Everything Wrong With Exodus 28 in the Bible

[@chesthoIe]

Hold on, ephod just means vest. So vest, turban, sash - this isn't an ancient book full of wisdom. This is an ancient book on how to cosplay Aladdin.

[@thembill8246]

I like to call vests "torso shorts." Torso shorts: for when your arms are fine, but your tits are cold!

[@lucywillis4535]

I think it's a tabbard... Like what a cleaner or dinner lady wears...

[@catmageddons]

Yeap hahaa

[@peejay4606]

🤣.. that's a great one. I'm stealing that.

[@alguno1010101]

next chapter, Prince Ali with Aaron as Aladdin and God as the Genie

[@davidstorrs]

What's more likely: 1. An all-powerful god cares a whole lot about his priests' fashion choices. 2. Aaron realized that he could scam other people into giving him fancy clothes by telling them that God commanded it.

[@blackice9088]

It's definitely 2...

[@DarkRaven4561]

To be honest, this sounds more like the priests deciding they want them some fancy duds, to set themselves above the common followers, then justifying it by saying ‘God wants it this way, nah for reals dudes, we ain’t just making this bs up you know’…

[@danacampbell5982]

"God wants you to be rich."

[@ChipArgyle]

Silly hats. You can't call yourself a real religion if you don't demand the wearing of a silly hat.

[@brendabenjamin155]

The spaghetti religion wear a collander, I think they have perfectly demonstrated it😀😀😀

[@tgbedini]

@@brendabenjamin155 Yep, the Pastafarians have cleverly lampooned religious practices for a while now. Everything from sacrifice (He boiled for your sins!) to bragging (my god has bigger meatballs than your god.) to the wearing of the colander, they poke fun at the silly rules by being sillier.

[@brendabenjamin155]

@@tgbedini , I love it, I think thoughty 2 turned me on to it, and I was intrigued. Yup, I like their platform 😀😀😀

[@rembrandt972ify]

@@tgbedini Can you think of a sillier hat than a colander? This is explicit proof that Pastafarians are far more true than any other religion.

[@rcblazer]

It's starting to feel like God is trying to get the Israelites to throw him a Sweet 16 party.

[@patbrennan6572]

Funny.

[@losttribe3001]

God is the Honey-Boo-Boo of fiction!

[@MetaphorUB]

Perhaps a quinceañera. Nah, women don’t get parties in the Bible.

[@consciousmindgame5047]

🤣🤣🤣🤣👍

[@Chez114]

Today on Extreme makover: Christian edition

[@Sonjacrow]

Technically Old Testament Jewish Edition. The New Testament would be Christian

[@Chez114]

@@Sonjacrow True but it didn't have the same ring to it

[@sieri00]

I finally understand why it took them 40 years to traverse the desert. God kept bugging them with elaborate shopping lists

[@danacampbell5982]

Plus they had to lug all that crap around.

[@karsten69]

Hermant: I'm amazed that god hasn't asked for a glass of water. Me: Last time god did something with water, things got a little out of hand.

[@PBAmygdala2021]

Oh snap!

[@jeanine219]

That was funny!

[@jalalsalehofficial]

Literally could have just made purified water but drunk church is more fun

[@brendabenjamin155]

My goodness, with all of this gold on he must have a hard time walking or even just standing

[@tpseeker3367]

Thanks for the flashback of good ole Mr T & the A Team

[@oxydator]

This is probably where the "ceremonious walk style" stems from; the high priests in several cultures wore plenty of gold, silver and other bling, making them walk slowly as they literally had to pay attention not to get exhausted or out of balance. I think it would not be too far fetched, watching some political or religious ceremonies where the code requests walking slowly still nowadays.

[@brendabenjamin155]

@@oxydator , I didn't even think about that perspective, right on

[@MoonWomanStudios]

God could give them all houses with running water and powered by solar but instead he's wants something pretty.

[@GameLeaderR]

And he wants them to build it themselves for him too lol.

[@wizolufa1452]

God built the entire universe in 6 days yet he can’t simply build himself a tabernacle? He has to orally instruct flawed humans on how to build a perfect one for him? Doesn’t add up

[@drathonix9930]

And why does he need humans to worship him anyways? He's God.

[@wizolufa1452]

@@drathonix9930 he also delights in the smell of burnt offerings for some odd reason. But to your point, i guess he wasn’t satisfied with the worship being offered by his angels. He needed more

[@beverlybarnes3122]

Nothing in the bible makes any sense.

[@heckinbasedandinkpilledoct7459]

@Nen_ Master what evidence?

