ESFJ, let's pour into YOU for a change...

[@samtatalferez3439]

I am an ESFJ, and I think I identify with everything you said, it is one of the few videos about my personality that I have liked and that I have found respectful. I have heard and read comments about how my personality type is the worst of all, and to be honest I was led to hate my personality. I am working on accepting my personality type with everything that comes with it. Over time I have realized that many people took me for granted and hurt me in many ways, because I was really committed to the friendship we had, which led me to limit my group of friends to practically zero, taking care only of my family. I think I've been happier since I stopped looking for friends, and I don't mean to stop socializing but rather to not allow them to get too close to me. I think I'm close to being a proud ESFJ. I thank you for the video, I have managed to identify things that I need to work on. Again thank you very much.

[@nadasalehh]

I can relate to you when you said you "hated" your personality at a point. As an ESFJ, i felt the same. There were less positive comments and opinions about esfjs online. But lately, I've been trying to accept myself and all my flaws and trying to find a way to fix everything that needs work.

[@ImenBen12]

We should create a group chat! Haha, I agree in that this video is very good, respectful and she really explains well every point thoroughly!! I'm sorry you read negative comments about our personality I was so surprised when I came across them . I think some other personality types get triggered the moment they see comments like "we are the most popular people and we care about our social status" ect when in reality there is SO much depth to our personalities and we truly care about others and always put ourselves in their shoes. We value loyalty, harmony, love and team playing. :)

[@jasoncisney6366]

As an INFP, some of my most favorite people in my life have been ESFJ's, I don't think I'd be here today without them. Yall have so much to offer the world and I guarantee there's so many people that appreciate your personalities more than you know. I believe all personalities are vital to this world, we wouldn't make it without each other.

[@ImenBen12]

@@jasoncisney6366 God bless your soul !! Very sweet of you to say im so glad to hear you're in a much better place too :) . From an ESFJ

[@benny2635]

Who tf hates esfj’s?😭☠️

[@lunangellus]

hi! ESFJ here. I am a computer science student, and as you said, it is not my thing. It was not my decision to start with, I was just had an interest in technology because I am Gen Z, but that was it. My fam told me to try it, and now I am trapped. They know how high is the salary of tech workers and not allowing me to change my majors. But the biggest problem is, I even myself do not know what I want to major in. This is the root of all problems, not knowing what you want. I just know that I want my job to be people related. Also, you are right, I was avoiding myself and was helping others. I think it is because I do not feel enough sometimes, as if after I meet those expectations, I will be enough. I feel tired for real. Anyways, thank you for a supportive video! Appreciate it

[@cpt.awesome5100]

Thank you. I'm an INFP-A. My fiance is an ESFJ-T. Watching this so I can give her what she needs and hopefully stop stressing her out as much. She loves me so much I want to keep her happy as much as I can.

[@Gangst3r4ever]

I may be an ESFJ but I'm not stupid. I learn from my own experiences and they tell me to mind my own feelings, to not become too emotionally involved too fast, to not waste my time with friends who use me (unless i have no one to talk to) and I also became very very jaded with people in general. I mean I wanted to bring some changes a few years ago so I became politcally active but after seeing how stupid people are I cooled it down a lot. I'm not saying I don't want to help anymore ,I do. But I'm a lot more temperate. Also, due to my strong sense of identity and honor I never try to be someone I'm not or pretent to like something just to get along with someone else. If your haircut sucks I will probably say it and that's why some people hate me and others appreciate me

[@Gangst3r4ever]

@Prathik Well done Sherlock

[@IkeOg]

ESFJs are great... from a distance

[@bluestingerborg]

I agree

[@yashoneyhoney843]

Wow as an ESFJ I really try to be loyal. I have never told anyones secrets to anyone even if we’re not friends anymore, and I would never ever tell anyones secret… thank you for telling me, I now know that people don’t feel safe telling secrets to me 😊

[@shelby477]

That's was main thing that stood out to me also. I'm dead loyal and always have been. I can't even remember all the secrets entrusted to me and I've never told. But while watching this it came to me that i have so many experiences with close family members betraying my secrets starting from a very young age, I could have developed that core value of trust and honesty out my own pain. Maybe you observed the damage from gossip or secret betrayal, or even experienced it yourself. That may be why we are trustworthy. On that other hand, i know i can come off as flighty, tho I can't think of the exact right word. Or as she explained, if we don't seem grounded, it may automatically cause some people to think twice regarding how honorable we are. .

[@yashoneyhoney843]

@Prathik I guess someone’s mad huh. I know a lot of ESFJ’s and none of them has ever let me down. They’re all loyal soo

[@klairajones6042]

I agree. I thrive on being the most loyal and trustworthy friend possible and I would NEVER spill secrets. Its just not right!!🤔

[@amazinggraciegurl]

She doesn't mean every ESFJ would do this. An unhealthy ESFJ with underdeveloped Ti usage would be prone to this, but a healthy ESFJ would be more considerate.

