ep.34 "Am I Sick Enough For Help?" | AKA

[@aramyengoyan.7325]

Me: *about to go to sleep* Kati: I'mma stop you right there.

[@EmThrives]

It makes me so sad when people talk about "not being sick enough". I'm recovered from an eating disorder and the thoughts don't impact me anymore, but I do work as a pediatric nurse and hearing about young kids' struggling with similar fears and concerns and how invalid they feel in society and in their families breaks my heart. EVERYONE's struggle is valid. Period.

[@christopher22859]

I love what you said about people with bpd because I've just been fucking miserable most of my life but I'm almost done with dbt and my life is so much better but I have elected to repeat the class to get the most out of it. Thank you for the validation it made me feel good.

[@rheamalvi]

I asked the first one and I just wanted to say thank you. For making me feel heard and understood. I might have BPD and you mentioning it made me feel very very validated. I’ve been suicidal for a while now and I reach out for help very often but no one really takes that seriously. This is the first time I’ve felt seriously heard. So thank you.

[@hezziattubeyou]

Thank you for asking that question, I can Identify with the feelings you have been having. Its one of the reasons it took me 2 years to ask my GP for help, and even now, I wonder if they will really help me or just say I'm not bad enough, or my SH cuts aren't deep enough etc. Mental health care in my area is notoriously poor, so i'm apprehensive, but I hope that they help me.

[@Weird_One_]

I feel kind of the same way with sh except for ,e especially when I started doing it more seriously I wasn't sure if I was doing is enough or for a long enough period of time for it to really be a problem.

[@rheamalvi]

@@hezziattubeyou yeah me too:( MH is just not taken very seriously where I am even though there are so many claims stating so. I hope you get better, you’ve got this❤️❤️

[@rheamalvi]

@@Weird_One_ I relate to this so well!! I don’t SH as much but I have done things with suicidal intent. It didn’t reach that far and no one even found out and because of that I never consider it as something serious and traumatizing.

[@itsshai3447]

Kati validating BPD symptoms around the 1 hour 11 min mark just made me burst into tears. No matter how many times she talks about it, how she expresses it in a way we aren’t monsters makes me feel some kind of relief. Thank you. I needed to hear that today.

[@mjarkk]

01:12 Hey Kati!! I beat myself up a lot over not being able to self harm severely. I'm suicidal in my thoughts, but my actio.. 09:32 Hi Kati, how do we actually "process" any emotion/situation? I never know how long to sit with hard emotions, I end up.. 19:12 Hi Kati, have you ever needed to take time to grieve when a client has finished their sessions with you? I know you've.. 24:01 Hi Kati! How can I ask my therapist about a specific disorder without seeming like I'm self-diagnosing? I have done a .. 32:36 Hi Kati! Why do I feel the need to hear from my therapist that I am sick enough and/or that she is worried about me? W.. 40:49 Hey Kati. How do I stop covering my trauma in humour in therapy? In today’s session, I shared a really hard story an.. 47:57 Hi Kati. How is talk therapy possible, when I can't talk about feelings without crying & basically can't talk when I j.. 56:42 Hi Kati! Is it possible to feel worse after therapy? I have recently started working with my psychologist on processin.. 1:01:41 Hey Kati! I was wondering which Personality Disorders are the hardest for you to treat? Or which clients with Personal.. 1:13:44 As someone who has trust issues, how do you find a therapist you trust? The few I've tried recently felt like they wer..

[@mjarkk]

For those interested i got them from here: aka-podcast.mkopenga.com/

[@nikkimckay860]

Mark kopenga. Thanks for the times and titles s of the question s

[@irena1222]

Thank you!

[@Zero_Zilch]

0

[@anonanon7553]

Amazing! Thank you so much

[@rheamalvi]

I know I already love it even though it just came out

[@JeffHynes]

I like how there is no ads with your videos. Thank you!

[@littlesister1211]

45:49 OH WOW! Listening to Kati work through possible scenarios for using humor to deflect trauma literally just made a light switch on in my brain. In Grade 6 I had such a drastic behavior shift, from seriously studious and straight A's to quite literally class clown. Nobody could ever understand what happened and assumed it was just hormones or bad friends. Only now at 35 did i just realize that time lines up directly with some MAJOR life changes! That school year i had to leave my overly attached non-boundry parent to live with the emotionally neglectful one and their abusive partner. It was outta the frying pan and into the fire. Certainly not the first or worst trauma I had, but clearly it was an impactful one! Thank you Kati, for what you do! It's invaluable!

