Busted by a Mall Cop #1 [ ASMR Unboxing Roleplay ]

You've been caught by Officer Murray at the Arkham Mall!
What do you mean, you didn't know the town of Arkham, Massachusetts had a mall!? Of course it does! Well.. at least it does now! Or maybe it was that you had simply wandered through a Rift. In any case, there are rumors abound that some familiar Arkham characters are applying for jobs as Mall Cops even as you read this!
Side note: this didn't start out as an Arkham (Lovecraft) based idea, otherwise I would have added some strange Lovecraftian trinkets & things, and a Lovecraftian atmosphere. I may incorporate those ideas in future episodes as we see where this little series goes..
00:06:35 Pack of sponges
00:08:15 [Redacted]
00:10:35 Dr. Strange mystery mini figure
00:13:35 Minecraft mini
00:17:55 Adventure Time mini
00:19:45 Steven Universe mini
00:21:47 Pokemon booster set
00:28:00 Five Nights at Freddy's mini
00:30:05 Puzzle cube
00:34:30 Magic the Gathering Kaladesh booster
00:40:00 Magic the Gathering Eldritch Moon booster
00:45:53 Hot Wheels car
00:49:14 Ritter Sport candy
Patreon ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
You can listen to selected works outside of KZbin:
Out now: "The ASMR Sessions Volume 2"
Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
Google Play ► bit.ly/1vPUJgF
And others like Deezer, Rhapsody, etc!
Podcasts:
EphemRadio ► apple.co/2afSkZQ
Arkham Sanitarium ►apple.co/2alraeV
Social Media:
Facebook ► / ephemeralrift1
Twitter ► / ephemeralrift
IG ► / e.rift
What is ASMR? It is both a sensation and a medium.
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response and is the current, non-scientific name given to the feeling characterized as a pleasurable tingling sensation felt in the head, scalp, back and other regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It's like goosebumps, but much more pleasant.
ASMR videos are meant to intentionally help induce this sensation, also referred to as "tingles", but also provide a relaxing, calming, soothing, therapeutic and even entertaining experience for the viewer.
Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy the videos for their calming and sleepy effect.

[@uhyup7202]

when the security does more damage than the shoplifter

[@shannondavies2405]

uh yup plot twist, the security guard kept the stolen goods for himself 🤣

[@dana999]

@@fear4397 huh...I had no idea.

[@arthurmorgan2480]

Prosecutors will be shoplifted

[@crimsonscriticalcorner9048]

Shoplifters will be prostituted

[@InvitedRhino683]

@@crimsonscriticalcorner9048 LOL

[@dawno.]

@@crimsonscriticalcorner9048 Prostitutes will be prosecuted

[@bigfish9958]

shoplifters will be shoplifted

[@masterag1962]

Liftedshops will prosecute be

[@ravenouswabbit5546]

Son : mommy why is daddy opening my Christmas presents. Mom : daddy seeing if you've tampered with any of your presents before Christmas

[@sanatoriumnugget6598]

It would suck to get sponges and aluminum foil for Christmas and if you woosh you are gay

[@staid4969]

@@sanatoriumnugget6598 r/woosh and proud

[@jemzomaclain]

@@sanatoriumnugget6598 what

[@mrpolarbear702]

@@sanatoriumnugget6598 yay i am not gay wooooo

[@yveltal5268]

R/Wellthathappened.

[@paulblart8946]

*I'm PAUL BLART and I approve of this role play.* ✋🏻👨🏻™

[@Spixiez]

Paul Blart oh damn

[@medontknowwhat7303]

Paul Blart I swear it's not mine! It's my friend's!

[@paulblart8946]

***** _I, Paul Blart, approve of this role play._ 👮🏻™

[@aveerie_]

+Paul Blart what's with the"TM"

[@supemeyodie9279]

Paul Blart

[@Thundy]

"Gonna open this up, see if you tampered with it" What an amazing mall security guard

[@NefariousDreary]

Thunder0024 Gee, I why he didn't open up the foil and sponges *ironically*

[@isetmfriendsofire]

+Vinny Raptor He didn't want those c;

[@JavRexgteneg2pIift]

Ephemeral said that line as soon as I read you're comment. lol

[@lauraowen7345]

5

[@coolishtiger6120]

True,but I would’ve done that if I was a mall security guard

[@abbeyreece3526]

"Potion drinking witch. Hmm, sounds like my wife"😂😂😂

[@FranceBall-qq7ef]

Abbey Reece I was laughing so hard 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

[@mellowhateseverybodyandals1289]

o h .

