Family DISOWNED Me 8 Years Ago And Now Suddenly Want Me Back In Their Lives r/Relationships Reddit

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "I was never neglected" unfortunately OP, yes you were

[@lilywong9672]

At least emotionally.

[@DystopianOverture]

People tend to forget emotional neglect is a thing sadly :/

[@buuam7555]

"Little did OP know, they were indead neglected"

[@MizTameRumors]

God It makes me so sad when people say ' they never neglected me' like starving a child is the only form of neglect. Emotional neglect is a real and damaging thing.

[@djdomain]

Unfortunately most abused kids only have their abusive parent(s) for their frame of reference, so they believe their perspective when they say things like "I never laid a finger on you", "You were a problem child", "I only hit you when you did something bad to deserve it", etc.

[@tamsel814]

@@djdomain that's why I find education about different types of abuse in primary school very important. Just basic stuff, what is it and what to do. I know at least one situation where a child realised they were abused after such a lesson. If we don't teach kids what abuse is then we will never be able to stop it.

[@Davtwan]

And, even if technically no neglect was involved, doing the bare minimum isn’t going to exactly lead to a loving parent-and-child relationship.

[@rogrove6325]

amen

[@CaulkMongler]

THAT part - parents who obviously choose favorites and very visibly put in effort to show up for siblings DOES COUNT as emotional neglect!

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

OP: I was the black sheep of the family, all of my family were athletes- Me: Oh, I feel that. OP: -I took up archery, which my family called a "wimpy sport" Me: ...what. Archery requires so much precision and skill. I can't imagine calling an archer "whimpy". Also, eff the family. They're only reaching out to OP to not get written out of grandpa's will? For a lie THEY made up. Just throw them all in the trash.

[@damien678]

i was seriously expecting an artsy or academic type but no. they're just elitist over sports. and if he went into hunting with his archery skills? that's genuinely an incredible skill to have. much more practical and applicable than an entertainment sport.

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

@@damien678 Right? I was the creative and academic in my family and they were desperate to find *some* sport to suit me. They would have loved if I'd taken up archery! They tried so many sports with me: gymnastics, ballet, jazz, baseball, floor hockey, basketball, volleyball, heck even *badminton*... the only sport that stuck was skiing but I never competed.

[@yuniesan]

Archery needs so much strength put into your upper body, hell in my mind he's the most athletic of his family, the rest of them are just assholes gatekeeping which "sports" are actual sports. Archery is in the Olympics for fucks sake

[@cgi2002]

I love how they called the 1 sport from the list OP gave that easily specifically designed as a form of warfare, and developed as, for several thousand years, the single most deadly military asset most countries had, wimpy. Also this concept of them been athletes, they played sport at a school level, that doesn't make you an athlete, it just means you were athletic in school.

[@shaneshackleford6960]

They were practically elite troops behind mounted knights/lancers

[@Tammohawk1]

1. If one of my sons slept with the others girlfriend, the one who slept w/the brothers girlfriend would have been the one disowned for creating that hateful drama in our family. What is the matter w/these people?

[@stephaniewilson3955]

Golden child syndrome.

[@nancyjay790]

OP didn't meet the expectations that the bio parents had. It's easy to have dreams or imagine what your kids will grow up to be, but only bad parents punish the kids who take a different path. It is like Golden Child syndrome, but with whoever in the family falls in line, and any who don't are made to suffer.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I know right? I'll never understand why people always defend the garbage people in the name of images and a fragile peace. You're essentially enabling their despicable behavior.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

Nah nah nah, OP was the scapegoat. He always was the scapegoat. Casey was the golden child. Because that's a narcissistic family. It's how they function. the abuse and neglect has a purpose. they probably genuinely thought that he would come crawling back. idiots. i hope Amy is miserable just like the rest of them.

[@bigbearkat2010]

And wasn't it nice of them to not have him thrown in jail for giving his brother a richly deserved punch to the face

[@Russman67]

What an absolutely toxic family that OP escaped. The only one I wouldn't cut complete contact with would be the aunt. She's already outside of the group.

[@hugoumero9723]

i really hope OP nieces and nephews will realise about what terrible and toxic they are and they will disowned them in next years

[@mellowmallow4855]

Just wanted to point out the fact that they ruined *TWO* people's reputation. OP and the girl they accused OP of cheating on Amy with. OP was gone, so he could not defend himself. But that poor girl had to deal with that toxic family protecting Amy and the douche brother.

[@notovny]

Assuming that the woman they accused OP of cheating on Amy with actually exists. I think they probably made her up. It's a story they sold to Grandpa, who presumably doesn't live nearby. If the woman doesn't exist, they can just say "We cut her off, we don't talk about her anymore, she left town." As long as they don't slip up on the name (or never specify it at all) Grandpa isn't likely to spend much effort verifying that she exists. If she does exist, she's another person who can blow up the lie if she finds out. No reason to risk angering a real scapegoat if an imaginary one can do the job almost as well.