[@jeanine219]

Thank you Hemant for holding our hand as we tread through this Exodus debauchery on this "holy day".

[@northshoregirl8173]

"The Breastplate of Decision" - Harry Potter or Dungeons and Dragons?

[@rwandaforever6744]

If it has no other modifiers and enhancements, I would say Potterverse. For D&D it has be to a legendary object at least and have some +100 and a way longer name^^

[@rowdydirtyboy7984]

Bibleman!

[@piperatthegates914]

Wait. What about the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?

[@slartibartfast3041]

I’m sure I got that playing Skyrim

[@highpath4776]

Its sort of wandering into masonic orders.

[@davee.9906]

God the Pimp. Because only a Pimp knows about gems and purple cloth with gold tassels and chains and rings.

[@davee.9906]

@@harveywabbit9541 Ok Hippie. Lol

[@davee.9906]

@@harveywabbit9541 Yup, I'm sure there's some part of every ancient religion and fairytale all mixed in there. Good stuff. 🤭

[@fraustedwhite]

"This is what happens when you don't say NO to a spoiled child." I'm dying over here! 🤣

[@GaryFerrao]

more like cannot say no or he will smite you.

[@CAPSLOCKPUNDIT]

Kinda makes me feel embarrassed for failing to spot the obvious parallels to the hagiography of Donald Trump by Christian nationalists.

[@highpath4776]

@Nen_ Master While I can take a bit of ribbing on how the scriptures are presented, and there is a lot of illogical to modern minds within it, I would look longer at the language forms used, how they fitted in other contemporary cultures of the time lines they were drawn from, and how the poetic forms run within them (which most bad translations miss, and the chapter and versification totally screw the flow of segments, some of which i am sure fitted on cuniform tablets, so have to be abbreviated somewhat, and then written onto the animal skins or papyrus sheets as recording techniques change. Its not surprising that the priesthood rules would survive as these would both be handed down in the family lineage in practical terms , and would have a place to be retained in what became the safety of the stones in the first temple (despite its general sacking by invaders we know that the law was re-discovered by Nehemia. Though some of the clothing reading might be interesting to compare to the well dressed persian of the time.

[@idaniluz652]

a lot of people say that the bible is perfect. for me at least, a perfect book will always be engaging to read. those last few chapters definitely show that the bible is far from perfect.

[@peejay4606]

right.. even the "only cool book" of the bible is revelations, and its a mess of metaphor, incoherent symbolism bordering on " hey, was this written by a drugged up lunatic?"

[@dragieultra6603]

how about quran being perfect tho?

[@idaniluz652]

@@dragieultra6603 I find it hard to believe that ANY book that exists is perfect. I know nothing about the Quran so I can't make specific criticisms on it.

[@chrismassey7563]

Atheists are inherently Greek, they have absolutely no understanding of the Hebrew god.

[@idaniluz652]

@@chrismassey7563 "Atheists are inherently Greek". what does that mean?

[@tonydarcy1606]

Glorifying the priesthood eh ? Now why did the Vatican and its numerous priceless artworks spring into my mind ?

[@peejay4606]

ikr? that was my first thot, 2.

[@Stairdweller]

Hey, remember a while back when he warned us that if it was windy when we climbed the altar, we might expose ourselves? God has a fix for that now!

[@dorotawilliams4028]

Than you for your entertainment! I love to listen to you! ( and your comments are hilarious! Thank you!)

[@davidroosa4561]

when did god rescind these rules? Should I dress like this now? I'm so confused. Does Walmart carry ephods in my size?

[@Kevin_Williamson]

I get that your post was humor. But, just as an aside, the Coptic and Armenian churches still use a version of the ephod for their priests. They wear a vakass, which is a gold breastplate. Only they have the names of the 12 apostles inscribed on the stones instead of the 12 tribes. So, I guess the rules are still (more or less) in place for some. in modern Judaism, the rule only applied to the Levitical priesthood, specifically. There are currently no more recognized Levitical priests and no active Temple so there's no one to wear the fashionable wardrobe. Just a little FYI for anyone if they're interested in that sort of thing.

[@ndevemutisya2285]

We rescinded these rules and hoped god couldn't see or didn't mind.

[@highpath4776]

@@Kevin_Williamson Dont anglican priests wear variations of Vestments (and its where we get vestments from). The shoulder epaulets sound like what generals (see Idi Amin) would wear, connecting the monarch, the priesthood, the military , and the government ( judges and representatives) together and binding the past to the present.