[@jordontp]

HAHA dysfunctional relationship

[@jedah2765]

Haha, I too like to joke about how dysfunctional my relationship is with my significant other.

[@typicalopposite]

Mine to If I had one

[@ReliefASMR]

I swear, whatever you find, I was just holding it for a friend...

[@jeremykyle6092]

That excuse didn't work on my cavity search :/

[@CZDMinecraft]

Jeremy Kyle The fact that your name is Jeremy Kyle makes that comment even funnier

[@TheKeefa]

Relief ASMR was it the legend 27

[@Luca-ec3ry]

TheKeefa TRIGGERED

[@adeadmeme9861]

TheKeefa I swear I didn't do it 😰

[@iamthemanbearpig]

I was expecting him to pull a receipt for everything from the bottom of the bag and have to apologize for everything.

[@TheCitedAviator]

iamthemanbearpig "glad to see nothing's been tampered with" *opens everything you stole*

[@Keshaire]

47:03 "This doesn't look like it's been tampered with" *5 seconds later* "I need to open this up"

[@JAYV45_]

Keshaire!!! As soon as I read this he says it I didn't it wasn't even planned. OMFG

[@a_ghost8926]

LOGIC

[@jeeves8742]

He just likes race cars

[@cdsatcher]

Keshaire!!! Probably double checking, making sure it hasn't been tampered with.

[@5t4r_b0i]

Chocolate Hunter omg was gonna comment this but saw that u did what a cooinkydink

[@bigsmoke167]

I got caught stealing the extra dip from Cluckin' Bell

[@christianxgames3097]

Big Smoke lol

[@haydenmarshall1881]

Big Smoke my DDDDooooogggggggg!!!

[@chiefkeave]

Big Smoke ooooohhhh

[@oli100_6]

Big Smoke I m crying xDDDDD LMAO

[@WolfeTDI]

Big Smoke OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!

[@ElishaLong]

The only Security they use at the mall near me is to play Ephemeral Rift through the sound system when chaos breaks out. Everyone falls asleep and then the authorities come in with Ear plugs and assess the situation.

[@derpherp3774]

Elisha Long why u here?

[@derpherp3774]

IcyFlame wut

[@hugznotdrugs2]

Elisha Long you are fine as helllll

[@Corkoth55]

what

[@sebastianperez3176]

Hahaha

[@dawno.]

Plot Twist: ER actually stole the stuff he showed in the video.

[@keldonworley2570]

Dawno DEADINSIDE that comma is not needed

[@reddonut1518]

@@keldonworley2570 I was just about to say that

[@megspitzer9406]

I highly doubt it

[@michaeldagostino69]

Meg Spitzer r/wooosh

[@ms.kuntmuffinstwatwaffles9262]

@@michaeldagostino69 How you gonna be late and still copy a comment?

[@Hypergen-]

Attention all units, this is officer Murray again, if someone could stop by SuperBurger™ and pick me up two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

[@timelesssilence2541]

Classic

[@marinaskye9]

Hypergen i was searching the comment section to see if anyone would say exactly what you said😂😂😂😂

[@thornhill67]

"Extra mega super cola". I wonder how much that is. I guess at least 2 gallons.

[@GamerBob123]

Attention all units could if somebody could stop by mc Donald's and pick me up 2 number 9,s number 9 large extra super mega dip and a large cola I would appreciate it

[@TheInfiniteLandscapes]

Hypergen you just had to say it

[@ASMRPowerOfSound]

It doesn't pay to shoplift. I learned my lesson (at least I got some tingles out of it)

[@frostbiteproductions3427]

Why hasn't anyone ever replied to this?

[@Doom_Hawk]

What the hell, IKR. A God drops in to provide his comment and no-one even gave him the reverence he deserved!

[@seanfarish9135]

Omg I watch your videos all the time

[@kitchingbing0545]

You sir are god

[@sofiyak]

Oh hey! I’ve seen this guys asmr 😃

[@brodiehaddon631]

“Attention all units, this is officer Murray again, if someone could also stop by SuperBurger and pick me up a double with cheese, bacon, hold the pickles, large side of curly fries and an extra super mega cooler, I would appreciate it.” I don’t know why, but I laughed so hard at this.

[@LeonardoCollywell2004]

TeleDang Can’t blame you, that was hilarious XD

[@inhisglory960]

Tf is an extra super mega cooler?

