Family Thinks I'm Wrong For Telling Daughter To Cook Own Food If She Won't Eat Mine r/Relationships

[@queencars802]

NTA, shes 16 not 6. If she doesn't like how you cook it and isnt willing to help you figure out how she likes it then too bad. You arent starving her shes just being a brat

[@annem7806]

PB&J w/ a side of STFU

[@johndoekinnie9467]

Completely agree with you! Being only 3 years older than her, I've struggled all my life with an ED that on the surface makes it seem like I'm a picky eater, but I genuinely get terribly sick eating something new or trying to eat a bigger quantity of what I already eat. I cook my own foods, but at times, I'll try new foods and/or try getting myself used to certain foods that are common in the household. It's not that hard to either cook for yourself or talk about why you don't like something particularly about the food.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Starving means “no food” not “food I don’t like”. Is she just watching too much kitchen nightmares? This is an insult to actually starving people.

[@aishalee5924]

I think in story 2 he did all the opposite things because his mother told him to. “If she REALLY loved you she would appreciate ANY way you propose and ANY ring no matter who small or ugly would be gratifying- if she complains that means she never loved your perfect self in the first place “ I’m telling you all, FMIL set her up for failure 😨

[@Mandage90]

I was thinking this all the way through and when he said that she’s a gold digger just like his mum said I was like BOOM. THERE IT is!! Mummy knows best (until confronted then cries)

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Story 2: Oh. He’s a misogynist. Who could have guessed. 😂 Oh damn. Her spine is made of steel.

[@BruinPhD2009]

A nice shiny spine is a beautiful thing, more beautiful than all the engagement rings in the world. 😊

[@badkitty4922]

@@BruinPhD2009 Absolutely!👍👍

[@imajinallthepurple]

@@BruinPhD2009 Very well said. 😎👍

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 the ring is the least of OP's concerns. She told him what she wanted and was willing to pay for it and he literally did the opposite. Commenters hypothesized this was on purpose, and have to agree. How could anyone eff up this bad?? This proposal took zero effort and the ring was all wrong. Don't marry this man. He literally doesn't value you at all.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

True, but if what happened in the update hadn't occurred, my advice to OP was to drag out the engagement as long as possible until other red flags showed up. That way she can get out of the relationship without giving ex an opportunity to smear her character (which is more likely to happen considering the MIL thought OP was "ungrateful" for not liking the ring). I know there were other red flags prior to this incident, but getting called a gold digger is one of those things that can affect future dating prospects, no?

[@RJLiams]

Seems like the ring was a major part of OP's concerns. Which kind of highlights just how propagandized diamond rings have become. That for some reason the size of a ring is indicitive of how much someone loves you. So many people in the comments, including OP herself, fell for that propaganda hook, line, and sinker.

[@johnpauljones9310]

That story is written in a male's voice.... you've been played.

[@chippydippy1530]

@@RJLiams Its not propaganda to like something a specific way. It's not the ring, it's the implications of him doing the exact opposite of what she wanted down to the location. I dont give a damn about rings but if my partner did the exact opposite of what I wanted I would absolutely be pissed. Did you not pay attention?

[@robertx8020]

@@RJLiams You missed the part where OP was willing to pay for the ring HERSELF? Are you saying that you should have NO expectations on how ppl should propose?

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

I feel like Erin got off too easy with being able to kinda just shrug and say that nothing was wrong with her mum's food, she just liked Kim's cooking better. OP deserved a better apology from everyone.

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah. Erin's behavior overall was just *bad.*

[@risasouma2558]

I've heard this story on a different channel. There's a missing part in the update. Apparently the reason why the ex got angry, was because Erin's story to him made OP look worse than what actually happened.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

@@risasouma2558 With that in mind, then doubly so that OP deserves a better apology than the one she got from everyone, especially Erin. Kids who lie on their parents/caretakers to get their way are awful.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Not only that she then insulted kim’s food as “not that special” lol

[@Bala_Niranna]

Eh, she was being a bit of a bratty teen, it's normal for teenagers. It's really not a big enough deal to get hung up on, she learned her lesson and apologized, it's whatever

[@low-keydrama1260]

Story 2 Before the update: It gives that vibe from another story where another poster was proposed with an ugly ring. She accepted it and tried to take it in stride. Everyone told her it was an ugly ring and she should talk to him about it. That poster does in an update and the guy was over the moon and was like "FINALLY!". If I remember correctly, he was cheating on that poster and got her an ugly ring so that she would get upset and he could use it as an excuse to dump her. He was basically trying to make himself a cheater look good while he made that poster look like the greedy gold digging villain. This story gives me that vibe Post Story 2 Update: Yeah if it wasn't the ring, it was his mother. How scary that OP's ex jumped the gun. He was too lazy, too stubborn and too immature to try for OP. HE made this situation for himself. I fear for any future partner he ends up dating. Thank goodness OP dumped him.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Yes! I remember that story too! Society has made "the wrong engagement ring" a muddy red flag. To explain, a muddy red flag is a red flag that can be used to make YOU look like the toxic partner instead of the one whose ACTUALLY being toxic. Seriously, even romcoms use ring rejection as a sign that a romantic interest isn't "the one".

[@christinesinclair6938]

I was thinking about that story too! Yeah, the mommy makes it a bullet dodged.

