I went on vacation and left EU4 running - EU4 AI Only Timelapse

[@LinkStorm13]

Time traveler *moves chair a little bit. The Timeline: Spanish East Sibiria

[@XXelpollodiabloXX]

God this is such an underrated comment.

[@JerkWarlord]

😂😂😂 So fuckin random hahaha

[@alldaygamingofficial8494]

Right? I was like "wait wait wait ✋ what just happen

[@epiriotis9533]

Too bad, Germany does it again 😂😂😂

[@Darkry]

Time traveller- *moves chair a bit* Germany- "Welp, guys... time to do some serious blitzkrieg this time and conquer half of the world already"

[@voltaic5]

In this timeline, the spanish conquistadors fell for the legend of El Helado. The famed city of icecream in Siberia

[@infernium2068]

Exceptionally underrated post.

[@leoh3616]

This couldn´t be more underrated.

[@luisitocomunista546]

Te amo

[@redshuttleredacted6422]

? sorry

[@JonatasAdoM]

@@redshuttleredacted6422 El Helado would roughly translate as the icey. Like El Dorado means the golden. Ever heard how the Italians call icecream? Join it and you'll get the joke.

[@loudgoat5241]

Germany is like "Well I don't know about everyone else but we're well past 1821 so I'm just going to go ahead and do Hearts of Iron anyway"

[@siegechamp2295]

Das tausendjährige Reich!

[@unskilledwarthunderplayer4011]

@@siegechamp2295 more like SECHTAUSDENDJÄHRIGE reich

[@siegechamp2295]

@@unskilledwarthunderplayer4011 *sechstausendjährige

[@Flw-uv2md]

noone knows vic2 :(

[@megadyed4645]

@@Flw-uv2md i feel you brother, lets hope vic3 changes that

[@equilibrium9135]

That moment when Germany is hardly on the map and suddenly you realize someone was turned down for the art academy.

[@arianmushkoli1475]

The painter we all waited for...

[@martingantenbein176]

Sounds like a prospering future for my country. Am German.

[@edp-xo1on]

​@@martingantenbein176based the Jews ruined Germany

[@nostalgic_nickname3935]

@@martingantenbein176 even as a German that joke is grenzwertig

[@martingantenbein176]

@@nostalgic_nickname3935 Wehrmacht denn so was?

[@Zamsky39]

That the game didn't crash for a week is an achievement in it's own right.

[@cursedalien]

Yeah. My computer would've committed suicide if you left it on for a week.

[@BloxDavidd]

@@cursedalien my computer did multible times after afting to run for about 2weeks because of homeshooling last year, poor boy never really recoverd

[@annexamv2776]

@@BloxDavidd 😢

[@FalkyRocket2222]

1.4k likes and only 3 replies seems quite strange

[@themanwithallthewrongopini3551]

I can’t even run hoi4 on lowest settings for a few hours. I have save that shit and let my computer wipe the sweat until I make it suffer more in late game.

[@manooxi327]

It's like Germany kept purposely missing a chance to appear in previous Timelapeses, so it can come out in style in the biggest one yet...

[@griffinhunter3206]

It was only once germany made the Ottoman's name placement terrible that i noticed them

[@TheMastertbc]

Germany: I'll be back

[@aksmex2576]

That was a nice germany and mughals. Kind of like man in the high castle.

[@JonatasAdoM]

They were binding their tine.

[@futureshock382]

"Gehen groß oder nach Hause gehen"

[@zexrim]

His pc while running it: Damn I need a vacation too

[@frederickvonrauken5508]

your comment is underrated

[@adrianfernandez9984]

You deserve 1 thousand likes, but until you get there I'll just blow you a kissy kissy muah muah

[@GADJEMAN]

@@adrianfernandez9984 I've got a news for you

[@aowl5218]

"Boss, I'm tired"

[@justamanofculture12]

@@frederickvonrauken5508 your reply is underrated

[@madjack1748]

I like how Germany just sits there doing not much for a bit then just decides "fuck it I need to show Austria how it's done."

[@gengarzilla1685]

Somewhat historically accurate then.

[@michaellohmeier6427]

So basically the entire Austrian-German history up to this point?

[@ryanfedora8928]

History teachers will tell you that Spain invaded South America in the 1500s. What they DON'T tell you is that the Spanish then proceeded to move their forces to Southern Chile, drilled straight through the center of the planet, and emerged on the other side to conquer Siberia.

[@mikefowler301]

lol!

[@gammothguy297]

Lmao

[@dbensdrawinvids8390]

The greatest flanking manuever in history. Nobody saw it coming.

[@Matuterocks]

The way they held the Urals until late game...

[@Arelenedhel]

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

[@agenthyena4752]

Ottomans: You Can’t Defeat me! Austria: I know…but he can Germany: *Reaches 999% discipline, 100% Professionalism, and fulfills “Army with a State.”*

[@thetrain47539]

Austria: "Our Empire might fall, but so shall yours!" *Awakens Germany.*

[@cianbarry9207]

Big Boss: *heavy breathing*

[@MER_1]

Nice comment👍👍

[@druganema8219]

Mughals way superior

[@rayvaul3539]

More like Germany: *Earrape Erika starts playing*.

[@HeWhoShams]

"Its... it's all Germany.." The 78th Reich: "It always has been"

[@diegobatista2239]

Hitler The 3823th be like

[@offdeck8588]

@@diegobatista2239 his final reincarnation

[@theemperor3557]

Mughals and Mexico: We are the last powers of freedom

[@rodrigomartiniriboldi2168]

es war schon immer!!

[@mr.raslyon6626]

Its all Mexico over here 🤣🤣

[@BrandonQ1995]

The Urals remained Spanish for 4 thousand years before finally falling. Respect.

[@nerdynautilus5373]

Gracias comrade!

[@keiranferrier3642]

The rest of the world: *furious scramble for land and power Japan: *watches anime for 5000 years

[@HSVForeverandeverlol]

One Piece still not finished

[@Lihinel]

@@HSVForeverandeverlol Oda said he is like almost done, no more than 5 years left to reach laugh tale and start the final arc. ... ... 6583 it is.