[@abbiedawn4472]

Brodie Haddon me too

[@KareemHillJr]

*cola

[@KareemHillJr]

@@inhisglory960 i think he said cola

[@Redwarrior96]

plot twist: immediately after this video you show him the receipt

[@classypopato9082]

Josh Ainsworth fucking hell

[@GlitchyErrR]

Dayum.

[@rikustorm13]

Josh Ainsworth Lmao yes

[@callmezeldaonemoartime]

Josh Ainsworth ooooooooooooo and he already opened the “merchandise”

[@delta3039]

Paul Blart 3 is looking good

[@churrocharcharm]

MidgetPanda 😂 I would so watch that movie if Rift was the main role...

[@theghost2850]

MidgetPanda It would be a whole lot better than the first two🤣

[@adamwhyte939]

Charlie The Cartoonist and

[@marcjoseph9448]

rofl

[@sheg905]

MidgetPanda I agree

[@Id4nPr3scot]

*Paul Blart, Mall Cop.*

[@annddyy]

Baul Part Call Mop

[@necro2658]

Paul Blart Mall Cop, Paul Blart Mall Cop, Bual Plart Mall Cop, Plual Balrt Call Cop, Cop Mall Paul Blart, Blart Cop Paul Mall, Mall Mart Paul Crop, Paul Plart Mall Mop.

[@giltzexuh]

CallsignBun Kekkin' Jaj Blarp Shart Tart Mart Don't mess with his barp

[@Id4nPr3scot]

CallsignBun *Ikr*

[@blueprintguy5550]

Its his friend

[@raphaelp204]

Son: What is daddy doing? Mom: Uhm, he's just in the office pretending to be a security man.

[@thomasford7674]

haha, i lol'ed

[@TheHowff]

Fam i fucking died of laughter

[@MK-rr7cg]

😂😀

[@TheInfiniteLandscapes]

Raphael Portmann haha

[@IIJoII]

I'm sorry I crumbled when he said "You need it for protection?" It's very late and I burst out laughing but worth it.

[@bobzaa1624]

Cameron Bissett when?

[@misd2119]

Cameron Bissett Why I'm lonely

[@zeeker0315]

He also said “you like the sound when they’re wet” when he pulled out a package of stolen... sponges...

[@qwest500]

This security guard is such a troll: Unwrapping things to see if you "tampered with it" and talking about random stuff lol

[@glide-to4223]

Me: (thinks the bag is full of candy) him: (pulls out sponge) Me: tf..?

[@NefariousDreary]

Glide - TO lmao!

[@rorokhorosho]

your neighbours ever given you a sponge on halloween? what’s up with that

[@avajohnson3510]

same mine would be full of weeb stuff and food XD

[@Lua0x07]

@@avajohnson3510 >weeb stuff

[@Channel-lr3pf]

If I'm stealing sponges...I...I just don't know what to say. I must really, really need a shower and have no washcloths or something.

[@menialbee]

Channel I'd rather steal a pineapple, you get both.

[@sleepypuddle6474]

Channel kleptomania is one hell of a drug

[@slywhitewolf5460]

Channel those are fucking dish sponges 🤣

[@waelo246]

You shower with a sponge??

[@sk83r59]

14:25 Rift: "Potion drinking witch? Sounds like my wife." Lmao😂

[@wilddog5910]

Ha ur wifee

[@sgt.mittens2451]

When I shoplifted, I did get to watch him unbox it, I was just shot 6 times, like a shop from a mall is the same as a bank. The legal system is corrupt and unfair.

[@thech0ice262]

You should have done big smokes order when you did the food order.

[@youngman3682]

two number 9...

[@Gab_i1]

a number 9 large

[@thech0ice262]

a number 6 with extra dip

[@CreatorCody]

the ch0ice A number 7

[@AngeloDonadio]

two number 45s

[@timelesssilence2541]

he never got his food

[@adminjimcool]

Steven184YT spoilers

[@_killab]

Yeah you're right. He Must be the only nice cop in arkham mall.

[@randomfusion4220]

Steven184 ye

[@hatz1107]

What if there is no mall, and he's at the Asylum to treat his hallucinations he had of his old days when he was a mall cop?

[@elijahhill6602]

He did. When you got kicked out of the mall.

[@thatduckjenry]

*CAUL PLART BALL MOP*

[@reddonut1518]

Ball mop

[@Geekiepoo]

I think you mean maul clart pall bop

[@skitz_4209]

And that comment was the day i found out i had DYSLEXIA

[@thatlazguy]

I had a stroke trying to read that

[@Flflxlxl]

*B*o*P*

[@Jack_The_Ladd]

Paul Cop Mall Blart.

