Why everyone is wrong about interracial dating

[@beyondaboundary6034]

The following things are true at the same time: 1) Some people are in interracial relationships for the wrong reasons (internalized self-hate on the part of some Black folks, or exoticism/fetishism on the part of some white folks). All people in IRRs should not be equated with them, but we all know these people exist and can be loud and annoying. 2) In the context of Black-white IR dating and marriages, given the racism and/or misogyny of some swirlers and the history of the USA, it is understandable that some Black women resent Black men dating/marrying white women, and some Black men resent Black women dating/marrying white men. 3) Despite factors 1-2, opposition to interracial relationships is a reactionary position that is almost always based on either pseudoscientific biological assumptions about race and/or logically dubious nationalist-collectivist demands for racial loyalty. 4) If you're going to do the swirl, just STFU about it and be a decent person, and most of the world doesn’t care. It is mostly corny, ignorant, or egotistical people creating problems around this issue.

[@OFFICIALSDSK]

i would say more than some lol

[@IshtarNike]

Preach!

[@royalgardner7]

THIS!!

[@munchkingod6]

The part that’s WILD to me is how many POC (online at least) jump to full on white nationalist brain worms over the topic. It’s so depressing seeing the same sort of essentialist bullshit just aligned the other way coming from the mouths of people who should know better. I wish we had a better way to point out that actually it’s not woke to just go the other way. Obviously it’s not a comparable threat, but if we want to build a better world it’s got to be built on good foundations, not the same essentialist bullshit with a swapped palette.

[@freddyP300]

I agree I always say I have no issue with responsible IRs, but we need common sense regulations! I’m talking background checks, waiting periods and review boards before a social media post. Basically the same things I believe we need for podcasts lol (\j)

[@beaker6158]

Coming from a black woman, who was taught by those inside and out of her race that my blackness made me undesirable: ladies, you are more than enough and deserve all the love in the world. Find the person, whether it be a friend or partner, black or other, that honors this truth for you.

[@tristanband4003]

Trust me: there are a lot of people who find black women irresistable.

[@camille3083]

That doesn’t mean that they will marry a black woman. Just because a man will sleep with you doesn’t mean anything. As black women we have to take our time with non black men to ensure they aren’t using us for an ego boost and or for flings.

[@chrislyn1868]

@@tristanband4003statistically, that’s debatable.

[@tristanband4003]

@@chrislyn1868 i was talking in absolute numbers, not percentages.

[@tristanband4003]

@@ilikepancakes2368 Don't rule out anyone

[@Doomer253]

That last bit with Sojourner Truth's actual words being changed by a white woman because she thought it was too eloquent and not black sounding enough.....maaaaaannnnn that knocked me out.

[@tacrewgirl]

Same

[@bored4161]

Somehow I didn’t know about it being changed before, and something about it truly is horrifying. I remember that speech from school and I really wanted to write a comment trying to explain the type of despair it made me feel but I don’t think I can. Just a strong reminder of how deeply the sickness runs.

[@ShawnC.W-King]

And that my friends is every black person collectively telling that white woman that she totally missed the entire point and the irony went way over her head.

[@NunchuckPup]

This was almost as big a surprise to me as my first time learning about the Tulsa massacre. So much truth buried under empty gestures of "diversity" by liberal media. Fiq, thank you for doing your part to share this truth with us 🙏

[@Mariposa-11-2007]

Yup. And, of course.

[@ollybygolly9326]

I spent my teens in a predominantly white liberal city and was in an interracial relationship. The amount of times white strangers congratulated us on the street for holding hands was truly bizarre and the segment on interracial couples in ads was on point with that experience.

[@ericzajdel4259]

I would prefer that response to some of the more "traditional" response here in America..

[@PoeticMachineDreams]

I had a slur spat at me next to the highway by some old white guy (in Alberta, not US)

[@ShinMail6164]

​@@ericzajdel4259 I mean sure but I would like to emphasize that its still shitty. Sure it could be worse, but we can recognize that all options suck

[@akphison]

Funnily enough me and my black wife live in very red state and also get compliments at a disproportionate rate but given the context clues of the interaction we both always saw it as white republican types trying to show their not racist.

[@lachlainegordon806]

@@PoeticMachineDreamsyeah Alberta is screwed up, I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’m from Alberta too and i hate it.

[@fullmetal929]

"Why are black women so angry?" he says angrily. That shit's wild.