[@kshitizsrivastava9429]

@@HSVForeverandeverlol 69 likes lol😂😂

[@taramaforhaikido7272]

Just one flaw with that logic. TV isn't even invented yet.

[@Timnifico]

I just need you all to know likes on this comment = nice 😏

[@AlphaSections]

Everyone Else: "Haha! I've burned down your castles, crushed your armies, and taken your land! Austria: "What ever you say, Brother-in-law!"

[@paradropgeneral4397]

lmeo

[@heavencanceler2691]

Brother-sister-wife-husband-daughter-son in law

[@happyslapsgiving5421]

@@heavencanceler2691 That's not how human biology works...

[@DanksterPaws]

@@happyslapsgiving5421 Tell that to my aunt mother who married my brother who is my cousin twice removed

[@happyslapsgiving5421]

@@DanksterPaws They still aren't hermaphrodites.

[@antiradiationsnowy1536]

Seeing Spain and Austria do so well only to end up irrelevant is historically accurate, I'll give it that

[@cherryscarlett]

both of them had foreign dynasties they overthrew

[@dophan6938]

Habsburg power

[@ab9840]

How can Spain be irrelevant today if its the worlds thirteenth largest economy. They also have the 18 most powerful military. Austria who knows. They are 29 on the economy list and 59 on the military list.

[@antiradiationsnowy1536]

@@ab9840 It's more of a joke on my part, mostly referring to the image of it in the public eye that seems to forget about it's contributions

[@rrb396]

@@ab9840 honestly, any countries military outside of the big 3 is pretty much irrelevant today.

[@kkbbss]

I like how denmark took over all of scandinavia and went like "Well lets call us self Scandinavia now" and then proceeded to stay the same size for 2000 years just to be instantly taken over by Austria in a single year.....

[@simpro1756]

Austria propably had a PU on Scandinavia

[@thomasrad5202]

they let their guard down

[@Jake-hd7lt]

Props to the Cyber Queen who reigned for nearly 4 centuries in the mid 3000s

[@votrexz5974]

Isabel be like

[@Levon0Whynot]

Technological advance I guess

[@orukarm]

There’s something cheeky about that

[@LioncatDevStudio]

Queen Elizabeth got a new name I see

[@Tsuruchi_420]

Like, i don't play eu4, how tf did that happen?

[@Eliezer3838]

Germany once Austria starts to die “Alright, my turn.”

[@juancmf9634]

Well, the germanic world was finally united

[@notyourfriendlyneighbor2733]

Germany:ITS MY TURN ON THE X BOX

[@Xqvvzts]

"Fine, I'll do it myself."

[@joechillstudios]

Germany: “fine I’ll do it myself”

[@aaronsouthard8366]

Gutentag

[@YooToobah]

Watching Spain be pushed out of Siberia after thousands of years was the hardest thing I've ever had to watch on KZbin.

[@handenbramilton]

top 10 anime betrayals

[@1337-Nathaniel]

I was rooting for Spain for centuries!

[@alexanderbarsukov1796]

True, man. I was very sad too.

[@alilabeebalkoka]

You mean watching Siberia being pushed out of Spain?

[@empaladordelolivo1587]

Mi España....

[@markevans1618]

I love that Germany was the underdog and just very slowly creeped up to a powerhouse just enough to not attract attention and last minute rule 1/3 of the world

[@justicartiberius8782]

That's our current plan. Just wait and watch, it's only a matter of a few millennia's now!

[@melodiclogic9904]

they tried that, it did not work in real life

[@Icetea-2000]

Yeah Austria tried to invade them over and over but couldn’t bring them down, until eventually being conquered themselves

[@discordlexia2429]

@@melodiclogic9904 Actually, I'm pretty sure Germany's attempt at world conquest was the opposite of slow and methodical.

[@melodiclogic9904]

@discordlexia2429 youre right haha, lebenstraum...

[@noaccount4]

384 year long reign 6 6 4? Hot damn that's an Empress of Mankind

[@DiegoRoblesGallardo]

Elisabeth II: hold my beer

[@phytalia]

hold my tea

[@sakuraleaftea9208]

Its year 3676 and life expectancy have increased, have some foresight.

[@universe1879]

I guess they finally inbred their way into success

[@VainerCactus0]

Some serious life extension technology.

[@legendsofequus5303]

Seeing the British Isles just get labelled "Austria" is so funny to me.

[@belisarius6949]

Mine now :)

[@zuludude2]

It makes more sense that way, considering Australia.

[@lakersouthpaw]

Austria innit?

[@xoxo94]

Yoink

[@henrypaleveda7760]

Austria kept reforming, that was actually a big surprise to me

[@learodrigues3108]

As a Brazilian, seeing "Portuguese Alaska" on the map unlocked a new fear I didn't knew I had inside me.

[@LordFokas]

surrender your gold and no one gets hurt.... probably.

[@mareksicinski3726]

why?

[@diegobatista2239]

what in the actual fuck

[@GumSkyloard]

Oh Léa, vai estar tudo bem. *prometo.*

[@ulliulli]

The "Alaskian" is the inverted "Brazilian"... if you know what I mean. (hint: hairs!)

[@bravecylinder93]

I love how Germany just goes full sicko-mode in the 4000’s Oh and the fact that Florida is just it’s own independent state, and the US being squeezed into the east-coast, only half the size of it, is truly something to behold.

[@andreaslahmberg5641]

40s, 4000s - whats the difference?

[@gengarzilla1685]

Several millennia of difference, but I see the joke.

[@TjayK2]

Florida man don’t play

[@puria1998]

Me: I bet Russia's gonna be one of the 10 countries Literally 10 seconds later: *Austrian Russia*

[@Mambldor]

Just imagine-how the Russians had to strain themselves to go from small provinces in 1444 to become so big now

[@jackhalliburton4220]

I picked two countries to make it- Russia and England. Austria PUd both

[@kirilll7806]

U just described me in the beginning

[@tacitozetticci9308]

@@Mambldor That's as hard as walking through thousands of kilometers of uninhabited taiga and tundra and claiming land along the way. Sure, it becomes hard to communicate with all the empire once you have it, but expanding was pretty much the easiest part. As expected, we ended up with two glorious cities: Moscow and St. Petersburg, and all the rest of Russia which is just a bunch of mud.

