Exotical in an Arab Community

Growing up in an Arab community as an Exotical MGM girl.

[@jasmineali5699]

Hi again 😊 again it’s nice to hear of a story that I can relate to deeply. I too also went to an Islamic school that was mostly Arabs. I will say as a Somali we were considered exotic and naturally beautiful and I do remember a lot of Arab girls feeling threatened by us. We were a bit rough around the edges and very outspoken and boisterous compared to them whereas they were raised to be quiet and submissive. Arab guys were fascinated by us because we would always fight back and put them in their place lol . But it didn’t really matter because we were raised to date our own vice versa.. We did have issues with racism since we were the newer immigrant group in the city however, with my generation, it died down quite fast because we would always see each other in prayer rooms and at mosques. Kinda hard to be racist to each other if we keep hanging out in the same spaces 😅 You also brought up an excellent point .The sisterhood was definitely strong mostly because we were taught to only look at men for marriage and that’s it. I went to a private Islamic school and they separated us by sex in grade 6. Of course we had our crushes, but boys were not the centre of our lives. Also because we grew up Muslim, we were taught gossiping and backbiting is a sin so there was always a girl in the group that would remind us of this. As girls, we were very close and supportive of each other, and it was great. You mentioning this made me realize how different this experience was compared to the friendships I made once I left my circle of Muslim friends. Met a lot of girls who only wanted to be friends with me to attract male attention. The decentering men conversations is fascinating to watch because I naturally moved like that because I’m not interested in marriage therefore chasing men made no sense. Now, of course I love dating and being around men (not interested in marriage right now ) but they serve their purpose for me and that’s it. Anyways, love your channel keep posting and thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts!y

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

@@jasmineali5699 thank you so much! Yes, we have a very similar upbringing. When I was younger I felt like I my circumstances were so weird and no one would be able to relate. But I’m learning over and over again, there’s always someone who has a similar experience. And yes, decentering men was just how I’ve always moved and I’m happy other women are leaning towards it as well now🫶🏼✨💕

[@user-ij5sp4zv5h]

I had 2 east african friends 1 somali 1 eritrean and they went to a different school to me, a public school full of white and black students mainly and they still had alot of jealousy from these girls too, east african girls just look very unique, beautiful and feminine like their facial features are very soft, they dont have much body hair whilst having long hair in their head, blessed lol so I can deffo attest to to this

[@e.001_]

Omg I'm Somali too! I also went to an Islamic school, and I never felt any weird male-centered jealousy from other girls. It was like normal problems and issues we had with each other, and nobody cared so much about what this guy thought about them or who is dating who as much as other people in non-separated schools. It was a crazy culture shock when I entered college and I had always felt confused when girls would fight over a guy who literally just talked to them once, and they want to ruin their friendship over him. Some women will try to destroy you or ruin your reputation just because you breath the same air as the guy they like or if he compliments you or even looks at you you're gonna have a bunch of people wishing on your downfall and other women giving you the evil eye. Girl it's wild over here I wanna go back to how it was back then 😭

[@jasmineali5699]

@@e.001_yes it was definitely a culture shock. Of course we have women in our community that are men obsessed but usually over a marriage material man. Fighting over a man that can’t do shit for you but sex was WILD to me. I recently went back to befriending women from our culture ( but not religious and more open minded) and it’s been great so far. We date and support each other and I appreciate them so much ❤

[@researchbae4547]

omg im so glad you talked about this, I'm Egyptian with Turkish ancestry so I'm Middle Eastern/North African and I grew up my whole life in Saudi Arabia. I've never left the Gulf area unless to go to Egypt. As an arab, I felt so unrepresented, I used to think no one knew about us and I always hated being arab. i am white-skinned which is a privilege in of itself but I do look mixed and due to the inner hatred I had of my nationality alongside the bullying I endured, I tried to separate myself from it and was really whitewashed in the process, I still have a lot of internalized racism but it is getting better and I am working on loving my cultures :) thank you for bringing this up