[@DenelsiaWalker]

I have let go of anger. AA men do your thang! Another passport brother has passed. To the ones not longer here. RIP. 👍🏿🙏🏿❤ One of the head starters of the movement is now in Africa. You cannot go to other countries, mistreat their women, and expect no repercussions. AA women have been fighting for almost 300,000 years. Naw, I'm good.

[@Zeltron-yy4yw]

@@DenelsiaWalkerdamn 🫡

[@masterbaiter7537]

I mean it's true.

[@b.marieglasgow1228]

Black feminists usually get quite a lot to be angry about.

[@hjbjh6787]

The way I see it, this shit doesn't fuckin matter as long as your honest and a decent person. Like race may be a systemic issue, but at least within your own life, all these barriers should be deconstructed. Race doesn't dissapear at a protest, but it does with interpersonal relationships.

[@dune-z2707]

Imma put it out there. I also need to see more platonic black love. Like we dont even have that. We dont have images of black folks caring for eachother just cause love but ESPECIALLY amongst black men and women. Low-key this what made Nope one of my favorite movies in recent history. Like of course theyre siblings but i also think like damn.... how much do i see black brother sister duo portrayed like that. Also why soiderpunk is the best aprt of across

[@ReshonBryant]

That's what I'm talking about. It's nothing to just tell people no means no and walk off💁🏽‍♂️

[@gayles76]

Totally agree 👏🏾👏🏾

[@Audreylalaland]

Completely agree

[@pennyforyourthots]

Spiderpunk is my new inspiration.

[@spaghetto9836]

Ace here, and _yes._ Especially ones that aren't done performatively.

[@joyk1288]

“Travis went from ‘Ayy shordy what it is?’ to ‘License and registration please.” Is exactly the kind of commentary I come here for 😂

[@Tangerinesorbet]

So funny and true! And sad, at the same time. I don’t see why anybody would be interested romantically with a guy like that. Mask changing because of who you date.

[@freedomm]

It's funny because it's true. But what is even funnier, is that his black women fanbase was offended a white man is dating a white woman. This is some mind-boggling surreal sh*t.

[@saami9606]

i cracked up laughing at that

[@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460]

@@freedomm OMG, that is so true!!! You got me cracking up in here!!! 🤣😅😆 The funny thing for me is that I didn't know who Travis was until *the actual friggin news networks started talking **_Non Stop_** about him and the Mayonnaise Singer.* Before that, I saw him on Saturday Night Live once, but didn't know _why_ he was hosting.

[@Sarah-re7cg]

F.D has so many wicked one-liners 😂

[@kaymitchell6143]

My sociology professor 5 years ago told me about the over representation of interracial couples in the media. He was biracial (black and white with a white mother) himself but he was born in the 50s. He said that he remembered barely seeing any families that looked like his and now instead of seeing Black families in media all he sees are interracial families. He said that the “browning” of America will be the excuse the media uses to justify their lack of positive Black media. He told us to watch how they’ll keep putting interracial families or a black family with one racially ambiguous “black” person and then act like we’re crying over nothing. I remember thinking that class was so pointless as a biology major. 😂😂

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

Hit the nail. Hollywood default ideas of black woman is essentially zendaya, when it comes to trauma content then boom everyone is dark skin

[@UhOhJacquinette]

@@wrestlinganime4life288this is why my video About biracial Being separated from mono racial blackness is key.

[@ninessaid]

I wonder if you saw the video FD did as a response seemingly to the one drop rule / including mixed folks in Blackness?

[@TheLilly]

BIG FACTS

[@TheLilly]

BIG FACTS

[@shirokahugu4562]

I love these videos but the more I learn about what it is to be a black person in America, the more sad I feel for black people in America and the diaspora. As an African woman (Kenyan woman) I realize what a prelilage it is to have grown up in a country and continent where black people are the majority. I grew up watching and reading things written and portrayed by people who look like me. Standards of beauty have been affected by European standards of beauty because... colonialism but we value what have here. I'm not saying that proximity to whiteness is not seen as better or favored it is because... colonialism. But it doesn't color every moment of every day like it seems to in America and the west in general. I hope that every single black person in America especially gets to live or visit Africa or places in the diaspora where they are not the minority. To experience something different than their existence in predominantly white societies.

[@mandyharewood886]

It is the same here in the Caribbean as in your country.