[@ronhall5395]

Casey and Amy did not even have the common decency to explain what really happened. Then Sarah lying too? Wow, they all really disliked OP for some reason. OP was lucky to get away from that toxic Amy and his messed up family.

[@SilentZombie]

@@ronhall5395 From what I seen, Amy did. However, it was a stupid fucking explanation. "While I love you, my love for your brother Surpasses that." It's like WHAT?!! What does that even mean?!

[@iamalbertwesker2]

​@@ronhall5395 Because he wasn't a "real athlete"

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

The family deserve each other. I'm glad the cracks are finally starting to show and their "perfect" family has been outed as the shitshow it is.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Me too. In my opinion, if you care more about having a picture perfect family image than having a genuinely happy family, then you don't deserve a family.

[@biancajamison3989]

Since he cussed grandpa out, i don't think he has to worry about the family contacting him anymore. He has lost grandpa's favor and they are surely back in

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

I hope not. He deserves that money. They do not.

[@black1917]

Or he impressed grandpa by showing strength where they showed submission.

[@Zonee1328]

@@black1917no, he overreacted by cussing him out and showed he’s emotional lmao

[@Dizastermaster.]

​@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259No he doesn't. He cussed grandpa out. Do what you want but actions have consequences

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

@@Dizastermaster. ok

[@rylashadow18]

Proof that selfish people only start to care when it affects what they get or if they get anything at all. Congrats OP you have a true family with your wife, your child, your future and your Aunt.

[@ScooterBond1970]

Stories like this make me happy my family doesn't have a lot of money to worry about.

[@damien678]

archery??? WIMPY???? WIMPY???!!! do y'all even know how STRONG you have to be to draw an arrow? to hold it in position to aim? to be able to hit with force? my gods. I'm already completely upset over this and I'm NOT an athletic person in general

[@tangerine1801]

They're on steroids

[@damien678]

@@tangerine1801 i think im failing to see how this claim is relevant

[@tangerine1801]

@@damien678 fair

[@nightmarefanatic1819]

Yep, the sport used by warriors and hunters is so girly, he should have joined a redundant "throw the ball in a container" sport.

[@wwondertwin]

Is it another family that wants a piece of OP's body, or bodily fluids or maybe some cells for their own needs? Those are my favourite stories, it's always so delicious when they get they what's been coming to them.

[@carolroberts4614]

I was going to say grandchild or kidney!

[@carolsimpson4422]

As i read the title I thought "I wonder if one of one those relatives needs a kidney" 🤣

[@susanbailey3715]

O

[@Davtwan]

So sorry, everyone. The answer is inheritance. However, you’ll still go home with a moderate cash sum for playing our game. That’s all the time we have, folks. See you next week!

[@carolroberts4614]

It's not the winning, it's the taking part!

[@Iflie]

How unimaginable, even his twin didn't love him. What a toxic family, he didn't even do anything except hit his brother. Which is pretty normal if you ask me. They were just so eager to get rid of him they blackmailed him with pressing charges. They are nuts.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

The family considers archery a “wimpy sport“? You can kill people with that sport LMFAO. A silent sniper 😈 Seriously though I don’t understand what’s wimpy about mastering an actual weapon.

[@Barlmoro]

this. i have a longbow and a old classmate bullyed me, cose i am not into football (europe not the american rugby) i flat out told him:" you know you attack someone who is traind with a lethal weapon?"

[@DystopianOverture]

It won't be a whimpy sport when you are at the receiving end of an arrow.

[@83gemm]

It’s probably because it’s usually a woman or slight male in films that uses a bow. Like Katniss or Legolas. For some, masculinity is defined by picking up a rock and slamming it onto skulls.

[@ooSHINIES]

@@83gemm They don't know how much upper arm strength you need to be able to draw some types of bows and it shows.

[@Zonee1328]

@@Barlmoroyou being trained with a bow doesn’t really mean anything. I would be more worried about someone who plays American football then someone who practices archery for the simple fact that they’re training their whole body to peak physical performance. They’re gonna get to you faster than you’re gonna get to your bow and be able to draw it

[@eliability]

Story 1: If OP goes, They’re probably going to make Op feel bad. It’s been 8 years, I think they might want something from him. Casey hurt Op in a horrible way and they chose his side over Op when Casey did something wrong. Maybe just go another time and spend the holidays with your wife. ETA: OP’s family seem not so great. I agree with the comments, they’re probably going to gang up on OP. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. Story 1 Update on the wife: Oh gosh i just want to hug them so bad. It sucks that she had a miscarriage and I just… aw… Story 1 Update: Nah that’s not okay at all. OP’s family is truly terrible and OP deserved better. They made up possibly life altering lies about OP. It’s good that OP’s grandpa is understanding that the family lied to him. OP’s family are greedy and terrible and I’m glad that OP is deciding to block them after all that undeserved crap. OP’s grandpa is good for apologizing and being rightfully disgusted by his family, but he’s just as bad as the rest. Cutting off his daughter for being bisexual and making a comment about OP’s wife’s last name. I was answering as I was listening and I had some hope but now I’m just disappointed and mad. OP is good to cut them off, they’re toxic and OP has his in laws and friends and his wife and daughter. Good luck to OP in the rest of his life, he’s made good choices and did what was best for him and his family.

