Why everyone is wrong about interracial dating

[@beyondaboundary6034]

The following things are true at the same time: 1) Some people are in interracial relationships for the wrong reasons (internalized self-hate on the part of some Black folks, or exoticism/fetishism on the part of some white folks). All people in IRRs should not be equated with them, but we all know these people exist and can be loud and annoying. 2) In the context of Black-white IR dating and marriages, given the racism and/or misogyny of some swirlers and the history of the USA, it is understandable that some Black women resent Black men dating/marrying white women, and some Black men resent Black women dating/marrying white men. 3) Despite factors 1-2, opposition to interracial relationships is a reactionary position that is almost always based on either pseudoscientific biological assumptions about race and/or logically dubious nationalist-collectivist demands for racial loyalty. 4) If you're going to do the swirl, just STFU about it and be a decent person, and most of the world doesn’t care. It is mostly corny, ignorant, or egotistical people creating problems around this issue.

[@OFFICIALSDSK]

i would say more than some lol

[@IshtarNike]

Preach!

[@royalgardner2]

THIS!!

[@munchkingod6]

The part that’s WILD to me is how many POC (online at least) jump to full on white nationalist brain worms over the topic. It’s so depressing seeing the same sort of essentialist bullshit just aligned the other way coming from the mouths of people who should know better. I wish we had a better way to point out that actually it’s not woke to just go the other way. Obviously it’s not a comparable threat, but if we want to build a better world it’s got to be built on good foundations, not the same essentialist bullshit with a swapped palette.

[@freddyP300]

I agree I always say I have no issue with responsible IRs, but we need common sense regulations! I’m talking background checks, waiting periods and review boards before a social media post. Basically the same things I believe we need for podcasts lol (\j)

[@beaker6158]

Coming from a black woman, who was taught by those inside and out of her race that my blackness made me undesirable: ladies, you are more than enough and deserve all the love in the world. Find the person, whether it be a friend or partner, black or other, that honors this truth for you.

[@tristanband4003]

Trust me: there are a lot of people who find black women irresistable.

[@camille3083]

That doesn’t mean that they will marry a black woman. Just because a man will sleep with you doesn’t mean anything. As black women we have to take our time with non black men to ensure they aren’t using us for an ego boost and or for flings.

[@chrislyn1868]

@@tristanband4003statistically, that’s debatable.

[@tristanband4003]

@@chrislyn1868 i was talking in absolute numbers, not percentages.

[@tristanband4003]

@@ilikepancakes2368 Don't rule out anyone

[@joyk1288]

“Travis went from ‘Ayy shordy what it is?’ to ‘License and registration please.” Is exactly the kind of commentary I come here for 😂

[@Tangerinesorbet]

So funny and true! And sad, at the same time. I don’t see why anybody would be interested romantically with a guy like that. Mask changing because of who you date.

[@freedomm]

It's funny because it's true. But what is even funnier, is that his black women fanbase was offended a white man is dating a white woman. This is some mind-boggling surreal sh*t.

[@saami9606]

i cracked up laughing at that

[@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460]

@@freedomm OMG, that is so true!!! You got me cracking up in here!!! 🤣😅😆 The funny thing for me is that I didn't know who Travis was until *the actual friggin news networks started talking **_Non Stop_** about him and the Mayonnaise Singer.* Before that, I saw him on Saturday Night Live once, but didn't know _why_ he was hosting.

[@Sarah-re7cg]

F.D has so many wicked one-liners 😂

[@Doomer253]

That last bit with Sojourner Truth's actual words being changed by a white woman because she thought it was too eloquent and not black sounding enough.....maaaaaannnnn that knocked me out.

[@tacrewgirl]

Same

[@bored4161]

Somehow I didn’t know about it being changed before, and something about it truly is horrifying. I remember that speech from school and I really wanted to write a comment trying to explain the type of despair it made me feel but I don’t think I can. Just a strong reminder of how deeply the sickness runs.

[@ShawnC.W-King]

And that my friends is every black person collectively telling that white woman that she totally missed the entire point and the irony went way over her head.

[@NunchuckPup]

This was almost as big a surprise to me as my first time learning about the Tulsa massacre. So much truth buried under empty gestures of "diversity" by liberal media. Fiq, thank you for doing your part to share this truth with us 🙏

[@Mariposa-11-2007]

Yup. And, of course.

[@fullmetal929]

"Why are black women so angry?" he says angrily. That shit's wild.

[@DenelsiaWalker]

I have let go of anger. AA men do your thang! Another passport brother has passed. To the ones not longer here. RIP. 👍🏿🙏🏿❤ One of the head starters of the movement is now in Africa. You cannot go to other countries, mistreat their women, and expect no repercussions. AA women have been fighting for almost 300,000 years. Naw, I'm good.

[@Zeltron-yy4yw]

@@DenelsiaWalkerdamn 🫡

[@hattiethehandler2992]

I work with a few black men and they all have white/ Latina partners. They were always pretty rude and short with me, but when they found out my partner was also not black they were all a sudden angry and disrespectful with me. It’s literally the only thing we have in common, I just didn’t make it my personality.

[@Princetonian4eva]

This is sadly fairly common with black men who date out. It’s the self hate mixed with jealousy because society has traditionally ranked men above women and then non-black people above black people. So, those that subconsciously buy into this see you as being chosen by someone more valuable than both them and the partner they chose. So technically you have higher status because you are with someone with a higher status. It’s messed up for sure but they can’t harp on about how horrible black women are when someone with a higher status than them or their partner chose to be with a black women. The logic crumbles and they’re forced to confront their demons or get mad. Crazy

[@rf3575]

This…. Some black men make it a point to be disrespectful to Black women and highlight their non-black partners… But when they find out that you too have a non-black partner 🫣. Rage, hate, bewilderment… it’s wild. I think they expect black women to remain single. And I will also say their non-black partners are also perturbed, especially if your non-black partner is of their same group. Like the equation was never suppose to go that way. Non-black women are great, but never engage with their brothers. And black men are great, but never engage with his sisters… What 😂

[@jewlzn7130]

​@Princetonian4eva that is such an interesting take. I never thought about it that way!

[@KrisDeLaRash]

Heavy on the "I don't make it my personality"

[@EverTheAnnihilator]

​​@@Princetonian4eva I was just saying this yesterday! How a lot of black men who date interracially will create narratives about black women "craving validation" from white men because they, themselves, see non-black people as our betters who can affirm our (black people's) worth. They keep forcing this imaginary competition of who is more desired by the "betters" only to repeatedly run into the wall of contending with a massive fear of being inadequate to white men.

[@Miglohara]

Umar Johnson is the epitome of someone who can rattle off a bunch of takes that are 100% spot-on, but then say something so cartoonishly absurd that it immediately distracts from whatever valid points he'd just made.

[@KayleneRomero-oz7yz]

Lol

[@m.d.1395]

He's Oswald Bates... for real

[@shane2863]

Easy to have some good takes when you are simply regurgitating great minds before you. Harder to have good takes when it's time to draw your own conclusions.

[@rosewrath_s_revenge]

He's a reactionary traditionalist to the bone. Media savvy enough to know what will provoke.

[@MorganMingo70]

😂😂😂😂 This comment is freakin hilarious!!!

[@kaymitchell6143]

My sociology professor 5 years ago told me about the over representation of interracial couples in the media. He was biracial (black and white with a white mother) himself but he was born in the 50s. He said that he remembered barely seeing any families that looked like his and now instead of seeing Black families in media all he sees are interracial families. He said that the “browning” of America will be the excuse the media uses to justify their lack of positive Black media. He told us to watch how they’ll keep putting interracial families or a black family with one racially ambiguous “black” person and then act like we’re crying over nothing. I remember thinking that class was so pointless as a biology major. 😂😂

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

Hit the nail. Hollywood default ideas of black woman is essentially zendaya, when it comes to trauma content then boom everyone is dark skin

[@UhOhJacquinette]

@@wrestlinganime4life288this is why my video About biracial Being separated from mono racial blackness is key.

[@HunnifredBee]

I wonder if you saw the video FD did as a response seemingly to the one drop rule / including mixed folks in Blackness?

[@TheLilly]

BIG FACTS

[@TheLilly]

BIG FACTS

[@shirokahugu4562]

I love these videos but the more I learn about what it is to be a black person in America, the more sad I feel for black people in America and the diaspora. As an African woman (Kenyan woman) I realize what a prelilage it is to have grown up in a country and continent where black people are the majority. I grew up watching and reading things written and portrayed by people who look like me. Standards of beauty have been affected by European standards of beauty because... colonialism but we value what have here. I'm not saying that proximity to whiteness is not seen as better or favored it is because... colonialism. But it doesn't color every moment of every day like it seems to in America and the west in general. I hope that every single black person in America especially gets to live or visit Africa or places in the diaspora where they are not the minority. To experience something different than their existence in predominantly white societies.

[@mandyharewood886]

It is the same here in the Caribbean as in your country.

[@wrs446]

🇰🇪❤️

[@AndrewFloydWebber]

I’ve only watched a little of this guy’s videos but please don’t fall for his propaganda nonsense. Black “activists” are some of the ones most guilty of pushing race and racism in America. The Marxists are pushing it heavily like never before.

[@vintowin33]

Thank you 🙏🏽 I wish they had given us all dual citizenship to any country in Africa. At least give us some sense of connection to our ancestors and culture.

[@AndrewFloydWebber]

I see my first reply got stricken down; someone must fear the truth. Don’t readily believe everything this guy says; the people on his political side are pushing racial issues and division and act like it’s still 1960 here. It’s mostly a Marxist plot.

[@ollybygolly9326]

I spent my teens in a predominantly white liberal city and was in an interracial relationship. The amount of times white strangers congratulated us on the street for holding hands was truly bizarre and the segment on interracial couples in ads was on point with that experience.

[@ericzajdel4259]

I would prefer that response to some of the more "traditional" response here in America..

[@PoeticMachineDreams]

I had a slur spat at me next to the highway by some old white guy (in Alberta, not US)

[@ShinMail6164]

​@@ericzajdel4259 I mean sure but I would like to emphasize that its still shitty. Sure it could be worse, but we can recognize that all options suck

[@akphison]

Funnily enough me and my black wife live in very red state and also get compliments at a disproportionate rate but given the context clues of the interaction we both always saw it as white republican types trying to show their not racist.

[@lachlainegordon806]

@@PoeticMachineDreamsyeah Alberta is screwed up, I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’m from Alberta too and i hate it.

[@dune-z2707]

Imma put it out there. I also need to see more platonic black love. Like we dont even have that. We dont have images of black folks caring for eachother just cause love but ESPECIALLY amongst black men and women. Low-key this what made Nope one of my favorite movies in recent history. Like of course theyre siblings but i also think like damn.... how much do i see black brother sister duo portrayed like that. Also why soiderpunk is the best aprt of across

[@ReshonBryant]

That's what I'm talking about. It's nothing to just tell people no means no and walk off💁🏽‍♂️

[@gayles76]

Totally agree 👏🏾👏🏾

[@Audreylalaland]

Completely agree

[@pennyforyourthots]

Spiderpunk is my new inspiration.

[@spaghetto9836]

Ace here, and _yes._ Especially ones that aren't done performatively.

[@hustle_simmons]

My hairline ain't crisp cause I'm broke lmao. These bills, rent and rising costs of a barbershop visit been whooping my ass. I swear my girl is black Unc 😭

[@Chipster988]

😂

[@wombat7961]

Hair cuts get more expensive as you age... was 10-20$ as a teenager, currently 60-100$ in california for working adults by appointment. That hairline stereotype seemed like a gross oversimplification lol.

