Ex Boyfriend Crawls Out Of The Woodwork To Stroke His Own EGO 6 Years Later r/Relationships

[@shannonbullock2202]

"It's bc of u I am the man I am today, Thank You." "I'm definitely not taking that blame, but thanks"

[@kmbaldwin5325]

First story: I would have responded with “I think you have the wrong number. LoL” that way he never tries that crap again.

[@franl155]

lol and sign it with a male name.

[@kmbaldwin5325]

@@franl155 lol. I’ve actually done this before and it worked. I was like “bro, I think you have the wrong number.” The guy did respond back with something and I was like “I just got this number, so not sure if you got burned with a fake number or were trying to reach whoever had it before.” 😂

[@addicted2mako]

This is the kind of text that the line “New phone, who dis?” was invented for!

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Story 2 freaks me out. For some people, 1 year of dating isn't enough for a trip, and this is a perfect example of one of those cases. He wasn't mature enough to talk about it, and all the people pressuring OP to let him come, I hope they saw the update. If she isn't ready, she isn't ready, and she dodged rampaging bullet because of it.

[@brianaschmidt910]

XD I still don't know if a family trip is ok with my fiance. (We've been together about 2 years and if he hadn't met my family by now then yeah. Hell no. Met my fam first then maybe. Also, how the hell is he going to get on the plane with no passport?

[@dionysus_adores]

Exactly! It's a vacation bought by op parents that never met him. Bf flipped out over nothing.

[@Midnight0Mistress]

I knew this was going to end badly when the jackass called her a cow

[@melanierobbins1672]

Story #1.... she should respond back saying "Who are you and why are you texting me?" and sign it "George"

[@franl155]

#1 - When he sent the book title, reply "Damn! you've found out my pen name!" #2 - I'd want to know someone for a lot longer than a year before allowing them on a FREE family holiday abroad to which they weren't even invited in the first place. And a family holiday is NOT the place to introduce a new partner: what if they and the family don't get on? they're stuck together for xxx days. His childish sulking and then "revenge" was epically petty and spiteful, destroying items that he knew meant a lot to her.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

I can’t believe how many people thought she should have brought him anyway. It wasn’t her trip to invite people to-some of these commenters have never read Miss Manners.

[@franl155]

@@Rose-yt5hi - as with all introductions, start with short visits, so that each can get accustomed to the other. Throwing everyone in the deep end doesn't sound like a recipe for success.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

@@franl155 Totally agreed, but irrespective of everything else-how long they’ve been together, whether this is the first meeting or not, good manners dictates you don’t bring people to other people’s events they haven’t been invited to. OP wasn’t hosting this event, she wasn’t paying for tickets or anything else; even had she wanted to, it would have been absolutely rude for her to bring her (ex)boyfriend when he had not been invited.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

@@Rose-yt5hi agree. If you don’t want to go on a trip without your partner and the people funding the trip don’t want your partner to come, your only option is to not go.

[@DelinaDoomcat]

Some of the commenters in story 2 had me steaming. Not everyone feels like a year is long enough for a out of country trip to see relatives. Some people want to be with their partner for a few years before they consider marriage. The best time for him to meet the family is when they feel comfortable enough to invite him. He wasn't invited plain and simple. She doesn't have to try and take him just because they are dating. Obviously her family would not have appreciated it. She straight up stated that. Which means at the very least she was not comfortable bringing her boyfriend to an awkward situation in a foreign land. He sounds pretty toxic.

[@JaneDoe1812]

Definitely was. Holy Hell what he did because he couldn't go with is the most messed up thing ever.

[@joshuapierce3085]

On top of that was the fact that OP is from a different country. Passport issues aside, the person who said they should have shared a bed, yeah, I could see that working out well if they are from a Middle Eastern country or a country were men and women sharing a bed outside of marriage is viewed highly unfavorably on. (OP didn't state her home country, so just giving an example.)

[@DelinaDoomcat]

@@JaneDoe1812 yeah I wrote that before the update. I was not surprised he pulled the stunts he did. He definitely is a selfish child. Imagine throwing an actual tantrum as an adult because your partner is visiting family without you.

