Ep.87 - Cancer Vlog: Even If... - 11/19/2022

[@joyceraber5094]

Saddest part was when Brittany mentioned battling this for years to come. Despite everything she still had such hope and faith.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Yeah. I address this in the coming videos. She knew. I knew. But it didn't have to be spoken. We wanted to focus all our energy on us and the future. If we were doing that, then we we couldn't get bogged down in the sadness of it all. She was razor focused, all the way to the end.

[@danishdee8666]

Throughout her entire journey this poor girl never seemed to get any type of break. So heartbreaking. And my heart and prayers go out to you Darrin who stood by her the entire way like a rock. You were such a loving supportive husband and I can see how much she loved you. May I ask, when she was first diagnosed why they could not remove the entire kidney (I know the mass was so large). She still had a functional kidney and why radiation was not an option? Forgive my ignorance. Just following your journey it seems there was medical malpractice (the unecessary surgery removing the functional kidney, the way MD Anderson did you guys so dirty) which shortened her life more then it could have been.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Hey Danish! I think MDA did what they thought was best at the time. To answer your questions - the tumor was too large. It had ingrained itself into various other systems, and fed itself from many different capillaries, rather than just the main artery. Cutting it out would have put her body into shock or killed her from lack of bloodloss. Additionally, despite being completely enveloped by tumor, the kindey was still perfectly functioning! No one could have suspected that. So, when they sealed the artery to hopefully kill the tumor feeding off the bloodsupply, it killed a that kidney. We probably still would have made the call to go through with the surgery, even if we knew. Because 1, she had two kidneys. and 2, we would have taken that shot at killing the tumor outright.

[@pamelaruth7400]

Hi Darrin. I am Pamela. I'm a widow since October 2020. My husband lived with cancer too. A kidney tumor metastasized to his lungs and bones. The pain the last few months of his physical life here on earth was unbearable. High dose synthetic opoids did not help much at all in the end! I see how much you love your wife! I love my husband like that too! How are you doing? If you need to talk Im here. I isolated for the first five months. It was excruciating. I admire you telling the story! I share the faith you and your wife have also. Thank you for sharing this journey. I feel less alone seeing your similar though very unique story. Take care of yourself! You were a great husband, caregiver, and support for your wife. I can tell she appreciated it and loved you immensely!

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Oh Pamela... I don't know what to say. Thank you! I'm sorry you had to walk this path too. It's unbelievable. To answer your question, I'm okay. It's been 8 months since she passed and I'm still figuring out a lot of things, but... life is moving on. I'm moving with it. Slowly, but surely. Thank you for all your compliments! I really appreciate it. And I hope you stick with us. Only a few more videos to go up, unfortunately. But, I'm so glad that I've got all this out online.

[@pamelaruth7400]

Yes I will. Its so important to take everything at whatever pace feels right, Everyone is different. Its a deeply personal journey. Yet we need to share it with others too. Im so glad your ok!

[@lisawhite3648]

Sorry Also She Was A BAD ASS!!How BRAVE, STRONG and also Her Faith in God Always AMAZES ME.Every Video DAMN❤

[@Beyond_Cancer]

💕 She never wanted her faith to wain. She's still an example for me.

[@JiminyChristmas2-f4w]

Cancer is just plumb evil. Robbed the world of this sweet soul. I’m sorry🤍. You’re the best Darrin! Love supporting her journey.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thank you, Crystal! And you're 100% right! Cancer is dumb.

[@rhondawhatley1591]

That is the day I lost my sister to cancer. 😢 I'm still so broken over it all I just want to hear her voice and hug her one last time.

[@beckymellon8135]

I’m so very sorry ❤️✌️

[@lisawhite3648]

I'm So Very Sorry❤

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Rhonda, I'm so sorry. I know that everyone has or has known someone who's suffered this terrible disease. There's nothing I can say that you haven't heard before, or which will make you feel better. Just know that you are loved, not only by your sister, but us and ultimately God. He sees you in your pain.

