Family With High Needs

Demar Gear got meningitis at five months old, leaving her unable to walk or talk. For her parents Matetu and Courtenay, being told she’d never survive was unacceptable, and today…they’re celebrating Demar’s 21st birthday. One of six children, Demar has a brother with autism. It’s full on, but with love and communication, Matetu and Courtenay get past the daily struggles to make family life work, and work well.
Made with the support of NZ On Air.
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[@nikitanair6566]

I think the father is exceptional. He's truly a man of few words but the care he shows is evident.

[@camillagustafssonmood3913]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@lunaplata4726]

Very true! I saw when he transferred her from the chair to bed with ease, but sadly we all grow older, what’s going to happen when he gets older and isn’t strong enough anymore. Sad to think about that too.

[@keatonscreations]

I love the way she looks at her children. I'm 26 but can she adopt me? She's such an incredible mom!

[@tammycornejo9155]

I am 54 she can have me too.

[@devinlockhart4377]

She can also adopt me to I’m only 28 she an awesome mom

[@ritajimmie3361]

She can adopt me as well

[@virginiaconnor8350]

Where does she live? I wish I could go there. This family is beautiful.

[@ashlynsnatchingwigs]

The look on her face when she kisses her is so heart melting she loves her mom so much you can tell in her eyes and face. I relate my son is nonverbal but I can see the love he has for me when I kiss him I see his reaction and it makes all the hard times so much worth it

[@shaylacrossland1475]

Her mother is such a beautiful soul and her dad is a gentle giant.

[@WebCamPickle]

She's an inspiration for what a mom is. So much respect.

[@karenmerritt3552]

I have tears rolling down,. What a remarkable mother she is

[@kathy2888]

@@karenmerritt3552 Same, I also have cerebral palsy, and I can't wait to have my own kids to give them the same love.

[@misschris325]

I'm in awe with the mother. She is stunning and incredibly strong. In it's own way- it's a blessing to have the opportunity to be presented with a unique set of challenges to face as a family.

[@sharontaylor3890]

The son is much more affectionate and interactive than I would expect for a child with autism. Either the diagnosis is wrong or autism researchers and therapists need to study this family to learn from them.

[@chrisstephenson7165]

Miss Chris a BLESSING? 👊🏼

[@Heh3469]

Sharon Taylor Autism has many levels and no one is the same so I don’t understand your comment! There are three levels ranging from mild to severe on the Autism spectrum.

[@MA-zg2pz]

@@sharontaylor3890 many children with autism are affectionate and interactive. All children want to receive and give love. I’m not sure why you have pegged them all one way.

[@debsbaines6662]

My son has high functioning autism and is very affectionate. Autism causes social difficulties but they don't all present the same way, they can be overly friendly or socially awkward. Autism is unique to each person.

[@coribailey5338]

God these parents... anyone would be the luckiest person on the planet to have this mother & her husband. Wow

[@racheycakes346]

I feel for the 12 year old she is so strong as well and helps her sister and supports here mum 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@Ashlynn_Morgan]

But I'm confused, she said she's 12 going in 25...what does she mean!!??

[@rashidatyler4493]

@@Ashlynn_Morgan her attitude is like a 25 year old

[@sanchekl76]

That she is mature for her age.

[@whiteMCHammer]

The love in this mothers eyes when she looks at her kids and at her husband is so beautiful. What an incredible person, an incredible family

[@poppykok5]

Not very often am I somewhat at a loss for words...All I can say is that the tender, gentle spirit, grace & deep love for her Family that Mrs. Gear exudes is so palpable that I can literally FEEL it...

[@porkakoo]

poppykok5 well said, beautiful family.

[@Sarah.Riedel]

Tahumatua: "It's my birthday." Mum: "And how old are you going to be?" T: "A wizard." M: "You're going to be 8." 😂 This was adorable LOL 😍

[@LittleLiarEricaxxPLLcrazed]

Lol you know a certain little boy has watched too much Harry Potter!