[@Udontkno7]

I'm growing freeform locs rn. I ain't shaping shit! but yes, I'm a trans black man trying sooo hard to find another black man.

[@Jsmoove8k]

Dawg search up lineup/fade videos on youtube and line yourself up 😂😂 Im my own barber now and it saves so much money plus it’s a nice skill / hobby to have

[@pennyforyourthots]

My barber shop closed because they couldn't afford the rent anymore. I'm just letting it grow free and picking it out, and I'm starting to look like my dad from the 70's.

[@demetriusmorris8436]

I LOVE that you fuck with supereyepatchwolf! He was one of my first introductions to video essayists. Y’all are so eloquent and diligent, thank both of you guys so much!

[@tw6704]

I'm Black dating an Asian guy and there's absolutely no representation in American media for us. Its almost always white/another race. It's partially why I hold the 90's Cinderella so close to heart because seeing that representation just hit different for me.

[@jaytb5815]

Invincible’s Amber + Mark is the ONLY example I can think of.

[@MiaMia-lb2iy]

Gen V too

[@Crazy_Diamond_75]

My wife grew up watching that version of Cinderella, and we have since watched it together several times. It is incredibly charming.

[@aboutashow]

That's why I went to see the movie Boogie- the rep was okay. Insecure and Lovebirds are the only other two I can think of

[@A-M4]

Molly and Andrew from insecure!

[@shewilikers]

as a black woman, that sojourner truth factoid just knocked the wind out of me. like I had to sit down and catch my breath

[@shewilikers]

thanks for the always incredible vids FD!! love ur work 💜✊🏾

[@sarahharkins182]

Yeah. Just wow.

[@ereristark425]

I immediately went to read the original speech vs the remake and Y'ALL. I actually screamed.

[@djntu2964]

That’s white allies for ya…

[@OGseoulite]

What section was that? I think I missed that part while I was cooking

[@jjstarA113]

Not gonna lie I do wish there were more videos discussing interracial couples that are two POC, as these relationships seem a little more on the fringes of both real life and in the media.

[@gemain609]

Absolutely, mainstream interracial/interethnic dating is x race + white. Only movie I can think of with a PoC interracial/ethnic couple is that Issa Rae one on Netflix where she's dating a SE Asian man.

[@b0nitaapplebum]

Lol I always get irritated at movies nowadays cause they wanna make every couple interracial to like what be more inclusive? Idk like they wanna add a POC but not take out the white person…just take the white person out…they don’t gotta be in every movie 😂

[@WastedBananas]

se asian? what is that like Filipino?@@gemain609

[@ookamiblade6318]

In my experience, as in my own family, those parings just aren’t as controversial. My family got away with two interracial marriages prior to Loving vs state of Virginia one on a technicality, he was a Russian Jew so phenotypically white, but not socially.

[@roolime]

​@gemain609 The most recent one that sticks out to me is his reference to the controversy about Into the Spiderverse. They are so concerned about him darting Gwen when he is the child of an interracial couple. His mom is Latina and his dad is black and they are both obviously present and relevant to that movie. It's only important if white people are involved to these critics, even when they are faced with two POCs together from different ethnicities in the exact same story.

[@JohnCloccwork]

For one week, I took a picture every time I saw a black man with a partner or children. I only saw one or two commercials where a black man was with a black woman. All others featured black men with nonblack partners or biracial children.

[@charlesreid9337]

NOT very far in the past the only commercials you would see with poc in them were commercials with Only poc in them.. targetted at the poc demographic. When you find yourself upset at progress perhaps you need to read up on what your parents and grandparents faced instead of saying things far right terrorists would say

[@sincerely5906]

As a Black woman in an interracial marriage, it’s bizarre seeing the amount of IR advertising in the media because I feel it’s not a true reflection of current society. Like most ppl date/marry within their race. The advertising feels forced tbh 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]

fr. i see more gay WM couples than BWWM couples.

[@freedomm]

In the UK, interracial advertising is the default, to the point of absurdity. It's virtually impossible for a black person to be paired with another black person because of artificial quotas that do not reflect the reality of society.

[@pysq8]

I've noticed this since the 90s, starting with the racially ambiguous women (with the mixedish hair lol)...I thought it was a clever way for companies to 'check a lot of boxes' in visual representation... now it kind of stings, seeing as how it's getting hard to see dark-skinned happy families as an advert. About it not reflecting real life, I think it depends on where you're at and where you go. In Chattanooga, I saw so many interracial couples I thought they were being subsidized. 😅 In Oakland I'd go to the park and wouldn't be able to tell what child belonged to what family (or if they were their mom or dad). It was like MLK's infamous dream being played out.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

@freedomm or black person with mixed black woman. That's too its annoying

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

@reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee which is funny cuz the later seems to be more common

[@RSVera]

Being a Black biracial woman colorism is always in the front of my mind when it comes to relationships. I feel fetishized by everyone. I was "shown off" by Black boyfriends when I was a teen. I have always been pursued by much older Black men. My hair and skin color are always what I'm complimented on.I also am aware of being experimented with or being the 1st. I feel guilt and shame, disgust and disappointment more often than I feel flattered or appreciated. And more often than not those who pursue me have been with white or Latina women before me and after. I'm a safe alternative. Yes this comes back to racism.

[@zeefaaldown3231]

Black/white biracial femme. Same exact experience 👍🏼

[@GulfCoastGrit]

I had similar experiences starting college going to a PWI as a Black biracial man. It was really strange having more than one white woman tell me that “we would have pretty babies together” as a way to hit on me and it stuck with me for many years. The flip side to that is just like you said when dating Black women, there sometimes was this odd thing going on with them since I was a “lite brite”. It got mentioned a little too often with some folks. Honestly the only women who usually didn’t give me a weird vibe were international women and other biracial Black women. I think I chalk that up to both groups knowing how it feels to be a part or party to something, but never actually belonging. Sometimes I feel like we exist in a strange no man’s land where we’re liable to catch hell from everyone with a pulse.

[@christinaspencer8388]

Mixed here and felt this

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@GulfCoastGrit You attended a PWI🤨I now have to question if you're psychologically Black. Are you the biracial Black male who states: "Love is love" "Racism is so old I don't see it at all" "Slavery was a choice". Or have you accepted that Whites don't see you as half White and now identify as a Black male?

[@angelsotired]

Colorism is the systemic oppression of dark skin people. You don’t experience colorism.

[@blackcoffee9470]

The "ain't I a woman" fact is one of the reasons I appreciate your channel. The knowledge is immeasurable. Thank you!

[@mjohnson1741]

You should read the book The Trouble with White Woman the author is a WW and expands even further on white feminist deliberately making black feminist sound more of their idea of "black" which was really less articulate. It deals with feminism and how WW have historically had the narrative about feminism. History consistently states women gain the right to vote in 1920 but the truth is WW gained the right to vote and sold out BW.

[@KenpoKid77]

Yes, definitely learned something on that.

[@jazzjupiter9545]

I feel like I knew this and forgot. What a great reminder! It's sad that the concept of intersectional feminism was brought up back then and we STILL out here reminding folks Black women exist 🙄

[@tiatsele]

That book changed how I felt about myself before. It answers many questions I had as a young black woman trying to navigate why we are perceived the way we are. I came to understand that how people react to my appearance has nothing to do with me, it was never my fault - its a world disease. Nothing I do or don't do will stop it. I just have to keep on being better each and every day FOR MYSELF - although I will admit that some things were too traumatic for me and I had to stop reading it

[@slhpproductions6707]

That actually fucked me up. I learned about that speech in university in my gender class, IN THE LESSON ABOUT HOW WHITE FEMINISTS MISTREAT BLACK FEMINISTS and I'm hearing about it for the first time here? In a KZbin video?? Almost a year later??? I really don't know what to say but I'm pissed

[@anhedonic-voting]

That stuff about black women at hospital is something my wife had to face. Those nurses gave her something that made her itch then gave her 3 doses of benadryl. I had to ask for the senior nurse or doctor cuz she was half awake during child birth. Our daughter was asleep when born...it was a nightmare.

[@LisaSimpsonRules]

I am sorry for your experience.

[@UpliftedTranceJunkie]

I lived in a very conservative small town growing up and in my early adulthood. I used to dread having to go to the hospital for anything. I had an experience where the attending nurse was very aggressive, condescending, and rude from the get-go, and purposely did something unnecessary that caused me a lot of physical pain while stoically observing my pained reaction, and not apologizing. I just wanted to get out of there, and regretted my decision to go. Also experienced other instances where staff were mean and dismissive where I was completely polite, and I didn't understand why.

[@Carryon22865]

When I was a kid, my mom used some bad tuna apparently, and we all had to go to the hospital for treatment, and I will never forget what this heavy set nurse did to me, I was alone in a hospital bed in a room, and she comes in without saying a word, flips me hard onto my stomach, and without any warning she rammed a suppository up me, so hard, that my body goes stiff with shock and pain, and then she just simply walks out of the room and then she looks back and gives me a dirty look, for Pete's sake I was just a little sick kid, but it didn't matter to her. 😢

[@alejandronopasanada5302]

I had to get my blood monitored for an hour during an ER visit. The LPN didn’t know I was and she kept making sure it hurt. They found the issue after 3 draws so I moved on but let me tell you, I have no want to get along with anyone who says anything near “racism” doesn’t exist. There’s several reasons I had to go to the white hospital anyway.

[@chump315]

When I had my daughter the nurse stuck the needle for iv into my arm but neglected to connect the iv so I was bleeding out onto the floor and she told me to go sleep… when my daughter’s dad came in the room saw what was happening and tried to take a picture the same nurse came in and shunned him about recording her mistake which could have been dire. Also when they started cutting me I could feel it, I told the anesthesiologist and he asked me “are you sure” as the tears rolled down my face…. Yeah

[@AR-md1zq]

As an educated dark skin black woman with type 4 hair and attended PWI higher education. I’ve experienced more interest in relationships with me from non black men than black men. I still have a preference for black men because that’s who I grew up with and that’s what I’m familiar with but I’ll date anybody I’m attracted to if we are on the same wavelength. Shared connection and mutual interest in each other matters more to me than the race of my partner. But there are red flags unique to non black men that I have to pay attention to as a black woman especially exoticism/ fetishism that usually comes with oversexualization that I’ve not really experienced with black men

[@jamirr100]

As a Black guy, fetishization was my only experience with white women, and ultimately shaped my decision to only date Black women. Like you said the experience with Black partners is far from perfect and has plenty of issues. But the issues and complications and dangers you have to be careful with are still less than when seeking a white partner.

[@jamirr100]

@heyyitsjude nothing wrong with that! I know it wouldn’t be for a lack of trying unlike some Black folks who spend all their time just bashing other Black men and women while talking up white people. I just know that, for me, a Black soul is the only soul right for my life. That, and raising a Black family with Black children is super important to me.

[@bt2598]

Yes!!! This is what me and my black woman friends who went to PWIs experience

[@josephmother2659]

I’ll say it’s definitely easier to objectify/fetishize/not give a fuck about people that are not like you, because it’s harder to imagine yourself being on the wrong end of it. Those guys and we all need to recognize where our double standards are

[@arimonroe7060]

​@@jamirr100thanks for sharing

[@RampagingChipmunk]

I’ve definitely noticed the IR relationships in advertising a LOT recently. It’s like every ad executive everywhere realized simultaneously that having an interracial relationship in an ad aims the ad at two separate groups AND makes the company appear more progressive all in one simple TV spot. It’s a super efficient and effective to synergize some positive attitudes towards your company without actually really doing anything! 👍

[@dameongeppetto]

Exactly! It panders to more consumers without alienating anyone. Notice there are no conservative boycotts of products for featuring multiple ethnicities? All of their anger is focused on cultural bigotry (anti-trans, anti-gay, anti-progressive, etc) not racial. Progress is slow, but take the token inclusion of interracial couples in the media as a step forward in culture (even if tokenism is cringe worthy).

