ESTP: Married & Miserable or Divorced & Happy?

Should you be married and miserable or divorced and happy?
ESTP Tia Mowry says: "Life is short. Let's go. Let's start working on you and really focusing on what really, really matters here, which is at the end of the day, your peace, your joy, and your happiness."
More on how we narrowed in her type in the next video. . .
Full video at: www.ObjectiveP...
Clip from: • Tia Mowry On Why She C...

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

This woman seems like the type that would say the opposite thing if she was in an opposite situation. She just says whatever justifies her course of action.

[@mjfanta1915]

The problem is that what often gets left out of the happiness equation is the happiness of the kids. We already have all the stats you could want that parents divorcing has a profound, life-long impact on the happiness and adaptability of the child once he's grown. Children are so flexible that they adapt to major negative life changes by becoming someone who functions well "right now" but who will struggle to function well in any adult context. Which isn't a reason to stay with someone truly awful, but it is a reason to take a more long-term view of happiness and to learn to find happiness in more difficult situations.

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

I have the impression that children are flexible because I think they somehow have more Se/Ne yet weaker Ni/Si. This would be consistant with their behaviour, as they are much less calm than adults, have shoter attention spans, easily adapt, (typically) dont care about mess, are open minded etc etc. The list goes on and on. However, while there are clear upsides to this such as the flexibility the indeed have, I think becasue of weaker ordering functions they can not fully digest traumatic events that well. I think they just distract themselves and the trauma stays within them, dormant an hidden from the eye. However, while the might not notice it, I think in their adult life they may still not have had it fully digested emotionally and whatever is in the dark secretly controls them and holds them back.

[@Nerdy-By-Nature]

Yes, absolutely (excluding an abusive relationship or family dynamic, from which the children need to be removed). Children are the biggest investment we will ever making, so thinking about their well-being needs to be a huge factor in ALL your life decisions.

[@mjfanta1915]

@@Nerdy-By-Nature And even if you look at it selfishly (not that you should, necessarily), a child with a solid foundation will be someone more likely to bring YOU happiness as you age. Happiness is multi-dimensional and about so much more than "my partner cares about self-growth." ESPECIALLY BECAUSE usually one partner, the one who's doing most of the labor, gets stuck in the lower levels of the Maslow's hierarchy when the kids are growing up because that person is devoting all their energy to paying bills or holding the household together. When my kids were little my husband could not even think about "growing," he was too busy working. Now that the kids are grown and he has more free time, he's suddenly growing personally much faster than I am. I'm so glad I waited to see what he would become. Now I only hope to keep up with him.

[@jimmyclaros7481]

How do we know those children are happier or better off? From the pictures, those children looked young. This could easily be her delusion that she's telling herself and the world.

[@Binyamin.Tsadik]

If you challenge a way of life too much, you'll destroy a system that has worked for generations. Freedom and individual expression is often less valuable. Been divorced myself, I'm not better off, and there are many others who aren't either.

[@perverse_ince]

Systems that have worked for generations *in a different more stable environment*

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

Better off in which sense? Also, if the other partner wants to divorce obviuously the first partner won't perceive to be better off, unless they also wanted a divorce?

[@hirsch4155]

@@PowerRedBullTypologypoint of marriage was never to be in it until you feel you’d be better off out of it.