[@AndrewFreeston-qn7ck]

the words 'waste of tax dollars' 'tribal inbreeding' ' 'pay for this with your treaty theft' 'non optional sterilization' and 'you had it,you fu*cking pay for it' spring to mind

[@itsme2365]

Andrew Freeston What exactly are you trying to say here ?

[@somethingaboutbeauty8245]

Itsme 23 nothing because it’s ignorant verbal vomit. I mean what Andrew spewed.

[@ItsAlejandraTTD]

“cool! how does this child learn?” SO PURE

[@allhim108]

Thank you so much for making the Attitude series. I have CP. My Mom was the reason I have a life. My brother had a disability as well. We were always loved. Our mom kept us at home and raised us to be as able and as loving as we could. She raised two happy kids with physical disabilities. That’s an accomplishment.

[@sonjam314]

As a mother and disabled nurse I just want to say thank you for these wonderful documentaries!!!!!! I don’t get into reality shows be a they are so fake. So, having these documentaries that are real, about wonderful children and their families and in the medical field just catching my interest. I can’t work as a nurse anymore but my love of the people, medical field and loving to still learn new things has me absolutely addicted to these wonderful videos. Thank you so much!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@zninz5368]

First 5 mins I was crying.. mid way crying again. The mother is an absolute sweetheart, power to her for always doing her best.

[@shellbysmith3479]

I was crying as soon as she got to her party and heard the singing and saw the love do they need a grandma I will come I have a lot of love to give and I don’t get any from my family oh how beautiful your family is bless all of you

[@marjanf56]

i did home care with special needs children for over 30 years.. one family i had for 21 years the other for 17 years..i loved my job

[@myroom4640]

I love how affectionate the mother is!!! Children need lots of kisses and cuddles, regardless of whether they have a disability or not. She’s a wonderful loving parent. 😊😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@ravennewlyn6386]

“It’s my birthday” “How old are you going to be?” “A Wizard” This is adorable and it’s my everyday mood!

[@itsme2365]

Raven Newlyn What language is this?

[@BloodSweatandFears]

I caught that too! I was like good answer sir! 😊

[@jacquel2ne]

This mother is an inspiration!! The love and care she gives her family is exemplary! 💖

[@ansta0311]

I have so much admiration for these parents. They’re true heroes.

[@bryannab7566]

"39 year-old mother of 6" SHE LOOKS 25!

[@perfectlyhonest4139]

Bryanna B damn what 25 year olds you know that look like that

[@blobbyblob2573]

Bryanna B you need to see an optician seriously

[@Incompetences]

She definitely does not look anywhere close to 25, but she does look great for her age.

[@milica7522]

@@blobbyblob2573 Im wearing my glasses and Im telling you. If she had time to take care of herself with creams and beauty products and hair and make up in the end, its 25.

[@blobbyblob2573]

Milica then get your glasses checked fool.

[@ivonned32]

This Mom needs to be the whole worlds Mother for us to feel love by an amazing mother at least once!

[@charlottemacgregor5061]

I’m totally in awe of the mum. So inspiring as a wheelchair user myself.

[@thedrugthatkilled]

In this world with so much online negativity, this channel is a breath of fresh air, it soothes my soul to watch & hear these stories of love and acceptance ❤️ Thank you Attitude & all the wonderful people who share their stories 💋

[@stoirmdraodih6810]

I love your videos as they show the normal side of disability and not the limitations or not just the limitations but also shows how family dynamics change and how carers that are also family change and adapt alongside the disabled person.

[@lizabethfeig9788]

What a gorgeous, exemplary, loving, tender, powerful human being this mother is...I am moved beyond words...

[@tamvee]

That mother is incredible. What a gentle and strong woman.

[@ashlynsnatchingwigs]

Such a sweet loving patient mother. My son has severe autism and alot of days are hard. You're an inspiration to me such a loving family. ❤

[@happyhorse1028]

Ashlyn WearsWigs2 my son also has severe autism. I feel like it is the hardest disability to cope with. Do you mind me asking, if your son cried loudly when he was born?

[@thecreatedaddict9793]

They are one of the most pure, loving, and genuine people I’ve ever come across! God bless you and yours!

