8 Things ENFPs Need In A Partner

Hello ENFPs and ENFP lovers! A few weeks back I published a video on the top mistakes my type tends to make in relationships... and then realized I was leaving something out, which is our side of the story.
It takes two to make any relationship thrive. But there are some ways we can set ourselves up for dating success as ENFPs, whether we're with an INTJ, ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ, ESFP, ISFP, ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, ISTP or even a fellow ENFP.
What are your non-negotiables as either an ENFP or someone who loves one? Let me know below AND remember that the ENFP Soul Bootcamp course is available on www.heidipriebe.com if you haven't checked it out yet.
LOVE YOU ALL.
Musicbed Sync ID:
MB01XD2ZZE7MZKK

[@niinjaslayer6394]

Dear ENFPs, INFJ here. You’ve never once failed. Every “setback or failure” is just linked progress towards your next goal. Always a learning moment. I like being a mountain to your storms, I see through the mist, you will be okay.

[@malek6610]

Aww thank you

[@donutc1731]

Aww I almost cry 😭 THANK YOU✨🙏🏻

[@alexaarrah696]

Thank you

[@lastminutewonder9602]

U single? 😘

[@adipsous]

Wow, what a great, nice, fantastic thing to say. I've never felt this type of understanding, support, and self-revelation from a comment, ever. I, literally, love you.

[@fatimarizvi1270]

1. Someone who supports your need for novelty/variety (while having a nice balance of grounding you) 2.High quality and intellectual simulation (who is curious, excited about life, looks at things in depth) 3.Someone who is confident enough to be okay with your huge social circle 4.Mutual autonomy (as an ENFP, you are really independent as well). We are not good at setting boundaries so having someone who already has a strong autonomy, knows their boundaries and has confidence is helpful. 5.Prioritizing experiences over the “material”. Example: A nice simply home close to fam/friends rather than a huge expensive house 6364 miles away. 6. Ability to also be fun, silly and light-heartedness 7. Someone who already has a strong sense of self so it minimizes you putting them on a (false) pedestal. 7. Someone who is excited for growth! Its so important for you to want to motivate, encourage and see best in people. Otherwise, you feel your gifts are wasted. Hence, find someone with a growth mindset

[@sf5823]

Cool, thanks for note taking! xxx

[@yannahvale99]

Oh an intp or isfp? 😳 The description fits so well

[@snottylottie]

Yessss

[@caeciliaina]

@@yannahvale99 hello then 🙋🏻‍♀️ - ENFP 😁

[@medbiblee5907]

💯💯

[@royalsaiyanelite198]

I am an INTJ currently madly in love with an ENFP and I thought this video was adorable.

[@rinvarga6366]

ENFPs are the most beautiful souls I have ever met, & I just want to see them shine! I'm an INFP myself, and to see someone who's so similar but also has such unique strengths & gifts to offer is phenomenal to witness! No one should feel like they have to stifle themselves or hide who they really are, and it saddens me to see ENFP making themselves smaller just to fit the views of their partners. Find someone who can meet you at your level so you can shine your brightest!

[@RachelSings21]

Thank you Rin ♥️

[@hivicar]

I agree, as an INFP who has been cherishing my limited moments with an ENFP.

[@debra05]

Aw, thank you. This comment means a lot. Too many comments about being weird or shut out can create a dark ENFP. The bubbly silly enthusiasm socializing falls mainly on me and no one to bring me out when I go dark. I will say that my husband is an INFP and he has made it a life mission to remind me of all my good traits!

[@davidduran2984]

@@RachelSings21 0

[@mj-rg9kp]

That was so sweet, you must be such a kindhearted person to be around! Btw is Rin your real name? It’s so unique and has a pretty, whimsical ring to it.

[@okieusa3979]

ENFPs are not looking for someone with all the answers, they are looking for someone who is asking the questions. Einstein said it: Don't listen to the person who has the answers: listen to the person who has the questions.

[@jamielyn9923]

So good! As an ISFJ, I’m constantly asking questions with the ENFP I’m interested in. I’m naturally curious and really like to dig deep to get to know someone so that comes with a boat load of ??’s

[@RobertGotschall-y2f]

One good question is better than two good answers. 😂

[@bolobolo_o]

​@jamielyn9923 Hi, I'm really curious about something; like you said, you are an Isfj, and as one, what does your dynamic with the Enfp is like? And what drew you to them ?

[@SuperRararar]

My ENFP brain is loving how fast you speak 👏

[@zebakhawaja]

Yes... me too I didn't have to increase the speed at all...

[@sohamsomvanshi6196]

Hehe ..... extremely true 😂

[@Wes-Tyler]

A video where 2x speed is finally fast enough 🥰

[@kirstenweyter4431]

Discovering that I could speed up voice tracks on YT up to 2x from another ENFP… priceless!! 💸

[@AceSavi]

Hahaha yeah 🎉🎉🎉❤❤

[@vlandorrackhum5420]

I agree, we shouldn't worry about the type. What we should focus on in a relationship is having a healthy shared growth.

[@niinjaslayer6394]

True, which can be determined by your type. Shared growth and understanding is essential. INFJ here

[@chrisvaughn4399]

Ironically (and conversely).. because different types have entirely different motivations and values, everything becomes a matter of perspective. For each of us, only certain types are capable of whatever we individually define 'healthy shared growth' to be.

[@r12-z1v]

INFJ here-- I found myself smiling through your whole video. If you are a typical ENFP, then ENFPs are very charming. :)

[@its_magic9516]

Haha i actually don't see her different than other youtubers who are explaining stuff. Enfp here

[@r12-z1v]

@@its_magic9516 I think it has something to do with how she presents herself in a way that is friendly, genuine and informative. INFJ's pick up very easily on insincerity. For example, think of the fake friendliness of people who are trying to get you to buy something-- they may have the same expressions and motions, but something is not right, not genuine. The expression in the eyes is a big part of it, but it is more than that. She doesn't have an ulterior motive. Also, she makes a lot of interesting points, very quickly. INFJs like to ponder each point and then come to a conclusion about it, and she makes a lot of good ones very quickly. She seems to know what she is talking about. This captured my attention and held it because I didn't get bored, or dismissive if I didn't agree with something. The combination of seeming trustworthy and knowledgeable is what disarmed me. Not sure if what I said will make sense.