[@atinyevil1383]

I don't think I heard that story, but I do agree with the sentiment. I don't think people should be shamed for not liking something expensive when they've expressed previously they don't like that thing. The other person has now dropped a shit ton of money on something they KNOW the recipient doesn't like and just expects them to be cool with it because it was expensive. It's actually really selfish.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

@@christinesinclair6938 I wouldn't blame OP if she spread the word that ex's mother was the main reason OP and ex didn't work out. At this point, it's probably the only way ex will learn to not let his mother meddle in his relationships too much. If the community talks about MIL's controlling nature among themselves, that will put pressure on her to lighten up, otherwise her son won't marry.

[@andysheepleton]

A friend of mine got engaged to a girl who was unhappy with the ring and wanted a specific ring that cost quite a bit more. She was also very specific about all kinds of things surrounding the wedding really early. He got the ring back and never gave her another one. Best decision he ever made. That GF was horrible. OP was in a bit of a different situation because cash value wasn't at the root of it, but she still gives me the vibe of someone who her fiance would never be able to make happy. Maybe MIL was sabotaging for a reason. I'm probably biased because of the specific situation that I am aware of that was similar. That guy went on to marry a girl who was not as much of a raving beauty (the picky one was model material), but who was much more down to earth and appreciative. So good ending for him.

[@AndyyWithAY]

That special occasion thing was right. Kim doesn't always cook like that. I'm glad the daughter learned a valuable lesson and is learning about cooking and might pursue this as a career in the future.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: "Your expectations are too high!" My brother in christ, _you're_ the one who set the expectations.

[@helixxia9320]

Exactly. basically lying or implying he will do something amazing to get her excited. only to (purposefully?) dissappoint her. just odd

[@hannahbass8458]

Story 2: it's not just about the price of things, it's about being considerate of your spouses feelings and interests. She openly told him about all of her interests and her dream proposal, and it feels like he did everything in his power to avoid all that. And she's made to feel guilty, because she's upset he can't even show the bare minimum amount of care.

[@RJLiams]

Seems like the price of things as she actively called out the price of the ring. Another case of this propaganda that a $100,000 ring is the only way to show how much you love someone.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@RJLiams Seems more about not being involved in picking out or designing the ring. That the ring wasn't her style. The price bit was more about his own reaction to her rejecting it.

[@Bob28415]

@@RJLiams It was pretty clearly not the price of the ring. He hyped up a Christmas engagement, then proposed to her on their couch with a ring that was tailored to be everything she told him she didn't want in their numerous discussions about getting engaged. Dude either wanted to break up with her being the bad guy, or was running up the score on some stupid games in some dumbass test of her love.

[@RJLiams]

@@Bob28415 Yet not a single mention of the ring size or price in your description. The price of the ring absolutely mattered to her.

[@RJLiams]

@@brigidtheirish Except she was complaining about the ring well before rejecting it in front of him.

[@aconvowithcrissee222]

Story 2 doesn't sound materialistic at all tbh. Shes COMMUNICATED and he just disregarded her entirely damn near doing the opposite, like honestly it sounds damn near deliberate or that he couldn't care to get it right. The proposal is also very unserious when she said she was extravagant and romance driven, don't settle girl

[@RJLiams]

There absolutely is a bit of materialism there. With the complaining about the ring size and price. Especially with that angry rant at the end about how cheap the ring is. Hell the title alone just screams materialistic.

[@terramarini6880]

@@RJLiams He went from romantic proposal in a magical Christmas fairyland to "here's a ring" while in sweats on the couch...Yeah, no. The proposal she wanted would have been free and probably would have softened her view on the ring. After that lack luster proposal the ring was just a reminder of how little effort he actually put in. If money was the issue it was because he didn't want to spend money or time on her. It's not the cost but the thought that went into it. In this case, no thought whatsoever, he cheaped out on even putting the bare minimum into any of it. My husband took me to see the ring he was looking at (it was lovely, he had good taste in jewelry) but too big for my line of work, I picked something I could wear every day even though it was 1/3 the price, and I still wear it.

[@aconvowithcrissee222]

@@terramarini6880 exactly she clearly communicated and was very accomadting even willing to put HER OWN MONEY aside for a bigger ring like it was certainly the lack of consideration, ignoring of her requests and honestly just be lazy that was her issue

[@RJLiams]

@@terramarini6880 " It's not the cost but the thought that went into it." Yet she hyper focused on the cost. Lack luster proposal is fine, but it's clear the size and price of the ring was a major problem. I mean the title of the story puts a much heavier emphasis on the ring itself. Nothing talking about the propose or him being lazy. If the cost of the ring didn't matter than why complain about? Why title it like that? What insult it based on the price alone at the end?

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

@@RJLiams - Also I feel like her offer to contribute was a Catch 22. I guarantee if he'd actually asked to contribute she'd still be on Reddit whining, in an "I offered to help pay for my expensive engagement ring and Fiancée is expecting me to actually do it" sort of way.

[@tinkrtailr]

When I was little, I used to refuse the food my dad made and went to bed hungry. But I have sensory issues with my tastebuds, making me hypersensitive to basically every flavor.

[@JaAvii3456]

man, that must have sucked... And How do you manage that situation?

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: Good for OP. I'm glad she realized what a jerk her now-ex is and dumped him instead of marrying him. Known too many women who wasted too many years married to douche-canoes like him.