[@brendakellam6128]

..

[@MrJpaynebb]

So grandpa is trying but he's got a long way to go to redeem himself, not so much for OP but for the aunt, his daughter. Doesn't mean OP should let him in his life however. Given how the family cut him off, why the did so and the lies they spread we all understand why OP wanted to change his name and why any children should carry on the wife's surname and not his. So they kicked OP out in favor of a golden child, lied to cover for him and now only want to reconnect so they aren't cut out of the will. It's a family of homophobes, liars, cheaters, manipulators and goldiggers. That's definitely people that need to be cut off.

[@eliability]

@@MrJpaynebb I agree with you there, I see where Op’s family gets their toxic behavior from

[@groofromtheup5719]

OP probably should not have unloaded on Grandpa. That was emotion not logic. He should have just told Grandpa "Everyone in my family with that last name absolutely crapped on me. Why would I want more people in my family with that last name?" OP going nuts probably just drove Grandpa back to the real jerks.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Life is about moving forward. You don't venture back into the manure heap after having crawled out. OP's parents have shown him who they are and he would do well to keep his distance. OP should have just told the grandfather that his experience with the people bearing the "family name" wasn't good, so he decided to keep his child as far away from the name as possible.

[@leelee7731]

Op had a right to blow up at grandpa. I wouldn’t have. I would have calmly said that the family screwed me and I wanted my children to have the name of a family that would love and support them. If grandpa had wanted to have me feel that I should honor the family name he shouldn’t have cut me off without even talking to me. The value of the words of the parents was enough for him to put you out with the garbage 8 years ago. Ask him if he would have wanted to honor a family name of those who treated his so badly. That that monstrous treatment happened and the children will always have a loving family on their moms side. My cousin married a man who had a terrible father. All through high school it was my uncle he went to for fatherly help. Even after error high school dating was over. He loved my uncle and his best friend became my cousins older brother. Years later they reconnected and married. He insisted on changing his name to my uncles last name. He said this was his real family and he wanted to be the same name.

[@groofromtheup5719]

I certainly get not wanting to have more family members with the last name that absolutely dumped on him. Going off on grandpa likely just drove grandpa back to the real jerks, and got them exactly what they really wanted.

[@jessicaable5095]

Yeah, I really hope grandpa didn't do a 180 after that and put the sespool he calls a family back in the will

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@jessicaable5095 I can almost guarantee he did. Is he really going to still going to choose the one that personally attacked him, or the ones that unjustly dumped on the guy that personally attacked him, wand still want to be around Grandpa?

[@badkitty4922]

I wish I could tell OP in Story 1 that Geena Davis, the well known actress, is/ was an Olympic Archer AND a member of MENSA, among other things. Just so that he could tell his AH family as a sort of F you to them. Also, Jeremy Renner, THE Hawkeye from Marvel, is also an actual really good Archer. He's a natural and Dead Eye with weapons, and had to constantly be reminded while filming the Ben Affleck movie The Town, to dumb down his skill set, because his character was a lifetime street hood without formal training. 😘💖👍🙏 Fu*k those people, OP!!👍👋👋👋👋

[@Barlmoro]

i was into archery back than to and a shoolmate who was into football ( i mean real football not this american rugbi) and make fun of my for this and try to bully me cose his sport is so loved by all. I strayd say only: "did you realice that you attack someone who is traind with a deadly weapon?"

[@carolroberts4614]

I am really impressed with archery, I think I would have been a danger to life and limb! I can't even throw a dart straight!

[@KarmikCykle]

"Archery is a wimpy sport" I'd hardly consider a sport that involves using a lethal weapon "wimpy".

[@crowdemon_archives]

Swords, guns, even the more Chinese-flavoured martial arts, or HEMA. All used in warfare in various degree, but they worked.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story one, you have a beautiful family why on earth would you choose to spend it with people who never loved you? Come on don’t ruin your good life with stress etc.