[@sirphil13]

I can see how we INFJ's are attracted to your personality. I'm in my head a lot deep diving on various subject matters, I'm either in the past introspecting or in the future planning or going thru various scenarios to find the healthiest outcome. Being with someone that is constantly spontaneous gives me a relief from being deep in my own head by being in the present moment with someone (as opposed to being in the past or future in my head) there's less energy involved being in the present for the INFJ, it feels refreshing like a cool running spring (not stagnant). I like being exposed to different places and absorbing the arts and crafts of the place, and what people are like to flock there and why... it all expands my inner landscape (along with reading books), so I may appear reserve but I love new adventures. I have a multilayer personality that requires a hall pass for each layer to explore, I deep dive on a lot of subjects and I crave uniqueness, not a lot of people can get exclusive passes, and I'm okay with that, my V.I.P. rooms are well thought out, my safe places, and it takes a rare person to challenge those spaces to add color and depth. I love ENTPs for their devil advocacy, I don't see them as being argumentative, I know it's their way of learning and I welcome debating them. I am curious about ENFPs which is why I clicked on your video. So, far ENFPs are charming and I love curious thinkers. INFJs are natural nurturers, if my partner is stuck in a rut, my first thought is to get them out of it, so it's my turn to pull out a gem, to take charge, a change of scene, let's go to a place to take your mind off what's bothering you so you can get a fresh perspective on it (usually involves brainstorming with them to fit their particular mood) or I know which project they are most curious and care about, and I encourage them to work on it, my intent is to boost their self-esteem, I nudge them in the right direction by participating with them until they gain their own momentum, then it's back to my projects. Lastly, I know extroverts get a boost to their positive self-esteem by interacting with others, so I don't get jealous about them going out or bouncing to different people, hell.. I encourage it...an extrovert gets more energize by being a social butterfly only benefits me because I get that positive energy focused exclusively back onto me later: a win/win. Besides, how can I be jealous when it's me that's 0.05% of the population, how rare is that? *smirk* There's a symbiotic relationship when an extrovert understands that I need my own space and alone time to recharge my positive self-esteem energy which gets redirected back exclusively on them. Here's a free insight, people are attracted to similar IQ and maturity levels...INFJ are old souls trapped in a childlike wonderment of the world body, it's like our soul gets another chance to explore a big open playground, it's why we hate conformity. Our paradoxes are in harmony of each other, not in chaos...it's why we can go thru life alone exploring, and be at peace with ourselves.

[@jennyhorner]

I’m an INFJ married to an ENFP, though we had no idea of our types when we got together, these types are mirror personalities, different in good ways. Compatible people will of course gravitate towards each other. On the whole I’d say it’s an easy pairing, though INFJs may need ENFPs to have done their main traveling years beforehand, I wouldn’t recommend dating a young ENFP for us. I think INFJs help ENFPs explore new ideas, newness on a conceptual level and then we’re supportive in times of existential angst caused by all the ideas. Unplanned newness in physical reality can really freak me out though. Eg my other half coming home announcing “you better learn Portugese we’re moving to Brazil!” we have no link to Brazil and that’s not the continent we live on! Fortunately she didn’t stick with the idea long enough for it to become a real point of tension... In normal times her travel is mostly through work now. She thinks my need to plan is strange, to the extent she doesn’t think other people do it. I try to say that lots of people plan things like renovation projects, with spreadsheet costing, it’s boring but you sort of have to do it. But no I’m a one off weirdo! You can find ways to make the difference work for both though eg an INFJ planned foreign holiday based on an ENFPs interests can feel pretty spontaneous and interesting to the ENFP and expected but interesting to the INFJ.

[@demonaicunicorn]

@@jennyhorner I'm an ENFP who married an INFJ. Greatest decision i made after I was given a medical discharge from the military. So I'd done my trveling and exploration before settling down. You INFJ types are interesting and in my opinion many INFJ types are as smart or smarter than McGyver, (if you're old somewhat or a lot older you'll know who McGyver is) (or if you're a young person you might know Michael Schofeild from PrisonBreak the TV show).

[@jennyhorner]

@@demonaicunicorn yes ENFPs marry an INFJ when you want to travel through ideas, when you’re starting to feel too physically old for jet lag and travelling Economy!

[@ShirlyVillalobos]

As an ENFP I feel like you understand us, it's so important to know that there are INFJs out there who can see through us. In the past I thought that nobody needs to be alone and it's better to keep them company, sadly that wasn't true because INFJs need their space as much as you guys need air. It was a little weird to me at first but watching these videos and reading about the personality types gave me the opportunity to respect other people in another level. You seem like a cool guy, sending you good *ENFP* vibes!

[@christinedozier2154]

How are you speaking to my soul -ENFP

[@jennyxuchi2147]

1. Open-minded and flexible people. Ne. 2. High-quality conversation. Their sense of wonder. The most curious people instead of people with the most info in their brain. The ability to be very mindful about their life they are living, the ability to observe their life in a way that is complex, nuanced, and in-depth. Fi likes to go deep. 3. The ability to be fun, lighthearted, and silly with your partner. Goofy and funny. Don't want things to be serious all the time. Drawn to emotionally or intellectually intense people, but the fun slowly drains out of my life. (My ex was that kinda person haha. Very intelligent but not relaxed.) You need something you can laugh with. A partner that helps you see the lighthearted side of things when you are feeling dark and heavy. It's a reminder that you can find joy in life and you can find humor in everyday scenarios. A lot of us are used to be that person for other people. It's really refreshing when we find a person who could ALSO do that for us. Life is very long. 4. Mutual autonomy. Independent, social, passionate. We are not naturally great at setting boundaries. A partner who has a natural sense of boundaries, who has their own interests. We are good cheerleaders, but we don't want to have to do that. We want to be in a supporting role. See someone's potential and push through it. 5. A strong sense of self who will not let you put them on a pedestal. 6. Someone who does not want to prioritize the material over the experiential part of life. Financially interdependent. How to spend their resources. 7. Not threatened by your social circle. Need very different relationships. Can introduce us to their awesome friends in their life. 8. Excited about growth. If someone doesn't want growth, it's hard to give we are naturally born to give in our relationships. Someone who likes to challenge themselves as much as you want to challenge yourself. Find a person with whom a relationship feels like opening more doors for you than is closing. Not trapped, confined.

