Ep 18 | Why you're ADDICTED to Avoidants | Lydia KM

[@Sheil.a3]

Hi Flo🤗 The way I have rushed here after seeing Lydia💃. Lakini Flo last episode it was unemployment halafu today I am reminded I am a dismissive avoidant. I am an unemployed dismissive avoidant ... Bruh😂

[@FloandFrens]

Unemployed and no friends? Look at it as freedom, nothing's holding us back 😂

[@willo_macharia]

Lmao! This comment made me laugh. 😂

[@FloandFrens]

@@willo_macharia ik 📌😂

[@zipporahngugi607]

I can tell you for a fact..I love this conversation..it has changed my perception .I am a whole new person ❤thank you flo

[@KimoraLee-g1b]

You literally talked about my entire relationship with my ex...we unfortunately broke up because neither of us understood what was happening...but I'm really glad I came across this ...

[@ritahwinnie1839]

What a better time to come across this video. You have just saved my life❤❤

[@felistusmuthoni1208]

This!!!Very enlightening and mind blowing!we need more of this!💯

[@adventureseekerKe..]

I am an Anxious who was engaged to a Narcissist... Thank God I have been in therapy... I noticed all his traits and l left him without even blinking... Therapy helps... I thank God he saved me from getting into that marriage 🙏🏿... I am now in therapy... And the CITAM church counselling ministry really helped me a lot. I thank God I am self aware... Now I am working on learning how to meet my own needs to stop codependency and I am healing from my childhood trauma... I have been running away from my trauma and finally I am having the courage now... And finally I am learning to love and accept my inner child ... Healing will always be a continuous process in my life. I love my life just being compassionate to myself.

[@michelleadhiambo4861]

This was a beautiful conversation. So full of insights and the two of you are so knowledgeable OMG☺

[@FloandFrens]

Ty Michelle! 🥰

[@daisyskitchen_uganda]

This is timely and insightful❤ Thank so much ladies🎉

[@mercy7857]

This was so insightful ladies! I could listen to Lyd talk all day😅❤️

[@FloandFrens]

Tysm! Lydia was amazing! Thrilled you enjoyed it 💜

[@FaizahDailyStudent]

This is a very spiritual conversation. Love flo calmness

[@FloandFrens]

Tysm 💞

[@violetsifuma4608]

I'm always ready to walk out no matter how deeply i feel about someone. I'm a flight risks😂😂

[@FloandFrens]

If the relationship is toxic, by all means you should!

[@shishi9252]

I totally loveeeeeeddddd this conversation!!!! Super duper insightful. More of these conversations... Please invite her back 😢

[@FloandFrens]

Ty 🥹 I will have her back 😌

[@Almosteverything..]

Anxious dating an avoidant, learned so many things from this episode

[@katewangechi4087]

I took a test realised am fearful avoidant thought it's the worst thing but this conversation has helped realised it's not a bad thing....Thank you so much Flo and Lydiah

[@FloandFrens]

No it really isn't that bad, what sucks is if one decides not to change. I'm mostly secure now from being an FA 😌💕

[@wendyadhiambo4701]

This triggered me so much😭😭😭 As an anxious being with an avoidant in a situationship will ruin you, don't do it.

[@FloandFrens]

You're right! Run away like your life depends on it 😭

[@maxinekristine]

Being on that but am glad this morning I have learnt alot

[@NgugiThairu-j3e]

Great self improvement and highly informative

[@FloandFrens]

Ty dad!

[@andisiwegogo3848]

Loved these conversations, I just took some test on this and is giving fearful avoidant. ☺

[@OliviaAmbani]

Great conversation!

[@FloandFrens]

Tysm!

[@misskanda2976]

Very insightful.....I loved and enjoyed the conversation all through

[@FloandFrens]

Tysm! 🫰🏽

[@wanjikurk]

I really enjoyed this conversation and how insightful it was. Keep SOARING Flo

[@FloandFrens]

Thank you 🥹

[@Bre-mx3vl]

Different people bring out different sides of us if you feel anxious in a relationship you’re probably chasing someone that isn’t that interested in you

[@liyaahnjuguna8999]

I agree different people bring out different attachment styles

[@FloandFrens]

Absolutely 💯

[@annmwai79]

I'm all smiles. I came across this.looved it!