[@Flufferz626]

Best wishes to you and yours, Mark. And Poppy too! We adopted out 2 kitties together that were from opposite sides of the country and we took them in because they'd be euthanized otherwise. The two of them bonded when we let them free-roam. Easton was Molly's shadow. They got adopted together! Easton grew up in a kennel due to ringworm and heard your voice every day because I was playing it on speakerphone whilst I was doing tasks. Thanks for everything you do!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Awwwww babies

[@Flufferz626]

Also just found out (wasn't working today) the little kitten who had a deviated septum, FIP, and pneumonia had to be put down an hour ago. Sorry for macabre update. Despite fundraising and treatment her tiny body couldn't take it. She crossed the Rainbow Bridge with staff surrounding her in a warm and cozy place, with all the food she wanted to eat and all the love we could provide despite her never having a forever home. This is the part of my job I loathe. Hope to see you again, Freya.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@Flufferz626 oh no the poor baby, I hope they are happy now without pain

[@WillieManga]

Oh my god... I am so sorry, OP. Not just for the neglect, some of which you probably didn't know about because some victims don't notice, but for the loss of your second child. Even with the other kids, losing even one can be very upsetting.

[@DarkTraveler09]

In all honestly, I'm really happy for OP. Sounds like he got out of a really toxic, greedy family when he did. Hell, I wouldn't even call them 'family', as that term is to good for the likes of those vile people. He has friends, aunt and uncle, a wife and daughter to care for and love him dearly. He doesn't need 'those' people back in his life, especially the grandpa. I know some people might say "But, the grandpa was going to give access to money" This could have been true, but it wouldn't be on equal or OP's terms, it would be on the grandfather's. And that could open a whole knew can of worms he doesn't need. I respect OP to sticking with he guns and cutting all ties with those people.

[@hugoumero9723]

well i bet the family will be homeless in next years due to greedy and will spend lot of money

[@DarkTraveler09]

@@hugoumero9723 If they even get it at all. But, I still wouldn't be surprised if that were to be the outcome. Because people like that having access to that much money tend to not use their damn heads.

[@Zonee1328]

What the hell do you mean on grandpa’s terms? It was literally money from his will so he wouldn’t have gotten it until he died. Do you even think before you type? Op was right up until the point he overreacted and acted beyond emotional when his grandpop asked him about the last name

[@DEJ309]

Have a friend who has a Mormon family. He was disowned by them along with friends he grew up with. Later on his long lost older sister contacted him out of the blue. He was a toddler when she was disowned. He never knew she existed, but he met her and her family and their relationship is growing.

[@carolroberts4614]

That's nice that she found him!

[@miamyos]

That's lovely, I'm happy they have each other now

[@Jace_the_mace]

Story 1: It’s funny how OP was the whimpy one but was able to knock out his “very athletic” brother. These people aren’t worth it OP stay very far away from them since they will only be interested in using you.

[@asw654]

That's because they are morons. Archery takes a ton of strength. I blame fantasy tropes in movies and games always showing archers as thin waifs. Ask someone who has shot a war bow. I did weightlifting and was on the boxing team at my college, and big bows still make me quiver uncontrollably.

[@zeronos2844]

Well to be fair, your arm muscles would be extremely developed considering the force you need to pull the bow.

[@crowdemon_archives]

Yea, let's just say there are reasons why I would not want to be on the receiving end of anyone who pull bows for fun (alongside a bunch others, but archers are definitely not built just to pull strings).

[@zeronos2844]

@@crowdemon_archives English Bowmen from the early centuries had elongated arms from where they pull their bow. That enough is clear sign the force need to nock and pull the string.

[@cheskydivision]

Never trust friends or family that suddenly want to see you or be in your life.

[@madisonl3401]

Thank you for covering relationship stories! We are so spoiled! Hope Poppy is doing well!

[@LadyCeag840]

The moral of this story is sad but true. Oftentimes, whenever family or ex-friends reach out to you after years of cut off, it is because either A) some sort of ulterior motive or B) some extreme revelations has surfaced. It’s good to be open to reconciliation, just leave the rose-colored glasses at home…

[@TheNormExperience]

Grandpa now knows the WHOLE truth (of the past at least, not the present) and still has the unmitigated gall to say he’s disappointed OP didn’t carry on the **faaaaaamily** name?! Are you freaking kidding me? WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE?! He owes them nothing as they were NEVER his family. OP is NTA. He sounds so much better than all the rest of his disgusting bloodline who seem to only bring him nothing but pain, even now. So I hope for once they do right by him and let him go, instead of pushing it for their own greed.

[@BlackLotus30]

I think OP jumped the gun here, yes the grand pa is disappointed, but it is human nature to want your family name to cross generation. I would just told the grandpa with everything OP went could he really blame him? And if grandpa can't handle that then tough luck.

[@ruthbeamish8849]

How did dear old Gramps even discover that his little grand daughter did not beat the paternal name. Odd!!!

[@victorvaldez8869]

I would suggest that OP might want to send a send a letter to his Grandfather that he is glad that he now knows the truth, but does not want money with strings attached. Explain that the reason the kids don't have the family name is the bitterness OP feels about how he was treated, & that OP would have changed his last name too. Then I'd suggest that OP consider putting in the work to do just that & let his grandfather know in the letter. Send it at a neighboring town's post office without a return address.