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

@@researchbae4547 Hi! Did you grow up in Aramco? I had a Libyan friend who grew up there and the way she described it was very interesting. It def can be isolating to have a background/story that you think no one can relate to. Felt like that most of my adolescence. I’m glad watching this vid lets you know you’re not alone 🫶🏼✨💕

[@researchbae4547]

@@LoverGirlsAnonymous no unfortunately but i wish, my parents might try to apply for a job there and I know some people from there since I went to an upper middle-class/rich school :)

[@TigerLily91979]

Your story was fascinating to listen to. I love how immigrant groups can transform areas into a slice of home. It’s also refreshing to hear exotical upbringing stories that aren’t filled jealousy and bullying from UABW. I never fully related to that narrative because I didn’t grow up in a black community. My hometown had some diversity, but was def mostly white. That came with its own problems, but believe it or not, I’d take it over living in the BC. I’m Jamaican-American, so I wish I had more Caribbean community, but it is what it is. Listening to all these channels makes me so thankful that I wasn’t surrounded by UAB men and women during my formative years. Esp because I live on the East Coast, and I hear some of the most awful exotical bullying stories from my region. I can’t imagine how that would’ve impacted me. I dodged a huge bullet. Of course the shady/identity policing behavior I did receive came from UABP. I also love the sisterhood you got to experience. That’s rare, and beautiful.

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

Thats so interesting you say you rather deal with the issues that come with living in a mostly white community than the issues that come from dealing with the BC. My parents actually told us that's a huge reason why they sent us to school in that community. My mom grew up in the BC and it had v negative effects on her. And yes, the feeling of having real sisterhood was very special and I feel privileged to have experienced that growing up.

[@TigerLily91979]

@@LoverGirlsAnonymousyeah it feels weird to admit, but in hindsight, very true. My mother (a pale exotical) also grew up in the BC, and she experienced intense bullying from UABW as a kid. I don’t think that influenced my parent’s decision to live where we did, but I do know they wanted to maximize our opportunities and sense of self-determination. That’s often stunted in the BC for far more internal reasons than people want to admit. I dealt with racism from white people, but if I grew up in the BC, I would’ve been their emotional punching bag. Both figuratively and literally. At least I was physically safe where I grew up instead of having to fight off jealous girls looking to harm me, and not nearly as indoctrinated into a victim mentality, or the harmful expressions of it I’ve seen in the BC. I wish I could erase the ugly things I’ve dealt with, but I’d take it over what far too many exoticals had to endure as kids.

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

@@TigerLily91979 the negative effects of these internal issues that hold people back in the BC are so over-looked and underestimated. Super important point! Thank you for pointing that out🫶🏼

[@divinebeaute]

Please I clicked so fast 😭 Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it truly feels like my sign to just go for it and embrace this part of my heritage fully. This was so validating to me because I didn’t really have any other Arab-African people in my life growing up except for my paternal side of the family. I only made Arab and Arab-African friends in my teens. Everything you shared resonated so much. I think these cultural factors are the reason why my first predominantly Arab friend group was the one where I felt the most understood. The part in the end where you talked about the only person bullying you being an UABW was so relatable omg it brought back war flashbacks from a similar situation cuz that friend group had a couple UABW in it ☠️ I think a lot of UABW are bothered by multicultural exoticals who don’t have an inferiority complex and don’t pay attention to the limiting beliefs UABP keep telling each other. She was really just jealous and bothered that you were minding your business and living your best life at that school 😭🫶🏽💕

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

Ok first off, I am over the moon happy that this vid made you feel validated and seen. It’s a very unique experience and so you responding to this vid makes me feel so seen and validated also. So yay for us! Now, to get to what you said at the last part…girl, you just said a whole WORD!!! Spot on, the UAB girl was so infuriated that I was accepted and loved by this whole other type of people. She was always trying to recruit other girls to join in on hating on me but no one cared or took the bait😂 It’s like she wanted me to have a complex and she wanted me to feel left out and not good enough…bc that’s probably how she felt. So raggedy of her💅🏼 Anyways, I’m so happy you’re taking this as a sign to embrace that side of your identity! Go forth and prosper✨💕

[@healthygreenlifestyle690]

Did you go to school around Dearborn Michigan?