[@59spadesofalife52]

I mean that’s always gonna be the case unfortunately, advertisers in this damn country are always paying attention to what people are doing whether it’s on social media real life or events. IR are just another way they can market to a broader audience while improving their image which is important in advertising.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

Absolutely especially on TV shows. Its baffling how IRR have become the defaults for a lot of black characters in media especially cartoon

[@ultravioletiris6241]

Surprise surprise, reactionary talking points in comments on an FD video. Im surprised how many people are openly disdainful of interracial relationships on “the left”.

[@RampagingChipmunk]

⁠@@ultravioletiris6241That’s not what I meant by my comment at all. I’m a white guy who has dated black women so I have no problem with the concept of interracial dating whatsoever. I was just pointing out that advertisers who feature interracial relationships in their ads are probably not especially sincere in their apparent support for it and are just trying to make some extra money and improve the company’s image.

[@nowun8268]

I'm a black man. I've been with my "white" wife for 11 years. I don't have a racial preference and have dated women of every race I've been lucky enough to have proximity with in my life. My wife's race was never and has never been an issue. Its not why we sought each other out. She, as an individual person, was there for me when I was at a very low point, and gave me the love I needed to get back on my feet. That love has never stopped. I did the same for her (we both have pretty severe depression at times). It could have been anyone, but she happened to be in the right place in the right time, and our personalities just clicked. I am not with her in an effort to exclude anyone, I am with her because she, as an individual person, is who I love. If she were black, I'd love her. If she were disabled, I'd love her. If she were another gender, I'd love her (or him, or them). Love is hard, and I'd encourage folks to avoid limiting themselves because of racial or other social contexts. Find someone who you love, if you can. Your time in this world is not guaranteed. From what I hear, dying alone and unloved really sucks.

[@HapillyMe]

As a black woman, l say go where the love takes you, even if it's outside your race. Congratulations that you found love. Finding your person is hard! I'm dating a white man, and we have sooo much in common. People think our color defines us, and it does not.

[@BD091959]

Cousin married a white woman. He's 80...she's dead...his Blacj family has nothing to do with him...still dying alone! Ha

[@kaedatiger]

I agree. It's tough enough finding someone you would actually want to sleep next to for the rest of your life without adding these extra factors.

[@Eastonwest71]

@@kaedatiger you can’t find a suitable black woman of literally millions? Are you looking for a unicorn?

[@TheBlackCoyoteGaming]

I think I big factor that is over looked is who you meet and who ur attracted to as well sure you guys had an emotional bond but culture and who your attracted too matters as well my circles do not Include white people and I'm not attracted to white women or white culture I also say do you because your never gonna know who is gonna be apart of your life but dating your racial preferences is not wrong or limiting yourself?

[@OhHeyyyThere]

When you come back with a new video and a fresh retwist, I already know it’s gon hit.

[@RaditzSayian]

He really did cook with this one.

[@ReshonBryant]

I had an unusual phenomena take place recently. I was approached by several WW on separate occasions that struck up a conversation with me. Each time a white dude popped up shortly after showing interest those women. So, I left. I also had a Black woman approach me with what appeared to be some interest. A white dude showed up then also with a mysterious interest in the Black woman. I saw the Black woman later on while the white dude wasn't around. The Black woman just stared at me as if she made a big mistake by engaging the white dude. I just smiled, waved and kept my distance 🤣

[@CORRECT05]

Making my white friend say "It's a black thing, you wouldn't understand." is exactly some shit I'd do lmao

[@georgep5590]

🤣🤣🤣

[@ReshonBryant]

It pays to just let people talk sometime I swear😅

[@USSAnimeNCC-]

Had me dying

[@matthewdouglas2373]

White guy here. I was on a date with a BW and she was trying to get me to say "brutha" with full conviction I'm like "oh hahaha you're so funny 👀 😅" and she was like "no do it 😠"

[@sebastiaanv]

@@matthewdouglas2373did you do it?😂

[@monetrogers7612]

My personal experience as dating as a black woman has been that it’s hard to find a good man period so what color they are is the least of my worries. But I see some couples that are terrible and some are same race and some are interracial. Long story short, people gonna people no matter that their color.

[@rmuzic6531]

No it's not hard...the problem with black women is that you're trying to find the perfect man

[@alxonpc9388]

crazy statement, "hard to find a good man" as if woman are any better than men?

[@Chuck_EL]

I'm a black man my issue is I have biracial kids and it's assumed I only date white women when , I have dated black , white and biracial women throughout my life And I have freezed up when a black woman was interested because I didn't want her to assume she's a "back up plan" Because I don't want her to see that and because so many self hating black men online pull that "white women are better " nonsense I don't ever want any woman of any race to feel they're a rebound or backup plan especially black women

[@UncomfortableConversations7]

This is the problem, women can be broke multiple baby daddies but a hard working man not good enough if he don't cater to a female wishes and b.s!This why you single!I've been dating outside my race for 30yrs plus and always found greater peace and less drama.Married a black woman to try to fit the cultural narrative only to married a gold digger wanna be city girl!So miss me with the idea it's about anyone else other than the person!Accountability Ladies

[@adrien1623]

@@rmuzic6531I think the problem is the morals some children in America were brought up with.

[@dominicgarcia7212]

I know this is like a super minor thing, but Miles Morales is already a multi-racial character and it's an extremely important part of his character as he is one of the only explicitly Afro-Latino characters in almost any media. This part of his character (at least, it seems like to me, as one of those half white mom/half hispanic dad statistic) has always seemed to inform his openness with dating someone outside his race (as he has also dating Kamala Khan and Kate Bishop). [Love the videos!]

[@lucyandecember2843]

o.o

[@T.H.E.O.R.Y.]

I've tried telling my friend, who is Nuyorican himself, that in doing so they didn't really make Miles black. No shade to anyone involved with the character in any way, but to call him a "black" Spider-Man automatically "irrelevates" his PR side, and would likely make fans of that background feel some kind of way. Also, to me it's simply another case of half-stepping concerning black racial representation like they did when they failed to make Prince Naveen of the Princess and the Frog some idenfitiable black person. I know what I've said comes across as SJWy, but they are trying to show representation and this is that type of video, so I felt it to be warranted. I will always give props for progress, no matter how incremental, however we must acknowledge that there's holes where there are holes and more can and should be done where reasonable.

[@DedHedZed]

As an afro Hispanic. Yeah.

[@edwileo5660]

As a Puerto Rican, I get annoyed how little of that identity is really represented by Miles. But the thing about his character that really gets me is the fact that his father is a cop. You can't tell me that a Black or Brown writer would have made Miles' dad a police officer in the climate he was created in (Brian Michael Bendis was the original creator). Also, it doesn't make sense that his last name is Morales unless it's his father's last name. Miles' parents are together, and our culture is pretty patriarchal--it's weird/out of the ordinary that Miles would take his mother's last name and not his father's. Which implies his father is Afro-Latino too, but he's not portrayed as such. I wonder if Spiderverse will address this, since the Miles we see at the end seems to have a stronger grasp on Spanish than the mainline Miles we've followed in the narrative thus far. But as long as they don't do anything too stupid concerning his identity I'm down for Miles. Who got a more fire suit than him?

[@lucyandecember2843]

@@edwileo5660 i've read a theory about Miles last names that basically states a possible reason for Miles to having mothers last name instead of his dad's, is because his dad might've been involved in crime when he was younger along with uncle Aaron. So when Miles was born he got his mothers last name instead of his fathers since his dad's image wasn't the best the best at the time. This is also why theres such a rift between Aaron and Miles dad as Miles dad eventually became a cop to support his son and wife. It's just a theory but personally i view it as canon as i think it sets a lot into context

[@elthion22]

Something that I never though about until the Spider-verse section is the value provided by Cody Ziglar in his current Miles Morales run with working with other prominent Black super heroes like Misty Knight and Blade. While Miles personal life has always had significant Black characters, as a super hero he's never really depicted interacting prominently with other Black super heroes. So to see Miles looking up to and learning from those characters as role models provides a dimensionality to his life that was sorely lacking, and I'm glad that Ziglar was able to tell these stories.

[@21swords76]

Honestly I don’t get why he picked Misty of all people. They’ve barely interacted in the comics. I would have picked Luke but he’s mayor now.

[@BKMediaMan]

I thought about. I actually stopped reading his book because of his non -interaction, but was pleasantly surprised to see that changed

[@inathi1329]

I'm South African and even here we have the issue of media over representing racially mixed couples and particularly mixed family structures. Our population is over 80% black and mixed couples are virtually unheard of. The only places you can observe mixed couples are in the major cities and even then its a rare citing. Our media is white owned which explains a lot. We have a unique myth around being "the rainbow nation" which is a myth similar to "the american dream" that informs such representations though.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

That rainbow nation thing was a scapegoat to unaddressed the social issues and consequences of apartheid personally

[@BrittneySamoneSilver]

They also speak a lot about skin bleaching in the media.

[@do3807]

Safas 💯

[@EvolutionofEva]

Wherever I go in these pro-black and pro-black academia spaces on KZbin I always find a SouthAh in the comments and it makes me so happy to know there are people (and I'm guessing you are also a born-free if not, a millennial keen to learn / unlearn & build / dismantle). As a darker coloured with kroes hair, men within my OWN RACE has made me feel undesirable. I dated a lightskin coloured (he was so light his nickname was Boere bc u know in kasi everyone has nicknames... mine was kroeskop/bossiekop lmfao) and EVERYONE was angry because "she has kroes hair" etc. There is a lot to say about anti-blackness in my community but that's a different discussion that will take me the whole damn day. The point of me bringing that up was that even in a coloured township in the coloured "capital" (Western Cape), people were angry - even though I am also literally coloured but you'd think twice upon first glance. Apartheid left a legacy of white supremacy everywhere - even in kasis where it's overwhelmingly just one racial group. Our media doesn't represent inter-racial couples and even when they do, its Siya Kolisi & Rachel, Bryan Habana & his wife, the late AKA & Zinhle. It's often skewed (misogynoir entering the chat here) to represent men who are of colour or just men nje (remember how gagged we ALL were to see J'Something from Micasa's wife!!!!) because of the intersectional legacy of Apartheid. White Men = Most valued, Black women = least valued. So gender, race & (sometimes class) overlap to dictate whom the media shows. Siya is everywhere because of gender but mostly CLASS (thank you Nelly M for that one, Cyril Cupcake Ramapheezy learned from the best there) because we place rugby players (sports stars excl bafana tbh) into higher social & economic class. One outlier would be McCarthy or Matthew Booth but then again gender and with Booth - race (and also they were in the golden "we are one", "rainbow nation", "I'm not white im South Africa" era post-apartheid group of sports stars who actually WON, so). Coming back to intersectional oppression think of how black South African QUEER dancer Somizi & his partners weren't in traditional media AT ALL. You had to go seek them out online, the blogs, etc. Siff shit.

[@TheHoodVoice2024]

Black people stay strong

[@zacbohannon9553]

Having Supereyepatchwolf doing the title card narrations was an unexpected but hilarious crossover.

