Pilot Battles ALCOHOLISM While Flying (EMOTIONAL)

[@boballoon]

Hi Tim, Don't knock yourself mate, if it takes 14 minutes, it needed 14 minutes. I have not had an alcoholic drink in nearly 15 years, and now don't miss it, now smoking is a different story. You said a couple of minutes before the end that no one will be watching, we are. I found your blog about six months ago, and have now watched nearly all of them, and have never quit before the end, as you never know what may be there. Keep up the great videos, great advice, and being a friend to all of us out here in viewing land.

[@FastJetPerformance]

Thank you Bob, very kind of you to say so.

[@paulbembridge3729]

I'm ex RAF. Got into the NAAFI drinking culture and carried that on into civvie life for over 30 years. It cost me a marriage, several jobs and fuck knows how much money. I quit five years ago because it was either that or die. I don't go to bed early though and I don't get bored in the evenings. That's when I come alive. I write, I tought myself to play banjo, I learned how to fly an A10 on my PC, I go to my archery club's indoor range and shoot my bow. I do anything but drink. And like you, if I go to the pub I drink coke because I'm an ex-alcoholic who found out that there is more to life than death.

[@VincentVega-u6w]

👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 Well at least your happy my friend, that's all that counts.

[@gregtaylor6146]

Holy sh@t Tim ..... that was truly emotional! Don't you dare ever look at those 'beams' like that ever again ........ the World needs people like you! Please don't apologise for going off-piste with your videos, those 14 minutes (excuse the pun) flew by! I hope your man gains something from your advice. All the Best, G

[@andyquittelier19]

Hi Tim, I’ve just stumbled upon your channel and this particular vlog at a time when I really needed to hear your words. I’ve recently retired, ill health (PTSD, depression, alcohol dependency, heart disease)after 30 years as a frontline Police Officer. I have to stop punishing myself, because that’s what drinking feels like to me and I know I deserve better than that. Thanks for putting yourself out there and thanks for your service

[@DarrenEdwardsAviation]

Quality Tim, even if you can only help one person, that's massive, but i'm sure you're videos will help a load of people, in this position.

[@llywnogmawr5853]

When I first joined up in 66 , it was almost mandatory. Alcohol was a way of life , boasting in the crew room what so and so did last night O2 treatment,tried hard to resist the pressures but career suffered, not a treated as one of the team . My work was excellent but annual assessments marked down for not being sociable. The boss called me a total enigma. Took to sport that also had an alcohol culture. Stayed the course,lost myself in further education, which was a total saviour for me. Resist the peer group pressure, it’ll be worth it. Tim excellent advice, put in terms which hit home.

[@DavidcCbrider]

I was reared by a man that never ever wanted kids and because of that he didnt care about us at all . In fact he said that he wished that he had never got married or had children . So i never had anyone to turn to when i needed help. Your making people think and thats a good thing .Keep up the good work Tim Thanks 👍👍👍

[@mathius-hc4yu]

Thank you for being there

[@dazblake7907]

You sir are a legand! The support you give to us guys not just in the military, it is a much needed topic to get us dudes taking and being open to feelings, and addiction and you cover that in such a away we can all relate and I think I can speak for most guys watching you, you are helping us so much honestly, don’t stop what you’re doing buddy 🤟

[@jasonlund6770]

Hi Tim, thank you for sharing your journey so openly, sadly my brother lost his battle with Alcohol at the age of 38 two years ago. I’m sure this video will reach people who are craving a change but are struggling to make that change 💪

[@DieselDSM69]

My deepest sympathies to you here. I too had a brother aged 37 yrs & 10 month. He died in 2008 after alcoholism and a heart attack. I know how much it hurts and even now, 16 years later it's not much better. Best wishes to you.

[@newdayyesterday]

Spoken with experience and compassion Tim. We are all victims at some time in our lives, make the CORRECT decisions for YOURSELF.

[@bootneck607]

Did not have an alcohol problem but in mental health, the "own it like a boss" helped me out big time. Another great vid Tim, thank you.

[@alex.mortz9]

Really appreciate your continuous openness and honesty on all the subjects you speak about. It’s so important to see guys able to talk, with brutal honesty, about men’s problems. There’s not many male role models for guys at the moment! It’s interesting you mentioned being concerned about oversharing but sharing this sort of this is exactly what we need to do as men. I’ve written a bit of blog to try to do the same and practice what i preach! Dont worry about the length Tim. I’ve seen you mention a couple of times in videos where you’ve said ‘nobody is watching this’ because it’s x length of time. I’ve watched the entirety of each of them! They’re always extremely engaging! Keep it up!

[@StephenDixon00]

Excellent video Tim after loosing my father down to alcoholism it's so good you're offering great advise to offers with it. Keep up the great work!