[@lehxyx]

Omg when you said we push ourselves so much we don't necessarily need someone else to push us -- THANK YOU! This was my biggest problem in my last relationship.. he didn't understand that I just needed support and his pressure just made me overwhelmed

[@becool432]

Yes!! I can relate to this as well… I’m sure there were good intentions, but it still felt like criticism… believe me, I already criticize/over analyze everything I do …

[@laneishajackson6252]

I’m an ENFP and my fiancé is an INTJ . He fits all these things on the list. He’s just so understanding, loving and patient❤️

[@user-pk5pl7ox1e]

I want an INTJ in my life please

[@missbehaving318]

I also have an INTJ he’s very supportive and just lets me be me

[@mj-rg9kp]

Oh wow, I’m with an INTJ too! 😂

[@rictusempra3388]

I think ENFPs and INTJs can really have a deep, soul-level understanding of each other. It's absolutely magical and beautiful, like a gift sent from heaven 💖

[@cleawox]

ENFP women are so vivid to me. Very happily married to one. INTJ.

[@PegR38]

I'm an ENFP and have been with my INTP for over 28 years now. We tick off the box on all 8 of these. Sometimes when we talk about one of the many places we've lived in that time, he'll say "We were completely different people then." And he's right. We can have deep conversations, and we have our silly, giggly times, too. He was already his own person when we met, so different from my ex. He enjoys my friends, but also encourages me to have with them on my own. It took me longer than it did you to find someone like this. But, we'll make the rest of each other's lives happy ones.

[@unstoppable2742]

ENFP here, my girlfriend is INTP - it's awesome, we've been together more than 3 years, very great match, I'm happy I found her! :)

[@PegR38]

@@unstoppable2742 I think ENFP and INTP are combo that works really well. Not sure why more people don't see it.

[@TheyCallMeMercy]

Hi to every INFJ here,i see you're trying to learn more about your enfps too. I hope you all get the best in life🤍🌸

[@fionareynolds1703]

& INFP's hehe

[@bluberryfrozenyogurt7017]

Yup. I'm watching this to learn more about my beautiful partner 🥰 -INFJ here

[@nickpickle1079]

I hate to admit that I laughed at the part about needing someone to talk to right up until death, because I know I’ll still have MORE to say! The beauty will be if I’m with someone who inspires me to shut up, because I want to hear what ‘they’ have to say. Wouldn’t that be something,…an ENFP who slips ‘quietly’ into that good night! 🌙

[@waterbender19]

"someone who inspires me to shut up" hahah I love this, im going to make this my new standard for a partner

[@nickpickle1079]

@@waterbender19 Glad to be of help, but be careful, you realize that’s a pretty high standard! It could be the (unofficial) ENFP “Hush” of Approval. 🏅🏆 haha

[@benjaminfast5496]

This is hilarious, but also incredibly true. As an ENFP, I am often quite entertained by my own ideas as well as how I delivery them to other people. Unfortunately, I have a hard time meeting people that keep my interest while they're talking. My internal voice is like "I so badly want to interrupt them to make this more exciting, but I also don't want to be rude; I need to be better at listening, so I will endure this until it ends..." When I find someone who keeps me entranced when they talk I know we are going to be friends for life.

[@nickpickle1079]

@@benjaminfast5496 How true! Now if only we could find those people. haha

[@swansonseven2851]

@@benjaminfast5496 I found this really strongly in an INTP.

[@khaossecond]

As an ENTP, I love ENFPs. OMG you can follow my desire of doing different things all the time, usually ENFPs encourage me talking about random interestings and I can have really good conversations with you cause you also love knowing about new information.

[@becool432]

We love you right back! 🤗 my closest friend and my son (plus a small handful of other people in my life that I’d consider to be my most favorite people) are all ENTP ❤️ I feel that no other type quite matches our energy in the same way! The best conversations & experiences I’ve ever had in my life 🤘🏻

[@paulkiefer5455]

I'm an ISTP. I'm married to an ENFP. For 20 years. It's working. We both have... particularized personalities with a romantic partner being a longshot. Together, we're an agreement, a partnership. He has to deal with the large volume of time I want to spend alone and I have to deal with his... boy scout like purity lol. So, if these two types are not suited for each other perhaps we're channeling a rare kind of opposites attract situation. We get this a lot: "why are you two together?" With the answer being both elusive and obvious simultaneously.

[@kun_kue]

The fact that you said 'could I die talking to this person' makes it so weird because I say that all the time in dating. The point on mutual autonomy is so good for me. I used to think there was something wrong with me for wanting someone who just lets me go and play. However, when I'm with someone who is like me, boundaries disappear because I don't know how to set them! The point about someone who already has their own stuff going on is so right! Honestly Heidi for ENFP president.

[@MissaLifeStyle]

As an enfp who is married to an estj, he is goofy but extremely hardworking. He inspires me with his work ethic, cleanliness, self confidence, and loyalty to his family. He isn’t as intellectual or deep as some ppl but he is very smart in certain areas that I would never be interested in. Your spouse will never be everything for you so it’s important to have friends that fill those gaps.

[@shivannawal]

"Your spouse will never be everything for you, its important to have friends fill those gaps" - THIS. I had no idea this was true until I actually got into a relationship. Try to be everything for someone and you will end up getting anxiety. Its so important to know your limits !

[@zmaru9672]

Yeah except the ESTJ usually cuts you with solid fundamental logic that you just see as well. But they can’t see the other sides ENFP does and with good reason lol.

[@its_magic9516]

Uff estj. You're brave to be with someone with these traits😂

[@susanbloemhof4391]

ENFP Artist married to an INFP Publisher for 23years. Oh Heidi - your videos are really helping me in so many aspects of life. One of my most basics needs is to feel SAFE while being myself. And to laugh! My INFP is my rock and my BEST FRIEND. He ticks all the boxes! ❤

[@fionareynolds1703]

I'm an INFP just starting a relationship with an ENFP and so far it's been the best relationship I've ever had and it's only been 2 months and 7 days, I finally feel understood and truly loved in a relationship ENFP's are the best

[@thebadmanrisesagain]

Dear ENFPs, I love you. (INFJ). I just found one and I am absolutely fulfilled and comforted in her aura. She seems to doubt herself and feel as if she has to compare herself to others. ENFPs, you are more than enough for us INFJs. We love you. P.S. she says (the author of this videos) that there is no such thing as a perfect type for you….WRONG, INFJs, instant effortless connection. It’s more than obvious.

