ENNEAGRAM PET PEEVES | Types 1-9

[@CandiceAM]

I'm a Type 5 and I haaaaaaaate last minute invitations to social events! Spot on. My other big pet peeve is people who are overly enthusiastic and/or dramatic over the small stuff. Calm down! Get stoic! Haha.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Love this!

[@ruthalvarez2936]

Yes! 100% agree with both of those. I was also thinking of when ppl just assume you should know something and then blame you for not knowing. Which kinda ties in with my other pet peeve, withholding information. I've seen ppl start a convo, get overshadowed, and then refuse to actually finish the point even though it might be important and help direct us towards the right path, so to speak. So I guess really just not having direct, clear and timely communication 😂 This is abt info, so just tell me the vitals, so I know what to do and process.

[@jfish032]

😂🤣 you would hate me *gulp* 🥺

[@maevealthea2621]

You would hate me tho.... But yeah, I also hate last minute plan changes too! Maybe because I'm a 4w5 that 5 traits are lowkey affect my actions idk

[@ZosiaDabrowski]

I'm a 4w5 and one of my biggest triggers is when someone invalidates my feelings or struggles, like when they try and problem-solve my problems in the moment of my distress, or when they say I can "just do ____ and you can improve yourself" but it's in reference to brain-based cognitive abilities or core parts of my personality that are ingrained and part of me.

[@구스뇨본체]

totally agree

[@ZosiaDabrowski]

Lol whoops turns out I'm actually a 9 to my core, instinctual variants and core motivations make a big difference when typing

[@nataliemosdell5919]

Amen. Olso, people and their damn sayings and aphorisms. Always seemed like a bit of a cop-out to me. A way to pretend something is simpler than it really is.

[@pellaw8011]

1 - 1:18 2 - 1:53 3 - 2:27 4 - 3:12 5 - 4:03 6 - 5:36 7 - 6:16 8 - 6:53 9 - 8:08

[@deborak.9284]

What tipe are you?:)) i love this, it saves so much time

[@pellaw8011]

@@deborak.9284 I'm a 5! You?

[@deborak.9284]

@@pellaw8011 same, now i know why:))

[@lizlopez7822]

Is it possible to be a whole bunch of types?! Or is it the Gemini in me?!! 🤔😭

[@pellaw8011]

@@lizlopez7822 nope! but a lot of types can mimic each other. which types are you thinking? maybe i can help

[@theoldaccountthatiusedtous6767]

Type 9 (as far as I can tell), and it's a pet peeve of mine when someone tells me what my intention was or tries to control my inner experience. I try so hard to do what's right, but am also socially anxious and awkward sometimes, and I've had someone tell me that I "obviously don't care" - as if the only two possibilities are (a) I'm stupid (which is ruled out because I'm objectively intelligent), or (b) I don't care about their feelings. The real answer is (c) I didn't know what you needed, but I now know what I need, and that's to get away from you because you are destroying me.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Oh this is good. Thanks for sharing. It’s so important for others to hear this. 💛

[@eleonore-8969]

Oh you said it so well! That's a big one for me too. And the strange this is, I often do feel like my intentions are misunderstood. While I consider them as very pure and kindhearted, for some reason people take them the wrong way.

[@Journey1968]

What you so eloquently described would be quite aggravating. Thank you for sharing.

[@lizlopez7822]

Omggg I just realized how much of a 9 I am because of this comment! It makes my blood absolutely boil when I’m told I don’t care about something or someone when I totally do but for some reason I’m not showing it like I want to!! It drives me insane.

[@its_ieshiawhite_and_co4596]

Type nine here, and YES on the Being talked over! It makes my Blood. boil.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@melissamulkey1033]

As a 5, gonna add small talk as a pet peeve. Let's get to the important things, like conspiracy theories for example! Lol.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yes! 😂

[@shaneg7529]

You're a fellow 5w4 brodette, may the (mass x acceleration) be with you! Btw, the term "conspiracy theory" was coined by the CIA to muzzle truthers!

[@alexistokarska9541]

Oh my, same!😂

[@SparklesNJazz]

as a 4 i will second that lol

[@dominiquecowens2826]

Hi, 3 here! In addition to the peev's you mentioned, I'd add that I'm quickly annoyed by pessimistic people, especially when they don't provide, or allow me to provide, REALISTIC solutions to the issues they present. Please keep posting videos, you're doing a great job, may the Lord continue to use you! 🙏🏾😊

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Oh, that’s good and so true for a Type 3! Thank you for sharing! And thank you for your encouragement! It means so much to me!

[@nicoletteleriche]

Same here. Oh, the naysayers!!! If they don’t come with a way to make it work, they need to keep on trying to find a way until they do!

