Ewa Sichelska Muehlbauer // Finding Our Way Back to Ourselves

#benzowithdrawal #healing #deprescribing
To learn more about Angie Peacock, MSW or to book a consultation or coaching session, visit: www.angiepeacock.com
I am a citizen of Earth. I was born in Biały Dunajec near Zakopane, Poland in 1973. From 1944-1989 Poland was a non-sovereign and satellite state remaining under the political domination of the USSR.
In 1997 I immigrated to the USA. In 1999 I started to see a therapist and very quickly I was “educated” about chemical imbalance and the drug that can remedy it like insulin does to diabetic. My therapist sent me to the General Practitioner and after 15 minutes I walked out with a prescription for Prozac. Little did I know that in the next 20 years, I’m going to spend in the bubble of illusion, comfortably numb and docile.
In 2008 I graduated from college, Nuclear Medicine Technology, with an associate degree in applied science. The same year I met my husband Eric, we got married a year later and in 2010 I gave birth to my daughter Chloe.
February 2018 I cold turkey from 60 mg of Cymbalta, my withdrawal was very severe and very long. I came back to life in September 2022, I have reclaimed my sovereignty over my body, mind and spirit. Here I am to tell my story.
For Angie’s suggested reading list, visit: www.apeacockconsulting.com/re...
Ewa’s suggested reading list:
The Myth of Mental Illness by Thomas Szasz: amzn.to/3wojZBy
When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate: amzn.to/42LIULs
Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker: amzn.to/42Ej1Nz
Suicide Prohibition by Thomas Szasz: amzn.to/3T234xi
The Zyprexa Papers by Jim Gottstein: amzn.to/3uEcrtS
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk: amzn.to/49CDFzF
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn: amzn.to/3UOBFAt
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate: amzn.to/3I4Afde
A Profession Without Reason: The Crisis of Contemporary Psychiatry―Untangled and Solved by Spinoza, Freethinking, and Radical Enlightenment by Bruce Levine: amzn.to/3uqsI5C
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay Gibson: amzn.to/4bCh6Nn
The Red Book by Carl Gustav Jung: amzn.to/3wtmiTB
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

[@ewa5027]

Hello everyone, this is Ewa the one from above conversation. Just wanted to add that I didn’t even go into my symptoms which were horrific. Also I made my decision to come off the benzo and antidepressant (after my last ECT, and after all information I got from Surviving Antydepresant).Last time I saw my psychiatrist was in June 3 2019, two weeks after I stopped my benzo and antydepresant, his note says “patient adamant about staying off medications”. I have never seen him since nor I looked for any other psychiatrist. I have not seen general practitioner in more then 6 years now. About a year ago, I have ordered my own labs and I red them by myself (they are very easy to read). I tore up with roots that concept of “patient doctor” in every aspect of my being.

[@tash98101]

Ewa I watched your interview with Angie and so much of what you shared resonated so completely with me. I would love to chat with you more. I'm not exactly sure how I might do that. I had so many "Aha" moments while listening to your interview. Thank-you!

[@heatherinCT]

Hi Ewa! Ðo you feel fully healed from the paxil specifically? I'm in the process of trying to come off myself. Thanks for sharing hope all is well!

[@susanmorgan4151]

Thank you Ewa.

[@aprilhassell1747]

Thank you for sharing your story. So brave!

[@ewa5027]

@@heatherinCT yes I am fully healed from all of the psychotropic drugs I was on. Wishing you full recovery 🕊️✨❤️

[@davidbrookes6442]

Thanks Ewa. Your story completely reflects the reality of the WD effects of SSRIs. Well done.

[@dragonfly1126]

Outstanding. Thank you both, much love. You are both contributing to the dialogue we need, thank you.

[@susanmorgan4151]

"Comfortably numb" absolutely true.

[@barnbrac2452]

So much beauty and raw human experience in this interview. Thank you both. I think Wild Geese by Mary Oliver sums all this up so well. “Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things.” very grateful to you both❤

[@carolinecroft7029]

So glad Ewa healed. There is hope ❤ Thank you both x

[@jaclynpeters3892]

Amazing share…thank you both. Much Love. ❤

[@gilliangraham4628]

Please keep going Angie…I think you’re brilliant…we need you more than the coffee shop..😊

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

hahaha thank you!

