What is an intrusive thought?

Before getting into tackling intrusive thoughts, it's so useful to look at what they are. Why do you dislike some thoughts and not others? Here's the previous video on the 5 Whys exercise that I mentioned: • OCD is a weed. Rip up ...
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[@thomhoff1431]

Ahhh I totally get the intrusive thoughts whilst talking to someone, I can respond as if I'm still listening to them but in my mind I'm completely sucked into the thought and my focus is no longer on the person

[@MetaITurtle]

I love this becuase its like finally I'm not alone. My anxiety has lifted already

[@ue6592]

My summary, *Intrusive Thoughts:* A trick of the brain to keep you worrying about something it does not like about you or to disgrace itself/you (these usually fall under couple of themes but seems like you have unlimited types of intrusive thoughts!) They *repeat* over once they come in or triggered Sometimes it's *A SHOUT* But in most times, more energy & time consuming.. come in a form of A pulling *WHISPER* Not doing anything about what these thoughts are conveying is *worrisome* to you.. At the same time, you get *annoyed after reacting* to/with them, after you are done with -the compulsion-.. Can be in *big* things, like changing careers or getting a divorce.. or in *little* daily things, like compulsion of changing the subject while in conversations.. Exercise: The 5 Whys, there's a video on that, to get to the root or origin of these thoughts, down to the unhealthy beliefs, "the misery rat wheel"... P.S. English isn't my first language

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for sharing!

[@jaceallen4985]

I’ve had intrusive thoughts before and there still at the back of my mind. What I did was react to them in a calm way and I’d journal it. Also I wouldn’t take it personal and it just left my head.

[@stephaniemoura9325]

Your videos made me understand that OCD is much more present in my life that I thought of, it is on the way I care about other's opinions, it is on my checking the of the door is really locked after locking it, it is also present when I think that if someone didn't reply me doesn't mean they don't like me

[@mrbatista666]

i have made huge progress in my recovery. these stupid thoughts don't control my life anymore. but they still do annoy me. i know exactly what is causing them. i have this habit of checking for any scary thought that would ruin the situation i'm in. say if i'm enjoying myself with my friends, i might think "what if spending time with my friends isn't important? what if i'm not able to enjoy" just to "test" if the thought would ruin the mood. i think the thought and sometimes get tangled in it. i know this is exactly what you refer to as hitting yourself with a hammer. i just don't know how to stop! it's so automatic. i can question anything whether it be an experience, idea, feeling or something important in my life! and the thing with mindfulness is that every time i come back to my senses, the first thing i do is to check whether the feelings of depersonalization etc are there and that of course brings those feelings back. engaging in something absorbing always takes away all my symptoms. i try to do those things on a daily basis

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I find it helps to work on beliefs, judgments, and desires. If you believe it's bad to have a particular feeling or you believe that feeling will lead to some consequence you want to avoid, then of course your brain will check. And you can try to cut out that checking but your brain will believe you're doing something very dangerous. But that belief is a choice. And if it's not particularly useful, then it could be a great time for a new belief. I explain some more in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJbcn3V7e8iFmpY

[@andreasskoglund4829]

I just finished your book Mark. It was an amazing book :) I will return to it and I have written down some exercises from the book that I will practice in my daily life. Thank you! :D

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you for reading and sharing about it! I'm glad you found it useful :)

[@crystalrader7920]

What's the book called ?

[@andreasskoglund4829]

Crystal Rader The Mind Workout. You can order it from Marks site.

[@nicholasp3401]

Mark your videos have really helped a lot and have gotten me started on my path of not just living with these things and taking away the symptoms to feel better for now but to take on the problem so I don't have to drown anymore

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Enjoy the swimming!

[@ryandigings7335]

Mark, again, you hit the nail on the head! It's actually something I've done and figured out before (we have actually conversed about this). The consequence for me is always 'death'; which I know for certain is my core fear. everyway my anxious thinking pops up tends to trickle back down to this. I suppose my question is; what do you do with that fear, to stop it having this negative affect on your life? It's a complex subject, I know...

[@everybodyhasabrain]

The best antidote to the fear of death is living your life. The more we react to the fear of death and let it control us, the more we worry about dying because we're not living our lives.

[@jennybitner415]

I have the same too. At bottom the fear of death or being responsible for someone else's death. It can be hard to know if a behavior is risky or not. Always measuring the level of risk and deciding. It feels like a big responsibility.

[@hereshoping6992]

Im the exact same,

[@valerina658]

Not putting the thoughts in charge of life !!