[@KellyHilgerRealtor]

As a type 7 I also second this. A woman with some pretty intense health problems picked me out of a crowd today to bemoan her life and I listened because I’m trying hard not to be a bitch, but when she was done ranting (30 minutes later) she actually said “we need to hang out more, you are such a great listener, I have so many more things to complain about” This happened to be an event that I was HOSTING, and having a great time at… I almost yelled “I’m a SEVEN dammit!!!” 😂😂😂😂

[@kelseywarren-bryant2682]

Type 1, and rudeness is a BIG one for me. The "not saying please and thank you" part was spot on. Also, if I say hello to someone and they appear to intentionally ignore me, or if someone at work blatantly disregards my emails but then will answer an email from my boss. Rudeness like that indicates a lack of respect and it makes my blood BOIL.

[@eleonore-8969]

As a type 9 this was spot on for me. I also shut down when people talk over me and in stead of demanding my space by trying to be the louder one, I refuse to do that and withdraw. I'm also allergic to people who turn conversations into a monologue. And I have a sixth sence for spotting when people are already thinking about their answer in stead of really taking in what I'm saying. All of those things gives me bad feelings, like if I'm not being appreciated/validated/ respected. New subscriber🙋‍♀️ loved the video😊

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! Love that your a fellow 9 ❤️

[@tyleremery7088]

Yep, 100%. I want everyone to be heard (probably because I know what it feels like _not_ to be heard) so I wait until there's an opening before speaking my mind, but everyone also includes me, and people don't seem to get that. I see monologues coming a mile away and immediately check out and withdraw into my own little world when there's one approaching, because I've seen it enough times to know exactly how things are gonna go and I might as well just let you get it out of your system in hopes that there will be a moment of quiet for me to say something. There are certain people in my life around whom I just check out by default.

[@wendyray7895]

4w5: like you said about shallow talk: I have the hardest time with the standard greetings and typical responses: “How are you?” (when they don’t really want to know, and there’s not a simple answer anyway!), “fine, thanks!” (even though they’re not). It’s hard to imagine that everyone doesn’t feel derailed by that conversation starter. Also-this might be coming from my 2-stress space, but when no one offers to lend a hand, except “Oh, let me do that” -the ONE thing I have set my mind to, have a plan for... and there are ten other things you could do to help!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

So good. Oh-I like the 2 stress space, I bet other people can relate!

[@firebreathingmoonbeam3961]

Lol I mean it when I say fine thanks. I'm a 7 if that helps.

[@gensour6266]

Them: "how are you?" Or "what's up?" Me: can you please specify? In which dept of my life are u referring to? Mentally? Emotionally? Psychologically? Romantically? That is such a difficult question. And I meant that. Or when I'm not in the mood to scold at such seemingly insincere question, I just say, "Thanks, and you?", you know, just get it fast and over with. Idk if I'm 1, 5 or 6.

[@tiawestad6830]

I’m a type 1, and I actually laughed out loud when you said 1’s get annoyed when people chew with their mouth open. That is so true! Haha 😂

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂

[@breannarheinschmidt5722]

Type 5 and going to your example- I remember my dad taking me to get my first car and I sat there and cried for like 15 minutes because I could not pick a vehicle without knowing the differences between the two and no one would give me a forward answer!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Oh wow! This makes so much sense that a 5 would do this. 5s need time to research so they make the best most knowledgeable decision. Thanks for sharing! 💕

[@allybenge6140]

I’m a 9, and that was spot on. Especially the being talked over part. 💯

[@enneagramandcoaching]

❤️❤️❤️

[@kirknessfamily]

Happens to me all the time and I hate it!

[@LLuna768]

I’m a 6w5 and I can relate to the 4 in wanting meaningful and deep conversations. Another thing that bugs me is that when I point out a potential problem and I’m brushed off or told I’m being paranoid. I’m also annoyed by shallow, flaky, untrustworthy people. I can also relay to valuing careful planning over speed.

[@jshef9057]

I’m a Type 4 and you nailed it. 😤 Also, I was almost a type 9 according to the percentage values, and being talked over gets under my skin so much. I’m like you in that I shut down and if they don’t notice it makes me even more angry or depressed. The percentage values between a 4 and 9 were really close so this makes sense to me

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thanks! This makes so much sense. 💕

[@jshef9057]

Hillary McCaskey Glad I don’t sound stupid 😂

[@enneagramandcoaching]

J Playz Gamez not at all! 😂

[@rhondabryanthistlethwaite5351]

Eight here. Agree with what you said, but my biggest pet peeve for me is people who dominate a conversation. Everyone else in the group can throw the ball back-and-forth like a game of pitch, but when that person gets it, conversation is dead, because they’re going to talk for the next 15 minutes. I also can’t stand fake people!!

[@nicoletteleriche]

I’m a type 3. Yes - I can honestly say that unpractical and long-winded time-wasting discussions - with no real end goal - during working hours irritates me immensely.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@andreashetterly8415]

Yes! I'm a 4 and I hate small talk which I always thought was strange because I'm extroverted and extroverts are known for small talk and socialization for the sake of energy but I want connection and depth as well as silliness. Also I hate it when people seem fake. I've realized lately that I get bothered when I have an interest and others jump onto it to quickly. I want to people to like what I like because I want to talk about it but I sometimes feel like my sister who is a 9 is taking my "things". I'm learning that this isn't completely fair of me and I should be happy to bring people into my world.