[@tacitozetticci9308]

@@Mambldor Oh right, I'll be happy to come live in Russia when it warms a bit and Italy becomes a desert.

[@Dopebenedict]

imagine finding out god left his computer on while on vacation and everything humans have done is just for a 18 minute timelapse video

[@seanstamper1459]

233 emperors?!? Das crazy. *new save*

[@ivan_d_feets4495]

It be like that

[@wanderingronin6462]

Underrated comment ngl

[@joansantana7983]

I wouldn’t doubt it .. lol

[@E4439Qv5]

You could make a religion out of this.

[@miguelchavez6486]

GB: you can’t invade me Austria: but I can give you a ring ;)

[@discipuloschristi3341]

100th like

[@DaRealKakarroto]

One ring to ... bind them.

[@miguelchavez6486]

@@DaRealKakarroto Austria in a nutshell

[@christschess7069]

Bella gerant alii, tu felix Austria Nube!

[@GiraffeFeatures]

Also Austria: Yeah we might be culturally English and basically only control the British Isles BUT the tag says Austria so we’ll still be eating Schnitzel!

[@Endrit719]

people in 1900: in 2000 there will be flying cars in year 5000: people still fighting with cannons

[@MiauZi69]

I would prefer the cannon and cavalry future to the AI future to be honest.

[@johnr797]

"Spanish Tartary doesn't exist, it can't hurt you"

[@dzarko55]

god, spanish siberia was super common in a few old versions from years ago.

[@pavarottiaardvark3431]

@@dzarko55 As a historian....it's not TOTALLY bonkers. Like, if a European power established major coastal ports on the pacific before Russia pushed east or China pushed North, sure, I can imagine a Siberia settled by a European maritime power...

[@aqpatt4675]

Well Siberia sounds very similar to Iberia so...

[@johnr797]

@@pavarottiaardvark3431 so, reverse Russian Alaska?

[@Thecodez14]

The moment Germany appeared we knew exactly where this was going

[@googlestinkt5184]

True

[@ahmadfabhli4133]

True

[@StormierNik]

Even now they're still waiting for their moment again.

[@googlestinkt5184]

@@StormierNik true. But this time more diplomatic

[@shanghelios9442]

@@StormierNik Als ein Deutscher kann ich das bestätigen.

[@alexisauld7781]

*Looks away for a moment* *Looks back* "Spanish Tartary" "¿Que?"

[@Teatsax]

I know right?

[@fabio-965]

da

[@elmowilcox]

I’d love to hear the history of Spanish Eastern Siberia.

[@MsCheshirskaya]

Same! Deer empanadas with juniper salsa, I assume

[@geraltlamb9566]

Here you go! A story from GPT A.I. (Poe). Sure, here is a brief historical fiction story for Spanish Eastern Siberia: In the early 19th century, a group of Spanish explorers set out on a journey across Siberia, hoping to discover new lands and resources for their country. They encountered many challenges along the way, including harsh weather conditions and hostile indigenous tribes. Despite the difficulties, the group eventually arrived in a remote region of eastern Siberia that was largely unexplored by outsiders. They were surprised to discover a small community of Spanish-speaking settlers who had been living in the area for several generations. The settlers had originally come from Mexico and Peru, but had migrated to Siberia in search of adventure and opportunity. Over time, they had adapted to the harsh Siberian climate and had developed a unique culture that blended elements of Spanish and Siberian traditions. The explorers were fascinated by the settlers' way of life and decided to stay in the area for several months to learn more about their customs and traditions. They were particularly impressed by the settlers' resilience and determination in the face of adversity. When the explorers returned to Spain, they shared their stories of the Spanish settlers in Siberia with the rest of the country. Their tales inspired many other Spaniards to travel to Siberia and explore this new frontier. Over time, the Spanish settlers in Siberia established their own independent kingdom, known as Spanish Eastern Siberia. The kingdom flourished for several decades, with a thriving economy based on fur trading and agriculture. Today, Spanish Eastern Siberia is a multicultural society that celebrates its unique blend of Spanish and Siberian traditions. The people of Spanish Eastern Siberia continue to face many challenges, including harsh winters and limited resources, but they remain resilient and hopeful for the future.

[@HWEspana]

@@MsCheshirskaya Sounds like you´re confusing latino with spanish

[@MsCheshirskaya]

@@HWEspana do I? I thought Spain and LatAm shares empanadas as a food

[@semregob3363]

inquisition and wiping out of local culture... nothing new

[@mjf69]

I love that Japan is just being Japan. Occasionally trying to take over shit, but largely being entirely unaffected in the 5k years.

[@Camelotsmoon]

Ikr. I'm pretty sure Japan was the only one that was content with just chilling out lol.

[@brandonhughes4076]

"If I stay absolutely still, maybe they won't see me"

[@icecoldchilipreppers]

So fitting how isolationist they are both in the game and irl.

[@meowkii_]

@@icecoldchilipreppers well only since WW2, before that…not so much lol

[@lebendigesgespenst7669]

@@meowkii_ they literally had centuries of total isolation before ww2

[@itsaps9880]

Life on the Mughal Ottoman border would be literally hell

[@connormcgee4711]

I really hope that the only reason it looked like constant wars was because of the speed of the timelapse. If not, the devastation in game was probably 50-100 in most areas

[@jamaluddinkhalifa8371]

also note how the Mughal-Ottoman border was *THE ENTIRETY OF PERSIA!!!!!!!* as in, it kept moving across the whole region. so *that whole region* would be devastated.

[@basketcase77]

So pretty much real life

[@yendothegamer9880]

It would have been a huge demilitarized zone

[@Jolper]

Patrolling the mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter

[@karlhungusjr1]

anyone else notice that the three biggest countries are basically Eurasia, Oceania and Eastasia from 1984? they even seem to fight along the same borders.

[@lunakoala5053]

George got the date wrong by thousands of years but put it on the title anyway. What a Guy.

[@jordanwutkee2548]

Yes! Even "Austria" isn't too different from "Airstrip One."

[@lslusa]

I wanted to point out the same thing. Orwell nailed the geopolitics well.

