Ep: 027 How to Meet the Needs Your Mother Couldn't Meet

[@Jenniferarnise]

Visit www.jenniferarnise.com to join my Mother Wound Group Coaching Program TODAY!

[@vkat9762]

My mother wound is so deep I opted out of having kids of my own. The thought of the slightest chance of passing on my trauma to my imaginary babies was paralyzing. I am so glad I live in a time where I have bodily autonomy and financial freedom to opt out of what I don't believe my nervous system can handle. Now I am focused on parenting myself, and the work is daunting. Then Ms. Jennifer came along. Look at God, y'all ❤

[@mellesiabennett1428]

I ALMOST DID THE SAME THING BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO MESS MY CHILD UP. BUT GOD HAD OTHER PLANS. PREGNANT 🤰🏽 AND DID NOT KNOW IT FOR ALMOST 2 MONTHS.😅 NOW I HAVE A 13 YEAR OLD SON. AND HE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY LIFE. HE IS THE ONLY ONE AND I DON’T WANT ANYMORE CHILDREN AT THIS POINT. I HAD HIM AT AGE 35. I HEAR YOU SIS. 💯💯💯👍🏾

[@Random.338]

I never wanted kids until I got older. I had my last one at 39. And they are the best thing I’ve done with my life. It’s kinda selfish but I love knowing a piece of me will be here when I’m gone. And forever if I have grand kids one day.

[@fall_leaves4834]

Same

[@GinaGreenlee]

Thank you for sharing that. My story exactly. And you worded it so beautifully with clarity. I'm 63 years old and made the decision at age 15 to not reproduce for the reasons you mention. I consider it to be the most responsible decision of my young adult life and I have zero regrets. In fact, I now know I could not have developed into the functional adult that I am had I not invested my resources in my own healing. This healing was guided, in part, by the reparenting of two amazing psychotherapists over a period of 20 years. I started that journey when I was 32. I'm living my best life, in part, because I did not let society pressure me into giving birth to children I didn't want or otherwise might have traumatized. The cycle of intergenerational trauma ends with me. Amen.

[@CT-hz6mz]

Adore this!!!! 🤘🏽💕🏆

[@alannajanae7123]

“As long as you are being hard on yourself, you are in the act of abandoning and rejecting yourself..” A WORD!

[@Jenniferarnise]

You’re not responsible for how your parents treated you. You are responsible for healing from it. There’s a difference if you try and make them responsible for the healing portion, you will forever be broken. Yes you’ll be able to carry that around and point your finger and blame them and yes, they will be wrong. But you will still be broken. You’re going to have to make a choice. Continue to blame or heal. You can’t do both.

[@maxinesobers2606]

And you will be waiting forever.😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

[@alomaalber6514]

I appreciate this tread etc, there is very little material on this the book Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers was helpful to me at age 67. In my home a size 3 was never thin enough and more.

[@Alè0negative]

Love this advice Jennifer!!! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this crucial advice!

[@KintsugiRemade]

I’m sorry if this offends anyone but for some reason this popped up in my feed and while I’m not a black women and do t want to invade the space. But I watched because I relate to the content and let me just say this video was amazing and so so helpful. The words you out it into are so crystal clear and enlightening as well as compassionate but helping us take our healing journey into our own hands. Thank you so much!

[@theevolvingmindset333]

no offense taken! i'm happy that you clicked on the video and it resonated with you.

[@efurumcleod5235]

I just woke up and decided to turn things around by listening to a few of my favorite gospels to set my heart on Jesus before I begin my daily quiet time, which happens before I start my day. But instead of my selected songs, this episode popped up. I had been looking for a podcast/video that talks about the healing process of relational trauma ( mother ). During this season of my life, God is refining me so that I can let go of the hurt and pain that had gotten buried deep within my heart. Thank you to the host for this content🕊️

[@rhondaporter4104]

We all have mothers. You are welcome to be here❤❤❤

[@rhondaporter4104]

You are human❤❤❤❤welcome to receive this

[@rhondajo7822]

❤❤❤❤ I am a white woman, 69 years old and this podcast was the best message I've yet to hear about healing the mother wound. There are six generations of incest, child abuse and spouse abuse in my family (that I can trace). I've been working on healing my own spirit as well as breaking the generational curse so that my children and their children's children inherit a legacy of love, respect and nurturing. Thank you for your "Drill Sargeant" energy that reinforces the need for self-discipline and continuity which creates new cellular memories. You are a healer and a lightworker whose own painful journey and dedicated mission of recovery is a blessed example for the millions of wounded people who are seeking a path to their authentic selves.

[@pamelathompson377]

65 year old parenting myself! Starting a new career, adding more pleasure and play to my life!

[@beverleyreid563]

Congratulations on starting a new career! What field are you going into? Sounds like you're on the right path.

