Family Wants To Borrow Our Car For Their Vacation

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[@cheershiii965]

If I can't afford to give something, I won't lend it. My friend was mad I didn't lend her my $3000 camera for her trip. That week all her stuff got stolen cause she decided to take a nap on a crowded bus in a tourist area... I'm so glad I stuck to my principles. I'd rather be 'rude' than resentful🤷🏻‍♀️

[@RadiUzunova]

I rented my Nikon to a few friends. Eastern Europe here. So sad for your life, americans

[@TeresaS-q7x]

@@RadiUzunova what makes you think cheersilli is American? And as for lending your stuff, thankfully this $3000 camera wasn't lent seeing as everything was stolen.

[@cheershiii965]

@@RadiUzunova I'm european, so was my friend🤡🤡 Are you arguing theft doesn't exist here???? What a strange thing to say. All your comments are weirdly obsessive about bashing the US. You created an imaginary problem by making a wild assumption about my nationality. Very weird behavior honestly🤔

[@LadyCaroline123]

You were not being rude. You were being practical and responsible. Your friend was the rude one. Did she ever say to you it was a good thing you didn’t lend her the camera? I would guess not.

[@thepcal9654]

That’s a good policy not to lend what you couldn’t or wouldn’t give.

[@yinyangyikes]

People who hate/take issue with your boundaries are the same people who benefit from you not having any.

[@christie4336]

Holy Cow! That is the Truth!

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Yes. And they do Not care about the people they Bully...

[@arthurcutaiar9994]

That right there is truth.

[@wwilliams4743]

Wow, you nailed it. That's quotable.

[@yourfavnurseb9699]

If they can’t afford a rental car for a few weeks they can’t afford any maintenance or accidents that may happen. He was right.

[@christinebutler7630]

If they can't afford a car of their own, much less a rental, they have no business taking a vacation.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

And what if they get in an accident, and turn around and Sue the car owners, their friends

[@Josh.1234]

If my brother asked me to borrow my car for a few weeks.. it wouldn't even be a question much less call quasi financial planners

[@mylesgray3470]

@@christinebutler7630 And you just identified why these people are broke to begin with. Messed up priorities.

[@michaelmaysjr.3228]

I absolutely agree....

[@asavannah7439]

Don’t ever let anyone blackmail you into doing something you don’t want. It’s their loss

[@samyeomans6710]

My grandfather was a pastor in a church from the early 90s until 2017 and a single poorer lady’s car broke down. He lent her his other car for a couple of weeks until she could fix hers and when she used all the fuel in the tank, she brought it back to my grandfather and asked him to refuel it. That’s when he decided to not loan people his car any more.

[@Lauren-vd4qe]

cheesy but at least she didnt put a dent in it or drive across country with in and refuse to come back!

[@MillieonaVespa]

Very very cheeky! ..

[@diamondjim7560]

That is the definition of entitlement. Rough also that men and women of the cloth are expected to be overtly generous to their own detriment. That is why good people of the congregation (this entitled woman isn’t one of them) need to protect their own Shepard from the wolves within the flock.

[@jrey1]

​@@Lauren-vd4qestill disrespectful either way. The audacity of that woman to ask for a fill up when I'm sure she had no problem filling up her own vehicle when it was running

[@wk6247]

I borrowed a church member's car while mine was getting repaired. Returned it with full tank of gas (and some cash as a thank you).

[@erinc9672]

“Almost every boundary comes with a cost” I love that, I’m going to need to remember that!

[@PInk77W1]

Don’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm

[@techsunbreakrooms5920]

And NOT having a boundary comes with a BIGGER cost.

[@marciray9204]

Friends of ours wanted to go on vacation to Colorado and asked to borrow our Suburban. I just couldn’t believe they expected something like that from us. It was awkward but I spoke up right away and said “no” it wouldn’t work out because we actually needed it for our own family and couldn’t go without it for over a week. What is wrong people?…I would never in a million years ask someone if I could use their personal vehicle unless it was some sort of dire emergency.

[@Lauren-vd4qe]

they are BEYOND cheeky!!

[@charlesquinn7622]

They didn't "expect," they asked you. Hopefully, you didn't take offense that they asked, but it sounds like you did. You have options of how you respond.

[@AngieLyke]

Depends upon the circumstances. We had two cars. The second car was given to us as a gift when a family member bought a new car. They went down to 1 car after they retired. We told them whenever they needed that car it was theirs to use. And one time their car started having problems so they borrowed our car. Complications happened. Week by week. It ended up taking 4 weeks for the dealer to figure it out. . Twice we needed it for a doctor's appointment. We got it back for a day. And our family member was apologetic not entitled. When they returned the car it had a full tank of gas. And they bought us an electric lawn mower as a thank you for it taking so long. We protested. But they told us that we save them a lot of money on car rental when it was never expected to be for a month. Through the years they helped us we've helped them. So I have no problem loaning the second car to them.

[@Lauren-vd4qe]

@@AngieLyke bc theyre quality people unlike others.

[@Jamie-h5b]

@@AngieLyke Several years ago, we asked to borrow my father-in-law's pickup truck for two weeks. It was not his primary vehicle, but we appreciated it so much that before we returned it, we replaced his broken bumper, changed the oil, filled the gas tank, and gave the whole truck a good wash and wax. He was so happy that he said any time we needed to borrow it again to just ask. Happily, we never needed to borrow it again, but THAT's how you treat expensive property that someone generously lets you borrow. Return it on time and in better condition than when you borrowed it. Your family members sound a lot like us :)

[@mickrobinson8150]

I had something similar, They never spoke to us again. We never missed them.

[@tanyawins]

I had a neighbor do me like that. She figured I was a stay at home mom, so I didn’t need my car since I wasn’t going anywhere when my husband was at work, with a new baby. She would ask to drive my car to work. I went for it a little bit but felt real uncomfortable bc the vehicle is in my name, my insurance, my responsibility. I had to tell her she can’t keep driving it bc of liability. She stopped talking to me.

