ep.47 "Why do I sometimes fantasize about horrible things happening to me?" | AKA

Audience Questions for Ask Kati Anything episode 47
1) Hey Kati, How long does it take you to "read" your clients mood if they don´t say anything? Can you see if they are struggling a lot or is it harder to see? I always wonder what techniques a therapist uses to adjust to each client's situation. (As a follow up: has this changed with video visits and not being able to see as much body language?)
2) Hi Kati, how do YOU keep yourself from judgment towards your patients (and us)? You always say that nothing is weird and we can say everything to our therapist, but don’t you ever find things weird, or stupid? Is our shame never in place? Isn’t it human to have such judgments towards others and do you train yourself not to look at them/us that way or do you simply not have them that way? I’m very curious what you have to say. Love from Holland!
3) Hi Kati, Why do I sometimes fantasize about horrible things happening to me? Sometimes I fantasize or almost wish something awful would happen to me, for example, a car accident or an assault. I have no idea why I do this and logically I know I would not want any of those things to happen, but a part of me almost finds comfort in...
4) Hi Kati! I was wondering if you've got any tips on staying motivated. Recently, I've been having trouble getting things done such as schoolwork and other necessary tasks throughout the day. I've always been a straight-A student in the past, but recently I've found myself so unmotivated that I can't seem to get anything done...
5) Hey Kati, do you have any tips with figuring out sexuality? I thought I was fairly certain that I'm straight, however, I constantly want to be around my female best friend and prefer spending time with her than with my boyfriend. I also admire girls but...
6) Hi Kati, I have a curious question. Why do you always use "we" when explaining something? For example you say things like "when we are traumatised" or "when we suffer from BPD" or "when we feel abandoned" etc instead of "people who are traumatised" or...
7) Hi Kati! I have a bad habit of apologizing for everything, for example, I've said sorry when my coworker bumped into a bookcase and I witnessed it, and I have tried replacing it with thank you but it didn't stick at all. I also say sorry when people say they are having a bad day or event. I use it as a default for almost everything like to start a sentence or if I feel I'm not explaining something right so I find this word a struggle to get rid of saying as much as I do. Any advice on how to stop using it so much?
8) Hi Kati! I noticed I've become SO awkward in casual small talks (I stumble with words much worse than I did before) and I don't even want to get in conversations with anybody else than my boyfriend and family these days. Feels like I can't be bothered. Could this be a consequence of 10 month covid lockdown? Thank you for all you do!
9) Hi Kati, How can I keep trying when every time I try things get immediately harder? I´ve been battling anxiety, depression and my social anxiety for so long, I don't remember a time without it. I take my medication, I go to therapy but it takes so much effort to even try, just to get pushed back down even further. How am I supposed to believe that it will get better, cause every time I start to believe it even a little, things really just do get worse.
10) What would you say if a client asked you what you think of them? Would answer or ask why they want to know. I always worry about what people think of me. I always assume that people think badly of me, even when there is no evidence.
JOURNALING CLUB
Every Tuesday & Friday Kati posts a journal prompt to help keep you motivated and working on yourself! www.youtube.co...
Ordering Kati's book
Are u ok?
bit.ly/2s0mULy
Kati's Amazon Suggestions:
www.amazon.com...
ONLINE THERAPY
I do not currently offer online therapy. BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online counselor, please visit: tryonlinethera...
I receive commissions on referrals to BetterHelp. I only recommend services I know and trust.
PATREON
Do you want to help me support the creation of mental health videos? www.katimorton...
Opinions That Don't Matter! (2nd podcast)
video: / @askkatianything
audio: opionstdm.buzz...
BUSINESS EMAIL
[e-mail]
MAIL
PO Box #665 1223 Wilshire Blvd. Santa Monica, CA 90403
PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[@lillianwiley1114]

She answered my question! Is it weird that I’m totally fan girling rn like “OMG she just read MY question!”? I loved that response too. It was so helpful and I literally cried throughout most of it. 🧡🧡

[@rubberkiwi1]

I feel a bit fangirl at the moment also since she answered my question too! It's like a celeb "noticed" me! Lol

[@JACk79457]

I love that for you!!!!