[@aundie732]

Yesss❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥go you!!!!

[@lynellb]

That's wonderful!!! Congrats on your new journey

[@steyv]

Congrats on the new career path and all the best. On the same path at 49. Realized I lived my whole waiting to be validated by my parents

[@emg98767]

Yess yess!!! I’m just learning to do this at 56!!! Better late than never… we got this!! 🎉🎉🎉

[@haniah5915]

I’m a 24 years young black woman, navigating through this world and healing from a lot of mental abuse, thank you for your sweet voice and message ❤❤❤❤

[@nursebeauchamp7060]

And I’m 34🥹 learning to receive genuine love and breaking generational way of thinking ways and healing daily 💪🏾we gone get through this 🧘🏾‍♀️🌻

[@haniah5915]

@@nursebeauchamp7060 yes we will!!🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@Makaylachosen]

Same queen

[@sohniandoye436]

my mantra for a couple months was “the bus ain’t coming, start walking to your destination ”. Everytime I had thoughts that something was gonna magically heal me or my mom is gonna magically change I would repeat it. It resulted it me taking full responsibility for everything going wrong, everything.

[@niev1111]

this will be my new mantra...

[@cookee888]

......likewise. 💜💜💜💜

[@MermaidMompreneur]

Good one! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏾 ❤

[@latashaburnard7778]

Thank you.. I'm going to have to borrow that❤

[@sohniandoye436]

When I accepted this mantra the universe started sending me help: Older Black women would stop me to compliment me, offer me career support,life advice my mama never taught me and hugs. one lady I met at work bought me a bag I really wanted, just to be kind 🥹 I kid you not!! I pray I get to return the favor to young black girls one day 💗!

[@jadamatthews245]

I am definitely in the loneliness phase of my healing journey. The loneliness makes me feel like I’m wrong for wanting better for myself 😂 crazy . Thank you for your guiding words of wisdom

[@kyle872005]

You got this keep going.

[@chipashamoyo6435]

I'm in the loneliness phase too. Thank God my son is coming tomorrow

[@pynkneka]

Same 😮‍💨

[@CreditSolutionist]

You have touched on a very sensitive topic in the Black community, and I applaud you for it. The veil is being lifted on a lot of our traumas. Thank you for your podcast! ❤

[@Shaa-Belle]

I am awestruck by your words, “If I was really here, surely someone would see me, surely someone would hear me”.

[@Jenniferarnise]

Whew! Thank YOU for seeing me❤

[@s.e.9091]

Same . It’s terrifying at times. Crying out to see if anyone else can hear me

[@ase2129]

@@Shaa-Belle this was the kicker for me too; I’m personally in a year/era of trying to address all of my shadow work and wounding before my baby comes into needing the rest of her parenting needs that come with her getting older. I’m 27 and I totally refuse to let this trauma pass down to her. Neither of us deserve to have to deal with this, but it’s certainly moreso for me than it is her at this point

[@mellesiabennett1428]

@@ase2129GOOD FOR YOU SIS👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. IT IS GREAT THAT YOU ARE RECOGNIZED THIS SO EARLY. I APPLAUD YOU 💯💯💯💯

[@classiql]

Wasn't it profound!

[@yourfavoritetimetraveler]

“good people will want to come around you”

[@Jenniferarnise]

They will!!

[@r.n.2926]

Ms. Jennifer you are one of these good people. 🙏🏿 Thank you!!! God bless you.

[@melanielavonne3232]

I stumbled across this video, definitely divine timing. Nuggets taken away “ Be committed to bettering myself, showing myself grace patience and tenderness. Thankyou

[@Jenniferarnise]

Perfect!

[@thefreequency]

"Am I even here?" Ohhh, I'm in the right place. This woman GETS it ‼️

[@Jenniferarnise]

You in the right place boo!!

[@queeniepearson9208]

Thank you dear one 😢 I never thought I would hear words of understanding like these. I am not alone ... I am not alone.

[@radiant_gem6736]

Right!

[@chipashamoyo6435]

She really does get it! I'm from Zambia, Africa yet this stuff she talks about is 💯 me! I'm not alone in this😢

[@veronicac.4272]

It’s so hard to find quality content about healing the mother wound.Thank you for this.

[@Jenniferarnise]

I’m so glad you found my page ❤

[@ashab434]

Woah… this conversation shook me! …I dropped to the floor of my kitchen and found myself balled up crying until finally I said “I will keep you safe” “I am here for you Asha” “I love you”…. Guess I have some work to do! 😅😊❤ thank you for the work you do 🙏🏽🌞🌞🌞🌞

[@mellesiabennett1428]

GOOD FOR YOU ASHA🤗🙏🏾💯👍🏾

[@jellybite1]

I'm wrapped up in my comfy blanket, fetal position, stopping the vid after every 2 minutes, coz it's a lot... I so desperately need to give myself a hug but I can't bring myself to do it.