[@craigsandison5731]

Mark your a saint

[@martymartmusic]

I am stumped and feel like my case is a little more complicated. Not more important, just more complicated. How does one deal with this? It sounds so stupid, but it's destroying me. I told myself that if I ate this certain thing, I would force myself to harm someone I love and nothing can stop me. I ate it anyway because that is basically what ERP tells you to do and now I'm having non stop panic attacks and can't get it out of my head. I'm not using compulsions to alleviate the anxiety and they wouldn't even help anyway. I went against my OCD and now I feel doomed like no matter what I'm going to force this thought on me and never let it go and ultimately force myself to act out this thought. It's the last thing I'd ever want to do and terrifies me, but I can't and won't let it go... when I get distracted I purposefully bring it back up. The fear of forcing myself to think it and act out is keeping it going. How does one deal with this or do ERP for this? It's not about triggers, hiding weapons, or wondering if I'm a bad person or want to. I know I'm a good person and would never want to hurt anyone or anything. It is the fear that just because I said I have to do something , I will do it or force myself to think about it until I can no longer take it. No mattee what I do, i just come back to the thought "it doesn't matter, you made up your mind, you have to act out, there is no escape, you will force yourself to think this and act out..." Please, anyone. I need help. No one accepts my insurance and I can't afford help. My job, marriage and life are on the line right now...

[@cjf5412]

I could be wrong. But didn’t you guys describe intrusive thoughts and ruminating at the same time. Ruminating isn’t talked about enough. IMO. Me and my fiancée do both. Also with rocd. But I do like the whisper theory. It’s like an echoing whisper.

[@tonyphillips1079]

ty

[@genarorodriguez1842]

Mark i need help i dont know what to do living with anxiety ocd is hell i cant take it no more help please (intrusive thoughts)

[@danim1504]

Genaro Rodriguez praying for you ❤️

[@colormen12]

Shit! recovery is cool but man it's hard to keep on the track. I'm getting better at it I can feel it

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Keep at it!

[@colormen12]

Mark Freeman Hey, Mark. How you doin? My issue is when I stop doing compulsions and ruminating There comes an urge to get quicker and getting fast like the Flash from Justice League. I mean when I stop holding on to those thoughts there is this intense energy load up that feels like I should move and do everything quick. Immediately I also get over clumsy. What do you think? Is it anxiety related you think?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I find it helps to see that compulsions are about much more than anxiety. Anxiety just happens to be a feeling we don't like. But mental health is much broader. It's about how we handle any experience. That's why I define recovery as: having any thought or feeling while doing the things you care about in life. Having a feeling that you need to do things quicker is just another feeling. The question is: how do you want to spend your time and energy in life? You can have that feeling and make space for it, just like you would make space for anxiety, and then you can choose how you act.

[@colormen12]

Mark Freeman Thank you for your dear advice, Mark

[@sweetlimesoda98]

Mark, firstly I don't want to give any labels to my intrusive thoughts because I personally believe that I am so much more than them. I think the first step is to tell yourself that you're perfectly fine and intrusive thoughts happen to everyone. Second, my relationship anxiety/intrusive thoughts were triggered when I was trying to have an intimate moment with my boyfriend and I started having thoughts that I wanted to be with the other gender in that moment and I was hugely triggered. While those thoughts don't bother me, what bothers me is "what if" this happens the next time I'm intimate with him because I am anxious t get intimate with him. Again, "what if" I realize that I'm into the other gender? Like it all feels so real? Are sexual intrusive thoughts during sex common? How do we deal with them?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Checking for reassurance like this is the type of compulsion that just fuels more uncertainties. It's not going to make any difference if I say it's common or uncommon. Instead, it can really help to shift the focus to the healthy skills you want to build.

[@sweetlimesoda98]

@@everybodyhasabrain how do we deal with such thoughts when we're getting close with our significant other?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@sweetlimesoda98 But that's the compulsion. It's like asking how to deal with a cloud outside when you're getting close with your partner. That's the problem, not the solution. If I want to give my time and energy to my partner, why am I spending it hating on random brain indigestion?

[@sweetlimesoda98]

@@everybodyhasabrain but when my attraction is affected, how does one not worry Mark?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@sweetlimesoda98 It sounds like you're doing a lot of compulsions! It could help to grab a good book or course or work with a professional to start learning how to cut them out

[@pom2350]

Hi , thank you so much for your videos. This is my first time commenting , sorry if iam asking many questions but i would really appreciate if you answer my questions , (i have pure O) Does automatic inner chatter or speech inside the head classify as intrusive(unwanted)thoughts? And if i reacted to it with fear and anxiety does it become an ocd ?What are the reasons of it? How to do erp or how to deal with it because iam struggling with it and still ( I didn’t have it before) , thank you again for your help.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I found it useful to approach that internal chatter as a compulsion. It's no different than if I was engaging in the same chatter outside of my head to chase reassurance, pick arguments, etc. Here's a video on mental compulsions that might explain things: kzbin.info/www/bejne/d6Oto6WDlL2Ueqc I'd also not approach things as "pure O". Posting the same question multiple times is something I'd see as an overt compulsion--other people can see it, it's not just something internal. Seeing how we're reacting to and trying to control uncertainty can open up opportunities to make useful changes.

[@riteshchandak8437]

hey mark, i just wanted to ask you that do ppl with ocd more prone to the feeling of guilt? my ocd tells me that i m a bad person...

[@everybodyhasabrain]

All humans with a brain are prone to feeling guilt. I found that it helped to learn how to feel guilty instead of trying to get rid of it and control it. It's totally ok to feel guilty while doing things that matter to me.