[@Kevin_Williamson]

@@highpath4776 -- I have to say I am unsure of what you are referencing. I even went to official Anglican websites that describe the vestments and there are no shoulder epaulets. I don't claim to know everything so may have missed something, but I have never seen them up to this point. That being said, most of the Anglican churches are in communion with the See of Canterbury. So there is a direct connection between the Anglican Communion and the Crown (since the Crown is involved in the decision-making process for successors to the seat of Canterbury). I am unaware of any real connection to the military beyond the usual chaplaincy. And neither the Crown nor Canterbury have a load of power outside of England.

[@highpath4776]

@@Kevin_Williamson The epaulets was a reference to the military usage ( shoulder pads of the roman / and presumably pre roman - Egyptian, too). Some religions had a full headpiece and shoulder coverings as a single unit that the priest would have had to have been helped into, this is not the case with these rather simple Israelite designs. Dont forget your bishops and their fish - mouth hats , which recall me to the the Egyptian upper and lower kingdom monarch head gear in some ways, A visit to the middle eastern collections at the british museum might be interesting. My local vicar has hi-viz jackets for her cycling in the colours of the year to match the internal scarfs (?) worn during communion.

[@MG-ot2yr]

Sounds like a Bible writer just wanted some cool threads

[@arthurhunt642]

Everything is wrong from Genesis to Revelation. I can understand how uneducated people from a few centuries ago may have believed in God. But we are discovering more everyday about ourselves and the Universe that to continue to believe is bordering on Insanity.

[@chrismassey7563]

The Bible is a Hebrew thing, you wouldn't understand.

[@garethbaus5471]

@@chrismassey7563 are you saying that every translation of every book of the bible including the ones originally written in Greek is incomprehensible to anyone who can't read ancient Hebrew? Or is this some sort of racial thing where only people of Jewish decent can understand the teachings of the religion?

[@JohanKylander]

@@chrismassey7563 Judaism is an Akkadian thing, you wouldn't understand.

[@jimk.7663]

@@JohanKylander - Yep, except Judaism didn't come into play almost thousand years after Moses. It was during King David's 30th year reign that he made Judaism as an official religion.

[@kellydalstok8900]

@@jimk.7663 can you prove that?

[@billjohnston882]

Super lucky that Aaron and his sons are also holy people. It must have been an incredible burden on Moses being the only person allowed to speak with God and just by chance it turns out that his brother and nephews are also holy people that need clothing made of gold.

[@seitisetsoh4991]

Didn't some of them turn out evil? Or did evil, or something?

[@highpath4776]

@@seitisetsoh4991 most of them, hence the choosing of Samu -El, and the role of the prophets vs the priesthood.

[@a35362]

I love when you say "I swear to God...".

[@BennyTwennyGrand]

The creator of everything, needs fallible humans to make all these other things... including the Bible. This stuff is just too regoddamndiculous to take seriously.

[@kellydalstok8900]

Because the creator can magic everything humans can’t make into existence, but is incapable of creating anything humans can make. He can even be defeated by iron chariots. What a pathetic being.

[@JohanKylander]

@@kellydalstok8900 "He can magic anything humans can't make into existence" And he knows everyrhing humans don't know. Almost like God was created to fill that scary gap of human knowledge and ability.

[@bludfyre]

But you see, how else can we show God we love him than by making all this stuff to the exact specifications he gave to us and following all his crazy rules? This is like my kids telling me "if you love me and want me to be happy you will buy me this exact toy I want and if you don't then you don't love me."

[@kristenungstad3252]

"If Aaron doesn't glam up enough to make RuPaul look like a scrub, I'm going to murder him in the face!" - YAH-way

[@d.o.m.494]

If I didn't know you were reading this and just heard it randomly I'd think you were making it up as you went!

[@osaomoragbon7852]

They must be moving in slow motion through the wilderness, with all that bling-bling stones & metals dangling around their persons...

[@janrdoh]

I'm surprised they weren't instructed to silk screen gods brand name on their shirts.

[@FFVison]

Ya know. I just noticed that God indicated that the garments were to include blue. Blue wasn't even really defined as a color back then. The concept of "blue" wasn't even around during the time of Homer in Ancient Greece.

[@paulhench7762]

This is the funniest show I've seen in a long time!!! Well done, Friendly!

[@yorzephyr4378]

Please, if you ever come across an image of what these outfits would look like (assuming it's not just one outfit). Do a short video of them; with any and all variations. I keep imagining a rapper that's gone holier than thou

[@seitisetsoh4991]

Omg, I'm imagining Hemant doing a catwalk strut

[@highpath4776]

There are some pictures in the illustrated good news bible

[@ploppysonofploppy6066]

So..... Priests Vicars, Pastors etc are all commiting sins because they aren't properly dressed?