[@Osteloff]

To make the situation worse; in another comment, she said that her aunt and grandma (only people on her dads side who is on her side in this situation) told her that the reason why her dads family wants her to drop charges is because her cousin has a crush on her boyfriend

[@karendaniel620]

I agree. And his behavior afterward was a giant red flag even before he destroyed things.

[@UndeadEyes]

I don't get how people put up with responses like that when they say 'no' to their SO... If I told a boyfriend who just 'assumed' he was coming on a trip with me that he wasn't and he began insulting me and calling me names, I'm breaking up with him on the spot. That's not just an overreaction--that's a red flag slapping you in the face. That's not communication. That's not talking it out. That's just "I was told no, so F**k you!" Ha. No. No, I don't think I'm going to tolerate that sort of BS.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Bravo bravo smart lady

[@teryenu]

The best reply to a text from an ex will always be: “Who is this?”

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Dude couldn't met his girlfriends family so he rioted, that's crazy

[@ixxieangel]

Story 2: Clearly OP's spider senses were tingling about the bf she didn't feel comfortable with his motifs for coming on the trip and they WERE 100% correct. Just because you date someone for a year does not mean that you feel comfortable introducing them to family that you hold extremely dearly and an expensive trip on someone else's dime is not an appropriate time to spring a bf on your family. I'm sure his lashing out by being told no was not the first time he had an inappropriate reaction to a choice OP made. Reddit judging OP for not being comfortable with him meeting her mom's side of the family, using their money, and saying she's an AH for not prioritizing him is laughable. Even Autistic people who often miss social cues can pick up on bad vibes from people and just not feel right about a situation. The man-child called her horrible names, trashed her apartment, destroyed several expensive electronic devices and collectible collections, stole 5k from the nightstand, tried to clean out her bank account, and ran away and Reddit is still backing that trash... no! It is 100% obvious that he was ONLY angry because he didn't get a free trip overseas on someone else's dime and I guarantee he was with OP for HER money and gifts he could get from her. NO ONE, Reddit included has the right to make someone feel bad or name call because they trusted their gut and followed their instincts about a person they got bad vibes about. OP is NTA and made the right decision!

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Thank you thank you, it seem like the neigh sayers are only looking at the length of the relationship, and she stated he wasn't going, SHE ISNT PAYING FOR IT HER MOTHER IS, THE MOTHER DID NOT INVITE HIM OR STATE IF YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND HE CAN COME TOO WE ARE PAYING GEEZS, LIFE ISN'T ABOUT UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS, IF YOU CANT HANDLE YHE TRUTH DONT ASK FOR IT, AND THE BEST ONE OF ALL YOU GET BACK WHAT YOU PUT OUT

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Some dudes are so weird lmfaoo. I had an ex contact me 3 years later saying that if I was depressed he'd be there for me. Like, ok??? We don't know each other anymore lol

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 1: my ex did something similar 3 months ago. For context: he is extremely selfish and acts like everyone in the world (especially women) exist for him and what he wants, but he looks like a budget Chris Evans so he gets away with a lot of his creepy bs. He's the kind of guy that "Alpha males" try to be. Anyway, we stopped talking 5 years ago because he wasn't being a friend to anyone in our friend group and constantly bailed on everything WHILE THE THING HAD BEEN GOING ON FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR. Like he'd be really enthusiastic about coming and confirmed he was definitely going to be there this time and then after a while, we'd get a message or a call saying that he couldn't be there. Once, he promised to come to something for weeks and told me in the middle of the event that he couldn't come because he was going to be in surgery. Not an emergency surgery, a surgery that had been pre-planned. So I get a message from him 3 months ago after 5 years of not speaking saying how sorry he was for being a shit friend and that he misses me because I was a fun person to talk to. I am HIGHLY skeptical that he magically realized that he's a shit person, especially because he used to ALWAYS do this and say that he was a bad friend or boyfriend and that he'd do better, but he really values the relationship. I called him a coward when we broke up for not even calling me to do it AND THE F*CKER AGREED WITH ME. So I do some fact checking with a friend of mine. He's separating from his wife. He contacted me because he got dumped and needed an ego boost. Which is snother thing he used to do in high school. So I just left him on read. Anything I say will be unsatisfying because he'll just agree with it. Blocking him would be some sort of definitive answer. So I just left the message where it is with it marked that I had seen it.