[@poolmilethirty2859]

The best outcome was when she stopped talking to you. No one needs a conditional friend

[@lovethemflowers]

Perfect! She stopped talking to you, so she won't be for any more favors.

[@thetaekwondoe3887]

Did she really think you didn't need to run errands and such? SAHMs who are fortunate enough to have their own car (I understand some families don't have an extra because of having 1 income that might not support that) don't stay at home ALL DAY.

[@AmyBethB]

Problem solved.

[@amyturner6804]

@@thetaekwondoe3887not to mention what if there was an emergency and said borrower had the car? That just doesn’t sound safe when home alone with a newborn!

[@maggiew6200]

Most people hate boundaries!!! Family & neighbors & as soon as you say NO they get pissed!

[@angelbulldog4934]

That's a THEM problem. I do have boundaries and they're firmly enforced.

[@leonab545]

and it’s usually the ppl who hate your boundaries are the ones who have no issue ignoring your needs and wishes, while expecting you to live by their suffocating rules

[@emersonwest8]

When you say NO a person will show you who they truly are .

[@megana2345]

They should fly to another family member and borrowed their car to drive to you. Perfect you set boundaries!! Congrats on the new baby Greg.

[@bw5911]

That’s exactly what I was gonna say.

[@gabyszabo9615]

“Give them a path back.” That is so mature: humbling.

[@SheLoveSports]

Greg dodged a bullet. He doesn't need this type of family visiting while they have a newborn. They would be an extra burden on them

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

It's awful of them!

[@BonaKim-hd8ec]

Relatives like that are selfish and entitled. Direct them to Google for hotels, restaurants and car rentals.

[@erikmarchese4290]

Job applications to cover the shortfall

[@JohnnyNerski]

GUARANTY THEY ARE DEMOCRATS.

[@truthseeker6370]

Clearly the parents aren't actually interested in spending time with their daughter and actually help her post-partum. Very sad and predatory. Remove the vehicle from the equation... and they suddenly "Don't want to visit" at all. That's heartbreaking.

[@MyLifeThai371]

My Grandpa's buddy used to always say if I lend my stuff to other people, then I am resentful. If I don't lend my stuff, then the other person is resentful. He said I would rather have other people be resentful than me be resentful. My peace of mind comes first in my life!

[@herbiehusker1889]

I lent our teenager's car to a neighbor and good friend who's only car broke down and be needed a car to get to work. It was supposed to be a week but ended up being a month and a half. It came back with a full tank of gas, a fresh oil change, detail and a wash and wax. Looked better than ever. I'm not opposed to loaning people and extra car, but you have to be smart about it. And I offered, he didn't ask. I wouldn't loan mu car to these people in this circumstance.

[@nickmagma7745]

You had us in the first half 😅 what a great neighbor

[@keithbellair9508]

Should have already been washed and waxed if you people wasnt so damn lazy and cheap

[@arribaficationwineho32]

Great neighbor! And you were a good friend

[@jeretso]

I testdrove my buddy's hybrid while they were away on vacation. Washed it plus I am a safer driver than him lol. 50 MPG vs my current 20MPG was amazing.

[@keithbellair9508]

@ wow you save a whole dollar

[@tangyjoe4326]

I haven’t even watched the video yet and I’m screaming HELL NO!

[@fire12731]

Me too!!!!😊

[@girlygirl1890]

LOL!!!🤣🤣😂😂 (I agree).

[@Cucumberflavoredmustard]

Hard no. There is a big difference between someone borrowing my beater truck to move a couch for a couple hours, and my regular car for a whole road trip. Get a rental car, dude. If they can't afford a rental, they also can't afford my deductible if they crack mine up.

[@richardfisher4638]

AMEN!!!!!

[@AmyBethB]

You can take a hit for the beater truck too.

[@christinebutler7630]

They also can't afford a vacation. Work some overtime instead of taking time off, then they can get their own damn car

[@JustinCase780]

So goofy...Yea, let them use your car. John's being a jerk.

[@Cucumberflavoredmustard]

@@AmyBethB Beater truck has taken plenty of hits. That's why it's a beater. I don't care about another dent.

[@jt9058]

No way. That’s so unfair for family to even ask that!!!

[@bridgetsmith3732]

But they will ask…. I seen it over & over

[@KimSmith-b9v]

I don't understand how they have the nerve to ask. OK if it is for emergency but like this is a big 😮

[@lhv569]

I've given up forced socializing with extended family that I don't like, anyway. Playing nice for appearances is no longer in my toolbox, even after others try to shame me. A quiet exit is all that is required.

[@Bob-ub4gl]

​@@lhv569I'm walking away from my younger sister, a "daddy's little girl," her whole life...

[@drchristineobrien9704]

My son in law wasn’t comfortable with me using his car while I was there so he offered to pay for a rental.❤ Ultimately I paid for my own but I thought that was a kind offer. And we get along. Great since we both love my daughter! And now he has a soft spot in my heart as well 😊

[@Andrew-it7fb]

​@midtiersavagehow? They paid for their own rental.

[@kevinwang2723]

art of respectation for each other.

[@kevinwang2723]

​@Andrew-it7fb the inlaw offered to solve the problem out of his own pocket, it's not his responsibility. yes, they end up paying their own rental, but they were given the option, just that they understood and decided not to take the advantage of another person.

[@Andrew-it7fb]

@@kevinwang2723 The comment I was replying to was deleted. They were acting like something wrong was done.

[@gwenj5419]

@@drchristineobrien9704 Because you are obviously a reasonable person, not a user.

[@Ja50nkAt]

If someone borrows my car I assume they're going to bring it back and something will be wrong with it and I'm stuck with the bill, so it's a hard no.

[@daveblackman816]

Another example of how family just love taking advantage of you and using you.

[@healthwithmarcus]

People think everyone is operating from the same definition of love. We are not. Define it. Some people's definition is CLEARLY: Let me do whatever.