[@ThePinkMic]

So it wasn’t just me?! I paused this video too many times……..oowwee. I have to take this in piece by piece ❤

[@VanessaSimon26]

Me Too!

[@VanessaSimon26]

@@ThePinkMic yes!!! This hard to swallow. Jennifer is brilliant.

[@ForeverAutumn77]

I’ve been parenting myself for the past 4 years. Though my mother and I were close growing up, I now realize the lack. I didn’t have emotional support and a sense of vulnerability from my mother. It made me tough, on myself but now, I’ve softened up and I give myself so much grace and mercy. ❤🙌🏼

[@theevolvingmindset333]

You're not alone, Faith. I too felt like this. I've been re-parenting myself for the last 5 years. It's a journey, not a race.

[@yanikeonpurpose]

Within the first few minutes, I knew you got it. Because as soon as you started saying you were questioning your existence I finished your sentence. I was out in the woods walking as an avid walker, & came across another walker. We started chatting & we started talking about why we love you walking. I said the main thing is because it makes me feel like I’m here. The wide open space with no one around surely means I must exist. He looked at me like 😵‍💫🤣

[@Jenniferarnise]

Trust me. I get it. We really are here! ♥️

[@privatename40]

It is impossible for a parent to meet their child’s every need. A parent can’t give you something that they themselves didn’t possess. It is important to parent our adult selves & heal. Also realize for those of us who are now parents we too will need to face the parenting missteps one day of our now dependent children. May our healed selves parent better than the previous generation.

[@misztierrasw]

This message found me at the right time. I just turned 30, & had a conversation with my parents on our relationship. Like u said, it's our responsibility to heal ourselves, but also making peace with the fact that my parents aren't able to give me wht I needed unfortunately.

[@Jenniferarnise]

It is sad but making peace with this and learning how to hold your own heart is going to take you so far in this world

[@moniquestallings9538]

It's so real and so sad how much people in the world are connected by the mother wound. It's such a hard pill to swallow. We honor our mothers like they are God. I had to see my mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother as unemotional hurt women. My mother wound goes back 5 generations before me. Now, since I am healing, my whole family on my mother's side abandoned me. All the family knows what has happened and is happening. But i know God got me. I am safe, I am healing, and I am grateful. Thanks for sharing.

[@MorgansBeauty22]

Similar situation😢 just remember Jesus was hated for trying to bring love and healing too!!!❤

[@42Butterflies]

They are not ready to heal, and your healing is reflecting that truth back to them. Healing from trauma can be hard to face if you don't how to deal with it. Thank you for your story.

[@DeniseG-c7p]

As adults we can see that they are also wounded people. Don't live your life under their wounds. Live your life and get the help you need to free your mind!

[@theevolvingmindset333]

Similar situation. You are NOT alone. My family members think I've abandoned them and I was feeling as though they abandoned me once I decided to move away from all the noise and start healing. When in reality, they weren't meant to go with me on this journey. That season of my life is over and most don't understand.

[@naturallybecoming831]

Yeah my existence has felt more like suffering and trying to survive. I’ve definitely found it difficult to accept my worth and validating myself. I literally don’t feel like I know how to be a functioning adult emotionally mentally physically. It’s like being in panic anxiety all the time. Everything you’ve described is exactly what I feel. Absolutely terrified of life and unsupported. I’m going thru this process of working thru my emotional needs. I usually isolate and withdraw so I gotta make an effort to actually connect with ppl. I see how I’ve been parenting myself in a harsh way like my parents treated me. So that awareness helps me see how to be more nurturing. I’ve never felt commitment or been put first so that does feel uncomfortable

[@coochieman8432]

Crazy how I relate to some of these things and I'm a guy I'll better myself

[@ChildofGod98765]

Lord, I pray that you would give me the strength to be the best mother I can be for my children. I know that being a single parent is not always easy, but with your help, I am confident that I can do it. I also ask for your help in providing for my sons emotionally, and physically so that they may always know that they are loved. Lord I struggle every month to provide for my sons. Give me strength. Thank you Heavenly father for your grace and loving tender care, and for always being there for me and my children.❤️💕

[@Cocoapuff09]

Amen 🙏🏽💙

[@mellesiabennett1428]

IN JESUS NAME AMEN 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@epithanyreighn]

I look back on my childhood and my Mother was toxic to me and my sister and it affects my self esteem and over spending to compensate for emotional spending. I forgive myself and my Mother, it's A healing journey 🙏

[@imomoh4701]

One important need I've been giving myself is compassion! Compassion and care is fundamental during a healing process 💕

[@Jenniferarnise]

It’s so important to practice compassion

[@marinakukso]

My family are immigrants from the former USSR and I identified so much with what you were saying. Growing up, there was no tenderness, patience, grace, second chances, or anything like that. It reflects how my parents were raised (more harshly than I was, for sure!) and the tough culture they came from. I never learned how to be nice to myself, or supportive to myself - there was only "you're not measuring up, do better." Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your message. Developing (and holding on to) self-compassion is definitely a habit and I'm still working on it. So thank you for the support 💪❤

[@marielockridge6857]

Finally, someone has verbalized everything that I’ve been feeling for 58 years. I got to hear more of you and I am going to put in the work, because I need freedom from myself, correction, from my old self.