[@virgieden]

I am tapering off valium & I look anorexic. The enzyme in gut suppressed by v. I can eat very few foods. I look stressed out!!!! No sleep and extreme worry anxuety depression. Joe dispenza & trying to meditate. I keep telling myself to change the story. We are co creators in our life. Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏🙏 ❤

[@lenkaschroeder8415]

I'm the same. It's really tough but I am starting to have windows where my appetite comes back. I gained a little weight between waves.

[@Dvgrvv]

Thanks so much Angie for helping all of us!

[@ewa5027]

Thank you Angie ❤️

[@ashleychristie5023]

Thank you for this 💜 you’re correct when you say that the dpdr strips you of any semblance of a personality/everything that makes us feel human. It makes it so difficult to convince ourselves to stay because it’s like “what’s the point?” Those of us who experience that aspect for so long I think in the end experience an enlightening and supreme appreciation for our identity and personality - which is why we don’t give an EFF about other peoples opinions of us afterward lol. I’m excited to get to that point! Thanks again for sharing your story!

[@user-os3it1cv2o]

brilliant exchange between two beautiful souls

[@user-ie8bu7yp6p]

This is so inspiring. There's so much competition in withdrawal communities but you're working with others.

[@janeymorris1273]

This is great Angie ❤love hearing all the different stories, of how we got to the place of realising we want to discontinue prescribed meds. These interviews inspire hope. I have been on and off meds for 25 yrs. I walked into my bedroom one day and a voice inside said. It’s the medication. I agreed with myself 😂 my journey has just begun 🐝

[@justwayfarer]

Wonderful conversation

[@user-lm7hl8zr8q]

God work Angie 💜

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

these comments every upload keep ME going, THANK YOU!

[@katrinamenzies9398]

I can’t find myself I’ve lost who I am from benzodiazepines

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Watch until the end.

[@katrinamenzies9398]

@@AngiePeacockMSW ok xx

[@sylviadominguez8327]

So did you get tardive dyskinesia or akathisia from stopping all psych meds?

[@susanmorgan4151]

Is it possible ssri ( Paxil) withdrawal would cause uti symptoms without positive uti lab results? My urine is very strong smell, and quite cloudy, night sweats, brain fog,exhaustion. On paxil 40 mg for 20 years. 8 months off.

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

Yes it sure can. Some have been diagnosed with “neurogenic bladder” or “intersistal cystitis.” It goes away while you’re healing.

[@0827tt5xc]

I have this as well

[@ewa5027]

I had that too very badly. I had to pee every 30 minutes. I realized after words that I didn’t go into my symptoms , the list was long and absolutely torturous.

[@0827tt5xc]

@@ewa5027 Yes it comes & goes for me in waves along with the other 100 symptoms I have smh

[@susanmorgan4151]

​@AngiePeacThank you Angie!❤

[@brokenwingedsongbird]

I cannot live with my injury. I know i wont heal. I hate myself for this. I was fucking NORMAL! EXTRAORDINARY and because of what I allowed those bastards to do to me my son will never have his mom back and I have to sit in horror forever knowing exactly why

[@AngiePeacockMSW]

I’d say don’t be so sure “I know I won’t heal.” We all feel that way but it’s not true. Everyone I have ever interviewed and myself included has felt like the damage was too great, the injuries too severe. The body is self - healing. You don’t have to believe me or any of us, in fact you won’t believe me. You don’t need to.

[@brokenwingedsongbird]

@AngiePeacockMSW sorry I'm so cognitively bad and si right now I don't understand what you mean there at the end.

[@heatherinCT]

Don't give up

[@sylviadominguez8327]

Did you suffer from tardive dyskinesia or akathisia from taking all those drugs? I didn't hear you mention if you did or not....i have akathisia

[@ewa5027]

I did not have dyskinesia, I had akathisia where I had to pace but it was only couple days. I do go by definition of this ward which means you have to pace non stop. Some people use this word if they don’t have to pace like “inner akathisia or mental akathisia “. I had extreme inner agitation but I’m trying to use words by definition. Wishing you full recovery ✨🕊️💞

[@sylviadominguez8327]

@ewa5027 thank you 🙏

[@amberwegmuller1686]

What online resources are good to share with people who are thinking about taking benzodiazepines or are taking them currently? The FND groups on fb are full of people and some are defensive when trying to spread awareness.