[@mareksicinski3726]

@@lslusa no, it has nothing to do with 'geopolitics', it was based on the rough historical state

[@idonhaveanyideawhattocallm1472]

I guess humanity is just pre determined for 1984

[@VoidUnderTheSun]

When the Spanish Urals finally fell, I shed a tear. Thousands of years civilisation. Truly a remarkable culture 🫡

[@Overlordough1201]

I was literally thinking "man, Scandinavia's untouched!" when Austria fucking flash-grabbed it

[@SethanderWald]

Same! Lol. I just blinked and it was gone. 😂

[@Reid52]

The power of royal marriages

[@vhgiv]

I was rooting für Austria. Then i saw Germany was still in the Game and was Like... Well either one is good enough

[@NotTheBomb]

Bruh, I read this. Then looked back up at the video, and it was gone! Lol

[@Rikard_Nilsson]

looks like Scandinavia didn't even try to expand once it was formed.

[@dragonfire72]

I love how everyone else is invading massive territories but Britain decided to reenact the 100 years war

[@ConcreteCrescent]

Not only reenact it, but they stubbornly kept that shit up for over 1,500 years until the Austrians came calling.

[@Vysair]

@@ConcreteCrescent old habits die hard

[@dumb747ness]

@@ConcreteCrescent cant think of a more stubborn country in the world than Britain

[@Nikelaos_Khristianos]

​@@dumb747ness A-fucking-men, wat wat.

[@Neion8]

@@dumb747ness France?

[@WelcomeToDERPLAND]

Seeing Spain and Japan siege down Austria Russia for a few thousand years was pretty hilarious.

[@AM-we1es]

Was that Japan or Mexico?

[@fusssel7178]

@@AM-we1es should be japan, mexicos colour is a bit lighter

[@tomothan]

Austrian Russia acting like a mfing strobe light

[@devvytm]

The thousand year siege of Muscov. We need a documentary ASAP

[@christiangaming-fy6rv]

Japan and Spain : HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TEACH YOU THIS LESSON OLD MAN

[@alexdavies7367]

With those pacific islands, this was a real chance to establish Austrian Australia. Bag fumbled by the AI there tbh

[@willg3717]

Austria: "I am going to be Britzerland" *Turns into UK*

[@AbCat4]

That's basically what happened, except it was Saxony. :)

[@TheEtherGaming550]

Imagine coming back to the home and realising that you haven't turned off pausing on event pop up and all experiment fucked up

[@mh7a135]

@Proli imagine replying after 5 days

[@presidentirinavladimirovna7054]

@Proli imagine not letting people enjoy things

[@novelas3536]

@@presidentirinavladimirovna7054 Him enjoying things makes me not enjoy life so he is not letting me enjoy things.

[@presidentirinavladimirovna7054]

@@novelas3536 sucks to suck then

[@SagittariusCorp]

Imagine all the people.

[@LighthouseCape]

Despite under constant threat of the enormous Mughal empire, Japan managing to hold their mainland till the end gives me the impression that there seems to be no shortage of anime and hentai in this universe too.

[@mareksicinski3726]

and even conquered some!

[@SamGarcia]

Anime in its modern form is only because of Disney. Without Disney, it would look like the woodcuts that is more Chinese inspired.

[@hebleh5771]

Russo war......

[@alexeyprofi3951]

@@SamGarcia they had manga before disney existence

[@SamGarcia]

@@alexeyprofi3951 I know that, just that it looks nothing like we see today. It looks like the woodcuts.

[@chattenmetchad]

This is what the world would’ve looked liked if Steiner attacked

[@alireza3667]

This comment is underrated

[@zMustheMadMan]

DAS WAR EIN BEVEG!

[@jacobpeters5458]

@@zMustheMadMan Das War Ein *Befehl*

[@KnightspaceORG]

@@jacobpeters5458 Information is ammunition alright

[@Icetea-2000]

Lmfao

[@fortusvictus8297]

After a few thousand years of rule, can't help but wonder about the culture of 'Spanish Tartary' or the 'Spanish Urals'...

[@alilabeebalkoka]

🗣️ Speaking Spanish and the rest is a mystery since it is cold ❄️🥶 up there. We do not 🚫 have any 💡⚡ ideas of what the cultures development would look like. Interesting thoughts

[@johnjaeger3746]

Snow Mexicans

[@Teatsax]

@@johnjaeger3746 we are talking about Spain, not Mexico tho.

[@johnjaeger3746]

@@Teatsax and Mexico started out as a Spanish colony just like Spanish Tartary

[@jesusrv2009]

Bullfighters fighting Bulls but both completely drunk with Vodka => Everybody dies TM

[@user-mp9fv5bf5d]

-Mom can we go visit England? -Mom: We have England at home. England at home: Austria.

[@Dumby_the_dum_dum]

japan just Continue isolating himself from the world till the end of the game... nice

[@biggycheese4443]

nah they invaded china, you can even see the eastern coast of china is shinto, they got pushed back dohe

[@fusionreactor7179]

They probably played extremely tall

[@derederekat9051]

they were like "let the savage fight their wars, we will invde their minds with big anime tiddies"

[@devvytm]

Classic case of: They can't swim so let's stick to our island 🤣🤣🤣 We see it all the time.

[@Dumby_the_dum_dum]

@@derederekat9051 lmao true

[@obrien4217]

As an Austrian I am quite pleased that my country not only survived, but also has been leading the Holy Roman Empire for thousands of years!

[@bjarnonegames5394]

well i mean the actual country did not survive

[@dallasflynt]

God imagine how the Habsburgs looked after 3000 years.

[@smncoolidfk]

Their chin is now visible from space

[@Alexanbreizh]

They'll probably still find their cousin desirable ... But they would be the only one.

[@Rabidfox-gc5fw]

I'm certain that there is a creepypasta about the hapsburgs today

[@laurenkirby97]

I'm assuming they'd be just inhuman blobs occupying chairs and generally looking like the navigators from the david lynch dune movie

[@axelpatrickb.pingol3228]

@@Rabidfox-gc5fw Yeah, there is. It's called SCP-3288...