[@photofreak56]

First my heart to OP and more to his wife. I hope that they will be able to heal and that OP's wife will be okay. The lose of a pregancy must suck hard. The family isn't worth having around money shouldn't be more importent then treating your child/grandchild with respect. I think OP is a good person and I wish him the best with his life.

[@fcold9402]

1. You have a family, focus and spend time on them. Will these people add anything to your life? EDITS the answer is no.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Pausing now: I'm betting he has the only grandkid and they realized that Casey did stuff against not only his twin but the other siblings and possibly parents as well and they've decided to turn their backs on him and instead go for OP. That are they realized if Casey and Amy had kids Amy cheated on him and they're not biologically Casey's and now they want to biological grandchild. I don't know those just seem more accurate considering half the Reddit posts we hear when it comes to stuff like this

[@Voodoomaria]

Initial story: It's a trap, they want/need something from you. I'm thinking twin brother = liver/kidney. Don't go. Update: KNEW IT. People like that don't change, they only intensify. Let's fake a reconciliation to grab Grandpa's money. Truly lovely people, and Grandpa is no peach either. The depths people will sink to never surprises me. Impresses me sometimes, but never surprises me.

[@chanaleahsteinberg2645]

Story 1: Ooof. that family is just oof. I am just happy he has his wife and daughter and are away from them. My heart really goes out to him and hope 2022 brings them what they need. and maybe the rest of his family step on a lot of Legos. Like...a lot. Also a side point. Archery is a sport and it takes a lot to do it. I have done it as a small hobby for a while now. Let me tell you it's hard. It takes a lot of arm strength to use the bow properly and professional bows are heavy. It takes work to be good at archery. You also need to be coordinated since you have to stand properly to be able to shoot the arrow right. ...and I am sorry for that mini rant. I love archery and even though it was a small point in the story it got me mad that they said archery was a weak sport.

[@rogerrabbit80]

Archery is a "wimpy" sport? Right. Please tell me about all the armies who were armed with soccer balls or baseballs.

[@roelthas]

S1. Before hearing the update. They want something from OP. After update. Ding, ding, ding, inheritance. 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@alg1335]

I was disowned over 3 years ago. I gave advise not asked for and I was out. Years have passed, New Years, Christmas, Birthday, Thanksgiving, I watch them all grow on Facebook. I learned to never give advise when it’s not asked for. The saddest thing is the ignorance. Did you ever have a friend or family member that wants you to stop speaking to someone they no longer speak to? Is my family wrong for joining forces and disowning me for something I said to one member? My words were misunderstood and not one person has had the capacity to reach out and try to understand what happened. So sad…how should I handle this? It still hurts I feel so alone. Thank you all that read and share the same experience. 🙏🏼💞🎼🍀

[@shaynethegmann]

"I was never neglected they just weren't emotionally there for me" that's neglect....that is neglect

[@beaner2night732]

I dont know what OP said specifically, but his is how I would have responded in OP's scenario to his grandpa. "Im disappointed your daughter did not get our family name," "Me too, Grandpa. I'm sad to say this was due to my own family, or should I say ex-family, for betraying and abandoning me. They made it clear and let me know I was no longer part of the family when they disowned me. Fortunately, I have moved on to do better in my life. My wife and her family accepted me and helped me heal my wounds. God bless them."

[@hothotheat3000]

If people disown you and magically reappear, it’s for one of the following reasons: Money Medical Grandkids Saving Face Every single time.

[@thomasplummer8103]

On Redit anyway. IRL, sometimes its because they finally got clean and or got the psychological help they desperately needed. It does happen, although more rarely than we could wish. Nonetheless, fixing themselves does not obligate you to forget or forgive the past, nor to choose to have anything to do with them.

[@catharsismemory]

S1. Thats crazy op still ended up following the sport tradition in the family. Archery is definitely a sport and takes skill to learn.

[@Tyanna01]

Casey might have been a star running back, but couldn't take a punch from his wimpy brother huh? Where they butt hurt over the fact that archery boy was able to clock his more manly brother and knock him out? Seriously though, I can't fathom kicking a kid out for being justifiably angry at their sibling for sleeping with their SO. That is insane levels of favouritism right there. And to not care AT ALL about that child until they are threatened to be kicked out of a will? WTF. The grandfather over stepped. He started off on the right foot to apologize right away, but how clueless do you have to be to not realize why OP's child doesn't have his family's name? Like, wtf would she want his child to share the name of a family that cut him off for a terrible and selfish reason? If I was OP, I'd try again to try and change my last name. Figure out what legal hoops need to be jumped through and wash this whole greedy, selfish, self-centred, manipulative family from me.

[@boxbox5371]

Just found out I start back college tomorrow and not next week😭 you've uploaded in time I need this ❤

[@kevinmcknight5486]

I’m glad you’ve added a warning for those who might be triggered by miscarriages but I don’t think throwing it up in bold, screen wide font is the soft warning you were hoping for it to be. Great vid though! Good narration.