[@fdah29]

So glad you’re making content again! (Fellow ENFP)

[@hog-re2zo]

im in love with an ENFP. We did the MBTI after we had meet 6 months later. Im an INFJ. And Holy crap if she isnt imperfectly perfect for me. She reads me like a book like no one else has ever done before. I dont think she has shut her mouth for 8 months and i fkn love it. We seem to be on the same wave length but from opposite ends. Shes the one.

[@busybees.r.c.1836]

Been a month, how yall doin?

[@mcgil8891]

Aww I'm so happy for you guys ❤️

[@mcgil8891]

@@busybees.r.c.1836 yesss we need updates 😂

[@catalystcomet]

RIP

[@italamachado4597]

PLS MARRY

[@icanrelate]

I'm an ENTJ w/ an ENFP for 8 years. My best relationship. Never ever perfect, but closest I've ever gotten. We have lots of fun together and complement each other well. Everything you mentioned is definitely something that works well for us. Great video!

[@FPT84]

I want to hear more regarding this match please

[@morefaiththanever]

I think the ENTJ are more bolder and more take charge than the INTJ. I think that the best friend aspect of this match ENFP/ENTJ is great. But the communication will probably have to be really direct, otherwise the ENTJ will be micromanaging the ENFP without routines. Lol !

[@miwagardner1353]

Enfp married to Intj (but % wise he sometimes leans to Entj), he doesn’t micromanage me at all and knows that he can’t force me to do anything. He’s about efficiency but yet understands that there are difficult contrarians-freedom seekers like us and lets me decide on choosing out of different options and tells me the pros and cons. 😂it’s great having such a partner cuz I can roam freely and he’d be there enough to tap into the “realistic” world when it needs to seep into my life 👾

[@ashleywagner8650]

This feels like the most resonant and helpful ENFP video I’ve ever seen! Thank you!!

[@dieresis9]

You nailed the list of key ingredients for a long and happy long-term relationship, Heidi. My wife and I have been married 42 years. She’s an ESFJ; I’m an INFP. We share a love of learning, of language and of music. We laugh often. I learn new things about her every day. We’ve had our share of difficult times, but each day is still a joy.

[@Hallelujur]

Spot on!! 🙌🏽❤ And your ENFP Soul Bootcamp was one of the best things I did for myself this year! It helped me to apply for a totally different kind of job and I actually got it! 🎉🎉🎉

[@heidipriebe1]

Huge, huge congratulations on the job!! 🎉🎉

[@janissevalenzuela]

What kind of job was it? I’m an ENFP looking for a career change.

[@talmonclear7502]

It's rather cathartic to have someone explain my type's needs after a breakup. Thanks for putting out great content!

[@claytonia1586]

Great video again Heidi. As an INFJ not every single ENFP is my soul mate but my closest friends and best conversations seem to be. As a type they are often labelled as crazy cats...which is part of it haha but not much is said about the depth of conversation, and the beautiful ideas and thoughts you guys can come up with. I find ENFJs balance me out but with a focus on similar areas like growth, experience and wonder. This video completely explains my ENFP best friend. Our relationship is colourful, exciting, inspiring, deep and hilarious. ENFPs and INFPs are my faves ❤️

[@24hrdiner]

1. Someone that won't limit your exploration 2.someone who you can have deep conversation with.

[@nicholassmith7473]

I am an istp and my enfp wife. I got all 8 and I'm pretty she is happy most of the time, excluding those moments she has that I just try to help her with. Good job 👌👌👌

[@TennisWannabe]

I'm such an ENFP... this was just so nice to watch and see someone gets you lol.

[@justincase7157]

I’m an infp and I love being around enfp’s, they get me out of my shell in a way I love and I always feel very understood by them

[@FluffySylveonBoi]

I am ENFP and my gf is INFJ and she is the best person ever! We do silly things together, like writing funny (nonsensical for most people though xD) things on the ground with chalks and laughing when someone stops and reads them. I am always up to any funny and silly thing and she supports me well. She is a blessing

[@m.oniker8989]

INTP here, and I just found your channel after getting blasted by an ENFP hater in the comments section of another well-known M-B KZbinr. I got blasted because I posted a short, positive comment about my relationship with the most fabulous ENFP man! I was told how an ENFP would lie, and cheat, etc. etc. because of their need for variety. Yeah. No. I understand and recognize when people have a very superficial view of MBTI. I loved this video! And I was checking through all the boxes as you went 1 through 8. I think I swore at #5 (?) the "don't put your partner on a pedestal" one, because I see that happening. I'm definitely going to suggest he and I watch this video together and discuss that issue, and also high-five each other because yes! We can talk and talk and he encourages and he nudges this typical INTP introvert out of my comfort zone (in a corner with my laptop or book or both). Our N & P's just SING together. His Fi knows how to engage my Fe. Perfect. ♥ (I may be the one putting HIM on a pedestal. :) )

[@MelanieHooks]

Brilliant and mature conclusions! A relationship that OPENS us to the world vs closes us off?? Magic. I'm so happy for you that you've found that! Love your book and video content, and I think this is the best yet! Totally psyched for the attachment style vids. Isn't is so funny btw re us putting others on pedestals when we ourselves loathe having someone do the same to us? I once had to stop a group tribute to me in a goodbye lunch because it made me SO uncomfortable to be the focus in that way. Give me your attention and stories, sure, but hold the flattery. Oogie. For other ENFPs who have struggled with the same idealization issues, I will say that it's actually the unintended consequence of seeing everyone in terms of their best potential. That same quality is what makes us excellent teachers, coaches and cheerleaders. For years I had zero idea there was a difference between that potential and who someone was choosing to be in the world. Not everyone is going to be brave enough to show their whole selves all the time, which is brand new info for our type. It isn't actually fair of us to expect it, which also took a long time for me to accept. People must make their own choices, and some will choose to live smaller lives than we would wish for them. I think esp when we are younger, we don't appreciate that others often will show us their whole selves with the expectation that they won't be sharing that with others or the world at large. Those intense personalities we are so drawn to especially might use us as a safe harbor to hide instead of facing themselves and own challenges. Be aware of this in partner searches for sure. I love all this advice, Heidi!! Spot on!