[@amyyy___]

I was just crying, sad and suicidal. Videos like these make me remember how lucky I really am.

[@elegantlywasted5447]

She’s exhausted Parenting is the hardest job

[@amandacharlebois9295]

True!!

[@brendaseager7371]

This lady is one amazing mother. Looking after a home and family is hard enough but to be as gentle and patient with two children with disabilities is so wonderful to see. The father is as amazing as the mom. There has to be a committed love between people that is growing all the time it appears with this couple where others grow farther away from each other. All the way around it is a wonderful atmosphere to raise a family.

[@ITSONLYMEWATCHING]

The mother is a wonder mother. She is amazing and so are her beautiful kids.

[@happyjollyranchers]

This channel is the gem of youtube. I love what you guys do!

[@myredpencil]

I adore this mom! Her energy, positivity, control, and endless love make her someone I'd be friends with. It's the spirit of seeing all children as our blessings and not our burdens that make them all thrive together as a family within a strong community.

[@agadorisabel]

Such a wonderful family. I am so grateful that there are people with so much gentleness and strength in the world.

[@mollyhorse]

What an incredible family! Mum is just an inspiration..and daughter is amazing..what a beautiful example of family ...and as a Maori woman, I think Courtenay deserves some recognition....so much negative publicity about abuse in homes.particularly in Rotorua....heres one Maori chick rocking her world and doing a job that very few other people would cope with...and doing it brilliantly! This family has reduced me to tears...so wonderful. xx...someone please start a fund to buy a house for this couple..I'll contribute!.

[@sweb3590]

The 21yo does not seem like life is in her. It seems like she breaths but nothing else. I see this is painful to have a healthy baby, 5 months in, she catches a disease that changes her forever in this way. That would be so hard to deal with. This is sad.

[@JaimeMesChiens]

Well, she’s probably not really aware of much other than when she feels pain. They really don’t mention her brain function or any level of awareness.

[@eurekamreum5458]

What an extraordinary mom, she's amazing.

[@heathermiller76]

I see some of the worst people & channels on KZbin with millions of subscribers, then I see this amazing channel.... 119K subscribers.... so many missing out on the growth, knowledge & heart that emanates from each video. It seems to be a perfect representation of the world today.... the worst people seem to get money, prestige & popularity while the Best are often poor, beautiful & full of heart & commitment. Thank you for being committed to being the BEST part of KZbin. ❤️

[@sylvial.4223]

What an amazing, admiral mother, she reminds me so much of my mother, unconditionally loving, patient and genuine. God Bless this Family!

[@Nikolella]

This mom is amazing, will instantly stop feeling sorry for myself…

[@Biggles2305]

She is amazing!

[@jinga210]

So much love to this family!!! Mothers will hold the weight of the world if it is for our family… and finding yourself during adversary is the most true form of self. Yes, I could see how tired the mom is but also could see her joyful purpose in her beautiful family.

[@deirdreatkins3554]

Your the definition of what a mom should be !! Your amazing 👏

[@yumidesu1]

I cried watching this. The love and mana you have Courtenay is second to none. I would love to hear how you are all going now. I hope well and that you have joy still filling your lives. Manaaki Te Atua to you and your Whanau ❤🫶🏻

[@HarvestMoon21]

I love New Zealand!!! You all are amazing!! So much love and family from all videos I've watched....much admiration and love sent your way!!!

[@AttitudeLive]

Thank you so much!!

[@kerryford7180]

Beautiful family...you could see the gratefulness and happiness on the face of the older disabled girl during her 21st birthday party..bless them all

[@taylorc146]

I hope to be as good of a mom as this amazing woman.

[@tammycornejo9155]

Your marriage is a lot like mine. We are all very lucky. Our families we just love. Thank you

[@urlocalloser4921]

the look on the mom’s face while she watches her kids throughout the video is soooo wonderful. most videos like this, the parents look tired and sad (which is understandable) but you can REALLY see the love on her face and with the way she acts

[@lizzybearcutie]

Wow, this mother wient throught this with her daughter we she was only 18. I would so not have been able to handle that well. I mean I would do what I had to do, but this mom is amazing. I realize that she has been doing this for years now, but even when she is struggling she shows so much grace.