[@robertcohen1888]

The only thing I would’ve done differently than OP in this is that when the grandfather asked why the great-granddaughter has a different last name than their family name, I would’ve said I was so devastated and hurt by the actions of my family that I needed to distance myself and my new family from them. That is why she has a different last name. It would’ve said the same thing as I want nothing to do with those arse holes but he didn’t need to be vicious to the grandfather that is unless the grandfather was vicious and condescending to him.

[@terramarini6880]

I'm wondering if there was an inference from Gpop that he would want names changed back to his family name in exchange for inheritance. Would explain OPs reaction.

[@martinrusev3502]

OMFG! What the hell did I just hear?! Seriously? OP was absolutely right to cut all contact with those people. Dear god, their toxicity is over the normal levels. I hope they choke on those money. Greedy bastards!

[@carolroberts4614]

Perhaps he'll leave it to charity now, if he's mad with the family too! That would be good.

[@TarisLuna]

It's always either money, body parts (organs, seed, egg, uterus and what not) or the grandchildren in those stories.

[@svgamer7160]

IMO, Grandpa isn't a bad person but he grew up in a different time and his wealth got to him. He did some bad things but OP's old family are something else.

[@jakeand9020]

I'm a little confused. He said the grandfather said "he was disappointed in that my daughter had not taken the family name" And this set OP off? I just don't get it. No discussion about it, no argument nothing, OP just goes off on him like that? Seriously, he must have left something out right? Did the grandfather demand he change her name? Did he even otherwise insult the name? Anything? Without that information OP just sounds like he's still a petulant child throwing a fit for absolutely no reason.

[@DrunkenDemon]

@@jakeand9020 sounds legit, i be mad, too. Another unwanted Addition to the pile of bs, besides dealing with major grief. Gramps could have chosen to just be kind but chose to add a bit bs. ( he didnt know, but that is actually besides the point) Without additional infomation, you sound ice cold.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

​@jakeand9020 considering what he went through, makes sense he'd be mad. G-pa probably insisted.

[@crowdemon_archives]

@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 it could be an accidental trigger too, tbf.

[@ComaLies225]

I can never understand families who are never supportive of each other. I could understand if maybe OP was toxic, criminal or deserving of being a black sheep but over a sport really gives me some Narc vibes

[@idkman290]

Yall need to stop diagonsing people.Unless you arent someone in that field please refrain from saying this

[@dtownblastinsalvi62]

I really really respect OP for trying to take his wife’s last name that’s truly a loving husband

[@antares8476]

"They never neglected me, but were never there emotionally" the literal description of emotional neglect.

[@WolfyFancyLads]

The aunt sounds pretty cool. Also, archery isn't a whimpy sport, it's just not a very physical one. You know how hard it is to properly fire a bow? It's a very technical thing. Grip, aim, arc, string tension, weather conditions. It's an archaic skill, but a pretty neat one. But I gotta say, bloody good punch from OP to knock someone out! Maybe they should've took up boxing. XD

[@TsukiKageTora]

16:04 What subreddit actually makes a karma limit rule and deletes a post because of it? Sounds ridiculous

[@animeandanimals]

Its crazy how alot of the "wimpy" sports actually take incredible amounts of practice, control, and strength

[@brigzbee2303]

Re-downloading temple run after probably 4 years of not playing it. Thank you Mark for giving me something to listen to while I'm sick

[@eamonsaunderson9959]

i listen to this now at this part 4:42. the family are connecting him now, because they need something. Probably organs, blood or sperm.

[@WardNightstone]

Story 1 ROTFLMFAO omg your parents and brother disowned you, lied to your other family about it, and you can do NOTHING and screw them all over OOOH YESSS!

[@theundone777]

Anyone that uses their will/inheritance as a weapon to control other people is a manipulative person. I wouldn't want any sort of relationship with someone who does that.

[@grapestheoriginal]

I don't know, I sort of think maybe OPs response to grandpa was an overreaction depending on how grandpa said it. If his last name was the family name, I think it would be natural for him to be disappointed that his grandchildren don't have his name. Unless he was rude or inappropriate, it was harsh to treat an old man that way. I do disagree with responders about forgiveness as well. You don't have to forget or associate with people who wrong you, but forgiveness is cleansing for your soul. That way you aren't walking around with all that negativity inside you.

[@xenomorph6807]

Grandpa dissowned his own daughter for being bisexual...tells you everything you need to know about him...op was 100% in the right not to bow for the money!

[@grapestheoriginal]

@@xenomorph6807 well, it seems like maybe he regretted his past decisions and was trying to make things better. He and the aunt were talking at least. I would still go the way of forgiveness whenever possible.