[@conservativelens]

Exactly

[@hazegrayprepper4396]

Tell me about it! I have a sister in law and her boyfriend who are fiscally irresponsible and can not only handle their own money, but they expect the rest of the family to fund them due to their poor decisions. The worst part is that they use their 1 year old son as emotional leverage to get what they want. On top of that, the in-law's BF is an uungrateful, inconsiderate and lazy turd who is more useless than Aquaman. Thanksgiving is gonna be interesting, considering he voted for Harris because he feels that others' tax money should fund his laziness.

[@EsiriE]

@@healthwithmarcus👏🏾👏🏾

[@cassandrahuete5973]

I worked in medical billing for personal injury cases (90% of which are auto accidents) do not let anyone guilt you into lending your car

[@andreachilton6037]

I'm currently in the middle of my CPC certification course... Good to know there are a lot of doors open

[@fire12731]

Good to know Cassandra

[@Tap354]

Good point, don’t feel bad, its also a liability issue

[@jeretso]

I lent my car and they hit someone. My car owner's insurance is responsible. It was a pain. I took away the keys. They take the bus now haha.

[@9liveslisa]

Oh hell no! I would never loan my car to anyone for their vacation. That's crazy! They shouldn't be taking vacations if they don't have the money for it. That's the reality of the situation.

[@sonicmoj1]

Amen

[@Kroh13]

@@sonicmoj1it’s not a prayer

[@reese85]

You guys in these are weird! Lending a family member your car for a rd trip is normal

[@AmyBethB]

To anyone for any reason.

[@adingko7759]

@@reese85what? So, if they get into an accident, you are liable for that… so no way

[@jasonrodgers9063]

I can't IMAGINE myself even ASKING such!

[@ohplezz]

I know what you mean. I would be embarrassed to ask something like that of anyone.

[@actuallyterry]

Some people don't have shame.

[@leonab545]

Exactly. It’s the ones who are decent with everyone and wouldn’t want to inconvenience anyone, who get guilt tripped for absurd favors.

[@xoxo-vp7ww]

@actuallyterry: isn’t that the truth!! And it’s such a gift for them because they go around doing whatever without any self awareness, lol.

[@JoshuaTrinityWolf-dc4up]

Last year we have 3 neighbors that wanted rides to 4 different grocery stores. They would not use UBBER because they might get in an accident. They wouldn't use home delivery services, they refused to take the taxi or city bus. I called my insurance company and they said that I better not take a penny or a coffee from these 3 ladies or we become a taxi with insurance. Also, they said it is a home policy NOT a school bus policy and that once we run out of coverage they can sue us for our home and money. The rides stopped that day !!

[@maryannanderson2213]

I don't understand the brass of people who would not only ask you for a ride to the grocery store but would ask that you take them to more than one store, presumably looking for the best prices. When you say they refuse to use Uber or a taxi or a city bus and even refuse a home delivery service, it sounds to me like someone needs to impress upon them the idea that beggars can't be choosers. If they don't have a car or are unable to drive, they just might have to put aside their preferences and go with what is available and I don't think it should be you. I am an old woman (I'm pushing 80), almost totally disabled, and I live alone, and I do not ask my neighbors for rides ANYWHERE. I get my groceries through Shipt. I select my groceries online and an employee of Shipt actually does the shopping and delivers the groceries to my home and will even bring the bags into my kitchen. I have even had them offer to put my groceries away for me but I refuse this offer because I tell them if I don't put the things away I probably would have trouble finding everything when I needed it. Maybe you could suggest that they use that service. I have used Shipt for probably five years and I am very pleased with them.

[@JoshuaTrinityWolf-dc4up]

@@maryannanderson2213 I told them that the liability is too much .These are users that people call narcissists. I have always been independent like you Mary. Your parents must be proud of the values they taught you. I am 65 and this has made me pay more attention to the intentions of takers in society.

[@billmelater6470]

Yeah, I don't think I would have helped them if that was the case. The moment it becomes and errand service and especially if repeated, the answer is "no" because you can see they plan to use you. It wouldn't even be about the gas money.

[@andrewsherman2398]

If you would actually tell your insurance company that they paid for the ride in any way then you're too honest you don't have to tell your insurance company about every little thing that you do with the vehicle that you pay to insure if you give someone a ride and they pay you for the gas or your time or trouble in any way that's between you and them keep your insurance company out of it

[@genxx2724]

@@andrewsherman2398 Agreed. Insurance companies are in the business of collecting our premiums, and then weaseling out of paying. Why would you give them anything to hang their hat on?

[@toddmacdowall4924]

Why would they expect to put all the miles on your car as opposed to a rental car? Some families just don’t get it.!

[@lovethemflowers]

@toddmacdowall4924 -- Crazy that relatives would ask to borrow someone car for two weeks driving around Texas, of all states.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Because they are self- centered to the Max

[@roseother8306]

I was the single family member who was always expected to leave my home and conveniences, pay the plane fare to be together for the holidays - and sat idle often because families are busy. I made less money, but they never bought plane tickets to visit me - they saved their money for Disney trips and skiing vacations - the least they could have done was loan a car occasionally during the week. Looking back, I can't believe I gave up my holidays for all of those years - with so much idle time - who is the inconsiderate party? Consider both sides!

[@dawnt5587]

No way. My husband is meticulous with our vehicles. Nobody drives them but us. People are slobs and careless.

[@leonab545]

Yep! I once had lended my car to a woman I babystat for. Seemed reasonable since I borrowed her car when I need to pickup her kids from school. She took her kids to a soccer game. I saw my car the next day. It was trashed! This woman never taught her kids to clean up after themselves and she also did be,I’ve that it was her responsibility to be responsible for her kids messes.she actually taught them the opposite - just leave, the cleaning lady is coming tomorrow. I was so pissed about having to clean up after someone who disrespected my property, me and my time, and I couldn’t say anything if I wanted to keep my position. It was an exploitive act on her part.That was before I learned that she was a narcissist who would score highly NPD if ever she took the test. I wasn’t the only one she was abusive towards / crossed boundaries of.