[@donnamariedunn3944]

Britney was so strong and determined. She was planning in years and all she had was 2 months. That is heartbreaking. Darrin you are truly amazing! ♥️

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thank you, Donna. I actually address this in the coming videos. She knew. I knew. But it didn't have to be spoken. We wanted to focus all our energy on us and the future. If we were doing that, then we we couldn't get bogged down in the sadness of it all. She was razor focused, all the way to the end.

[@carrieross8987]

God be with you Darrin...it's hard to believe she was gone 2 months after these videos...Prayers n hugs to you Darrin...

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Yeah, it's coming soon. Just a few more vids, really. Thank you for being here and following along with us. It matters.

[@jennifersanders2456]

Great to see her so lucid. Sad it changed so suddenly. Hugs Darrin 🙏🏻

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thank you, Jennifer. In the grand scheme of things, yes, it was sudden. But our lives had slowed to a crawl. The 18 months we went through felt more like 3+ years. Our perception was just... so bizarre while we were in this.

[@earthmedicine27]

Adorable beautiful Britney Rest in Peace....I love the way Darren plays with her hair while she is talking, really loving & cute! Sending love and prayers for strength.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thank you, Earth Medicine! I was always touching her. She would often complain "why aren't you touching me" when we were driving and I wasn't holding her hand. It was always very cute. And I loved to do it. Even when we fought, she would immediately grab my hand and not let go for the duration. It kept us connected and focused on each other, helping to remind us that we weren't fighting each other, but fighting together against the Enemy for the sake of our marriage. It was powerful - and an amazing shift in the way I handled a relationship.

[@earthmedicine27]

@@Beyond_Cancer aww she sure was a precious gem. Prayers.

[@BabyDee72]

Prayers and hugs. I hope they can get your pain plan under control to help you❤

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Hey Dee! Thank you!!! Lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 11/19/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!

[@bobsgirl100]

I am so sorry for your loss. Brittany was an amazing person. I lost my husband suddenly from a motorcycle accident. It took the authorities 5 days to find him. I really don’t know what is worse. To have your loved one snatched away suddenly or live with a terminal cancer diagnosis and the terror that must be. I’m glad you are uploading your Brittany’s videos. I have no doubt it will help others. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thank you, Theresa! I really appreciate the comment. We just wanted to show people what this journey was like and show the world what God was doing in our lives too. I'm praying for you and your family right now! That is so horrible! To be honest... I don't know what would be worse either. And thirdly, Not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 11/19/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!

[@mariamckenna808]

I am so sorry. God Bless.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thank you!

[@beckymellon8135]

God bless you Darren, it was so difficult to see you in the last video when her pain level was extreme. I’ve been in that position and it’s so difficult ❤️❤️❤️ the videos are incredible and so hard to put together what is happening 😵‍💫 I can’t help but say unbelievable 😇you’re both angels🌹❤️✌️

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thank you, Becky. I tried to put the vids together in the best phrasing possible, jumping in as needed. I'm sorry you've had to go through a walk like this. I know it's hard, and it leaves you dumbfounded. Thank you for staying with us!

[@compassionentheogen]

Much love Darrin

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thank you, Misty!

[@greenqueen8323]

I hope Britney was able to get on a good pain regiment soon after this video.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Hey Green Queen, it does take us a bit longer to get her drugs ironed out. It takes us going to the hospital for a pain crisis, but we do face the end of this journey with a better drug regiment and hospice to assist.

[@elizabethconroy7665]

I have to say that most Doctors and Nurses do the best they can Imagine the long work hours and the thousands of patients they see on a daily basis Having been in Hospital,several times,have to say the level care is phenomenal

[@Beyond_Cancer]

💕

[@missychan63]