[@alyosha.f.karamazov]

Type 9 here...I get ignored a lot when I’m talking.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Ugh. I’m sorry. That is so hard for a type 9. Never forget that your presence and voice matters. ❤️

[@life-givinglips8419]

Yes!! I say as a type 3 ALL THE TIME “I hate having my time wasted!” Or “what a waste of my time”. Also, being a homeschool parent (or parent at all for that matter) is super tough as a type 3 because I’m constantly interrupted on my way to a goal. It’s very challenging to keep my cool when that happens… all day long. 😂

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😅

[@a1fila]

I'm a type 7 and yup literally being stuck in a meeting is the absolute worst.. i get so fidgety and distracted that i often need to excuse myself to "go to the bathroom" just for a change of scenery!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂

[@lilliankeehn158]

I am a 5 with a 4 wing and I totally agree the type 5 pet peeves! I also identify with hating shallowness like 4s, it drives me bananas! I love it when people are real and have deep discussions with me. As long as they don’t take over and not listen to what I have to say. I don’t speak a lot, (I think a lot!) so like w/9s, when I do speak I don’t want to be dismissed. The other type 5 pet peeve I would add is people dismissing my knowledge or not really listening when I share something I know. Because I don’t share unless I am certain because I INVESTIGATE! 😁🤓 so it hurts when people don’t trust my knowledge when I share it. Thanks for the video! I love learning about enneagrams because it helps me understand others in a whole new light, which helps me love them for who they are in the beautiful way God made them!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

You're are so welcome! Love what you wrote about it helping you love people for who they are in the beautiful way God made them...So good! And spot on for pet peeves LOL

[@mirandas_universe]

being a 4w3, I agree 100% !!! small talk is a BIG NO. STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW SUNNY IT IS, I DONT CARE. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PASSIONS! YOUR DEEPEST FEARS! YOUR GREATEST DREAMS!! anyways lol, this is a great video Hillary!!! i LOVE it!!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

So good!!!! Thank you! ❤️

[@shannonmclart]

4 also! When the weather is brought up I either go blank, try to find a talking connection (what we can do that day to make a memory, how the warmth feels, etc), or show my slightly poetic soul somehow.

[@nataliemosdell5919]

I had an art teacher who was probably a type 9. I recall her being really laid back as long as no real harm was being done. She was happy to let some of the students smoke pot behind the studio. However, when they started doing it so frequently and conspicuously that it risked putting her job in jeopardy, she would snap out of frustration. I felt a bit sorry for her. Students and teachers alike would talk about how easygoing this lady was, and how it would be ok to do whatever and not consider her needs, but I knew how much it actually upset her that her chill nature wasn't seen as something to respect but something to abuse.

[@LuckyJAmbrose]

I enjoy your videos so much, they are so helpful and fun to boot! 9 here... yep absolutely and unfortunately happens a lot. I never realized just how much the talking over me shuts me down. 🙏❤️

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thank you so much! It makes my day that they are helpful and you love them! ❤️

[@8randi]

Type 8, I've never struggled with road rage. Being micromanaged will tick me off.. so will being talked to like I'm and idiot. My biggest pet peeve though would be being ignored or lied to.

[@shannonmclart]

Type 4, with seemingly balanced wings. Spot on!!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Awesome!

[@brittanys9545]

I’m a type 9 and I could not agree more ESPECIALLY being taken advantage of. Also, people not responding to multiple texts when I need an answer is a huge pet peeve. It makes me feel like that person doesn’t value my friendship.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yep! Same!

[@cherielaguerre5899]

Type 8 here… yea, you are so right. I don’t use my horn unless the person would cause me an accident. I didn’t noticed it till you said it. Lol. You are spot on everything else! Thanks.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

LOL!

[@karbear04]

yes! horns are only to avoid accidents! I was told this by my sister's friend who was a cop and carpooling us on a youth group trip.

[@taylorfisher3944]

Type 8w9 Hate micromanagement, hate any authority I deem to be unnecessary or inefficient. In elementary school I couldn't stand all the coloring in the lines we did.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

This. Is. Amazing. 😂

[@margaretjudice8944]

I am a 2 and yes, selfishness and being taken advantage of. Also rude people.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yes!

[@SparklesNJazz]

as a type 4 i hate when people get uncomfortable at me being self deprecating or opening up about something not so great about myself, or respond with advice immediately like they’re my mom or something. like, i was being vulnerable with you and you just squash it! instead, it would make me *so happy* if they listened and then maybe shared something vulnerable with me. as a four, one of the coolest things you could say would be “can i tell you something no one else knows”?? i can promise you i will be all ears and never tell anyone. and i will absolutely make you feel validated no matter how crazy your secret was.

[@adniaquila1093]

As a 9, I really hate it when someone asks me for my choice and (as you would expect) I would just give it back to them, but then then they give it back to me. It's really annoying because I really have no idea what I want and I need them to make the choice for us. Also your list is spot on! Very accurate!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Same!