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

I find a commonly overlooked problem is that people do not really know what they SUBJECTIVELY want in a partner and then just settle for whatever seems OK in a sort of generic way and then after some years figure out that they dislike traits that they could have seen on meeting that person for the fisrst time. Basically, with most of my single friends it seems that way. They just either don't really know or just seem to import some sort of list of words that are so generic that anyone would agree with it (making it meaningless). You have to figure out your niche type, just as you figure out your niche personality traits in as much detail as possible. It's literally just puzzle pieces. Also, both looks and appearance are related, so if you always somehow fall in love girls with upturned noses, that might mean something, as for example Fi doms often have upturned noses.. I've found that even in my younger years all girls I would physically the most attractive were Fe doms girls. The had thse protruding mouth areas and cheekbones and . And guess what, my partner has that facial structure and is an Fe dom which is my opposite. My Gf on the other hand often found guys attractive that somewhat looked like me. However, it might need some attention to understand who looks like you as I find most people find it hard to really _see_ as basiaclly just a 3d object, but rhey rather see the expressio nor 'vibe'of the face. You need to be able to see trees too, not just the forrest in order to analyse that well. For example, once I took a list of celebs my gf said she liked and their facial proportions were all teh same when I layed their pictures on top of eachother and all deviated from the average atttractive guy in very specific ways. It literally is all a puzzle, but you must zoom out and try to see the puzzle pieces for what they are. However, the only thing that skews compatability is the appearance of health, like younger girls for guys cause they are fertile. Sure you are attracted to them in a purely sexal way cause you subconciously want to spread your genes, but the qestion is whether she is just attractive as someone to sleep with or a person yo actually like on multiple levels. Also, it's a reason you might not want to alter your appearance even if you dislike it, since your ideal tpe of partner may be attractedto exactly that specific thing like the upturned nose. Do not forget the body nad mind are just one big system and they develop together under the influences of hormones and genes. I think carl jung said something similar too, in the sense you can not seperate those 2. This whole topic seems so simple and compelx at the same time!

[@wensen4167]

You aren’t your habits, your job, or your functions. The non-movable is that you are you: you are a person and you committed to a person. The way your personalities develop causes your persona to change, but you are you and there’s no other you. Do the work. Divorce is like trying to quit the hero’s journey. Abusive situations aside, stay together and be transformed by the commitment. And divorce is hell for children. It tells them that your love for each other and for them is conditional. It tells them that they aren’t intrinsically valuable.

[@drjp4212]

I'm divorced, but what you said is completely true.

[@kandrarichards4092]

Slow down, take a breath, be quiet, & just be with yourself. Sit still in silence. You will find yourself. Too scary for most. 😅

[@Sam-bc9ll]

It makes me sad to see these videos bc Dave and Shannon are so cute with each other even this far along into their marriage, yet they’re not committed long term. That’s depressing from my pov idk

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

how are thhey not comitting?

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

Do you mean marriage? marriage is just some paper by the state. It does not really matter as you can commit without marriage.

[@bmae3055]

Protecting the mother while she is raising the baby. Yes!!!

[@Enigma96969]

If you divorced, your marriage was not a success 😂😂😂

[@flux1940]

I like how you did the 3 laughing smily emojis. Shows your superiority in opinion quite well i have to admit... "Success" is a concept. A word which describes something. It is up to us as humans to interprete the applicabillity of words and how they shape our world view in turn. If we decide to search for the "good" in other places then "the marriage was long" should maybe not be the point of our definition of success. It is not a discussion of words but of evaluation. In short they are saying: Stop looking at some arbitrary time fulfillment. Look at happiness created and joy spread.

[@thomascarstens2729]

@@flux1940 if @Enigma96969 believes in marriage for life, your argument falls through.

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

I'm not sure what marriage really matters if its clear you are both dedicated to eachother. What does the state have to do with ti ..and if you decide to split, who wold want to pay like 10K to a lawyer.

[@actazrath5878]

Will dave make a good mother? 🤷

[@actazrath5878]

I said go to work, stop lazing around.

[@jankom.7783]

I think, that what she said is manifestation of Fi. A statement about how to live your life, that are other people OK with. And then to be consistent with it. And it makes people likeable. Fe people are trying to achieve that kind of social awareness by copying Fi statements, that they collected, until something works. The same is true with Ti/Te and motivation for work. Te is just like: just do it, so it is done. But Ti care about motivation. But only their own struggles will teach them to adopt it. Just like the life struggles of Fi people teach them to adopt some kind of life lesson. Si is like: I have to go through my own sensory experience with food, clothes, cars,...., to know what is enjoyable. Se is like: you tell me. I do not want to go through all of that Ni experience: which ideas/worldview works. Ne is about collecting what is interesting. To attract Ni people. Ni cares about what actually works to make a change in their environment

[@actazrath5878]

Op choose you, youre a servant.