[@captainkapalot9644]

George Costanza what fuck the

[@notaspy3751]

George Costanza not is right that...

[@notaspy3751]

OK, now we just sound like Yoda.

[@crisptugboat8764]

Max Grassy are talking about you the what fuck

[@mr.nobody7959]

George Costanza make new episodes of Seinfeld

[@AnimatedASMR]

Sir, I did not mean any harm. I was trying to get my friend Charlie Carl out of the wishing well and taking pennies. Oh? THAT bag? A Russian spy gave it to me to hold....honest.

[@Practicalidiots]

Animated ASMR Ey, I love your stuff! Especially the test pilot roleplay

[@AnimatedASMR]

Thanks! I really appreciate it.

[@penumbra4995]

Animated ASMR when will the comic thing your making come out

[@AnimatedASMR]

Unbound Sounds 👋 Hello

[@AnimatedASMR]

slendy man 10 days or less until changing ASMR forever. Thanks for your patience, champ.

[@dukeviper2293]

He opened all of our stuff

[@DOKA2001]

Viper20o why tho he should've returned it XD

[@nashhartman5194]

*our stuff

[@izukuwumidowiya301]

Don’t you mean OUR STUFF

[@yveltal5268]

Our stuff*

[@hiimbeta413]

here's the fourth one our stuff*

[@slashersize]

"We have no jurisdiction overseas... or Canada..."

[@wanderingkernel5002]

uncle uncle What about Mexico?

[@cmdrtyy]

David Hatcher the actual warm Canada?!

[@cmdrtyy]

David Hatcher some parts of Canada are warm.

[@the_dooof]

Joint task Force 2 I have never seen canada and warm in the same sentence.

[@cmdrtyy]

This Dood here are some places Windsor Ontario,Vancouver B.C and many others.

[@funployee]

The skill here is unreal, the opening few moments of this with the keyboard sounds were perfect. I'm pretty immune to the actual ASMR sensation these days (especially from creators I have followed for a long time, newcomers sometimes work) and just use the videos as a soundtrack to fall asleep to, but that did the trick.

[@delusionalskits8505]

i wish when he mentioned the tin foil hat society he lifted his cap and had some tinfoil under it

[@leaknail5101]

Me too

[@TN_Whiskey]

Me too

[@BlueInk404]

Me too

[@jackeisen2204]

Ruined

[@ooo629ooo]

Ruined

[@sunrayy95]

Surprisingly, my favorite roleplay by far. Immersive, down to earth, and actually quite believable. Great acting!

[@jasonlake2165]

Dalan H Agreed, he needs a show on adult swim

[@ncrrangerveteran2259]

Dalan H Except for the part how he opened the shoplifted items. Do you find that believable? Because if so you are very un-educated.

[@medontknowwhat7303]

Dalan H Same, it's my favorite

[@JamesonCanny]

NCR Ranger Veteran come down, that's the joke. don't roast the poor commenter, they were just spreading positivity

[@liam-540]

Dalan H ok

[@ThalinsGenohan]

ER's real name is Paul. This is perfect.

[@ajshhwzhhwja2317]

Thalins Genohan jake

[@ChronoStar]

Blart would like SuperBurger.

[@drewdecorte9217]

His name is Robert Paulson

[@sloppyjallopy896]

Thalins Genohan wait really?

[@jamesonmyers675]

Paul Clemmons, in fact

[@ProfessionalSpectre]

I'm mall security for the largest mall in my state. And I don't know how to feel about this. ANYWAY. Here's how this scenario would go where I work. 1. A store will call us for a shoplifter. Our company does NOT allow us to stop shoplifters unless the tenant is trying to do so. 2. When we catch the shoplifter, they are taken back to the store they were caught shoplifting from. If the store wants to prosecute, they'll call metro police. If it's 500 dollars or more, it's a felony. 3. Either way, the shoplifters are banned from the property for a duration between 1 year and permanently, depending on several factors such as age, value of property stolen, and attitude of those caught. Their information and picture are taken and if they are caught back on property for the duration of their ban, they are arrested for trespassing. 4. Then we have to write a long-ass report for the incident. And that's about how shoplifting incidents go. We don't take the shoplifters back to our security office and merchandise stolen from tenant's stores are handled by the tenants themselves. We typically act in accordance with the tenants. Aaannd before the obvious happens, yes, we get called "Paul Blart" on an almost daily basis. Makes me want to die.... and I hate Kevin James because of it. Oh, and it's a lot better if the radio goes around the back and over your shoulder. A lot less.... droopage in the radio line if you do it that way. AND YOUR RADIO ETIQUETTE IS AWFUL AN- why am I criticizing an ASMR video?