[@genxx2724]

@@leonab545 Why would you feel beholden from using HER car to pick HER kids up from school while you were WORKING for HER? It was all for her benefit, not yours. You drove her car, you didn’t “borrow” her car. A example of borrowing her car would be if you asked to use it during time that you were not working, like taking it for the weekend to go visit your family. She had a lot of nerve asking to borrow the babysitter‘s car. I have a friend who worked as a nanny for wealthy people, including some low-level celebrities who acted like they were top celebrities. She went to the homes of top celebrities, interacted with them and their domestic help, and saw the difference. In short, the top celebrities treated their nannies with respect and generosity. The wannabes were rude and demanding. I think they felt inferior, and abusing her made them feel important. Some of the wealthy people she worked for were not as wealthy as they thought they were. She interacted with other nannies at the park, school, and in the homes for play dates, and saw that their employers provided things that hers didn’t. She drove a relatively new Mercedes. That was a mistake. The employers would have her use her car to drive their kids around because they were comfortable with it. Other employers provided a car for the nannies to use. If she drove a junker, they wouldn’t have wanted her children riding in that car, and they would have provided a car. Other employers provided their nannies with a credit card. My friend was never provided with a credit card. Just the opposite. She would use her own money for the children’s needs and then have to struggle to get reimbursed. She told me of one situation where she took the child to water safety class (they called it “swimming lessons”) and there was a past due balance on the account. She was embarrassed, so she put it on her own credit card. You would think the parents would have been embarrassed and immediately reimbursed her, but they didn’t. What followed was several months of uncomfortable reminding and wrangling with so-called business managers to get reimbursed. They acted like she was imposing on them by calling. She had to either call on her own time when she wasn’t working, which likely wasn’t during business hours, so that wouldn’t work; or while the kids were napping, so she couldn’t do anything else or get a little bit of rest. When she took the kids places, she would have to get them meals and snacks. These people would never reimburse her promptly and in full. I told her to pack lunches and snacks for when they were out, or asked the housekeeper to do it, so that she wouldn’t buy them anything, she could just say no, like we all heard from our parents when we were growing up. She wouldn’t stick to it because it was awkward if they had a play date and the other nannies were getting ice cream or something for the kids. Then at the other extreme were the nannies who had credit cards and cars provided by the employers, and they took the kids to SeaWorld and Legoland, staying in a hotel overnight. They had the autonomy to just do that. They were at the park with the kids, came up with the idea, and just took them the next day. There were some Saudi royals who didn’t pay her for the care provided during one of their trips here. She never told them directly that she wasn’t paid, she only dealt with the secretaries and business managers, who gave her the runaround and blew her off.She was always too afraid to ruffle anyone’s feathers and didn’t want to run the risk of their not hiring her again. Unfortunately, these people who have domestic help will treat you badly unless you stop them. My friend was single and alone in this country, so she had no back-up. I think it was the nannies who were married, or who lived with family or had boyfriends supporting them or sharing expenses, who were more assertive and were treated and paid better.

[@MathiasJarlson]

Not to mention the insurance issues. If they get in a wreck, it’s on YOUR insurance. Not the borrower’s

[@bobmcdoggish9659]

You can notify your insurance company what you are doing and they can put a temporary driver on your policy. That doesn't remove all of the liability from your lap, but some liability will be assumed by the relative.

[@ohplezz]

That depends on the state sometimes it’s the driver, regardless of who the owner of the vehicle is.

[@HelloWorld-hb7yt]

Insurance not gonna cover your guests.

[@traveler320ak7]

Correct and the insurance premiums would go up after the wreck.

[@anacabrera2809]

I had a co worker who borrowed her only car (a costly one) to a neighbor to see a relative. There was a really bad downpour and the water reached the car, got inside (leather seats) eventhough it was parked far from the road. She had a full cover but the insurance company gave her a hard time, didn't want to respond, saying "the motor was still working", she even had to rent a car to go to work. When they finally responded, she got herself a lesser priced car. I had an uncle that would always say, there are two things you don't borrow: your car and your wife.

[@joyfulmama28]

This makes me sad. My mom flew to the US from Ireland just to cook and clean and mind my toddler when I had my second baby. She would come no matter what!

[@MackenzieKanis]

Did you make her rent a car after flying in? I'm genuinely curious. We always let family use our car and when we go to our families they always let us use there's. If they didn't we wouldn't come cause it adds a lot to have to pay for a car rental.

[@christie4336]

Yes! My Mom came and cooked and cleaned all day. We had 3 mos of meals in the freezer when she left. If you go to see a baby you should expect to Work not to be Entertained.

[@joyfulmama28]

@@MackenzieKanis I would if it were local but not to go on a long haul roadtrip. She wouldn’t ask. She’d rent one.

[@TP-xy2ms]

I am a person who set boundaries. If a friend says he or she doesn’t want to talk to me. I am done immediately. I don’t kiss ass. There is way more people in my life that love me and if a person says they don’t, okay, thanks for the memories. Good bye.

[@CountryboyBOB]

My brother and I run into this all the time we own a working cattle ranch and we are constantly bothered with friends or acquaintances asking to hunt fish ride atvs or camp on the property. We have learned over the years it’s best to say no human nature is to take advantage of these type of situations and abuse the privilege. We found that when folks were allowed access to our ranch they acted like they had some say so in how it was run even to the point of interference in our cattle operations. Lesson learned to say NO to everyone.

[@iii9266]

Oh hell no... another reason my insurance is low is that I notated that I am the ONLY driver, not my wife, not my children (as they grew up), not the neighbor, no one.

[@VictoriaInamorati1]

I'm surprised you were able to do this. My insurance automatically added my husband and elderly mother on my policy because they assumed all licensed adults in the household had access. They wouldn't let me change anything until after my husband passed away and after my mother ended up in a nursing home temporarily.