[@mellodees3663]

lowkey my favorite part of the video XD

[@nowhereman6019]

It's ok, Irish people aren't white At least not until they became cops in Amerikkka.

[@ManicKiwii]

I said the same thing shit came out of no where but was hilarious 😂

[@CompletelyBlankPage]

Fig making an hour-fifteen long video about why he wished his left hand were white so he can do a raceplay stranger was very unexpected, but I admire his candidness.

[@largeproblem]

understanding the words in this comment requires knowledge no being should ever be cursed with knowing

[@0404chrisjz]

He just wish he was white period

[@RapidBlindfolds]

When theneedledrop fans discover FD signifier

[@chumajamesnxele106]

​@@largeproblemI'm sincerely trying to understand and empathize with the comment but...whats a raceplay stranger? 😂😂

[@aliceyuri]

​@@chumajamesnxele106I need to know what this means too

[@stevenknowles7180]

I appreciate the eyepatch wolf confusion, 10/10 comedy

[@rudetuesday]

It's my favorite non-F.d part of the video!

[@newgiohguy3711]

I was so confused when I heard him due the chapter one title. I recognized his voice immediately and was like wtf video was that from? Lol

[@enemyskill4286]

i love that he keeps bringing him back for these things 😂

[@rokkimaize7333]

Plus FD's repping the shirt! Love these dudes

[@AshlieJermaine]

As a black woman married to a white man, I have a different side of the take that you touched on slightly… I was RAISED in a predominately white area (my sister and I were the only black kids in our school). We had no other options than white boys. Like you said, when you’re in these “white spaces”, are you really expected to just….NOT date from the pool of people you’re surrounded by??

[@Hakar17]

I have the same experience but as a black man.

[@cjwanki]

Coming from a young African man, who as a child, grew up in multiple white communities as my father was in the military and I moved around a lot, I didn’t have a clear idea of what Black culture looked like outside the media I consumed. I watched a lot of TV when I was younger, specifically Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. And looking back, I noticed that there were very few, let alone, accurate representations of Black culture in the programming as a lot of it seemed stereotypical or just had a lack of substance to what it actually is. However the one show that always stood out to me was The Proud Family, which did address real social issues within not only the Black community but in society as a whole. Turns out the show was created by a Black man and goes to show that it is important to have people involved in these movies and TV shows that actually understand and appreciate the cultures that they’re highlighting rather than adding a diverse character with no substance just solely for “inclusion” and “representation”.

[@main1033]

It's their media. They aren't obligated to include a race of people they've historically been at economic and literal war with.

[@doclime4792]

I'm of the opinion tv and movies are mostly just shallow, quick money schemes and very little that gets produced seems to me to have a greater purpose then past the initial box-office sales I ask myself this: is film somehow closer today then they have been in the last 100 years, to making film that won't be lost in the trash heap, sort of like those top 100 best sellers of 1970 (but at least those didn't cost millions of dollars each)? Me personally I think no. I find film desperate, unflattering, narcissistic, delusional and at worst propaganda for the you know who. That being said I still implied I consider it still a work in progress and of course it effects the conciousness of us. Probably not as much as we think but I also think more importantly we do need to pay more attention to directors like Spike Lee. I think in 100-200 years he'll still be worth discussing. It's more than the moment, something profoundly human shines through in his work and truly grateful for that.

[@main1033]

Movies are not get rich quick money schemes. Movies are used by Hollywood as propaganda and a transmitter of the superiority of White men and women as well as the traits of lesser races. That simple. Once you notice that the Black father figure/leader dies early for the 5000th time you really lose interest in western media.@@doclime4792

[@bluesneakers]

I wouldnt expect you to understand Black culture because its not your culture. We just share a skin color 🤷‍♀

[@whatscookingoodlookin1]

@@bluesneakersthat’s what…they said right…?

[@Ghost-eo6jb]

The part about black relationships being written in Hollywood as inherently problematic, ridiculously tragic (ie Game of Thrones) or borderline non-existent on the most watched TV shows was so on point. You rarely see two dark skinned black people in a loving, fully fleshed out relationship unless a black person is writing the script, which apparently there aren't enough of.

[@prettyprincess8187]

Yup and it's sad that I get excited when that actually is portrayed

[@SRHisntSilent]

This is so fucking true and I am so fucking tired of it They really said 'one of them has to be lighter in complexion' I'm like: Why?

[@PaidFamCap]

Damn so. brown sugar, love and basketball, the best man, and a gang of other movies don’t exist now?

[@Ghost-eo6jb]

@@PaidFamCap The topic was about the most popular TV shows, the shows that are getting the most viewership in total.

[@hotbreakers94569]

I wonder what would happen if a majority of y'all didn't watch these shows, maybe perhaps will they fall in line 🤔🤷🏾‍♂️

[@Polymenganese]

I like your channel. You consistently get me to think about things I might not have thought about or from an angle I might not have thought of before. Sometimes I agree with what you're saying. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes you pull me around to agree with things I didn't think I agreed with. Other times you'll make a point, and I'm not sure I like what your saying. Then, I start to side with you. Then, towards the end of your point. I might move back to, I'm not sure I buy where you're coming from... But you get me thinking about the world we live in, and get me out of my "comfort zone." Keep up the good work.

[@Mimi90353]

'Hey shawty what it is ' to 'Liscense and registration, please' is one of the best phrases ever!! Another great analysis

[@tshidi129]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@abena7969]

I laughed so hard😂😂😂😂

[@ihavetogotowork1668]

I forgot he even said that until i came across this comment. 😂

[@dap2983]

Thank you so much. I didn't even realize how much of my baggage when it comes to this topic stems from romanticizing interracial relationships as being something progressive and "wholesome" or as a deep and intimate Romeo and Juliet story. Now I can finally start unlearning my fixation on this rosey sapphic fantasy of star-crossed love and try to just love people like a normal person. It's embarrassing how obvious it seems now but I'm very grateful you finally made that click for me.

[@horseheadkid]

sapphic means lesbian

[@kimashitawa8113]

Sapphic?

[@ShadowDrakken]

I would take it a level further: I have never met a person who says "I will never date XYZ race/ethnicity/color people" who doesn't turn out to be an a**hole.

[@andreabrown4541]

Seriously! You may have missed some of the content.

[@asafoetidajones8181]

I remember a conversation in 8th grade, myself and my friends, all white. The topic was if you'd date a black girl. Kevin said no, and everyone was like "why not?" And he said "I ain't paying for all that hair stuff". I still think about that 30 years later.

[@beanstheclown]

Maybe I am an asshole (I'm obviously not going to be the best judge of that), and I wouldn't go with a hard never, but I did purposefully not pursue a black partner when I entered the dating scene because I recognized the power dynamics etc would be an extra level of difficulty on top of my autism that I wasn't really equipped to take on (as it was/is navigating differences within similar cultural upbringings has been difficult enough, though certainly worth it). Perhaps some day if my now wife were to pass on unexpectedly I would be more open to it, but even now I don't know that I have "done enough work" as it were to be able to comfortably say I could enter an interracial relationship in a way that would be healthy for said potential partner...

[@ShadowDrakken]

@@beanstheclown it's a bit different saying "I'm not comfortable enough with myself to try dating someone" vs rejecting a person's personhood by saying "I will NEVER date one of THOSE people"

[@vivalalirpa]

Why do I have to be attracted to non blacks?

[@gramz33]

Black woman in Chicago here - I am so grateful for your werk, your research, your thoughtful presentation, your analysis. I am so excited to have found your channel. It's frustrating the algorithm only got you into my feed until now - I know that's about the systems tracking and predicting my behavior as a black woman consuming media/products. Etc. Anyway - may you and your family be blessed in abundance, be covered always in divine protection, and know joylove eternal.

[@sabrinaestrada3590]

I've been married to a Puerto Rican Man for almost 10 years. The man loves me and I love him. That's all it boils down to for us. He's good to me, and I'm good to him. I was previously married to a Black Man for about 10 years as well. It just wasn't the right match. It's not "because" he was Black. We just were not right for each other. For me, it would not matter what the race of the man is. I just wanted a good life partner.

[@kinglyduty-z6h]

The question I have did you give the black husband the same (good) treatment you're giving the Hispanic husband? Most black females have admitted to being on their best behavior when they dated nonblack males while treating brothas any type of way.

[@iketurner8212]

​@@kinglyduty-z6h That's facts. The demands from black men vs non-black men is different for most black women, even by their admission.

[@TokyoJuul8008]

​@@kinglyduty-z6hKind of a bad look to ask a woman essentially "what did you do wrong?" while using different words.

[@Bob-mm6uu]

​@@TokyoJuul8008nope he didn't ask her what did she do wrong , he asked her IF she did something wrong . Two different things .

[@l.boogie878]

​@@kinglyduty-z6hMost Black females? There's about 20million Bw in America alone, I can GUARANTEE you haven't met ¹/¹⁵ of that population. And if you're an ADULT male, you're supposed to be referring to "females" as women because as an ADULT man, you're only supposed to be dating Adult women. Not females, which could either include minor's and/or be used synonymously with b*tch, when used by certain males. And could be a indicator of that male, having a disdain/lack of respect for women.

[@Takashii85]

I was always skeptical bout getting into interracial relationships. As a black guy, i personally do not like the idea of being fetishised and that is the vibe i get when i interact with non black women, particularly white women. Its the look they give you like you're a piece of meat. Like they're almost hoping for you to fulfil most of the stereotypes they have in their head about you. Its sickening. I feel it would be better and easier to stick with a woman who will understand your plight, your culture, your experiences etc.

[@JD-ny3vz]

This is exactly how I feel as a black man as well.

[@mikeltsmith]

Same here 🖐🏿

[@JulianSteve]

I have the same feeling too. However, I get this vibe from mostly non-black Latinas. SMH🤦🏾‍♂️!

[@DG-gx8pn]

Same

[@stackstradingllc]

Tried getting with one once. Only once, just didn’t feel right.

[@mylittledashie7419]

Learning about the "Ain't I a Woman" speech for the first time (don't be angry at me, I'm Scottish), pausing the video to go listen to Kerry Washington peform it, finding it pretty effective, only to have FD truth bomb me 20 minutes later was a rollercoaster I was not prepared for. God fucking damn... Can't imagine how I would feel if I was one of those black kids who grew up thinking these were the poinant words of a black woman, instead of the bizarre, racist fantasies of some white lady.

[@KashForte]

That threw me as well…. 😢

[@gracebowyer95]

Thanks for the video! I found you through the Kendrick/Drake video and I'm loving digging into your back catalogue. One thing that kept sticking out in my mind when it was mentioned is the idea that Black folks marrying outside their race "removes" resources from communities of color - assuming they have kids, are these resources not going to their biracial children? And even if they don't have kids, if marrying outside your race redirects resources into the community you're marrying into, it cuts both ways. Would the non-Black partner in these couples not also be "removing" resources from their own racial community and putting them toward the Black communities they're marrying into? I just really don't understand this argument.

[@victorholmes7075]

Gotta invite Eyepatch Wolf back again for the “Irish were slaves too” discussion

[@achristiananarchist2509]

This one always gets me because I'm actually descended from one of these irish "slaves" (i.e. involuntary indentured servants from the Irish Rebellion) and we know about him because the guy who bought him tried to extend his indenture and he took him to court, won, and opened a shop fixing horse carts. That is all rather unslavelike if you ask me. It's only slavery in the sense that all prison labor is, but the dude was clearly not considered chattel in the eyes of the law and people who make those arguments always want to sweep that fact under the rug

[@annia3685]

Liam Hogan is an Irish historian who specialises in this topic and he's always debunking this nonsense

[@NunchuckPup]

​@@achristiananarchist2509 I appreciate you challenging this. As a Christian, I run into similar misunderstandings regarding the slavery described in the Bible, especially the New Testament. While all slavery is traumatic and evil, Chattel slavery was a profound, uniquely horrifying evil that needs to be understood differently.