[@Joe1729]

I love that "The United States of America" consists of half of Cuba and that's it

[@Praetori]

State of America (and a flag with one star on it)

[@LordS20000]

@@Praetori no my friend, each tiny island and town is its own state in the great United States of Cuba 🤣🤣

[@axelpatrickb.pingol3228]

The most surprising thing is that the United States of America manage to exist 5000 years after...

[@chaoticnachos380]

the world: "did you get Cuba?" USA: "yes." the world: "what did it cost?" USA *looks at Mexico spanning two whole continents* "everything..."

[@johnjohnson5082]

@@axelpatrickb.pingol3228 but not mexico?

[@user-ft3jq5vi2l]

Austria: You get a PU! And you get a PU!Everyone gets PUs! Germany: Screw this, I'll go play HoI4. Mughals: Well I got dynastic ties to Genghis Khan so why not follow his steps? Ottomans: BLOB, BLOB BLOB, KEEP BLOBBIN-oh great now Germany's blobbing too pls don't kill m-

[@thewizardcat9934]

Underrated comment

[@kkaazzzz]

Japan: Just chilling Kazakh: stop stop Stopppp Spain: -_-

[@kkaazzzz]

Mexico going fucking crazy

[@kkaazzzz]

And Malaya: no stop Mughals ha Japan no stop Mughals ha Japan no stop Mughals ha Japan

[@Matthy63]

When I saw Afghanistan tag switch to Mughals I was like ohno

[@meme-lu2yu]

The fact the US is just Guatanamo Bay and surroundings is so beautiful

[@couragecoachsam]

Just imagining the millennia-long history of Spanish Ural

[@Teatsax]

Paella+bodka. What could go wrong?

[@emperorpierogi9772]

@@Teatsax Dunno man, probably not very good for your digestive system

[@hector2756]

@@emperorpierogi9772 paella is healthy

[@emperorpierogi9772]

@@hector2756 Not sure if it stays that way with vodka

[@hector2756]

@@emperorpierogi9772 with vodka nothing is healthy xD

[@MaximQuantum]

Plot twist: We are living in a simulation and the creator left on vacation for a week.

[@lillycline1414]

That explains the fucking noclipping

[@windelsiarza4140]

Well!!!!!!!! Shiiiiiiiittttttt

[@l1u1t1t1]

I hope he comes back soon because it doesn't look very well right now

[@f1shyspace]

@@lillycline1414 hol up

[@KiraSlith]

@@lillycline1414 Explains mag locking too.

[@MinaeVain]

*Leaves game running for a week unattended as an experiment* Windows Update: allow me to introduce myself

[@Tetragramix]

Just keep pc offline. Can't download new updates.

[@taramaforhaikido7272]

Fuck. Windows 10 updates. That's screwed me over so many times since my comp is always on. And I can't just leave it offline because of online contacts. Freaking windows 10 forced timers. Windows 12 better have a toggle off even when online option (skip 11. It's shit).

[@TheTpointer]

@@Toast_6 isn't windows 11 just windows 10 in worse?

[@DevideNull]

@@Toast_6 They are about to add ads to the file explorer, it's so good that I will never use windows again

[@CrossBreedTacoHD]

Wow that's so dystopian...we truly live in the worst timeline...

[@Morgernstein]

I loved the empires stretching from the top of Norway unbroken down to the Congo, I would be fascinated by the society that could hold together for thousands of years enduring a perpetual war with nearly 900million dead. Also loved how long Spanish Urals lasted and the fact that 1700 years later they still spoke Castilian.

[@Bl4ckDr4co]

I just like imagining that she ruled for 384 years due to some insane technology and then they were like "No we probably shouldn't let that happen again" and instituted term limits for emperor.

[@The_True_Mx_Pink]

Americans during the 1700s.

[@HeadsetHatGuy]

*I am the Senate.*

[@pineapplelollipop1074]

There were no rules in America about how long you can be president until after the 1700’s, before that it was just tradition that they would only stay president for 8 years.

[@The_True_Mx_Pink]

@@pineapplelollipop1074 America didn't exist before the 1700s.

[@pineapplelollipop1074]

@The True Mr. Pink sorry it wasn’t until 1951 that it became a law

[@billwithers7457]

Honestly, only 2 billion dead from war over the course of 5,000 years is pretty good.

[@nstplc-mk4pm]

i'm sure the sum of all deaths in conflicts is probably in 5 billion xd

[@aralornwolf3140]

That's soldier deaths... calculate civilian deaths... and the human race is now extinct. :)

[@alexeysaranchev6118]

Rookie numbers.

[@japanpanda2179]

For the last 2500 years, after Spain and Turkey were kicked off the world stage, there were basically no wars except the occasional conflict between Germany and India.

[@l.h.9747]

Thats only the casualties of the remaining countries though

[@Arthur-jx8bm]

Damn if you had Leviathan enabled those development numbers would definitely be in the millions.

[@sarahalexander7256]

Doubt, concentrating development is about "moving from here to there", it's not actually more development than before, just clustered in a single province, would probably have higher number yeah but nothing exceptionally different than he got as it is

[@tgoas9142]

@@sarahalexander7256 concentrating dev lets your dev go insane because rather than devving a 1000 dev province for hundreds of mana, you can dev a 3 dev province for like 10, and then concentrate it all in the capital. However, there's a cap on how much the AI can dev its provinces, so it wouldn't make a huge difference.

[@sarahalexander7256]

@@tgoas9142 I don't think the AI concentrates dev, but pillage is in the default peace deal offer so that's how the capitals grow huge. Personally, never tried to dev up that way, as eventually you end up losing mana either way as you lose dev when you concentrate (unless you meant centralize state?) and it can only be done every 50 years. I'll try it later

[@tgoas9142]

@@sarahalexander7256 you lose some dev by concentrating, but spending 25 mana on a 3 dev province twice to gain 1 total dev is a better deal than spending 200 mana on a 50 dev one. Over time it stacks up to a large degree, even after they made it much less broken.

[@Arthur-jx8bm]

@@sarahalexander7256 pillaging capital is making dev though

[@will8805]

World: “Germany, after all this time?” Germany: “Always.”

[@Afrologist]

Germany: *replaces European languages with different dialects of German* "Ah, perfectly diverse"

[@REAL2222ful]

Sort of what happened with Romance languages...

