Handling People Who Talk Too Much : Politely Interrupting

[@Atlasowl]

It’s not just about hogging the conversation, it’s also just really exhausting and overwhelming. It feels more like work than work does, I can’t take it

[@pennysavage419]

That's how I feel!

[@nickkellie]

I just tell them to stop and I don’t care anymore. I no longer have patience - they are the ones that are being rude!

[@ellenfisher3792]

another consideration, some people are neurodivergent and do not intend to be rude

[@bentonrp]

@ellenfisher3792 Then they won't mind us further detaching them from their disability. Unless they were offended that they weren't allowed to carry on with their beloved impairment...

[@jodihausen1363]

@@bentonrp I am offended by your "beloved impairment" comment. There are kind ways to interact with someone with a disability. Just a thought.

[@aymenlouhibi5775]

One of the worst things about talkative people is when they ask you a question to make you believe they care about you and what you did but in fact it's their way of getting the question reverted back to them so that they can tell you about, say, what they did over the weekend. Bosses do that a lot as well and you can see how they struggle to listen to what you're saying.

[@ExplearningCo]

Ugh that's annoying! But you can be the better communicator and set a good example ☺️🌟

[@hijarahpolangi6407]

agree

[@deltasierratango127]

I was like that , I I'll I met someone who is more extreme than me. Lol!

[@bentonrp]

Talk hog: "Blah, blah blah blah! Blah blah blah, and THEN, Blah, blah, blah, blah, and so you know what I did?? Do Ya??? I went ahead and blah, blah, blah-blah blah....!!!

[@MargaretWPace]

I have a friend who has managed the art of NO TRPs. !!! Topic changes without a pause or any verbal confirmation! Rather speeds up at natural pause stops to keep anyone from from joining in or escaping!!!

[@moejazzie]

I have a friend that talks so much till I don't hear or know what half her conversation is about. I just say" ooh, oh wow, uh huh ×100.". I realized that I have put up a listening block with her.

[@piaronkainen9573]

😅

[@shaunab2735]

Yeah exactly when I’ve said uh huh for the billionth time and they’re still talking it’s like hello, you can ask me questions

[@Jo-kh1yo]

It still doesn`t address when the person is talking all the time and you try to say something at the right time but they still talk over you or interrupt before you have had chance to finish what you were saying.

[@mattv.4089]

The way to address that is to steer clear of people like this. They obviously aren’t looking to have a conversation with you or respect your input on anything so why be around them in the first place.

[@Oscar_239]

@@mattv.4089 Exactly... I had to block someone out of my life because all he did was talk talk talk about himself. It was tiring

[@Mockduck2020]

Record them and send them their babble in a voicemail…

[@preciousmitchell9100]

@@mattv.4089 but I deal with these types of people all day at my job . I’ve spent 1hr 30mins on the phone because some OLD geezer wants to tell me their whole entire life story . Working in a call center for 5mos and ready to gouge my fn eyes out

[@ericgreen4610]

If the person is blabbering continuously and I can't get a word in, I simply just excuse myself and say "I would love to stay and hear more, but I gotta leave. I forgot that I have some artwork to do" and the conversation is over.

[@bentonrp]

Talker: "But, no WAIT! I was just in the middle of telling you how all of them were cousins, and this was IN Calistoga !!! - You can't LEAVE!! Get back h - ...Yeww mother-effer!!!"

[@rayross997]

Mark Twain is reported to have said, "people were talking so much you couldn't get a conversation going".

[@Echo-o-o]

🙂

[@FallenSummer84]

Wise!

[@chubbieminami3274]

Imagine having a boss who talks non-stop for over one hour (unless you stop her) everyday on the phone and you had to listen to it. It was okay in the beginning because she would tell me the whole history of the project. But after one year, it was a big headache. Everyone in the company rolled their eyes. That was my life for several years. She was okay but she had a way of talking non-stop and having absolutely NO pauses. People tried to be polite but I found that it was impossible so I always talked over her. Someone seemed to have told her about this, so she would try to stop and listen, but once it is her chance to speak it was another endless speech. I am so glad I have nothing to do with her anymore.

[@stocksxbondage]

Overtalking is a special kind of torture

[@FreeDom-fv8wy]

I can't process that way. I let them know that they have to pause. Absolutely can't deal with this type of convo.

[@marieb797]

That is literally my boss. Literally. I'm suffering.... 😢

[@chubbieminami3274]

@@marieb797 Oh.... I can understand. There was not much I could have done. She knew her problem but could not fix it. I stayed because the job was good for my career. If not, I would have left sooner.

[@marieb797]

@@chubbieminami3274Mine too. She knows she does it, she apologizes after she's monopolized a conversation but........SHE CONTINUES TO DO IT! My therapist said she has boundary issues and told me to use the grey rock method when she starts. I'm going to try that this week.