An end stage cancer patient that can't get pain medicine... make that make sense in ANY world. Thanks to our extremely messed up system, she not only had to deal with the pain, but also the withdrawal, through no fault of her own. This opiate crisis/war on drugs is completely out of control. The ONLY people NOT getting the meds are the people that truly need them. How often do you see a story on the news where a cancer patient died from fentanyl poisoning or an overdose? Never. How often do we see stories on the news about an addict dying from a fentanyl overdose/ poisoning? Hourly. I'm sorry, this is not the place to have that argument but it just makes me so angry when a pain patient, whether it's cancer or some other chronic pain,has to ffight for the medicines that they desperately need. I just found your channel but I'm binge watching all of these videos and I cannot believe how good she looked in this one... If this was the first video I saw and neither of you said the word "cancer", I wouldn't have known she was sick. Thin yes, end of life? No way. I'm just so sorry for everyone that loves her. She was obviously a beautiful girl who was taken way too soon.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thank you, Missychan! And thank you for following along. And, providing some clarity - it was our local pharmacy which was having troubles getting shipments of these meds. I wish we had found the other pharmacy which took care of us sooner. Additionally, our hospice guys always had what we needed on hand, even when the pharmacies didn't, which we were thankful for.

[@carrieross8987]

Was the Bible Study from the Daily Grace Co on Habakluk? I love their products and Bible studies...

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Yup! It was the Even If study. Brittany and I both loved their stuff! And that one, particularly held a lot of relevance for us.

[@132allie]

I can see why Brittany was confused as to why she came back from death. I found it sad that she thought that she was healed. Even though things didn't turn out as expected and hoped for, a lot of good came out of it. The healing of a family is no small deal. Even in the case of Lazarus, he was brought back only to die again. Jesus showed that he can resurrect people, and he will again in the future.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

132allie, and she's healed now. We can take comfort in that there is no more pain for her to go through. And that family will never be the same, that much is for sure.

[@taylorsmith8460]

Darrin, I have found your channel recently and am absolutely moved by you and Brittany’s story. Her strength was incredible, but I hope you realize the unimaginable strength you showed at the time of these videos and now, continuing to share her story. If this question is too invasive, please don’t feel like you have to respond, but do you both/the doctors believe her pain during her fight was so severe due to her fibromyalgia contributing as well? Or the severity of the cancer when it was discovered? I wish you nothing but the best, Darrin. You both have touched me deeply.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Hey Taylor! First of all, I hope you don't mind, but I'ma copy/paste "the template." I post this to all newcomers, so they're not lost or confused by how this is all going down. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. (About Episode 15) By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on just about every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 11/19/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching! Okay, now that that's out the way (And I'm sorry if I've wasted your time, but I'm pretty much compulsively posting that Template now. Ugh), I can get to the core of your question. Nothing is too invasive. We lived our lives fairly openly and learned to talk about anything and everything. Specifically, yes... to both assumptions. The spikes in severity seemed to be fibro related, with the dull to moderate constant ache was the cancer itself. We had some luck with Duloxetine for fibro pain, (before it almost put her in liver failure), and we often said that if we could have found a way to get nerve pain medication, she would have had a much higher quality of life. We were presented with several options, but something would always happen which would interrupt us and/or remove the option from the table. All in all, we were never able to get a handle on the fibro pain. And the general pain from the cancer itself only made her state worse. Thank you for your kindness Taylor. I hope you continue to follow us along. There's not many videos left now. Just a few.

[@patsyballantyne9886]

❤

[@fiageldenhuys6888]

♥️🙏♥️

[@Beyond_Cancer]

💕

[@elainehale5810]

When did she die 2:52

[@MegglesEST1983]

Coming up on a year

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Hey Elaine! Lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 11/19/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Thanks, Meggles!

[@MegglesEST1983]

@AlwaysMorePhotography absolutely. Love watching,listening to her & you talk about her & God. I've learned a lot and made me want to start praying again.

[@elizabethconroy7665]

My older brother died of Cancer aged 46 My Mother had Cancer twice and lived until her nineties It’s wonderful you both kept your Faith Respect for that 😊

[@debbiemartinez8989]

Why didn’t MD Anderson give other care, referring to Pallitative Care, Hospice Care, etc. Helping with a smooth transfer. It sounds like they dropped you like a hot potatoe. Cancer is crazy. Strange MD Anderson can’t give a straight answer like they dropped you from their insurance. Cold medical group. You think these people care. Cancer is a hard road. In this video, Brittany seems lively, voice volume is good, and not so sick that she is at the end of her life.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