[@RokoFireFox]

Story 2. I did not like the comments. Op brought up several valid points. And most the comments where like "lol no just take him"

[@rubymeaddle]

Ngl the only point she needs to make is "my mom didn't invite him" since she's the one paying

[@chinozerus667]

That ex boyfriend text story was the biggest 'who cares' story I've ever read/heard. Some people have to much time to themselves lmao

[@alexshaw8167]

It was a relationship that only lasted 4 months, years ago, but OP seems like they’re still hung up on him since they’re going to Reddit for “advice” on this nothingness. It’s honestly frustrating that anybody responded to them, literally could not care any less

[@kumikor3392]

I would've already had him blocked 😂😂😂 break ups mean you're dead to me. Why even think about this stranger's email about inappropriate crap?

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 2 NTA Opies dodged a major bullet with that man child and possibly a very abusive relationship.

[@Anamais666]

He destroyed all of your things and stole $5,000 all because he didn't get to meet your mom that's a huge step to the wrong direction and a huge red flag

[@kmaguire7161]

As weird as the text the first OP received was I think it is even weirder that she dated him for 4 months and at one point thought he was her soul mate.

[@sgm8265]

Lol. And had to ask if she should reply to the ridiculous text.

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 2: nta wtf he insults you and claims you're cheating. projection much. holy hell keep those charges op. wtf is your dads side of the family thinking. that guy stole 5k$

[@damien678]

probs broke another 5k too. and then the writing being work that's likely priceless to OP and now my true crime brain is going 'keep one eye open and a knife under the pillow'

[@LilySaintSin]

How's 2nd OP's boyfriend going to go anywhere without a passport?! 😂😂😂

[@VNCstudios]

Yeah, all the yta posts ignored that completely.

[@widgeonslayer]

The damage the bf caused is felony level.

[@MandyLina123]

I ignore my exes because we didn’t end on good terms (cheating, and only one ex) so…if he texts me, I would ignore him. They should ignore him too imo. 🤷‍♀️ Second story: bf for a year and never met the parents? Yikes. Big red flag to want to go on this trip. 😡

[@franl155]

some people need extra validation, and if they can't get it from the present, they have to dig into the past.

[@ecos889]

Orphans exist: we are walking read flags because their are no parents to meet.

[@FallenRosestorm]

That man had to read a BOOK to realized how to please woman 😳

[@adrianaaab436]

Wow I cannot believe the comments in the second story. He doesn’t have a passport so how could he even go? He’d be immediately turned away at the airport. Passport issue aside even if I was dating someone I never assume I’m included in any vacation unless I’m specifically invited. Name calling is never ok and if the OPs BF was upset there was a way he could have expressed it. I think if OP wants to introduce a new partner her and her partner should plan and pay for their own trip.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

Bravo you hit the nail on the head

[@cliffdweller990]

Story 1: seems like the bro is trying to sell his book...

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Story 2: NTA 10000000% OP, go scorched earth on your ex and make him pay. As for your father's side of the family, go no contact until they get their heads out of their asses.

[@SpookyMomma918]

Story 1......gosh, I was hoping she responded with "Well, I hope you got better at it. "

[@Maya-iz9fx]

Story 1 I have creepy ex like that I blocked him everywhere bt he still send creepy msgs for his ego (new numbers) And i just tear him a new one before blocking him

[@samalvarez8776]

That might be feeding into his ego anyway so be careful. Narcissists love attention good or bad doesn't matter. They love the fact they can get a rise out of you

[@Maya-iz9fx]

@@samalvarez8776 i know That's why i hit his deepest insecurities I would never do that any other person Bt i do that him coz i know this will mess with his head and he will stop bothering me He is very insecure about many things and likes to Project those on others He also cannot take any criticism about anything Goes absolutely Crazy I may never respond again to him as i only do that to make myself feel better for all time he hurt me

[@lillithherondale1972]

But OP is right..? He's not family, they've only been dating for a year. He also doesn't even have a passport. The parents didn't want him to come for a free trip. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@lillithherondale1972]

Whoa that man went fucking psycho in the update

[@walkz007]

Exactly like wtf even in these comments some people are truly entitled

[@ladyv5655]

1st story: WTF? If I got a message from my ex like that I would never reply to that. He's testing the waters to see if he can pick up some FWB activity. In fact, I did have one ex contact me again for that purpose, but not with a message like that! Ugh!