[@nikkimckay860]

Lillian Wiley. Hello I'm nikki from uk congratulations on getting your question though to kati s podcast please can you give me any advice on how you did it because I tried a few weeks ago wrote my question in the community tab but by the time Kati s podcast come around on Thursday my question had only 1 thumps up made me feel very sad and honestly unimportant thanks

[@lillianwiley1114]

@Nikki Mckay, I did the exact same thing as @Vale. In order for your question to get enough exposure, you have to be one of the first bunch of people to post. That is partially what determines how high up your comment goes and therefore how many people will see it and like it. Good luck next week! 🧡

[@natiw8336]

I get it, I would love her to answer my question too. Fangirl here =))

[@SusieQ78]

My favorite quote from Kati in this one: “Compassion and Empathy snuffs out judgment”

[@susanmckinstery2875]

To me, your use of the word 'we' in videos also helps communicate the idea that mental health or emotional struggles can and do happen to anyone. In this way you remind those of us who struggle that there's nothing fundamentally broken about us, that we're not 'different' in some way. I find that comforting.

[@hc4769]

Yes! I always seen it as ‘we as humans’. When we’re traumatized = when we as humans are traumatized. So it’s a normal human thing. When we as humans have a specific brain chemistry, we can develop blah blah blah disorder. When we as humans have had an unstable home environment, it can cause us to blah blah blah.

[@sallyallen820]

I really appreciated Katie saying that wanting attention is not a bad thing (it can be at a certain extent, like if it's harming people, but, you know, it's probably not harming people). I've always felt guilty and ashamed about wanting attention, and I've been feeling it a lot more lately, because I've been a lot more down in the dumps these past few weeks. I think wanting more attention and feeling like it's bad has also made me isolate myself and not want to reach out sometimes, so I think that little piece of wisdom might be able to bring a bit more balance to my life in that regard from now on. I'm really glad KZbin brought me this!

[@AzeQc004]

As a nursing student, I completly understand Kati's POV about not judging patients. As a "normal" human with my friends we'll judge certain people or whatever but on the job, never have I judged a patient under my care for any reason. They're in one of their most vulnerable state, so why would I judge. Never does it ever cross my mind. It's like a switch that is automatic switches off when the scrubs come on..

[@LeComplice]

that's very interesting

[@CalibanTaylor]

As someone who struggles with self-harm I hope I find a nurse like you if I ever need emergency care.

[@vals3922]

Yes, I am in nursing school as well. I think I just tend to look for the why rather than judging because that doesn't serve the patient getting better ❤️

[@sparkeli4513]

Kati, you're so wholesome. I wish my therapist could read me and my body language the way that you can with your clients.

[@starlingswallow]

She's wholesome and uses the f-bomb! Love it! ☺️💕

[@christym.6529]

I love how you always say “we”. It makes everyone feel included. And like you said WE are a community.

[@toni2309]

I'm honestly relieved about you believing the person asking the ninth question. I have a similar thing happen to me because of my sensory processing disorder. I go out there, try things, and then just get overwhelmed. I was always told that I'm making a big deal out of nothing so I'm honestly thankful for your answer.

[@thestatusquoy]

Hey Kati! Is there a possibility of changing the time you post the callout? Last week's (I think) was amazing for the southern hemisphere followers, as it was in the afternoon/early evening as opposed to 2am/4am. The algorithm naturally favours the comments that post immediately when you do, so it's tricky for our questions to get seen by other community members (anyone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong)... But yeah it also saves us getting up in the middle of the night to post hahahaha no worries if it's a boundaries thing (ie posting out of work hours), but I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask 🤷🏽‍♀️ I look forward to these every week! Thanks so much for giving us hope 💕

[@sallyallen820]

For me, in terms of fantasizing about horrible things happening to me, I used to do this a lot, especially when I was really young - like 6-8 yrs (I still did later on in life, but not that much). I think I did this because, especially when I was a really young kid, I fundamentally believed that I had no value, that I was below everyone else, and that I just wasn't important. I know, it's sad, but I'm much better now as I've gained more confidence, perspective, wisdom, etc., with age. Anyway, I imagined situations (like being in an accident, being hurt, being really sick with something deadly, stuff like that) in which people's attention would be on me, they would feel pity, compassion, sympathy, or something like that, I'd get attention, and they would care about me. I would matter. I would be important. It would fill that hole, and that pain. Overall, I think I just wanted to be/feel important and to matter, because I really didn't think that I did, which is a painful thing to feel. I guess I thought that other people giving me attention, sympathizing, and caring would fix that and make me important, and stop the hurt. Also, because I thought that I was worse/less than everyone else and that they were all better and more important than me, I thought that if a bad thing happened to me, that I might measure up. At the heart of it though, it was about self worth and, I guess, the absence of it. For anyone who relates to this, I'm so sorry. And, if it wasn't obvious by now, you are fucking important, and valuable, and deserving, and just as fucking good as anyone else. That value is inherent. Nothing gives you that value or takes it away, because you have had it since the moment you became alive. Being alive in itself gives you value. Your personality. Your spirit. Your soul. The unique combination of things that make up you - no one else has that. And it is so valuable. (Not any more valuable or important than others, mind you. But important!)