[@markburton3306]

I used to work in the tv industry and there is a big drinking culture. If you ever visited the old TV centre in london you’d notice that the paint on the floor 4 button was worn out. Guess which floor the bar was on. Somebody once said “you control the first drink. The drink controls the rest”. One day at a time

[@KG-vr3te]

Some characters pressed that button over the years, I wonder if O'Toole and Richard Harris ever did

[@markburton3306]

@@KG-vr3te I’m sure Oliver Reed and George Best did.

[@1bikerdude]

I tried self medicating with alcohol a year or two after my UN service in Lebanon back in the eighties. After concluding it just wore me out prematurely and just accelerated my own victimization I simply dropped drinking alcohol and focused on functioning without. My job in air traffic control kept me straight & level afterwards. I consider myself to be lucky 😎👍

[@whrog442]

Respect , most likely you're honesty has saved a few precious lives.

[@davidcampbell2845]

Solid advice and excellent support for your team member, Tim. I wish this chap the very best and I hope he finds your words helpful.

[@Somemaysayso]

My dad went through flying in the late 60’s and he was never told he did something well. I think you hit on a good point there.

[@shauncooling1740]

It's nice to see you helping people sometimes a problem shared is a problem solved

[@DieselDSM69]

Much respect to you Tim. Your videos are important to us all.

[@DocHollywood-ut9en]

Like your videos Tim. (You leave me out of breath though) 😊I’m an NHS doctor - with brothers who were in the RAF flying the Tornado and Nimrod so I know a little about service life and aviation culture. We probably have the most unhealthy, toxic, blame centred and emotionally damaging work culture there is in the NHS. It’s still all about being all coping and all knowing. Bullying is rife. We have an unaccountable medical regulator (GMC) who behave like a General Melchett Court Martial..the very antithesis of compassion, any understanding of human factors and looking at all cause rather than finding individual blame. I’m only surprised they don’t stone us yet.. Mental health problems in NHS staff are at an all time high. I drink in the evenings. Alcohol is the best superficial friend at the bar you’ll ever have, and then the worst once that friend turns on you. There is help out there even though this government have run our mental health services into the ground. Navigating it can be a minefield. I’d be happy to try and help your poster in confidence or suggest a starting point for him. Not sure how I’d contact you though? Regards Jamie

[@FastJetPerformance]

Thanks Jamie, people contact me through the website but this guy is an overseas pilot and my sister is a Consultant NHS Psychiatrist so I always send the worst people to her. Interesting we both have family in the military and NHS, ask your bro if we flew together, I was on the Tornado GR4 from 03-07 and flying training thereafter. Thank you for your comment, really useful.

[@DocHollywood-ut9en]

Hi Tim thanks for replying.. much appreciated as I imagine it’s a lot of work and time consuming to reply to the many comments you get. I will do. He was at Lossiemouth around 2002/3 I think but had a three year gap and tour with the Red Arrows. He was also a Tornado Instructor at Lossiemouth. Hope your sister can help or signpost that guy. Pilots like doctors in my experience as patients are often very reluctant to disclose mental health or addiction problems. Not without reason unfortunately. They fear overreaction or disciplinary censure. Often they present late or in crisis. Stigma and ignorance about mental health at a managerial and public level are rife. Some of the most capable and compassionate people I’ve worked with in Medicine have also been the most tortured souls.

[@mathius-hc4yu]

Drinking now - I know I shouldn't, but the evenings are so hard

[@grbeck-uk5433]

Reframing alcohol in your mind can help. Early nights & early morning routines help too. Concentrate on eating the right food & away from the sugary crap stuff. Mental clarity will return. Want a drink? Ginger ale or tonic water… in a whiskey tumbler or gin if you like. One day at a time.

[@JamieWalker-pc6nd]

Simple but very effective advice but only if people put on their shoes and open the door in the morning that’s the hardest part imo

[@grbeck-uk5433]

@@JamieWalker-pc6nd it’s easier to do both without a hangover. A walk - how ever short- over time will help people shake that devil off your back. Intermittently fasting worry consideration too - works for me

[@christopherhambleton9701]

Great video Tim. Really appreciate and respect everything you do.

[@DesHume-l5s]

Great advice Tim, keep strong lads/girls.

[@dilwich]

I have swapped my alcohol addiction for a diet & exercise addiction which i am compulsive about people say it's equally dangerous because the root cause has not been addressed but luckily the only outcome of my new obsession is health . . . . Thanks Tim.

[@JamieWalker-pc6nd]

Na brother that’s a healthy obsession and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. People saying that crap are ones that don’t like you doing better than them 🫡✌️

[@gglehteswhtemnAdChrstns]

Thanks Tim, i’m an ex army/police vet of 17 years in combat roles from Aus. I was once a pro athlete as well in several sports. The wife forced me to leave my career (covert jealousy), then got hit with a severe spinal injury (old police tac injury) which forced me out of my civilian job. She then left me anyway, especially as soon as Aus got woke and women now gets paid 40-50% more than men. I’m suddenly on my own, no family, no wife, no kids. With a spinal injury it’s adds to isolation and shock, how could I be flying so high in life to now being so low? I’ve been on and off the grog to the point where to add to the complexities I got severe pancreatitis which is incredibly painful. No doctor knows how to treat this and the Aus medical system has truly turned to sh#t, with out of pocket expenses rapidly running into the tens of thousands. Everything you’ve said rings true. Thanks for your words which are support in themselves.