[@filipposa212]

"Marriage is great for society" Totally agreed. To expand on that: I'm always voting conservative because I see it as the objectively right, correct way of society to be. I want to be able to enjoy my freedom and personal choices however I want but in an orderly context. You know what I'm saying? I want my country to be free of chaos, unlawfulness, illegal immigrants etc because if that happens then we are all fucked in a larger social scale. I cannot allow this to happen. And of course I won't marry because it's not for me 😁, but I will come to your wedding

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

iit often seems that conservatism is sarcrifise the happiness of the few exceptions for the happiness of the many that are quite of similar. It's a method that is not indidualised, but it often works. LIberalism is more about the exceptions being free to do waht they want. Statistically I think the exceptions dictating the larger mass creates a more abundant amount of unhappiness. Its kinf of like feminism. It's always my impression that its the most masculine women fighting for it, while they are more exception than rule. Let's say it's the 10-20% masculine women. On the other hand, the typical gender stereotypes wokr for 80-90% of the poeple, so if you totally let go that behaving like a man and letting raw masculinity behaviour and energy out out is a good thing rather than bad, then it creates more weaker relationships becuase all these feminine women just do not see that masculinne behaviour/energy anymore in men and it does not attract them.

[@filipposa212]

@PowerRedBullTypology agree on all the points. Liberalism is, in a nutshell, putting irrational feelings over reason and common sense. Wokeism is an extreme form of that, like a radical militant cult kind of thing.

[@ploctopus2810]

Feminine Tribe = "Marriage is great for society"

[@ridorock6]

How is that feminine tribe

[@hirsch4155]

@@ridorock6it’s not imo

[@oscarl.3563]

There is plenty of evidence of people living to be way older in the past. Records of native Americans for instance. Humans should be able to live to 150, perhaps. Instead it is cut short by half of that. Food makes all the difference.

[@Nerdy-By-Nature]

Yes, the food!!

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

About 100 years ago a dentist wondered why our jaws became smaller and smaller and teeth did not fit in our mouths anymore. He then traveleed the world to all tribes that lived in nature and none of them had these problems. He noticed on top of that they did not have most of the health issues we have and he noticed that almost al tribes seemed more aware of what is actually healthy and not than modern food. His name is Weston Price and a book about this is called _Nutrition and physical degeneration_ . It's a thick book full of pictures of family members who either ate the traditional diet or the wesstern diet. It effected their face shape, teeth development. Basicall all the tribe members had perfect teeth and well developed facial structure and the ones who adopted western diet did less so.

[@oscarl.3563]

@@PowerRedBullTypology I've heard of him. Good stuff. Our craniums and brains have grown smaller as well, the biggest shift was probably 10k years ago(or whenever) when we began growing crops. But I think there has been a modern shift as well.

[@Nerdy-By-Nature]

@@oscarl.3563 HUGE shift in autoimmune disease/chronic illness since the introduction of industrial oils and GMO crops. Not to mention soy in everything. We see 80-somethings who have more stamina and less chronic health issues than 20-somethings.

[@oscarl.3563]

@@Nerdy-By-Nature Very much so. Heart disease/coronary disease as well - virtually unheard of a century ago. Alzheimers, PCOS are now being called type 3 and 4(or was it 5?) diabetes, as more people realize the connection between sugar and these diseases. Tumors feed on sugar, it's been known for a long time. The most important thing is to cut out all boxed foods. Processed foods, fabricated foods, artificial foods. "Just eat a steak."

[@actazrath5878]

Do your work or deddy will duck you up.