[@LisaApril]

# one: Delete and block. # two: he’s too angry and combustible and has no passport. Oh, I see he is destructive and a thief as well. I hope the law gets him.

[@videofan1010]

What the hell? I would be angry that he sent me a message like that. Let that go, lol!

[@FoxValley123]

Wow, the ex in the 2nd story really went off the deep end for the worst. He destroyed and stole from her all because she respected her family's wishes? Also wtf is up with the ops dads side? Are they in on it? Did they help him plan it? Duck em!

[@rogerramjet6429]

3:03 yes some of us keep numbers forever. I'm 53 and still have every number from every house I've lived in since 1980 plus the numbers of ex friends and even some dead ones. I'm high functioning autistic, with an emotional connection to number sequences. That's it. No malicious intent. I just hoard information.

[@LexTime89]

I used to be a manager at a restaurant and I still have the phone numbers of a majority of my old coworkers. Some of them are friends, but most I only had the numbers for exclusively work purposes. It’s just not worth the time it would take to go through and delete them. I have better things to worry about😂

[@cornbread12987]

1st story: I would respond, "You're welcome!👍" And never another word

[@oldgreggsmadmemes4431]

man she must taste AMAZING down there if he has to fucking call 6 years later LMAO

[@moonspider55]

Yhe car doing donuts in The background makes my motion sickness kick up a bit.

[@AnymousScreams]

I've heard people in my life who were virgins to sex that made their partners pretty happy without a book. Said partners were my friends who mentioned it. You don't need a book to satisfy people, just understanding to their needs and wants. Intuition is a great learning experience.

[@jemase7931]

Charlie is a bf, not a fiance or a husband. The hosts did not invite him. He's trying to invite himself.

[@itazuranakisu]

I would've ignored that text or pretend it's the wrong number. It's way too weird (and disrespectful) of a text especially since he has a partner. He was fishing to see if OP was still hung up on him. If she took the bait with the text either he would try to get a side chick with OP or try to "let her down gently" because of the girlfriend. Regardless nothing good could come out of responding to such text or pondering on it more than a few moments.

[@lasmirandadennsiewillja9435]

That's a lot of overthinking over a stupid text that at most deserves a "lol, good for you, bye." and no energy or brain space beyond that. I mean, come on, what really happened here? Two people fell in lust, had a lot of sex, apparently, it was good, but then they realized there wasn't enough between them to really fall in love after the honeymoon phase came to an end (even the time frame matches, 3-6 months, up to a year, is usually when the novelty wears off). And years later the dude sends a stupid text that basically says, "the sex we had was good, was just thinking about that." I kinda get that it might confuse the receiver but people in the comments really try to be deep and philosophical about it. Yeah, it's inappropriate, maybe a little rude to get into explicit detail, and pretty pointless when you didn't even stay friends for a while after the breakup. But it's really not that deep. Laugh, clap back or ignore, move on, maybe block. I don't think that "he's still an idiot and apparently, I'm so great in bed that he still reminisces about it years later, not my problem" is the worst conclusion to live with. But leave it to reddit to turn it into "eeeew a person you once fucked a lot remembers a time when you were naked, trauma, trauma, assault!"

[@vanzy01]

👍

[@aikikaname6508]

Yeah the fact he’s doing it with a girlfriend is icky, but this was given far too much brain space. Guy was thirsty and tried his luck in a very cringey way. Nothing more than silence or ‘sorry wrong number’ needed.

[@baileymae4547]

Good morning/evening Markee! Hope you have a wonderful day/night. Can’t wait to watch this after work! Absolutely love your videos

[@thehoogard]

I'm surprised no one suggested she don't drop charges.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

Story 1. That man seems like a manipulator. Not a kind one either.

[@belalugosisdead4444]

Story one, I would've simply replied with "ew"

[@trishd8782]

My come back for the txt one would be "ummm look i dont know who you are but this is really an inappropriate txt. My fiance didnt like it much that some random person would send this"

[@axepagode33626]

He doesn't have a passport He was never invited Unless you led this guy on about going on the trip, how could you possibly he the AH. Wait ... You didn't lead him on, did you?

