[Ep. 119] The Myth of Normal w/ Daniel Maté

Luis welcomes Daniel Maté to the podcast to speak about the book he co-authored with his dad, Gabor Mate, titled The Myth Of Normal.
They speak about:
how writing the book invited repair for Gabor's and Daniel's relationship
how Daniel practices uncoupling to have a good relationship with his father
how identity and behavior or two different things
how personality is often born from a traumatic imprint
For more on Daniel's work, please visit: www.walkwithda...

[@ashley5627]

I can’t believe you brought Daniel Mate on! How wonderful! More people need to be exposed to his experience and the wisdom he gathered on the path. AND he quoted Bjork!!! Im grateful to listen to this conversation today. ❤🙏

[@hppybnstr537]

Another mind blowing conversation! By the end I'm feeling excited agitation in my solar plexus which rises to a stinging in my eyes, and a little overflowing . The intelligence, authenticity, openness and wisdom that shines forth from Daniel is so gratifying--as in, I'm so grateful for this. Thank you, Luis and Daniel.

[@elvisiscat]

Daniel mentioned you highly in an interview (on Moneyless Society I think it was) & I came here b/c of that, to hear Daniel (whom I follow & has helped me in such depth on my path), and I also subscribed here as a result. Look forward to viewing more of your content, and so hope you’ll have Daniel back on (& Gabor & Aaron Maté) very soon as he has so much more therapeutic wisdom to offer, especially now in our post-10/7 world where I and so many have felt beaten up by.

[@holisticlifenavigation]

I am looking forward to bringing him (and them) on again for sure. Thanks for coming here. You might want to check out this recent conversation and session we did a few months back: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sJiYh6Kug5WZpKc

[@elvisiscat]

@@holisticlifenavigation Oh wow, thank you! Just clicked on to watch it. It’s funny, I actually saw a piece of that video at some point after it was posted, while doing a search for other Daniel posts, and I “liked” it as well as a couple of the comments on there, but I couldn’t view the whole video at the time so I put it on my list to come back to, and here we are. :) Had no idea it was your channel.

[@malonecloitre7851]

that was an amazing conversation. I am currently in the 6 week course with Luis and it solidified everything we have been covering. Thank you both

[@incognito3620]

The Myth of Normal is the first book on psychology and healing that was accessible- to me. Much of the psycho-babble one has to decipher was assent. And the book would offer an explain what was just said. Or an example was offered for clarification. It should be read by everyone. I have read some Jung and Freud and always felt I was having to do catch-up, I had one eye on the text and one eye on the dictionary. This book seemed so clear and concise and in lay terminology. In the process I saw much of the self healing I have done in my life was in the right direction. My self cognition is heightened and I have dealt with childhood trauma well. Thank you both for this life changing volume. I am onto ‘When the body says No.”

[@176vrod]

What a beautiful conversation!

[@isabellekeyzer]

i'm really enjoying listening to the clarity of Daniel 's expression. i think he certainly has as much to offer the world as his dad, be it different topics. I would also like to know what the prescription is he talks about around the 41 min mark, to help regulate highs and lows

[@elisabethgabauer]

I can be an artist and a therapist too… love this:)❤

[@barbaragood7844]

Thank you 🌼

[@ivaveazey9631]

Oooo this is truly helpful, you are right Luis. I've never heard "Under blame is shouldn't". That certainly runs deep. The idea that Daniel says he never invented anything (was invented the word he used? - an excuse to watch this again) he noted that he created Mental Chiropractic and says but he "just made that up". A reminder that anything,- words, health practices, airplanes... in it's early stages is just made up by someone- whether by chance or deliberate efforts. Daniel, you have the same first name as the" inventor" of Chiropractic, but I'm guessing you already knew that. Must get this book!!!

[@akasha11111]

Hi! In almost every podcast or workshop Gabor Maté would ask someone: when was the last time you felt anger? The person describes that situation and Gabor asks: how does it make you feel? In other words: what does it mean about you? Then he would challenge that perception with other possible explanations of what happened. Finally Gabor would ask when was the first time you had this perception of not being good enough, coming from childhood. Maté says your brain jumped automatically to that explanation/perception. So it seems to me that Gabor Maté considers a trigger as a top-down approach where thoughts create an emotion, when in fact it’s stored material which comes up first (that was once in the past created by a perception). Gabor explores other explanations, so questioning the belief, but it’s stored material (that was once created by a perception, but that already happened before). Now it’s already in the body, so isn’t that what you work with? (bottom-up approach of Somatic Experiencing)

[@incognito3620]

Daniel and Louis would it be more accurate to say “ I was a survivor” instead of “ I am a survivor?

[@poeticprose-t7l]

I am wondering, that story of blame, although through many rites of passages one can realize, that it is potentially unproductive and ungenerative, but for someone who is immediately caught in in the initial stages may fully experience the power of the blame story and live it, fully feeling it in their hearts. As stories develop, as we transmutate, add, or enhance our stories in richer, and more contextualized ways (hopefully...i.e., story of blame sheds its potency and story of non-attachment develops), I wonder in my life how I may be able to make space for my close ones for any types of stories they may hold...be it a story of blame or guilt, or be it a story of other types. That is, can we allow, make space, and become radically generous for stories for all potent emotions, as we witness ourselves and others land and feel themselves out on different narratological terrains, and find their own wisdoms as they leave one to the next, or stay...whatever motions/non-motions we may be honored to witness.... Perhaps what we could do as we witness each other's journey, or the best we could do, is to let each other be aware of the expansiveness of the map/territorial variety -- our story is not limited to a dearth/death of story modes, but an invitingness to many many narratives and word kins. this is just a long comment/reflection on what this conversation has sparked in me. I loved the point Luis made about the move from focusing on "what am I? to where am I?" such a powerful one. It ruptures the individual from seeing oneself strictly within the shadow lines of one's figure, into integrating the environmental nowness, the contextual and relational matrices in which our bodies are located, at this very moment, which no longer is there and then (i.e., a specific traumatic past event). This can be incredibly liberating. Though my monkey mind leads me to think... wait, is that always, a non-conditionally good thing? To always focus on the present--the kind of presentism, if you will--to put this moment on a higher pedestal than others? The ability for me to live/or focus in the past, as self-defeating and unhelpful at times, has served me in ways that were, in their strange and peculiar ways, creative and life-affirming--a dizzying experience of time, that lead me to experience the sour-sweetness of its liminal beauty. Same with the future. As our attention shifts to these arrays and spectrums of times, as we traverse what is temporally possible for us, we can find our creativities, our encounters with... the duende... the guards/threshold energies of our human/spiritual sensorium.... All this is to say, these are my own loops of conversation, as I ensoil myself into this fertile ground of wisdoms and insights, as you two have opened up. Thank you to you two!

[@cherryramirez6113]

He's so handsome 🥰