[@karsten69]

Yes.

[@GumaroRVillamil]

The Early Church in the late fist century and second century, sided with gentile Christians rather than with Jewish Christians. New converts didn't have to become Jews or follow Jewish Law. This allowed for a far larger pool of converts in the Roman-Hellenistic world. This also allowed them to cherry-pick with laws to follow and which to disregard

[@karsten69]

@@GumaroRVillamil but does god see it the same way? or is his wrath just growing for each generation of priests that violate the dresscode?

[@GameLeaderR]

@@GumaroRVillamil Sometime I'm not even sure they believe in God either lol.

[@Janx14]

next time someone says the bible if the infallable word of god, i'm going to accuse them of violating his dresscode.

[@bludfyre]

I feel like the past few chapters have been written by a guy looking at the tabernacle, and now the priests' clothes, and just describing what he sees. Then, since that is what is being used, he just says "God must have told them to dress like that and what the tabernacle is supposed to look like."

[@jeanine219]

It was the colossal imaginings of someone smoking something. These were a primitive, lost, dessert wandering tribe back in the stone age.

[@bludfyre]

@@jeanine219 But if this was written once that tribe had settled down in Judea (both because a primitive wandering tribe would not have bothered writing anything down and because archeology has shown they did have towns and cities) then just writing down what the priests wore for their "sacred book" would be easy.

[@jeanine219]

@@bludfyre Your are trying to make sense out of the nonsensicle.

[@bludfyre]

@@jeanine219 Which is more plausible: a guy describing what the actual high priest in his day is wearing, or some guy creating this insane description of what the high priest is supposed to wear? Like I said in my original comment, a guy describing the Cathedral of Notre Dame in 1700, as if God commanded it's construction, would sound just as fantastical as the past three chapters if you read it 2000 years from now and all evidence for Notre Dame Cathedral had been lost.

[@DruncanUK]

I'm just waiting for God to say Moses got a detail wrong...and then stamp his feet and call for the Manager!

[@Asa...S]

😂 God: "I *said* two onyx stones with the names of the sons of Israel in order of their birth! Issachar was older than Zebulun! And do you call this gold filigree settings? Get me the manager!!!"

[@PA1606X]

@@Asa...S What is Karen in proto Hebrew?

[@Asa...S]

@@PA1606X יהוה‎

[@PA1606X]

@@Asa...S Cheers, it took me a second or two to click. 😀😀

[@treering8228]

My mom and I are so addicted to these! Thanks!

[@patbrennan6572]

The Bible is a mysterious book, the more carefully you read it the more you realize how nonsensical it is.

[@russellmiles2861]

Oh, I don't feel it requires careful reading: probably why it was been rewritten so much

[@SculptyWorks]

We got one-liners about serious stuff like murder and robbery, but several pages about what to wear and where to wear it.

[@PBAmygdala2021]

Good point!

[@nesbo7578]

It’s like god made people, then decided that he’s a six-year-old who wants to play dress up with its dolls (and will pull you apart if you refuse to play ball)

[@beverlybarnes3122]

Or send you to an eternal burning in hell! This god is so loving. I'm 68 years old now When I was a little girl my parents belonged to one of these end time cults. At 10 years old I read the bible myself for the 1st time from the front to the back. I have been an atheist ever since. My parents had no idea that I had completely dismissed everything they tried to teach me. I hated my childhood. I kept it to myself they had no idea. Never underestimate your children they maybe a lot smarter than you think they are.

[@oliviawilliams6204]

@@beverlybarnes3122 trough hell was not a thing for ancient Israelites

[@dragowolfraven3806]

I am baffled that people take the Bible seriously. I look at it the same way I look at Harry Potter. Looking back I never understood why many people in church said fantasy books were evil/satanic. I read the Greek myths growing up and all I got from it was that the Greco-Roman gods/goddesses were petty spoiled brats with superpowers/magic😂

[@chrismassey7563]

If you ever learn the difference between the Hebrew god and all other gods, it will absolutely change your life.

[@machintelligence]

@@chrismassey7563 He certainly seems to be more of a jealous and angry shit. Give me the Norse Gods any day -- they knew how to party.

[@blksmagma]

@@machintelligence I prefer the Mesopotamian ones. There's always a chance for ascendency.

[@starofjustice1]

@@chrismassey7563 Everyone says that about THEIR gods.