[@paulhughes7585]

Superb insight as usual Tim, your videos in regard to alcohol dependency are priceless....Thank you.

[@Fellowtraveller2]

Great video Tim, you are very authentic and your comments are relevant to many of your viewers.

[@zebra3519]

Tim is Ace. I admire this guy a lot. FJP.

[@Bigalldone]

Thankyou Tim. To the guy that reached out to you. Good start mate. You picked one of the best places to start. Peace, take care and keep pushing forward. You will amaze yourself if you do.

[@markflyer]

Great video Tim. Real value just for men in general. The “oversharing” helps the rest of us keeping up the “everything’s fine” charade that men have to do. All the best.

[@KellinoRail]

I never do anything until I'm two seconds away from disaster. I hate it...

[@pdenn1s]

I was like all my life and when I was diagnosed as ADHD later in life it all make sense, now I'm working on it but at least I know what I'm working with.

[@Bear333-o9n]

This is me ,it used to feel like I was testing myself now I see it's whipping.

[@fredfred2363]

There is the complete opposite situation. Anxiety driven life- Assuming things that might go wrong, are going to go wrong. I'm an engineering designer which probably makes it worse. Planning for every eventuality. And I mean any. It can eat you up. Alcohol is often the only way to silence that "what if" voice in your head. Pilots and passengers rely on us engineers making all the right design decisions. The pressure and stress can be unsurmountable. There is an expectation for everything to be perfect.

[@KellinoRail]

@@fredfred2363 I'm the same. I literally spend pretty much every hour of the day planning and working on systems, I'm great at this, but lousy at implementation, unless it's for someone else, in which case I'm great. If I don't have the pressure of guilt for not doing something it doesn't happen. P.S. Not looking for sympathy, just getting it out there.

[@JamieWalker-pc6nd]

@@pdenn1sI’m Pretty sure that what I got but I’m not ready for the dr to Label Me. That or pts…. But I can’t have the label

[@markgr1nyer]

I love you Tim. You do such important work and are so humble about it My stopped drinking 2 months ago after starting to realise I felt I needed it to switch off. Luckily for me this was only 6 months after I started so it was easier for me to stop as I hadn't developed the chemical dependency on it. What made it easiest though was remembering how alcohol killed my amazing mum. I didn't want to end up like her. Another thing that helped was listening to a song by the artist Dax called Dear alcohol mega mix. Talks about what its like to need a drink, then on the last verse is what it's like for those left behind if you don't stop in time. Finding music I relate too is my therapy Stay save and THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU

[@dougdeepdown]

One of the hardest Truths I ever had to learn in Addiction was. "Nobody is coming to save me outside of me" A point you touched on after I wrote this....honestly guvnor! 😂 Thanks Tim good content.

[@Curious-Minds]

Great vid Timbo. My advice to my kids has always been. "No one gives a crap, stop whining, get your s**t together, and push forward"

[@Flowerpot24]

I wish anyone strength and success in overcoming any addictions. However, NO ONE with a job that can endanger civilians should be allowed to do that job until clean and mentally strong.

[@bigjim19741]

Good to see you Tim. The fact the King Air pilot has reached out is the biggest step back up the ladder. Acknowledging the issue is a problem is the hardest thing to do. What remains is the future direction the guy wishes to travel. Only he can make those changes to direct his focus on what the future holds. I too have faced the same end of life plot. Not through alcohol but through a crippling pain condition after an accident which pushed me so far that I was about to cut my own leg off. I really feel for anyone who feels it’s the only way out. But what I know is. Unless you face it head on and take control the only way is downhill fast. I’m in a lot of controlled drugs to manage things plus several surgeries and implants in my spine to scramble the pain signals before they reach my brain. That day I had my leg in a vice a power saw in one hand and a belt wrapped tight about to rid my body of this crippled leg. I had a thought what about my kids. Since then I’ve had help and I wake every day with the mindset of fuck it it’s going to hurt if I sit and do nothing so I now do as much as I physically can until it gets to the point I need to stop. It won’t be my legacy lol because I hit rock bottom and now I fight it every day like it could be my last. King Air pilot needs to do the same. Own the problem don’t let it own you. 😁👍

[@hendongooner7383]

Thank you Tim. Bless you mate. Onwards and upwards

[@jeffjones6107]

Great words for self-help.