[@divinebeaute]

@@healthygreenlifestyle690 No, I’ve only been in the US for three years now 😭

[@user-ij5sp4zv5h]

oh yes the difference between girls only schools vs mixed schools and pandering to the male gaze, now I was raised catholic but went to an Islamic girls school because there wasnt a catholic school nearby and my parents really wanted me in a girls school and was glad atleast it was something religious Abrahamic faith, (now Im Muslim lol) unique I know, but I remember the sharp shift between me making friends in that school to when I left, wow I used to ignore when other girls used to tell me about bratty they can be, used to think other girls were overreacting about how mean the girls can be around guys and pandering to the male gaze, unlike I witnessed it and wow it was insane how common it is, it would have mentally scarred me if I went to a public school and hitting puberty and they were all dating and being mean depending on which guy liked you, now I didnt date, but I have had coworkers, "friends" bosses who have literally mistreated and been mean to me purely on attention i got from a males (men who I didnt even like), to this day and I refused to be friends with insecure girls now I guess in the religious girls school, we might have crushes but no one was going to risk their representation for guys they didnt want to marry and were sure of, so there wasnt much talk about boys actually, very little in comparison to when I left the school

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

Thats so interesting to hear about. Yea, its really a whole new world when your'e not used to the animosity male-centered women can bring to you. I felt so green and naive. I'll take that any day over being jaded and nasty towards other women....over a mere male...nah lol

[@dionysisofgreece.748]

Your voice insanely nice , you’d make a killing doing ASMR respectfully

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

@@dionysisofgreece.748 thank you🤩💕 I just may.

[@yahainHotPink]

😮💖 I am loving this. Hearing your story

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

@@yahainHotPink thank you hun💕

[@yahainHotPink]

@@LoverGirlsAnonymous You're welcome! 🌹🌹

[@laexotical]

Finally u posted a new video 💗💗💗

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

I was in the boondocks on the country side. Reception was crazy to say the least. So happy to be back. I miss you girls!!🫶🏼🥹💕

[@laexotical]

@@LoverGirlsAnonymous 💗🥰

[@ernestinewilson6209]

They are unbelievably gorgeous 💙 🩵 😊

[@hopefulfortomorrow1039]

I have had continuous bad experiences with Arab women and I think it is because they are jealous of how I look and that I get their men's attention effortlessly as well as seeing my passivity as aloofness. I am a light skin exotical that looks racially ambiguous to the point that freshie South Asians have confused me for one of their own.

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

So sorry to hear that you had that type of experience. Male-centered women of any race/ culture tend to behave in those types of ways.

[@Yatawahaj]

So what are you mixed with? We’re dying to know. P.S your voice totally reminds me of the one iconic one from Gossip Girl 😭.

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

@@Yatawahaj oooo, which one? Blair?😂 I liked her!

[@religion-free]

I was in an Arab school - girrrrrrl they're *_ruthless_*

[@Justcanary8888]

Do you know how to speak Arabic?

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

@@Justcanary8888 yes, functionally. practicing to be more fluid.

[@mschoy1597]

All exoticals are beautiful. We set the standard

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

💅🏼✨💕😆

[@duckman2480]

Are you black and Arab?

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

@@duckman2480 not to my knowledge. Doing a DNA test soon though.

[@duckman2480]

@@LoverGirlsAnonymous I don’t think you can be black and Arab without knowing. Arabs only migrated to black countries since the 1950s-60s. Good luck on finding your dna though.

[@c0deinebrxt]

I’m not even Arab at all and Arab women have always been fascinated by my beauty especially how my brows look naturally. I guess it’s because they’re known for their brows? anyways I always thought the cultures were beautiful and this is an interesting perspective

[@LoverGirlsAnonymous]

thanks! happy you enjoyed it!