[@Melissasaved]

Hey, I'm a fearful avoidant turbulent ESFJ. Learning about Attachment and the 16 personalities is so helpful to me. I grew up with a single mom in a wheel chair, because she had Multiple Sclerosis since I was four. I had to learn to cook, do laundry and so much more very early. I also got very independent because I did everything alone. I had no siblings. My attachment to my mom got broken, when she had to go to the hospital for some weeks, and I stayed with two different families I didn't know before. My mother was very introverted. I was the opposite, I got to know a lot of my neighbors, some of them I adopted as grandparents. When I was six I saw my best friend the first time, I was sure I would do everything to get her as my best friend (I tried to learn Englisch for her, because I thought she was speaking English) but it turned out it was Swiss-German, so not too different to German (my mother language). We got really good friends, I also started to play the violin, because she did. But after one year her family moved to Switzerland. I thought "if I would have done something better/different, she would have stayed" another person left me (my mother when she went to the hospital was the first person). With my best friend I was really good at school, we had fun doing everything together. After she went away, I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me and being jealous of all the other people that had great friendships. I started some new friendships, but they were not very healthy. Two years later my best friend came back, I was so happy! But now there was a competition between my best friend another friend. And I partially hated my best friend for leaving me. I even hit her a couple of times. I feel so bad. But she forgave me. After another two years my best friend went back to Switzerland. But just before she left I found my second best friend. When I just got to know here, I kind of set it as a goal to get her as my best friend. And it worked. I think she is an ENFJ. So we have a lot in common. I lived with her the half year before my mother did (I just turned 12 when my mother died). After that my father who I only usually saw three times a year decided that I can live with him, so I had to move into a different city. All the different friendships, I had many (also with adults, grandmas (I'm an only child, they like to have adult friends)), I left behind. In the new city I had great luck with my violin teacher who was my undercover therapist. After one year living with my dad he decided he will move to his girlfriend in Switzerland, but I had to stay in Germany, because Switzerland is too expansive. So I went into an orphanage. I had great caregivers, but the children and their stories made me depressive. So I asked my (first) best friend and her parents if I can live with them, they said yes, and I showed my father: I can live in Switzerland, even if it is expansive. I lived there for two and a half years. I got deep into personal development and esoteric. It helped, but I also got addicted to it. I also didn't think I would deserve the mansion my best friends family was living in. And I still had the problem of being bad at school, I had that since my best friend first left me, after second grade. Because of all the trauma, and inner problems I decided I didn't want to live there any more. I moved to my father and worked on a farm and in his clinic. Then I thought, perhaps I just should go back to the city I grew up in, so I did that. I was pretty good in school there because I was with my (second) best friend in one class and I was living with her family. Until I turned 18. Now I'm 19 and in the US. Because of immigration I could not work so I'm tring to fix myself. If anyone ever reads this, come follow me on Instagram X) @melissamattheus / @joyfullveganketo

[@lunangellus]

What a heart touching share! Thank you for sharing! You overcame lots of things. Followed u on Instagram - another ESFJ

[@kevinlulu6683]

Thanks for sharing your life. Stay positive and take care of yourself as well ! Your kind heart can't do nothing but attract good people around you.

[@schmooplesthesecond5997]

i used to be an ESFJ guy, got bullied, taken advantage of, and disrespected in different workplaces. hopped from one job to another. i got so jaded, i become unemployed on purpose during covid for 2 years. after spending so much in time in Ti mode, i become an INTP. now that i think about it, INTP 4 functions are the exact same as ESFJ but on the exact opposite order. i think ESFJ could possibly be the type i most attracted to

[@dreamchaser7603]

The whole time I was thinking about Taylor Swift :) she’s the perfect example of ESFJ

[@brandonmiles8174]

Is she? I've heard people say she's actually an INFJ while others say she's definitely not, but she claims she's highly introverted, and she actually spends a lot of time in isolation and in her music.

[@htpm325]

Taylor Swift is a narcissist. She is not someone to idolise.

[@lyame]

​@@brandonmiles8174 esfjs can be introverts

[@carolineferreli8918]

I love ESFJs. Thank you so much for these MBTI videos. I think it's the best MBTI content that I've seen, because it's so complete, precise and accurate, and I love the fact that you don't put down any of the types but talk about the things that you like about them. Coming from an ISFP

[@EmIdc]

As an ESFJ, the pandemic really forced me to use my introverted sensing and it made me a lot calmer I think. The Ti I really need to work on, because it occured to me that even my very close friends don't share very personal things with me and that's probably because I tend to badmouth people I don't like. Which is something I don't really like about myself tbh, I've been stopping myself lately from talking shit when it's only based on things I've HEARD and not actual facts. Very helpful video!