[@tyleremery7088]

Even worse, when they ask for my choice and I actually make a decision for once and they either veto it, change the parameters in a way that excludes my choice, or go with a different option anyway. For example (you can tell this bothered me a lot at the time because it's such a mundane memory for me to remember so pointedly), my mom and I were once picking out a frozen pizza at the grocery store and she told me to pick whatever kind I wanted. I picked a barbecue chicken pizza because it sounded really yummy. She said, "That's not even real pizza, pick something else." So I ended up just defaulting to supreme because that's what she would have picked anyway. It wasn't that I don't like supreme pizza (in fact it's one of my favorites), but it was the fact that one of the rare times when I actually expressed my own preference, the rug was pulled out from under my feet and my preference didn't end up actually mattering except as a new standard of what not to pick.

[@Rich-wi7dn]

Type 9 here, and your pet peeves are right on the money! I can’t stand being talked over or ignored. I already believe nobody cares what I have to say - they don’t have to prove that I’m right with that. I also completely understand the pet peeves of the 5s. Don’t spring stuff on me at the last minute and do not pressure me for a quick decision!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Haha! Love it!

[@LynnsYouTube]

Type 1 - People not being conscientious and punctual. And grammar. I can relate to all of the 9,1 and 2 pet peeves you mentioned too.

[@deniereynolds6119]

1 here so so true rules, mouth smackers, laziness and ignorance

[@matthewspradlin6765]

I’m a Type 8, and the pet peeves are totally me! Especially the driving, and I don’t typically use the horn, but I do yell. I hate being micromanaged too. I know what I need to do, just let me do it! And, I will get it done. No need to micromanage me. I love it when I don’t have any supervisors around because I feel autonomous, like I’m my own boss.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂

[@syddddles]

@@enneagramandcoaching I also feel this as a 9w8 - relating with my 8 wing as I hate bad drivers and being micromanaged too! can you even have wing pet peeves?? also finding myself talking over others as a 9 as a kind of revenge maybe...do you also do this? definitely an unhealthy 9 habit. I don't like it so I guess I've found myself doing it back so I don't feel pushed over lol.. great video!

[@sayrewilkin-dalby619]

I relate so hard to the pet peeves for type 1, 2, and 3! I wasn't expecting too, because what are the odds, but you nailed it!

[@sarahbrandon7107]

Type 1 right here 🙋🏻‍♀️ so relate! I can’t stand lazy behavior, bad manners, or when the dishwasher is loaded incorrectly haha

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Haha!

[@Jessicaunarex]

I am 4w5 and I abhor when others label me as 'weird' simply b/c I don't want to conform to conventional standards. Basically insinuating that there is something wrong with me simply b/c I am not like others or have different interests/priorities. Or when they ascribe these standard definitions of 'success' onto me, when my definitions are different. (There is more to life than job titles, fame and money.) Basically being pigeonholed. I also dislike when 3s get doted on. You will see me in the corner rolling my eyes. The dramatic label doesn't really bother me--I think 4s secretly like being thought of as that, as long as it doesn't undermine them. Again, it can become something that distinguishes them from others. Type 6s--I know they hate it when they observe something and you simply label them as 'paranoid'.

[@wendyray7895]

Jessica S I’m also a 4w5 and I SO relate to your comment about 3’s! They seem to be handed everything a 4 wants, but they don’t notice, and they can make all the same “mistakes” that 4’s do, only it never seems to bother anyone... baffling.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Some good stuff about 4’s! And so true about 6’s!

[@adventuresofmedievalviking7948]

4w3 here - I totally agree except about the dramatic label - I absolutely hate it but that's because people do use it all the time to undermine me

[@heatherbryant4197]

Interesting! I'm 5w4 but my impression of 4s is that they feel about "weirdness" the way you describe feeling about being called "dramatic;" I think they secretly love being called weird because it reinforces their unique identity and reaffirms they're on the right track if they're not so mainstream as to be thought "normal." Even with a 4-wing, I tend to take being called "normal" as an insult and "weird" as a compliment. I frequently describe myself as weird in a self-deprecating yet sincere way, and am irked when people reflexively try to console me with "Awwwe ... you're not weird!" as if they assume it's an insecurity just because they would be insecure about feeling weird (projection, much?). Anyway, I think it might be reversed for "weird" vs "dramatic," but I suppose the context and personal associations with each label might vary from individual to individual. I'd be curious to hear how other 4s react to those terms.