[@lmoore149]

Hi kati I love the fact the you say we it makes me feel less weird and alone. I love it when you ramble I love when you curse thanks Katie love you hope you guys are okay.

[@anitakingsberry2622]

As a child. I used to see myself "fantasize " dead or in a coffin or at my funeral. I kinda understand where it stems from. My mother was very suicidal. Interesting others did and do this.

[@bigsquez]

I can totally relate to your third point about fantasizing about horrible things to happen to them, but I feel like there’s another factor in play. Is it possible that people (including me) who fantasize that may actually find pleasure from it because the trauma was a common feeling they went through as a child? I personally don’t like feeling successful because I feel like I don’t deserve it and I want the worst thing to happen to me, but at the same time I know I don’t want horrible things to happen to me. Also, religion may have a role. I’m not religious anymore, but I feel like my religious past made me feel like I deserve the worst since I grew up thinking I was a sinner

[@snuffyscorner]

I needed a pick-me-up. Thanks so much!

[@rubberkiwi1]

Thank so much for answering my question on saying sorry so much! I had a feeling your insight on it, since I knew you also struggle with it, would help a lot so i appreciate it and what you do with AKA (i watch all your youtube vids). It does make sense what you say about how it is for you personally as i feel like that is me also. I also feel it's a mix of all the things: lack of confidence and taking up space, empathy, can't handle criticism, crutch word, etc. So i will do my best to journal and check my facts, I just really appreciated your insight on this. Thank you! ❤

[@siennahong]

Your videos helped me through some of the darkest times of my life! 💗 thank you for approaching each topic with so much care & thought. Love ya!

[@animal_cookie]

I think violent fantasies for me were helpful for completing the emotional/adrenaline cycle. I grew up with someone who posed a constant threat but often never fully escalated and it was almost always ignored. So imagining violent scenarios helped my brain play it out fully - beginning (a threat), middle (the violence), and end (return to safety and recovery).

[@webofstarlight]

That is an interesting theory, I'll have to think about that.

[@mobelu22]

I relate so much to the "sorry" question! It is also linked to a "sorry to be here/in your way/you have bumped into me(!)" confidence issue. Thanks for being so clear in your answers, Kati.

[@nyekawhitaker1083]

Hi Kati. Just wanted to tell you that I love AKA so much. It’s so helpful and I’m always learning something new from you💜😁

[@DebraWomack]

Thank you for doing these videos. It is so helpful to hear how Kati the regular person reacts as opposed to Kati the therapist. I've tried to explain to people - *logically* I know that isn't how {whatever} is, but my wonky thought processes try to convince me otherwise.

[@AndroidInHumansClothing]

hearing you talk about how you feel on some deep level that you don't deserve to take up space really touched me, and I had the wish to make your self-confidence better (which I know I can't) because I felt that you shouldn't have to feel this horrible way about yourself - while at the same time I know I feel like that also. thanks for being so vulnerable Kati, it means a lot.

[@suzannep]

The idea of how things will change after COVID restrictions end frightens me. For the first time I have been able to get intensive mental health group therapy because it is being done over zoom. When the mental health office reopens its doors I worry I'll no longer have that opportunity, because I assume they will discontinue zoom groups. I live a long way away from the facility, and physical health problems limit my ability to travel that far. So I keep having really mixed feelings about things opening back up...

[@maddyferris3012]

I graduated from CWU& live in Seattle! Thats so funny. Its a tiny school so what are the chances! Love you Kati and these videos after my Thurs therapy apts. Feels like a warm friend coming alongside me in my healing journey. xo

[@Firefighter_Hogue]

Always love your videos, I saw my therapist this morning which was pretty ruff with her wanting me to go to the hospital and me trying to talk her down from it while also not lying to her. I can definitely relate to the title of your video this morning I’ve found myself wishing it more and more lately. I know my therapist only wants the best for me and wants me to be safe but it’s hard not to feel backed into a corner and I made a promise to myself I would never lie to her. How do you balance trust and safety with a client?