[@k3upikachu]

Oooof that last one.. I had a boyfriend who told me my expectations were too high when I would ask him to text me in the morning and before bed when we were doing long distance, to come with me sometimes instead of staying at parties until 4 am, etc. He said, no guy's ever going to be able to give you what you need because your expectations are ridiculous. I knew they weren't, but I was basically addicted to him at that point and didn't see the light until we fought so much that we had to break up. My next boyfriend didn't even have to try to meet my expectations; they just came naturally to him bc they're normal relationship things we should expect of our partners. That relationship didn't work out, but I have a partner now who makes me happier than I've ever been and I'm so glad that I didn't believe my ex when he told me I'd never get everything I wanted from a man. Don't settle for men doing less than the bare minimum!!

[@k3upikachu]

Also, op is so lucky that she got a female cop

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

Yeah if your first ex ever git a serious gf I'd be surprised. If you had asked him to text you whenever he had free time during the day or every hour that would be different. But you only asked for once in the morning and once in the evening.

[@Tamara-ju3lh]

I'm not a big texter but in the morning and night isn't asking too much. I mainly get annoyed when work gets busy or I'm running errands and people get mad that I didn't stop to text them.

[@AndyyWithAY]

16 is plenty old enough to cook for yourself. Moms are people too. I'd be pissed too if my child constantly complained about the food I slaved over. It's not "starving" her. The food is made and she can cook what she wants. NTA

[@neil999ish]

I was cooking family breakfasts (sunday's) and (occasionaly) not too complicated dinners at 8 years. I like cooking and my mum appreciated the occasional night off it.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@neil999ish Good for you! I'm sure now you're a very skilled chef. Do you cook often for family and friends?

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: She's old enough to turn her nose up at home cooking AND she's old enough to cook for herself?! I'd be throwing a "the chef has retired" party!

[@Tammohawk1]

1. OP isn't starving her child. But her refusing to eat tells me something is going on. But at age 16, she can cook for herself. I was cooking full meals by that age and so were my sons. When I was growing up, if we didn't eat what was on our plate, we went hungry. My sons have an eating disorder, I ended up cooking two meals most night because husband and I got tired of plain food. 2. A .20 carat ring? He paid $700 for it? Why bother? Seriously, why bother with a diamond that small? Talk about a fiasco. She's glad to be rid of him. Glad they didn't have kids.

[@RJLiams]

So love is only based on the monitary value of the diamond ring?

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Not just ring. The proposal as well. But they're just the tip of the iceberg. They both discussed it. *It was planned, and he botched it because "women aren't allowed to choose their engagement ring" and that going to that place was "too expensive" when it was free.* He deserves to be with his mother since he cried to her, instead of owning up to his f*ck up. Though owning up to it may not have saved that relationship in the long run because his mother is so... *Ugh.* :/

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 1: I'm still annoyed because when OP gave the freedom to cook, no interest. But when Kim does it, it's cool? I'm sending OP patience while adjusting to the shiny new parent being the cool one. If Erin was really serious about cooking then she could have been doing it at both houses, improving her craft. Instead she chose to be difficult. Glad Kim was mature about this, at least.

[@emileeharmon4403]

Story 1: In my house growing up once we learned to cook if we didn't like what was for dinner we could cook something ourselves. I was lucky to in that my parents wouldn't cook meals that other people wouldn't eat or if that was done something else was made too.

[@eowyn8340]

Story 2: I don’t think OP was immature at all in the update. The whole time I was thinking “you go girl!” That mother/son duo were a couple of bullies.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Proposed in sweatpants lol. Called her gold digger when she offered to pay for the ring. Women don’t get to pick a ring they have to wear forever? He ain’t marriage material.

[@samurailevi49]

Just passed a kidney stone in the hospital and am dealing with another. These videos are a blessing to take my mind off the excruciating pain. Thank you Mark. ❤️

[@damien678]

GL man

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I'm so sorry

[@samurailevi49]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 Thank you :) It’s just very painful.

[@samurailevi49]

@@damien678 Thanks mate

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@samurailevi49 I wish you a speedy recovery good luck I send all the recovery speed 💜💜🤗🤗

[@sinakirainine1719]

Story 2: My fiance proposed to me after I almost threw up in the bathroom of a motel (bad sushi lol). We were alone and were on our first trip together. The ring wasnt a diamond and its just a simple band. How is this different from OPs crappy ex fiance? It was everything I could ever ask for (besides the sushi lol). I have bad social anxiety and I get really nervous in serious situations. He remembered I hate diamonds and prefer colorful stones and simple bands. It was completely perfect and I could never ask for a better proposal. What Im trying to say is that its not the value of the ring or where OPs ex proposed at thats the problem. Its the blatant disregard for OPs wishes and feelings thats the issue. She even bloody offered to pay for part of the ring too! He had no reason to call her a gold digger. I'm so upset for OP but I'm also very glad OP got out of that toxic situation Have a waffle day!

[@GLoLChibs]

Story 1- NTA. Entitled brat is a brat. She's telling her mom she doesn't like her food all of a sudden because of Kim's cooking. Her dad is the 'cool parent' right now because of making up time most likely. Atm Erin is being a doughnut and taking OP for granted.