[@heatherbryant4197]

@Chloe Nelson Ah, interesting. I do relate to being determined to dwell in my sorrow and sort of force myself to feel negative emotions for an extended period of time, wherever I feel it's necessary for whatever reason. That's definitely a 4 thing. If I am set on wallowing in my sadness or staying angry, I become immovable. I have also noticed I can "lean into" feelings when I want to. For instance, if I'm sad, I can make myself more sad, sort of like how if you're buzzed you can "lean into" the feeling and exaggerate it in your own mind until you feel drunk. It's hard to explain, but I think only a 4 would know what I'm talking about. One thing I don't relate to is being seen as dramatic. I think I come across far more stoic. I cry quietly and seethe silently in anger, although the anger can sometimes explode in a way people take notice of if I repress it too long. I think this difference is likely related to being a 5w4 rather than a 4, and thus having no 3 wing, the 5's stoic demeanor and withdrawn social style + the 8's comfort with anger as the 5 moves towards 8 in growth. My mom is an INFP and my dad is an ISTP, so I was never taught to suppress sadness and anger, thankfully. Btw, do you know your MBTI type? Or that of your parents? One thing I used to do as a kid that I'm not sure if you can relate to (as you might think it "pestering") is I would "test" people to make sure they really cared before I'd tell them what was upsetting me, or at least I would make them work for it and drag it out of me. When my mom noticed I was crying in my room, she'd open the door and ask what was wrong. The first time, I'd say nothing. So she'd come back half an hour later and ask again, "What's wrong?" Again, I'd say nothing. Usually only after the 3rd or 4th time she asked would I make an effort to explain. It's so weird in retrospect, but it wasn't entirely intentional. I think part of it is just that it was hard to find the words to explain and even more difficult to find the momentum to push myself to speak up and open up. I'm actually still like this, to an extent. Not understanding where the emotions came from, or what the underlying reason or "problem" was, is something I felt all the time when I was going through puberty as a kid & teenager, but into adulthood I have that issue far less often. I almost always know why I feel how I do now, or at least can point to a specific trigger. In retrospect, both hormones and PTSD can exaccerbate that phenomenon of strong emotions seeming to pop up out of nowhere. I agree, it's annoying when people are determined to "fix" what they perceive as a "problem," when arguably there may be nothing to fix, and give unsolicited advice about solutions to your "problems." Women, in general, tend to be better at understanding that sometimes people just want to vent or need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to commiserate and show they understand without trying to change anything. But I think there are also strong correlations with personality type and this mindset. Maybe it's a bit masochistic, but I think deep down 4s want to suffer because they know it builds character and makes them more resilient. So they are comfortable sitting in sadness and seeking out experiences many find uncomfortable, without wussing-out or trying desperately to escape the emotion. I think it may be unhealthy at times to get stuck in a rut of ruminating and self-pity or martyrdom, but the other extreme of trying to repress, rationalize, and bottle up emotions, pretending like they don't exist and living in denial, is not healthy either.

[@amyv.]

I’m a type 4 and yes I agree, but I could also resonate with my wing 3 pet peeves.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yes! Makes sense :)

[@jenniferadams1497]

A 4 here... I love that you mentioned we hate talking about the weather. I HATE going to parties where all they talk about is "How dis you drive in, did you take highway ××?" Or "Can you believe this weather?" Drives me bonkers

[@enneagramandcoaching]

LOL! 😂

[@KatanaKamisama]

I'm a type 5w4, and I resonated strongly with peeves of 5,8,9, and 4. I am also INTJ, though so the 5 peeve bothers me less than it does others, since I AM able to intuitively make good snap decisions. That said, I respect people that respect my time and strongly prefer advance notice.

[@willx2018]

Type 8 and that driving is on point. Honking seems like a little too much attention and we don't really wanna make them feel bad, we just wanna vent hence the in-car screaming. And yes to that micromanaging. Tell me what to do not how to do it, I'll figure it out.

[@abbylocke4241]

Not only slow drivers but just people who do things slow in general. My sister is a 6 and drives me crazy taking her sweet time on every little thing I’m like let’s goooo

[@enneagramandcoaching]

🙌🙌🙌

[@AdoptionLawSourceTrinity]

7w8 here. One pet peeve in each of the 6,7, and 8 types resonated. Wishy-washy people, being bored, and being micro-managed.

[@millieblair2610]

I am an eight and my biggest pet peeve is when people think I am lying when I am telling the truth!!

[@Celebok]

I'm a 9, and I agree with being talked over being a pet peeve. I don't think I generally get taken advantage of as much as other Type 9's, so that doesn't cross my mind as much. I also related to the pet peeves of Types 5, 7, and 8. Types 1, 2, 3, and 4 are more likely to get annoyed with me at times, based on this video.

[@lexiradjmj]

Wow, I actually started angry-crying when you mentioned the 9’s pet peeve of being talked over or interrupted…I was immediately brought back to a recent situation that was particularly infuriating. If there was any doubt in my mind that i’m a 9, it’s not there anymore after watching this video lol

[@ABlurbFromTheSerb]

Type one - SPOT ON!!!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yay!

[@lauramiraz8736]

OMG...spot on type 8. I do hate that label of 'controlling'.

[@tinaou5399]

Hi Hilary! We've spoke before, I'm Tina and type 8! I hate bad drivers, but I do use my horn, until Kyle tells me not to. He told me the horn doesn't get anything done haha! I also don't like slow people, people who lags.. it goes hand in hand with slow drivers, like you mentioned!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Hi Tina!!!! Yes! I loved meeting you and Kyle! This is gold!