[@tristan2332]

​​@@VictoriaInamorati1 You should have been able to have made him an excluded driver on the policy. Some will do this.

[@BusArch42]

Make sure you cover that your wife is excluded. Any person over age 14 has to either be covered or excluded. There was a big mess in California because a guy was in an accident and insurance refused coverage. They used the excuse he didn’t exclude his 14 year old daughter on the policy. She wasn’t even in the car during the accident and she didn’t know how to drive! He was hit by an uninsured driver.

[@iii9266]

@BusArch42 Wife has her own truck with the same exclusions and if we go somewhere together, I drive mine.

[@BusArch42]

@@iii9266 not driving is not going to cover things. You have to list her as excluded but living there. Google national general insurance and claims refused in California. They use it as a loophole to not cover you

[@VS-fo9py]

Absolutely not! For all the reason discussed! And why do so many people put so much emphasis on the holiday season, those relatives can visit anytime

[@tinaduncan72]

I'll see them next time. Have a great trip.

[@gaildevaney6074]

If a baby is due, I'm sure you don't want company anyway.

[@LikeThatAndLikeThisAnda]

My first thought

[@lovethemflowers]

Yes, they're going to need time to themselves. The parents will need to sleep when they can with a brand new baby. They don't need the burden of hosting houseguests.

[@genxx2724]

Right. This scenario doesn’t even make good nonsense.

[@AmyBethB]

I don't want company for one night.

[@dannymartial7997]

Man, there's a reason John is a professional... I never even thought about how boundaries can cause misunderstandings on both sides that cause both sides to hate each other. His advice to get that clarification is huge. If they really are skipping the visit because they couldn't use the newborn as an excuse to go sight-seeing, then Greg and his wife can rest easy knowing they're in the right for removing those family members from their lives.

[@poolmilethirty2859]

This is so true because people have a tendency to misconstrue communication. The guests can say in the future that the couple didn't care to see them, without mentioning or perhaps even remembering the underlying contingencies.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Well .. I don't think it's boundaries that's a problem. It is self centered, rude, entitled people that are the problem... Decent people don't expect others to "do crazy" 😊

[@geoffsmith82]

@@poolmilethirty2859 Or maybe even they will realize that they were being unreasonable and either adjust their plans (maybe come a bit later so that they can save for a hire car, or decide to come for the visit after all, after looking at their finances a bit more.

[@mayasilliman1465]

I had a situation once that was slyly done but didn't involve money or cars. Mental manipulation is just that. It is so sickening and sad that friends or relatives make a demand that then turns into further manipulation! Tell the parents to rent a car, period and don't let them guilt trip you.

[@sableann4255]

I've had people, so called friends, even a cousin try to get money out of me. One kept 'borrowing' $20....I ended those friendships. And now my cousin won't talk to me

[@mayasilliman1465]

@@sableann4255 With all due respect, that cousin for friend was never really on your side. As th.e expression goes "friends don't let friends drive drunk". Have a great day

[@jgjg3848]

What a narcissist to even think to ask someone for the use of their car to tool around Texas. OMG, some people.

[@Outback69]

Drive a stick

[@Outback69]

90% of the population can't do it

[@poolmilethirty2859]

Some people just find it hard to say no to favors because the ones asking make them feel guilty.

[@sw6155]

4:15 Ok, now THAT’s an important context that informs a better decision. “We’ve been saving for the coming of the baby, so we’ve been using old cars for our short commutes that are not road safe for longer trips. We recommend you get a rental.” That’s very different…

[@BusArch42]

This is what I would say. The cars are super old and not safe to drive out of town

[@Evilfairy188]

The caller doesn't have to justify why they can't lend a car for weeks, and you shouldn't feel the need to do that with people, either.The other family is trying to overstep and pouting because they didn't get their way. They're being manipulative.

[@SMincy25]

NO. I had folks tried to treat me like a car rental. Repairs were all mine. NO

[@conservativelens]

If they damage the vehicle, they can't afford to fix or replace it.

[@JoshuaTrinityWolf-dc4up]

I'd feel so bad about protecting my wife, home and new baby's finances, .... that I would give them a Rolex watch, grandmas wedding ring, a bucket of KFC and kidney in case they ever needed a spare.

[@stephengamber7000]

And I bet they won't be that appreciative anyway!

[@catherinewilke5583]

I had relatives (by marriage) who were just cheapskates. They would have tried to borrow a car even though they could afford to rent. But they were too cheap to fly so no problem 😂

[@coderider3022]

Yup.

[@angelbulldog4934]

If you can't afford a rental, it's a given you can't handle repairs.

[@pm2886]

How did they have the arrogance and audacity to even ask? Most people would die of shame 😮

[@DaleEGrant]

They're just going to borrow someone else's car. That's who they'll visit "for a few days". Nope, especially for a few weeks. I don't generally loan my car out anyway, nor do I borrow anyone's vehicle. I rent a car if I need one.

[@Tap354]

Don’t feel guilty, if they can’t afford a rental then they can’t afford to visit, also it’s a liability issue

[@stephaniegaddis1716]

As someone who lives in Rhode Island and has relatives in Texas, I feel called out! lol!! But, you're right. You can drive most anywhere in RI in an hour. But, DFW to El Paso is a looooooong drive!!

[@tonymorales740]

They never should have asked

[@exoticolors9953]

Yep. To me it’s a sign to never include them in anything from there on.

[@Josh.1234]

What type of families do you guys live in? My parents have loaned me cars, I have loaned my brothers cars, I've let them live rent free at my house, and many other favors.. lol. I don't financially analyze every favor I do them or they do for me. So what if it costs me or they wreck it. I have insurance. Granted if I have to drive to work, they can't take my only car but this sounds like one car can be spared. My family is worth more than a car and when they ask for simple favors, I refuse because of slight risk and cost, that hurts them as well. The Ramsey show said, if there is too much risk or cost, then you don't help your family.