[@wrs_101]

🇰🇪❤️

[@AndrewFloydWebber]

I’ve only watched a little of this guy’s videos but please don’t fall for his propaganda nonsense. Black “activists” are some of the ones most guilty of pushing race and racism in America. The Marxists are pushing it heavily like never before.

[@vintowin33]

Thank you 🙏🏽 I wish they had given us all dual citizenship to any country in Africa. At least give us some sense of connection to our ancestors and culture.

[@AndrewFloydWebber]

I see my first reply got stricken down; someone must fear the truth. Don’t readily believe everything this guy says; the people on his political side are pushing racial issues and division and act like it’s still 1960 here. It’s mostly a Marxist plot.

[@hustle_simmons]

My hairline ain't crisp cause I'm broke lmao. These bills, rent and rising costs of a barbershop visit been whooping my ass. I swear my girl is black Unc 😭

[@Chipster988]

😂

[@wombat7961]

Hair cuts get more expensive as you age... was 10-20$ as a teenager, currently 60-100$ in california for working adults by appointment. That hairline stereotype seemed like a gross oversimplification lol.

[@Udontkno7]

I'm growing freeform locs rn. I ain't shaping shit! but yes, I'm a trans black man trying sooo hard to find another black man.

[@Jsmoove8k]

Dawg search up lineup/fade videos on youtube and line yourself up 😂😂 Im my own barber now and it saves so much money plus it’s a nice skill / hobby to have

[@pennyforyourthots]

My barber shop closed because they couldn't afford the rent anymore. I'm just letting it grow free and picking it out, and I'm starting to look like my dad from the 70's.

[@berickslime6718]

People on social media have found a way to capitalize heavily on being in interracial relationships. It's so bad to the point where you can clearly tell, they would have no following without their interracial relationship.

[@izzyNFT69]

Omg! Yes! Glad someone finally said it!

[@duhduhduhdiesel1436]

Shit, Bill De Blasio did this to some degree

[@AdeleKakwandi]

Very true. Having a partner of a different race is a whole promotional plan for some people.

[@awrebyawe]

Oof, speaking the truth. There are a lot of social media couples where their whole thing is being in an interracial relationship and "funny" cultural exchanges.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

Boy instagram is full of ut and it's soo cringe most of the time they ain't got nothing else to talk about it.

[@SingAllTheThings]

I actually screamed "yes! thank you!" at my laptop when you got to the part about Sojourner Truth's speech being overwritten by some white lady who thought Truth's words didn't sound the way she thought black people should. Absolutely a travesty of history! And thank you so much for this entire video, I learned more about the historical background and cultural context that I previously only knew parts of.

[@hattiethehandler2992]

I work with a few black men and they all have white/ Latina partners. They were always pretty rude and short with me, but when they found out my partner was also not black they were all a sudden angry and disrespectful with me. It’s literally the only thing we have in common, I just didn’t make it my personality.

[@Princetonian4eva]

This is sadly fairly common with black men who date out. It’s the self hate mixed with jealousy because society has traditionally ranked men above women and then non-black people above black people. So, those that subconsciously buy into this see you as being chosen by someone more valuable than both them and the partner they chose. So technically you have higher status because you are with someone with a higher status. It’s messed up for sure but they can’t harp on about how horrible black women are when someone with a higher status than them or their partner chose to be with a black women. The logic crumbles and they’re forced to confront their demons or get mad. Crazy

[@rf3575]

This…. Some black men make it a point to be disrespectful to Black women and highlight their non-black partners… But when they find out that you too have a non-black partner 🫣. Rage, hate, bewilderment… it’s wild. I think they expect black women to remain single. And I will also say their non-black partners are also perturbed, especially if your non-black partner is of their same group. Like the equation was never suppose to go that way. Non-black women are great, but never engage with their brothers. And black men are great, but never engage with his sisters… What 😂

[@jewlzn7130]

​@Princetonian4eva that is such an interesting take. I never thought about it that way!

[@KrisDeLaRash]

Heavy on the "I don't make it my personality"

[@EverTheAnnihilator]

​​@@Princetonian4eva I was just saying this yesterday! How a lot of black men who date interracially will create narratives about black women "craving validation" from white men because they, themselves, see non-black people as our betters who can affirm our (black people's) worth. They keep forcing this imaginary competition of who is more desired by the "betters" only to repeatedly run into the wall of contending with a massive fear of being inadequate to white men.

[@Miglohara]

Umar Johnson is the epitome of someone who can rattle off a bunch of takes that are 100% spot-on, but then say something so cartoonishly absurd that it immediately distracts from whatever valid points he'd just made.