[@Darth_Nycta_13]

Story 1 NTA I started properly cooking when I was about her age and a decade later I can cook reasonably well. I'm not a master of it but I am sufficiently skilled enough to get by. Erin sounds spoiled and OP isn't starving her she's starving herself then crying to her friends and daddy because again she's spoiled.

[@desireeloveros1055]

"starving her?" She's 16! She's literally refusing to eat. Cooking is a basic life skill and if she doesn't want to eat her cooking anymore she can make her own food

[@WolfyFancyLads]

"Women aren't allowed to decide what the ring looks like." There's LITERALLY a thing called "ring shopping". WHICH YOU DO AS COUPLES! Oh my giddy aunt, that man is dying alone.

[@johnpauljones9310]

At 16, she's more than capable of cooking her own damn food.

[@GanishTig]

I love your narrations. I have you playing all night as I find your delivery relaxing. Regarding story 1 - I started making some of my own meals when I was 8 as I started getting picky (long story involving a bullying teacher). My mom was a professional cook and was happy to supervise my efforts & even though I appreciate now my not eating the food she lovingly prepared probably upset her, she never discouraged me. Being able to cook for males & females is an essential life-skill. If daughter wants different food to what is being offered, then she can do it herself.

[@MrBuns-yi2hk]

Story 2. Sounds like she is with the wrong guy tbh.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "You're StArViNg her!!1!" She's _16._ I've been cooking my own food by myself since I was 12 and started cooking in general when I was 9 or 10. She's not a _baby,_ she's a _brat._

[@JordanDragonAs]

Same

[@hicknopunk]

Right? By 12 I could cook the family a proper breakfast.

[@sandracox4341]

Exactly. My single mom worked to provide for us. I would cook my own meals at 9. Nothing difficult, but I could cook myself a grilled cheese sandwich and heat up some soup or scramble eggs.

[@robertx8020]

And even IF she was 12 ..there was plenty of food and it is not 'starving' if you CHOOSE not to eat it! Reddit can be so stupid

[@itsjustme7487]

My mom had to go to work full-time because daddy was a drunk wouldn't work or do "women's " work do I started cooking family meals M-F when I was 12.

[@donnalothes7085]

You go girl. Good for you to get out of that mess.

[@luke_at_my_art]

I'm not done with the first story but I feel like Erin is like "I never eat at my mom's place because she refuses to let me eat :(" because of all the "YOU'RE STARVIBG HER COMMENTS" Hhhh poor op Update: okay, but where the apologies for OP? She needs it and the comment that said weekends/holidays, the food would be more extravagant, hit the nail on the head Erin is kinda spoiled but will hopefully learn to appreciate OP's cooking

[@fhuber7507]

Engagement ring story... I proposed by asking her to go look for rings... You don't have to have the ring in hand and it's too easy to get a ring she doesn't like if she doesn't help pick it.

[@strange4202]

Story one: I

[@maurer3d]

Blending families isn't that hard, when everyone shows respect to each-other, everyone's needs are met, there is no favoritism and there was no infidelity. Sadly a good portion of blended families are the result of cheating and those are the ones who tend to get posted online.

[@catcando1131]

I worked at a smoothie shop for most of my 30s. The first story makes me think of this one kid I worked with. His parents kicked him out after a party where he got into some trouble. Everyone else hated him, thought he was lazy, etc because he did next to nothing. One night, when he was sweeping, I asked him if he even knew how to sleep. Kid broke down crying saying he did not. He also confessed to not knowing how to cook as well. Poor kid came from a very wealthy family and his parents felt that learning how to actually live was not important. I spent the next few months teaching him how to properly clean, how to cook simple dishes, how to read recipes, how to manage his money, etc. He eventually quit and I ran into him a few years later. He was with his wife and their daughter (he met her while she was pregnant and he stepped up to the plate). He gave me the biggest hug and when the wife asked if I was the woman, she hugged me even longer. He thanked me for taking the time out of my life to teach him things he should have already known without making him feel like a fool. She thanked me for helping him to become the man she loves. I told them both that I did what a parent should always be willing to do and no thanks are needed. Instead, raise this girl and all future children with the same strength and determination that he showed when I was helping him learn how to adult and not to forget to love them. I have not seen them again so I can only hope that they are indeed raising their children well. ❤️❤️❤️

[@BerryTrekkin]

Story 2: guessing the ring was a test by MIL to “prove” that OP is a gold digger. Glad she found this out before committing to marriage and children. Shame there’s a shared house but hopefully that will go through quickly so that they can go their separate ways asap.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Yeah that is possible. It's why my advice to brides is to just accept the ring for now and wait for a more socially accepted red flag to show up if you feel you need to leave the relationship. The only time a woman isn't hated for rejecting a ring is when she learns the BF proposed to an ex using the same ring!!!

[@AndyyWithAY]

I heard Story 2 before and it is a DOOZY! Took a turn for sure.

[@topazblu6209]

Story 1: Ditto on the commenter about parents telling kids to start cooking their own if they don't like what's in front of them. Me and my siblings had that phase growing up. My brother took over for our mom in the cooking department so she would have one less thing to worry about. When me or my sister would try, he would watch from afar and immediately take over when things start going south. We're way better now than way back then and even my nephew has gotten into cooking. His specialty is Japanese cuisine and he shared a new dish with everyone for 6-days straight. Mom was being nice in suggesting the daughter cook for herself (some moms don't like anyone other than them cooking in the kitchen) and it's ashame no one in the family, from what was shared, asked for clarification on the situation.