[@Akanchwua]

Thank you for answering my question❤️ (question 2)

[@brittanyglenn3227]

Going off of what you said about abuse being a possible cause of personality disorders… I just did a case presentation on borderline personality disorder, and my professor said it’s also very important to make a differential diagnosis because a lot of clients may be showing symptoms of borderline personality disorder, but their symptoms are also stemmed from trauma. So sometimes, we can misdiagnose BPD, when it’s actually just trauma and we can better help that person by treating the trauma and not the personality disorder :)

[@lisasnoozy3749]

Exactly nailed it about self injury. It’s not a suicide attempt but it’s definitely means I’m hurting a lot and not coping well with something. It’s a last resort for me. At that point I’m self harming my therapist also starts watching for dissociation because that can go hand and hand. Thanks Kati for being clear on that! Take care❤️

[@danieljgore1]

Double-duty advice: humorist & cryer could both use some journaling where they pretend to write to their therapist- then read it in therapy. The words are already there so you don’t have to generate them while you’re sobbing (that takes a lot of energy). For jokers like me, I could read over it before session and recognize when I’m trying too hard to entertain (that’s me!) and try to keep the words frank/direct because I’m writing them when my audience isn’t there. Crying person, you’re our hero! You’re going straight at the topics us jokers are deflecting!

[@lttlod1]

Thank you for talking about self-diagnosis and educating yourself. I feel like I know myself really well and do some research online. I really like my therapist for the most part. However, a month into therapy I brought up childhood emotional neglect and that I resonated with a lot of it. My therapist just stared at me and said nothing so I dropped it. Kinda felt like an idiot for "self-diagnosing." Fast forward 3 months and I bring up some more childhood home life stuff and she says to me, "sounds like emotional neglect." I said yeah, 100%. lol. Maybe she just knows more about my situation now but I felt like she could have started asking me some questions a month in like hey why do you think that? or why did that resonate with you? I dunno. Rubbed me the wrong way : /

[@rosannaien9596]

Happy house hunting! Great podcast, so much good information! You seem like such a good therapist - so understanding and seeing the human and not just seeing a diagnosis.

[@annasophia2005]

Thank you so much for answering my question Kati!!! (#5)

[@cjaykus]

OMG Kati... YES on question #5!! You hit the nail on the head!! Thank you 💝

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati Morton I like your white top with flower s can't Express how glad i am to finally get this new podcast been waiting so been needing to watch and listen to new podcast questions all good questions this week and all important. Last few days has been getting me down and stressed out and had a few anger issues I can now calm down and hopefully relax because you are here now your voice is always calming want to say before I found your channel and started watching these I felt lost without anything for comfort thanks as always ❤

[@megzasaurusrex]

I'm a lot like the 1st person. I have had suicidal ideation and cut. But I hide all that. I have gotten so well at playing the bubbly sales woman/customer service rep. So I feel a lot of time no one believes me, not therpists but people in life, they don't understand how bad it is and how I've been told so long to suck it up and be happy. So its hard for me to let that wall down and be weak.

[@sarah-ez8mp]

I love these podcasts

[@ezratijssen]

this podcast really helps me wind down!! thank you for everything ❤

[@DrummerGrrrl]

Wow, I was certainly squirming uncomfortably when Kati was talking about using humor to deflect one's pain. Big ol' deflector right here. And...I'm cringing thinking about how much I deflected in therapy.

[@stoffls]

Thanks again for this amazing podcast. And good luck at the house hunting!

[@haisesasaki3944]

Thanks Kati ❤️ I can relate to the first and ninth question so badly. Thank you, whoever wrote the ninth question and I hope you get better. I’m diagnosed with a mixed personality disorder (Borderline + Avoidant + Obssessive Compulsive)

[@daydrmrofficial1966]

Man I love when my therapist and I both realize when i'm trying to distract or lead us somewhere else We both kinda smile and realize that this is exactly the thing that I do 😂

[@April__Showers]

I used to practice self injury and true enough it was meant to make it feel more painful than my depressive thoughts. Tho I am happy to say for now, I have not done it in a long time. I hope that for many others too~

[@markjabbour5154]

Hey Kati (and Sean), I love your videos! That said: W/R/T your recent post on IG, your face exhibits = Neuroticism, i.e. worry. If I may diagnose from a distance ... you are a highly open, highly conscientious, highly extroverted, highly agreeable, highly neurotic person ... which is SO rare. Carry on, you and Sean are a joy. Love your videos ...