[@achristiananarchist2509]

@@NunchuckPup Slavery in the Bible is one of those things I find really...I don't know if the word is interesting, but there is an interesting conflict there that pops up in a bunch of different places, where the authors seem more aware, or at least more upfront, about the problems with the standard ways of doing things at the time, while also being completely unable to perceive a way around them at the time. The rise of the Israelite monarchy in 1 Samuel is my favorite example. While the kingship myths of all their neighbors involved the gods themselves intervening and telling them this is the way humans should live, the bible story has the Israelites approaching God after a civil war and saying they want to appoint a king, and him basically responding "That's a stupid idea and you are going to hate every minute of it, but I'm not going to stop you from making your own dumbass decisions." Slavery kind of goes the same way. God reminds the Israelites that he broke their chains and they should remember that and support foreigners in their lands and not abuse and enslave them like the egyptians did to the Israelites, but real quick that turns into an "ok...but what if we just modify Hammurabi's slavery laws to be 10% less dickish". I've always thought this was interesting. Like, the Israelites understood the flaws of concentrated power in a way their neighbors didn't, but just couldn't imagine a non-monarchic government that could compete with them. They understood especially well the horrors and injustices of slavery, but couldn't conceive of a world without it. It just shows how the material conditions you come up in limit your perspective. Think about all the things today we all know are wrong, but just can't imagine a way to change at this point.

[@GrainneMhaol]

Maybe Niall from the Leftist Cooks might be more appropriate, considering they actually deal with politics and historical discourse. I don't know if Super Eyepatch Wolf is interested in being a stunt Irishman.

[@marcobecerra1977]

The last segment was fire bro. You articulated it perfectly. I am mexican. First gen American. The interracial stats were eye opening. Like the Irish and Italian, I can see the seeds being planted for my community becoming white. I already see Mexicans looking down upon the new Latin American immigrants. It’ll take time, but the process is already under way. Learning about the ever-lasting black struggle has been instrumental in maintaining a strong Mexican identity, if that makes sense. Much love.

[@fluidthought42]

It makes sense to me. We live in similar neighborhoods, under similar conditions. The same systemic tools of oppression for black people are being used against Mexicans and Latinos of all stripes (except for Cubans, who were often sponsored by oil companies. No seriously, look up the history of Jeff Bezos' step-dad and "Operation Peter Pan"). The struggle for black liberation provides a body of work to build our own liberation off of, not in contradiction to but in solidarity with black Americans. Especially since they've had way longer to figure out how the US works.

[@misslady5029]

It does make sense. What happened to black people was planned. Don't let that happen to your community. Continue to pray and love one another. 😊

[@fluidthought42]

@@misslady5029 Actually I see the path for Mexican Americans to follow that of say Italians or perhaps Asians (South, East and in-between) ie being subsumed under whiteness or perhaps as a possible model minority model. Or rather, that's what will happen to a subsection of white-passing and conformist Mexicans while the rest are set to view those as aspirational goals. Because actual uplifting isn't possible without economic and welfare policies that would actually do something about Mexican poverty. As a people who are already quite mixed (mestizo is our term for it) intermarrying isn't an existential threat, but as a people who have to deal with an imperialist culture and our need to deal in the society that hosts both that culture and us we are in danger of losing touch with our own culture in favor of complete assimilation (which white authoritarians would prefer for a myriad of reasons). Luckily, we do still have a connection with our own country that we can more easily maintain (which is an immigrant privilege that was never extended to black slaves). In other words, for Mexicans trying to fearmonger about "mixing blood" isn't usually viewed as valid (although admittedly anti-black sentiment and colorism is still pervasive in Mexican culture), but cultural mixing IS feared because of the assumption that due to White American culture being that of a global hegemony it will naturally overwhelm our own identities. Personally, I think both fears are unfounded but the latter has way more traction than the former. We have already seen it happen to some extent in White Hispanic Americans who do not view themselves in solidarity with other Hispanics. But we also saw the the opposite with the unique strain of Chicano culture in the US and how it's been maintained through the years, modifying itself as different waves of Mexican immigrants (some earlier waves predating before the concept of "illegal Mexicans" existed in the US) come in across the years.

[@misslady5029]

@fluidthought42 You gave a very well thought out summary of your community. I commend you. I'm aware of the colorism within Latin American culture as well. Thank you for presenting your facts and clarifying the differences.🙂

[@redmaple1982]

One factor worth noting is the impact of religion/culture. Latinos (including Brazilians and Haitians) and Philipinos of all colors are mostly catholic and their family dynamics are extremely similar to that of Mediterraneans. While there may be an assimilation component to a Mexican /Italian pairing most likely what is going on is a very logical merging of population groups. There is less of a cultural divide between Mexican and Italian than there is between Italian and Anglo-Saxon protestant.

[@redblack9618]

As the white partner of a black person, goddamn I am always so grateful for videos like this because I do not want my relationship with my partner to be me relying on them to help me figure my shit out when I'm trying to think about issues like this.

[@SipMyCharlatte]

Thank you for doing your research. Keep at it. ❤️

[@JGtho]

Listen. Respect to you for doing the work.

[@CharBearBlbpmassagestherapy]

Same. Definitely it's not our black partner's responsibility to educate us. I kinda hate when someone says I'm married to a black person, so I'm not racist. You can still have some anti black views without realizing it.

[@amadare9261]

this video was informative as always, but i gotta confess, the bit of having eyepatch wolf read those titles was a highlight for me, laughed every time

[@wirelessbaguette8997]

24:16 This is such a good point. I think one reason many (white) people's gut reaction to hearing about black people having a desire for their own community free from white people is negative is that American's have been propagandized in education to believe that America is and has always been a "melting pot" where immigrants come here, immediately lose their original cultural identity, and fully assimilate. As you point out here, this is nonsense on its face. Practically all immigrant groups formed and maintain insular communities of their own in order to manage the perils of living in an imperialist country. It should be no surprise at all that black people also want to form such communities for their own safety and well-being.

[@fluidthought42]

I would argue that immigrant communities are "semi-insular", and that ethnic enclaves are more determined by systemic factors than personal choice. After all, if people really had a true choice nobody would _choose_ to live in the ghetto. But I do know that despite me saying that, there is still a tendency, usually more on a block to block basis, of ethnic distribution. So I can't deny that this shit exists to some extent, but I can point out that the idea of ethnic enclaves is only as true as the systems that created and enforced white enclaves, and how they adapted as time passed by and how that affected other ethnic groups. For example, Chinese immigrants to the South often intermarried with black women, because Jim Crow laws applied to both Chinese people and black people and thus they often shared the same neighborhood (and besides that, Chinese women did not immigrate to the US at nearly the same rate). Chinese/Black history was deeply muddled by the Immigration Act of 1965 and the influx of more well educated and more wealthy Chinese immigrants who's success was weaponized as a contrast to black oppression. This deeper shared history hasn't been repressed per se, but rather that it's hard to seperate the nuances of different waves of immigrants coming to the US and their interactions with the preexisting black communities, and how these nuances mattered. However, lots of more European immigrant communities were eventually folded into whiteness and it's privileges, with the use of blockbusting and redlining and all those classics. Before then though, many reports put black/immigrant interactions are more analogous in my view to the black/latino dynamic, yknow we fight we laugh we fuck and yeah there's pockets where there's definitely a noticeable concentration of specific melanin levels but overall we don't "self segregate" as much as White WASPS did and still do, especially since white people were the ones who controlled the levers of power and determined how cities would be designed and communities built (and still do in a very real sense to this day).

[@aesclepion1606]

As a Black pastoral counselor, I have dealt with people of both races in my congregation who experienced stress from friends or family who did not accept the choice in a partner, people who would agree with Umar. I had a young white man who was really hurt was his family loved his fiancé, but when he met her family, they did not want to let him cross the threshold. Many of us, it has been my experience, hold this double standard where it is okay for a Black man to be with whomever he wants, but the Black woman is supposed to wait for the ideal Black man and ignore any prospective mate who is not of the “correct” race. We need to overcome any kind of sexist double standard if we hope to continue building the color-blind society which benefits social cohesion and is good for people of all colors.

[@HapillyMe]

I agree with you. I saw a great quote on Facebook "lf you live for peoples acceptance, you will die from their rejection " Sooo true. Never ever in my life, have l cared what people thought. I've always drummed to my own beat.

[@micahbass770]

As a white man the subject of anti-blackness is probably the hardest part for conservatives to accept. When I talked with conservatives they always see racism as a switch not a slider. That’s how they get away with this double think that “they” are not racist. Since they don’t actively hate black people they can’t be racist. This is why what Texas and Florida are doing is so terrible.

[@AMcGrath82]

People seeing issues as "switch not a slider" as you say is a huge crux of most political discourse these days. It's alarming.

[@SipMyCharlatte]

THIS is a major problem in Portland! Especially because we consider ourselves so progressive. As soon as you challenge their bias, suddenly black people are "victimizing themselves" and "taking it all the wrong way"

[@markparham]

@@SipMyCharlatte they call black people victims as a way to distract and deflect on certain issues when people say stuff like that i talk about black issues even more some people can't stand to look in the mirror and not see a perfect angel

[@SquirtlePower809]

I respectfully disagree. As a white man (which having to disclose that is problematic in and of itself and is a marker of just how hyper-racialized society has become, but particularly on the left) I was a longtime liberal SJW type and even have a Masters degree in Race and Rhetoric-- I am now a conservative since about 3 years ago. First, I reject this generalization and stereotype of conservative people as being anti-black. It's inaccurate, dishonest, and silly. In fact, the most racist people I have ever met come from the left. Conservatives are the group that wants people treated on the basis of the character and not on the melanin in their skin. I can't say the same for the left. And yes, we do see racism in an active sense (or the "switch" as you call it), because we have seen how grossly overapplied the "sliding" method, in which you mean "spectrum", has been used. Basically, calls of "Racism" have been so distorted and used in the most ridiculous ways that it has lost its power. This is a simple communication theory concept that the more you use the term the more diluted it becomes. In today's climate EVERYONE is racist all the time, no matter what you say or do and so people don't care anymore about getting called one. We don't take it seriously anymore. The extrapolation of meaning where none is intended is farcical and it is the reason why black conservatives are one of the fastest growing demographics in America. I believe much of the black community is sick and tired of the "blame the white man for everything" narrative and are starting to go back to some of the original great black thinkers like Malcolm X, MLK, Thomas Sowell, etc. Because they all focus on personal responsibility, culture, and community. Race relations have NEVER BEEN WORSE in the last 30-40 years and that is directly the fault of CRT, BLM, and the hyper fixation of race. Conservatives are happy to talk about, recognize, and correct REAL instances of racism. But, if you just want to whine and complain about how skittles are a racist candy because there is not a black skittle, please see yourself out, we don't have time for that nonsense. Stop the victimization, it's not a good look especially in a country where you have every single right and opportunity afforded to you as any other person. As you said, look in the mirror first before wanting to place blame at someone else's feet.

[@FrostbitexP]

@@SquirtlePower809 I mean, just the fact that you can go on conservative news sites that have comment sections and see a clear abundance of unquestionably racist comments (often times upvoted a fair bit too) says a lot.