[@KayleneRomero-oz7yz]

Lol

[@m.d.1395]

He's Oswald Bates... for real

[@shane2863]

Easy to have some good takes when you are simply regurgitating great minds before you. Harder to have good takes when it's time to draw your own conclusions.

[@rosewrath_s_revenge]

He's a reactionary traditionalist to the bone. Media savvy enough to know what will provoke.

[@MorganMingo70]

😂😂😂😂 This comment is freakin hilarious!!!

[@jjstarA113]

Not gonna lie I do wish there were more videos discussing interracial couples that are two POC, as these relationships seem a little more on the fringes of both real life and in the media.

[@gemain609]

Absolutely, mainstream interracial/interethnic dating is x race + white. Only movie I can think of with a PoC interracial/ethnic couple is that Issa Rae one on Netflix where she's dating a SE Asian man.

[@b0nitaapplebum]

Lol I always get irritated at movies nowadays cause they wanna make every couple interracial to like what be more inclusive? Idk like they wanna add a POC but not take out the white person…just take the white person out…they don’t gotta be in every movie 😂

[@WastedBananas]

se asian? what is that like Filipino?@@gemain609

[@ookamiblade6318]

In my experience, as in my own family, those parings just aren’t as controversial. My family got away with two interracial marriages prior to Loving vs state of Virginia one on a technicality, he was a Russian Jew so phenotypically white, but not socially.

[@roolime]

​@gemain609 The most recent one that sticks out to me is his reference to the controversy about Into the Spiderverse. They are so concerned about him darting Gwen when he is the child of an interracial couple. His mom is Latina and his dad is black and they are both obviously present and relevant to that movie. It's only important if white people are involved to these critics, even when they are faced with two POCs together from different ethnicities in the exact same story.

[@DarkWater4Eva]

4:55 Travis Kelce went from "Ay shawty what it is....to...license and registration please" LMFAO

[@bentuttle9170]

Looking at Travis' transformation made me realize I skipped straight to "get out of the car and put your hands on the hood" when I shaved my head. Guess I need to grow my hair back haha.

[@FlorSilvestre12]

Why do white male cops have like two options in their character creator lol. I went to an event this summer where 4-5 of them were gathered around talking and they all looked like slight variations of the same man.

[@Z03155]

Wild shit

[@spaceman83]

I spit out my coffee😂😂😂

[@shewilikers]

as a black woman, that sojourner truth factoid just knocked the wind out of me. like I had to sit down and catch my breath

[@shewilikers]

thanks for the always incredible vids FD!! love ur work 💜✊🏾

[@sarahharkins182]

Yeah. Just wow.

[@ereristark425]

I immediately went to read the original speech vs the remake and Y'ALL. I actually screamed.

[@djntu2964]

That’s white allies for ya…

[@OGseoulite]

What section was that? I think I missed that part while I was cooking

[@adriarchy]

What happened to Sojourner's speech is the most unnerving, despicable thing. It feels so unreal like we're in the twilight zone.

[@astrohaute]

yeah that shocked me.

[@jon-cx7jq]

My jaw dropped. That one hurt

[@hackprefect]

My skin crawled.

[@itsrodneyj]

Genuine shock when he mentioned it

[@WeedgokuBonerhitler]

I still remember the first time I learned about it, and holy shit; I genuinely felt *unclean* just learning it. Like, legitimately "I need to go home and scrub myself off because of what that woman did". It's a whole new level of gross. And it's a vile shame because Sojourner's original speech must have been amazing to hear in person.

[@medinamcallister7204]

That last part about Soujourner being eloquent in her speech and originally speaking dutch hit home for me. In highschool we analyzed her speech in groups and this one bi-racial white passing boy made a comment about how stupid the speech sounded and why the words weren’t easy to read. And I checked him saying that this woman wrote an incredibly profound speech in a time where black people weren’t allowed to read or write and how disrespectful he’s being to this history. I never knew that the current speech we had access to was changed to sound less eloquent and “slave-like”. I was defending something that wasn’t even true about Soujouner because some white woman changed the vernacular of her speech to sound more like a slave. Wow

[@Bobby-hn3cu]

Historical event manipulation is so blatant it’s almost comical. I guess it’s a human thing. I see people bending truths so casually I’m almost used to it.

[@djjorge87]

Mhm yes I am glad you called yourself out on this. This happens a lot more than you would have thought.