[@REAL2222ful]

@@youngalek4434 well, the Reich lasted a little longer than 1000 years, so yes.

[@matthiuskoenig3378]

@@REAL2222ful yeah in this universe the different dialects of german are likely quite different (seeing as this world is stuck in 1821 tech, and language standardisation didn't really work for the masses untill the late 19th/20th centuries, Rhennish and saxon are probably as or more different than protugese and romanian...)

[@checkcommentsfirst3335]

Actually the most hated dialect here haha

[@OatmealTheCrazy]

Is it worse than Proto-Indo-European dialects :^)

[@quuaaarrrk8056]

I love how Austria’s first step was to unite with Hungary.

[@naturegirl1999]

The Austria-Hungarian Empire forms again

[@quuaaarrrk8056]

@@naturegirl1999 Yes. They should probably avoid Sarajevo though

[@oldploopy1298]

how on earth did one person live for the better part of half a MILLENIUM in charge of the HRE. HOW

[@martinus_mars]

*MILLENIUM

[@oldploopy1298]

@@martinus_mars damn bro u right, gonna edit that

[@_Yume_mp]

Just a guess, but maybe kings live longer the further the game continues, because of medicine and improvement of tech.

[@AlreadyTakenTag]

It wouldn't be fun to live for 300 years. Imagine how fragile a human body is at that point.

[@ghostsheepy.]

@@AlreadyTakenTag i could be a living fossil

[@zalrek]

Props to the camera man in creative mode for recording this footage for all these years

[@barsyelken2518]

Nobody expects the spanish inquisition. Especially in siberia

[@Epic24123]

The fall of Kazach was kinda depressing, you could really see them desperately fighting it.

[@youuii1]

5000 years and the divine wind still kept the Mongols from Japan

[@jemm113]

And all those leftover shinto in Korea and eastern Siberia 😂 Those priests were working overtime for divine blessing for their ethnic homeland 😂

[@Lyric_Radical]

Germany straight up just woke up one morning and chose the 4th Reich.

[@akumaouja4062]

Given the timeline I think it'd actually be the 5th or 6th actually, it collapsed like twice there for a lil bit.

[@crusaderACR]

@@akumaouja4062 Well... The first one never died, it remained till the end under control of Austria even if in name only. Historically it would have been disolved by Napoleon.

[@googlestinkt5184]

Wet dreams finally came true

[@dismiss3d323]

"Where is Germany?" *boss music starts*

[@livedandletdie]

Germany is everywhere, I bet if he had kept the simulation running, Germany would reach their dream of world conquest, they're still after it IRL, so why not in game.

[@TheMastertbc]

@@livedandletdie Germany starts existing France: Oh no!

[@Real-Rat]

@@TheMastertbc "øh nòò" with french voice

[@sadgetrollge5614]

It's even funnier if you imagine it with terraria boss music.

[@darcksage1]

I love how Scandinavia was just chilling and happy with it's little corner of the world not bothering anyone and then Austria was like, NOPE.

[@matthiuskoenig3378]

AEIOU

[@Alex-di9kr]

I shed a tear when Scandinavia fell

[@gengarzilla1685]

Definitely a PU.

[@BattyBest]

Start of the game: *Great, historical, makes sense.* End of the game: *Confused Screaming*

[@monsterfurby]

This turned into an almost exact replica of the 1984 world map.

[@regardedvelociraptor]

Oh shit you're right.

[@smncoolidfk]

Germany was always at war with the Mughals.

[@GyorBox]

He's not wrong...

[@f1r3hunt3rz5]

Wait what, holy shit this game is realistic

[@SalvosSalvo]

@@smncoolidfk no germany has always been allied to the mughals i know cuz big brother told me

[@jotarodripjo4449]

14:05 Breaking news. Florida man forms his own nation

[@antoinelachapelle3405]

*panicked shrieking*

[@benadams5557]

They did for a few days, then they spent a few years in the USA and left to join the CSA

[@geraldhuff7413]

And then he merge it with Mexico! All part of the plan! (Zeanch maniacally laughing in the background as he leaves through the back door)

[@strongpoke]

Even 5000 years wasn't enough for Germany to pillage Stalingrad and finally reach the Arkhangelsk-Astrakhan line. *Laughs in pierogi*

[@mareksicinski3726]

pierogi?

[@strongpoke]

@@mareksicinski3726en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirozhki en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierogi

[@kirilll7806]

U mean Volgograd

[@dartanyan2462]

More like *laughs in empanadas and salsa*

[@idonhaveanyideawhattocallm1472]

They got moskau though

[@AmericanFirst01]

Impressive, fun to watch! Good to know the sea levels don’t rise after all. 😅

[@zerbusgamez]

Me: Waiting for Germany to disappear to make the "NEIN NEIN NEIN" joke Germany: "Sorry Bro"

[@Kappazit]

Me: Waiting for Germany to dissapear to make the" NEIN NEIN NEIN" joke Germany:" NEIN NEIN NEIN"

[@mr9293]

@@Kappazit why do guys keep saying 9? (Just a joke btw, because how it's pronounced. I know it's "No")

[@kael629]

So stainer finally did the counter attack then

[@Johann_Gambolputty_of_Ulm]

Austria is like this constantly healing boss, that gets from 10% back to 100% health again and again. That must have been so frustrating for the Ottomans ^^'

[@alformodoritos2076]

I imagine they must have put a lot of forts everywhere to make it harder to conquer them. lmao

[@thalmoragent9344]

@@alformodoritos2076 Lol, a nation of no cities, just Forts that everyone lives in 😅

[@anttitheinternetguy3213]

@@thalmoragent9344 every family lives In a self sustaining Castle 😂😭

[@Psychx_]

Beware, we Austrians created Hitler and one day, we accidently might do it again.

[@manooxi327]

lel I can imagine the ottoman sultan clenching his fist in the air: Damn you Habsburg, I'll get you next time as Allah is my witness

[@Li0nX]

1st half as Austrian: “Ya! Ya! We take it all!” 2nd half as Austrian: “Nein! Nein! Ze Germans!”

