Ever say yes when you should say no? WATCH

[@JayLance]

Oh man, I could tell you stories... I look back over my first few years in business and I said yes to SO MANY things I should have said no to! For me the lightbulb finally went off after about the 800th time hearing every creative freelancers least favorite phrase "it'll be GREAT exposure for your business." You know what? For the 800th time it was NOT great exposure for my business. It was just another instance of me discounting my rates, hating the work, and dealing with yet another PiTA client who (as they always are) was WAY more difficult to work with than the clients who were paying my full rate. Once I learned to say no my life and business got immeasurably better. Thanks, Derek!

[@CathySirvatka]

Jeff Lanctot Oh my gosh, are you a web designer??? We lived the same experiences!! I’ve also heard, “you can use it for your portfolio.” Makes me cringe!

[@tiranorod]

I'm going through a very difficult process revolving saying no right now. I have some 10 year friends that I love a lot but they are going down a path of passively living waiting for retirement that I know I can no lomger be a part of and some years ago I decided to say no to hanging out with them when I headd the classic "you are the sum of people you hang out with" advice and it has been heartbreaking to have them reach out for me and realizing I won't be there. The gut feeling is real and you can call it anything but you can't deny it is usually on the spot. Great video and great quote by Sir Richard Branson... there's always another bus...

[@massstigma]

Actually had this happen to me yesterday. Bad client, doesn't pay on time, over demands on the project, etc, etc. He requested I work on a new project for him, actually said no and he needs to make another plan. Such a simple thing felt so good!

[@rkshorter]

I love how you are writing "STOP BEING SO NICE"... yes I had to pause the video and see what you were writing. I couldn't say no to my curiosity. OK but seriously I think this is my favorite video you've done this year. I really needed this right now. I have a lot of balls in the air and am starting to get overwhelmed with my choices. I am taking comfort in knowing there's always another opportunity coming. But I need to make the right choice now to open my life for what I really want to do. So I need to really think hard now about what to say no to. And as to why it's my fav video, you seem really real in this one, not yelling at the camera (although that's always amusing), and telling a real life mistake that we all can learn from, in such a raw way. Thank you, Derek. :)

[@nikkil9311]

Thanks for the fantastic tips! I especially love the "if you have to find the yes, it's probably a no". I have been working on trusting and listening to my gut more and more. I also love the "there should always be a specific reason", instead of a vague yes. Seriously awesome! Thanks!

[@CathySirvatka]

You are SO right! I, like you, don’t get out of my house much. I was invited to a networking event that I have been to before. It has never been good for me. My sister wanted me to go with her. I totally thought of it as a waste of time but said yes for her. The event is in 2 weeks and I’m already dreading the waste of time. But I said I would go so I like to stick to my word, esp. for family. When I agreed I thought ‘well, what if I do meet one person who might be good for me.’ Ugh. Love Mr. Bities!!

[@speakingeffortlessly1137]

The third point resonated most with me. I don't really suffer from saying "yes" to too many things, but whenever I decide to go or not to go to a specific event or do or not do a specific activity, I always ask myself what concretely am I getting out of it. Sometimes, it's just because I want to give that experience a try (this thwarts off FOMO), but if there's no good reason, I say no.

[@catrinamarie6268]

The "What If" tip is very useful. It really cuts through all the BS. Specifically, when working with clients I have an interview process now to make sure that we will be a good fit together because of one particular client who was not a good fit for working with me. I knew from the first 5 minutes that what this client wanted was very different then what I could provide and yet they still wanted to work with me even though I kept saying are you sure because...In my coaching package at the time I allowed unlimited texting and emails in between session. Well that just about did me in! Not only was I incapable of helping this client but they took up all my mental energy in every spare moment I had. Never again.

[@richardharris5336]

Really useful tips. I often fall into the trap of being negative about opportunities and saying "no", but the idea of needing a concrete benefit makes things a little clearer.

[@dianatower2165]

Omg...yes. I used to teach ESL for a company and they would call me up to offer classes. I remember accepting a class from 9-1030pm 4 nights a week. It was only for 4 months, I was doing them a HUGE favor. Great...but then I had 4 months of the shittiest schedule ever. It killed my social life, I wasn’t getting enough sleep and it sucked. Being able to say no in the mo is super important. I say no a lot more these days.