[@tburnette910]

What if you just want them to quit rambling on and on because they've hijacked your time? Please make a video for this.

[@musicalsapphire9456]

Yeah!

[@Echo-o-o]

Right. The video assumes the goal is to achieve "talk balance" with the talk monster when sometimes it is simply hostage release!

[@brigeetalight4394]

That's when you leave them​@@Echo-o-o

[@TheGrayman1234]

What if instead of coming to a complete thought, they change to a different subject and continue on with another diatribe. Honestly I do not have the patience for that and just interrupt them. I sometimes feel that I have been taken hostage and forced to listen to a civilian version of a filibuster.

[@Ayyo292]

Love this comment!

[@js7851]

Some people’s ears are turned off, they just talk, cannot hear your comment. And yes, talk over you. If on the phone just put it down, walk away and when you come back they probably will still be talking,

[@piaronkainen9573]

😂

[@queenofhearts1138]

Why should I care about being rude and offending them, when they are so rude and inconsiderate themselves for sucking the air out of the room. She intentionally dominates the energy and its really overwhelming. Even when I give her clear social cues, she is so rude she ramps it up and pulls on me even more. I'm starting to stay away from her, but I really need to learn how to correct these types of ppl in real time and navigate. It just takes so much energy, that ghosting is a much better option for me. It takes too much of my energy to deal with them, and the pay off is very little. These types of ppl lack self awareness, there is no pay off in a relationship w them.

[@Mandrake591]

This approach is too passive to work on arrogant people.

[@bentonrp]

Yup! Most talk-hogs are never ever satisfied unless they own your ears all day. Even if you look away and turn the other direction, they will keep blabber-mouthing. If you keep facing away and take a deep breath to walk away from them, they will act shocked and act offended like YOU'VE been the rude one the whole time. The correct answer for this is to be even more rude than they are. Don't interrupt with pleasantries - interrupt with calm cool insults, and get more and more disrespectful the more they gibber-gabber on. That sarcasm sets the tone that you are tortured and not enjoying their company, and sets the course that the more they gab, the less respected they will become in your eyes.

[@ro7749]

Very well-delivered and helpful information! Question - what do you do when you don't have something specific to say but you just need to make them stop talking so you can process and see if you do have something to say?

[@ExplearningCo]

That's a great question. Honestly, you could just say, "let me think about that for a second" or "hmm interesting, let me process that." Or even "hmm that's interesting, just to make sure I'm following (paraphrase what they said").

[@valuecalc]

Just ignore them. Some people like the sound of their own voices.

[@bentonrp]

They should make a movie where a guy just keeps talking for 2 hrs. straight as the company he's with just gets more and more irritated. As they do, he gets more and more insistent on them to remain trapped listening to him. Ends in violence. 😊

[@loribothwell5493]

I've attracted this lesson of either being the centrer of attention or being left out by bossy people. The result is an empathetic listener and someone who is enjoying the art of conversation. Wonderful advice on the video. Love the Channel 🥰

[@ExplearningCo]

Hi Lori, so happy you enjoyed this lesson and that you love the channel 😁 Enjoying the art of conversation is one of the best parts of Life, in my opinion. Happy to have you here 😊

[@loribothwell5493]

@@ExplearningCo thank you hun🥰🙏

[@marilynwarbis7224]

One problem I have with incessant talkers is that their talk knocks all thoughts out of my mind, so even if I did manage the tips in this video, I'd have nothing really to say! What I find myself doing is a bit mean, but satisfying - I turn to another person in the group and strike up a side conversation. I find this other person responds immediately because they, too, are bored with the conversation-hogger. If it's just me and the incessant talker, after a while I do some small activity, for instance, I may shuffle some papers, or get up and order us another coffee, or rummage in my handbag for something, saying words appropriate to the activity to demonstrate I've had enough of listening: again, a bit mean but nevertheless bringing great satisfaction to my feelings.

[@piaronkainen9573]

😂 Same

[@bentonrp]

@elizknight8262 That's an excellent point.

[@non-ya228]

As a extrovert who talks when I feel there are awkward pauses between a conversation, I need to be weary of talking to much. When I meet others who talk as much or more than me, I will also say "Sorry to interrupt, and they will usually pause as I add an experience of mine that correlated to theirs, but maybe that is construed as rude too.

[@44esta44]

Some really good points...will try those. The one issue with asking about the mochi or Japan, it gives the person the clue to keep going. Sso glad I found this. Thanks!

[@ExplearningCo]

Hi Esther, so happy you found my channel! And very pleased that this video resonated with you :)

[@jarcialeite3026]

Excellent video! This piece of information is capable of changing someone’s life forever. I will look deeper into this subject and apply it in my day to day life. Thank you so much for sharing this!!

