Failing My PhD ? | Dissertation Diaries Ep 8 | Applying for Research Fellowships & Grants

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Title: Failing My PhD ? | Dissertation Diaries Ep 7| Applying for Research Fellowships & Grants #ad
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[@kierstenfage7097]

Hey Kaelyn! I am also a PhD candidate in history, I work in the area of the Material Culture of Slavery and Enslavement. I'm my sixth year and still well and truly only at the beginning of my writing journey. Your videos are so inspiring and have really helped me to feel more confident in my own PhD journey! Fellowships are super difficult, you can only do what you can do- never beat yourself up about it! We are after all, "in training" and this is all part of the PhD learning journey! You've got this!!

[@disabledshyah]

I love watching the dissertation diaries while on my work breaks! Keeps me in the study mood while allowing me to break

[@lizee708]

Always appreciate your willingness to be honest and show the real side of the journey. It's not always glitz and things will always go your way. I start my PhD program in a few months and although excited, I'm terrified. Your videos help with all the emotions and clips of Moo is the best!!

[@Heyu7her3]

PhD journey is mostly failure & iteration

[@fdoctor79]

As a PhD student, I totally understand the frustration of things not going as "planned" and having to pivot. 😅 Hang in there and know you are not alone. Tfs

[@janalewis3030]

Congratulations on getting some fellowship items done. Good luck on the rest. You'll be able to look back in 5 years and go "Wow - that really was a lot of hard work and I made it through!!" :)

[@tessmccoy6949]

I’ve also had to say “I don’t want this” to my advisor about fellowships and it’s really hard! It feels like you’re supposed to but also have to tel yourself it’s your life and you get to decide if you want to move, spend the time, etc. Also, totally feeling the breakdowns… had a big one this weekend🙃

[@anthonyv.8668]

A Yale legal history dissertation that may help you is: "Religion and law in colonial New England, 1620-1730" by Katherine Hermes.

[@KaelynGraceApple]

Thank you!!!?

[@hollyc4624]

I remember being in those shoes years ago. I worked on an Honors’ thesis that was the size of a master’s thesis and then a master’s that was really a PhD program. I finished the Honors’ thesis and left the doctoral program for my true passion, medical school and neurology. I’m glad I did but I love watching the process of doing research in an historical field. It is so completely different than the STEM research that I was involved in. I love your mindset and work ethic. When it becomes overwhelming, just realize that you have many people pulling for you to succeed, and you will. 😊

[@KaelynGraceApple]

Thank you

[@deborasoaressilvaacademico]

Hey Kaelyn! I hope that you're doing well... I'm not a historian, my masters is on another field but I totally relate with your journey and I just wanna to say that you are not failling, research has a lot of surprises during it's process and that it a challenge but not a failure. Just keep going! Each day, little by litte you will get there :)

[@KaelynGraceApple]

Thank you! You too!

[@onto-epistemology9792]

Keep going! I am also writing my PhD dissertation and totally understand you.🙂

[@withzunaira]

I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable with us. Much love.

[@KaelynGraceApple]

[@charlotteclarke691]

With Google docs- if you go onto file then page set up you can change the page colour

[@kvirklub]

thanks for sharing! I am currently writing scholarship applications, too, and this video supported me. it is quite sad that these things are so difficult to complete without breaking down at least once...

[@KaelynGraceApple]

[@MauraBrennan]

Scrintal sounds super cool--I also feel frustrated by trying to mind map on paper, so I'm excited to check it out. It's true that managing a balance between navigating large amounts primary source material and figuring out when to really start writing intensively is tricky. I think your feeling that you need more archival time is pretty accurate, from what you're depicting, and I hope the upcoming trips are fruitful for you. What you're doing requires so much processing in several different ways, and it takes time!! I hope you get the funding you need to stay in London!

[@KaelynGraceApple]

[@lajourdanne]

Have you tried Scrivener? I had to use it for my dissertation because it just gave me more flexibility in moving sections and seeing from bird’s eye view. Then I export each draft as a word doc with the date updated. You can change the background to whatever color you want including using dark mode. I wanted to know your thoughts.

[@Salsabil007]

I thought the same when you described your difficulties. Scrivener also has dark themes and focus mode with any chosen (dark) background. Unfortunately, it's not easy to integrate a reference manager like Zotero. By the way, I very much enjoy how much you go in detail when talking about your research. I am also doing my PhD in History, in Islamic history, though, and I can totally relate. Enjoyed this vlog!

[@KaelynGraceApple]

Oh I will check it out!

[@KaelynGraceApple]

[@johnsoniega3812]

Hi Kaelyn, I am also a Historian in training doing a PhD atm and your videos are super inspiring! Keep pushing through the challenges!

[@colleencarylleslietorres8016]

Hi Kaelyn. Huge fan. Just started watching your channel this week during our finals season here in the Philippines. I'm a 3rd year PhD Sociology student in the University of the Philippines Diliman. Thanks for sharing this vlog last January. I'm currently experiencing the same thing with my paper today, but your persistence and power-throughs in your videos inspire me to also do the same in my own academic works. Thank you for the work that you do. You are helping a lot of grad students with your vlogs and life experiences. Wishing you all the best in the remainder of your PhD studies.

[@karleybioanthro]

Yeah. Outlines help sooo much! I need them every time I write something!

[@Livvyellisor]

Love watching these for my own motivation. You got this, Kaelyn!

[@mll1208]

Hi Kaelyn, I resonate so much with your struggle with feeling like the research is advanced enough for getting fellowships! I just submitted my funding application for a sixth year, and as a PhD student in the UK for a US university, same: I don't really want to move back! Thank you so much for sharing your process, it's so nice to hear it from a fellow PhD student! I want to try Scrintal after seeing you using it.