[@RussHowePTI]

Yep. Happened when I took on a new PT client even though I felt we didn't really have a good vibe between us the first meeting. Did it for the money and ended up not looking forward to going to work whenever I knew I had to train that person.

[@jbrisland]

I have taken freelance jobs that were low paying for the work. And often the jobs would turn out to be more time intensive that I initially thought. I should listen to that gut feeling and rather spend the time focusing on finding higher paying jobs!

[@jonphillips1043]

I’ve accepted clients for web design as well as personal training when I knew for a fact they were going to be trouble. Most issues stem from my failure to include contract terms specifically saying what is NOT included in my services. Clients pay for one thing and then assume they’re supposed to get a lot more than what they paid for. So I’ve had to get very specific with my contracts to protect myself from getting burned again. I’ve also had deals where my price is agreed upon in the contract but the client wants to haggle my rate when future payments come due.

[@apoesk21]

I said yes to a composer gig which turned out to waste my time as the client wanted an exact copy of a famous track. Which first and foremost is not legal, at least for me to do without permission. I kept changing the track until it was as close as I could make it. The client accepted my work. I got some great composition-skill. But I will be more careful in the future, trying to understand what the client wants, in the first place.

[@GingerVertican]

I looooove watching you get out in the town! It's one of my favorite characters in your daily stories.

[@GingerVertican]

Who hasn't thought the entire world or at least the entire room wasn't watching when they were making a tough decision? I have definitely let social or "status" pressure push me into a business deal that I shouldn't have agreed to. Because while you think you're doing the thing that will get you the respect or commendation you deserve, when and if it goes sour, you're the only one held responsible. It's a very miserable feeling. Those people- real or imagined- that you thought were pushing you into the deal or had expectations of you don't pay ANY of the price in the aftermath. So when you make your choices be sure that YOU are the one that's happy with them because in the end you are the only one who has to answer TO yourself and FOR yourself.

[@crystalobregoncoaching5807]

That's helpful advice. Happily, I was tempted to do this training about five years ago, it was the first time it was offered and it was half off at the time. I asked a mentor's advice and he told me there's always more money, not so with time. Especially since my kids were younger at the time!

[@rotospace]

I don't have to say no much in the drone game...I just fly and film the world from above. You know, it's so much more peaceful up there. :) BUT...there are some clients who want footage edited after the fact (and I know, no matter how kick-ass I make the edits, I know they'll never be pleased). For those folks, I turn over the RAW video/image files and wish them well. 🚁💨💨💨 Oh yeah, bring back the notifications GONG, BELL, etc. :)

[@sarahgoldsbury4013]

This happens to me ALL THE TIME. I start with a NO. Then they try to make me feel bad for saying no... and I end up feeling like an ass and caving in. I know it's a bad idea, but I explain it away to myself that maybe it'll work out. It NEVER does. A few weeks later and my gut says 'I Told You So'.

[@NatalieHjelsvold]

Yes, yes and yes...dammit! I know deep down when I say yes, that I should have said no. And then you scramble to find a way to get the hell out of it when I know I shouldn't be there. Thanks for reminding me that I need to listen to my gut and say no when it doesn't work for me.

[@RodBurkert]

Hey ... great stuff (again)! In this video what journal/notebook are you using to sketch out your ideas. Thx!

[@ambrasultzbaugh2429]

This is the kind of content that makes us go, awww, Derek, my new BFF, said THIS!.... I said yes to too many dates in my 20's LOL. I should have been working on my business :)

[@DiegoPereyra]

Right on point again Derek... thanks...!!!

[@markcerisano4268]

Great advice. May I make one small suggestion. Is it possible for your videographer to set the manual focus and leave it? The auto focus keeps making you look blurry.

[@DerekHalpern]

Mark Cerisano no

[@peternyiri8586]

I would really love to have the problem of having to turn down $20,000 speeches, but unfortunately I am not there yet...

[@briantrainsforgettheshow4737]

Considering I have an ex-wife.... yeah, probably..

[@JasonPaulRogers]

LOL.

[@hypnotherapynearmeonline]

100%! Go with your gut instinct, this is your unconcious mind screaming load and clear

[@faheeta5036]

How much did Horizon Window Treatment pay you to Sponsor?

[@YouCanBrand]

Love the editing in this! Have you seen the show on Netflix called "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee"... I think you'd LOVE it, since it's like three of your favorite things in one show.