[@kataclysm6]

Being in a pandemic is an empathy mind-fuck. On one hand, I am all for staying inside and visiting with the same people. On the other, I know it's important to socialize and see family. It's especially important to socialize with older family members, but they're high-risk so it is especially important to keep them safe.

[@nikkimckay860]

Watching this new podcast now as been feeling so rough everyday and night night sleeping well or sleeping to much just clicked the notification I had a read of all this Thursday s questions all very important question so going to listen to what kati has to say to each person s question question number 9 I can understand and relate to it makes me sad only difference between the person who ask the question is they are on therapy and I don't have any hospital s are to risky right now anyway hope everyone s ok x

[@haisesasaki3944]

Hi... I'm the first here ❤🔥 I was looking forward for this ❤

[@carohei6655]

Second👍😂

[@haisesasaki3944]

@@MrEpsilonZero Thanks 💙

[@ryannesumbry4130]

Looking 👀 for the time stamp gang!!🤷🏽‍♀️

[@vetz7]

Kati, 🤟. Been watching for years

[@kerrylarmand6301]

Can hardly wait to listen tonite !!!!!!!

[@NidusFormicarum]

There is always a lot of shame when I realize how others perveive me. Guilt too, of course, but no guilt without shame. Well, I have certainly had judgemental therapists who get frustrated, sigh, start shaking (get upset), ask me very prejudiced questions etc. I guess the chemistry is just not right with every one. Fantasizing about accidents etc: Yes, because we want attention. Yes, not eating, not sleeping, not taking care of daily tasks. But no, it's not depression for me -it's simply being overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings after realizing something new about myself and my relationships - a new identity crisis.

[@Rebelynn56]

I used to say 'sorry ' all the time, and people would ask what was I sorry for, I hadn't done anything. Caused me to think about it, we did the same thing at home. I came to the realization that I am sorry that whatever happened to you. No, nothing I could do to change or prevent it, but can I not still be sorry? That's my 2 cents worth.

[@nikkimckay860]

Kati Morton iclike your top and looking calm and nice as always I hope to get another chance of shareing my thoughts and a question again soon x

[@courtneyharp5561]

In regards to Question 4: How can you tell if you're depressed or burnt out and exhausted? I work as a postal carrier and am constantly working 10-12 hour days and can't find the motivation to do much when I'm home. I am able to talk myself into doing chores because I know it will be worse for myself if I don't, but I can't find the energy, physical or mental, to work on my crafts and hobbies.

[@CalibanTaylor]

My dad wasn't a carrier, he was a mechanic, but he instilled in me a great respect for the postal service because, truly, it's just that: a service. You guys are amazing. When I was 14 my parents couldn't afford to pay rent one month. My grandfather sent us a check. He had Parkinson's and, somehow, USPS got that scribbled, illegible envelope to us and we still had a place to live and food on the table. You aren't my postal carrier (her name is Sabrina) and I know that, but I still want to say thank you, on behalf of everyone you deliver to. I wish I had more I could offer than my gratitude. Take care.

[@janetslater129]

With depression, I noticed that I would lose interest and desire in the things that I would normally enjoy, like I would seriously not care. If I'm just burned out or exhausted, I may still have the interest on some level, but not the desire. I hope this makes sense.

[@leilabarry1831]

I know a lot of people say that women saying sorry Is a part of sexism and misogyny. a lot of women feel that they are taking up space. It’s a whole thing you guys should all look into it more!❤️

[@binuamy6543]

Love & Hugs Kati!

[@starlingswallow]

Interesting! I do this a lot, well, more so back in the day, but having realistic Day-mares flash across my mind of terrible things happening to me! I thought I was the only one! It is so real to me when I have these that my heart jumps in my throat and my blood runs cold, heart rate skyrockets! 😳😳

[@CalibanTaylor]

Anyone scrolling through the comments have advice/words of wisdom for handling being in the middle of a relapse? Maybe advice for motivating oneself out of it? I’ve thrown 8 years away and don’t see a point of trying to get it back.

[@anniekate76]

You haven’t thrown anything away, it’s not a Duolingo streak. :) You had 8 years 100% treating yourself right? And now you have 8 years of 99.99% of the time treating yourself right! Not so different.

[@elliem7912]

Of course you haven't thrown 8 years away. This is not a failure. You've put a lot of effort in to get where you are, and I am proud of you for doing that. You might have hit a bump in the road now, but it's just a bump. If you were able to travel this far down the road, you are going to be able to get over that bump. Recovery is not a smooth process. For anyone. It's long, and it's painful, but it is worth it. I believe in you. That being said, I feel the need to say that I am in no way a professional, or qualified to diagnose or treat anyone. This is just my personal opinion. I would sugest seeing a therapist (if you are not already), and figuring out where to go from there. While my struggles have been with other types of issues, I have found therapy very helpful.