[@yogijaya2897]

Even photos of civil rights movement are usually shown in black and white photos and video, although they were originally in color. This is a psyops to make people think it was a looooooong time ago. It wasn't.

[@demetriusmorris8436]

I LOVE that you fuck with supereyepatchwolf! He was one of my first introductions to video essayists. Y’all are so eloquent and diligent, thank both of you guys so much!

[@rafaelmarkos4489]

He sounds terrified to be narrating these titles, and I'm so here for it.

[@ForeignManinaForeignLand]

I dressed up as Umar for Halloween (it was cheap cause I already look vaguely like him). NOBODY, knew who i was. I immediately realized that I'm in the Bahamas and I dressed up as an incredibly American based icon. Same goes for the interracial discourse. Its not a global discourse in the same configuration and vehemence as in the states. My ambience is surrounding with Black partnerships. Go outside, if you can and preferably with mask, and you'll realize that the internet ≠ reality as well as the USA is not the world.

[@ItsDaJax]

The people online generally don't exist in the real world and I think most people aside from probably a few exceptions, don't carry on in public like they do online. You could probably say it's a form of code switching for some.

[@By_Ash_Away]

With a mask yes!!

[@derrekbertrand]

For the algorithm - this is a good channel btw ^

[@diggs825]

@@derrekbertrandNo he isn't.

[@zainmudassir2964]

Yes. Decolonise the internet from US

[@RSVera]

Being a Black biracial woman colorism is always in the front of my mind when it comes to relationships. I feel fetishized by everyone. I was "shown off" by Black boyfriends when I was a teen. I have always been pursued by much older Black men. My hair and skin color are always what I'm complimented on.I also am aware of being experimented with or being the 1st. I feel guilt and shame, disgust and disappointment more often than I feel flattered or appreciated. And more often than not those who pursue me have been with white or Latina women before me and after. I'm a safe alternative. Yes this comes back to racism.

[@zeefaaldown3231]

Black/white biracial femme. Same exact experience 👍🏼

[@GulfCoastGrit]

I had similar experiences starting college going to a PWI as a Black biracial man. It was really strange having more than one white woman tell me that “we would have pretty babies together” as a way to hit on me and it stuck with me for many years. The flip side to that is just like you said when dating Black women, there sometimes was this odd thing going on with them since I was a “lite brite”. It got mentioned a little too often with some folks. Honestly the only women who usually didn’t give me a weird vibe were international women and other biracial Black women. I think I chalk that up to both groups knowing how it feels to be a part or party to something, but never actually belonging. Sometimes I feel like we exist in a strange no man’s land where we’re liable to catch hell from everyone with a pulse.

[@christinaspencer8388]

Mixed here and felt this

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

@@GulfCoastGrit You attended a PWI🤨I now have to question if you're psychologically Black. Are you the biracial Black male who states: "Love is love" "Racism is so old I don't see it at all" "Slavery was a choice". Or have you accepted that Whites don't see you as half White and now identify as a Black male?

[@angelsotired]

Colorism is the systemic oppression of dark skin people. You don’t experience colorism.

[@Hemings91]

Hey F.D. Thank you for talking about my familys' heritage and story. I'm a 6th generation descendant of Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings. Our story has been told countless ways and even within our own family there are different opinions on the nature of their relationship. I'd love to have a chance to talk to you more about how their story has been twisted over time and why it is still controversial to this day. I'd love to get your opinion on how this story has been adapted over time and what work is left to be done. I love your content! *Can ya'll please like this comment so F.D. can see this? And comment if you'd be interested in F.D. talking more about Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings. 😀

[@crnkmnky]

👍🏿

[@RexytheRexy]

Boost

[@Rossoneri2]

Definitely an interesting topic

[@iluminati]

Also, shouts to your ancestor for making macaroni and cheese blow up. America thanks you! 😁

[@Hemings91]

@@iluminati My great-great-great-uncle James Hemings! haha

[@AshlieJermaine]

As a black woman married to a white man, I have a different side of the take that you touched on slightly… I was RAISED in a predominately white area (my sister and I were the only black kids in our school). We had no other options than white boys. Like you said, when you’re in these “white spaces”, are you really expected to just….NOT date from the pool of people you’re surrounded by??

[@Hakar17]

I have the same experience but as a black man.

[@tomystark5428]

Your parents' friends, reunions ... What about that ?

