Ep. 372 | How to Let Go

The Minimalists talk about letting go, dealing with regrets, New Year’s resolutions, broken family relationships, and the dangers of hope. Watch all 2 hours of episode 372 on The Minimalists Private Podcast: / theminimalists
Discussed in this episode:
00:00 Introduction
04:10 How do we let go of our shame regarding our shortcomings?
11:24 How do we continuously refine our minimalist practices without becoming compulsive?
15:26 What is the “No-Stories Policy”?
18:29 How do we mend a broken relationship when the other person isn’t interested in fixing it?
#TheMinimalists

[@TheMinimalistsPodcast]

What is one thing you want to let go this year?

[@la_baby_khalil7703]

Clutter, it's difficult with ADHD sort of confusing!!! I wanna have unstoppable ENERGY...🙏😔🙏

[@sarahlockridge7879]

The younger version of my children; especially my son. He is now 18. Today I watched videos for the first time of him when he was younger. All day I've been grieving the child and I keep thinking about my aunt and uncle who lost my cousin and keep thinking I cant even imagine losing my son! I have avoided watching videos of him because it gets me in my feelings. I have regrets and it's just hard to let go of the past. The what ifs. I wish I was a better parent. I wish I would have been healthier mentally. I wish this ..I wish that. Etc.

[@jsavannah123]

My ex

[@aDadwhoCares]

Probably my ex. Trying to get back together but she blows up every time. I probably just need to move on

[@anitag3306]

The one thing I desire to let go of this year is the extra 15 pounds that I have accumulated to shield my heart from grief and loss... Geez..the joy of living, loving, and healing.✨️

[@javelinaflips-annie5000]

Most of my possessions… I lost my husband 6 months ago and I am moving out of the country next spring. Goodbye pointless luxury items and cars. Hello new beginning in a place where people value relationships more than they value stuff.

[@kalbertdr]

I know what I want to let go of. I have been married to him for thirty years. We shared self imposed hard times together. He has been somewhat abusive. It is extremely difficult to let go of a trauma bond. Thank you for encouraging me!🕊️on🌏

[@kamarbazarek6460]

Hey Grrrrrl, Meee too!!! I’m 67 yrs old. I’m knee deep in 45 yrs of crap. I’m gonna move in 6 days.... taking only what I value & need. I’ve got over 50 garbage bags to fill. ( In 6 days I’m homeless - kicked deadbeat roomies out, they left me & my senior sweet Puppers. ) they paid movers to leave the state & move elsewhere. I’m here struggling - with the logistics and reality of becoming homeless - in my retirement years. In 9 days I have to put my BEST FRIEND down ( he came into my life -2 days after I was diagnosed with breast cancer.... the owner was going to put him down. I said NO, there’s someone for everyone! He’s coming home with me tonight! It’s been 5 surgeries later. - 15 yrs as MY BEST FRIEND. ( He was 2 yrs old when He came into my home). We are celebrating together, eating Christmas Turkey & fixings, pizza tommorrow. And whatever he wants on the menu. We cuddle & share the blankets and watch movies... I’m already trying to deal with the guilt & feelings of failure..... A new chapter.... I ask myself - just HOW MANY times do I have to “reinvent myself”? I’m renting a small studio - ( on fixed income ), pets not allowed😢😢😢😢😢😢 I wish you A Healthy & Happy New Year.... May it bring us both - Contentment & Ease & Joy.

[@GraeMatterz]

@@kamarbazarek6460 If you can get to a doctor quickly to get an emotional support animal letter, the "no pets" landlord rule is waived by law.

[@wendy645]

As a now-grown child who grew up with two parents who stayed together WAY longer than they should have, please, please take the steps forward to get out of it and on the path of finding out who you are (because it's ever-changing)! I watched my mom lose her Self and anguish over a feeling of obligation to keep her and her child in an abusive, dangerous situation. If you have children, it's always going to be better to get out, for both your sakes. Even if you don't have children, you're always got the custody of one child - your inner child. Even if you doubt and second-guess your *own* deserving of letting go of the multi-dimensional weights of maintaining this relationship past its expiration date, ask yourself: "Would I be ok with watching someone tell a scared little girl that she needs to suck it up and stay in a bad relationship? Would I let myself do that to that little girl?" because that little girl is deserving of all good things, and that little girl is you.

[@calisongbird]

@@kamarbazarek6460 seriously hope you didn’t kill your dog just because your landlord didn’t accept pets. 😡 That’s evil. There are no-kill shelters for those situations.

[@MrsTigerbalm]

@@kamarbazarek6460 oh gosh I’m reading this 6 months on and really feel for you. How are you? Did you say goodbye to your best buddy? That must have ripped your heart out but I know at 17? he must have been really struggling and that would be breaking your heat too. Did you move to your new home? I really hope after all those courageous steps that you’re coming to terms with what you’ve been through and finding some peace and contentment in your new life.

[@skymoon4518]

I'd like to let go of holding myself to a standard I believe to be unrealistic for others. I want to let go of hiding behind a mask of perfection, so that I can make more authentic connections.

[@SoulSpaUniversity]

9:55 Holy sh*t he’s good. -love all of them! But damn, that guy is just superb

[@madisonromero3529]

Ryan I got a chance to repeat a VERY INTENTIONAL action that you had to do in the past. I graciously asked my family NOT to gift me anything for Christmas. Me just getting to experience a day with them was my gift. My dad was trying to be kind and got me over 15 gifts. Some of them over $100. I used your exact words, "Thank you so much for these really nice things. I am sorry but I am trying very hard to be intentional about things I am bringing into my life. I am going to see who can better use these amazing gifts. But I really do appreciate this." My dad understood but was very surprised, but understood. Also it was very freeing.