[@neil999ish]

That was my mum's reaction when my brother "didn't" like what she cooked, he didn't like cooking and soon swallowed his "pride" and started eating her cooking again. Lol.

[@nightbane2889]

Last story, initial words made me think 'Well this sounds like OP is perhaps too high strung and/or materilistic'. But it kept going and became so abundantly clear even before the update that it wasn't the ring itself, it was what the ring was representing. So glad OP broke it off.

[@IReadTooMuchCrap]

Oof that ring story. Engagement rings are such a tricky thing because, on the one hand, you might look like a gold digger if you ask for a nicer one. But if you are cheap and easy, you might end up with a spouse who is selfish and maybe even financially abusive. It appears to be a delicate tightrope between making sure you are getting a spouse who is committed, but not appearing greedy.

[@cheskydivision]

16 is more then old enough to cook for themselves if not even cook for the family once in awhile. I more then not at least started dinner for my parents since I was 13 because I got home a couple of hours before my parents most days.

[@candypettynettie487]

Erin is a brat and she's not starving. She's just excited about being around her fun parent and his gf.

[@ashleighberryman9280]

For that first story. Literally myself and all my peers bragged about what we cooked. This was in Highschool. My mom was GLAD to buy me almost whatever groceries I needed if it meant I’d cook for myself. Me and most of my peers were cooking since we were A. Tall enough to reach stove and sink, B. Old enough to read cooking instructions, C. More than likely didn’t like our parents cooking either….🤷🏾‍♀️. The girl was just plan lazy and will likely be one of those people that ONKY eats meals from pre-prepared food delivery…..which I use from time to time as well lol.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Someone is a selfish gold digger, but they OFFERED to put money towards their engagement ring. Sure Jan. Then that you don't get to have a say in the proposal or ring. It would've been a wrap for me.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Don't forget that she, also, offered a place that was *free* to go to for the proposal. *Oh, yes! That's a gold-digger, alright!* Some people in the comment section just showed their ignorance and deemed OP as greedy, ungrateful and a gold-digger. *Someone who offered to pay for the ring and a place that's free to visit.* Sheesh. 🙄

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 1: the dad and parents saying the daughter being starved; sounds like she’s been saying it as an excuse to go over to her dad’s. The rule in my house growing up; if we didn’t like what was served, we cook ourselves

[@zachf748]

14:49 Spot on comment. So many bad signs that show OP is settling for this loser… She deserves so much better than this guy. (1) This should be one of the happiest moments of your life so far. (2) you should be thrilled to tell your engagement story, not embarrassed. (3) you absolutely love your ring and get a huge smile every time you look at it. (4) you should be thrilled to show your ring off, not embarrassed. (5) you should be counting down the days because you cannot wait to marry your fiancé. You should not be questioning whether the ring and proposal were purposely so bad that you’re debating whether or not your fiancé did it on purpose to get you to breakup with him. You should not be looking at that ring and dreading actually marrying him because he is either (a) so inconsiderate and uncaring that he didn’t listen to any of your input into his proposal, or (b) he did listen to your input, he just decided to ignore it all and put his mothers wishes / input above his fiancé’s. Either way, please do not marry this man. You deserve so, so, so much better.

[@alymay6849]

Erin was sorry only because she got called out on the internet lol

[@theresaf1529]

Hey Mark , I don’t have anything to say about the stories , but I smile every time I hear you say HOLY MOLY 😂😘

[@threeducks157]

Times have really changed lol, right now she just get told off for telling mom basically "your food sucks", If i pulled that little stunt i would be having "la chancla" for dinner lol.

[@GLoLChibs]

I would've been having pierogi upside the head for dinner.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

*Oh, God no! Not the "chancla"!* 😭

[@clarrie93]

I relate with the ring story lol My then-fiance (now husband) picked the engagement ring because my family chiseled me that engagement ring is a gift, so why am I trying to choose it myself lol But I told him that I want to choose our wedding ring because it's a ring that I would be wearing myself. A few months before our wedding, the topic of the ring came out and he told me that he had bought the ring when he went ring shopping for the engagement ring Ngl, I was pissed af and was even considering telling him to sell off the ring so that we can pick one together Then I asked him to show me the ring he bought and I was pacified a lot because I absolutely love it hahahaha so the issue was dropped there lol But yeahhh.. if he had gone against my wishes, and bought me something I don't even like, I would've almost definitely told him to sell it back and we can get something together

[@RJLiams]

Notice how the price and size was never mentioned in your story. I honestly think OP put way too much emphasis on that.

[@VergilTheLegendaryDarkSlayer]

Story 1 NTA She doesn't want what you give, so she can cook what she wants

[@MorbidKat]

I'm cooking Chinese for my family right now and it's messy, tedious, and takes awhile. Luckily, my family loves. Its a house favorite. But if one day they suddenly didn't want it I'd be upset (more sad than mad though, food is my love language). Op definitely wasn't the AH but how they eneded up handling it was perfect coparenting examples. Last story- I'm not at the end of it but I think the ex did all of that on purpose to cause a break up. We've heard an update like that before were it was intentional.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

It was. Because he refused to listen to her wants in regards to the ring and the proposal. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 2: If OP has homeowner's insurance and she wants to get rid of the house quick then perhaps arson would be the route she'd like to travel. It's kind of strange how many of Mark's stories would have happier endings if the OPs would just burn the correct house down already! You don't like that your significant other's family member/members have been living in your home and stomping all over your boundaries, no house no problem. If your boyfriend is a manchild who cheats on you and financially abuses you to cover all of his fancy toys, then burn down his place with all the things he loves more than you inside. I can't believe there aren't more mysterious house fires in this day and age!