[@Sam_Lessard]

That’s one of the main symptoms of ocd

[@thelight5384]

Can you recommend any videos for boy age 11? We watched some of you videos but he had a hard time understanding them.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I don't have any that I'm aware of, unfortunately. But I've been getting lots of questions lately about resources for kids. What do you think would help him understand it? What kinds of challenges is he running into?

[@zairagutierrez7538]

Who is the other guy?

[@MarianaFFFernandes]

Hi Mark and Matt! Thank you for this awesome video! I identify a lot with the fear of not being liked. For instance, if we are walking in a group of 3 and I notice that one person is consistently walking in front along with the other person and I am at the back I have thoughts like "oh maybe they like each other more", "maybe they don't like as much", "maybe your not as interesting as a person" and although I don't reassure myself that those thoughts are not true (I notice them and I answer with I will never know the answer to that question), I still get really sad and feel really unlovable and lonely. Can you guys suggest me any exercise to practice break down this belief? Thank you so luch for you work! Best Regards, Mariana, Portugal

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Mariana! I found it really useful to recognize these types of things, too. You can see how the judgments start to pop up and there are two different types of exercises that helped me: 1) Practicing non-judgment. It helped me to recognize I don't have to spend all of my time judging what others are doing. I was doing this constantly throughout my life. I was basically teaching my brain to do it. So my brain very naturally kept doing it. After years of judging everything, learning to practice non-judgment takes lots of practice. One way to get started is to take a walk in a busy place and simply notice how much your brain judges other people. Then you can begin to explore not judging people. We can see things and not stick these unhelpful labels all over them. 2) The other exercise is to show your brain you're not afraid of being disliked. Even when we're working on non-judgment, our brains can still throw up lots of judgments that bother us. In those situations, we can accept those thoughts and show our brain we're totally fine with that. So if my brain worried that I'm not liked, I'd tell my brain that the other person really hates me and they're going to tell everybody how terrible I am, and I can picture myself giving them a hug and not trying to get rid of that hatred. My brain can trust me to handle that :)

[@MarianaFFFernandes]

Mark Freeman Thank you so much for your tips Mark! :)

[@raymeester7883]

Are these the same instrusive thoughts Ben Merzenich talks about? I am struggling with my studies with intrusions.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I don't know who that is. "Intrusive thoughts" is a common term for thoughts/images that people don't like.

[@raymeester7883]

@@everybodyhasabrain He uses that term in regards that which interferes with attention and concentration.

[@rangerover901]

Mark is there a way I can email you?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Sure, there's a contact form on my website you can use: markfreeman.ca

[@rangerover901]

Thanks, I have sent you an email.

[@shwetapawar8687]

That's a good one Mark. Thanks!! On a side note: Matt you have a sexy voice man🌟

[@elijahragland8498]

i dont relate. some of these intrusive thoughts feel more like evil spirits trying to possess me.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Yeah, I'd see that as the intrusive thought. It's very easy to get wrapped up in judging the thought. Some people will get stuck trying to judge if it feels "real" or not. Some will question whether it feels like schizophrenia or not. Others will believe it's "intuition" or the universe telling them something. Others will blame it on drugs. Some will say it's the subconscious or a past self. And so on... I find it's helpful to see those judgments about attribution as the compulsion. That connects to the thing we're afraid of. And it's useful to cut out those compulsions.

[@elijahragland8498]

Mark Freeman more in depth, if you dont mind…

[@everybodyhasabrain]

These things are all about uncertainty. So a big part of the compulsions that fuel the problem is trying to be certain about the feelings/thoughts/sensations we're having. If I say that I "feel like evil spirits are trying to possess me", then that's a good indicator that I'm engaging in compulsions around uncertainty about evil spirits. The issue isn't the feeling. The issue is me trying to judge it and be certain about it. There are likely many other compulsions as well that feed into this one. If you can access a therapist experienced with helping people recover, that can be a great place to get started on cutting out compulsions and learning new ways to interact with the stuff in our heads.

[@elijahragland8498]

Mark Freeman that explaination confuses me. what is an example of compulsion around evil spirits (a comparison ive seldom used and am not using as a certain description)? maybe im not fully understanding what compulsion is. i dont feel im pressing certainty where it is not applicable. “it feels like theres are evil spirits” is not itself the intrusive thought i am having, if that wasnt clear? i have considered getting therapy but i cant afford it and frankly i have a fear of being suspended from society or medicated into passivity (the fear i can pacify but the money issue i cannot. i am not sure how to access that kind of care)…unless that suggestion is just an indication that this dialogue is beyond your expertise. thanks for the insight, pardon the messy train of thought in correspondence.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Yeah, I misunderstood what you meant. I thought you meant you felt like evil spirits were trying to possess you. But this is really one of the reasons it's useful to work with somebody: so you can explain the problem and explore healthy skills together. It's very normal to have fears around getting help. Those are fears we can ignore just like any other fear our brain throws at us.

[@stephaniemoura9325]

Your videos made me understand that OCD is much more present in my life that I thought of, it is on the way I care about other's opinions, it is on my checking the of the door is really locked after locking it, it is also present when I think that if someone didn't reply me doesn't mean they don't like me