[@spokeninpages]

This is very interesting to me. I've been in an interracial marriage for 16 years (white man). We are just living. We have been through chronic illnesses, family deaths, etc. I never thought of us as "swirlers". We just fell in love, put God first, and dedicate ourdelves to creating happiness. I definitely see the time that you dedicated to this video❤

[@millennialodyssey5956]

I agree! Same as you! My husband and I have been together for over 13 years. He is Caucasian. We are from 2 different generations 2 different cultures and two different demographics. But he grew up very similar as me and we both know God helped us find each other. We are so much alike. People are just people when I see a couple the last thing I think about is why they are together since they look differently. In fact I love hearing the story of how they chose each other.

[@thesquareroute6650]

Are you happy? Are you in Love? There you go. It's not a big deal to me personally. I'm married to a Black woman and women are the joint in general. Who cares?

[@Salik96]

​@@thesquareroute6650 Prejudice people do.

[@yo3rdtier128]

Ma’ma .. all that doesn’t mean you’re not “swirlers” it is what it is, if the shoe fit wear it

[@gabrylmack5084]

I just found it interesting when Black people are so out of touch with their culture, community, history and self preservation that they give themselves to other races especially children of colonializers , how do you completely embrace who you are when you allow yourself to be joined as one as one with a person who will never truly understand nor can they connect with you on a deeper ancestral level?

[@nadab6853]

Your time is NEVER wasted when you teach us! Please keep going.

[@xiiguardian]

My grandmother was white and grandfather was black. And it really just occurred to me as you were going into the history of how hard it must have been in the 1950s and 60s for them. They passed before I ever met them so I can’t ask now.

[@jeffreyhoward6291]

This is Us (Randall & Beth) is a GREAT example of a positive black family

[@wombat7961]

But the issue is in media we only have like one good example in our entire catalogue, if we were to just look at the LGBTQ characters and see how they are getting more representation and screentime, im willing to bet its more than black cast members altogether..... lets not even attempt to justify Black as LGBTQ is the solution.

[@wombat7961]

black people cant be black first, made clear by the media analyisis he did near the end of the video... so for example from my experience of diverse shows a strong black character doesnt exist before they are mutiliated, disfigured, or queer. They have to endure that as part of their character. Also queer overrepresentation in media is a problem which i see as a means to "other" black men and women @DanteLeiva-oj9rc

[@noirefit5954]

I loved them as a couple! Especially Randall’s experience growing up adopted into a white family and Beth with a two parent black family. That show was great

[@kat-of-nine-tales8394]

I feel so bad for all the black women in these comments getting absolutely swamped in replies by the weirdest little men.

[@KiwiHobie]

As a Brazilian afab person, this was very educational! It’s so “strange” to see other experiences and essays on this topic through an American point of view. In my country black people are encouraged to marry outside, and it’s very rare for me to find black on black marriages basically anywhere, but specially in the Christian community I grew up in. This comes from an attempt to “lighten” the population post slavery. While in America interracial marriage was once illegal, in Brazil it was encouraged as a way to erase blackness from our country. A very popular example I can remember now is a painting of an elderly black woman thanking god that her newborn grandchild had fair, with the mother, who is also mixed, and a white father holding the baby. Today most of the population is mixed, and the so called “Solidão da mulher preta” or “loneliness of black women” affects the lives of almost all Brazilian black women, who usually end up single or are discarded once the man finds a white woman who’s willing to date him. So when you showed the data and how most black men in America marry other black women, I was definitely surprised. The vast majority of couples I see here are interracial, mostly black men and white women. Black men are often fetishized in relationships due to stereotypes and believe they have to marry white women for validation, while black women are often discarded and left alone for not fitting in the mainstream beauty standards. I hope one day we overcome this self-hating anti-blackness mentality

[@nathanthompson663]

In my country it was not as bad but there was a preference to lighter skinned children by the older folks.

[@sarahlysobey2917]

Thank you for sharing this.

[@r.a.5519]

Maybe you could go on social media in Brazil and tell BM to stop killing off BW since you say you want the Blk selfhate to end...

[@standowner6979]

Também espero. Lembra-te que és uma pessoa linda.

[@maryannwaters339]

Well, when you have Xuxa and her "paquitas," being the former pinnacle of aspirational Brazilian beauty, and men like Pele, seeking out said perceived zenith of "perfection," it's not surprising Brazil is the way it is.

[@sbbekdnsnndndkd8]

One thing I would like to add is the lack of representation seen in media of pacific islanders. Although we have took matters in our own hands a lot of my childhood was seeing indigenous characters through the lenses and narratives crafted by white people. The biggest example of this is Moana. They knew that showing an interracial relationship failed in Pocahontas so in the new iteration of basically the same story (moana) they didn't show romance at all. This was seen as a feminist move at the time but I never saw it that way. Being half white and never seeing indigenous brown couples was hard for me growing up even the Polynesian boys I know now prefer white girls, latina girls, or light girls over anything.

[@WastedBananas]

there's like 2 million polynesians. the reason you don't see them as much is because in terms of numbers its a tiny community.

[@rhino5100]

Gen-X here. I'm not sure about this, but having raised 3 children (I'm white, husband is SE Asian) I can say that my education in public school in pre "no child left behind days" was more comprehensive than my children's education. I was disgusted by the Pocahantas movie. We were taught about that story, and everyone in my peer group knows that Pocahantas was around 8 years old and Capt. John Smith was in his upper 30's, at least 35 years old when they met. The idea of a romance between those 2 people is not only historically incorrect because it didn't happen....its sick. Putting that in there as "artistic license" or a plot twist is completely disgusting, but not because of race. I'm not sure if younger folks get that. I worked hard to teach my kids about the mountain of stuff they didn't learn in school because their education was much more geared to performing on standardized tests than mine was. I think it affects us as a country to this very day, including the loss of critical thinking skills. Sorry, its an off-topic soapbox because it's not about race.

[@verdurite]

@@WastedBananas and?

[@johnsgoodboy]

there wasn't any romance because she spent the whole movie hanging out with 1 adult dude???

[@brigade7678]

26 minutes in- amazingly you mentioned nurses reportedly 'think black women have a higher pain tolerance' but I think its important to add they are TAUGHT that still in many programs!! I took nursing classes in 2010-2014 and it was maddening that in our textbooks there was mention of black skin being *tougher* and men having a higher pain tolerance than women. Even worse if you're a FAT black woman giving birth.... Medical care for those groups /intersectional folk is a nightmare- humiliating, painful, deadly, and dehumanizing. I'm always glad when I stop and tune in to your channel. the balance of current day existence with historical fact /false narratives that have been taught, and philosophical views on both are easy to engage with- thank you for all that hard work.

[@LegoOfMe]

When you talked about commercials shows and how often interracial couples are represented as a commodity of sorts, it blew my mind. Brought me to think about what I've seen and how really, it is unbelievably uncommon to even see a non-white person being a substantial part of any plot without a white character involved. Also? "Ain't I a woman" being added to make the speech "black-er" is just INSANE. Made my jaw drop. Keep it up F.D

[@eafortson]

I initially commented on F.D’s post announcing he would be making this video, and expressed my interest but also my apprehension (being a black person of mixed heritage who is in an interracial relationship). I’m happy to report I’m impressed as I usually am with his valuable commentary on this topic. There is a lot to be praised here as it was thorough, evidence based and overall a balanced, nuanced and thoughtful take. If I had to pick one criticism tho, it would be that the title kind of bothers me. Because I don’t feel this is actually a video “about” interracial relationships. It’s more about the context and environment in which they exist (and to an extent don’t exist based on the data) or how they are misrepresented. But very little in the video actually has anything to do with the reality of an Interracial couple or their experience. I guess that makes sense, since F.D states he has no experience in this area as he has never dated out. Generally when he covers topics outside his personal experience or expertise he includes interviews with representatives in that space. So my main criticism would be, it would have been nice to have some of that here. I feel like it was a missed opportunity. That said it’s a minor criticism, as it wasn’t needed to express the point he was making, and could be rectified by simply editing the title of the vid to reflect that.

[@tmichellew]

As someone who, unfortunately, as had the burden of being multiple black men’s first black girlfriend, 9/10 it’s self hate, it’s trauma, and it has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with who they actually find attractive. These experiences have changed my perspective completely, I’m much more empathetic towards men like this.

[@arimonroe7060]

You're empathetic? I mean why wouldn't you be but ik that must've been hell to go thru being a black guys first "black girlfriend"

[@hmmm2564]

Sound like the clean up woman

[@JD-ny3vz]

How does that happen ...that seems like such a niche group to always fall into relationships with?

[@tmichellew]

@@JD-ny3vz I’m a nerd, it’s not that hard to find another black nerds, especially men, who feel ostracized

[@JD-ny3vz]

@@tmichellew ahh ok that makes sense, I guess black male nerds would be a prime demographic of black men to have dated outside the race.

[@obitouchiha6439]

Always remember that there is a fine line between being in an intimate partnership with a person, REGARDLESS of that person's race VS being in an intimate partnership with a person BECAUSE of that person's race. Do with that knowledge how you see fit.

[@wishingwell_333]

is "fine line" the best way to put it? i feel like you know what you're doing if you do one or the other. like you're just a person vs you like someone bc they're black or whatever race i mean they're very different things actually lol

[@GentleBreeze-ib9dz]

@@wishingwell_333you make no sense.

[@wishingwell_333]

@@GentleBreeze-ib9dz it happens sometimes idk if you meant to be rude or jus tell me i don't make sense but yeah oops my bad what was the point of your comment even lol

[@kwarra-an]

@@GentleBreeze-ib9dz it made sense to me. They're saying it's not really a "fine" line at all.

[@seanyoung9014]

I would disagree that it's a fine line. They're two completely different things. People who don't generally approve of interracial relationships like to _say_ it's a fine line but as evidenced by this comment section, those people like to say all kinds of questionable things.

[@t3amtomahawk]

I was a Latino cursed to come-of-age in the midwest. This has been such a profound discussion. I appreciate the thought put into this.

[@fnmiln8558]

I first had to say that I was pleasantly SHOOKETH hearing Super Eyepatch Wolf’s voice. A crossover that made me cackle. But yes, as a gay black man, I can confirm that these tribulations also seep into the gay community and my experiences with being some guys’ “preference” for fetishes but also told “to go pick cotton because no one would pick me” to date or be with in a relationship. People are wild out here, so I stay focused, stay centered, stay prayed up and hope to find the right person with good intentions.

[@sethzard]

I got fully jumpscared by The Final Gamer's first title read, but it's great having him in the video. Holy fuck I'm so sorry that people have said that to you. The gay community have a whole lot of fucked up ideas that are while not universally accepted, way too acceptable.

[@eddyawesomes]

Man, you put this in such a good way. I’m an immigrant Mexican brown gay man and I asked my husband once, why are all these POC people in advertising and media always mixed. Like it’s too much. He thought I was crazy until he started noticing it too. He is a second generation Mexican American, much lighter skinned than me, idk if that’s why I’m the one always screaming out against Amerikkkan society. But any way, I made a white friend last year, my first white cis hetero white friend ever I think. And he claims to be all progressive and stuff, and in some things he is. But when we were talking about media and I mentioned this issue he basically told me I was wrong for being against race mixing. He could not understand why it made me feel off, like POCs not being able to be a couple in media. I wish I was as eloquent and informed as you. In fact I have so many ideas for video essays but I’m afraid to do it. For example, why is it that Mexicans are the majority of Hispanic people in the US, yet most of the Hispanic media representation is Cuban, Colombian, Venezuelan, like everything but Mexican. But if it’s a housekeeper or a gardener, slap the Mexican accent on them. The only Mexicans who get spotlight are the ones that play into the cholo or the george Lopez type of humor. I’m in my 30s with mostly Mexican and black friends and we are all professionals, teachers, politician staffers, real estate developers, and we don’t get to see that ever.