[@Jeannineross]

Type 9! 100% agree omg and sadly it happens too often.

[@Samtabulous]

I am a 5 and small talk ranks super high up there with my pet peeves. I will literally hide from people to avoid it!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yes! 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@PromisedJubilee]

I just started thinking I might be a 9 like, yesterday. My biggest pet peeve is being ignored. Like, if I give my kids instruction and they're looking right through me, or they don't acknowledge that I even said anything, that makes me so mad. Similarly to you, if someone talks over me in a conversation, I ALWAYS take note, but it doesn't make me feel mad, it makes me feel small and worthless.

[@Jemimastar28]

I’m a 4w5 and I feel you on this. Allthough I know my enneagram type and dominate wing I can also relate much to type 9

[@raenforest22]

Type 7/8. Long meetings are pet peeves too. But my bigger triggers are people who are not as spontaneous as me, take too much time to decide on something (like the amazing and fun plan I've just come up with) and make lame excuses. But even worse for me is feeling like I have to drag conversation out of people. My husband is a 4, and we can't go to any events where there are ice breaker games because he'll complain. He's a pastor and he especially loathes mens meetings when all they want to do is talk sports and he would rather get into deep theological discussions.

[@pennyp78]

Yea type 8 - I also don’t use my horn when driving and just yell if I’m angry in the car. It’s more like I need to release the annoyance, and I don’t think the horn will really do anything. On the other pet peeves; I absolutely cannot cope with being micromanaged. It’s my worst case scenario in a workplace. Which means I like to leave other people a lot of freedom to drive their own work and be leaders, and find it difficult to understand when other people don’t like to work like that or need more direction. So that one is probably the most spot on for me.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

LOL! My husband says the same thing! Tomorrow’s video is Type 8s at Work. You’ll have to let me know what you think 😃

[@Maja-sv9we]

Hi, type 2 here. I can totally relate to this! I am rarely angry at anyone, unless they become selfish - that really triggers me. Also, I am always furious when someone makes fun of another person, even if it's just a fictional character!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

I love that!

[@karbear04]

type 5 and I hate when meetings go long... not because i get bored, but more because people prattle on about their problems and dont actually care about solving the problem. Sometimes I will venture and offer a solution (you know, so we can end a meeting and I can go take care of my other obligations) and I get blank stares from the VERY PEOPLE who were just complaining. I am an adult so I can generally avoid impromptu social things, but I do get uncomfortable when my in laws want to get together (or especially come over to my place). i wouldnt say pet peeve, just... undesirable.

[@Journey1968]

I so completely understand. I second everything you said.

[@HighFiveFriend]

High Five, 5! I am SOOO feeling the meeting thing! Can folks just start on time and end on time??? lol. I am a teacher, and committee meetings can be BRUTAL. It's why I often volunteer to chair or lead... let's just handle business and get things done! :). And great video, Hillary - you rock your '5's!

[@nastymidget292]

The story about your son and his car really resonated with me as a type 5, I did the exact same thing. If I’m forced to make quick decisions I’ve learnt that something as dumb as enie meanie miney moe or flipping a coin helps me know want i want cause if I don’t like the outcome disappoints me it narrows the decision.

[@ashlondajacobsgrzyb8048]

I can relate. I am a 9w1. I resonated with both. Also saw a lot of pet peeves in other numbers that I would agree with

[@sourgrapes7482]

5w4 here, spot on with both types

[@sparklefulpaladin]

Type 5 - one of my biggest pet peeves is other people telling me that I am wrong when they do not have evidence or research to back up their claims, yet I have evidence for mine, especially when they insist on doing this in a public space. This and people being emotionally manipulative. I do also relate to the pet peeves that you got from your type 5 son! I was planning to get a fountain pen for probably 3 years before I finally settled on one and my only wish with that was that I'd have gotten one sooner!

[@imacatgorl]

As a type 8, me and my horn are besties.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂👏🏼

[@lizlopez7822]

The best trick is using your windshield wipers for tailgaters!! It feels extremely satisfying to have clean windows. 💦🤣

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂

[@kailab4717]

Why did you name literally every single pet peeve I have

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂🤣😂

[@blahpoop874]

I’m a 9 too and man, that hit it right on!! To the T!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@blahpoop874]

It’s so helpful to hear from other people like me and to know what I’m feeling is normal and other people are similar. My Enneagram journey has been sooo eye opening and has brought me so much closer in my relationship to God and to learning more about the real me. Thank you for your help in my journey 💕

[@enneagramandcoaching]

I LOVE this! 💛💛💛

[@susansommer1463]

Type 9w1….the ones you mentioned for the 9 were 🎯.

[@bradwil7]

As a type 2 I feel you nailed it.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thanks Brad!