[@valen9835]

Because it's fun to nitpick the logic of fiction sometimes.

[@fiiv3s]

because its your area of work so you know how it actually works and even if you enjoyed the video will point out what was wrong in a nice way in hopes for a potentially more realistic yet still fun video next time?

[@5t4r_b0i]

Pokemon115 true tho lol

[@savetheplanet9131]

Since your name is Pokemon 115 did I just see this man pull a secret rare exucutrer and btw I know I can’t spell

[@cameronbeattie423]

Sorry forgot paul blart is hard

[@ethantaylor9613]

Unless the cops show up and officially arrest me I ain't sayin shit!

[@wheremybike]

+Penguin in Disguise then you have a dishearteningly large backlog

[@imbetterthanyou6927]

That camera is giving me Aperture Science vibes.

[@AleutianSailor]

A Noir Story MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK.

[@imbetterthanyou6927]

Jacob Carey GET MAD!

[@strawhaticey95]

Just shoot a Portal on the wall and another on the floor and the camera would fall off :) I think that's a portable wall.

[@ussbased-a7074]

Portal Walls are white

[@crisptugboat8764]

DerpySquid 1 couldn't the portal gun shoot portals on more than just the white walls? Or am I wrong?

[@Crzy520]

25:08 Omfg he pulled a secret rare without even knowing

[@j.rqueefenstein4773]

I know I went ducking insane

[@j.rqueefenstein4773]

*fucking

[@jimby0513]

Fuck

[@SupposedFish]

I got that card once

[@okamizero7130]

That's a rare i had 3 of em but not one single voltorb wtf

[@shelby2901]

i can't believe paul blart caught me and also that he wears tin foil hats

[@shelby2901]

Pizza Mozerella i didn't come here to get attacked

[@pizzamozerella5360]

phil's crusty treats Why would I fucking care lmao

[@pizzamozerella5360]

phil's crusty treats I wasn't really being serious but if you want to be like that I can follow up on my promise.

[@shelby2901]

Pizza Mozerella i was joking

[@loptylou4727]

sportiflop

[@tdurgan1921]

I'm trying to shoplift but TheMallCop27 keeps catching me

[@punkblade1241]

Some say TheMallCop27 was the first mall cop

[@skrumpo]

Punkblade Born from the malls

[@spaghettimeister2453]

Others say that he was the only mall cop to act like he was a police officer to then actually become one

[@DavidWilson-jd8fs]

I heard he can see through ur bag

[@ifeelcoke4347]

Snipes4Dayz normies....-_-

[@wheathead]

10:33 my friend is Joel 28:44 my friend is Ellie Let's kill some clickers shall we?

[@bxked213]

hate clickers

[@skullydapungod6080]

Like how he said hed steal that action figure

[@fmradio4908]

Tf is a clicker?

[@JoelitoStriker]

​@@fmradio4908 a zombie from The Last of Us

[@whatamidoinghere6603]

I noticed that too 😅

[@DP-xy7ps]

Raindrop, drop top, my name is Paul Blart, mall cop

[@Anonymouseyoutuber]

DP King raindrop, drop top, stretching so hard made my back pop

[@leonk7201]

DP King pure Gold 👌

[@flyonytemalhammar3045]

DP King rain drop,drop top a dp king you are not not

[@Clearly_Eli]

DP King DP king!!?!?!? *^*

[@Clearly_Eli]

Warped Reality grounded...v,v

[@soulstealz4953]

*I'd go to jail for my sponge Bob family*

[@ShizukuMizuchi1]

I love how when he stole the foil for protection Murray just corrects his choice of foil because Aluminum is incorrect, I cracked up laughing.

[@ijoth1294]

Autonomous Sensory Mall Response

[@EndiXIV]

Busted by a Mall Cop *#1* Number one?! spicyy

[@ananbrooke189]

Uncle Bubbles look @ this net that I just found

[@copter12349]

Anna Wener When I say go, be ready to throw!

[@chelseadee3]

Rift has tons of single episodes series hahaha

[@ghostmutt4684]

Copter12349 THROW IT AT HIM NOT ME!