[@elizahamilton5599]

Even if she did he can f@ck off. Guys a psycho and can get stuffed

[@b.c.9358]

Ahahaha in story 1 I'd be like, "wrong number"

[@DisneyChar]

S2. Anyone who says your overreacting should be happy to repay you the money, NBG right?

[@ethankillion786]

A penguin was taking a summer road trip... A penguin was taking a summer road trip in the American Southwest when his car broke down and he got a tow to the nearest shop. The mechanic told him it would take an hour to check his car, so the penguin waddled across the street to an ice cream shop and ordered a vanilla cone, which he made a huge mess of, because flippers. After an hour had passed he waddled back to the auto shop. Mechanic said "Welp, looks like you blew a seal", the penguin said "No that's just ice cream".

[@surrealistgirlx]

You win the Internet!

[@JasperCatProductions]

He called you a cow cause he can’t come on your family vacation ? And you must be cheating? Well at least you see exactly who he is. Who gets a free vacation to meet the family? Why would he assume he gets to go? He isn’t family, lol.

[@charliekezza]

Family vacation is not the place to meet the new beau. Meet them first. Expecting that you get a paid vacation is TA

[@walkz007]

FR and what's with these people on Reddit there is some insane entitlement going on

[@damien678]

Yeah, (ex)BF in story 2 could potentially really hurt and even kill OP. I'm genuinely worried for her

[@rubymeaddle]

Story 2: the mom was paying, it's her call in the end. I totally understand not bringing someone you've only been dating a year out of the country with family.

[@lifewithlee6298]

Frist story , did he write that sex book 📕?! Sounds like he wanted a sale

[@thedeck-buildingdemon8293]

Bruhhhhhhhh that first story is so goofy I hope the dood lost a bet or something and his friends wrote that for him because I hope nobody’s that cringe

[@tracybarber-kier1669]

Too bad that OP didn't change the locks before she left for the trip... but excellent that she pressed charges!

[@jaymel4691]

To all the ESH and TA commenters- yeah, this is why a year of dating is NOT long enough to be considered 'family'. Idiots. Sometimes 5 years is not long enough. And this is why him demanding to go on the trip was inappropriate and completely out of line.

[@RJLiams]

Why do people go to AITA if they're going to agrue against anyone who gives them the asshole verdict? Just go to relationship advice if you've already made up your mind.

[@Sammy52550]

How does she know that $5000 has been stolen when she’s not In The country ?

[@nightdweller6446]

s1..whaaaat? weird af. he's either drunk, high or nutso. If I was feeling pissy though, I'd text back " Who is this?, mate, this is really inappropriate". s2.eeeh...thats wobbly. Been together for a year but insert" reasons". Uodate: annnnd turns out BF is a psycho bunny Boiler. don't drop the charges OP ends up very much NTA.

[@nikkilengyel]

In the 2nd story, I was leaning towards everyone sucks here, but the boyfriend's reaction really proved that OP was correct in her assessment of the situation, and bf definitely was looking for a free trip.

[@rubymeaddle]

How is it ESH? He couldn't even go if invited, he doesn't have a passport.

[@LittleImpaler]

Story 1 if i gotten a text like that. I would be laughing my head off. OP should be happy that her life isn't boring. And sent a message, that said, "thank you for telling how much I dodge a bullet. He eithee did that: the book he was reading was that enlightening. 2: he needed an ego boost.

[@DemonAngel]

My ex husband did this to me. After he hit me he destroyed my laptop. Like he stabbed it 7 times. And left me stranded in a place hours from home and family in either direction. Upside I had my knight in shining armor drive in a snow storm to come get me. So yeah. Sometimes bad things happen so something good can happen. I wouldn't be surprised if there is more ominous things start to come to light with that crazy ex.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

Story 2, I think op doesn’t see the relationship the same way boyfriend does, that’s the crux of the matter. She isn’t ready to be married in a committed relationship where you do most things as a couple, and she’s allowed to feel that way. He’s allowed to be upset by that and not want to be in a relationship with those boundaries, but his response and subsequent theft and vandalism of thousands of dollars of op’s property reveals he’s not ready to be in any relationship whatsoever.