[@danacampbell5982]

Harry Potter has more internal logic.

[@johncrunk8038]

Again, where are these poor souls getting all of this gold, precious stones, dyed yarn and linen. I thought they just came through the desert.

[@zerocooler7]

They stole it from the Egyptians before leaving, apparently.

[@suiicretaro171]

This is like my favourite weekly series atm. You are so funny with this, that even such boring chapters are not as boring.

[@grapeshot]

Oh that pesky mix fabric rule. Not only is the invisible sky wizard genocidal, he's the Fashion Police.

[@PapaDon46]

By coincidence only, I have that same outfit. I rarely wear it because it makes me look fat.

[@danacampbell5982]

Do you have something similar with vertical stripes?

[@brynpookc1127]

And it’s got to be really heavy!

[@nesbo7578]

You create the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, then demand a species on one particular planet make the fourth row topaz, onyx and jasper, obviously….

[@failuretocomunicate5266]

I'm sorry, but I really need a fashion show to picture this.

[@yoursotruly]

Never forget, it is the clothes that make the man! In Aaron's case, it took some damn fancy threads to make the people respect him, apparently, there was not much worth respecting before the cosplay.

[@vegasemerald9657]

@yoursotruly Fancy clothes is what makes a man.. I thought appearance doesn’t matter as much as what’s inside people’s hearts. Damn.. The image of “God” is more gilded than we thought.

[@OoOd4v3OoO]

God: "I am all powerful" Also God: "We can only talk if you are wearing the right clothes and these specific rocks and a hell lot of fucking blood"

[@wizolufa1452]

TLDR: God (as if he were a man and not an omnipotent being) wants gold, precious clothes, and other expensive material things

[@SpyderQueen1988]

So God is a goblin?

[@wizolufa1452]

@@SpyderQueen1988 the Bible said it, not me lol

[@thatguywhocomments5534]

Obviously Moses just wants him and his family to have good stuff

[@wizolufa1452]

@@thatguywhocomments5534 If he were alive today he’d be a televangelist

[@highpath4776]

@@thatguywhocomments5534 but given they cannot sell it or trade it, it has no value, indeed treasures on earth get stolen.

[@fraustedwhite]

I'm pretty sure god copied a garment I saw at a D&G fashion show a few seasons ago... so unoriginal. These videos are the highlight of my week!

[@robind.phillips2129]

Wait!? Are they still in the Wilderness? That's a whole lot of orders for materials. So, where are they getting supplies from?

[@joyceandrews1617]

I been wondering the same thing. Some of the stones ordered don't even come from that area. At least now I know why preachers pick and choose which chapters and verses to preach on.

[@AlgeArid]

Especially given that they just spent a huge amount of their stored materials just making a storage space for the arc.

[@Gringo7213]

Don't forget they ...borrowed... a lot of stuff from the Egyptians when they left.

[@blksmagma]

The story about them borrowing stuff from the Egyptians is whats used as an excuse as to where they got their stuff from. The real problem lies in how they managed to find skilled artisans for any of this stuff. Including the Bronze/Copper Seraph God will tell them to make and the Golden Calf Aaron tells them to make.

[@massey904]

They went out and got them from among the other nations.

[@abcd-ev7jg]

Some people think that women are complicated when it comes to choosing clothes. But this is another level.

[@dorememe8548]

I can’t wait to hear your commentary when it premiers! Is this the part with the magic rocks?

[@idaniluz652]

This is the one where god tells you what to wear

[@dorememe8548]

@@idaniluz652 Ah! Okay. This will be fun.

[@chrismassey7563]

@@idaniluz652 God is appointing His 1st High priest clothing him in righteousness

[@blksmagma]

@@chrismassey7563 What is the Urim and the Thummim?

[@blksmagma]

Yep! No one really knows what they are anymore. Most scholars think they amounted to a coin flip of guilty/ not guilty.

[@mikeparsons6391]

Please please 🙏 keep going this is sooo addictive.... loving it

[@machintelligence]

I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy. I see by your outfit you are a cowboy too. We see by our outfits that we are both cowboys: If you get an outfit you can be a cowboy, too. Smothers Brothers

[@FionaBranker]

"Coz sleeves are blasphemous" as a bodybuilder I've been saying this for years!

[@marienbad2]

So according to God, slavery is cool but wearing the wrong clothes to church is bad. Okay, got it.

[@highpath4776]

We all like wearing our sunday best. - the three piece suit for buisness, the miltary uniform of the monarch as commander in chief and so on, the feathers in the hat and headpieces of the native americans.