[@Shadow_Beatz]

Chloe Downes ugh let's try something else

[@samoldenkamp7393]

I swear, that who ever stole the stuff has to be a 10 year old

[@leaknail5101]

What 10 year old steals sponges

[@dani26107]

Leak Nail maybe he really likes spongebob

[@Jade-rq4jj]

An Abnormally Large Cucumber he wanna recreate it 😂😂😂

[@NefariousDreary]

Or me

[@juletlandret6329]

Leak Nail 10 year old SpongeBob fans of course 😂

[@combatak47]

Do you think he uses these costumes with his wife

[@whatevername902]

combatak47 Oh BOIIIII

[@aaustinhh3097]

combatak47 yeah I saw him usi...nvm

[@ncrrangerveteran2259]

What if he doesn't have a wife? I'm just saying it's a possibility. y'know.

[@kermit7139]

NCR Ranger Veteran well he wears a wedding band a lot 💍💍

[@robertstirling2798]

NCR Ranger Veteran He's married and has a kid about ten years old.

[@patrickb3032]

"I don't know why I'm asking you, I should be asking all the questions here." lol

[@ConcealedWeaponry]

Mall Cop: "Are you stealing all this merchandise for yourself?" Me: "No, it's all for a friend." Mall Cop: "Okay." Mall Cop: "Venonat..." Me: *DAMN IT I WANTED THAT.*

[@mancheaseskrelpher8419]

How come nobody's mentioning the great props? The security camera's light even blinks!

[@themorninghawk7348]

I just realized that he said this during the aluminum foil part: "You need it for PROTECTION?" I don't think foil is a good, comfortable barrier.

[@QuoteIzkewl]

Jeremy Berry Not that kind of "protection"

[@okamizero7130]

Jeremy Berry it's more efficient though right?

[@rogainegaming6924]

@@okamizero7130 tin foil doesnt do anything to stop radio waves

[@rogainegaming6924]

@@okamizero7130 tin foil amplifies radio waves if put into a hat like rift does

[@cripplingdepression2513]

I don't think it's a good condom either

[@itshozz2582]

Him: sees sponge and foil His head: no my son won't like that Him: sees toys " I'm gonna have to look at it to make sure you did not temper with them." His head:" yes my son will love these."

[@papercuts3350]

Me: _Runs_ Him: _Whispers_ Hey stop! Me: What was that? I dIdNt HeAr YoU

[@JohnDoe-hd3wz]

"You like the sound when they're wet? You find it relaxing?" Me: Hell yea I love the sound of moistness

[@hiimbeta413]

@@bingus.mp4257 i mean, same but...

[@bullet5547]

What

[@pixel8119]

this is true degeneracy

[@aliattia62]

Paul Blart really kept his New Years resolution

[@Thumper17]

"We have no jursidiction in Canada." Oh thank God. Good luck from being Canadian.

[@jacobmonday8249]

"What the hell was my password again?" Lmao the best part of the video.

[@spiritmint5929]

Dude, did you digitally insert those props on the wall, or did you really go and hook up a camera to the wall? Either way, impressive.

[@TheAdventurousHermits]

spiritmint it's all real he goes all out!

[@ussbased-a7074]

spiritmint You can get fake cameras that you temporarily attach to the wall

[@benjamimbaker6046]

spiritmint You can tell by the shadows.

[@thomastheclassengine8442]

TFW You spend around £200 trying to get the exeggcutor secret rare and paul blart gets it on a random booster pack.

[@k871-w9z]

00:06:35 Pack of sponges 00:08:15 [Redacted] 00:10:35 Dr. Strange mystery mini figure 00:13:35 Minecraft mini 00:17:55 Adventure Time mini 00:19:45 Steven Universe mini 00:21:47 Pokemon booster set 00:28:00 Five Nights at Freddy's mini 00:30:05 Puzzle cube 00:34:30 Magic the Gathering Kaladesh booster 00:40:00 Magic the Gathering Eldritch Moon booster 00:45:53 Hot Wheels car 00:49:14 Ritter Sport candy

[@password1300]

8:31 is alluniumium foil

[@hugznotdrugs2]

"I know you stole this goddamn candle from Bath and Body, don't lie!"

[@PLANDerLinde99]

No jurisdiction over seas? I'm free to go then, Cheerio!

[@kuroseal8613]

Shadsy The Hedgehog same

[@PLANDerLinde99]

Lol

[@optusonofefftee9085]

For any bodies interest the light on the security camera flashes 5648 times

[@A_Random_Rat]

*_WRONG_* The light flashes approximately once per second. The video is 55:00 mins long. 55:00 mins is equal to 3,300 seconds. So it flashed 3,300 times.

[@immortalwarrior5562]

@@A_Random_Rat I like the fact that you used math to prove him otherwise . Nice choice

[@dogmeat-5740]

thanks

[@logansprecher9688]

@@A_Random_Rat you are wrong as well due to the light only flashing every 2 seconds so 3,300÷2 would equal 1,650. Thanks.