[@AshlieJermaine]

My family isn't racist, very accepting, so they have always accepted whomever I brought around. When my sister and I both married white men, the only concern was our happiness. As long as we treated each other well and we're happy🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ That's all they ever wanted for us.

[@pc9043]

@@tomystark5428 What about them? These people at the reunions are seen way less than the other people she lives beside and interacts with on a daily basis...

[@Aymyanimelover]

Have a question do you think interracial couples describes the black love ??

[@OhHeyyyThere]

When you come back with a new video and a fresh retwist, I already know it’s gon hit.

[@RaditzSayian]

He really did cook with this one.

[@ReshonBryant]

I had an unusual phenomena take place recently. I was approached by several WW on separate occasions that struck up a conversation with me. Each time a white dude popped up shortly after showing interest those women. So, I left. I also had a Black woman approach me with what appeared to be some interest. A white dude showed up then also with a mysterious interest in the Black woman. I saw the Black woman later on while the white dude wasn't around. The Black woman just stared at me as if she made a big mistake by engaging the white dude. I just smiled, waved and kept my distance 🤣

[@thejavarvanburen]

Had me dying at "went from, a shawty what is? To license and registration"

[@alyssedani]

YES lmaoooo

[@indiaselene6788]

was literally crying omfg

[@cantthinkofaname5046]

Timestamp

[@tw6704]

I'm Black dating an Asian guy and there's absolutely no representation in American media for us. Its almost always white/another race. It's partially why I hold the 90's Cinderella so close to heart because seeing that representation just hit different for me.

[@jaytb5815]

Invincible’s Amber + Mark is the ONLY example I can think of.

[@MiaMia-lb2iy]

Gen V too

[@Crazy_Diamond_75]

My wife grew up watching that version of Cinderella, and we have since watched it together several times. It is incredibly charming.

[@aboutashow]

That's why I went to see the movie Boogie- the rep was okay. Insecure and Lovebirds are the only other two I can think of

[@A-M4]

Molly and Andrew from insecure!

[@whatsthedirt]

Been binge watching your stuff man. As a white dude, it really helps with A LOT of the nuances that I could never understand. I am eager to learn though, so pieces like this are invaluable!

[@katmore9]

That's awesome, man. The long journey to learn and unlearn is critical.

[@DenelsiaWalker]

Kudos 🎉

[@sararichardson737]

That’s rather smart of you.

[@MissJodles]

Totally agree, I’m in a relationship with a biracial man and I’m always trying to learn more and improve my knowledge so I can better see and understand the world my partner has come from and their experiences. We live in the U.K. and their family is from the Windrush generation of Jamaica, so it’s a slightly different background than the US, but videos like this are so valuable to learn from. I don’t want to ever disrespect my partner or their struggles in life, and every day I learn more about the things they have been through. I want to be able to check myself, hold myself accountable, and learn and improve. Big credit to creators who put their time, effort and knowledge into making videos like this!

[@mawaomar9530]

@@MissJodlesamazing of u to do!! there’s been lots of racist encounters in the uk so sometimes its forgotten that its not actually widespread

[@AR-md1zq]

As an educated dark skin black woman with type 4 hair and attended PWI higher education. I’ve experienced more interest in relationships with me from non black men than black men. I still have a preference for black men because that’s who I grew up with and that’s what I’m familiar with but I’ll date anybody I’m attracted to if we are on the same wavelength. Shared connection and mutual interest in each other matters more to me than the race of my partner. But there are red flags unique to non black men that I have to pay attention to as a black woman especially exoticism/ fetishism that usually comes with oversexualization that I’ve not really experienced with black men

[@jamirr100]

As a Black guy, fetishization was my only experience with white women, and ultimately shaped my decision to only date Black women. Like you said the experience with Black partners is far from perfect and has plenty of issues. But the issues and complications and dangers you have to be careful with are still less than when seeking a white partner.

[@jamirr100]

@heyyitsjude nothing wrong with that! I know it wouldn’t be for a lack of trying unlike some Black folks who spend all their time just bashing other Black men and women while talking up white people. I just know that, for me, a Black soul is the only soul right for my life. That, and raising a Black family with Black children is super important to me.

[@bt2598]

Yes!!! This is what me and my black woman friends who went to PWIs experience

[@josephmother2659]

I’ll say it’s definitely easier to objectify/fetishize/not give a fuck about people that are not like you, because it’s harder to imagine yourself being on the wrong end of it. Those guys and we all need to recognize where our double standards are

[@arimonroe7060]

​@@jamirr100thanks for sharing

[@blackcoffee9470]

The "ain't I a woman" fact is one of the reasons I appreciate your channel. The knowledge is immeasurable. Thank you!