[@Bryanmccann1981]

cheers tim legend mate

[@charts3503]

Tim, your support and advice is always welcome. Always great to talk it out and hear another PoV. Your '10 minuters' make me thankful I'm strong enough to go on. I hope others get that too.

[@dougdeepdown]

Calming the inner critic helped me personally too. The "Persecutery" injunction was a problem I got to learn about from a psychology aspect...it helped once I understood the "inner critic" wasn't me it was my "Dead" Mother....she's still alive. 😏Apologies for waffling...still I struggle with it but the recognition of it helped enormously.

[@The_Quand]

This was a really good video Tim. Thank you. Helpful right this moment.

[@markpriestley7884]

Was always told could do better and chasing this remark told it will be on my headstone. Was in the RAF and it still niggles me

[@joschmoyo4532]

Never take school reports seriously. Teacher's who don't inspire their students resort to cheap shots.

[@kiwicate123]

Tim, you’re packed with a mentoring talent. Most of the interesting people I have met have a tendency towards some form of dependency.. The boring ones rarely do.

[@TheBishopOfBarton]

I listened to every second of that video, Tim. Your searing honesty and desire to reach out and help is deeply moving. "No-one is coming to save you from yourself" - I guess so many of our problems as men growing old stem from what gives us a sense of value and worth. It becomes more and more of a spiritual problem I think, however you want to define "spiritual". If everything fails around us, if our relationships fail, if our skills deteriorate, if our job value disappears as we get sidelined for younger guys, where do we get our sense of worth from? Somehow we have to find an intrinsic reason to be here which is not connected to what we do, but who we are. Being a person that reaches out and desires to help and improve the lives of others is a truly noble calling and I know your videos go a long way to helping a lot of people. KZbin would be an emptier place without you. Hope you never look at those beams again.

[@luciusesox1luckysox570]

It's Sunday morning and the algorithm bought me here. I'm not a real pilot, I'm into flight sims, I have a drink problem. The two coalesced and here I am. Your point about "rock bottom" struck a chord with me. My own situation is I am a very good manager of my alcohol usage which means I can hover and keep things together without going over the top. The fact that my life revolves around creating times to drink whilst doing minimal damage to me and my life misses out the obvious. The very act of not wanting to hit rock bottom and the effort I put into not happening is fucking my life up big time, I'm not living I'm existing, I'm trapped. I am, like you, someone who needs to do things the hard way for them to feel worthwhile and your comments have made me wonder if this is what I am getting out of it and my deepening bad feelings are just awareness of this... Hmmm. Nice one good stuff matey :)

[@devondave118]

Tim Top video you might of just saved Someone's Life . Great advice Thank you

[@glennjones3186]

Mate, I am watching you at 13 minutes! I was dependent on opiate pain killers after a car accident, gave up flying, life etc. and turned it around. I love your message and agree with everything you say. More power to you

[@MrSteeeevo]

I’m in the military - I stopped drinking 2 years ago. Drinking for me often went to the level I wouldn’t remember half the night the next day. Then I tried to drink moderately - I found that doesn’t work in the military - people see you with a beer and then expect you to go rounds, will include you when they’re buying shots, will pull you into drinking games. The game changer for me was to stop drinking. Now I just say “I don’t drink” and to my surprise I didn’t get any abuse, turns out nobody cares. But by not drinking I’d get home at a reasonable time, save a lot of money, have good conversations with people. Also I felt more in control - if you’re not drinking, when you say you’re off home, nobody argues. As for being embarrassed about not drinking - who cares? You’re worried about being judged by a bunch of drunks? When I go away with work I’m often the only one not getting drunk - it does take some balls to not do what everyone else is doing - but trust me - on some level not drinking is respected.

[@tonyhaynes9080]

I didn't drink whilst I was in the RAF. I was happy on coke or orange squash. I was usually the designated driver, but still had the piss taken out of me by so many. Saw so many marriages ruined by beer calls and alcohol. Nowadays it's more acceptable not to drink in civvie street, but not sure about in the mob.

[@Parawingdelta2]

Great video. I'm sure it will give those with a drinking problem some direction. I have no idea why people would feel embarrassed about 'not' drinking in the company of those who are. I drink, but depending on how I feel, I'll often just have a Coke or something while others have a beer.

[@lyonsjosh1]

Some very hard truths here, hope it helps some folks

[@Horizon344]

No one's coming to save you from yourself, .... but Davies will try. Good upload, well done.

[@Bad_Gnasher]

Would recommend to anyone to quit alcohol. Loved you D-Day video on Lotus.

[@BaronFlyingClub]

I think the fact his relationship with his mrs is the major factor for his depression.

[@joschmoyo4532]

Bad pilots always blame their wife when the wife catches them cheating. Two sides to every story.