[@ffffff8048]

@@logansprecher9688 video cuts a few times so its not 100% accurate

[@ASMRBass]

We have a clean shaving policy here at the Arkham Mall, you're fired...

[@NiteShiftSound]

This was a great role play I actually work security myself lol

[@darksector_0675]

Me to. It's great

[@jhall1859]

no you dont

[@Maurice1]

@@jhall1859 goofy

[@Maurice1]

@@darksector_0675 it’s not

[@k-fedd]

So who gave you that canvas bag? Oh Joel. Who's this freind your willing to risk going to jail for? Oh Ellie... nice name.

[@ghfdt368]

Wow, the attention to detail is very impressive, also some of Rifts best work right here. But I want the pickles :)

[@hudibrad]

Aluminum foil won't protect you from aluminati... I'll show myself out.

[@kuroseal8613]

Ha Vran illuminati*

[@SirNeutral]

illuminaughty*

[@JMBAD_art]

Ha Vran - I appreciate this pun

[@beeasmr6235]

I love how much he puts into all his videos. The editing, the mood and feeling (and the comedy 😂) all while feeling natural. Cuz other ASMRtists try to do role plays and it’s really awkward and you can tell they’re trying to hard, but he makes everything really funny and it feels so real, all while giving ASMR. and he puts so much editing and costumes into it. Like his whole outfit rn and even the camera? Like ugh this is just so great. Good job man. 💗

[@zacharysears8502]

Halt,You've commited crimes agaisnt skyrim and her people,What say you in your defense?

[@zinkerzanker68]

Youre stolen goods are now forfeit! We must check these potentially and most likely untampered items to see if theyve been tampered with, by tampering them

[@dylantaslim5013]

Hold on lemme just *cycles through races, skin colors and facial features*.

[@justherefortheviolence]

I think he’ll do an elder scrolls video eventually

[@a_ghost8926]

Yesn't

[@nonwrathia9730]

IM INNOCENT. THERE WAS NO SIGN SAYING I COULDNT STEAL THE ANIMALS, GOODDAY.

[@richard_pine]

While watching this, I dropped my phone on my face. Go me.

[@SirNeutral]

How's your face?

[@richard_pine]

SirNeutral My face is still looking as good as ever, thank you for asking.

[@SirNeutral]

George Gyser Excellent.

[@kuroseal8613]

George Gyser 10/10 gg wp

[@homestuckasmr9776]

George Gyser love your profile pic! XD

[@Gamer_Dylan_6]

Best ER quote of the RP: “What is this, Minecraft?” Edit: Real best quote of the RP: “Potion drinking witch? Sounds like my wife”

[@R0ckst4r0ck3r]

This is officer Mary, I'm gonna need two number nines, a number six with extra dip, one number fourty five, and a large soda.

[@svenondabeat1133]

R0ckst4r0ck3r you missed a number nine large, a number 7, and a number 45 with cheese

[@Mystery__Otaku]

So I JUST realized that Joel and Ellie was probably a reference to "The Last Of Us".

[@aydynslade1656]

MysteryOtakuChick ye boi

[@gsoto9107]

Aydyn Barclay longest yeah boiii ever

[@callmezeldaonemoartime]

“Gonna open this up to see if it was tampered with” oh my God...

[@stemed_cms1349]

Zelda

[@gamingmetnoel1900]

@@stemed_cms1349 You madlad

[@darkdisneyasmr3996]

Rift its my birthday 😄 thanks so much for the video perfect timing

[@Chuckles_The_Goat_Clown]

Happy birthday :o)

[@darkdisneyasmr3996]

GaMzEe MaKaRa thank you!!

[@Chuckles_The_Goat_Clown]

You're welcome :o)

[@Shizaho]

Happy Birthday :)

[@darkdisneyasmr3996]

Skytriqqer thank you! 😊

[@Billz666]

Please do another nature video rift :(

[@EphemeralRift]

i would have this weekend with all the snow, but the temperature was far below my camera's operating temperature. But don't worry, I haven't abandoned them.

[@Chronas9.9]

Billz666 Uncle Rift will never abandon nature :)

[@Toshipie325]

Glad to hear it, I love those videos! I really liked this video man, it was really good. I can tell you put a lot of time into it and it made for a great unique video. :)

[@samisasloth]

can you do another of this I loved it

[@REDLANTERN1780]

Would you like me to knit your camera a cozy sweater for next year?