[@xenomorph6807]

@@grapestheoriginal well we cant know if he actually reached out to his daughter to make amends there too, but considering op said hes a religious nutcase i HIGHLY doubt it. and i still think op did the right thing by blowing up at the old guy cause he was being extremely inconsiderate by mentioning the family name thing. im not exactly smart but it took me 2 seconds to realize as to why op woudnt want his daughter to have the name of his abusive famili, and grandpa had YEARS to realize it. also the way op said it makes me suspect that grandpas tone wasnt exactly apologetic or sorry.

[@BusArch42]

He made no attempt to verify the crock story that he was fed and cut off OP for eight years without checking facts. He deserved to be called out. Teh Apple didn’t fall far from the tree

[@grapestheoriginal]

@@BusArch42 well, #1 people change. #2 if we all always got what we deserve, we would all be in trouble.

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: "I was never neglected" and proceedes to write how much he was neglected ... kinda sad that OP seems to assume that much is normal I just hope karma will hit that family hard Update: it is not that the grandfather "could not be there", he CHOOSE not to be there, he CHOOSE not to ask for ops side yep OP seems to be the ONLY good person coming out of that family but I think OP should've reacted differently towards the "disappointment" of the grandfather, maybe something along the lines of pointing out how disgusting the family is and why should his daughter get the name assoziated with such disgusting people

[@davidjacobi3522]

Scapegoated child will always be scapegoat. Reconnecting with such a family could mean they want you for their emotional comfort outlet - aka to be scapegoated again. Why x-mas that’s also understandable. All family will be there to emotionally blackmail you to do what they want if you feel uncomfortable with their interactions. Such pressure is hard to withstand as most normal people will try to be polite. We all make sacrifices means you are the one to be sacrificed… Do not ever put yourself in such position again. Pick a safe place for yourself like cafe, restaurant, etc. with clear escape plan. If they pressure you there, you have escape plan already…

[@deebee4930]

There is absolutely no excuse for parents who don't accept their children for their individuality. It doesn't matter if you understand their interests or not - you just put in a little effort and support them. I can't believe those parents who not only ignored one of their four children, but lied and got their other children to lie in order to justify ostracizing him to the rest of the family. I say God Bless the caring aunt who unconditionally cared for him. Foo on the grandfather who joined the family in turning their backs on a 15 yr old child and not understanding why the family last name meant nothing to OP. Not to mention the example grandpa set in his cruel treatment of his own daughter. I hope OP ignores the bunch of them.

[@KertaDrake]

Considering the attitude of that family and the fact that there are lawyers in it, the inheritance is probably not worth the trouble. They will probably do anything in their power to turn it into a legal mess that would cost a ton of money if you're the only one in the will.

[@Josku2411]

Oop early and currently drawing my deep voiced big and shockingly buff bard and also occasionally switching to draw my witcher for a moment

[@stephaniewilson3955]

I did wonder whether is was money or organs they wanted. Grandpa is probably still in shock to be called out. If he is a good man he will appreciate your spirit. Given the family he raised, he will probably give his money to his precious church.

[@rmhartman]

yeah, I had expected this 180 to be because of an inheritance issue.

[@hibikiverney4146]

Family: archery is wimpy Op: is the deadliest member of the family*

[@leighnisbett9691]

S1, it sounds like they have heard that you have a daughter and now want back in your life.Your family members disowned you by sending you away and they pressed charges on you because of your golden twin cheating with your first girlfriend .Your Aunt and Uncle are also not considered members of your family ,but as you stated earlier you don't want to contact your parents and siblings again .NTA please protect your now family members from these toxic people.

[@azizcalva-navarro6170]

When people want someone they kicked out and have made no effort for reconciliation back years later is because of one of a few things; 1. They want a lot of money from them, 2. a place to stay without paying rent, 3. want to preserve their status & view of themselves, 4. want to get back on somebody's will, or 5. need an organ from them.

[@tellmesomething2412]

Dude must've went ballistic on his brother.

[@WhiteScarsEmo]

My question is how much damage could that family do to OP from the outside? Yeah, they're lawyers and all that, but they can't compel OP to play nice just to keep their names in Granddad's will. Harassment, maybe. Some PIs peeking into the trash, following them around.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

OP should have invited his family to partake in some ‘archery dodge ball’ with him behind the bow and seen who the real wimps were! Lol!

[@Cjaj2]

*Op plays the coolest possible contemporary sport* their family: that's wimpy

[@kimahlback9700]

Christmas should be spent with people you love and care about. Reconciliation can be done any other time of the year

[@jmac5951]

Sounds like the rotten apples didn't fall far from the tree, excepting OP, who rolled away.

[@browniewin4121]

Shame on your family for discounting your interest and not treating you the same as your siblings, and for the disloyalty of your brother and then GF. It's good you had an aunt and uncle on your side and have been doing well. I'm thinking under a less stressful time to get together would be good, and you should stay with your pregnant wife and inlaws for Xmas. After update: Oh dear, so sorry for the loss of your baby. It's good your aunt could answer your question as to why you family suddenly wanted you to back in their life. It's nice your grandfather apologized to you, but unfortunate he still is stuck in his old ways and that you couldn't at least have a positive relationship with him going forward. Best wishes to you and your own family.