[@elaineclaire7063]

" Is about subtracting all that's cluttering in our lives in the first place." Less is more.

[@sherrywiley4817]

I think TK's advice to the mom was gold! So very insightful!

[@aileechristian3653]

Your channel has helped me so much! I decluttered the first time in high school when I was dealing with a lot of mental health issues. It’s crazy how much my stuff was cluttering my mind. Now that I live in my own place and have for over a year Your content has allowed me to reevaluate and see where I have allowed physical possessions to creep back in. Now im working on buying less in the first place.

[@misssicily100]

and eventually, you won't buy at all like me.

[@elmarlactaoen9065]

Did this just become my favorite episode? ❤

[@ArleneAdkinsZell]

I want to let go of a deep seated bitterness, I think I have successfully done so, then out of the blue at 3am it bubbles up from somewhere deep inside. I then spend several sleepless nights and brutal days trying to eradicate it, crappy cycle.

[@sandrafrederick4923]

This was very valuable for me. Thank you.

[@alanbirkner1958]

I took another box to Goodwill today. I got another empty box to fill this week. I have tee shirts to give away and silverware to sell. I threw out 5 things today. I tell my husband we have 100,000 things in our home and he laughs. Tina, Al's wife

[@THFrenchteacher]

I got up early this Christmas morning hoping to ground myself before the family comes over. This was exactly what I needed! Thank you so much for this and for all the other insights you have brought into my life. I’m grateful to you all. 🙏💜🙏

[@laurettadelmar2781]

Bless Ella for coming up on stage ❤ awesome talk guys as always. Love seeing these

[@juliecatalini7235]

Guilt! Thank you Ryan for helping me better understand guilt and TK for providing guidance on how to live with and address guilt constructively. No one has ever explained and guided as well as you both did in this video!!! Thank you so much. 🙏

[@wendy645]

This is absolutely fantastic! The No Stories thing resonates with me!!

[@anitag3306]

You guys are amazing and so appreciated! Thank you for your presence in my life!! Blessings 😊..

[@katiecollins688]

My car payment, our debt is house and 2 vehicles and if we can stick to the plan we’ll pay off the car this year and the truck next year. Then we can start on the house.

[@nelly99100]

Awesome insights and support around relationships and their potential rebooting. Thanks guys!!! Will have to try some of that with my 11 year old son.......

[@maruarena1]

Hi guys! I think and also feel that are changing my life, since I met I made a lot of changes about how I get involved with purchases and my money and the things that I own. I been donating, selling and felling so much light... thank you thank you thank you. Hugs from Buenos Aires, Argentina!

[@aimeemariefournier1013]

Let it go with love. That’s the big secret ❤

[@aimeemariefournier1013]

If we let go of guilt fear anger etc. we can let go of anything. The people who love us sometimes hurt us more and vice versa. And pleasure and joy are not same nor extacsy or rage

[@rickyiglesias5384]

No shoes?! Ryan, you're such a hippie. I love it. hahaha :)

[@karenstough8708]

Love you guys, Merry Christmas!

[@Nonepita10273]

Merry Christmas. Thank you for sharing

[@HananBenNafa]

Great episode, thank you guys. what a great way to end the year. And Ella has grown up so much! Love you guys x

[@jeremytorgersen]

Excellent episode and discussion, great timing as I can relate to many of the questions brought up!

[@ginakessler2372]

Good messages and keep on keeping on your daughter is precious, thanks for all you do and what a huge change and refreshing change mimilism has brought to my life and ,This makes year 2 for me on down sizing and its the best gift anyone could share. Happy new year to you all. Have a wonderful new year.God bless

[@kejbi8061]

Thank you for amazing speech!

[@lydiasharp6070]

Lots to consider…thanks guys!

[@lauriecampbell1378]

Beautiful!!!

[@ericamciver1293]

The snake example was 👌

[@twida9]

thank you!

[@Peter-mf6gh]

Luv u guys 🙌, Merry Christmas 🎄✨️

[@kimberlyjohnson6052]

Thank you! ❤

[@kennethbailey9853]

THANKYOU

[@wendylee13]

Unfortunately my son! To much to type but someday zi hope he comes around but I must walk away! My heart is gutted 😢

[@alaaabdalla3199]

الحلقة دي عظيمة حرفيا ♡♡♡♡

[@jsavannah123]

ty ty ty!!!!!!!!!!

[@annahenselek6909]

Oh Ella ☺

[@lawyerina305]

🎄

[@dunebuggie]

Yeah, don't be surprised if a teenager or someone in their early 20's doesn't want to spend family time with you. They are establishing their own life. It's pretty normal for them not to want to hang out with older family members.

[@hollyberrii]

Here I am! 😂

[@gcw6333]

👍👍👍👍👍

[@brg2743]

Letting go of old exercise equipment.

[@aimeemariefournier1013]

You come here quite often 😂😂😂 Same as catholic guilt or a Jewish or Muslim momma

[@theminimalisttrainer1288]

I can tell you, the son will never want you. Because that's how I am in a broken dysfunctional family. I never wanna be attached to my mother and she's the one who keeps wanting to connect/reach me for the past 37 years.

[@ib4359]

Your Mom doesn't need to be perfect. Just try to reconnect. Please. Just try to not bring up all of the past problems. Life is short.

[@jenshark4]

@@ib4359 why should the OP reconnect? If being around his/her mother is not healthy or even toxic there is no reason to reconnect.

[@min_oaka2617]

@@jenshark4 Agree. It’s a choice.

[@GraeMatterz]

Mistlefaux.

[@Louiseskybunker]

Beautiful!