[@texasp.i.8283]

Dude actually looks like the Security Guards at my mall. l think you did a great job.

[@parlemor7267]

Must be the 8th or 9th time I'm watching this and I'm still only at 14min.. I keep falling asleep! :p

[@unkillablebestyoutube8952]

I'm at 22:11 and not even sleepy...

[@generalraven9804]

Same

[@fishbonesinc]

I know how he came up with this roleplay. He found a hat that said "security", boom! Video.

[@ColdInTheStudio]

This is my absolute favorite video of yours, and of any ASMR I've found! The gentle tapping you do on the playing cards is one of the only sounds that has consistently given me real ASMR tingles, and it's really rare that I get them! Thank you for making this!

[@Anslow_dnb]

If I had known that being busted meant getting fire-ass tingles I probably would've stolen that kid a long time ago..

[@ryank.34]

I love your creativity:)!

[@notthatguypal14]

Other officer “Text me your order, that’s too much to remember”

[@haydenmarshall1881]

I once tried to steal a halo mega Bloks pack (I was mentally ill at the time ) the worst part was not the police it was I never knew what I could have got

[@haydenmarshall1881]

alkoal haha yeh IV dedicated my KZbin channel to it as a reminder of the dark times

[@NCRranger24]

+Knight Solaire he's trying to be edgy and cool, leave him alone lol

[@Torraim]

Hayden Marshall mentally ill at the time? is that a thing or are you trying to say you were high

[@haydenmarshall1881]

Dark Gemini there are kids here I can't say high but yeh I have a family which kinda influenced negative things on me aka I was high

[@cjsport98]

This is absolutely hilarious. The only mall security role play ever XD

[@applepokerpie246]

cjsport98 I died at "Imma tear this open, seeI you tampored with it."

[@LuckyArceus]

Yep. Time to see if this unopened product was tampered with.

[@andrewcryan1]

My top 3 ASMR artists: 1/ EphemeralRift 2/ GentleWhispering 3/ theASMRnerd

[@Blue-bv1ur]

andrewcryan1 My top 3 1. Mickelous 2. Ephemeral Rift 3. Dr.Tingles not in any order.

[@andrewcryan1]

Cheers for the introduction to D.Tingles

[@bookmulch7379]

andrewcryan1 my top 3 (no order) are EPHEMERAL RIFT DALTONASMR aaaah... I can't remember.. probly will address later.

[@Blue-bv1ur]

andrewcryan1 check his OGtingles series one of my fav.

[@chagis100]

My top 3 (No order) SensorAdi Ephemeral Rift easyASMR

[@rootytootymcshooty9568]

I thought he was going to eat the sponges because he was hokding them like a burger and he wanted one in the beggining lol

[@ColdInTheStudio]

This is my favorite video of yours so far - I come back to it all the time! The gentle tapping you do on the Pokemon and Magic cards is the most tingles I've ever experienced!

[@froggieball3809]

what am I doing in life it's 1:30 in the morning and I'm watching asmr videos

[@Flight-wo6jn]

noname your profile picture makes this comment absolutely hilarious.

[@warbossgloppygit1545]

1:35 I win

[@kileki4548]

Pyromaniac Ewok 1:56

[@juriendotcom]

Now is the time to say, “ *I need to get my shit together and go outside* ”

[@genericname_]

How does a hamburger take almost an hour to be made?

[@DP-xy7ps]

Their segways are pretty slow

[@NMEstewy]

Generic Name Lazy mall cops

[@kelpnougatcrunch9430]

Generic Name it was a really good hamburger

[@ThalinsGenohan]

Generic Name He likes it really well done. It's ashes in a bun.

[@svenondabeat1133]

ordered, made, and delivered

[@Lyndonmaman]

"Attention all units, this is Officer Murray again. If someone could also stop by Super Burger and pick me up 2 Number 9's, a Number 9 Large, a Number 6 with extra dip, a Number 7, two Number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda, I would appreciate it."

[@DasCapschen]

idk why but I read "busted by a mail cop" and thought "this is Stasi all over again" xD

[@trinity7223]

"I take it this is the first time you've been caught stealing?" *"Yeah. The first time I've been CAUGHT stealing."*

[@TechnoSinister]

Paul Blart is at it again

[@bravotwisted4541]

“Of course we have no restriction over seas or Canada” Mexico:Am I a joke to you?

[@hughholmes9961]

"potion drinking witch? Sounds like my wife" LEGIT DYING

[@ericaleslie257]

Thought he said... WENCH!!😂💖

[@sgt.mittens2451]

Like the orphans