[@johnalanelson]

Urim and the Thummim are thought to be two nearly identical stones, different only in color. They were kept in bag and one would be taken out to make a decision, essentially the same as flipping a coin.

[@williamwatson4354]

Where are they getting all the materiel they need in the middle of the desert? Don't tell me they brought it all from Egypt.

[@danacampbell5982]

Hmm. Looting and pillaging along the way?

[@PA1606X]

@@danacampbell5982 In The wilderness? 😒

[@reb3liouss0ul61]

This sounds like a weird random mission that the gods in god of war would give kratos

[@digglerdudeuk]

Really enjoying your 'Everything wrong with Genesis and Exodus' series'.

[@drewharrison6433]

It's actually "Everything Wrong With the Bible". Some serious job security here. One chapter a week. Nearly 1200 chapters. That's almost 23 years.

[@drewharrison6433]

@Robert Hunt I think it's hilarious. I wish it was generally acceptable to ridicule people who believe in myth. In my head I do it all the time.

[@drewharrison6433]

@Robert Hunt Nice. Name calling. Are you a child?

[@drewharrison6433]

@Robert Hunt Then don't click on it. It's just entertaining. By the way, ridiculing someone's stupid ideas is not the same as name calling. You do know that we live in America right? You are aware that the vast majority of people in this country are Christians, right? You are also aware that the Bible is not only extremely immoral and generally full of obviously mythical stories that these people believe, right? I personally think after reading your vitriol that your head is a sewer.

[@Wix_Mitwirth]

Anyone who didn't see through this scam gets no sympathy from me.

[@Wix_Mitwirth]

@Robert Hunt who's that?

[@Wix_Mitwirth]

@Robert Hunt that's not what that says. Btw, was that sympathy or empathy? The fact that they're two different words is a clue that they're not the same word.

[@ravilcn]

God should have just blinked these cloths into existence. It is not very efficient to have your skilled hands wasting their time on making this stuff. God really likes gold. He is like that girlfriend who demands many expensive frivolous things.

[@tgbedini]

"A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but diamonds are a girl's best friend."

[@highpath4776]

at one time gold was quite plentiful. The problem today is that it costs the environment so much that the lust for gold gives too much loss of life. we need to get our priorities right

[@tgbedini]

@@highpath4776 I suspect your claim isn't born out by history. If "gold was plentiful," then why was it used as wealth? It had high value, or it wouldn't have been so important.

[@highpath4776]

@@tgbedini maybe the excess gold (was it that king of mali?) was a little later but there was certainly enough to do a trump and hammer it over the wooden doors to the first temple. I suspect it was chosen to reflect the sun.

[@Anecdotal1]

Ugh.... I never realized Exodus was such a pisser. YOU'RE doing great... but the subject matter has gotten really sad. BUT I think my Halloween Costume is coming together! LOL!

[@danacampbell5982]

Good luck finding the materials!

[@Anecdotal1]

@@danacampbell5982 LOL! I have Jewish friends! They're not THAT OLD, so maybe we will just have a nice brisket and latkes! :)

[@tinwhistle4402]

Did anyone else notice how this all revolves around Moses and his family getting precious things and profitable offices? If I didn't know better (*eyes rolling*) this sounded to me much like a con artist making himself comfortable among his victims. But of course not. It's just pure coincidence that no one can hear god's commands except the person profiting from it. Aren't churches embarrassed to have stuff like this in their holy book? Come to think of it, preaching and doing what they do, they must have lost their shame long ago.

[@PA1606X]

No shit Sherlock.

[@russellmiles2861]

Did you notice that no one ever does a sermon of these parts of the Bible

[@thatguywhocomments5534]

@@russellmiles2861 they only do a few parts of the Bible to make it look good

[@highpath4776]

@@russellmiles2861 You could, there is plenty that will point to a reedming christ, and that we ourselves are to be made like precious stones by God, indeed as individuals our worth is in excess than the finest linens, jewels , gold, which should embarrass our leaders and give worth to those that feel they are in the lowest strata of society, encourage sharing and responsible living.

[@highpath4776]

Gold, silver and copper all have a number of anti-bacterial properties, in the absence of much known medical science at the time , people with contagious skin diseases would be required to present themselves to the priests to be diagnosed if they could live in society or have to self-isolate (the test was crude- and actually wrong !) so think covid blisters on young children, there was an element of practicality in the role of priest where it crossed into what one might see as shayman/ medicine man in other cultures (incense burning too is an air cleansing for enclosed spaces - think the fogging overnight machines against covid- I will have to see if some of the window and sunlight in the temple runs as far as directing UVB at least agains bacteria.