[@headhayley123]

I wish my mother was as kind and gentle as this woman 💜

[@MyaJ451]

You could feel all the love in the room at Demar’s birthday party

[@Raelfeyna]

Such a strong and loving woman

[@maureensergeant3939]

This woman is so strong and I a m amazed at her strength role model

[@camarojai6832]

When everyone may want to give up, Mommas never, and Daddies become the much needed strength in so many ways

[@leonaleona1628]

What a beautiful family! Mom you're a special woman.. they are blessed to have you! I understand the struggles. Make sure you take care of yourself! May you all continue to be blessed! 💕

[@LuLuLuvU]

Mom - You are a beautiful parent to your children & a wonderful inspiration to all Mom's watching. Bless your heart. 💜

[@ElenTuf]

This is so beautiful. Such a brave mother and loving support from her family and the rest of her local community. It's the typical maori/islander love that we have for eachother. ❤️

[@colinrichards662]

A wonderful woman with heaps of courage and love,you are all heros and a great family i wish so much all goes well for you all........

[@donnaconrad4297]

You are such a strong woman. I am like you, I would not have put a child of mine like Demar in an institution. You have such a great attitude.

[@lydiaj7492]

The depth of tenderness and compassion that all of them show to each other and to Demar just.. like.. touched a grief and a desire in me that I didn't know was there. I cannot fathom recieving that level of selfless, unconditional care and unending empathy. Yeah..

[@JuJu-bd6yf]

I feel ya gurl.. I have a disabled daughter who doesn't walk talk crawl, I feed her through her gtube... and she's getting bigger and I'm getting older.. and what some don't talk about is fear of their future if they outlive us... where do they go and who will love and care for them as much as we do? How will they defend themselves from any type abuse in a special home if they should go there... not all of us have family that can or are able to care for our special high needs children when we die....

[@ShyAnn291]

Ju Ju I get that has to be such a heart wrenching thing to think about, I bet your sweet daughter is amazing!

[@Kimbooleeful]

I understand what you’re feeling ju ju. I have a disabled sister and I always worry about what will happen when my parents pass (Knock on wood that it does not happen any time soon). But it makes me sad all the time. I cannot imagine putting her in a home or health care facility because I just don’t trust that she will receive the proper care. My parents are amazing people! ❤️

[@tarrynkoko602]

I feel ya,I have a son and I worry what will happen as I get older

[@mariekatherine5238]

I worry about myself. I have RA, MS, fibromyalgia, an enlarged heart. Am ineligible for any govt. assistance, found too independent for eligibiliy. Still work but it takes all strength to get through day. Parents in 90s, can't help. No other family able to help in any way, care, finances. They don't want to, anyhow. Don't have room or suitable living quarters. Afraid there's only one thing to do, spend myself down until I get taken to care home. This is wrong when with assistance, I could continue being contributing member of society.

[@pinkmonkeybird2644]

I’m so sorry; it’s an impossible situation thinking about leaving your severely disabled children/siblings behind when you pass from this world. The best you can do is trust that your family bonds are strong enough to extend to the next generation. Even if a family is close and full of love, there’s still that little fear in the back of your mind that circumstances will prevent the younger ones for caring for the older disabled family. It’s heartbreaking, and I’m sorry for anyone with that fear.

[@pinkkisses9290]

such amazing and loving parents . god bless them all

[@kerryford7180]

Mum is an angel

[@porkakoo]

What a beautiful family! The mother is an inspiration and the father is awesome for standing by his family. I’m so glad I came across this video.

[@ddubfan]

What a great family! So much love and support 💜

[@Beautyjoy98]

I have the most respect in the world for this family!! Absolutely beautiful!!!

[@mandycote3652]

...I am glad that you were able to share this...you have a wonderful insight with human relations...and you are a wonderful person...and thank-you for sharing your own growth through this...you are a treasure for your family AND it is true Courtenay...for every good man there is a good woman standing beside him...you are that woman...