[@lkayh]

Last story: I can’t be the only one who saw it coming-entitled boyfriend is delusional and way OTT ticked off that he doesn’t get to come along on a trip with OP. So he knows she will be gone. Cue him coming into the house and tearing it apart, stealing stuff, etc. I hope we get another update where he’s behind bars. And what’s up with her dad-the dude stole $5k, and more from her bank account, wrecked her stuff, and dad wants her to drop charges? Huh?

[@jemase7931]

The message from the ex. Block.

[@AuroraPaintBrush4444]

The Story with the Boyfriend without a passport: First of all the passport is primarily his problem, he's 23, at that age most people know that they need one to travel out of country. So I'm call him an honest idiot. It would be impossible to board him on plane. And what, it takes like 2 weeks to 2 months to get a passport, the picture, and paperwork If he wants an opportunity to meet the 'family', then there are better ways. Him hosting a party at home, inviting them out to dinner, ask to come over for a holiday like (American Thanksgiving) a classic holiday to show off new boyfriends. I'm going to be honest, I missed the country/religion of the story, but I'm sure most countries/religions have a socially acceptable holiday/tradition to introduce your significant other. Plus, lots of parents don't want to room a guy and chick in the same room that they are PAYING for, if they haven't dated Long or married Plus the poor friend, I don't want to make out with a boyfriend when my friend is stuck in the same room

[@heleneclark563]

1st Story: Yeah that text wasn’t that innocent. He knew exactly what he was doing.

[@HonorWillow]

Story 1: Couldn't the text just be him feeling grateful? I know I could be for other reasons listed but like no one suggested that could even be a possible answer? Story 2: "I told him he's not invited for many legitimate reasons, he still decided he was and then got angry and commited crimes against me when it turns out he wasn't coming... yeah we have communication problems because I'm Autistic" OP... no... you didn't have communication problems he did! It's frustrating how common communications problems are with pretty much everyone but I find that neurotypical people are not as likely to admit and work on theirs

[@heleneclark563]

2nd Story: I want to hear an update if the police have caught up with the boyfriend.

[@brandytzu2747]

Story 2 reeks of To Be Continued.

[@mweathers79]

S1: I can kind of understand his hurt, the siblings fiancé (we’ve all seen lots of fiancés breakup so I think of them as long term BF/GF) as well as her BFF are allowed to go. I understand the BFF is already there but still not “family”. Seems like she’s got lots of excuses but not really any good reasons. Seems like he is being intentionally left out, which is fine, but still pretty shitty. If I were him, I’d just go on my own vacation with some friends, specifically some hot female ones.

[@earlinejackson8151]

Weird text from the ex, just block him on everything. Nothing says you’re over it better.

[@jennilynne1977]

I hope you and everyone else is having a great day/afternoon/night! Do you plan on ever showing us your face, or the cartoon drawing of you? I miss seeing them! Peace, hugs and love to you all!

[@totallyjaded1658]

There are videos where he shows himself if you go back and look x

[@jennilynne1977]

@@totallyjaded1658 I know. I miss those where he does the intro and outro and then shows his cartoon self when he's commenting on the story.

[@GeekInSequins]

Story 1: Yeah, dude was testing the waters for ex sex. In one of the most awkward, repelling ways possible.

[@OfficialCourtesyCourtie]

First thank you for the stories... I hope there is a second update to the last one. Anf two what is the outro music from? I need that beat for my work out mix.

[@rmhartman]

Overreacting? Did you not hear about the $5000?? (Btw: who keeps $5000 in their nightstand?)

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

Story 1; reply to tell him that this a Wendy's.

[@LA-mz1dd]

Dating for a year does not equal family or a free vacation. WTF. I can understand the bf being disappointed but his actions show exactly why he was expecting a free vacation. Dad's side of the family are also assholes for saying SHE was overreacting.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

I don't know what country OP is going back to in Story 2, but if she's on a student visa, she may not have wanted to get involved with the police. She's going to have to prove the $5K is hers and not his--because most likely that's what he'll say. That the cash was his savings.That she had his money in her account. They live together it sounds like so, this will not be evident. Also, she'll have to prove she has access to that money legally. Otherwise, in the US, they can seize it as a civil asset forfeiture. And any run in with the cops could get your visa pulled--especially if they claim you may have committed a crime and forfeit ownership of your property (what a civil asset forfeiture actually is)

[@lillamacsai7699]

Wow, your country's police and their victim-blaming ways sucks. I am although interested, how the police would explain the destroyed personal things and electronics? OP did that herself before leaving to a merry family vacation? Interesting.....