[@xoxo-vp7ww]

@Josh.1234: but for a vacation/ rode trip? That sounds so weird to me. Maybe it’s because I would only ask a favor out of desperation or necessity (I wouldn’t want to burden my friends/family or put them in a situation where things get awkward.) I think of a vacation as a leisure experience that would only be done if I can afford all components. It’s interesting that some ppl see this as normal.

[@Andrew-it7fb]

​@@Josh.1234If someone's car breaks down and they need to get to work, sure. But for a vacation? No.

[@alan8887]

I agree with you. If family are visiting from out of State, rent a car. What happens if your engine or transmission goes while they are driving? I never, ever, ask to borrow anyones car, ever. For those who think family comes first, they do, just don't borrow my car if you don't have the money to fix it on the spot.

[@lsullivan5249]

My mother drilled it into me growing up. Neither a borrower nor a lender be. That included never drive someone else’s car, or let someone drive your car.

[@markw9841]

Part of the reason I have not sold my old car is so that I can loan it out to friends and family.... Car rentals in AK during the summer are expensive.

[@ccat5765]

We needed a new car so we bought a Toyaota Camry. We kept the old one so I could get a second job and we could both Door Dash for extra cash to pay off the new car. We had full coverage on both cars. In-laws (Hubby's parents) had a Chevy Equinox that his dad drove over an hour each way to work 5 days a week, and an old chevy s10 that had broken down. They spent money on extras like food for "get-togethers", holiday decorations, bowling nights, pizza, beer, etc., instead of getting the truck fixed. Instead, if his mom needed to go anywhere, she would ask to borrow our car. Even his sisters asked to borrow our car. Unless it was an emergency, we said no. We were being as responsible as we knew how with our finances and none of them were at all. We were also asked for help paying rent, groceries, gas, and Christmas presents. We ended up helping with the Christmas presents ($150 so the kids would have SOMETHING. We also got a few small things for them on our own), but the rest of it, we said no. We had our own bills and needs and wanted the car paid off asap. All they saw was we had money and we were working all the time, so we must have plenty. We have limited contact with all of them.

[@genxx2724]

They had a lot of nerve.

[@Bob-ub4gl]

Good wife, to stand alongside you, like this! Great things are in your future, supporting each other in situations, like this...

[@gwenj5419]

We don't let anyone else drive our cars ever. It always sounds friendly until there's an accident and they don't want to be responsible. I have paid to rent my son a car when he comes to visit because I know he can't afford it, but I wouldn't let him drive our cars.

[@reese85]

your own son can’t even drive your car? Man you ppl are crazy

[@tashajoykin5192]

@@reese85Think of it this way. She knows her son more than you know him. Some people just suck at driving and don’t bother improving.

[@reese85]

@tashajoykin5192 don’t care if they know their son more or not, it’s their son.

[@KristinHall0918]

Hate to break it to you but if you rent the car and he wrecks it you are also on the hook financially.

[@gwenj5419]

@KristinHall0918 Rented in their names, I just paid the bill.

[@annrogers8129]

Not just NO, HELL NO!! Their reaction tells you all you need to know.

[@Project-Masculinity]

What could Possibly Go Wrong!!!

[@herbiehusker1889]

Car accident totalling the car. Them blaming you and suing you.

[@user-mv9tt4st9k]

😂😂

[@summerbaby88]

😂😂😂

[@johnwobma6532]

It is of uppermost importance to set boundaries at the onset!! If they don't like it, their true character and intent will manifest itself ‼️

[@shanep2760]

This reminds me of my brother. He lives out of state and only comes home 2-3 times a year. He always expects someone to pick him up a the airport 1.5 hours away and then borrow a car for the week. Even though he makes great money and could easily afford the rental. My mom finally said something about it last year and he just threatened to not visit anymore. 🤦😡

[@siegfriedbraun5447]

Win-win, am I right?

[@peacepharvin7799]

Text ? Email ?

[@californiadreamer2580]

Buh bye😂

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

@@peacepharvin7799 Yeah I would just tell him to just text or email instead with a threat like that.

[@hadenanderson563]

It's nice when your family picks you up from the airport. Of course he can rent a car.

[@buffalosoldier19d42]

My mom who would not allow me to drive until I turned 18 ( and went and got my license on my own) because I wasn't a "B" student (lower insurance rates) wanted to borrow my truck to go strawberry picking. She said that I had a nicer vehicle and she didn't have to worry about making it back. Not that they had bad vehicles. It was because my dad thought himself to be a mechanic. He wasn't. I reminded her that I couldn't drive until I turned 18 because of decisions that I made. The answer was, "No!"

[@dougf9900]

I had a family member who doesn’t own a car ask me to add them to my insurance temporarily so that they could rent a vehicle without paying for a wildly expensive policy from the rental company. That was a no

[@AccidentalHiker1]

Tell the family members to get auto insurance as a driver only. I don't own a car but do carry insurance to drive a rental or any car.

[@BREEZYM6015]

What could go wrong? 😂

[@AGM-ts5bb]

​@@AccidentalHiker1Very good idea that I was not aware of!

[@thetaekwondoe3887]

I have a car and insurance, but I still pay the rental car's insurance if I travel. Peace of mind.

[@maryminnick7776]

Aside from their request being inappropriate, you should ask yourself if you could afford to replace that car if something happened to it while they had it. If the answer is no, then the answer is no. And don't feel guilty about it.

[@CHSwildcats19]

The extended family has known for a full 9 months this baby will be born around the holidays. They saved the money for plane tickets. But the cost of a rental car is the reason they aren't coming??? No, that's just stupid. If they have 2 weeks off from work, they can drive themselves to Texas from anywhere in the continental U.S., save the plane ticket money, and have their own vehicle to travel around in. But it's not about time or money. They are being despicable USERS and I feel so sorry for his wife because she is seeing her family for who they really are. ☹😞

[@GixxerRider1991]

Family is put on a pedestal in our society that it does not deserve. Just because you happen to be related to someone does not mean you owe them anything.