[@felixzahner495]

1st half as german: "Come on little cousin, you can do it!" 2nd half:"Hm, Europe, Northafrika. Ok, the moustache mans big dream finally becomes true.

[@Heligoland360]

1st half as English: "No! No! The Austrians" 2nd half with English culture Austria: "I'm fine with this."

[@baoxidiaoyu]

Dose darn Wester Reichers

[@broncobalboa]

as a german living in mexico i enjoyed the results.

[@ygotsvlog3762]

Me who knows that austria is just weird germany:laughs in anchluss

[@Norrikan]

I'm sitting here marveling at the thought of a four millennia Spanish Urals history and how _any_ culture could or would have developed during that time. I can only assume things went a bit beyond fur-lined cardobes, at least.

[@wellno7377]

Everyone : **is at war* Malaya : "hey, what about *trade* ✨"

[@mohamadfaizzudin6869]

Chillest nation ever xd

[@blitxaac]

We cant do war

[@euproductions8615]

The whole south East Asia: Trade?

[@mohamadfaizzudin6869]

@@euproductions8615 in any given period/era:Business is booming!

[@depressoespresso8116]

Japan: *grabs popcorn

[@ukulaylaANDme]

As an American, the scariest thing I saw in this video was giant Florida

[@wjzav1971]

Reminds me of that South Park episode where New Jersey starts conquering everything and Colorado has to ally with the Al Quaida to defeat them.

[@extended_e]

Honestly in current situation I would welcome that

[@interiordagoth]

the fact that florida exists gives me an existential crisis every day

[@robertwood9572]

Oh my god me too, I was like “no no no no, we don’t need Florida taking over the damn world”

[@interiordagoth]

@@robertwood9572 i mean a whole half of this godforsaken wasteland is practically florida so we were already too late

[@ClemensAlive]

"Three times a charme." - some future german dude

[@fyr3st0rm65]

never heard that one before, how original and funny

[@f1shyspace]

Funne

[@R4in46]

Fun

[@loyal8332]

Fu

[@adamplentl5588]

F

[@bobdolesrevenge]

Congratulations to Montezuma for finally getting his revenge.

[@AlcerusOfficial]

Americans: Wait, it's all Mexico? Mexico: Siempre ha sido.

[@joeybiden2682]

amazing

[@lonelyblackhole727]

Your not wrong though mexico did once have California and Texas plus a bit of others land. Until somethings happened

[@jaybonn5973]

As someone who can read Spanish, ja.

[@celeridad6972]

Yeah basically half the modern USA was Mexican proper some time ago, and before that MORE than half the USA was Spanish (Louisiana, Florida). Really, the USA is just the east coast; the rest is conquered and purchased land.

[@davideduardocalderonparra6346]

Jajajajajakajq yo vi a mexico comerse colombia y dije "aqui fue mexico potencia"

[@raikouzenkoujitsu3294]

so this is what it feels like to be a scientist observing a pre-FTL species in Stellaris...

[@tuskam]

Damn, playing to 6th millenium even in stellaris is overkill :D

[@SalvosSalvo]

Thats why you invade and then enslave or eat them

[@erikmckoul2478]

@@SalvosSalvo At McXenos we pride ourselves on making the defective or dead xeno slaves useful.

[@ayporos]

Not really. the diversity in populations spread across distant lands makes it impossible for something as indicated in this timelapse to occur. There could never be a 'nation' spreading all of western europe and northern africa called 'Germany', the people and cultures are too diverse to ever allow such a thing. The same way you can really only manage about 100 friends/aquintances max, so too can a single 'country' only ever span a certain amount of (diverse) land and cultures. The english isles being called 'Austria' is very unlikely as well.. they would simply re-name it back to England to honor their roots.. either that, or the entire english population would have to have been wiped out and replaced by people of austrian origin. I don't know this game nor how advanced its logic is.. but from what I can see there's wayyy not enough fracturing and splintering of big states for it to be realistic.

[@ryanhughes6405]

@@ayporos yeah your not wrong. You can have the Roman empre come back conquer most of its historical territories and remain stable and not die again. Or other such crazy stuff like Aztecs holding onto a large part of Europe with no rebellions and more

[@obviousbear1289]

Island nations once again proving that the AI just can't ship.

[@Peatingtune]

England/Britain would definitely have remained if not for that inheritance by Austria.

[@richbob9155]

@@DoubleAAce In this playthrough it was England not Britain. Scotland was wiped out at the start. I agree people call Britain England way too much but this is one example where it is just England. Also seperatists mostly exist in my country (scotland) because they think Braveheart is non fiction. Its mostly idiots with no knowledge of history. Most scots are happy to be a part of Britain.

[@mk_gamíng0609]

@@richbob9155 A lot of it is people buying into Sturgeons lies If you actually read EVERYTHING sturgeon has promised a Independent Scotland will be, its a load of bull Sturgeon said that Scotland will get some of the UKs Navy, equipment and airforce Big issue The Military have said no, and since the Military is not owned by one Single country in the UK it belong to all of them Scotland has no right to any of it Day 1 Independent Scotland Will have NOTHING to protect itself Scotland will have to build a Navy, Army and air force from SCRATCH Sturgeon also said Scotland will join the EU To join the EU you need all EU countries to say YES As long as one says no ,your not in More than one country have said no already. Did you know Sturgeon bought a house in Germany If she gets her way she will leave for Germany and watch what happens safely in her German garden

[@TheMrKlowb]

@@richbob9155 "Most scots are happy to be a part of Britain." Bullshit

[@narcissus853]

*20% of Scottish population work in England - 25% of Scotland either unemployed or underemployed and rely on UK benefits system to subsist: another 20% of Scottish population on top of that are nearing or already over retirement age* Just imagine for a little while if you can temporarily displace that SNP cock buried deep up your jacksy how Scotland looks without English taxpayers subsidising everything... I'm sure the Germans will be happy to "aid" us just as they did Greece though...

[@Promethalus]

brittain actually having wars on the shore of France for a few hundred years was so very accurate

[@nicholasogburn7746]

After 20,000 years: “Hey…why are the oceans getting smaller?” After 30,000 years: “Hey, who’s this ‘Emperor’ guy?”