[@torgeirmolaug196]

"Considering the scholars' conclusion that Urim essentially means "guilty" and Thummim essentially means "innocent", this would imply that the purpose of the Urim and Thummim was an ordeal to confirm or refute suspected guilt; if the Urim was selected it meant guilt, while selection of the Thummim would mean innocence."

[@PA1606X]

@@harveywabbit9541 Oh dear Harvey, you realy need to provide some citations, and something less than 150 years old would help.

[@PA1606X]

@@harveywabbit9541 If you have no actual modern academic sources, then your interpretation yes.

[@highpath4776]

unlikely, as witnesses were required to be at least two, and not to bear false witness

[@highpath4776]

@@harveywabbit9541 I have seen that arguement made, but I think it is a back-working of the arguements ( though given enuchs and those damage in war, etc, were excluded from normal male superiority roles there is some kind of alpha one upmanship happening). Have we covered the requirement to place ones hands on the priests balls when giving evidence yet ? Personally I feel that bit is a load of old bollocks

[@Whiskey.T.Foxtrot]

God is a bronze age Hugo Boss.

[@PA1606X]

Think about that one.

[@johnking6624]

The whole point of the Exodus is that the Jews moved from Egypt to Israel in 40 years. Given that the distance from Cairo to Jerusalem is less than 500 miles they must have been really, really crap at navigation.

[@johnking6624]

@@harveywabbit9541 You are aware that constellations are just imaginary patterns invented by primitives? The stars of a constellation can be spread across many light years and are frequentlyly not in proximity to each other.

[@Drums-ve8on]

Glad to see the analysis of the bible is back…..better than a good standup comic!

[@YY4Me133]

Why would a god that could speak an entire universe into existence waste it's time telling humans what to make for it, instead of just speaking what it wanted into existence?

[@dwainmarsh9139]

Why did I stop with the whole religion thing? Oh yeah, now I remember. Clothing is sin.

[@donsample1002]

I guess Aaron is so stealthy that he has to wear bells when entering the holy place, so he doesn't startle God, or catch him doing something he doesn't want Aaron to see.

[@PBAmygdala2021]

Yarn and linen.... MIXING FABRICS!!!

[@markozagar]

Exactly! Wasn't there a bit somewhere in the Bible about not mixing wool and linen?!

[@PBAmygdala2021]

@@markozagar Exactly. I thought Hemant had already read it to us. But apparently it's not until Leviticus 19:19 and Deuteronomy 22:11. So at this point, "Yahweh" hasn't thought of this rule yet.

[@JeffreyChadwell]

I might want a copy of Aaron's outfit to wear for myself. It sounds pretty snazzy, but I'd like to see a picture of it before I commit.

[@Asa...S]

This chapter was probably written by some really extravagant costume designer, like that last chapter was probably written by some carpenter or interior designer. Or someone asked why the priests had to have such expensive outfits... so then they had to write this long detailed God monologue, to make an "We didn´t decide that we should have all this, _God_ did!" -excuse.

[@danacampbell5982]

God is always telling certain people to do what they want to do.

[@highpath4776]

I am wondering if these kind of apparelle were first in Persia and came to notice in the first exile , then written backward into the 2nd book of moses.

[@PBAmygdala2021]

I wonder... is all of this so that the "Chosen People" could arrive at their new promised land in style? First impressions, and such.

[@AndreaDiaz-rc3iy]

The fashion always come first

[@stevewebber707]

"A breastpiece for making decisions". Is that something like a thinking cap?

[@beverlybarnes3122]

It's actually a look at me. I'm better than you. You have to do what I say because I speak for god. This is why so called royalty wear crowns on their heads. And they also have very elaborate robes With all of their subjects in their dirty rags bowing to them. Religion gotta love it. Because if you don't they'll kill you!

[@stevewebber707]

@@beverlybarnes3122 Yep, I know it's a reality that authority figures have images to maintain. This case was more amusing because of the phrasing being awkward. I could give a pass on a garb for giving decisions, but this specified for making decisions. And then of course the richness the authority expects to have also speaks volumes. I do recall some cases of preachers getting into some trouble over some excessive clothing spending.

[@highpath4776]

@@stevewebber707 have you seen the nigerian male clothing , esp at religious festival time (islamic and christian), quite a fondness for the gold threads overgarments and lurid colours, maybe it helps to pull the chicks ?