[@Anthony-wg9lu]

Hi Tim , great video. Don't be hard on yourself. I knew I needed to change but just couldn't. Rock bottom eliminated my ability to put off doing the hard work and forced my hand. What helped for me was finding things bigger than my own limited , self critical, sense of self. I knew I was on the right track when I could laugh at my own ridiculous antics and share honestly about how f'd up id gotten.

[@4_times_college_dropout_tr24]

For men younger than 40s there's a meme on the internet of all a guy needing in his home is a tv, internet and a chair. It's true and you can live like this for a long long time. Sometimes it can just take 10 years or more of sitting infront of a screen, in pain and aging, to come to some realisations. Powerful things like people close to you dying and something inside your brain (without your own conscious awareness) triggers and you start changing behaviours. Average young person won't have to attend many funerals but over a certain age it can happen multiple times a year. It just changes things. Sometimes you just have to wait as long as possible and take the impact full on when it arrives. It's one hell of a rocky balboa approach to just continue everyday, even feeling insane. Anyone doing that gets understanding from me, even if it feels things are falling apart through inaction (impact on others can feel the worst). It can feel like helplessly turning a rubix cube until one day it solves. Until the next shift.

[@JamieWalker-pc6nd]

It’s actually a brilliant meme

[@JamieWalker-pc6nd]

& your comment is 👌

[@xfire7]

You're right the evening is horrible. I was drinking every other night and I was miserable on the non drinking nights . Unfortunately I'm really not doing the days off anymore 😕

[@PhilWare1]

Good video, well done for sharing and providing good advice.

[@Dstew57A]

“I fuckin own that like a boss”, I love you for that dude!

[@fredfred2363]

Yep.

[@thirstyworks1465]

Hats off. Stay strong

[@sladehelicoptersgaming3148]

I know a couple of pilots that lost their jobs because of drinking ! Heart goes out to them

[@palleh.jensen4648]

Thanks Tim, always blue skies.

[@zebra3519]

Besides SAI, crimes against humanity.

[@icolky5272]

I was never an alcoholic or a pilot but I was an addict for a long piece of my my life. My personal battle was with heroin. I’m thankfully about a decade clean at the moment. Perhaps I can’t as in some ways I think alcohol can be a tougher fight as it’s harder to stay away from I think. I can relate with how tough beating something like this is and the damage it reads. On you and your family’s lives. Please keep fighting and never give up. There are so many people out there who will do all they can to help. Without knowing your story I can’t really offer any advice other than remember you can find your way to win this battle and keep talking to people and never don’t take help or advise and remember every day you beat it is a big win.

[@icolky5272]

On the suicide thing. I did have a period where I thought about it. I also had a friend who did it. What I’ll say is in a year or however lomg time you’ll look back and think thanks god I’d didn’t

[@jcolt188]

Awesome vid Tim, good perspective, aviation is a tough gig in so many respects, keep grafting and putting this good shit out!

[@DavidcCbrider]

Tim your a great help . We all need to open up and get help when we need it . Drink is part of service life and thats a fact . When we retire or come to the end of our service term theres no support or help. Stress and the life style is a killer and drink just compounds all of that. I know to my cost . Destroyed marrage lost time the list goes on . What your doing on your stream is a great help and lets hope that people that need help go and get it. Great work Tim. 👍👍👍👍

[@leviercosmicwind]

I think outside exercise is enormously beneficial. Walking, jogging, coach-to-5k, whatever. A bored evening instead spent outside in the countryside is fantastic. Loneliness is another big issue. So it's important to find a social outlet, or a hobby. Just keep plugging away.

[@samuelgarrod8327]

It's a battle. Thanks Tim. 👊👍

[@matthewrowe9903]

Thanks for this video boss hope it helps the young man

[@karennadin5821]

Brilliant Tim, … spot on.

[@johnnyskehan1266]

Hi Tim, your video wasn't too long and it was great, very honest.👍 I'm sorry to hear about that pilot. In my situation I stopped drinking 3 years ago, I was lucky, I wasn't exactly at rock bottom but close, I wanted to stop at that stage. My advice to that pilot is to take it one day at a time, he is going to have to change his behaviour and possibly friends/drinking buddies. I stopped going to the pub for about 6 months and when back I drank non alcoholic for a couple of years but now I rarely go to a pub, I have absolutely no interest in it anymore. It's a very hard thing to stop drinking but after a while it gets easier and my life is a whole lot better now. I hope that chap get himself some help if he can't do it alone. He could try Alcoholics Anonymous. That's my tuppence hope it helps.

[@glennvarley1481]

13 minutes…..I’m still listening and very interested in your journey. Thanks, I’ve just subscribed.

[@FastJetPerformance]

Good to meet you Glenn 👍

[@ivanconnolly7332]

I remember seeing the first 10 minutes of a movie starring Cliff Robertson as an alcoholic pilot, Before the credits his airliner is flying low over death valley as the sun goes down, Cliff hands over to his co-pilot and goes to the loo where he puts away a mug of vodka before returning to his seat, I had to to work and missed the rest of the film, but what a dangerous habit.