[@ElianalaDivina]

As a Mexican American, you should totally go for it! I’ve noticed the huge lack of representation in media for Mexicans too, and when we do have some representation, oftentimes the characters aren’t even played by Mexican actors, and I feel like there’s a lot to talk about when it comes to how Mexican culture interacts with other things. I say def go for it, and if not video essays, at least some scholarly essays :) you wont regret it

[@thefloodwatch785]

sorry just for clarification are you against mixed race relationships or are you saying there are issues with how mixed race relationships are presented in the media and fetishized by white people?

[@thegoldthatglitters]

As someone who loves these discussions and has also dissuaded herself from doing video essays, I think you should go for it. I would, but I fear that I'm not able to elaborate or bring as thoughtful insights to the table as I hear on channels such as this one.

[@nonino1644]

There’s way more black couples in the media. Mixed couples is relatively new in the media. People are threatened because it’s NOW more BW with non BM in the media.

[@nonino1644]

@@ElianalaDivinaIt’s USA. Why would the nation want to consume Mexican culture? Mexican culture is fine and thriving.

[@Bun-Bun-uWu]

The super eye patch wolf cameo took me off guard. What an intersection of creators I love 😂

[@americanindeon]

Who are these pure race people? Unless you're from North Korea or Japan you're not unmixed.

[@asage5801]

Even they came from some other people

[@StacheMoney]

As a white dude that found you through the algorithm (Obsessed with any and all video essays) Thank you for the education, sincerely. Excellent content.

[@user-gu6vf3je1d]

You’re not white.

[@amp7980]

Man... I didn't think it was near this complicated when i started dating my wife. Im white n shes black. And i just met someone and we clicked n i wanted a family with her... Once kids got involved some very heavy conversations had to happen about how to expect the world around them to treat them.

[@N8ive]

As A native American who grew up off Rez and lived on Rez as an adult. Having your own place is different . Being in a majority feels more safe. Theres alot there to unpack that I haven't even fully processed but it's an amazing feeling.

[@DontaviaM]

As a black woman who grew up in a black community. I never felt safe 😭

[@N8ive]

@DontaviaM that's more of a community specific problem. Native communities aren't as divided as black communities. When native kids wanna act hard they protect their communities from outside influences instead of fighting each other. The gang protects the Rez instead of creating subgroups that argue over territory. That's not really the point though. If you could have grown up in a white community where the same amount of violence happens would you feel more or less safe than your early life situation?

[@PGOuma]

​@@N8ivedo they accept mixed Native Americans too? Like, if someone's grandmother was Native American?

[@N8ive]

@PGOuma did grandma teach her kids the culture, do the grandkids accept to serve their tribe? Or is it an old family fairy tale with no actual roots and someone who just wants a cut of the tribes $? There's a big difference. Everyone with a native grandma doesn't accept the tribe , and thus shouldn't be accepted into the tribe.

[@N8ive]

@PGOuma but in my tribe you don't even need to be mixed. White men and women have ceremonial adoptions into my tribe all the time, for their contributions to the revitalization of the culture and their servitude to the leadership and values. It's not about blood or color it's about sacrifice.

[@GigiMurakami]

Ah! That's a SuperEyepatchWolf shirt! Also, John struggling with these title cards is hilarious lol

[@cyberlain5767]

Yo I was about to mention that XD. It's wild that I watched SuperEyePatchWolf before he did his face reveal and now my two favourite KZbinrs are collabing together.

[@GigiMurakami]

@@cyberlain5767Ah! I know right! I love when they collab on videos. Maybe one day they’ll do a convention panel together 😌✨

[@marsjohnston7117]

Hit him with the "shut up & dribble!" 🏀 💀

[@cyberlain5767]

Yo, I just went through your channel. You're definitely being a sub.

[@GigiMurakami]

@@cyberlain5767 thank you so much 🖤

[@khalidalotaibi1072]

I think that the over representation of IR relationships in white-made media is due to several reasons. The first is laziness. They need to have diverse cast so they just throw one black character and say it’s done. The second is that they are trying to appeal to white audience, and please “Black-Allies” not black people. I am arab and I don’t live in America, so I got no stake in the game. I haven’t paid attention to this issue so I might be entirely wrong.

[@eujinlee9936]

Do you acknowledge that black Arabs exist?

[@Blufishii]

Yup... they are called the tolken black person also its always a black man

[@leahdavis9434]

​@@Blufishiiit's often a woman, because they're the token best friend and the main character is often a woman

[@MammalianCreature]

It's occasionally the wife, depending on how the director is feeling.

[@laurencarlson1235]

I always love when these videos include other KZbinrs reading the titles because it’s so exciting to see that F.D. Signifier likes the same channels I do

[@WanhanAjanMansikka]

Love the guest appearance from Khadija Mmbowe

[@amdman4you]

That who it was I was trying to figure it out cuz I was like she sound familiar

[@manniking233]

If you're talking about sex on the Left, she is your resource person. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I envy her pansexuality, sometimes. 😅 She's living life on cheat codes... 😂 No hate to the queer community but I had to take a shot, somehow. 😅 I love her, though. Calm down! 😁

[@MartyMar89]

I came from Olay and friends! This is some strong and well done work!You sir will grow and continue to create some phenomenal thought provoking and seed planting content. I’ll be a new subscriber and looking forward to your work.

[@enmysigmaquadrat9464]

I think there is a point to be made about how showrunners and executives who are mostly white are often uncomfortable to portray black on black romance out of a fear to be seen as racially exclusionary by their white liberal peers.

[@solivagant1170]

Great video. It was not until very recently when I engaged in some self-reflection and introspection that I realized a large reason I felt so drawn to white women in particular (aside from them being the main demographic of women in my area) is that from birth all the way up until now I've been almost 'indoctrinated' to prefer them and put them on a pedestal. As a child, they're always the female leads in the TV shows and movies you watch. While growing up they're (almost) always the most popular female musicians doing world tours. In video games, they're the 'princess' that needs saving. Watching the news they're often the partners of athletes, actors, rappers, etc. While all of this is happening black women are simultaneously depicted as the irrelevant, haughty, masculine side characters that are often fat compared to their white feminine counterparts. This constant stream of information from birth reinforces a very particular narrative while you grow up and develop your 'mental framework' of the world. Resulting in adults with deeply entrenched complexes where they subconsciously perceive one demographic as the most attractive, appealing, relevant, valuable, etc. To me, this conditioning seems almost intrinsically inseparable within most black-white interracial relationships. I'd truly like to believe a lot of black men aren't 'dating out' due to this conditioning but exclusively due to chance and getting along with the woman for who she is and not what she represents. But my own anecdotal experiences as a black man tell me differently.

[@SamBBy-v6e]

Yes, the social programming is insidious. WW are usually the focal point in countless books, movies, art, commercials, etc. They are almost always centered and framed as the women to admire, desire, marry and protect. BM are subject to this conditioning from childhood. Some remain wilfully ignorant to it and resist any questioning of their so-called "preference". It offends their sense of self-determination. I commend you for the introspection and the unlearning that you have done. As a BW, I have had to do the same upon realizing the falsehood of certain narratives that I had unconsciously consumed and internalized over time and the sinister ways in which we are indoctrinated by the society we live in. There are so many thoughts and beliefs that we have that do not actually belong to us but yet shape how we think and act towards ourselves and others. "Mental slavery" as Bob Marley described it.

[@striderstache99]

The amount of times my self-hatred made me demure to white girls because the boys I liked often liked white girls as a young girl/woman is endless. I couldn't look them in the eyes. It didn't help that being adopted into my family, the black upper middle class with majority of our members a lighter shade of brown, held paper bag tests when they were younger. My mom, when doing my hair, often called it nig*er hair. Her hair was fine and easy to comb through. I grew up hating myself and as such kids picked up on that and bullied me, further increasing my self hatred. I started hating the entire black race until I decided to seek therapy. I dated white men who treated me terribly but continued to do it out of self-hatred and hatred of my own people. I'm old as hell now and have come to understand what it was that made me the woman I was when I was younger.

[@josemartin2211]

As a Hispanic man who used to live in the northeastern USA and now lives in London, it is quite interesting how different interracial couples are treated. I know multiple people who are 2nd or 3rd generation mixed between not just two races or ethnicities, and interracial couples in public are incredibly common here so people don't seem to be corny or weird about it much

[@grainofsalt2113]

this is a conversation for Black people, I'm not sure what you think you're adding by completely dismissing it

[@oldankh]

​​@@grainofsalt2113Really? This is only a conversation for black people? So would a mixed race person commenting not black enough for you? What's the threshold for you to be black enough to contribute to the conversation? That's genuinely asinine He was pointing out that the experience is different in other parts of the world. How is that dismissive? Because it's a fact that interracial relationships in the United States are treated differently and have different factors than in other countries, BECAUSE we have a different history. This person is literally just pointing out an interesting observation that they have made

[@josho5860]

It’s interesting that you are comparing the UK and the US on this issue because there is a video going around right now where a mixed race girl in the UK says some really wild stuff about light skin being a flex. It has sparked a lot of backlash but also black folk in the UK have also been highlighting the rampant colorism in the UK. I say all that to say that maybe what you are seeing superficially in the UK is not really an accurate reflection of the fundamental sentiment. What might be a greater degree of acceptance of interracial relationships and mixed race people might be tide to some degree of anti-blackness.

[@elliott20]

Eyepatchwolf: "SERIOUSLY, WHAT AM I DOING HERE??"

[@WokeishJester]

Thank you for this video man. Growing up in a community that had a black majority I dated black women. Too be fair, we're talking about middle/high school relationships that did not work out but the attraction has always been there. But now, as a black man attendeding a majoroty white college, I found the woman I honest to God see myself marrying and she just so happens to be white. When the relationship first started, there was those feelings that I was betraying my race or I started questioning if I was a bunny hopper that Dr. Umar or other black people talked about and it put me in a weird place. Luckily my family and black friends are understanding and open people who all love this girl I'm seeing cause she is genuinely just an amazing person but it took a second for me to feel comfortable even letting my family know she was white. This video kind of retroactively validated myself from 2 years ago and I didn't even realize that was something I even needed man. Very much appreciated 🙏🏾

[@munaali840]

lol. make sure to raise your children as biracial and dont try any 'black pride' fraudness. i always hated my father for it and wished i was fully black, i dont speak to him and hate my mom too. its not about you its about the kids dont create us

[@mochachinomonahan8462]

How's her family handling it..?

[@WokeishJester]

@mochachinomonahan8462 Most of her family are really cool about it. Everyone is so nice to me everytime we see each other. The only one who's bad is her grandfather who's real in his racist bag who doesn't know I exist

[@Stingerman100]

@@WokeishJesterI’m in a similar boat as you. I’ve just accepted that ima just have to wait for em to pass on.

[@WokeishJester]

@Stingerman100 Same here man. As long as you and your person are locked in, that's all that I think matters

[@najaiwilson3414]

As a black woman who is gonna be married to a white man, many ppl in my life react negatively to this and say weird snide remarks; these snide remarks have never been reserved for any of the black men I know who date outside their race.