[@petitmains]

Oh my God I cannot believe this ex-grad student decided to revert to grad school methods of trying to ask a girl out IE let me just not at all suspiciously randomly send her a message or the late night "I couldn't help it...I had to tell you my feeling after my #th _insert brand name of brown liquor here_"

[@NeloBladeOfRanni]

Story 2 is honestly a ESH kinda situation tbh Yes the boyfriend is dead ass in the wrong for how he reacted but considering the OP never said what culture or country they are from or why the mother and step father dont like the guy i feel like theres not enough info to say she isnt the AH

[@dragonetafireball]

Who the f keeps $5000 in a nightstand? If she’d said he took it from a safe or something I get it but that’s a lotta cash to put somewhere so insecure.

[@pansprayers]

I have, for one while I was waiting for the safe to get there. OP's wherever she is on a student visa. I'm not paying those transfer fees to continuously hit an ATM, either.

[@dragonetafireball]

@@pansprayers yea but nightstands are the first place intruders look if it was that much I’d at minimum go for a floorboard or lockbox

[@GlucoseGuy]

For story 2 - not defending BF's character revealing overreactions. Though I think it's interesting that OP specifically called out that the Stepdad did not want him there. This was mentioned before the trip and update. I'd be curious as to why the stepdad did not want a boyfriend of a year to meet the family. Sounds to me like something else is going on. If OP really wanted him there she'd have been trying to come with reasons/ways for him to go (Paying for his or both of their parts of the trip, getting him to get his passport, etc.), instead of the other way around. At the end of the day, OP only got a small flesh would from that bullet of a BF. So I think things ended for the best.

[@jeanetteporter8114]

What? HE DID NOT HAVE A PASSPORT, And maybe just maybe she didn't want the people she respect the most to meet this douchbag, there may have been other red flags in the relationship she didn't tell us, introducing him to her dad could have been her way of saying I do have family in this country and I have support, But no one has the right to meet your or his parents because you are dating geezs

[@NeloBladeOfRanni]

This This is why for me it's a ESH situation because the op never says why the step dad didn't want the boyfriend there

[@LaviniaKing-hz9ue]

--- This text is so creepy, I'm cringing reading this. This is so nasty and perverted. Delete this post and don't reply. --- What is wrong with man? He doesn't have a passport. I would never stay in the same room as my bf, if my parents have never met him. This man is dangerously crazy, don't drop the charges. Dad's family is also crazy, ignore their advise. Hopefully ex- boyfriend will spend the next 5 to 10 in a jail cell.

[@carolsimpson4422]

I think it's a kind of sexual harassment to make such sexual comments to someone you haven't contacted in years. I think he got kinky thrill from thought of her reading that- what a creep.

[@damienhailey118]

Story #1: Send him a copy of The Rock's song from Moana.

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Esh. OP sucks and charlie sucks. OP clearly never expected the relationship to go anywhere. Charlie went crazy nuclear.

[@hmmmbrilee]

Bruh, who cares about what that dude said. Y'all dated for four months, YEARS ago. Don'y dignify that nomsense with a response.

[@harleykelevra515]

Story 1: dudes creepy af.

[@anno_mundi]

A lot of wtf on the first story 🤣

[@hibiscusrose6074]

What the HELL?????

[@SherriLyle80s]

😂 So bizarre

[@guywhowatchesvideos-z2e]

Story 2: there are possible compromises to be made. Opie's boyfriend could either buy his own ticket and visit on his own or have his own vacation over there for a week and see the family for maybe the weekend before returning home. He could get a hotel and check out the country and the region and whatnot before returning home and then the weekend before he gets on his plane to return back he stops by says hello to the family and makes a good greeting

[@pansprayers]

There's absolutely no compromise to be made here, lol. Everything you just suggested requires a major component that he doesn't have, won't have time to get, the point is MOOT. You just suggested he waste a ton of money to get turned away at the airport. No passport, no trip - that takes more than two weeks to get in the US, unless you cough up a ton of money and PRAY. He's proven to be crazy anyway.