[@gemmabennett8026]

There are no words to capture what an incredible mother you a are xxx

[@katesierra4909]

What a beautiful and incredibly special family. X

[@yochevedabrahams6530]

How do you have so much patience and your unconditional love and support and giving is just an inspiration!! You are amazing

[@MrMaria0991]

Gosh this video had me in tears to see a mother so dedicated to her family esp to her sick eldest daughter ,but with that they have come out stronger in this situation ,God bless your family xox

[@d.4280]

Attitude always gets me with these stories, so many hopes, and humanity despite the pain and difficulties...And what about the love!

[@EsmeeK90]

Wow.. I love this Family! Thats all i can say. There's no words to describe how much respect i have for this Family after watching this video. Xxx from the Netherlands

[@makalaka123]

WOW! just, wow!!!! how absolutely inspiring to see such an unconditionally loving and dedicated family ❤️

[@foreverchristina1966]

Beautiful Family With Beautiful Hearts Of Gold ❤️

[@hattie7910]

You are an incredible human! You are doing an amazing job raising your wonderful children. You can see how much love you all have for one another!!

[@rawtcollingsforth6119]

God BLESS that mother!!!!!!!!! Her heart is unbelievably beautiful and strong!!!!!!!

[@KPiam]

I can just feel the abundant love in this sweet family!

[@pitbullsandcalicos]

This mum just blows me away! Wonderful wonderful lady and Dad is very supportive. Great family ❤

[@lbee171]

What an amazing, inspirational family. God bless you all. This mothers love is so powerful, she is so strong! Thank-you for sharing. 💕

[@bettygorske2136]

Mrs Gear, you and your family are Warriors!! The love you All have for each other not only shows, but as I'm watching this, I can feel it!! You are All such Beautiful, Lovely Souls and God Bless You All!! I'm sending prayers, positive vibes and energy and I sure wish I lived by you so I could help out with your family...Much Love to You All!!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜💜💜💞💞💞💞💞💞💙💙💚💚💚💝💝💝💝 Namaste

[@Kimchi_-nw8vg]

What an incredibly inspiring family. And that mother is a superhero too!

[@the.evilducky]

Bless this family 💙💚 from one medically fragile mama to another you are doing amazing and a hero to us young moms starting down this road

[@arceliacody3546]

BEAUTIFUL!! IT'S SOO NICE THAT THE COMMUNITY COULD GIVE LOVE TO THE SPECIAL ANGEL AND THE FAMILY. YOU ALL IN OUR PRAYERS. GOD BLESS.

[@priyanka3608]

An amazing family and an outstanding mom.

[@katherinehickson6102]

What an incredible woman and an amazing family... very strong people. Lots and lots of arohanui xxx

[@Ruthybwn]

what a ridiculously cool mum

[@silvana8246]

RESPECT to this beautiful family

[@Musicmaestro2023]

What an incredible mum with a strong spirit - that is so proud of her superheros . An inspiration to help other families with disabilities . She sees the world in a positive light with the support of a loving husband and family . Very touching moment when she FaceTimed with her mother . Thank u for sharing your story . May u continue to receive the assistance and best continued care for Demar

[@Yoongiwifie]

Stay strong ~ your a great mother who is an angel

[@AspieAnswers]

Thanks for sharing this. She's such an awesome and strong mum. Great to see how some parents faces everyday with someone who has high nerds. I wish them all the best for what's to come.

[@gmamah9559]

What a beautiful, strong family! I hear you, Mama!!!

[@thuong-soolinda4050]

So much love. Strong and beautiful mum.

[@meghanh2511]

Very brave to have 5 more kids knowing how hard it is to care for one disabled child.

[@samanthamartin9712]

GOD BLESS THIS BEAUTIFUL FAMILY AND EVERYONE

[@debbiedoestinyliving85]

There is absolutely too much to lose if you let loose too much. Others can love her but nobody is her mom. Prayers for strength.

[@April-sn1wf]

Your the best mother in the world ♥️💛🙏🏻😇 I’ll pray for you evryday♥️💚💛❤️💜🖤