]

I think I’ve spent the last few years trying to limit myself

[@brunacarolina5634]

Incredible video Incredible canal Incredibleeeeeee

[@aichi337]

Thank you Heidi! 😊

[@dixiemerchant1052]

Boy! Are you on it Girl!

[@mauritsbol4806]

Would love the bootcamp, but the 23 years of failing everything in me is just not going to cut it haha

[@jaredpatterson5133]

Thank you so much.

[@michaelcortez9954]

I'm 28 and have only realized that my way of thinking is okay 😢 I feel more like an introverted enfp

[@CalloohCalley]

Heidi. Sometimes you are too accurate and I don't like you. JK! But dear GODS I needed to hear this. a;skhfaksejkfw

[@devinmagee5090]

Have you looked into what psychologists say about MBTI inaccuracies and unreliability. learning about my personality type has given me much insight into who I am, but I wonder why mental health professionals sometimes denounce MBTI and instead talk more about Friedman’s type a, b and c personalities

[@Lifescapers]

This is so useful and wise. Thank you.

[@brocklytodd5317]

Yeah a necessary video

[@DemonSlayer_ISTJ]

Just shared this with my girl friend. I'm an ISTJ.

[@mdwasifalamgir1322]

Going through the idealization phase currently. Damm this is painful.

[@chaimaealansari630]

it is hard to move on in life when you get hurt from the closest people in your life it became a habit for me to like being hurt and more I just grow up to like it and that what make me sad I'm 18 and totally loset and confuse I hate the place I 'am in today and I can not move back or forth I'am sick people who are selfish and weak however I feel that in minute I'll go back to the same things that hurt and be happy about them and glade for their exciting and a shame for my self for just complaining in comment on youtube

[@kaechamedia2802]

This is meee.... now I understand 😃😃

[@user-bq9ww8qv3b]

Is there anyone who can provide advice on how to get out of the "Si grip" that Heidi is referring to in the "Past vs. Future" section?

[@mauritsbol4806]

I wonder if it is possible to intentionally traumatize yourself. If you intend a specific outcome, that i believe can only become a traumatizing event if it doesn’t happen. Aka if you hire someone to fire yourself, but you manage to be promoted instead.

[@magdalenalukaszewska3071]

Do you offer one on one mentoring? Or group mentoring?

[@heidipriebe1]

Not at the moment but it’s a service I’ll likely be launching in September when I graduate from my current program, so I’ll keep you posted on here!

[@lisafoster9190]

Listening to this makes me truly wonder how present I am and if I am actually able to see things as they are? I totally hold a fantasy version of people and often put people on a pedestal. They are the ones I am attracted to and find exciting! I feel like going to the person I am interested in and just asking, is it only me who feels this or are you in it? Am I taking something that I feel is real and now knowing that this is now the way it is? So many questions.. 🦋

[@redjulie1]

Hello, Is healthy for an ENFP to live alone? And how do they do it in a healthy way?

[@xystago]

Can you tell plz tell me how enfp is sad and how they notice or how to help them feel happy

[@SoVidushi]

thankyou

[@xandragonist]

guess what i've done it all and i'm just waiting for my death to come

[@limo9402]

it's funny how they think a mbti can determine your whole future lol 🤣🤣 it's like using Auto tune as a crucht

[@appolinash]

Where can I get that course

[@ЕкатеринаМихайличенко-б7щ]

Please talk to me if you think my insights are valueless...

[@andrewreese9854]

I have so many questions

[@rahaagalin6826]

❤❤❤

[@lolitonani1973]

I am an INTJ and why I click here?