[@johnnunn8688]

Back in the early to mid 70s, I was at RAF Kemble servicing the 4 Sqn Gnats and Red Arrows. The groundcrew and pilots would routinely give themselves a burst of 100% oxygen from the aircraft system, prior to work and flying. Great for a hangover/still pissed.

[@llywnogmawr5853]

Did the same at Valley , very effective.👍

[@JamieWalker-pc6nd]

That’s f funny. I was at a music festival when on leave i the paras. I saw the “oxygen bar” and walked over. Was entirely occupied by “chair force” 😂😂😂 Now I know why…. Does work though

[@DragonsBeard444]

I moved job recently from a slightly isolated role to a more isolated role and it definitely makes a noticeable difference. I am glad and lucky that my main hobby is a social one, martial arts or sports classes a few evenings a week is getting me out of the house and around other people, and it's some routine and continuity.

[@andymodeller965]

As a guy who's just turned 60 - I think it's in our 'male' make-up - psyche - thought process - call it what you like - to - not feel you are enough - have done enough - are doing enough. I feel society kind of keeps reminding us of this whether it's true or not. Keeping busy is a great way to keep from returning to a drinking lifestyle. Do anything - running - weights - hobby - charity work - anything to keep your hands and mind active. Don't stop these videos. Great content. 👍

[@malfunction8165]

Nobody's coming to me, so I go to them. It's out there, even if it's a stranger on a ferry, as happened to me, sitting there listening to this fellows life story, I felt good just for being there when he needed somebody, there is always somebody, that's how the universe works.

[@samrodian919]

Tim I was still watching at 13 minutes! And I suspect many others were too. Thanks Tim. I've had at least 35 years on the sauce constantly every night until last September when I decided that I really needed the serious spine operation I had been offered in 2018, and it had been cancelled twice due to my diabetic control. I went cold Turkey in mid September last year. I didn't drink again until over Christmas and now I have a drink one evening every seven or eight days, my doctor is cool with that given my previous history. I never in a million years thought I could give up drinking because I didn't think I had the self will. The first 72 hours was bloody murder, but after that it got easier and easier and I couldn't believe it. Now I'm waiting for a date for the op, had the pre op tests this week. No I won't go back on the sauce full time. I don't think I can afford to now the prices for everything has gone up so much and I'm on a fixed income of old age pension and a very small local government one. I'm sure your Canadian guy can turn it around, but he needs a goal to aim for to do it. Go back to Canada mate and see your wife and kids.

[@TheFleetflyer]

No one is coming to save you but you. Sometimes it’s ok to be your own hero.

[@jammervision4751]

Couple of things. I always warn my male First Officers, “watch out for your wives when they are approaching 40.” 70-80 percent of divorces are now being initiated by women. I am not blaming feminism, but women are pre menopausal at this stage in their life and are going through hormonal changes. There is nothing that you can do if they have made up their mind to leave. Pilots being pilots cannot stand failure and in this situation failure of a relationship is the breaking point. Especially if you grew up with that person and feel responsible to them and their family for that matter. Pilots will even stay in a bad relationship to not admit failure. Second, I have read that people who are more sensitive ,turn to alcohol, because they are a caring person and it really bothers them. Just remember that. It will take a couple of years to get better. I found a new wife , who is way better looking and a great woman. I am so much more happy.😂 Tim, if this is your legacy to help people, not just being a good pilot, this is very commendable . I follow Better Bachelor on youtube, this gentleman has some great views on life as well. Form your own opinion as well.

[@joschmoyo4532]

Civilian pilots have an awful reputation for cheating on their wives and the very nature of their work makes it so easy and tempting. But the real golden rule is this. Never lie to your wife. She will find out, she will know all the body language signs that betray your well crafted bull. Better Bachellor is a euphemism for closet bisexuality. Your not kidding anyone with that ego driven bluster mate. Poseurs aren't closers. They are drifters and braggers. Regular military pilots are notorious for being two main type's. Family men or over familiar men. The later easily tends towards alcohol and stimulant abuse to maintain the fiction. If your not fit for family stay single. Your wife does not deserve to be treated as a free house keep while you take long hot showers...

[@cr3752]

Well said and spot on because I've been there and still fighting it.

[@joschmoyo4532]

@@cr3752 I'm assuming your reply is addressed to me. Not all pilot's are highly strung adrenaline junkies with self esteem issues, but it is a common problem aggravated by military culture. The other issue is spousal abuse and lack of support for wives. All to often pilot's are bisexual and have an ambiguous or conflicted attitude to women. Behind most alcohol abuse is a history of childhood sexual abuse. The military offers a safe space for all sorts of individuals driven by internal conflicts looking for an outer one to express it ! Pilot's are notorious for bragging about being pilot's. It's compensation station. Bold pilot syndrome. Macho overkill. The biggest problem is the culture and blaming a failed marriage on female hormones ! ? So you can dump your wife for someone younger and prettier ? That's pilot officer excuses. The ones they cook up at the bar with a man to man chat.