[@jaybea365]

Okay, food stories. I have some thoughts on this, both from growing up a kid in the 80's(if I didn't like what I was served, I went to bed hungry), and from being a professional Chef(Yeah mon and Dad may have been cooking for 50 years, but I can school them in the kitchen, and they *know* it). OP is not starving their child, and I like the fact that Step-mom is being herself, trying to impress step-daughter(which I both understand and support), rather then trying to undermine mom.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Story 1: NTA. I think every 16 year old should start learning how to cook, even if it's sandwiches and soup. It's worrisome how many people don't know how to cook and feed themselves. I'm glad OP and Kim are working together to address the situation, and that Erin's realized all the tricks that go into restaurant cuisine vs homemade cuisine.

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Story 2: I'm the more laid back clinger, I proposed to him multiple times until he picked up the vibes I was laying down. We went to a jewelry store together and found something in our budget that works. Communication is key in relationships

[@yvonnepalmquist8676]

The entire issue was communication. But wrap it around a proposal and reddit is going to pick their sides.

[@plazmapple6326]

Women are not allowed to be nervous, but men are? Wtf. That is an exact 180 from the world as I experience it.

[@soulreaper1981]

Me and my wife's wedding rings cost 500 each lol

[@0INFERNO1]

When I was a kid, we didn't get the option of making something else. We ate what everyone ate and if we didn't, we went hungry. NTA

[@sesslover]

16 years old is plenty old enough to cook themselves. I started cooking when I was old enough to look over the stove (supervised of course). By the time I was 16 I was the one cooking dinner so my parents could rest.

[@sandracox4341]

16 is more than old enough to cook. My son was experimenting in the kitchen making his own recipes at that age.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: NTA. "You can't keep starving her." You're not, she's refusing to eat the food that you are making for her; therefore she is starving herself. You tried to make her things she would like, she complained. You tried making her old favorites, she complained. Tell your parents they're welcome to cook for her and see how that pans out for them. You're not her personal chef. She doesn't like what you make, there is pb and j in the pantry, she's welcome to make herself a sandwich. You're also a lot more accommodating than my parents were, lol. If I didn't eat what my mom cooked, she'd save it for me for breakfast the next morning. If I skipped breakfast (alternatives were not allowed), she'd save it for me for lunch, until we ate it or it went bad. If it went bad, we were punished for wasting food, and she'd make the same thing. ETA: I love how respectful and grown-up the solutions were! Kim sounds like a great addition to the family. S2: My vote on this one shocks me, because usually when someone complains about their ring I'm an automatic YTA; however...NTA. You asked for ONE thing (a nice ring), even offered to chip in/help design it, and not only did he ignore both of those requests, he took everything you said you did NOT want, and bought that. I get wanting it to be a surprise, but to me it feels like he purposely did not take your tastes into consideration, out of spite for some reason or another.

[@ambercloud]

Marks comment about extravagant food with Story 1 jumps out at me. As a teen, I had a cousin who would often stay during the school holidays and when he visited we would get McDonald's as a treat. We never had it except when he visited, he went home saying it was great at ours coz we always have McDonald's. So can see how that situation could be happening

[@nuttmare9438]

Story 2; OP, We'll never meet but know this. I actually clapped 👏 at how you dealt with this in your last comment and bowled at my phone, ie: you. Well done! It can only get better for you now. All the best x

[@BritInvLvr]

The last story was so good, I had to listen to it twice.

[@stellamccoy5259]

NTA. When my son was 16 he started complaining about how I dried certain shirts of his. I said fine you can do your own laundry. And he did with no complaints.

[@GBunnyG]

1: GOOD GOD I can't wait until the picky 6 year old dictator in my house can cook his own damn food. 2. Sometimes, waking up and choosing violence is the BAMF way to do it.

[@ashleypowers4177]

Story 2: She knew what was going to happen and walked right into it. I don't understand drama or lying. She didn't want to marry him anymore. She should of just told him and be done with it. Instead she wanted to sit down with him and have some cutsey talk. How hard is it to just be like "nope".

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, she was fine with your cooking till her dad moved back. She is old enough to cook for herself if she doesn't like your cooking anymore. Story 2: NAH, there isn't enough info to make a call. A 0.2 Diamond ring goes for $800 to $1600 (on average), so if he makes minimum wage it is an acceptable ring (according to traditional cost/income rules). Story 2 update: ESH, you for being a spoiled brat, and him for being a mamma's boy. An engagement ring is the choice of the one asking and yes the recipient's likes should be taken into consideration (as long as it is in the budget). OP still didn't mention how much her EX made so I have a feeling they both make minimum wage.

[@bonniebaldridge1248]

Boy, that engagement ring story was a doozy!! LOL! Sheeesh!!