[@JoiiLand]

Crazy right! I couldn’t ever just fully explain to anyone what is bothering me and this is literally it in a nutshell.

[@didicotton3900]

You said exactly what I was thinking…. Beyond refreshing to receive this message and truly RIGHT ON TIME🙌🏾💯

[@theevolvingmindset333]

GOOD! You will be so grateful that you did. This work ain't easy but it's extremely rewarding as time goes on.

[@gwendolyn79]

Subscribed, liked and leaving a comment. I’m healing from a family full of narcissists and marrying one as well. I left after 9 years and a child and I’m no contact with everyone. It was an excruciating rebirth but so worth it. This new me and the amount of self love, discernment and high boundaries I have! Whew, only God.

[@Jenniferarnise]

Im proud of you!

[@theevolvingmindset333]

Good for you. I'm proud of you!!! Your story is similar to mine. No contact with everyone and I've been doing the work.

[@nellcorry8275]

This is so great! I am a white 73 year old woman, psychotherapist for 42 years, still doing ongoing self healing work, had loads of therapy, beginning with Primal therapy- and this podcast is brilliant! So much wisdom and love! Thank you so much!❤❤❤

[@taliad7154]

I never realized how deep my mother wound went until I had my daughter. It’s has been actually healing to grant her grace, patience and shower her with love for the last 3 years. Looking at how happy, independent and confident she already is, lets me know I’m on the right track but it also makes me sad that I wasn’t given the same. So happy I was able to find this video. It’s time I started doing the work on myself.

[@WomenofDandy]

God is truly directing me to heal all my past traumas and allowing me to heal my wounds, I was directed right to your page this morning while I'm staying with my mother during the hurricane in Houston. Lord help me 😭.. thank you for the things you do WE NEED THIS

[@Jenniferarnise]

Sending you lots of hugs and love! I’m so glad you found my channel and are dedicated to the healing work.

[@WomenofDandy]

@@Jenniferarnise that's all I ask for is hugs and love from those who come around me. I will bring myself here every Friday to heal the right way

[@MrsGarcia84]

Im in England its 3.20am in the morning. Had a argument with my 'mother' last night. Cant sleep, was scrolling and came across this. I need inner peace so that no one, especially my mother can shake me emotionally. Im upset that I allowed her to do that again. Im going to have surgery soon and she she shared her disaproval without ask any questions about it.I told her that anything she wouldnt do herself or thinks is wrong she condemns and judges. She got angry and told me thats why she doesnt like talking to me and she ended the conversation. Thank you for this podcast.

[@Jenniferarnise]

You are so welcome. I'm sending you big hugs!!

[@MrsGarcia84]

@@Jenniferarnise Thank you.

[@reighna_]

No one is coming to save you. It’s time to save yourself. -- I felt that, thanks for sharing. Philippians 4:19 NLT [19] And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

[@roaming1996]

I’m so happy the AL showed this, I’ve been looking for black therapists that speak on this topic

[@Jenniferarnise]

I’m glad you’re here! Just for clarification, I’m not a therapist. I am a woman who grew up with a mother wound and learn how to heal it and now I teach other black women how to do the same thing.

[@nursebeauchamp7060]

Grateful black sheep here 🙆🏾‍♀️🙇🏾‍♀️

[@TraciReeder-ej3cd]

Thank you for the topic. ❤ The title alone speaks volumes. My daughter and son hate my guts. As a single mom, if I never received a hug growing up, I didn't understand how to give the affection that was desired by my children. I sent this to my daughter and pray that she hears the message. God Bless❤

[@kathleenharris8824]

Thank you for this. I remember when my mom complimented a friend about something she had that I didn’t. After the: anger, sadness, and feeling betrayed I decided to do something about it. I did the work I needed to accomplish it. I said positive affirmations about it and it’s coming true. I subscribed.

[@Jenniferarnise]

You’re so welcome and I’m proud of you!