[@muchadoaboutsomething]

We have a family rule that we never loan out our vehicles.

[@nvanpraag]

Here's the other thing people don't tend to realize... you lend your car to someone and they crash it it's YOUR insurance that covers it, not theirs (even if they have insurance). Insurance follows the vehicle not the driver.

[@JudyGraesch]

Our insurance won’t cover our car if someone else drives it.

[@janeflip1]

Then you have crappy insurance!

[@JudyGraesch]

@@janeflip1 you are right. Tried to switch and couldn’t get coverage for house so was forced to stay for this year. Try again next time

[@MariaMaria-sr8zg]

​@@janeflip1it depends on the state. Some states require it. Some states offer it. There are some states that don't even offer uninsured motorist insurance on vehicles.

[@Snoops510]

How clueless that they want to take your car away at the same time your new baby is being born. Pediatrician visits. Running to the store to buy something baby needs. On and on.

[@lombardo141]

Depends on the family members and relationship. My siblings or parents no questions asked.

[@nancyballard8666]

The day before our son's family came to visit, they had a big windstorm, and a large branch speared through the roof of their car and totaled it. When friends heard about it, there were several offers for them to use their cars. Such a blessing. It is one thing to expect something from someone, another for people to be generous with what they have.

[@dianeschenkelberg8270]

What if they borrowed one of the cars for 2 weeks and something happens to the car left with you? You wouldn't have a backup and be home with a newborn! That was just rude to ask and even ruder to cancel because of it.

[@robinshane4661]

My family is so very close to myself and my husband. We are more like sister and brothers than cousins and all an our parents are gone at this point. None of us would be so rude as to ask for one’s care for 2 weeks. Stay at the house for a couple of weeks, sure. Borrow the car for a day or two? Absolutely a day or two, but two weeks? Insanely rude. Not to mention you’re expecting a baby. And now they won’t come? Toxic and entitled. That’s what they are. ❤❤❤. I support your decision to say no. Apparently their affection comes with strings. Incredible.

[@TF-mw4sy]

"Can we borrow your car for our vacation?" "Why don't you rent a car?" "We can't afford it, so we're asking family for help." "Here's my help- if you can't afford your own rental car, then you can't afford the vacation. Go somewhere cheaper and a shorter trip. Go somewhere walkable so you won't need a car there. Postpone your trip, save up a little more, THEN rent a car and go." Lots of options for them. ❤ No resentment for you. ❤

[@nealreiersen6823]

This reminds me of when my youngest was born my MIL wanted to come and take a week to see the town. When my wife wanted her mom to help her take care of the baby. My wife set the boundary and her mom ended up not coming and it hurt but pain is better then resentment when boundaries are crossed.

[@lot2196]

We borrowed my father and mother in laws vehicles often. They insisted we take them. This was when we were younger. They had newer, more trustworthy vehicles back then.

[@cherfromtn8225]

This happens to people with larger SUVs or trucks all the time. People expect that you will loan it so they can haul stuff or move furniture. Sometimes these people are the ones who bought a Toyota Prius to save the climate but look down on you for owning a SUV.

[@cobb5351]

This call reminded me of a difficult time when I planned to attend a funeral in upstate New York during the dead of winter, amidst a snowstorm. I intended to fly in and asked if someone could pick me up at the airport, as I hadn’t driven in snow for nearly 30 years and didn’t trust myself to navigate the icy roads in a rental car. However, I was informed there was no room for me, so I made the painful decision not to attend. It wasn’t out of selfishness or a desire to inconvenience anyone; it was simply a matter of safety, as the conditions were hazardous for anyone to be traveling. Unfortunately, some family members never forgave me for not making the trip, though my decision was made with the best intentions and genuine concern for everyone’s well-being. 😊

[@gailhoover9263]

It's just amazing that they selfishly weren't able to empathize with you. You possibly saved yourself or a relative from being seriously injured.

[@theresamc4578]

Now you know more about how really loving those relatives are. That will save you for future decisions.

[@Lyn-io5tx]

Since it was too hazardous for anyone to be driving it should have just been a notice that you weren’t going to be able to make it. If they can’t emphasize with that then it wouldn’t matter anyway.

[@myvonne]

Did it for one visit with my sister in law…second time visit, set boundaries and declined being so accommodating and now haven’t seen her in almost 20 years. Ya, you guessed it, we are the bad guys. We wish her a happy life and do not regret our decision.

[@josiemojica3674]

My husbands oldest son asked to borrow his truck for a trip out of state. Umm wtf was he on? That was a hell no from us.

[@jaygallamore562]

I used to live in Hawaii so we had a lot of friends and families visiting. The first group of relatives arrived, stayed at our house, and used our car for over a week and it was a big inconvenience for us. Afterward, including both our parents, they were welcome to visit and stay at our house. We would play tour guide as our schedule permits. We told everyone however, not to leave the airport without a rental car. No one was upset and we had lots of wonderful visits.

[@carguy4658]

"NO," is a complete sentence. Fine if you come for a visit, but my car is not part of the equation.

[@JayJay-ii5un]

My mother in law pulled this on us when loosing that car would have set us way back. We said no. She never really talked to us again. That's the way the ball bounces sometimes.

[@ouraniamurphy8022]

This is a big No!!!

[@lucyroberts2800]

I recognise the pattern of behaviour I’m fairly new to listening to you guys and I think you’re very knowledgeable . This year I unhooked myself from three very manipulative people in my life . Not completely as we have loved ones in common so some contact has to be maintained . It’s taken years to do this and I won’t go back a line has been crossed and I can’t be drawn back . Next year we hope to move . That won’t be popular .

[@WOHM8274]

They can get a rental car!!

[@alinatamashevich3354]

Avis, Hertz!