[@thehannahouse]

Wow, you really nailed it!!! I hear ya about not really liking to be constantly challenged, as in pushed or criticized. We do better when someone encourages us to challenge ourselves because we do that anyway. Someone who doesn't get annoyed by that or demand we are always consistent or stick to one thing. Someone who is our cheerleader for growth and exploration.

[@heritage.home.crochet]

"Your life is never going to be perfectly consistent..." This makes so much sense haha, I even pray to be more consistent because I am always wanting to progress and feel like I can't because I have a whole new set of things on my mind when it comes time to practice consistency with a particular thing. Endless struggle.

[@maggiemae3825]

This honestly was so helpful to watch in terms of "why my marriage didn't work out." I've always felt a lot of guilt about the fact that I couldn't romantically love my ex. They're a great person, we have maintained a friendship, we never fight, etc. But this video hit on a lot of points that explains why they just don't "light my fire" so to speak. "Lower need for certainty, higher need for uncertainty and growth." Well, they're happy as a clam doing the exact same thing every single day/night and were highly resistant to any kind of novelty. Hah. Well that explains it! I appreciate it!

[@octavia88]

Omg I feel you. Just ended a relationship. I wanted to bring change to the relationship, he didn't. I was dying inside at the thought that we'll keep doing the same things over and over again for decades! 🙈

[@morefaiththanever]

I feel like ENFP should really wait a long time before tying the knot….some of us are serial wives and not intentionally trying to be terrible wives. I also think maybe we need to explore different age categories, I could see ENFP types with way younger spouses. Lol !

[@sarahweilermusic]

Really useful. And I'm finding myself looking back at past relationships and seeing why they didn't work. ESPECIALLY about people being threatened by social circles or wanting to have variety. Very freeing to watch this and understand it can be asked for!

[@goodsense123]

This is 💯 accurate!!! As an ENFP, I wish I had this 15 years ago in my teens, it would’ve saved me from a lot of heartache and failed marriage with someone who I was not compatible with and wanted to change! 😔

[@АнонимныйКомментатор-б5д]

Omg that's so sad to hear if i can get you right my friend. Please have my best wishes in being your happy self now 😊 I can also recall one those moments when i myself got out of a slightly tense relationship quite early on in my life, and it was that moment when I got into studying my personality and actually figuring out how incredible are we. We all need lessons in self-respect when we are younger! So yeah, i know what it is like to be misunderstood as an enfp as well...

[@fionareynolds1703]

Hope you are doing well now, much loveps an INFP

[@edenhomestead5382]

Fellow ENFP here... There's always hope!

[@ahmadtino90]

I've been wondering why my marriage feels suffocating for the past 3 years. Been told over and over again that marriage takes a lot of work, but the points highlighted here are so apt. I only learned about mbti a few weeks ago and I'm beginning to understand myself and my needs better. Currently my wife and I in a choatic rollercoaster ride and it has been taking a toll on me. And now I understand that it's because of our fundamental differences inv values and how we view life. From money to experiences to interacting with people. Now it's a matter of seeing whether this rnship can really work out.

[@MoPoppins]

Hopefully, you both see the value in honoring your respective truths and journeys. If you have kids, know that not all kids are sad about their parents breaking up. I always wished that my mom DID make good on her threats to get divorced, but she was too codependent and didn’t see or didn’t want to find a means to financially support herself. If you and your wife ever want to be happy, and believe it to be your birthrights, I hope you both can amicably find a way to evolve forward. 🙏✨💕

[@waterbender19]

this is such a wonderful video. i find myself really unenthusiastic about being in a relationship because of exactly what you said -- thinking that relationships have to be about being stagnant. I love that you emphasize that they can be about growth, this makes me excited to actually find that person I could grow with.

[@sf5823]

Having a challenging partner is soooooo stressful! We need to just chill out but be explorative too. They've got to be able to take a good old ear bashing 😂, have patience and understand that we're going to lose track of time. 6:23 Yep! 17:00 This is such an important factor!

[@trungssisters6048]

I ISFP am actually being friend with a ENFP guy. I look him maybe as my future life partner, and I'm happy to see that I get all points 🤩

[@heritage.home.crochet]

@8:45 This has happened with me so many times...ugh. And you're right that we need to look for someone who can laugh and encourage our silly side, I knew my husband was the one when I felt comfortable being goofy as well as going into deep conversations...all within like a 7 minute span. I could wake up with him and talk to him forever.

[@DanBurns89]

Another great ENFP perspective. Totally matches up with the ENFPs in my life. Two of the eight you mentioned were especially applicable to this type over all others in my experience.

[@atmodlee]

I’d love to see this for INFPs!

[@harrietrodis4628]

This is so true. I used to think relationships are constraining and such a hassle until now. Even friendships. Thanks so much!

[@IzzyBizzy2021]

ENFP-A here! I would say I agree a lot with this video. I think for me because I am an assertive ENFP, which most are turbulent ENFP's. There is a difference. One has more intrusive thoughts and feelings and the other does not. I have work extremely hard to find myself and to grow/shine. It is needed in this world. Soooooo needed. We all are!! Every piece is needed!

[@edenhomestead5382]

As a fellow ENFP-A I agree that ENFP-t's are very different people in regard to what you've mentioned.