[@someguy974]

Hey Fiq, great video as always. One thing I’ll point out as a white and Asian man (Japanese mom) is that a similar discourse does happen among Asians, but not as much in the U.S. Because voluntary immigration (especially among Japanese, who are often more economically privileged than other Asian immigrants and immigrants in general) is often based on enterprise and individual ambition, and most other racial groups don’t have the social and theoretical history of solidarity that Black people do in this country, they don’t hear it as much from other immigrants. But back home people definitely chatter. I understand that you’re mostly talking about racial discourse in American popular media, and you may know this and have not put it in because it didn’t fit but I think it’s an interesting complication if you were unaware.

[@SheaOnTheWay]

I don’t think it’s weird that black men are the face of interracial relationships because of your previous point. They make it their identity. Consistently, respectfully and/or disrespectfully explaining their “preferences”. It’s not surprising when we went from essays and articles by Black men to Tik toks like “Cheers to more light skinned kids”… if you make something your entire identity and often, is it shocking that people identify you with that? No. It’s not right or fair but it’s not weird or surprising.

[@Jrum_KnoyZ]

No , YALL make it our identity . "Bojangles" , "Uncle Tom" , "Coon" etc. Yall leave us no choice but to lash back out .

[@mourgie]

This, this one right here.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

That clip still makes me cringe 😂

[@thenewbull00]

I honestly don't get what's wrong with a respectful explanation of one's preference though. It doesn't mean an automatic denigration if anytime else.

[@stacycarlton2056]

​@@thenewbull00yeah and even though that's the vast majority of everybody who does speak about their preference that's not that interesting to people like this they need the conflicts

[@intherapture]

You did your thing on this FD! Excellent points throughout and the point about Black men being overrepresented re: the swirl despite the data saying otherwise was a necessary reminder. Racism and anti-Blackness are always at work regardless of position on this issue. Love it here as always

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

Yeah that's what confuses me. I found out Asian women and White male date outside their race more...yet we are more overrepresented in IRR media. Something ain't working

[@manniking233]

​@@wrestlinganime4life288. The ones doing it have a vested interest in not getting caught, as it would raise unsavoury questions they do not want to answer. So we play the fall guys for everybody else, as usual... Most of us never marry outside our race because they just want to bang but not marry us. Also, most of us come from experiences that incentivize us to marry black women. The scrutiny on us is harsh and plays into people's fantasised paranoia and insecurities about us. No one wants to live in reality because the consequence of their paranoia being true frightens them beyond belief. I would laugh but people have gotten literally murked because of this perception and it drives me nuts! 😡🤦🏿‍♂️

[@Annimations]

I doubt this applies to anyone here in this comment section…but for dudes who “play in the snow” as a trophy hunting thing. It makes your girlfriend/whoever you’re with feel gross. In college I dated this really cute funny guy and I was really hype to date him. It all came crashing down when he introduced me to his friends and they all started making really gross jokes about my skin and how their buddy had bagged a trophy. Paired with awful remarks about black girl classmates. Realized he didn’t even like me for who I was, and that *still* hurts my feelings really badly a decade later. It also just made me feel really creepy and gross being there. Back then I was a coward so I just ran away and cried 😅

[@InconspicuousOrganic]

The recurring gag of poor SuperEyePatchWolf getting increasingly uncomfortable having to read lines is peak

[@Bobby-hn3cu]

53:57 “I prefer black women like like the most majority of black men” I nodded in agreement so hard my head hurts.

[@catierollins8493]

He said “I prefer darker black Women, like the vast majority of black men”… Yeah I definitely want to see stats on that “data”😂

[@Bobby-hn3cu]

@@catierollins8493 I don't think there's any stats on how dark black men like their women. Just know that they date all color spectrum. Brown, light brown, lightskin, and dark brown.

[@brownjaded]

@@catierollins8493 he’s cap. The stats say lighter skinned BW are desired more and get married more. You know black males are always on code 👩🏾‍💻

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

@catierollins8493 i think you need to travel more and not rely on stats cuz they barely reflects the truth

[@catierollins8493]

@@Bobby-hn3cu ohh ok. We’re being dense. I’ll play along 😉

[@miss.guidedghosts7858]

watching this video as a mixed black and white girl whose parents divorced relatively quickly is definitely a JOURNEY

[@tragicallyhoney]

Wow you’re so unique

[@Appleboo222]

Idk how I found this video but I’m glad I did and I can’t believe I watched the entire thing! I’m black in a beautiful black marriage and sometimes I feel like the media and people online make it seem like it’s sooo rare. I’m grateful to have lived in a Black Country before moving so I don’t let the media give my union imposter syndrome! We definitely need more dark skin black couples on TV because it’s very much normal like white and Asian couples!

[@HONEYLOVE-v4l]

RIGHT BECUZ BLAQEOMEN ARE LOVED BY BLAQMEN MORE THAN NOT THE MEDIA PUSHES B.M WW WHICH IS A WHOLE LIE

[@brittneyj.8270]

Congratulations on your healthy and happy marriage. It's sad that's it's rare to see, and when I see it, I literally love it. I was with my family at the park one day, and all I saw were interracial couples. When we saw a black family, I was overjoyed by their presence. The sister was beautiful chocolate, and they had a beautiful family. They had about 5 children, and the love was definitely there. ❤

[@Appleboo222]

@@brittneyj.8270 thank you love and yes it’s beautiful to see black families out and about and five children what a blessing❤️❤️

[@elle381]

I grew up as a black girl into a black woman. I never knew a time, personally, or in the media, that BM didn't prioritize whiteness. So if the media is magnifying it, it worked because my lived experience supported that. Never hated on them. But when I see a black man, I am genuinely surprised when he claims to prefer black women especially if he's successful. So when dating, I question "does he date black women" the same way I would a white or other man. A lot of damage has been done and I only see them platonically now. Black men are still most attractive to me but I am not wasting my youth trying to beat the odds for "Black love" To amplify another comment, only 28-30% Black people marry at all. Statistically, BM marry out more and they promote it aggressively. Their negative media about BW is not negligible. Now add colorism. Look up the percentages of men who are even fit for marriage for the average, educated black woman just seeking parity in a middle class household. This is a very gendered issue and 28% of Black people married, 12%+ being interracial in the men are numbers concerning enough for smart black women hedging their bets.

[@duttreacts4780]

🙄 some of y’all just hate bm do us all a favor and date white please

[@toricollins6516]

@@duttreacts4780Is there ever a time to honestly critique the role colorism plays in the dating preferences of BM? BW hate BM? That doesn’t make sense, actually.

[@willieterrell1618]

So your telling me its white men that black women call scrubs and say not to talk to them unless u make a hundred k?

[@Lorenzo-e7m]

More black men are married and there’s less of them. Also the education nonsense is really just propaganda, women of all races attend college more than their male counterparts. Lets not talk about debt 🤦‍♂️

[@ria0991]

@@willieterrell1618so you’re telling me it’s black men how here saying she looks better red and y’all don’t stand up for the dark and brown skinned sisters tsk tsk

[@AnneLives81]

I appreciate your critical lens on the world and just appreciate your patience and willingness to discuss and educate people on important topics and conversations. Thank you.

[@maxwelljones7213]

I’m surprised you didn’t mention how TikTok trends like the “massa” challenge is also a reason why many in the black community look down on interracial relationships

[@blake9746]

I'm probably gonna regret asking, but what the hell is that?

[@TheProletariat321]

@@blake9746 foreign man in a foreign land made a video on it if you´re curious

[@catlover.triangleheadprod4887]

@@blake9746 I'm guessing its something along the lines of a black person calling their partner/friend "massa(master)" when asked to do something. I.E "babe can you (do thing)" "yes massa".

[@Mrweatherall13]

​@@blake9746it's black women and white men doing that challenge. Btw whenever they say black ppl it's really black women they just scared to bring them up

[@kyrathedestroyer_]

seen it first on nebula and i’m sad to say you didn’t make me mad not one bit. you definitely made me interrogate why i tense up and wince when i see a brother with a becky on his arm. why i care in the first damn place ? but make me mad, nah !

[@Pissbaby991]

I hate that ppl like u get angry. As black man in an IR relationship with a white woman (not a Becky) sometimes i feel overly hated for no reason. Love is love

[@TylarT]

​@@Pissbaby991 she said it makes her wince or tense up. Not that it makes her angry black woman. Her emotions aren't angry, nor does it sound that way more so uncomfortable, which she acknowledges is strange. Read with context bro

[@wombat7961]

You misread her comment@@Pissbaby991

[@jamirr100]

Just curious, but do you tense up when you see a Black woman with a white man too?

[@wombat7961]

if i may im gonna say yes coming from my perspective in the SF Bay Area @@jamirr100 women are getting hired in masse, to a mostly white male workplace and are essentially being groomed for interracial relationships. This is social engineering. Its important to consider not just the implications of who is being included but who is being excluded. Seeing as many jobs are exclusively referral based where i live, you hire who you know, and you know whoever looks like you... i consider any tech workspace to be entirely hostile to black men. I can apply to any startup pre-IPO and just take a look out on the open office plan and see 1 other black man in San Francisco... Do you know how revolting it is to comprehend this? OK ignoring the in-person experience have you ever stopped to notice who gets interviewed for a tech job at a cafe over coffee? 80% white women hiring white women, 20% men getting interviewed. I have yet to see this kind of HOSPITALITY given to colored men or women in SF Bay Area in all my years as an avid coffee drinker and freelancer.

[@marcusdavis9232]

As a 32 year old black man who’s marrried to an Irish-American girl…I knew this video was going to be a doozy. I think there’s a huge difference in finding a partner who has values that align with yours, who happens to be white compared to seeking out a white partner for whatever nebulous reason. Edit: I’ve finished and wow this was a great video. I still remember when me and my wife were a couple months in. We were hanging out in my neighborhood after work sitting on the hood of my car when a random older white dude walked out of his house to stare at us to try to make us uncomfortable & leave. That was her first real dose of seeing how being with a black man can make you “unwelcome” in “white” spaces.. I grew up there my entire life and always felt like an outsider

[@standowner6979]

Why comment before watching the videos?

[@yunglynda1326]

hmm its weird youre calling your wife a girl, that's kind of infantilizing imo. like is she significantly younger than you?

[@PavillionKing]

​@@yunglynda1326I'm pretty sure calling your wife your girl is just a common way that people talk. It's not as deep as you want to be.

[@sebastiaanv]

@@yunglynda1326reaching hard!

[@anishnewton100]

I'm curious about why you even clicked on the video? No disrespect at all intended I'm just wondering what you were hoping/ expecting to see.

[@quadoduece]

The phrase "bunny hopping" is hilarious.

[@paulevelynallen891]

Well done!!!! Bravo!!! You presented a thorough well thought out and intellectual vocal essay. I AM PROUD OF YOU BROTHER!!

[@ReshonBryant]

Somebody said they not ever watching professional cricket again 🤣

[@kaylalaster1038]

Content like this is soooo important. Giving data, facts, and just breaking down why it feels like we’re not seeing black love and always being slapped in the face this feeling anti black love and blackness in general. Ive told my friends I was getting more divestor content in my algorithm (bc I was clicking it!) and luckily I had dope black men and women that called me out on some of the rhetoric I was saying and I made an effort to look for balanced black intellectual thought. I thank God I found this channel. You provide so much historical content and just give a better overall understanding of wth is going on. Its helped me have a better gage of misinformation and soooo appreciate it!!

[@Chazcott]

Always ready to listen, laugh, and learn with your videos!