[@charmainejohnson3745]

As a expecting new mother to be…this was so needed

[@annecoleman5502]

Jennifer, I have just found you by sheer “chance” today and I am blown away by your words. This talk has been so powerful for me, and I have been in tears listening to you-to find someone who not only knows how it feels to carry this burden but also how we can work to make positive changes in our lives and to let go of the devastating impact of the past. I am 63 years old and I have never felt “normal” like other people, I have always been very anxious and had very low self esteem or self worth. I am going to listen to your podcast talks from the beginning and do whatever it takes to finally shed the past and become empowered and happy. I can’t thank you enough, you are amazing!! 🌈🌻

[@raventhissel]

Your podcast is 🔥

[@Jenniferarnise]

Thank you!❤

[@deviousjones3046]

Thank you, Jesus, and thank Jennifer! You have a lot of Christian women listening to you right now! God is so good!

[@kellirossnicole]

This is so good. Healing is hard but we have to think anything worthwhile is worth fighting for. We deserve to be healed & whole because our next generations deserve better. It's not just about us but about our lineage. Thank yoy so much Jennifer!!!... 😊❤

[@kayjay7827]

I sooop needed this! I am ready to FULLY heal. It is urgent and long overdue. Thanks for being a blessing!

[@Jenniferarnise]

It’s time!!

[@tsakaneemilyraphiri2283]

So beautifully said! This is hardly said but I am patiently parenting myself and only over 30yrs I'm unapologetically kind to myself more today than ever! Sending healing to all beautiful Queens.

[@RenewingYOURYOUTHFAITHFILMS]

Thanks for giving words of hope. My Mother died when I was 6 years old; somethings are a challenge for me. I appreciate having a coach from my bank helping me be more disciplined. So glad you encourage us.

[@dwaynewashington9683]

I’m a man..and I absolutely love this…I found this video very helpful….thank you 🫂

[@Jenniferarnise]

I’m so glad to see you here! I believe this information is valuable for men and women who’ve had similar experiences.

[@omarikirkland4986]

Fr

[@jocelynwilliams8691]

I am so glad ur back. I missed listening to you and getting it for real. So glad ur back

[@kurtty9112]

Facts

[@ImJustSayingBTW]

❤🙏🏾

[@bcdgemini]

100% connect to your words, like I'm seriously living in these words! I started therapy last year and grew past a lifetime of really toxic self talk. I'm now getting divorced from a toxic marriage and making an exciting life plan. This is all so true, doing the work - I'm talking Buddhist books, weekly therapy, gardening, working less, reconnecting with good friends and making time outdoors and me time a priority. Thank you for speaking on this!

[@veronicasawyer1965]

Thank you so much for having these needful discussions. I was an alcoholic and drug addict for years dealing with the wounds done to me by my mother. I now have 3 1/2 years sober to God be the glory, but it took work to get here and work to maintain. I like the idea of reparenting yourself. I think this is a assertive way to give yourself those virtues you didn't get growing up..ie; patience, acceptance, mercy, tolerance, love etc. Who better to give it than yourself...we deserve it..I deserve it! I look forward to your next podcast. I'm getting a lot from it. I can work this along with my 12 step program. One day at a time...thanks so much!❤❤❤❤😊

[@simplylethia]

So much of this resonates with me, I’ve been on my healing journey for 1 year. Im very happy I found this channel ❤

[@Envlo]

So glad you mentioned the need to do the work. It’s hard. I went through it. I did deep therapy with a therapist and completely opened up my trauma. It’s heavy lifting and hard. Many people do not know how to implement change. They will read all the books, go to therapy, watch all the podcasts, call into radio and podcast lives, do all the journaling- but will not take not a single step forward. I had to set alarms on my phone to remind me to practice gratitude. Every 2 hours while awake “P&G” would pop up on my phone which only I knew meant Prayer & Gratitude. I would stop and say a quick thankful prayer and name 1 thing I’m grateful for. I was so negative and deep in my hurt half the time I couldn’t even thinking anything but will force myself and say something lane like “I’m grateful for….my clothes that smell like Downy”. Slowly but surely I became better at recognizing the things to be grateful for. I made missions like “today I’m going compliment someone”, “today I’m going to text someone and ask how they are doing”. You have to do the actions and stop wishing upon a star to be different.

[@bronzy6541]

Healing does come with feeling loneliness. I felt that.❤

[@swedmerson90]

The first 8 minutes of this video I was like, is she me, has she been reading my journals, has she been living my life the past 28 years because you described me to a T. People always say "do the work, do the work" I get stuck because what the hell is the work? I don't even really know what that means 😅

[@Jenniferarnise]

I hope you keep listening to the episodes and go back and listen to old episodes so you can really know what the work is because it is your responsibility to do it. And of course I’m always here to help and support.❤

[@la6136]

The work comes down to developing self love, trusting your own thoughts and intuition above everyone else's opinions and working through self limiting beliefs that are holding you back.

[@chipashamoyo6435]

​@@la6136well well put nicely and concise 💯

[@balvigar7760]

First time here. Valuable information on how to begin working on ourselves. I'll be watching all your videos.

[@38Nakshatra83]

Real talk!! The fact of you incorporating the realness with the curse words makes you unapologetically and authentic in your message! New subbie!