[@mjohnson1741]

You should read the book The Trouble with White Woman the author is a WW and expands even further on white feminist deliberately making black feminist sound more of their idea of "black" which was really less articulate. It deals with feminism and how WW have historically had the narrative about feminism. History consistently states women gain the right to vote in 1920 but the truth is WW gained the right to vote and sold out BW.

[@KenpoKid77]

Yes, definitely learned something on that.

[@jazzjupiter9545]

I feel like I knew this and forgot. What a great reminder! It's sad that the concept of intersectional feminism was brought up back then and we STILL out here reminding folks Black women exist 🙄

[@tiatsele]

That book changed how I felt about myself before. It answers many questions I had as a young black woman trying to navigate why we are perceived the way we are. I came to understand that how people react to my appearance has nothing to do with me, it was never my fault - its a world disease. Nothing I do or don't do will stop it. I just have to keep on being better each and every day FOR MYSELF - although I will admit that some things were too traumatic for me and I had to stop reading it

[@slhpproductions6707]

That actually fucked me up. I learned about that speech in university in my gender class, IN THE LESSON ABOUT HOW WHITE FEMINISTS MISTREAT BLACK FEMINISTS and I'm hearing about it for the first time here? In a KZbin video?? Almost a year later??? I really don't know what to say but I'm pissed

[@sincerely5906]

As a Black woman in an interracial marriage, it’s bizarre seeing the amount of IR advertising in the media because I feel it’s not a true reflection of current society. Like most ppl date/marry within their race. The advertising feels forced tbh 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]

fr. i see more gay WM couples than BWWM couples.

[@freedomm]

In the UK, interracial advertising is the default, to the point of absurdity. It's virtually impossible for a black person to be paired with another black person because of artificial quotas that do not reflect the reality of society.

[@pysq8]

I've noticed this since the 90s, starting with the racially ambiguous women (with the mixedish hair lol)...I thought it was a clever way for companies to 'check a lot of boxes' in visual representation... now it kind of stings, seeing as how it's getting hard to see dark-skinned happy families as an advert. About it not reflecting real life, I think it depends on where you're at and where you go. In Chattanooga, I saw so many interracial couples I thought they were being subsidized. 😅 In Oakland I'd go to the park and wouldn't be able to tell what child belonged to what family (or if they were their mom or dad). It was like MLK's infamous dream being played out.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

@freedomm or black person with mixed black woman. That's too its annoying

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

@reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee which is funny cuz the later seems to be more common

[@nowun8268]

I'm a black man. I've been with my "white" wife for 11 years. I don't have a racial preference and have dated women of every race I've been lucky enough to have proximity with in my life. My wife's race was never and has never been an issue. Its not why we sought each other out. She, as an individual person, was there for me when I was at a very low point, and gave me the love I needed to get back on my feet. That love has never stopped. I did the same for her (we both have pretty severe depression at times). It could have been anyone, but she happened to be in the right place in the right time, and our personalities just clicked. I am not with her in an effort to exclude anyone, I am with her because she, as an individual person, is who I love. If she were black, I'd love her. If she were disabled, I'd love her. If she were another gender, I'd love her (or him, or them). Love is hard, and I'd encourage folks to avoid limiting themselves because of racial or other social contexts. Find someone who you love, if you can. Your time in this world is not guaranteed. From what I hear, dying alone and unloved really sucks.

[@HapillyMe]

As a black woman, l say go where the love takes you, even if it's outside your race. Congratulations that you found love. Finding your person is hard! I'm dating a white man, and we have sooo much in common. People think our color defines us, and it does not.

[@BD091959]

Cousin married a white woman. He's 80...she's dead...his Blacj family has nothing to do with him...still dying alone! Ha

[@kaedatiger]

I agree. It's tough enough finding someone you would actually want to sleep next to for the rest of your life without adding these extra factors.

[@Eastonwest71]

@@kaedatiger you can’t find a suitable black woman of literally millions? Are you looking for a unicorn?

[@TheBlackCoyoteGaming]

I think I big factor that is over looked is who you meet and who ur attracted to as well sure you guys had an emotional bond but culture and who your attracted too matters as well my circles do not Include white people and I'm not attracted to white women or white culture I also say do you because your never gonna know who is gonna be apart of your life but dating your racial preferences is not wrong or limiting yourself?