[@hayhay509]

hearing all this and remembering my therapist telling me i don't need therapy because i wasn't suicidal makes me think there is a lot of therapists out there that just shouldn't be therapists.

[@elizaneja]

Wow i do be loving your sweatshirt😍

[@DrummerGrrrl]

I'm not a "girly" woman at ALL but I agree! That shirt/sweatshirt rocks!

[@elizaneja]

@@DrummerGrrrl same

[@haisesasaki3944]

I can relate so much to the first, second and ninth questions. Thanks Kati! 🥰

[@elizabethbed649]

Good explanation of how BPD feels emotionally. Great podcast, thank you Kati xoxo

[@georgiaaa2686]

Thanks for answering my question ❤️

[@LV03]

Thanks for this episode! 💙

[@RollenJokers]

i understand what your saying and ill try to remain proactive with personal duress. thank you Kati.

[@RollenJokers]

and i will understand the order i give myself impulse to give my self something Again.

[@TheWonggloria]

The feeling that you are not sick enough for help is especially prevalent in Asian areas. I have been suicidal for seven years and every time I bring this up to my counsellor, I feel like no one is taking me seriously, probably because I never made any attempts though I keep refining my suicidal plan. Recently, my situation became so bad that I experience frequent emotional breakdown and serious suicidal tendency that I feel It’s extremely hard for me to go on anymore. I was then diagnosed with mixed personality disorder (Borderline and Obsessive) and dysthymia. I really wish that people in Asian areas can pay more attention to mental health problems so that people like me can get their help as soon as possible.

[@milenaciaramella3524]

I love your videos so so much 💜💜💜

[@1bookfisher335]

Wasn't expecting to cry at your response to the 5th question but here we are, god damn That's something I struggle with... a lot, and tbh haven't really seen anyone else talking about, so I've just felt "crazy" or like a terrible person who's making everything up My thing manifests more as "I need something to be 'wrong' with me," like I WANT a mental illness, I assume as a way of feeling validated? But I'm not entirely sure Either way... I need therapy lol, that hit HARD

[@pamisolester6651]

Good luck with your new house Kati! Hope you find great place you will love and enjoy. In our case it took quite a long time to find “The One” but hope your will cross your way soon ;0)

[@toni2309]

The confidentiality thing you explained is really different than what I have thought. Like for me I have been really scared to mention to people that I even thought about suicide or that I got aggressive when things got really difficult, I didn't have means to communicate and like I've exhausted all other options and it's like a survival mechanism going on. I've always thought that breaking confidentiality when someone is a danger to themselves or others would mean therapists will just put me in closed psychiatry when I tell them that I can't always control myself.

[@LHK26]

Always good to check with your therapist/doctor for a list of reasons they might need to break confidentiality. I was terrified, took me years to tell therapist... But they didn't ever break my confidentiality, never told anyone without my permission. But some places and Therapists/Dr's have different policies and ability to support those who deal with suicidality.

[@toni2309]

@@LHK26 I always thought that this wouldn't help anyway since all explanations of reasons to break confidentiality I have thus heard have been very vague and made me very anxious because that vague answers made me assume the worst that I could imagine within those vague answers. Now I know I can ask for examples, which is helpful to know.

[@LHK26]

Yeah, I needed examples.. To be honest looking back I wish I'd asked for it written down. But as vague as the list was, the reassuring line my therapist gave me was that they would always tell me and ask my permission before breaking the confidentiality. So on the 1 occasion they did call my Dr out of concern for me, they asked me to do it first and then offered to do it for me. Therapist didn't do anything without me agreeing. Didn't call during or right after session but gave me time to decide for myself. I text therapist later and allowed/asked them to do it. They don't want to break your trust, they want you to be able to trust that they have your best interest at heart... Also as my therapist said to me in her opinion sending me to hospital against my will would only have led to me doing it later and not reaching out in the future. But she knew me well.

[@LV03]

Hey! Maybe you could go into the topic of "babycut syndrome"? It's something a lot of people can relate to...

[@EmThrives]

Yes please!

[@DrummerGrrrl]

I am reflecting on that big plant behind you, Kati. It looks like a giant spinach leaf! California sure is weird. Giant spinach! LOL.