[@pointblankracer6274]

Great advise , hit some home truths there.

[@dreamchaser9569]

Its hard to get away from the military has a very hard drinking culture

[@flybobbie1449]

Told this 20 years ago by ex Lightening pilot. I assume station life is boring. We were in bar and he asked if we wanted a pint. One lad said i'll have an orange. Pilot replied you won't go far on orange. Hope the culture changed.

[@flybobbie1449]

Same with airlines, crew bored in hotels.

[@jimmymc10021]

Loads of jobs have a drinking culture, it's all just an excuse. If you want to stop, stop. It's a mindset for most people not an addiction.

[@Lonsome1223]

YES, 24 hours between the bottle and the throttle. All civil and military pilots should be breath tested before flying.

[@nautiluscrew8776]

Great video.

[@tonyhaynes9080]

Unfortunately the entertainment scene in the military revolves around alcohol. Beer calls. Meet and greet. Dining in. To mention just three. A pilot I knew on ten squadron had been accepted as a civilian pilot, but was breathalysed before leaving the RAF. He was worried that it would affect his application, even though he was below the limit.

[@WMW-82]

I was the same on the ale 10 or 12 cans a night after work at its worse, started hitting it real hard at 18 after diagnosis of degenerative bone condition. It put a stop to me doing what i wanted since a kid time passed n before I knew it t was box of 12 after work every single night until I had that day when your reaching 40 and realise your not actually that immortal after all and you realise you middle aged not the whipper snapper you used to be. I ws lucky in a way as my health gt worse i just couldn't be bothered with it and cut down to 4 then 0 and haven't touched another can since. To guy with email- I wish you best of luck pal things do get better, i couldn't believe ppl saying that when 20 year marriage ended but it does get better focus on you and learn to enjoy your next chapter in life you got this brother 👍🏼

[@ПосольствоРусскихПисателей]

Well done.

[@danielcoakley9109]

Hi Tim please stop battering yourself for your videos being too long. They are brilliant and honest. Honesty has greater value than anything else. Going backwards? It depends on how you interpret your present/current circumstances. Is disaster looming or opportunity coming. Re: the Canadian guy you are referring to. I have only flown buzzboxes C152 etc. I think all GOOD! Pilots tell themselves they need to improve. If you ever tell yourself you are brilliant it feels like you are in a dangerous place. Good pilots have a healthy fear of getting caught out and getting killed. I was told I was too old to be an Airline Pilot at the age of 27 ffs.I have never flown King Air or Bae Hawk but give it half a chance a C152 will kill you no problem. Always be proud whatever flying you have done. I feel just as much elation learning about a 17 year old girl completing her first solo in a C152 and watching a NASA pilot returning from a long mission on the space shuttle. It's the same shit. Last year my wife was in hospital where she was for two months after suffering catastrophic mental breakdown. We couldn't afford our home any longer and I headed for Stratford which my gut told me was my best option. I slept in my old Volvo the first night. At around 05:00 hrs I got out of the car and sat on the bonnet watching the Sun come up the dew on the grass birds singing and a hare running around. What was going through my mind. I am here first and foremost enjoying all of this. No boss to appease etc. Rock bottom isn't as bad as I thought I felt free and empowered. I have all my hours in my logbbook I have some pension saved from a previous job. I put myself out on FB locally and f*** Me I was in demand. I soon found a proper place to live would you believe a swish apartment in a grade 2 listed building a respected member of staff within SOA top attraction and thankfully my wife is back living with me and our daughter looks forward to visiting us regularly. Re the guy you are talking about. Disaster or opportunity?

[@andrewbram7314]

Seriously really helpful I'm drink dependent 😢

[@hoozleup]

Hey mate, good video, I like your attitude. Serious topic but you still crack me up at times. Good stuff. I'm ex-military too (ground crew but deployed with the bombers around the world a bit in mid 80's and 90's). Fun times but did we (all) hit the piss. Mid 50 's now and trying hard to give it away after nearly 40 years of throwing it down my neck. I love it but I realise it is a complete waste of time and money. Will try harder. I know life is better without it. Good work mate. Have subscribed.