[@magicalpasta5462]

Me who had toxic relationships in the past and spent years in the relationship bc I didn't want them to be upset or depressed, but ignoring how horrible they are until i met my current boyfriend who opened my eyes to how horrible my exes were. 😢😭

[@wijdanalmaymuny6617]

Never understood myself better!!!! Thank you so much

[@Melissasaved]

You are so right about that! I first got the result of enfj (in the German version of the 16 personalities), it didn't completely resonate with me. Some years later a book recommended the test again, and this time I did it in English, and I got esfj! It completely resonates. It's so true. I also have a fearful avoidant attachment style, I think this also contributed to the first result (enfj). Anyways, happy that I found it out.

[@yournidom6512]

Interestingly, this video inspired a one hour reflection, entitled "Leadership". Specifically there were three points you brilliantly discussed (absolutely awesome) that helped me think through my work as Co- Director with two ESFJs. If you have an hour to spare, please let me know your thoughts.

[@LVMAX_channel]

Thanks from ESFJ ,this is the best video I have ever seen !

[@theodoreturner5567]

I am an INTP married to an ESFJ. She makes my life so much easier.

[@Rockpaper2424]

My INTP is so reserved. I feel like he's still an unknown person after so much of time🥲

[@iramaloneofficial]

ESFJ here. I’m the one that is over-glorifying people. I’m the one getting too attached! I need help! 😩

[@beedeekay4328]

Excited for the ISTP video!

[@naeemajohnson6065]

I love this. I think my mother in law is esfj

[@trevorfrayne6418]

I find these videos with understanding how I can relate and see other types of struggles. In some cases, even help other types. This coming from an INTJ or ENTJ. I haven't figure out which but I'm leaning on INTJ. The Ni Te combination wants to solve problems. I've had to learn that every problem presented to you isn't for you to solve.

[@trevorfrayne6418]

I believe my Lead Op at work is an ESFJ. She seems to always get the team together for gifts for different people's milestones. She really brings warmth to a team in a factory. My team leads ISTJ seems to really appreciate her.

[@ashleyching5786]

Oh wow, I’ve seen the 3rd and 4th functions flipped in the model!

[@ashleyching5786]

Safety, everyone belongs

[@Ltlbrthr12]

Very enlightening, thank you so much. I liked myself before but now so much more 😏 Good things!

[@colleenq7]

I found this video helpful as an ESFJ who is just learning about all of this. What is your personality type?

[@skrillawarlock]

First time I took it it gave me a rare personality type one of the top 3 last time I took it I got the most common personality type … makes me feel funny probably not a good thing to be interested in

[@glueball214]

Great video ❤️‍🔥I had thought that sounded like a cool type. I don’t think I know any. .. yet, anyways. 💙

[@bellavlogs8146]

Hi, I just wondering what you studied to know all about the personality types and what you do as a job. I really want to pursue a career in what you do. Did you go to University/College or online? I would really appreciate if you got back to me. Also thank you for your amazing videos :)

[@beedeekay4328]

You should make videos on enneagram

[@EltonTop]

28:10 😕Thanks, really.

[@ashleyching5786]

Inviting homes

[@ashleyching5786]

3rd function - Overused weakness

[@ashleyching5786]

Exploring and creating

[@ashleyching5786]

ESFJ - Project friends

[@ashleyching5786]

Interested more in people than the technical

[@ashleyching5786]

Morphing to who is in the room

[@nickhyder9141]

I wish Alexis made a video for INFP's like this. the INFP video's are....disappointing in content.

[@lucreziacogno2498]

I am an ESFJ but i dont' really relate to this type of personality and I have taken the test multiple times

[@SakuraCerulean92]

What is your type, Alexis?

[@alexsantana3588]

You look like an INFP. Do you get that a lot?

[@joiamed8544]

Madders

[@yessumify]

My mom is either esfj or enfp. I'm not sure 😕

[@renbrent2314]

Really easy way to tell....is she neat or messy😂

[@C4rl05XD]

is not only esfj gosisping and being fake comeon, i see o lot of other perosonality type being straight fake

[@SunscreenAndVitamins]

I can't stand ESFJs. I unfortunately had one do my taxes one time, and she screwed up something simple because she was more interested in nattering about her dogs. You can't trust them with anything important.

[@AlexisKingsley]

That's unfortunate you had that experience. I've met some lovely and unhealthy ESFJs.

[@naeemajohnson6065]

I'm sure you missed typed her. Esfj's take their time to make sure everything is done right. I mean they really really take their time

[@ImenBen12]

@@naeemajohnson6065 exactlyyy !!! I'm so confused with that initial comment and I can't stand when some people try make out like we don't have depth too us when we truly do !

[@shelby477]

And that is the the perfect example of hating an entire group based on the actions of one person. And judging one person on one mistake and apparently having no idea that there may be other reasons for that mistake.

[@SunscreenAndVitamins]

@@shelby477 Have had countless unpleasant interactions with hundreds of ESFJs. Obviously I can't list them all. You must be a Sensor.