[@dpcnreactions7062]

How are people wondering is in a wasteland supposed to find any of this stuff?

[@adithyarajchoorikat9904]

Just like rich spoiled bride demanding all expensive stuffs for the wedding. we can admire god for atleast saying to feed poor for the ceremony.

[@OnlyFactsPlease]

Boy! Bring forth the Bib of Feasting! Later, I shall require my Socks of Shitting.

[@alvislarson7853]

guess who else forces his people to wear only what he wants? Kim Jong un

[@AwesomeGuy_21]

What does Kim want them to wear?

[@mablenorman5915]

Umm, we don't have any of that stuff, is a macaroni and string neclace ok?

[@secondchance5914]

An amazing video

[@J.L.Media.]

So if they don’t wear underpants they “incur guilt and die”. Capital punishment for not wearing underpants 😂

[@J.L.Media.]

@@harveywabbit9541Ramblings of a lunatic. Thanks for your time.

[@laurajarrell6187]

Friendly Atheist, Hemant. Be careful, you don't want to get repetitive, like the bible! And, I have the feeling moses, Aaron and the sons are saying it's gods' commands, yet sure is enriching them. It's the earlier version of 'prosperity gospel'!👍🥰🤎🤑

[@The_Other_Ghost]

Then there's this: "A greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched. " - God

[@adamstrange7884]

God wants his boiz to be PIMPS!

[@jommeissner]

I've bitten my nails for the tension build up in this chapter

[@mariakendallwas2100]

😂😂😂😂 where did they find these items anyway?

[@peejay4606]

reminder on..

[@cygnustsp]

Lol i remember learning about this as a jehovah kid. We had drawings to study. But yeah nobody knew exactly what the Urim and Thummim were.

[@cygnustsp]

@@harveywabbit9541 that's pretty cool thanks

[@highpath4776]

@@harveywabbit9541 Have you looked at the wars of darkness and light in the dead sea scrolls ?

[@highpath4776]

@@harveywabbit9541 While the ratio of dark to light is extreme at the poles , I have always seen a science in light existing without the sun as it primary source, particulary at the point of creation when generallised plasma gas existed without concentraction sources,

[@werwergtgtg]

The expert has spoken.

[@EmpressMermaid]

Is God competing in the next season of Project Runway?

[@Lorna8264]

God is everywhere not only in this tabernacle

[@hotshotjcb3798]

Wow, what a materialistic god. Next he will be asking for your money. Wait, he does. Why does the almighty creator of the universe need fine linen, gold and our money? What about people who have nothing? God is a narcissist, me, me, give me...Does all the things that he tell us are sins.

[@tgbedini]

The ten commandments, which some christians seem to think are the most important rules for life, start with 4 commandments to kiss god's ass, because he's so insecure. That only leaves 6 to cover a myriad of sins, yet "don't own slaves" "don't molest children" and "don't torture" weren't as important as "you shall have no other gods."

[@peejay4606]

can anyone imagine how annoying that temple service would have been? the bells, the gold breast plates, all those stones, turbine, colors of different cloth. it would have been hilarious looking at Aaron's goofy new outfit. but, annoying as hell, would be the noise from all those bells ringing with his every move. you just know , after a few Sundays of those kinds of services.. Aaron learned to be very still🤣

[@Gfish17]

Breastplate of decision Stats: int +5. Def +4

[@imaginativeskydadytm1389]

Does it have class restrictions? Like only be worn by clerics and paladins?

[@Gfish17]

@@imaginativeskydadytm1389 Sadly yes. But it also in keeping in the Biblical spirit has Unique Biblical restrictions as well. Even some that have nothing to do with Wisdom or Breastplates.

[@imaginativeskydadytm1389]

Damn, at least a have the brown pants of courage

[@imaginativeskydadytm1389]

Damn, at least a have the brown pants of courage

[@robertchabot5625]

The 40 years in the desert wasn't because the Israelites were being punished. It just took them that long to complete their lord and masters silly demands and requirements. Takes 40 years to begin to satisfy an ego like that.

[@russellmiles2861]

Perhaps they were just looking for linen and gold

[@teresah268]

Im wondering why you didnt point out the part about bearing the guilt of the things that God had the people make for Aaron and his sons and bells on the robe all so they won't die. That makes no sense!

[@terminusadquem6981]

So? what weird instructions. who will kill them? 🤔

[@pocketspider7839]

If I'm following it right, it might have something to do with the golden calf? Like when Aaron was like "hey it was them, not me"

[@harrisonanyasi3212]

Where did they get the precious stones in the wilderness