[@Roxestar]

They disowned him for punching his brother ONE time. Sided with a cheater who slept with his TWIN brother's girlfriend. They all needed therapy. You don't disown your child unless they're completely un-helpable. Also, I'm probably on the outs with most, but I say go. Give yourself a chance to see them in real life, ask them why they disowned you, and see for yourself what their real intentions were. If nothing else, you'll get an answer for how you want to handle them in the future. You won't be left wondering.

[@pauldavisjr.3284]

That first op should realize that his "family" aren't really on his side. They were going to try to have you tried as an adult like you were some stranger or an enemy. And what for someone who betrayed you and broked your heart. Nah dude freak them all of em!

[@ReturnToNothingness32147]

OP you did the right thing. If they don’t love you back then, they won’t love you now and if they did there is a reason behind it. I amglad you found out why🙏🏽

[@jerriewyatt905]

OP’s so much better off without these toxic people in his and his family’s lives..

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@jennstewart3003]

I think OP may have overkilled on grandpa. He should have explained to grandpa why he didn't choose the name rather than just unloaded. OP may have just worded it poorly, but I would have said "The family had never done anything FOR me why should continue the family name to HELP the name."

[@kohanstraven1550]

Why would they be disappointed that he will give his children their mother's family name, did they forget that THEY disowned him?

[@crowdemon_archives]

WIthout context, you can also be disappointed by the fact that the family wronged someone so hard they decided to drop the family name for sanity sake. 😅

[@BNezzy]

How can someone say their family never neglected them but also in the same sentence say their family was never there emotionally for them? I don't think they know what neglect means.

[@ioannageor180]

Story 1 : op says he was never neglected and then proceeds to the very defining description of neglect

[@andreap9869]

Usually when family reaches out it comes down to about 2 things, money or organ donation.

[@damien678]

oh, yeah, OP is such a wimp but could KING HIT his footballer bro LMFAOOOO 💀

[@smorphous8928]

It’s sickening how they don’t really care about Op, they just needed him back in their lives so they get something in return, like the grandfathers inheritance, they will realize sooner or later money doesn’t fix everything.

[@catharsismemory]

Parents are never suppose to have favorite, they're suppose to love all their children equally.

[@kazzuo32]

#1 yes you should, I hate when people do others wrong and expects no repercussions.

[@rmhartman]

I hope grandpa is the kind that can respect the honesty of op, and will put him in the will anyway.

[@jgw5491]

Actually I think that OP could have calmly explained that the name thing was something he and his wife decided between themselves and OP is sorry that grandfather is "disappointed", but it was OP's family's choice. IF grandfather had accepted that, reconciliation could have gone forward. If Grandpa pushed back, it was time to go nuclear and shut the door. An opinion given *once* is an opinion, but using money to change their decision is toxic. 🤑

[@sweetpea6814]

Hey Mark, just wanted to let you know you're the best Reddit narrator out there so I'm finally going to subscribe, Lol...Love your channel and always wake up to it b4 work.

[@dorotheawalker7985]

As much as I am sad being alone in this world yet the more I listen to these stories I got to say glad I am alone.🤣🤣🤣

[@carolroberts4614]

I know what you mean,there are many times when I was married to my ex, many years ago, that I would have given anything to be alone!

[@patrickhandley627]

Don't do it. They didn't want you when you needed them, betrayed your heart and then cast you off on another part of the family that was also discarded. You moved on made something of yourself and made a life for yourself. Spend Christmas with the family you made. You don't need to reconnect with the people who got rid of you, and drug your name through the mud, for money.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark.

[@hilarymurray8741]

First story : There must be a reason why your parents and siblings want to reconnect after so long. They want something. I would find out what this is first before you meet them. (Money,? a kidney?) Either way, it is unlikely they want to reconnect for your benefit. Might be better to give it a pass, as there will be other invitations if they really want something. Good for your wife and child to be out of the way for a physical visit, as it could get dramatic. Really admire the archery skills btw. NTA

[@jonathanbrown7250]

"How dare you not give your kids the last name of the people I agree acted dishonestly and disgusting to you!"

[@KE-hr4sb]

They want something. Usually, it's money, organs, or access to grandchildren. Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

[@carolroberts4614]

I forgot money!

[@jacksparrowismydaddy]

wow that dude's spine is so shiny you can see it from space

[@SH-qs7ee]

Wait they didn't support OP's interest in archery because it was 'wimpy'? Yeah, because that's what I think when I see Rambo with his compound bow; "What a wimp!". Dude is literally learning to use one of the deadliest weapons in history while his family were standing around playing with their balls.