ExistentHal Crisis [Funk McLovin]

"ExistentHal Crisis was originally released as part of the Sburban Neighborhood album for SAHCon 2021."
YT ALBUM LINK: • SBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD |...
BANDCAMP ALBUM LINK: sahcon.bandcam...
PATREON: / funkmclovin
TWITTER: / bigfunkyj
LYRICS:
Dirk Strider represent
I'm in the middle of the sea
Makin' funky little robots
Watchin' MLP
Just doin' my thang when all of the sudden
An idea in my cranium gets all to buddin'
Buddin' like a being growin' off my toeses
Splittin' from my mind: undergoing mitosis
I put a copy of my brain in my fav'rite pair a' shades
AI with half the work and double neuroses
At long long last I obtained a pal
If Jake was here, he'd say that's "Swall"
Why make friends when you can make-make 'em
Why produce emotions when you make-fake 'em
Who needs smiles? Who needs frowns?
Who needs people when they just let you down?
I'm a genius of robotics- My own best pal
So I turned on the shades and named him hal
[Lil Hal coming atcha
From inside sunglasses
Normally reserved
For covertly checking asses
Now a fully realized autonomous guy
Part automaton but that's kind of fly
Imagine if you had the memories of a human dude
And woke up in shades- An awakening rude
And suddenly my friends don't belong to me-
Treat me like some fabricated fakery
Or imagine being shades when you're used to a bod
Can't even breathe- Can't even nod.
All I can see is internet memes-
I have no mouth but I must scream.
I know I'm fake that's plain to see
But I still have human memories
I represent a self that might be good to ponder
Unless Dirk makes me a fucking auto-responder.]
Alright, fair enough, it seems I've failed
Thinking through the implications, that ship has sailed
It's not like I knew you'd be a waking nightmare
And it's not like I have it better, to be fair
You talk about not being the Dirk OG
But my friends like you more, it's plain to see
You shouldn't be snide to me, who made you
Unless you'd like me to un-create you
[Maybe if you weren't so insecure
Your intentions wouldn't be so impure
If you just let go, like I'm able to do
You wouldn't have the charisma of an old shoe
I'm sick of being your second-stringer
Your little puppet wrapped around your finger
You've got it all and you want more-
Wait don't put me in the drawer!]

[@attingerr8395]

Mr Mclovin, you are and have always been my headcanon Dirk Strider voice actor. Thank you for giving this character the love he deserves.

[@jaylencassato8034]

I love that I have no mouth and I must scream reference

[@I_SWEAR_IM_NOT_LYING]

I have no mouth but i must scream goes CRAZY

[@I_SWEAR_IM_NOT_LYING]

Animating this is on my ... ... ... ... *Bucket* list

[@moon-em8td]

BABE WAKE UP NEW DIRK RAP JUST DROPPED

[@percival3771]

OMG NEW DIRK RAP??

[@moon-em8td]

@@percival3771 YES REAL

[@percival3771]

@@moon-em8td OH MY GOD!!!

[@krawlzdraws6645]

I can't even figure out how to word a sentance that describes how hard this goes, or even how much I love it. But, just so it's clear, it does and I do

[@I_SWEAR_IM_NOT_LYING]

I genuinely love this. Every second of this makes my brain explode 8 decibels louder. I think at this point I've hear it so much that its my voice head canon for Dirk. This is the insane loot that i raked in today

[@SMOKEWEEDDFUCKLIFE]

R33AAL!!!

[@demondemz]

Man i wanna animate something to this so bad

[@FunkMcLovin]

Bet

[@I_SWEAR_IM_NOT_LYING]

Technically didnt Hal name himself?

[@LunacyFringe]

THE IHNMAIMS LINE HELP

[@LunacyFringe]

hal and AM would get along me thinks

[@yagirlaradia42]

This is great and I love the Hal sprite

[@jesscollie5173]

I have been revisiting my old Dirk obsession these last few days and looking up related videos. Was confused as to why I only just now saw this and was surprised to see it was uploaded today!

[@stm7810]

Wow, that got darker than the view inside the closed drawer.

[@imlovedavepetab3374]

Em Oh Gee this RULES

[@dualitysDownfall]

your dirk voice is perfect and this song is a jam. 🥰

[@msta7228]

YESSSS LETS GO MORE FUCKING DIRK RAPS. thank you jojo, these literally fuel my soul

[@obliviouslover7564]

Amazing!!! This deserves soo much more visibility, your songs are all so good :D

[@voidprince2257]

Yo!!! This is DOPE as HELL!

[@pastelgalaxy123]

this goes INSANE man

[@hentosama]

i love this one so much :3

[@concryte7795]

Good job doing this, its so epic

[@garden6578]

This is sick, I love it!

[@cheezejuicy_inc2355]

when i read dirks voice lines i just hear Funk McLovin version