[@dlpacres4718]

Whomever sees this, I pray you are healthy and happy. And for those who celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope y'all get to do so with friends and family at the same table this year. For those who do not, I hope you still get to take advantage of the time off to be with friends and family. For those who cannot be with either at this time, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you all! Last story: OP you dodged a bullet! So happy you found out what aPOS your ex is BEFORE you got married and/or brought children into the mix and tied yourself to him for the rest of your life.

[@opal5138]

God bless you (:

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 2: ah, OP's almost-MIL sure raised a "nice guy". With mummy telling him OP didn't deserve such a catch as him I'm sure he'll find true love soon enough! /s

[@monedameow]

That last story was bonkers!

[@christinesinclair6938]

Story 1: The 16 y o is an entitled *brat.* This is how you deal with this. My grandma would often make food my mother's youngest brother wouldn't eat so he had the option to get cereal from the cupboard instead. My mom said he ended up eating cereal a lot.

[@disneydork100]

“Just you wait, Im gonna propose around Christmas, with all the lights! Its going to be magical!” *proceeds to propose inside, in the morning* What an asshole.

[@deadhead8323]

Story 1: NTA Your daughter knows how to cook and she refuses to eat whatever you make even though you are trying to make other meals she's known to like. Now your family is saying you are starving her. Tell them that she's starving herself by not eating the meals you make that's her fault.

[@RebaMedia]

Story 2: I knew immediately that this guy had this misogynistic machoism about the engagement and how "a man is suppose to pay for and pick the ring and proposal". She's been clear and communicative about what she wanted multiple times and how she'd like to contribute. It 1000% bruised this AH ego and felt like he was being "emasculated" because she was offering to also help pay for it bc "men are the breadwinners" 🙄. Definitely had his mother whispering in his ear about how HE should be deciding that kind of thing and he got fed up and did the laziest shit possible to show "I make the decisions and you need to shut up and accept it" and the second she complained he'd pull the "gold digger" card to shut her down to be subservient and so he can act like he's not in the wrong/being selfish. So gross.

[@Swnsasy]

This story I heard but just stopped to still give my love to Marky Mark!! 🤗🤗❤️❤️

[@lsmmoore1]

Story 2: This really sounds like a good argument for it to be more socially acceptable in general for women to do the proposing sometimes. If that were the case, the trash would have taken itself out a lot earlier (if it was still there) and it would make sense considering she's the one with the blowout proposal ideas and the willingness to pay for the needed bells and whistles.

[@Mewse1203]

Be kind, be safe and take care of yourself. Have a great day

[@a.b.2850]

She’s 16! My kids were taught very young to NEVER comment negatively about the food someone cared enough for them took his time to make for them. They were and are allowed to say “it’s not my favourite” but never that it’s disgusting or bad.

[@peteranon8455]

Story 2. Her boyfriend is completely the AH in this story, but any girl who demands a bigger ring is setting the tone that "it will never be enough" for the entire marriage. OP needs a different man with money.

[@beeppboopp]

First story: My mother is a terrible cook. Genuinely awful. I appreciate her effort, and she tries, but she is honestly just not super talented in the cooking department. (think, white woman who's never seen seasoning before and thinks pepper is spicy 😅) But, I just cook for myself. It's fun, and I enjoy it, and I don't have to deal with her food. Like. I don't yell at her or get mad, I just cook my own food. I'm not gonna demand she changes lol

[@shells500tutubo]

My next door neighbor's mother was NOT a good cook. All I knew was that Mr. Jones always cooked for the kids, but I didn't know why. This was in the 1950s when all women were SAHMs. She would occasionally try her hand, but her biscuits could be used for hockey pucks and her fried chicken- a prayer should have been said for the poor chicken having to die a second death. And these were Southern Black families we're talking about.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

@@shells500tutubo I enjoyed reading your comment. Poor biscuits. Poor chicken. 😆

[@missmax2492]

I despise saltfish and when my mom made it when I was little, I would have the rest of the food with butter or something but when I got older, I just,,,, made myself something else.

[@frst78]

My daughter's new husband did something similar with a ring. She want anything BUT a diamond. Especially a big diamond. She wanted an antique ring, or a vintage cut emerald, or even an opal. Had links and pics and examples for days. Told him to consult me before picking anything out. (Her words). He had me coordinate the proposal location since it was local and he was not but did not consult me about a ring. He got her a skating rink for her finger. She was not happy but is pretending to be. He gets his way on everything we've discovered. He's got the worst case of only child syndrome I've ever seen and has since isolated her from her entire family and convinced her we're not good enough for them. We've never said a negative word about him to her or him, and always helped them both out in every way possible so that was hurtful. Her friends are even flabbergasted and have pretty much adopted us as bonus parents now so that's nice. Just not the same tho. Toxic men will always ruin a family.

[@KCCAT5]

My mother said if I didn't like the food that she cooked for me then I can go hungry.

[@itsjustme7487]

Story 1... Even a 4 yr old can pour cereal into a bowl or make a PB&J sandwich. IMHO. Erin can take over the cooking or just make her own meals. She wants to live with Daddy and Kim. The grass looks greener and all that stuff.

[@LillyianPuppy]

$20 $20 says the ex listens to alpha-bro podcast. The way he acted like giving his girlfriend a happy and loving engagement would be like sacrificing his power to a feeeemale. Good for her. Ew.

[@FlamesofJagger]

Happy holidays Waaafffllleee Gaaannnnggggg!!! Stay safe and positive. May your holidays be merry!