[@tangerinenix5081]

Same!

[@Jenniferarnise]

I can't be nobody but me lol!! shame used to make me believe I was wrong but healing brought so much freedom. We're changing the face of what's acceptable. Im glad you're here!

[@bronzy6541]

I was just thinking that! I appreciate the cuss words.❤ not pretending to be politically correct.

[@barbm762]

WoW!! You've included all ethnicities, genders, cultures - everything that divides us & what makes us totally human. Thank you!

[@quartz3604]

I am a white woman, 46 years old, and I have found SO much value in not only what you are saying, but how you are saying it. Thank you for all your hard work, and sharing it with the world!

[@seraiahdaniella3755]

Hi, I just came across your podcast and have subscribed. Thank you. Around a year ago or so I asked my mother how her mother grew up. My grandmother was "taken" (kidnapped?) from her mother by her father and made to live with him and his wife with their children in their village. My grandmother was not allowed to learn to read, while the other children got their education. It just occurred to me while watching your podcast that she was probably the product of an affair. I don't know if my grandmother was ever reunited with her mother. My mother lost her mother at the age of 16. My grandparents weren't married. My grandfather had lots of mistresses, and lots of kids. So the mother wound that I have, and am working on healing, has long roots. I've been doing inner work for years but the "mother wound" only recently became obvious to me. I'm grateful for your channel which speaks exclusively on this. Thank you.

[@vaniaswain8939]

This message is so timely for me! I’ve been healing from mother and father wounds for a long time and I appreciate your directness and instructions on how to leap further in my healing journey. The triggers are real! But, the healing process is worth it!! Thank you for your guidance! ❤

[@yayayummi]

Thank you for this community!!!

[@Jenniferarnise]

It’s top tier and we are all in this together!

[@RainNorrisSoftwareDeveloper]

Dope profile picture.

[@jazzeclectikk]

Wow I’m not sure why this was recommended to me but I’ve spent the last 2 hours at work binging your content. Thank you so very much for what you do. A lot of what’s been said is very validating. As you stated, it’s not our fault but it’s our responsibility to start taking the steps towards healing ourselves. Sending you much love and appreciation ❤ -a black girl with a mother wound in healing

[@RitaRi83]

I almost died trying to heal with my mom! She doesn’t forgive herself and she took everything I did as if I was attacking her. Then she would attack me. After that I decided to go on this healing journey alone with me and God. It’s definitely a generational issue and I was chosen to break it. I’m being more tender and patient with myself.

[@bree.8827]

Another Generational curse breaker here! I feel you girl! We didn’t want this power but we got it and are going to break barriers! ❤ sending you all the healing love!

[@RitaRi83]

@@bree.8827 Thank you love 💕🫶🏽

[@TITA-n-Dimsum]

Great video with wonderful advice! Let’s see… quick summary and punctuation rules bypassed: My parents separated when I was 2, father had full custody & my mother only saw me sporadically despite living less than 2hrs away in same state. Many reasons, including her not showing interest, but also my father not allowing her because she kept me once and registered me for school instead of returning me at the rendezvous spot. Anyway. By the time I was about 15, I moved to TN (now 17hrs away). But I was the one reaching out to her (sporadically). was vocal to my Gma that I felt no emotional ties to her & only called her “mom” because everyone else expected me to. I would go 3-4yrs without reaching out when she’d sabotage the decent relationship we were building. Oh! Didnt know until late teens that my parents remained married until I was 10yrs old! 🤦🏽‍♀️ by 22 I was married with a daughter of my own who she’d met once. we still had off and on relationship, but I accepted her as a product of her environment… someone who grew up with generations of un-nurturing women, left their children with their mothers. her own unhealed mother wound was due to just that, but by the time her mother decided to take over, she was nearly grown & had become hyper independent… the other kids were still young and weren’t as bothered by her late arrival! Anyway. By 30, I was divorced mother of 2… now out of the military & officially no longer speaking to her. Finally accepting her only purpose was to get me here, not participate in my life nor that of my children (can’t sit in my audience). Final straw… Despite her having multiple strokes and open heart surgery in my mid 20s (me and my family drove some hrs & visited her in the hospital night before and stayed up to a week after), she had the audacity to say, “B*tch, I will outlive you” during a disagreement! 😮 Typically, “parents” claim they’d never want to outlive a child, but she told me that she too had no motherly tie to me. Ah… I also found my mother’s father she’d never met after she asked me to. She was a preacher’s kid through her stepfather, but finally wanted to meet her biological father who was in the Army and divorced her mother when she was young. -For years I did cold-calls off and on like Antwon Fisher, until one Christmas Eve my first cousin hit me back on Facebook saying his father (her brother she’d never met) wanted to talk to me! -one of the Best gifts an adult child could give, and she says, “what do you want… a ticket tape parade?!” 😅. I can laugh about that now, but It was unreal at the time! So yup. I’ve had to learn to console and nurture myself through things I wouldn’t want any young girl to experience!