[@Snowfoxie1]

I’m an INFPs and some of my very favorite people, including my significant other, are ENFPs. I love y’all for everything you listed. Something about that sweet, silly energy combined with deep and thoughtful idealism just hits me where I live and I can’t get enough of y’all ❤

[@magikinmybones.b]

Couldnt understand what i really want and drove myself CRAZZZYY. And here's how easy its cominb from you. Sending you big big big GRATEFUL LOVE AND LIGHT 😭💌💌💌

[@bellaeastwood4292]

I’m an ENTJ (INTJs cousin we have the exact same functions just different order) who dated an ENFP for a very long time and have had many ENFP friends. I will say you guys are EXTREMELY likeable. I have Ni as my second function so I love your intuitive nature. You guys have good ideas too and it’s very fun to go on these abstract mental adventures with you guys. I do have some constructive criticism to give, (assuming you’re an ENFP) so maybe you can work on this. As a dominant Te user, logic is my way of life (same with INTJs btw). My problem with the ENFP is it’s not possible to reason with logic. You guys just don’t respond to it no matter how hard I try to break it down. You guys will just do whatever the hell you feel like doing, and then you find yourself at 35 years old and still having done nothing with your lives (sorry if that’s a rude wake up call). The problem is you don’t listen to peoples advice no matter how much sense it makes. You’re more concerned with having fun and socializing that you avoid taking on any responsibility or boring tasks that bring you closer to your goals. Fortunately you’re very likable so you can pretty much just get other people to help you with the hard stuff, but how far can you really go if you never feel like taking on the workload? Of course it’s uncomfortable working on the process and I understand that being a low Se user definitely doesn’t make it easier for you, but you NEED to focus and work on that. Your functions are like a muscle and they will become stronger the more you use them. There’s much more to life then just shooting the shit with your friends and wasting all your time accomplishing nothing. Pick out a ONE goal, and work on it RELENTLESSLY. I know you guys have a new goal every week but really try to pick the most important one (buying a house, building a business, finishing school, learning a language, starting a KZbin channel, etc). Quit chasing after fun all the time and go accomplish at least one thing and I promise you will feel so proud of yourself. You can start with working 10 minutes a day on your goal and slowly work your way up. The key is to be CONSISTENT and to do it every. Single. Day. With no excuses like oh I’m hungover, or oh I have to go to a party soon, or oh I actually my dog needs a bath. Just focus on your goal, and work until you’ve reached it. Quit fucking around.

[@chaitanyajain3127]

This was so inspiring, I needed to read this , thanks - enfp

[@jack-heights]

lol, ngl, Consistency really helps us ENFP's mature and grow. I agree that it's very important to have a goal and stick with it over a long period.

[@vparker3601]

I am an ENTJ who has a son who is an ENFP. I saw this issue with my son at early age. I encouraged his creativity and to try new things along with getting him to set a few goals while doing it. He's an adult now and does a pretty good job goal setting and accomplishing them.

[@Im__Vance]

I think when us ENFP’s do focus on one thing we can truly become standouts in our field because of our originality so thank you! Advice I could give you guys is to BREATHE and remember that fun and not taking life TOO much like something that has to be seen as work all the time. In the end life is a series of rich experiences so don’t miss out on them 😁 thanks again! Focus is my friend not my enemy haha

[@autumnpendergast9151]

😁 Sorry but I got bored by the 3rd paragraph, even though I hoped to glean somethingfrom the advice proffered. We literally have the best lives, because life is for living. At nearly 50 I have done more than most people could do in 5 lifetimes and felt it all so deeply. I would never change that. As for focus, I can make 30 bespoke tutus in 2 months, or edit 5000 photos in a week, but I certainly could not maintain that level of serious focus for too long. I literally would die. As an artist I am expert in dozens of mediums. I can literally do everything, except be a part of the system. Variety IS the spice of life and keeps us vital. I have put on festivals, run incredible businesses, studied and mastered several dance styles (classical ballet, Irish dance) and of course am a teacher, I have burned out about 4 times, had the most romantical relationships, scoffed at addictions, had marathon major surgeries (bionic woman style) lived in all sorts of really weird places, raised an exceptional daughter as a widow and still have so much more to do and try. I understand your concern, but truly save it for those who need it. We don't need lots of money or possessions or other accolades of the slave ego "world". We just need to trust ourselves more, that is the very best advice. So much love intended!

[@AustinsZombie]

Watching this video and realizing how my past partner (who was also probably an ENFP) must've felt and had to cope with me fufilling these points for her, to doing and being the opposite of them in a short time after I had what may be a traumatic flashback. It is nice to have some validation and answers of why that relationship worked so well and had so much hope in the beginning. Equally its very tough to begin to clearly see things that if I had the awareness I do now (mostly from Heidi's excellent videos and my own therapy) could've brought us to a better place or resolution. Interesting what you can learn when you go looking for yourself but you find out about others!

[@liascott2014]

Thank you so much for posting this! It’s quite accurate, many of these things I only recently realized. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I finally started looking for someone I can laugh with and accepts even enjoys all of my endless creative pursuits and ideas. Recognizing my value and how others see me was a huge step in my progress as well. Anyhow I love your videos you’re very good at what you do!! Thank you for making them!!!!

[@liascott2014]

Adding on, I keep ending up dating INFJ’s somehow (non intentionally). So I’ve seen how different people can be even as the same MBTI type. I’m really glad you brought up that the MBTI isn’t necessarily the way to find your partner!

[@star.light-306]

Reflecting as an ENFP I really liked the whole video but the thing that stood out the most was to find a relationship where it feels like its opening more doors than its closing. It feels like it'd be a rare find but I think that's OK. Like that's why the other parts of an ENFP's life outside of the relationship is important to sustain. Maybe relationships are more than just feeling tolerated after all? I'm happy to see an ENFP finding a relationship that works for them. Stay awesome.

[@mcgil8891]

Well said. We shouldn't expect to get everything we need from one person. Maintaining an independent life outside of the relationship is important

[@FPT84]

WoW!

[@traybaybay]

Thinking the best of others has led me to some bummer reality checks and even a few dangerous situations. Now I move way slower before becoming exclusive with anyone. It takes a long time to see all sides of someone and if that's something I want to grow old alongside of. Great video - true stuff! These instinctual things we feel strongly about is SO important to declare early on. Need a mountain man, which I'm discovering hasn't been easy to find in the city hehe.

[@Aero1818]

ENFP is my favourite type😊. INFJ here👁️‍🗨️

[@jessicaculver705]

As an ENFP the best fit for me is an ENTP. Being married to one is awesome, provides all the elements you described. It's the BEST. :D

[@rb7454]

Me: ENFP. After being in a relationship with an unhealthy INFJ this post is like ointment to all my wounds he left me with- always trying to control me, degrading me for always trying to self improve, and never allowing me to have any level of certainty in the relationship while having stifling expectations of me(not allowing me to have my circle of various friends and socialization). After therapy and this video, I see that I was not the problem. Unhealthy INFJs are mind-fucking bad for us enfps. Healthier ones are rare to find now days as most of them have been snatched up. Healthy INFJ, where are you? I’m looking for you to be my man.