[@onyxdragon1179]

NTA. She's a 16 year old girl who should already know how to cook simple dishes. And OP isn't starving her, her daughter is starving herself! Seems reasonable that if she refuses to eat anything OP cooks then OP should just stop cooking for her; less time spent in the kitchen, less food being wasted! Edit after update: So none of the people who called OP an asshole didn't apologize, what a surprise

[@marylouramirez6520]

Story 1: Mark, I was in the same boat as you. My mom & dad and SIX kids! No way was there room to do a specialty dish for one person who didn't like what she made (while we were all watching LOL, story for another time). My Dad was a Joan Crawford/Mommie Dearest type, you were made to sit at the table until you ate what was served. My Mom would say "If you don't like what I made, then you are not really hungry, and you don't have to eat." Kids today are coddled way too much and this 16 y/o is an only child, with only child syndrome.

[@badkitty4922]

I got super lucky with my hubs. He wanted me to have an engagement ring that I liked and would enjoy wearing. This was in the early 2000s and although there was a design I REALLY liked by one of the major jewelry stores, there were things that I was uncomfortable with. The center stone stood too high so, reaching into a front jeans pocket would either hurt my finger or, get caught in the material of whatever pocket I'd put my hand into, it was a beautiful pressure set Princess cut diamond but, the setting was too thin and one wrong move would pop the diamond out and it would be lost. After voicing my concerns he took me to the area of Philadelphia called Jeweller's Row where we found an amazing guy who knew exactly what I meant and agreed with my concerns, so I explained how I actually wanted the ring made, lowering the height and strengthening the center stone. I even got to use his loupe to pick the quality of the center diamond. I didn't go super expensive super perfect stone but, you'd need a loupe to see the flaw. Same with the small channel set stones that ran under the main central stone. Everything was agreed upon, chosen, and paid for right there. I didn't know it but hubs went to the jeweller and increased the Carat (size) of the middle stone. Then when he went to pick it up the jeweller told him that he increased the sizes/Carats of the smaller channel set diamonds that ran under the center stone free of charge, because it looked much better with the increase in size of the center stone that hubs did without my knowledge. I say I got lucky not because of the Carats and quality of diamonds in my ring but, he took me to multiple jewelry stores and then we found someone who could modify the design I really liked. THAT mattered way more than the size of the diamonds. The jeweller really gave me warm fuzzies when he told me that my changes to the chain jewelry store's design not only made my ring custom but, one of a kind because no-one else would've thought to redesign the ring to be stronger and easier to go through day to day life without worrying about bending the setting or losing any of the stones. I LOVE my ring, it's perfect! Hubs didn't have to increase the center stone size, I was happy with the Carat I picked. The awesome jeweller didn't HAVE to increase the Carats of the channel set stones to better accompany the change in the center stone for FREE. I love my husband and we've shopped at that jeweller ever since, even if it's just a simple pair of earrings or bracelet. Everything is great quality at reasonable prices. MIL gets great birthstone gifts because his Aquamarine stones are amazing, lol! She's definitely worth it! Sorry to babble! Much Love!😘💖🐾🐾👍

[@Amna613]

Story 2: Starts with "My fiance is the greatest" and update ends with "Yeah..... we broke up over the ring". OP must have ignored so many red flags upto that point that the EX said, "F It, Ill just do the minimum and call her gold digger if she brings it up". Good for OP for escaping before marriage.

[@selinesbeau]

From grade 8 or so on I refused to eat my mom's school lunches so she told me to make my own. I was just a really picky eater. I could handle soups, sandwiches etc. Or I would just take leftovers from dinner.

[@eileen58]

I learned the hard way that if a partner keeps messing up your proposal or ring, he doesn’t really want to marry you. It sucks, but that’s the reality.

[@minisnakali]

Story 1: NTA Obviously NTA, I almost laughed myself to death, as if a 16 year old is incapapble of cooking for themselves. I've been making my own food since I was 7, I'm a picky eater and I havw foods I won't eat, so I make myself meals I can eat its ridiculous to act like OP is starving their kid.

[@Darth_Nycta_13]

Story 2 so ex was a misogynistic mommy's boi and his mother would have been the MIL from hell. OP verbally slapping him down was great and standing up for herself against the pair of them in the update was brilliant. OP was willing to help with everything in the proposal, including money, but ex's ego and pride tinge with sexism basically made him say "nah you'll accept what you're given by me because I am man". That's some deep toxic masculinity and misogynistic attitude there. OP deserves someone who will give her the dream proposal or one that exceeds her expectations but allows her to be involved even if ultimately it's still a surprise.

[@Daug555]

The last story was hilarious! I damn near was sent to orbit when she hit her arm and she spit in her eye 😂😂😂!

[@casket.case99959]

Story 1. I started cooking when I was 12. But that's was a if my parents wasn't home kinda thing. As for when my parents cooked, If I didn eat what my parents cooked I didn eat at all. There wasn't goin to be no they cook and eat and I cook something else and ate. If I was hungry enough I'd eat what they made period. Story 2. My ex mother in law put her hands on me and I beat the dog shit out of her. She never come at me side ways again after that. She knew I wasn't goin to put up with anything less than respectfully. We get along even better now that I'm not with her son. Lol .

[@cheeriomartinez]

That last story had me fucking clapping at the end lol.