[@Shylows]

Needy is like a gambling habit. I just so need to understand this horrible thing

[@CalibanTaylor]

yo, can we get a link to Hope For Recovery? Trying to google it gives, like, 20 different groups and none of them mention what was mentioned in this episode.

[@butterflystickerz581]

in a tent in the warm months is therapy area for me.

[@maddiev7812]

I'm not sure if this will be helpful for this specific asker, but referring back to question #7 (a bad habit of apologizing for everything), saying sorry a lot is something the some people with OCD do. For some people, saying sorry or confessing wrongdoings is a compulsive act. Again, I'm not sure that fits the experience f this specific person, but i learned that recently and wanted to share in case it's helpful for anyone! :)

[@NidusFormicarum]

I even think there are situations when a "sorry" doesn't really cut it. If you have behaved really, really badly, perhaps you could show that you are willing to change and work in the relationship by telling how much certatin things mean to you etc. Also, if it something that has been going on for many years that you have come to realization about yourself recently, then perhaps you should show the person that you have changed and try to build trust again slowly.

[@TitaEmerick]

About this question: "Why do I sometimes fantasize about horrible things happening to me?" For me I think that this happens kinda of like: if something really bad happens then I would have a reason to give up, like suicide. And I also think it has something to do with the 'comfort' of being in a bad situation because I grew up in abusive environment so it's all I know

[@therain6938]

How have I only just noticed the song is missing from the start???

[@suzannep]

I was wondering about that too.

[@josephswafford7578]

Wonderful.

[@mely3036]

I’m in the lgbtq+ community myself and correct me if i am wrong but i think the Q stands for queer and not questioning 😊

[@creature4169]

I looked at getting into Psychology and or counseling. However prior to study i researched many of the subjects listed and i found myself wondering if some of current thinking surrounding this field of ... "science"... isn't dated. Are their any modern approaches you would recommend?

[@nebliaj]

hmm Q on LGBTQ stands for Queer, not questioning. not that it is bad to question your sexuality, but queer has a separate meaning and importance

[@amberelizabeth652]

Does anyone else feel bad when other people say sorry?

[@kidager]

If your coming from Instagram, it's on 40:00

[@julleon6280]

I have a question about an Emotional Unavailable mother or narcissistic, not sure where my mom falls. Why does it hurt so much when she disregards why and what I am feeling? I tried talking to her and she just always guilt trips me about what I feel sorry for doing already. Most people I know say things we don’t mean when we are mad at someone (I have BPD keep in mind) so whenever I tried to apologize and tell her I love her she throws it back at me. She also doesn’t even want to learn about BPD...she laughs at it and calls me a coward and tht I want self pity when I feel suicidal. I told her out of pain, “y’all would be better off without me here” and she just says “there you go result to being a coward” and idk if I should ever let her back in my life....what do we do?

[@mammamonssterr]

I'm sorry but she is an abuser. It hurts you because she is being cruel, not because there is anything wrong with you. She is literally manipulating you. It's not your responsibility to manage her own mental problems, the thing is that you don't need to "do" anything (you did nothing wrong) because it is not your responsibility nor your fault, you need to distance yourself from her. I'm sorry you are going through this and your deserve SO MUCH BETTER. You deserve someone who respects you and your mental health and someone who not only takes you seriously but helps you too. She LAUGHS at you??? Oh my. Please move out as soon as you can if you are still living with her, I know it's difficult and with the pandemic is even worse but your mental health will improve so much being out of that house (again, if you live with her). Please find people who love you, respect you, take you seriously, validate you, and help you without judgment or cruelty. You deserve pure kindness and love. My heart aches thinking about a lovely person being in this situation, suffering so much and being bullied from their own mother. Remember that the things she say to you are not true, you know the truth, you know your problems are real and they deserve a space to be felt, heard and validated. You deserve healing. She invalidates you because she needs someone to pour out her bitterness, she sounds like a narcissist. It's not your fault, she takes it out on you because you are near her, and cruelty just pours out from her, it's her the problem, not you. If she was happy and healthy mentally she wouldn't have the need to be this cruel and mean and cold to you, you did nothing wrong, the problem it's her mental health. I know I'm repeating myself but I need to say it again: you did nothing wrong, it's not your fault, you did NOTHING to deserve it, it's all on her, please don't take it on yourself. Seek therapy if you didn't already (if you can) to find tools to manage the pain this person has put you through, and surround yourself with kind people who understand and support you. You deserve the best. Sending much love!!!!