[@atinyevil1383]

@@pansprayers that's not even to mention the fact that her mother and step father specifically didn't want him there to begin with.

[@blackwolf1216]

story 2 pissed me off so much, clearly the ex bf was an AH but OP was a massive AH so it should be an ESH and all the commentors saying NTA are whack, but OP should definitely not drop the charges for the damaged property and theft...clearly OP was an AH but she is better off without that crazy ex

[@walkz007]

How is she in any way the AH🙄

[@blackwolf1216]

@@walkz007 because if after a year of dating you still aren't ready for your partner to meet your Mum, stepdad, stepbrother/stepbrother fiance and best friend from your home country then you are either ashamed of your partner or don't see a future with them and either way should have then ended the relationship prior to this point. I'm not saying the ex is not an AH (he's definitely the bigger AH for obvious reasons) just annoys me that everyone is giving OP a pass for her AH attitude because her ex was a huge AH

[@walkz007]

@@blackwolf1216 I disagree,freinds fine siblings makes sense but family is a huge step it's a sign of commitment to the next level .In fact in many cultures meeting the parents is during the getting to the engagement period .But still even if he had meet the parents what makes him assume they would pay for him to go on a trip with them, that's family stuff if he was the long term BF,fiancee or husband sure but why would a boyfriend be invited for a family trip and this goes both ways.Man or woman there are certain levels you have to reach before you can impose yourself on someone else's family.

[@blackwolf1216]

@@walkz007 I agree the parents should not be paying for someone they havent met, but he should have been invited if he was able to pay for himself, meeting family is a huge sign of commitment, but if you are not ready to introduce your significant other to your family after a full year of being together then you either don't really care about them (which means your wasting your own time and their time), your embarrassed/ ashamed of your partner or your family, you know there will be issues between your family and partner or you simply don't have a family/ are not in contact with your family. If you wait till the engagement period to introduce your partner to family that could be several years even a decade depending on the relationship, which is simply not possible for a lot of people to keep such major parts of their life apart for so long, plus if you did can you imagine how much worse it will be for you if there are any issues between family and your partner

[@ryderlisa1]

some comments u keep to yourself

[@pbpb-he6gx]

second story sounds fake.

[@pansprayers]

I'm sorry you think your lack of experience reflects the way the rest of the world works.

[@FinnishLapphund]

2nd story: (ETA Posted my reply before hearing the update. BF is an AH for how he handled the breakup, but that is then, I still think ESH for the pre update post.) ESH. Boyfriend sucks for thinking he can travel without passport. OP+mother+step-father sucks because they don't acknowledge that what they're doing is clearly saying we want to meet OP, but we're not interested in meeting her BF from an around year long committed relationship. Besides a) maybe OP+BF could've paid for his tickets since OP didn't need to pay for her own, and b) if they are out of rooms, let him sleep on a sofa, camping mattress on a floor, or whatever, surely they could queeze him in somewhere if they actually wanted to meet him.

[@mindyschocolate]

But none of that matters. He has no passport. Literally nothing else matters.

[@pansprayers]

Do you want them to pay out the exorbitant amount of money for an expedited passport while you're at it? Standard issue on those things is 165$USD and six to eight weeks for your first application. Add a minimum of 150$, not including the cost of an agent to hand walk it to the relevant offices. That's going to run an additional 400 - 1100$ depending on the service. So, yeah, no there's no compromise here.

[@FinnishLapphund]

@@pansprayers OP mentions knowing about the trip 4 weeks ago. In my country, getting a passport (first or renewed) usually takes 2-3 weeks = BF could've had plenty of time getting one, if he only had not been gaga enough to think he could travel without a passport.

[@champslim]

Ummmm wow

[@hothotheat3000]

The fact that OP is making an entire Reddit post about a text she got shows that this guy still has the ability to affect her. Most people with sense would’ve left it on read and moved on with their day.

[@damien678]

She just really didn't know how to respond, I'd feel that lost too. It's ok to seek advice and counsel, even about such small matters.