[@poly.fcracka9362]

They exist homie, my INFJ girlfriend has been the best thing to ever bless my life. It's very clear their are setbacks but man that's all they are. I've never felt more secure for my future than I have with her, so keep looking homie you deserve it.

[@mildacha8050]

I feel you, sis! I have had relationships with 3 INFJ men and they broke me to pieces with their secrecy, unstable moods and double standards... Ughhhh, I feel like years later I still hurt thinking about it, feels so unfair because I am sincere when in love, but I was lied to and gaslighted in return. Really unhealthy, that's true! At least I've learned a lot about my own boundaries that way, my sexuality and the strong need for emotional connection and intellectual stimulation. Now I appreciate much more when people are extroverted or at least emotionally available, not afraid to disagree or seem imperfect, people who try to understand my perspective and explain theirs, who have strong boundaries and passions in life, are not afraid to ask me questions - "keeping it real" so to say. Makes things easier, I feel at ease with such people - especially when our values are matching. We get "on the same page" much faster. It's very important for me, as ENFP woman in a romantic relationship, to feel safe and protected, understood and considered, and most of all - respected in all the ways. Is there some MBTI type that values these things as well? Or does that depend on individual? I might be better off staying just platonic friends with INFJs from now, haha. Anyway, wanted to say that I understand really well what it means to be hurt by INFJ exes. Stay strong and wish you to find a person that is safe to love! Take care.

[@spannycat2]

I'd rather date an INTJ. - ENFP.

[@gasman028]

INFJ male here. I find that we INFJ's often require the time in life to introspect, perceive and develop from the experiences we have lived. I think back to myself and my 20s and realize that all of the relationships that I had led me to the self-aware, self-empowered and honest person that is now 32. One thing I fear for many INFJs is how limited our life becomes by marrying early and believing we understand the critical parts of the picture of life before we actually might. The picture of life continues to grow and become more colored in with time and it's beautiful to share a more mature, experienced version of yourself as you age. I'll be very excited to form a close bond with another mature ENFP in time. I know that I will have a drastically improved understanding of a INFJ-ENFP relationship compared to my previous one nine years ago.

[@rb7454]

@@gasman028 you wrote so eloquently like a true INFJ. I like your introspection. That is so important to have and grow from. So few people actually analyze their mistakes or misunderstanding about the world or how people work. What is also important is not to project onto your new woman old pains or assumptions. I felt that I was constantly living in the shadow of my ex-bf (INFJ’s) wife who really really scarred him as well as his abusive ESTJ mother. It was a battle I cold never win. So take note that when in a meeting relationship to not project onto the girl You are with. The best way to do this is to first address the scars with a mn Emotionally Focused Therapist. Perhaps give me a call sometime. We can have a lovely chat 😉

[@ngrace28]

So my boyfriend and I are both ENFP’s 😂 (it’s a lot, especially me in the relationship) 🎉 We became friends in 2015, started liking each other in 2016, and ended up dating 2 years ago. 😅❤ I couldn’t seriously be any more happy with him. At first when dating, we had rough months but afterwards we started understanding each other more. Now, I decided to do some homework of how we flow in each other’s personality. I’m so glad both of us are in the same page and vision to the journey of our relationship 😊 We NEVER have a dull moment since we’ve met.

[@rictusempra3388]

Wow, I've always wondered what the dynamic between two ENFPs or just two EN's can be like. Sounds like a blast!! (Do you ever exhaust each other lol)

[@ngrace28]

@@rictusempra3388 lol, it is. I guess I’ve always wanted a reciprocal type of relationship, a more best friend complementary relationship. To each it’s own, really. We do exhaust each other at certain topics and challenge each other, but it’s usually a love story with humor and wonder ❤️

[@xyznightwing]

Honestly, these are all really great points for friendships as well. All of my best friends fits these like a glove.

[@shervellebergholz]

Omg!! You just ran down my whole list of the perfect, ideal person!! 🥰

[@eyesofthefox]

The only problem I have with people is when they start to ignore my insight or try to discredit me because I don't approach things the way they approach it, so they'll be passive aggressive. Passive aggression is still aggression, and I will not stand for that.

[@annemarrie3895]

This video had me like......sooooooooooo true all the time. I felt so understood. Like how is it possible someone can share what you've felt & thought🤗. Thanks Heidi this was super💥

[@anonymundso641]

I had the opposite of a partner who was too serious. My partner always needed fun and couldn't hang out with me and do anything special. He had a really hard time with serious conversations because he couldn't see the point in it and was so focused on doing something fun, which often was going to parties or hanging out with his friends.I also really liked that about him because he took me everywhere and that was also very exciting for me but he just couldn't have deep conversations and it always came across as him having fun was way more important than how I was doing and what I would like to do right now and over time that became very difficult.

[@ninacohen5401]

We combine opposite qualities, don't we, by needing to go very very deep emotionally/intellectually (introverted feeling) and also, needing to live 'broadly-widely', greedy for joyful, expressive, experiences (Extraverted Intuition with insatiable curiosity-perception). How to find someone delighted by paradoxes??

[@danieleoduro3829]

I still cant believe how someone can speak so directly to my soul!! Dang how precise can you be!!! I feel i have been lonely for all these years, im slowly getting there. Merci Heidi

[@thedarlingrevolution7976]

This is such a good list! You know my partner, Christian Rivera, amazing INTP and such a perfect compliment for me. I'm so thankful for him.

[@Barbduif]

Wow, seriously checking all the needs as an ENFP! And better put to words than I myself could haha. Great list for dating again, so Tnx! 😄

[@reked2605]

ENTP leaning about my Enfp girlfriend. I learnt all this the hard way and almost lost her. She showed me love and I can't thank her enough.. She is truly amazin

[@laurenf3347]

Thank you SOOOO much for this! It felt like such a verbal hug as you just got me [& nailed previous relationship issues]...I teared up in comfort as I felt so understood & validated. Makes so much sense & so helpful to keep in mind going forward, thanks again!💙😊

[@Life90789]

Im a ENFP of 20 years old and your video help me a lot, because I was lost about what Im looking in a partner and you help me a lot. It’s nice to feel understand thank you

[@elizabethl3392]

Wow! I needed this video 30 years ago! This is right on the money. These are all the things I struggled with in my relationships throughout my life. It is so good to hear that these issues are a function of my personality type and not a personal shortcoming. I thought I was just an oddball for being both a silly, lighthearted person who liked deep conversations with wildly diverse people. Apparently I am perfectly normal. Thank you, I appreciate your depth of analysis and kind and gentle approach to this topic. Excellent content and presentation. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@christinedozier2154]

“These issues are a function of my personality type and not a personal shortcoming” is so intelligently articulated.