[@ExplearningCo]

Glad it was helpful! Happy you enjoyed it :)

[@humanbeing6988]

I extremely adore your methods to simplify the topic .Godspeed and best of luck

[@antoinetteholder32]

I have a bell that I ring when someone intrup

[@flightsoffancy9722]

This is very helpful - thank you. I'd been trying to figure out how to approach this sitation in my book group, a way to help several quiet people contribute more.

[@queenofhearts1138]

I relistened to your video. And I'm sorry, these overtalkers are just not worth the work of me monitoring for a TRP. I think that's an unfair burden to place on the active listener, this is the problem I'm having. Bc to me, these types of ppl are so selfish it's not worth doin this amount of work with them. They are energy vampires. Interrupting ppl intentionally makes me extremely uncomfortable bc I see it as rude behavior. I am more likely to walk away from these ppl .

[@newdaytarot5965]

Definitely great tips for me moving forward. Awesome video!

[@FallenSummer84]

I don't tolerate gossip. I cut ties permanently

[@kedarbhattacharya6418]

Be a good listener and put ur foot down when enough.suggestion.

[@buddyfaya8631]

I NEED A VIDEO ON HOW TO MAKE A PERSON SHUT UP. Administering silence. Please help

[@jillianroselovesfilmandchurros]

I'm watching to better empathize with low patience listeners. Over-talkers are people who will try to first admit their flaws between the lines, and then encourage you to a higher self belief between the lines and will keep talking until they see you encouraged. Game over when you look annoyed rather than inspired.

[@ariannedelaurier5949]

Thank you for this amazing video Daphne!

[@tski007]

Wow, excellent stuff, thanks for sharing 👍🏼

[@ExplearningCo]

Glad you enjoyed it :)

[@saakhidave6115]

It really works 🗣😇😇🗣

[@annettehill1372]

Stop being with people like that🎉

[@shigshug8581]

Just run away and ignore them forever.

[@alaiaadam5767]

🌙🌙🌙 Make a video about someone who simply talks to much even if it involves us also, still tiring

[@hollyjo1776]

I am dealing with a husband/wife set of conversation hogs. When there is a chance to jump in the conversation, the person's spouse jumps in. It is frustrating and exhausting. I am considering not going to a function that I really enjoy because of this. 😤😠

[@AlifyaLifestyle]

Oh gosh this was so helpful!!!

[@seaweed349]

Say uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh..I just want out of the conversation..

[@jemina1948]

I am an itrovert and i mean i suffer a lot when my extrovert fiancee is giving me speeches about dead relatives i didn't knew. Or that small talk about dogleashes for over an hour long..he bubbles like gunmaschine and makes me exhausted and gives me headaches. I don't want to be rude or make him feel bad about himself but i need to find a way to enjoy silence. I don't wanna even say one word becouse bubbling starts and goes on and on forever..any ideas to shut him up?

[@kencory2476]

My friend talks a lot, I think because of anxiety about her own life. I, and all the members of her family, frequently have to raise their voices in order to interrupt her, and to "get a word in edgewise". She interprets this raising of the voice as yelling at her, and this raises her own anxiety. Is there a way to intrude in the conversation without causing this perception? My one strategy is to start by saying her name.

[@bigboy3664]

See my dad loves talking about politics and I’m most certainly think he mite be obsessed over it. He will literally just barge into my room and start talking to me and his time talk is like an average of 4 to 4 and a half hours. I want to say hey dad I don’t want to talk but then he will say why so you can go to your room and play video games. LIKE BRO THE ONLY REASON I WANT TO LEAVE IS BECAUSE YOU TALKED TO ME ABOUT POLITICS FOR A WEEK IN A ROW WITH IT BEING 3 OR MORE HOURS EACH DAY IM ANNOYED AND SENCE IM 18 I AM SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT MOVING OUT. So this is my question how do I get my dad to stfu without me saying hey I don’t want to talk anymore. As in how do I get him to shut up without me saying stop talking.

[@rses916]

Sounds horrible and like the people I was dealing with a few years ago. Honestly lock your room and tell him through the door that you're busy and chilling or sleeping. Your father is mental. Period people like that we shouldn't give them any excuse I'd never do something like that so why do they think it's ok to do it. Gross.

[@bentonrp]

Whatever point he's making, just say, 'hummm, Nnnooo: that's stupid!' And if he gets offended just act offended and go, "Well then, fine!; Screw You!!!" and leave. If he drives further with a counterpoint, just repeat, 'hummm, Nnnooo: that's stupid!' If he demands that you clarify your statement, or asks what you think the right idea is, just respond with: "Oh, I don't know; You're the one who's informed about politics - YOU would know the correct answer better than I would...!" If he reacts by telling you the answer, just reply again, 'hummm, Nnnooo: that's stupid!' He'll get the point that you're not serious about his politics. 😊

[@kedarbhattacharya6418]

Excellent

[@ExplearningCo]

Happy you enjoyed this lesson, Kedar! More to come! Also, have you checked out our other lessons on interrupting on our Advanced English channel? 💬kzbin.info/www/bejne/hmK2ZK1toM5grbM 💬kzbin.info/www/bejne/oprcaHZtfqedbrM

[@sharonseymour8037]

Emotionally Immature, Lacking Self Awareness ❤😊

[@JillDinardo-mb6ii]

I think these people are lonely.