[@User-Godisgoid]

So glad the Lord brought me to this channel. ❤

[@Ninix3andcounting]

Thank you! I’ve been doing the work, in fact I ended up writing a book (fiction) that comes out in a month or so that helped me on my journey. It’s a slog for sure, three steps forward and two steps back, but at least I am a step ahead of where I was. Acknowledging the small victories is spot on- I didn’t murder anyone today, yay! I have found that when I’m feeling the lowest, smiling at strangers or giving someone grace in line at Target helps return the positive energy that I desperately need. Small wins, small graces, small steps forward helps to fill the holes in my heart. You are right, nobody will come save us. Once we recognize that it’s the broken parts that makes us strong, we begin to heal. Thanks for your important work! ❤️

[@atx4u26]

I know my weakness now. I always seem to find pod cast like this while in different phases in my life, while I'm 3/4 into doing the work. It came to me naturally & This is confirmation that I'm in right direction. I'm shaking at this point, bc our story is way too familiar. I'm on my way now to my psychiatrist. My only out let. I mange to work 4 days instead of 5. That's how desperate my job was & still is. Thursdays are my healing day to the thousand degree Thank you for making me motivated and seen. I was 7 or 8 when 1st karate kid came out😉

[@scentedsoullulu]

You are a breath of fresh air! This whole video resonates with me. From job hopping to not trusting myself, lacking close female relationships, being super bad with money, and having low confidence, you touched on so many valid points. All I could do was nod and feel validated. I LOVE your videos-they help me so much. I can't stress that enough. Thank you so much!

[@tiaturnbullchampionscoachi9587]

Oh my gosh, You are hitting all the right places. You are so amazing. I have read and listened to self help for years and how you flow in the truth, the needs, what's necessary to know is just incredibly fantastic. Thank you! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Sending you lots of love!

[@CeleXyToles]

Thank you for allowing yourself to be the filter for me to listen to me. You put all the scrambled thoughts in my head into a transformational teaching. Ive learned that when I hear information that aligns with me, it me getting my attention through you💚💚💚

[@lisakeplinger2893]

Thank you for your timely words. Your message is so clear of having to do the work. Its simple but its challenging. None of us are perfect but when we're working on being better everyone around you can feel it. Your effort matters. You matter. You deserve to be happy and healthy.❤❤❤❤

[@Gsgliving]

Jennifer…. ❤ The conversation I didn’t know I needed TOdAy, you popped up when I opened YT. Thank you for doing the WORK. Learning, Earning and Returning through sweet conversation. You’re a breath of fresh air, everything you said was on point. So pure, so positive, so REAL. Thank you for sharing. We RiSE Together. I love you too. siSTARS.✨ Keep Shinning. ✨

[@donnapowell4112]

I loved this advice and I am going to put it into practice thank you I'm feeling inspired. Hearing you describe how to meet my needs has given me just what I needed to hear and understand right now in my life . I appreciate your openness and sending you an abundance of universal blessings ❤

[@Dee8Bee]

True.. have had many battles in my life. Sometimes I thought I won’t survive and it is so hard. But I’m still standing and I’m glad I had the strength to push through. So it will be the same with this mother wound. I will survive this battle and be healed.

[@sage.anniex]

This is so beautiful to find on my lunch break looking forward to much more from you 😊

[@sierranapeh8384]

I was lost with no one really understanding what I was feeling from the healing from my mother's trauma. thank you for helping me. I now feel heard and understood

[@jeanniegichigi2765]

I have struggled all my life with what i did not innerstand...and the universe knew i was now ready for this and popped the suggestion..Black mother wound...and Jennifer you were the first and am sticking with you till i heal...I cry n laugh at the same time. I LOVE YOU TOO N THANK YOU UNIVERSE FOR HEARING MY CRY!

[@AriLoves723]

When you started cussing . I opened my blinds to my office cleared off my desk started rolling up and i listened REAL good . Lol!

[@zajavu]

Omg the part about not feeling trusted- yes. Now I’m fickle, anxious and lack executive decision-making skills. Also I am very critical and hard on myself, due to not receiving a lot of patience and grace growing up. And WOW the bit about not feeling like I even exist, due to not feeling seen/ understood/ accepted. Whew. I’ve been perpetuating all of these wounds with how I treat/ perceive myself. I’m working on these things but I am so grateful to have someone unpack this outloud. You’re amazing, thank you. 👉🏾

[@Someoneswildestdreams]

Thank you to the spirit of the living God that brought me here. First video I have seen from this podcast and it hit the nail on the head. I am in the process of re-parenting myself and releasing toxic behaviors. Having a relationship with my mother in adulthood has also been a complete different experience since the one from my upbringing, so this is perfect for me! Gratitude to you Jenifer Anise.