[@dissertatinopossum]

Awesome on you for getting fellowship applications out. Its really hard to fit in when you have research to do! Applying for postdoc fellowships to start at the end of my PhD (I am in my last semester) took soooo much of my time.

[@KaelynGraceApple]

wishing you the best of luck with your postdoc apps!

[@trewaldo]

I usually view failure as ideas or or attempts that never work so it would make me cross out my list of options until I come across with the one that works. Great video again, Kaelyn! Cheers! 😍🤓🥰

[@Kdmud]

Thank you so much for the Scrintal recommendation, I immediately got it ( it is exactly what I was dreaming of when thinking of mind mapping!), and I am so excited to take the deep dive into the program. I love your videos because even though I am an older study from home gal, watching your journey has boosted my enthusiasm in my study journey. And, the decisions you made in this video made me so happy for you. You really get to the core of what you want and how you want to live your life, and then apply it to your work and path…which to me is chef’s kiss decision making! 🎉

[@dvrk_academic]

These videos really validate my own struggles in my phd - I feel blocked constantly but hopefully it'll get better soon

[@lpds52]

Do you edit directly on Google Docs? Instead consider save the files in GDrive but edit in an external editor (at least MS Word / Libreoffice has dark mode). Scrivener also has that option...

[@Gavriela.1234]

Stay strong girl!❤ you will make it at the end I am sure 🎉❤ phd is not an easy journey for sure but you got it! Greetings from Rotterdam.

[@KaelynGraceApple]

Thank you so much!!

[@alexsandracavalcanti3179]

Kaelyn, hello! I am in political science masters and I really know how it is to think we don't have enough to write. The solution has been, at least for me, read a new piece of literature, get inspiration, and then write while collect more data. Human sciences are very hard because the studies data collection, data analysis, and writing happens all in the same time. There is no schedule! Let's go ahead ❤

[@1988Keish]

In dissertation mode as well. Thank you for being transparent in regards to hoe you are processing. Definitely going through it

[@KaelynGraceApple]

Rooting for both of us to see this through

[@nattynoodlenutkin]

Moo and London boy just melted my heart - the unexpected double act!

[@nattynoodlenutkin]

Just seen the mini-meltdown and your realisation that you don't want the two fellowships. You cannot force a round peg into a square hole. You can't break yourself just to do what you think is expected of you. It made me feel really proud that you made the decision and took the step to find something that fits you better. Hopefully, as I catch up on your videos, I'll discover that you've found something that helps you soar ❤

[@paulaa5866]

your vlogs give me a comfort I didn't know I needed as an undergrad! thank you for sharing, I'm enjoying this series, and I hope you feel more and more secure with your dissertation! fighting!!!

[@KaelynGraceApple]

[@Kevin.S.Birdwell]

Hi Kaelyn, you look really attractive ❤

[@rubenvictorinobalderas9530]

Todo de ti es maravilloso!!!!

[@shanshangalan8074]

Yea I do too I am working on my thesis for my writers group program I am in

[@KaelynGraceApple]

[@KaelynGraceApple]

[@Shelleebeee]

Is it a Kaelyn video if the phrase “I’m gonna go ‘head and…” doesn’t appear multiple times 😂

[@KaelynGraceApple]

😅 predictable as always

[@eustaquiozambrano2974]

Thanks for sharing. Have a good Day 👍

[@robertgarcia9981]

You got this! You're videos are very inspirational!

[@KaelynGraceApple]

Thank you so much!

[@zoonpolitikon1648]

Thanks for the vulnerability. It helps.

[@KaelynGraceApple]

[@dalishrogue3621]

The only time I use Google is when I have to. Otherwise, I'm just grateful that my school pays for Word. It might just be that I'm too stubborn to change word processing. Also, I stopped watching your videos for awhile and it's funny that now that I've returned I learned that you weren't a fellow lit major haha. Good luck!

[@kbird6208]

How much archival research is typically needed for history dissertations? I'm in STEM so I have zero idea

[@KaelynGraceApple]

Depends on the project! Mine will require a significant amount because I am looking for 'a needle in a haystack' as they say

[@greenpill7320]

Hey what made you decide to major in AA history? you don't look AA idk if you are or not but just going off of looks I'm curious

[@margaretschachte489]

She probably just thinks it's an interesting subject and wants to study it?

[@greenpill7320]

@@margaretschachte489 yes but out of all the subjects of history I was just curious why she chose it as a major.

[@naziajasmintalukdar]

​I am Masters Student of History and I know it is a challenging subject (even though nothing compared to a phd program) but the passion and interest for the subject keeps me going. I will certainly do a phd in this subject @@greenpill7320

[@lookin4avampire]

I really liked the songs in the background of this one😊

[@KaelynGraceApple]

🥰 yay I'm glad

[@hazelorb]

Moo and LB 🥺😍

[@kristinadube7032]

Me right now realizing I botched my gpa a bit and am going to struggle during law school admissions. 😢

[@KaelynGraceApple]

wishing you the best of luck

[@kristinadube7032]

@@KaelynGraceApple thanks love. Luckily I still have my bachelor's gpa to hopefully save me.

[@shanshangalan8074]

How many words or chapters do you have to write

[@KaelynGraceApple]

about 100,000 words in total

[@shanshangalan8074]

@@KaelynGraceApple that is like a book are you going to published it when you done. I am working on my thesis right now for my writing program I am in

[@andresmalaver6802]

MOO!!!

[@theoryof.lauren]

you've got this kaelyn!!! 🤍

[@KaelynGraceApple]

Thank you Lauren!