[@technoqueenkiara]

I used to do that when i was younger now that I'm 33 and my aunt is famous for that although i love her dearly she is in her 70s and sadly sometimes she says things that are racist or political usually left wing type speech although i don't dislike her completely her mouth runs a lot and it is sad. On the other hand my cousin and i get along better. It is too sad to witness my aunt is a narcissist 😢

[@pinkpearl1967]

Another option is to shut one's facehole until the person is *actually* finished talking and ONLY interrupt if they are really going on far too long. Not every pause or end-of-a-sentence is a TRP.

[@clintkillzbeatz330]

So on 4:58 5:00 I’ve tried that and said those things and still wasn’t able to collaborate to there convo, they kept goin and I never got to finish my comment and said I wasn’t listening when I was collaborating and emphasizing and understanding common conversation, and adding to the conversation but instead they got upset because I wanted to share what I felt I should say and they gave me no air space to do so

[@bentonrp]

Try this instead: Pretend you're listening for a few seconds by nodding your head, maintaining eye contact, looking interested, or repeating, "yeah, uh-huh!" But then act startled and suddenly shocked to jolt them. Start looking around as if you hear something important and go, ssshhhh! SSSHHHHH!!! After a few seconds of silence, sit back comfortably and show them you enjoy that the noise of their mouth is gone. It's not rude to be rude to someone who is rude to you first.

[@alexanderlyon]

Great work. Also, new camera and/or lens??? The quality looks amazing. Love the blurry background.

[@alexanderlyon]

@@ExplearningCo Looks really great. What lens and camera are you using now?

[@alexanderlyon]

@@ExplearningCo I have that lens for Canon. I love it. But, yes, so much to learn!!

[@max4lifexoxo71]

Your very Gorgeous 💜💙 I will Promote Ur channel, Please More Content and More learning experience lessons ! Thanks For Da Tip ! ;)

[@r.m4575]

Some people are dominated by the planet Mercury and keep talking. They just want to be heard n are basically disturbed. Never at rest.you can't judge them. My partner is one.

[@Echo-o-o]

Especially if Mercury is right on the Descendant, I have noticed. Or Jupiter is conjunct Mercury.

[@SEVENTHREEANDNINE]

When the waitress monopolizes a romantic dinner to ask your middle names… and tell you all about where she went to school etc etc etc…. romance buzz kill. I got dressed up for her life story.. on my birthday and it’s our second dinner date. Clueless 🤷‍♀️

[@Echo-o-o]

I miss French waiters. They are charming because they say so little.

[@katvadee]

fast forward to 5mins

[@dhabiasalam]

I am really sorry but this wasn’t helpful. The video was full of heavy Vocab but couldn’t find a way to apply to in real scenarios.

[@ExplearningCo]

Thanks for the feedback! This might be a good place to start: kzbin.info

[@lilymohsye]

@@ExplearningCo OMG that is some *****SHADE****** from the video creator! I can't believe she posted that! What a way to alienate the viewership. Put a really bad taste in my mouth. I won't be watching her videos any further.

[@hharprietsingh6710]

She had to talk a lot to explain it..................... SIGH

[@ExplearningCo]

Yep! Quality content :)

[@bentonrp]

You can't make a KZbin instructional video without giving some instructions - most of which are done by talking a lot. She was referring to dominating the say in conversations, not in videos.

[@louisaklimentos7583]

I got told I talk too much but I do let people have their say . Are you non talkative people perfect ? So I slowed my talking down and now I am told what is wrong with me because I am quiet . I can’t win .

[@Echo-o-o]

I think it is more about the art of conversation, where things flow because both people are talking about something they are both interested in, first, and both interested in what the other has to say about it, second.

[@louisaklimentos7583]

@@Echo-o-o True

[@sylvannafraga1625]

You are Not giving a solution for when a person speaks without giving any trp at all. Nothing. None. Nada.

[@ExplearningCo]

Hi Sylvanna, there are always TRPs, it's on us to listen for them. If the person speaks past a possible TRP then you can still interrupt them politely. I go into some more examples in these two videos. Enjoy! kzbin.info/www/bejne/gJvIdqyCeN6GoLs kzbin.info/www/bejne/aYCtZmuOjrt1p8k

[@j3131Jscoop]

This dame talks too much...

[@kedarbhattacharya6418]

U r talking too much.ha ha