[@arlownoelTV]

My mom and I both are currently healing from our respective mothers together 💕 thank you for this

[@lianneobbink2937]

You just gave me so much more understanding: This selfparenting has to become a reality, and i need to create this for myself step by step everyday. And the patience you talk about, i'm so gratefull i am in this proces of learning and just like in AA, i can start over again every day. Today ive been so angry and frustrated with myself, but you remind me to be kind and to help myself move foreward instead of fight against myself or push myself so hard. Thank you for this message!

[@marlyjeudy2235]

New subscriber! Time ALONE is key. MONTHS! ! If you can sit in it Alone, yo u begin to build courage, self pride and more confidence. Never give up on yourself! You are Love, you are Accepted, you are a whole person seperate from your Mother! ...Go build your life as you want it to be! Many of us are out here with you cheering you on

[@cb4664]

And you can hear God’s voice and your own once you silence everyone else’s. I do this when making big life decisions. I want to make sure I’m not absorbing other peoples opinions but able to authentically determine what’s best for ME. ❤

[@marlyjeudy2235]

@@cb4664 Grateful for your comment and this community I am. Living in Gratitude today and everyday.

[@sonjawells]

I am so grateful and thankful to have found your channel.🙋🏾‍♀️

[@michellevasquez8853]

As soon as you said you were checking to see if behaviors aligned with outcomes, I subscribed! This is such a needed discussion for me. Thank you!❤

[@Jenniferarnise]

You're so welcome!

[@shehopeful]

The title peaked my curiosity. Then u started speaking & WOOAHHH!! Excuse me- I’m not the only one?? I’m still a bit protective of her even though she’s in Heaven. But I’m here doing the work/damage control. I am the priority & I’m healing!! New subbie❤

[@carmenortizfeatherstone8034]

Thank You for speaking to my soul! 😢❤ I have share this with my sisters and my daughters. God Bless you and please continue the journey 🙏🏾 ❤️ so many of us need this real talk.

[@Princess.Dee01]

I needed every single. Word. You spoke. Thank you Queen. These 20 something’s been tearing me up and I needed to hear do the work to see change. 💯

[@LB-mw8is]

Thank you, my mom passed a few years ago and we were not speaking, which was not uncommon,but once she left this earth it's like I was her I could see how much damage was done and how I had picked up the torch all along. Becoming the very thing I despised. I would feel massive guilt for not knowing her story and maybe not bringing a better daughter because they did feed me and clothe me... my family would say we had it good. I'm learning to set boundaries and take care of me and mine. Thank you for confirming it's OK to tend to myself.

[@hpadams7361]

This entire video spoke to me. Felt this through my soul. Cried ugly tears. Thank you for your content.

[@indiasurgeon1487]

Please do the work. It truly is the only way.

[@Jenniferarnise]

The only way

[@naturalctx]

Exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. Thank you for the insight to parent that child! The hot tears of release have already started flowing.

[@leslyegrace1380]

Lord Jesus thank you for leading me here❤

[@macmomma8283]

Thank you sister ❤ I had an epiphany of needing to give myself what i wished i would have received from my mother because i have been spiraling for years with bad habits and relationships. This was a on time message. Thank you much ❤❤❤

[@maryshannon262]

After decades of work- this explanation of HOW to Love yourself, has all the puzzle pieces falling into place😮 Recognising and honouring my feelings / gut instincts/ intuition and putting my needs first,- is self- care and self- responsibility. It's turning my 'trained child' who was responsible for adults feelings and putting them first- on her head.🙃 Self- love is NOT selfishness. New guilt- free boundaries 🎉 WOW! Thanks, Jennifer❤ Go Me!!😊

[@anaw2702]

Omg you are so good!! This almost made me cry so many times! I've been on the healing journey for 15 years now, but even still, this really spoke to me. What a gift you have to share the message and motivate. Thank you!!

[@ThatGirlAimee]

Wow. Every word resonated with me. I’ve never been more moved by a podcast than I was by this one.

[@mals6386]

I came across this video and instantly knew I had to listen. Im surely grateful I did! It really made me see the areas within myself that needed and still needs healing. As a former foster child it def puts more into perspective as well. Im eager to listen to the previous ones also. Thanks so much for shedding the light on this topic🙏🏽

[@B89Stranger]

I don’t know what to even say to emphasize how spot on the wisdom in this video is. Oh my God

[@HeyJoEllen]

This is good. Needed this. - anxiety with taking care of myself (whew!!!) - under performer - bad money management because of the anxiety 😥

[@cloudsog123]

So much wisdom, I thank God for finding you❤️ Knowing that such a strong confident woman has gone through what i’ve been through reminds me that imma be good. i’m going to keep putting in the work 💪🏾❤️