[@anniekate76]

Hey! You don’t need to apologize for crying on camera. Would you disapprove of other KZbinrs crying on camera while talking about the impact the pandemic has had on us? ;)

[@emmabeckett6451]

I completely agree! You don't need to be sorry for having feelings and being sad about this. It really sucks, and honestly it was validating to how I felt to see you cry about it.

[@azeemnawaz5531]

Good

[@rebeccas8054]

Hi Kati, I don't know if you still read this after a couple of days, but you asked for reactions on the fact that you use 'we' a lot and I wanted to give my opinion. I agree that it makes the differences between people smaller, but I wonder if that is something you should persue. People are different, not only in mental illnesses, but also in the banal things like hobbies, interessests and the kind of sports they play. Maybe we should accept the differences more than to try to minimize them. You simply can't understand everyone. Secondly, and that's a big thing for me, it sometimes feels like you make things smaller than they are by doing so. For instance, I'm struggling with PTSD and it's just plainly hard sometimes and that sucks. By every time someone talks about it as if they know the struggle, while they never really have, I feel like they underestimate my struggle or normalize it. Everytime someone says something like 'we', it sounds for me like everone struggles with it some time in his life and thereby it becomes an every day problem, nothing big to be dramatic about. It's a bit like telling someone who is depressed that you know the feeling, because you're having a bad day as well. I'd prefer it if someone acknowledges the fact that they don't fully understand what I'm dealing with, but they hear and try to understand that it's hard. I found your explanation legitimate as well, but I just wanted to give another perspective on the case. And by the way, thanks for answering my question so thoroughly and honestly! :) It was question no. 2

[@dogcatfint5671]

about judging others. when you talk to other therapist about clients (obviously with out names or other in private info). Isn't there a 'little' judgement when you talk about that client? (like a client that isnt doing the homework you gave or something else....). Not saying necessarily in a bad way but just to rant between other therapists who would 'understand' what you dealing with as a therapist and a place to rant.... ???

[@josephswafford7578]

It. Seems. It. Should. Be. Peaceful. For. Me. Don't. Know. Why.

[@Rebelynn56]

I am a rock, I am an island! 🙃

[@chantellekaro4344]

Time stamps

[@TokyoShemp]

Ask Kati about tardive dyskinesia created by psychiatric pills.

[@rahmatakbarkhan7942]

How ARE you vERy 🌹

[@TokyoShemp]

What pills do you take?

[@danielroy8232]

lol she says "shame shouldn't exist" wonder if she would say that to a serial killer.

[@liank9564]

There is a difference between shame and guilt. She talks about that in previous podcasts.

[@jerryormston3916]

Just dig into that and see what omes up for you. So, how exactly do I dig into that? You give no answers or even ask questions. It reminds me of the book ' The Secret' Just want it and it will happen. Jeje. Yea right.

[@mammamonssterr]

She has stated in many occasions that you dig into it by feeling your feelings, journaling your experience (in fact she tells this advice so many times it's like a inside joke with us "you know what is coming, guys: journaling!"), and talking about it with a good friend. When you do this you can find the key, the reason, of your struggle, and that's the first step to getting help. An example: you feel insecure, you journal about it, you discover that the way you feel is the same as when you were bullied in high school, you realise your insecurity comes from that experience, and you talk to a therapist to find a solution to heal from that abuse. If you listened to her instead of hating on her, you would know. Seek help. This projection is not good.

[@jerryormston3916]

Katie, please contact me. I am very concerned that you need help. A friend.

[@jerryormston3916]

You are just telling us what you don't know.

[@nisafinnegan]

false actually. she has a degree, a license, and many MANY years of practice x

[@jerryormston3916]

Maybe our thoughts should stay inside and be considered. This seems all about selfish you.

[@jerryormston3916]

You are a terrible theropist, it can't be about you. Go away, process it and come back and give the solutions processed and squared away. I feel you are still trying to find yourself. It is not about you.

[@nikkimckay860]

Jerry ormston. Who are you and why do you put kati down and judge her ways of helping people with these videos and podcast s she only ever made feel calm and gave me helpful advice and important information though her words seems you have your personal reasons for what you say we are all here for our Mental health and to get advice your words honestly are cold just saying