[@lydiasimoneau931]

I lived in a resort area in Oregon. Friends kept visiting the area and not us but have a free place to stay. We closed Club Bend after being used multiple times.

[@stephengamber7000]

No No No. Bet they'll use it and be ungrateful. If they crash your car or mess up the interior, etc. bet they won't fix it.

[@sharondoan1447]

This young man is confused about his role as the head of the household. He needs to have the confidence in himself that allows him to say,” I do not believe this is wise. We cannot loan our vehicle to your family, especially for two weeks of travel.” The truth is his wife’s family could be the type who make this sort of request again and again over the years. Loan it this time and they have a built-in vacation plan for years to come. Buck up young man. Do the right thing and protect your investment in your own transportation. Mommy and Daddy will be celebrating their baby and be over the moon with love and joy .

[@gibblespascack1418]

When our family fly's in from the west coast, of course they can use one of the vehicles. The vehicles are paid for and insured. What ever they need, they will have when on the east coast. It works the same way if we go to the west. If something happens to the car, as long as the occupants are safe, everything is fine. The car is replaceable. They will also have a place to stay while they are here too.

[@Bassey_NZ]

Well done! Our family is exactly the same. No one has to ask, we offer!! I think the new baby in this scenario has to be taken into account though.

[@cherfromtn8225]

I think that is a different scenario. Your relatives sound like they are staying with you and using your car to get around. In this situation, the family is flying in to spend a few days. THEN they are driving all over Texas to see everyone else. They are NOT spending family time with this young couple. That is much different.

[@GoldenWolfBeWise]

great question...as a Man and leader of a Family, you have to make these decisions on your own, but for advice purposes, i would emphasis the inconvenience of the timing and not the action, that way, the Family members have a clear understanding of why you cant at the moment.

[@PaulaBean-o6x]

If I had family coming just to see me and stay with me but needed to borrow a car to run to the store or something like that, yes, I would let them borrow my car. However, it seems like it is more like they want just a vacation with a free rental.

[@SD-ko4tz]

I have lend the car of my mother in law for camping because ours was in the garage. And my brother and my father had ours for a week. All secondhand cars but still. We trust each other

[@astroboy5137]

My wife’s mother & father in law borrowed my pickup to take their camper on a trip. Their pickup was in the shop. They were gone for 4 days. We got a call from them. My father in law said there home and if I want this piece of crap back you need to come & pick it up. Because he’s not driving it nowhere.

[@JoshuaTrinityWolf-dc4up]

" JUDGE JUDY " : " No good deed ,......goes unpunished. "

[@theresa78201]

😲

[@historiqueafricaine]

I don't even know what to say 😧this is too much!!

[@theresamc4578]

Well, that will free you up from having them over for the next 10 Thanksgivings.

[@Pa-we1lw]

Having lived in a resort town for decades, you find out who your friends are-the ones who get an Airbnb.

[@jodybobo]

Wow, I can’t even having the nerve to ask someone that. What a bunch of moochers😂

[@nitacollins9543]

Great comment😂😂😂

[@bracebrooks967]

I've visited relatives while out of town during 5 out of the last 7 trips I took, and just stayed at hotels. I never asked to stay at those relatives' houses, or use their car. They would pick me up from my hotel however and drive me around. I even offered to pay them being my tour guides in a city I was unfamiliar with. Some accepted my donations, and others politely refused them. So I don't try to use anyone. I know what it's like to be used.

[@Lucysil1970]

My husband’s 26 year old niece recently wrecked her car and asked if she could borrow our Tesla for a few weeks while she had her car fixed. She has a ton of money from an inheritance, but she opted out of rental car coverage with her insurance that her mom was paying for. I was like floored that she would ask such a thing.

[@BREEZYM6015]

If she's good looking I might let her borrow my car. 😂

[@Jane-rh7tc]

your story already explained why she would ask that, that girl never had to be responsible for anything in her life including making her own $$ to support herself, you think she knows what it means to think for other ppl?

[@nvention20]

sounds like a Teaching opportunity

[@theresa78201]

Well now, it is just a Tesla after all....😆Unbelievable!

[@genxx2724]

@@nvention20 I wouldn’t teach her, because she would likely be resentful. But I would stand aside and let her learn from this. It’s called the school of hard knocks.

[@-myal-8691]

When you loan a vehicle to someone are are liable for any damages or liabilities if they are involved in an accident that is their fault. If a tire blows out on your high mileage vehicles while they are driving your vehicle, they could and probably would sue you for any injuries. Think about how that could get your life off track.

[@Shannonacrossamerica]

The answer is no! When I go to visit family I have my own transportation and sleeping arrangements. Even if I rode along with someone, I have a car parked at their house. If I go to a resort for a conference, I rent a car. I don’t get a ride back and forth to the airport. I’m 50 and I know how important it is to have my own stuff. 0:23

[@kevinwang2723]

if they felt comfortable asking for a favor, please feel comfortable rejecting them if you are not willing to give. if they end up getting upset, just leave it there, but you need to make sure you accept their rejection when position swaps around in the future.

[@Holly.Anderson92]

I came across your channel through this video- case studies are incredibly valuable, and I'm eager to see more in the future! Building wealth involves establishing routines, like consistently setting aside funds at regular intervals for smart investments.

[@ToddStanton30]

You're correct. I think the smartest way to go is to spread out your investments. By putting your money into different asset classes like bonds, real estate, and stocks from other countries, you can lower the risk if one part of the market goes bad.

[@JorgeSunderland]

That sounds like a good plan. In the past two years, working closely with a financial market specialist, I've built a six-figure diversified stock portfolio. Now, I aim to diversify even more this year.

[@WellsGodfrey]

I'm a newbie talking about a financial market specialist, do you consider anyone worthy of recommendations? I have about 10Ok to test the waters now that large cap stocks are at a discount

[@LarryBolster80]

Mrs Martha Ann Hammerton was my hope during the 'bear summer last year . I did so many mistakes but also learned so much from it

[@ArthurDasche]