[@vanessam2402]

Type 6 here. I can go to multiple stores looking at one item before I decide. I hate it when someone sends me to the store “quickly “ to get something or having to go to. a store right before the close. We just moved and our old house had only shower doors. The first night there we realized that we had no shower curtains. I got charged with getting them. It was so hard for me to not be able to check multiple stores.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Oh I can relate to this! LOL!

[@lindaweedmark6025]

I'm 8w7 and when people don't do what they say they're going to do it just grinds my gears.

[@coconutmilch2351]

I thought I was a 5 but then I also think I could be a 7 and I relate to both of the pet peeves!! The worst is when someone takes up my time and energy. Door to door salesmen who think they have the right to harass me in my own home with their boring and annoying products. Oh. My. God. They are the actual worst. But also not only just social obligations that are sprung up the last second but any social OBLIGATION at all. ANY obligation that is painful and mundane and boring is a big source of stress.

[@arizonamonarch]

I am sharing your info with others who are being told the enneagram is pagan and not a part of a Christian based life, which is a pet peeve of this type 8.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Haha! That’s great!

[@leahreinert7669]

Type 5 married to a Type 8 and yep, you nailed them both!! 😂😂

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Nice!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@haleymurphy4273]

Yes! I’m a type on and LAZINESS. I can’t handle it!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂

[@GearheadExplorer85]

I'm a 5 and can relate to all these pet peeves to a certain extent. The ones that resonated the most with we were: 3: Passive aggressiveness 5: Everything you said was spot on. For me it extends to being rushed or anything dumped on me in the last minute. Another one is when I am focused on something I am working on and people drop in with a last minute "emergency" and expect me to drop everything I'm doing to help them. If this happens while I'm taking my lunch break...👹 6: Everything you said 8: Bad drivers and being micromanaged. Sidebar: Is it true that a lot of people run red lights in Arizona? 9: Being talked over...this is a biggie for me too. It kind of goes hand in hand with 6 pet peeves. I am struggling in my current professional setting because all of the above is happening. The 3 managers I report to do this. So I don't see myself sticking around much longer.

[@peterpan05]

Type 3: YES. Perfect!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@life-givinglips8419]

Omg #8 is spot on. That’s my husband and I can’t talk to him while he’s driving cause he’s so focused on bad drivers. Haha

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂

[@ChristianYogaTeacher]

This is going to sound just like my type 4w5 I hate it when people embrace stupid to be a part of a group. Be your beautiful, wise self - no caving to mediocrity!

[@pndmmm1126]

wow your eyes. just wow.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

❤

[@arizonamonarch]

As much as I relate to the type 1 the type 8 is just too spot on. As soon as you said their pet peeves I laughed LOUD and felt my face get flushed with embarrassment. LOL I get so angry and I yell and use the horn A LOT!! I just no denying this stuff. lmao

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂

[@TraceyKrska]

1w9: Chewing noises take me right over the edge, yet I don't say anything because that'd be rude and impolite and they wouldn't hear me anyway. [insert hands-in-the-air emoji]

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂👏🏼

[@lizlopez7822]

Wow, just have to say, you look AMAZING for having a 16 yr old! 🤩 My boys are 3 and 9 and I can’t imagine having high schoolers some day. What age did you find out his type? Loving your channel, thank you!! 🙌🏼

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Awwww thank you!!!! I found his type around the middle school age. So happy you found my channel too! And I’d like here to hear your thoughts on my latest video about typing children.

[@tyleremery7088]

As a 9, I find it fascinating that the pet peeves of types 3 and 6, the ones most directly linked to type 9, have to do with passive-agressiveness and wishy-washiness respectively - two things that type 9 can be very good at lol. (Sorry to all the 3s and 6s in my life. 😅) Spot on for type 9, by the way. I knew _exactly_ what you were going to say before clicking on the video. I absolutely _despise_ being talked over, brushed off, etc. I'm a fairly quiet person and don't say a whole lot, but even if I don't say anything I still have plenty of good things that I could contribute - it's just that I either don't think it will be heard or don't think it will end up making a difference, so it's not worth bothering to say it. If I _do_ say something, it's because I feel like I'll actually be heard and my opinion will be valued (or at the very least validated), so to be talked over, brushed off, ignored, etc. is the fastest way to get me to stop talking and fade into the background. If y'all don't want to hear me, fine. I just won't bother saying anything; it's your loss anyway. Along the same lines, I hate it when I'm going to some sort of event or gathering with a friend and then they go off and hang out with a different friend of theirs and leave me feeling alone in the crowd. Sure, I could go find someone else to talk to, but I know from experience that it will just keep happening, so I might as well just blend in like I'm already doing - or even just leave entirely, because it feels like nobody notices my presence so nobody will notice my absence, and I'd rather be doing something by myself where it doesn't matter how invisible I am anyway. I also hate when I'm talking to someone and our conversation gets interrupted for one reason or another, but they never follow up later. It feels like they either didn't care in the first place or didn't care enough to at least finish the conversation at a later time, so what was even the point? I don't really go out of my way to re-initiate the conversation most of the time; if they do then that's fantastic, but if they don't I just move on as if it never happened, because it might as well not have.