[@alonelysoul9071]

I AM THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND. BOW BEFORE ME.

[@phileasbrecht6518]

My faith is my shield!

[@Brother-Vasteel]

FOR THE EMPEROR BROTHERS!!!

[@Thorhammerable]

@@nosywendigo592 That’s Holy Terra for you

[@LaggyKar]

After 30 000 years: The empire is in decline. 30 000 years of barbarism await, but we can shorten it to a mere 1 000 years.

[@ferwiner2]

Germany not only conquered the Holy Land, but also pretty much all of the lands ever mentioned in the Bible AND they converted almost all of it to catholic. That is something.

[@embreis2257]

trouble is, with a Catholic mindset you'll never be able to have an economy and a research community for the needed new technologies to sustain a modern sprawling empire. much easier with protestant work ethics^^

[@tupacshakur4evar943]

@@embreis2257 Protestant work ethic is gross 🤢. Like, no, I'm not gonna slave away until I'm a sack of bones for the benefit of some fat bastards. Trying to tell me "Uhhh no, you can't take a vacation cuz I need more money".

[@a_rush]

Yes but if Germany made everyone protestant, a LOT more people would have been mad.

[@etholus1000]

@@embreis2257 Thank God for Protestants

[@bringsnsdback1645]

I don't think they have been converted more so killed/replaced . Also the Bible has been altered so its a little bit unreliable

[@adamsevcik7708]

imagine living for 384 years and still be 6-6-4 ruler :(

[@mareksicinski3726]

6-6-4 is pretty amazing no?

[@pequenoperezoso3743]

@@mareksicinski3726 think he meant she didn’t get to 6 6 6 (because she’s not a republican governor)

[@riccardospadini5555]

New to the game: how is it possible for a ruler to live 384 years?

[@CobbleChups]

@@riccardospadini5555 the older the ruler is, the higher chance of death he has So either it was some amazingly lucky RNG, or some values overflowed due to how long the game went on and death probability was kept on low % chance - probably the latter.

[@riccardospadini5555]

@@CobbleChups got it, thanks!

[@carefulilickwindows6881]

Spain the entire game: We just be chillin Germany: That's not how this works

[@ViquelOoste]

Every French citizens when Germany and Uk eaten up France from both side : "We've Been Tricked, We've Been Backstabbed and We've Been Quite Possibly, Bamboozled"

[@xXMrZentusXx]

Austria for 3000 years: "Look at mein amazing Reich, Deutschland! Who ist der little brother now?!" Germany 4000 A.D.: "Danke, for keeping my Lebensraum warm little brother. I will take over now."

[@belisarius6949]

As an Austrian this hurt to read :(

[@Philipp.of.Swabia]

@@belisarius6949 keine Sorge kleiner Bruder, wir werden euch nie überrollen, speziell nicht in unserem jetzigen Zustand xD

[@geoffrey6000]

@@Philipp.of.Swabia XD

[@admontblanc]

@@belisarius6949 Kleine Deutschland :)

[@belisarius6949]

@@admontblanc besseres deutschland :)

[@carlospaz2246]

Spain, you did well, you deserve a rest. You were surrounded by enemies and you managed to survive thousands of years like the Chad you are. Congrats

[@deltachimaera]

Quiero pensar que en esta línea alternativa la llama de la hispanidad se la quedó México y logró lo que E’pañita no pudo: dominar toda la América continental

[@vincentwhite938]

@@deltachimaera yo también, ademas seguro muchos españoles emigraron a México después del colapso.

[@ddan1998]

With the KZbin translation I can finally understand these

[@catriona_drummond]

sometime in the 5th millennium: "Tell the lord duke of Berlin that we appreciate his words.... ....but this is a Spanish regiment." *sad music starts playing*

[@Garmagic2yFhenrakh9]

Thank you

[@das_praetor572]

Siak being the one to form Malaya was hilarious ngl, and the fact that they've survived for 4k years says seomthing about their competency

[@legolite45]

Please post your electric bill next month

[@poyraz4734]

hahshahahahhahaha

[@affirmonego5202]

I mean, I don't have to be on a vacation for my pc to be running 24/7

[@aksmex2576]

LMAO.

[@devvytm]

tbf, my computer is pretty much always on and it doesn't do much to my bill. In fact, 1 day of ironing my clothes burns more electricity than the washing machine and my computer combined.

[@velicanavc4401]

@@devvytm Excuse me, but how? 🤐

[@Gaphalor]

When germany was so small I was like: "Cmon little Tiger you can do it!" I wasnt dissappointed!

[@fantinilukasz]

than became to be a nazi monster

[@LeastPatrioticIsraelbelike]

Why are everyone fine with killing people because of religion?

[@anakiap.w1673]

@@LeastPatrioticIsraelbelike what

[@realdaggerman105]

@@LeastPatrioticIsraelbelike 1. Tf u on about 2. It’s a video game 3. What do you mean wait that’s basically 1 um

[@LeastPatrioticIsraelbelike]

@@realdaggerman105 Maybe im a little harsh about germany killing people just because of their religion,AND killing people who help them Just thinking about the millions of my religion getting killed!

[@VirgoShelter]

Austria inherited- Hungary Bohemia Russia Portugal UK Spain Scandinavia

[@MatthiasDrinksH20]

Through the power of ince- politics

[@kieferkarpfen6897]

@@MatthiasDrinksH20 Just like in real life

[@henriknordlund4680]

And Scandinavia.

[@radziwill7193]

And still lost.

[@VirgoShelter]

@@radziwill7193 they tried

[@Theplaymaker1271]

Ah yes the great Mexican Canadian war... That was a difficult time for the world

[@poudink5791]

Yes, it was truly an unfortunate time to be Frisian.

[@cherrysky1550]

Hail the Vampire Empress Maria Theresia!

[@Vincrand]

Guess she was of Transalvanian culture.

[@alanetchetto8908]

Thats some WH Fantasy Vlad shit there

[@Marcelo_Pedro]

Elizabeth Bathory's pupil

[@anttitheinternetguy3213]

Imagine just living your mere 80 odd years long Life knowing the Queen is The same hag That ruled when your parents, grand parents, grand grand parents, grand grand grand parents etc lived 🌚