[@calebcreationofsound2182]

Hey kati when will you post the next survey? i want to share my questions with you. Thanks for everything you do.

[@navewibowo5126]

I think it's every Monday but not on a specific time

[@socialnetworks8536]

Kati morton, thank you for paying attention to my problem to question 7 Kati morton. Even if you like tried to answer as best as can, I am still not convinced therapy is a safe place to go at all. I still feel like you have not gotten deep into details to know what is safe or not or what can be appropriate to say. I am mentally struggling and not sure if what we say is appropriate to say or not. So what if one of our struggles that we are dealing with that is bothering us is like let us say in your state or in your office it falls under your "caveats". Then would you just tell that client to say everything on their mind or not? or would you just say to the client to mask their concerns if they are not sure what they say in therapy is appropriate or falls in the "caveats"?

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello good evening everyone how are people doing also hello to people I know who iv met and talked to before on last weeks podcast hope people are coping ok though these difficult times

[@tarenleighton9392]

On your house hunting journey, take a notebook, write down the address, the things you really liked and things you disliked about each one. This will help when you have been to 20 places and they all blend together.

[@crimsontuba1]

wait...you tell your clients which weeks are hard weeks? my therapist might give me a 1-2 session heads-up that she's gonna push me...otherwise, she seems to like to catch me off guard...it seems to be the only way she gets past my defenses

[@jfluter]

Hi Kati. Is possible for those who have been abusers or have committed horrific crimes to receive therapy? If so, how is this done in terms of ethics and legalities? From what I have noticed is that we tend to emphasize therapy for who have been abused or traumatized, but never hearing about therapy for those who caused the abuse, trauma, or crime in the first place. Thanks!

[@kaylamckenzie1]

You have no idea how much I needed the reprieve of this podcast this week/today. And when I realized it was up (after a long, hard day) I immediately clicked on the video and yelled out "Ooooh Yeah!" because I am SO excited to watch. Thanks for being an oasis in the desert of my week, Kati.

[@aidis138]

That saying "therapists can't work harder then you" made me think that clients sorta supposed to diagnose themselves. It's like student and teacher: you doing homework and then therapist checking it and then giving you a grade: "oh, yeah, that's correct. it's GAD (or what else)" or "nah, that's not really working. C-. do it again." 25:42 that kinda confirms it. does it make any sense? i hope it doesn't.

[@aidis138]

@Bill Harned Being open... I just imagined situation. Your heart hurts, you going to a doctor and doctor ask you "what's wrong?" And you "uhhh, erm, i won't tell" :D Or "my heel hurt!" and doctor checking it and saying: that's not how it really is, is it? Sit down, D. But i see you aren't doing well, let's try again. I guess what i was saying before i meant in this way. You just explaining what you have and therapist says "oh, this falls under that category".

[@aidis138]

@Bill Harned Sounds kinda like me. Except i don't have therapist and can't say my delusions are subtle and elaborate, but i'm trying... haha.

[@nikkimckay860]

Just want to add another comment because in the podcast kati asked what are people or was people diagnosed with my doctor just diagnosed me with depression and anxiety also social anxiety here I feel comfortable and a safe space to share things like this anyone else if you are ok with can share your thoughts take care all

[@EmThrives]

[@SusieQ78]

We COULD ruminate about it; yes, I did just hear her say that....ummm, no Susan, listen to what Kati said after that lol.

[@quazymodo3648]

I laugh and say bad jokes around trauma because I disociate for all those reasons I know im not meant to laugh but can't stop myself

[@SusieQ78]

As long as your new 🏡 works for your 🐕 🐕, all will be well!!! ....oh and that you and Sean like....oh, and good internet connecting towers close by 😆

[@nikkimckay860]

Hope you see my comment kati 😊

[@ellsworth9430]

kati how do i stop pushing away my GP who i really trust im starting to miss appointments because when i saw her last time i froze in front of her please help me

[@EmThrives]

Do you have any family or friends who. can help keep you accountable? Anyone who could possibly drive you to appointments to make you feel more motivated to go? Or possibly set up a fun self-care treat for afterwords?

[@ellsworth9430]

its more that i am hiding important information from her that she needs to know because i scared its also most of my family doesnt know and i dont want to keep freezing in front of her

[@laurenk5022]

Good luck house hunting! ❤️

[@NiinaSKlove]

🙃😀😄👏🏼👏🏼

[@courtneyp5963]

I have the same mug 😂 my coworkers gave it to me as a birthday gift