[@leslieedgin841]

My husband is an 8 and he absolutely can’t stand bad drives AND bad parkers. We went to a restaurant and someone had parked in two spaces on the front and he made it a point to find out who parked the car in two parking spaces.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Wow! Sounds like my husband! 😂

[@MissHolliday3110]

I'm a one. I get frustrated when people don't listen. One's are people who think ahead of a problem, so we've already thought of solutions. Also, if you're a wing 9, being gracious enough to not say "I told you so" when it turns out you're right.... for the thousandth time.

[@jenniferdawson4205]

Actually funny enough. Out of all of these, like a 6 loyalty and trust are my biggest triggers. I relate the most to a 6 on this one. If you really want to piss me off, then be untrustworthy, dishonest or not loyal. That really gets me going. Because I make it my life devotion to be loyal and true to my loved ones and always have their back no matter what. And if I have something to say I’d rather say it to their face. I can also be too forgiving and put myself in bad situations repeatedly because of how forgiving I am. I can even go as far as defending somebody who hurt me because I love them.

[@samiraaparazita1420]

Another thing to add as a type 5 is people assuming that I’m speaking out of my ass about something as if I don’t know what I’m talking about. While the truth is that I’ve thoroughly researched before forming and sharing my opinion about it.

[@gensour6266]

I took a test. My top 3 enneagram types are 1,5,6. I don't know yet if I'm a 5 or a 6 but I can also relate to having inner sloth and being spaced out at times. My pet peeves are flaky PEOPLE, those who don't honor their words, people who doesn't follow public guidelines, last minute plans, pointless chitchats, one-way convo (I let them rant/even gave encouraging nods/sounds, even if it doesn't interest me in the least, then when I talk, they cut me off and continue their monolouge, I drop the convo like a hot iron and turn away), irresponsible co-workers whose job ends up falling to me, and UNCLEAR INSTRUCTIONS on manuals or from people

[@nikkijp4120]

you sound like a one for me ;-;

[@bonnieluttkus7222]

Yesss! I'm a 4 and small talk is sooo frustrating!

[@k3rockstar]

Pretty good list. I'm a 4 - spot on! :)

[@angelathurman2052]

As an 8, I hate being called BOSSY...

[@Aham20044]

The shallowness causes me actually so much of a rage that I don't spare even my best firned

[@blitz19113]

As a Type 5, I am usually the last one to pick my order in the restaurant because I am still browsing through the menu. Sometimes I would even ask the waiter to kindly get the others' orders done first and he just return to me later. Sometimes my mom will pressure me to pick right away; and that gets into my nerves. If pressured, I just say that I'll get something they also picked. What goes through my head: I am thinking about the affordability of the food, "will this food be worth the try, cost, experience?" How long are we gonna stay here? Will it be nice to order something that I can share? Should I order something different or the same thing? Among others. According to Enneagram books I've read, this nature of 5's to take a long time can be connected to their upbringing where they were able to "make do with less." This is connected to our resourcefulness. And so we try to investigate and try to choose the best option because we don't have all the resources or assets to get everything we want.

[@blitz19113]

As a 5w6, this video explains why I am a very slow-to-decide person. hahaha

[@enneagramandcoaching]

I really enjoyed reading about you. Thanks for sharing! You have great self awareness.

[@lyndseymills69]

Type 5 here.. that is absolutely the worst thing that can happen!!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

LOL!

[@shermainewsj]

I'm a 5 with balanced wings and they were spot on! This is why i always make sure i know which restaurant i'm gonna be visiting a few days in advance for me to research on what to eat. As a foodie, i really gotta make sure i'm having the best food there. The only time I'm ok with visiting a restaurant spontaneously it's if I've been there before and have a favourite! On the other hand, a classmate of mine is a 9w8 and he manages to use his wing so well that he hardly gets talked over. People may even mistake him as a type 8😂

[@intuitiveeatingmama]

As a type 3 I HATE my time being wasted. I say it allllllll the time and do get frustrated when it’s happening and I don’t have a way out of it. With my 2 wing I also agree that selfish people, narcissistic people, are also my pet peeve. They waste my time and suck the go get em energy out of me!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Oh those are more good ones!

[@kavenkaven4989]

Me and my husband are both 100% 8s. He REFUSED to use his horn, I however am a horn enthusiast. I honk at peoples slightest mistakes LOL

[@enneagramandcoaching]

HAHA! Love this! Thanks for sharing!

[@jamiebrandonjr889]

I self-identify as a 3. At work, not knowing the goal or the ‘win’ for a project drives me crazy. In relationships/friendships, venting without a desire to improve the situation. Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this video. You helped me see an ongoing pattern I’ve had with curtain types. SO HELPFUL.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thanks for sharing!! And you are so welcome! So happy it helped!

[@simplyfitwithtara]

I'm a 9w1 married to a 6w5...oh my. My wishy washy drives him batty!!!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