No Debbie, you're absolutely right! I could say a lot of things about MD Anderson, but I choose to believe that we were the victim of nothing more than circumstance. They never told us "here's how long you have" and we preferred it that way. But they knew. The answer was 18 months, on average, for her age/cancer type/etc. But she was so young, they threw EVERYTHING they had at her, to make sure she could live as long as possible. She malnutrition caught up, she had lived for 15 out of those 18 months. They spent millions in time and resources... At a certain point, the massive amounts of energy and resources they throw at you just give diminishing returns. And ultimately, the energy and time the doctors could spend on her, would only give her a few more months, but that time and energy could have been spent on someone else to give them years of livable life. I could never say it at the time, but... at a certain point she was a lost cause. It kills me to say that, and it would be easy to demonize the very people who helped her live as long as she did. But, I have to face reality - MD Anderson choosing not to sink more time and resources into Brittany could very well have saved someone else entirely. And, I think that's how Brittany would have viewed it too.

[@gitegoemil6400]

Sad : lie , means , everyone lies you ,u lie urself , everything lies you ,there is no single happiness u will ever have ,it won’t even go in part of being strong , someone told u u are strong ,u are not strong he is lying once you leave u gonna start an endless regret ,no one is gonna be there and told u I’m so sorry ,u lie urself because the way u born u have to drink water ,eat ,rest , sweat ,get old , what u think if u can’t spend a day with no eating ? everyone dies except urself to think I’m full capable without this , u will found out u lie urself .

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Hey Rukundo, I'm not sure exactly what you're getting at, but we believe that there is a greater God than this life. A greater reason for living beyond just experiencing joy and pleasure. This story - what we went through, shows that. Watching Brittany be sent home to die with organ failure, only to wake up, have her organs come back and then that moment alone bringing her estranged family back into love and relationship... that's our proof. That's only possible by the existence of a God much bigger than ourselves.

[@bobsgirl100]

Let the church say AMEN!

[@mariamckenna808]

Go to ur hosp pharmacy. They will have what u need.

[@Beyond_Cancer]

At this point, the hospital rejected us. We had no hospital.

[@lnewbury1]

MD Anderson has been a disappointment to many I knew and loved sadly.

[@earthmedicine27]

They will take away all that you have left to fight by doing OVER OVER excessive x-rays, scans, mri's and radiation and for what??? then when you no longer are left with energy to fight and are poisoned by so much dyes and radiation then they have nothing they can do?

[@MegglesEST1983]

They should be sued..it's sad

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Like we said, we never had problems with them, but the transition-out process could use a LOT of refining. We didn't feel that they were excessive with treatments or scans. If anything, we were a bit shocked at first we weren't getting monthly scans. In hindsight, it seems like they knew what they were doing. I dunno though. If I had to do it over again, I think we'd wind up making the same decisions. But, who knows...

[@gitegoemil6400]

let me tell you about my DAD ,he followed every single sec ,there is nowhere u can hide ,there is no prison ,secret , powerful ,ask permission , hide him, change his mind , who don’t need a testimony , who love me because I did something special , who let you face a dangerous thing ,he don’t fear you gonna lost ,who don’t mind to let me die ,he control every single mind of everything , he can hide someone in front of everyone ,and let you know you gonna die ,there is no devil he see ,even thing that we think it’s super dangerous who is the one who made them look like that , he don’t fear night , darkest it’s purnishment for the devil ,u are not gonna train to know how to do this , me I’m eating slowly he gonna be weak since when I been strong ? trick ?trick for what ? worry ?worry for what ? Spend a whole night not sleeping for what , wake up thinking maybe I loose something ,what ? worry about tomorrow ? fear about what ? pay attention on who ? Pay attention to someone who is going to fight me , worry about maybe there is a trick ? that’s not my work !

[@Beyond_Cancer]

Rukundo, we believe that there is a devil. I've seen his minions. Not metaphorically. And I've seen his minions recoil at the pronouncement of Jesus name. The is a devil, and there is a Triune God - of that, I am certain. And I place my faith fully in the person of Jesus Christ, for His act on the cross. Paying the debt all mankind could never pay itself. So we could have joyous communion with the Father in heaven.