[@twosix5444]

My 2p, speaking as an enthusiastic alcoholic back in the old days I decided to give it up. I found that finding something to do that was engrossing at home when I usually would have been in the pub helped a lot, it was probably World of Warcraft back then. Perhaps I just replaced one addictive thing for another (World Of WarCrack) More importantly when giving up the booze.....Finding something nice to drink, not just fizzy pop but nice juices helps a lot. I think dry ginger Ale did it for me. You fairly quickly get to the point where you just don't want to have alcohol. It also takes a long time for that craving to go away, years....... Also cannabis. I know it's a terrible thing for those that run the gauntlet of "drug testing" to even THINK about using, as it stays "detectable" in your system for days or even months. However it does help a lot with the cravings. It's well proven that cannabis can help with alcohol withdrawal. I would love to see it recommended for this use more freely. I don't know why it isn't widely medically recommended for alcohol replacement/detox. Perhaps your guy need to move to a place where he can have a break and have some good weed and de-tox. CBD might be ok as well, not so illegal and it's available on prescription or even over the counter now in many places. Apart from that I think your guy need to take a holiday. His job and working environment sounds horrible and there is nothing worse than doing something you hate and feel trapped in. I can't advise on career moves never having had one. I went for more than ten years of not drinking more than a handful of times a year, I started drinking again with more enthusiasm three years ago due to the stress of relentless government psychological warfare with operation covid etc (and cos all the pubs where shut).....anyway I have a much better relationship with the boozing now I am older, I can take it or leave it.

[@life_happens_reviews]

Tim; i have not fallen around nor made huge mistakes in drink but it's my mindset around alcohol as i purchase alcohol i get to the puking part drink to over full not to get drunk but the feeling of escapism i am now forty six and a woman and drinking as a biological female is still frowned on whereas guys get the back thumps and bought booze by mates etc - tim; it's the wanting to get blotto as in escape from the crap in life but i recently found out that malibu coconut rum and sparkling drinks which water it down just don't get me drunk which is so frustrating and this IS alcoholism

[@simonsolo7750]

Hello Tim. I've suffered from alcoholism for a number of years and drug misuse as well. I have been getting help and I'm nearly there. Horrible. I've managed to start my own youtube channel. I'm looking to getting back into work next year. The money will help me and I need to be getting some money in because my Cat Meg is 15 now and getting old and there is no help for medical bills. I will get back into work. Like you were saying we need to luck after ourselves because others depend on us. Me and Meg are a family and I will take care of us. All the best Simon 👍.

[@grahamhaynes3420]

Being a hgv driver most off the drivers a my place are heavy drinkers it’s there way too wind down after a week of driving my self I have cut down a lot because I take out my ex racing greyhound’s the keep me off the drink and I love taking them out early morning something I would never do when drinking all time

[@bobg1069]

Hi Tim, just a quick observation. Its as much about the company you keep, as it is sitting and drinking alone. In many ways, the company you keep is the bigger danger. Alone, I'm fine. I have stuff to do to keep me busy. In the company of drinking buddies, its very hard to avoid drinking. My friends now understand that evening meals, meeting in pubs, holidays with mates, they are all out for me. Shame, but it is what it is. We meet in daytime, in the coffee shop instead

[@totalutternutter]

I couldn't stop drinking until i came to terms with the fact that it's healthy to be poorly adjusted to living in a sick environment. Change your environment and the need to adjust your perception dissipates.

[@charlieboy418]

I'm an old guy with just over 45 years sober. I am fortunate not to have any allergies but if I consumed alcohol my life could be unimaginable so all I have had to do for having some control over what I have to do is just stay away from booze. I can eat anything that I want or drink anything but stay just away from alcohol. I don't even think about it anymore, it isn't part of my world, like they say, life isn't fair but I can cope easier with it's ups and downs with a clear head.

[@KurttankT]

You are a good person, I’m listening 👍

[@pilkipilki4472]

Nice to hear a man talking to men

[@mitter81]

I never noticed, but you are right I respond and perform better to criticisms, than compliments - I go back reassess and try and do better, suicide yes that can enter thought train, alcohol - my missus and I drunk heavily for years - but she hit bottom before me, and I got fed up having to deal with her, and just quit, my missus has become so dependent she's in care has been for last 7 years, I took it upon myself to quit drinking and take my boys around Europe, in bars etc, evenings I drink coffee, tea, soft drinks etc, my not drinking helped me help my sons, but I am still impacted my missus still my missus, now in stages of muscular atrophy / myopathy and that plays heavily on my emotions. To counter that and also have reason to isolate and not visit her in UK so often, I took on a puppy, he's now 8 months old. If I hadn't see my missus go under first, it would have only been a matter of time for myself. When I joined the RAF I was slender and fit, and when I left had a beer gut and skin problems, then went to Germany but didn't stop the drink. how it started for both of us, was lets buy a couple of bottles of wine and drink one each, to take the edge off and that became a daily thing, and eventually ended up with bottles jaeger meister hidden around house, fights, problems and two kids going off the rails with dysfunctional parents, that is behind me now -- and I live in Spain, difficulty with relationship still plays my mind. I have to own that, I share some burden for taking my missus with me on same journey I do have advice recognise that little thing -- "a drink to take the edge off " red flag, indicating an emotional issue needing addressed. (take notice please) (re how you sir mentioned in a different video nail biting)