[@FloandFrens]

Ty Anne ☺️

[@JMandy]

I feel like Flo was trying to articulate some reasons to empathize and redeem avoidants but not getting as much airtime/ space to do it, which was abit frustrating but I still always love Lydia’s (many) words- she is so wise. As for Flo, I wanted to tell you I married an avoidant as an anxious myself and 4 years later we are both secure. I consider him a very intelligent man who is able to understand and restrain his natural impulses. Both of us are learners of life, it’s all about what Lyd was saying - excellent communication, improvement over time, sincere apologies (kwanza apologies is a big one)…

[@missinjairu1448]

Love this💯

[@willo_macharia]

Fearful, avoidant, and anxious. How am I all of them?!😂 I think different people bring different out of us. I trip real quick. If I get attached and the other person begins to withdraw, I get a breakdown first. I don't know how to detach all at once. Ps: Narcissists are gaslighters, worse than Ruto! You guys are so on point.

[@FloandFrens]

So interesting, you give secure tho 😌No ones worse than Zakayo! 😂 #rutomustgo

[@Shazfinds]

Lemmi just say ...my mind is blown ❕❕❕

[@justme-yj6ck]

I have just learnt I am am anxious preoccupied wuueh

[@gombeian]

avoidant, anxious, and narcissist are all words we use to describe behavior in any relationship. avoidant to describe independent people who growing up learned to rely on themselves because they found out people are not dependable including parents. anxious to describe feelings of being unlovable and not knowing why and constantly seeking reassurance because growing up people or even your parents didn't understand you or love you like you needed. narcissist to describe people who use people as tools for validation, success, or status, without concern for their feelings. the point is these are behavior patterns that we act out in relationships, to preserve ourselves, although we use these words to tag people who hurt us we should instead use them to understand behavior to help us build stronger relationships for people we really care about and don't blame parents too much we can all share the blame.

[@FloandFrens]

Well said 🙌🏽

[@willo_macharia]

Flo! i love your jeans! plug us. Love this topic, now let me dive in the content!

[@FloandFrens]

Willowwww! Ty 💕 There's a pair waiting for you, remember 😏

[@JOYCEWANGECHI-hh5qs]

Omg wat a conversation 👏

[@HerJourneyJournal]

I am 80% anxious and 15% mild avoidant and the 5% is a li'l confusing. Also, I could be so in love but when my mind says stop, I don't look back and someone would think I did not love them. My detachment is game 100%. I don't even know how to explain myself anymore . Sometimes I could get into a relationship with someone knowing very well this is temporally and inconsistent but I will still get attached 😂 So confusing please help.

[@FloandFrens]

You said "You can't explain yourself anymore" 😂😂

[@HerJourneyJournal]

@ Scary, right?🤦‍♀️

[@joy6412-]

37:37 😂 watching this as an anxious attachment who just ended a situationship with a fearful avoidant 😂 #growth

[@lucynduta6272]

I love Lydia

[@FaizahDailyStudent]

I did even know there are such things

[@veechebet8952]

Anxious 😂here.....ended the relationship while waiting to be chased😌💔

[@esthermutahi2811]

😂😂😂😂 This is like saving yourself from them 😂😂😂😂

[@PerpetuaChomba-Therapist]

However ,Narcissists have avoidant or disorganized (fearful avoidant ) attachment ,but not all avoidants are narcissists 50% empaths 50% narcissists , narcissists their intention is to harm and hurt you while protecting their selfish gains its on a different spectrum in Psychology ...learn to.understand both ..self awarenss is key never date without understanding covert narcissism abeg

[@FloandFrens]

Very well put! I hope we weren't too far off seeing you're a therapist 🙈☺️

[@PerpetuaChomba-Therapist]

@FloandFrens you did an amazing job my darlings ,i actually listened to the whole video , yes i am a therapist work mostly with narcissism and trauma but you did amazing 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗♥

[@FloandFrens]

@@PerpetuaChomba-Therapist Thank you!! 🥰

[@winniewambui7423]

Fearful avoidant also

[@irenenjeri8720]

Mhhhh people make assumptions...I sincerely don't care, they are the ones that seek attention meanwhile am so busy.

[@aimeeguilaine9057]

Tbh that’s hurtful especially towards someone with who you want to built something you know

[@debbyshiru6665]

😂 anxious asf

[@esthermutahi2811]

That part of one min one is cold and then the other min your warm 2. That part of one min you don't want to see them the next you wanna see them. 3. Christ self- Sabotage in relationships and in a personal settings Christ all this is me

[@viviangathecha9745]

How about there be an avoidant female guest in the pod😶. I'd enjoy that n the comments 😂

[@FloandFrens]

Avoidants really be causing havoc huh 😂

[@cynthia.wambugu111]

Results: Fearful avoidant/ disorganized 🌚🌚🌚

[@FloandFrens]

🌚🌑

[@terry_kaguthi9078]

Me too