[@SesnoOjukwu]

This is the best video about ENFPs I have ever watched. This was amazinggggg!

[@MoPoppins]

I can see why INTJ would be a good match for ENFP…as long as it’s a healthy version of one.

[@DreadCanary]

Watched this video as an INTJ specifically because I wanted to understand why an ENFP/ENTP was supposed to be my ideal match type. I think I understand now.

[@mcgil8891]

Yes! I can say it's a good pairing based on experience

[@geoffreykioi3272]

As an ENFP, I promise you that we'll not always be healthy and you'll have to contend with that.

[@MoPoppins]

@@geoffreykioi3272 We could probably say that for any type-some people are at a stage of their lives where they’re looking for “projects,” and that’s when they’ll choose an unhealthy variety of any type, and when they’ve had enough and learned the lessons they’re meant to learn (or more-so *IF*), then they’ll be ready for a partner who is a true friend & companion, where they challenge each other in the best ways & help one another to unlock the other’s greatest potential.

[@becool432]

This is hands down THE most insightful video regarding what I’ve been craving in a relationship - I have never been able to put it all into words - thank you!!

[@ChromaKissbyJulia]

Never ever someone explained My needs better 🤩

[@Lulamariamd]

Wow!! I can relate SO MUCH to what you described… I finally feel like someone understands me! I feel so relieved. This is so so helpful. Thank you!

[@aegistattoo]

this video feels like a warm hug in a cold world

[@audrey-annegaumond2045]

This is soooooo accurate!! Thank you so much for sharing! 💗 - ENFP

[@mats1300]

you just blown my mind. new in the ENFP game and it's shocking how much information is out there. thank you!

[@jeffshaw674]

Most ENFPs I know....with regards to relationships need eyes and ears. They are very good at exploring thought. Let them and don't try to conform them to your world. I'm an INFJ and think way too much on my own. I think the way they explore thoughts is another level. It's very much an exercise in gathering good and pure thought. They need to be reeled in every now and then though. If they are unhealthy.

[@lifewithavpd]

Find all of this super relatable as an INFP.

[@LYoung-et2sg]

High quality conversation! Please please please

[@marklowery8193]

Guys I feel like the unappreciated champion mystical dreamer. Where you see where things to go well with the people around but when you tell someone they don’t believe you. They don’t believe the Dream can come true for everyone. Concerning romantic relationships, I’m tired of hearing how amazing I am but that this girl in question at this particular instance needs to let me go so that the “right girl” will come to receive my love. What does that even mean? Concerning people. Some love, some dislike you enough to start fights that you must win. Overall the dark side creeps in to tell you nobody means anything and you should get used to being alone. So whilst we see the vision of goodness for the good people we like, just as easily we can see the darkness and accept it with jaded cynicism that’s hard to let go. How often I want to go live on a mountain and be rid of people and never talk to anyone again.

[@crystaljean522]

Amazing! Thank-you, INFP with an ENFP son, just sent this to him. Btw, you're absolutely stunning! 🤎💜

[@prjdghyt]

😱 didn't know the author of the INFP book has a yt channel. Thanks for the book though it really made me feel understood. ❤❤❤❤

[@pugninja7037]

I liked what u said about don't worry on the type, as a entp I like people who do and don't goof around, I can analyse and do deep convos , but too much goofing can piss me off too.. I think needing the grip needs to be loosened some what . One of my greatest friends is a infp and both of my sons are infp and isfp and I've learnt a lot on fi doms

[@aprilbell5515]

Wow! This was incredibly helpful!! I feel like dating is going to be soooo much easier now! All of these were SPOT ON!!!

[@ash_meadows]

Thank you Heidi for what you do. Your video's are Top Quality and extremely helpful and practical. I will be using what your saying here to guide me in deciding about relationships❤

[@kellywelch9653]

Wish I had this FANTASTIC information 30 years ago! Thank you.

[@SEVENTHREEANDNINE]

Yes! Intelligent conversation. So rare! And fun! Funny so we can be talking seriously then laugh about things!

[@emstratman]

I just ended a 15 year marriage and as I'm listening to this I understand why it didn't work and why I felt so dead inside while we were married 😩

[@komranbehbehani6379]

Any advice from your hard earned life lessons from a relationship?

[@edenhomestead5382]

Was your marriage partner a Sensory by chance?...

[@baronvonlichtenstein]

So ENFPs needs aren't just scented candles, self help books and Ancient Alien videos. Interesting. In all seriousness, ENFPs make it very hard not to like them. - INTJ

[@Miller.Hughes]

No, not just those things but don’t you dare exclude them either 😂... can’t go wrong with an ancient alien video hahaha!! I feel seen 😆

[@sandrad9695]

Dear Baron, my husband is an INTJ, and I would say he’s perfect for me. I hope your Baroness is an ENFP because the ENFP/INTJ match is a match made in heaven.

[@nateo200]

I'm an ENFJ and good lord would an ENFJ + ENFP combo be an absolute all star couple!

[@natalieohlsson7777]

Been there! We had a lot of fun together.

[@ahmusg8054]

hey heidi thanks for your book and these videos i can understand myself so much better! Ps. no one has never got me in my small town and i've always felt out of place..

[@meimei1454]

I am an ENFPs , I love u INTJ u are completelly challance for me ..❤❤❤

[@deborahdeldebbio]

I'm just starting to learn about this. I very much resonated with everything you said that is a priority for you.

[@LizandChris1]

Wow...this is amazing 👏...helps a lot to hear this. Thank you. ❣️

[@mightymidget5571]

My crazy ENFP self loves an INTP. We are so perfectly imperfect.He literally studies me and always gets it right and has mad skills especially when we are alone❤️..ya know... Gush