[@cjwanki]

Coming from a young African man, who as a child, grew up in multiple white communities as my father was in the military and I moved around a lot, I didn’t have a clear idea of what Black culture looked like outside the media I consumed. I watched a lot of TV when I was younger, specifically Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. And looking back, I noticed that there were very few, let alone, accurate representations of Black culture in the programming as a lot of it seemed stereotypical or just had a lack of substance to what it actually is. However the one show that always stood out to me was The Proud Family, which did address real social issues within not only the Black community but in society as a whole. Turns out the show was created by a Black man and goes to show that it is important to have people involved in these movies and TV shows that actually understand and appreciate the cultures that they’re highlighting rather than adding a diverse character with no substance just solely for “inclusion” and “representation”.

[@main1033]

It's their media. They aren't obligated to include a race of people they've historically been at economic and literal war with.

[@doclime4792]

I'm of the opinion tv and movies are mostly just shallow, quick money schemes and very little that gets produced seems to me to have a greater purpose then past the initial box-office sales I ask myself this: is film somehow closer today then they have been in the last 100 years, to making film that won't be lost in the trash heap, sort of like those top 100 best sellers of 1970 (but at least those didn't cost millions of dollars each)? Me personally I think no. I find film desperate, unflattering, narcissistic, delusional and at worst propaganda for the you know who. That being said I still implied I consider it still a work in progress and of course it effects the conciousness of us. Probably not as much as we think but I also think more importantly we do need to pay more attention to directors like Spike Lee. I think in 100-200 years he'll still be worth discussing. It's more than the moment, something profoundly human shines through in his work and truly grateful for that.

[@main1033]

Movies are not get rich quick money schemes. Movies are used by Hollywood as propaganda and a transmitter of the superiority of White men and women as well as the traits of lesser races. That simple. Once you notice that the Black father figure/leader dies early for the 5000th time you really lose interest in western media.@@doclime4792

[@bluesneakers]

I wouldnt expect you to understand Black culture because its not your culture. We just share a skin color 🤷‍♀

[@whatscookingoodlookin1]

@@bluesneakersthat’s what…they said right…?

[@Ghost-eo6jb]

The part about black relationships being written in Hollywood as inherently problematic, ridiculously tragic (ie Game of Thrones) or borderline non-existent on the most watched TV shows was so on point. You rarely see two dark skinned black people in a loving, fully fleshed out relationship unless a black person is writing the script, which apparently there aren't enough of.

[@prettyprincess8187]

Yup and it's sad that I get excited when that actually is portrayed

[@SRHisntSilent]

This is so fucking true and I am so fucking tired of it They really said 'one of them has to be lighter in complexion' I'm like: Why?

[@PaidFamCap]

Damn so. brown sugar, love and basketball, the best man, and a gang of other movies don’t exist now?

[@Ghost-eo6jb]

@@PaidFamCap The topic was about the most popular TV shows, the shows that are getting the most viewership in total.

[@hotbreakers94569]

I wonder what would happen if a majority of y'all didn't watch these shows, maybe perhaps will they fall in line 🤔🤷🏾‍♂️

[@stevenknowles7180]

I appreciate the eyepatch wolf confusion, 10/10 comedy

[@rudetuesday]

It's my favorite non-F.d part of the video!

[@newgiohguy3711]

I was so confused when I heard him due the chapter one title. I recognized his voice immediately and was like wtf video was that from? Lol

[@enemyskill4286]

i love that he keeps bringing him back for these things 😂

[@rokkimaize7333]

Plus FD's repping the shirt! Love these dudes

[@AndrewLawton16]

Not gonna lie. I am back to this video again just to listen to Super Eyepatch Wolf realize he's far outside his comfort zone. God bless him

[@stephenpaul668]

Im wasian and obviously my parents are in an interracial relationship. I really appreciate this video and while the issues facing interracial relationships in black communities are different I definitely feel some parallels with my view of them in Asian communities. I don’t like the fact that people (especially Asian people) will assume that my parents relationship must be toxic or problematic in some way just because my dad is white and my mom is Asian, but also I do have to acknowledge that the “preference” that some white men have for Asian women is often inextricably tied to racism and misogyny. And the “preference” of some Asian women to date exclusively outside their race is also fraught with disgusting opinions about Asian men that come from living in a white-centric society. I think it’s toxic to focus only on the women in this situation because ultimately they’re victims of objectification by mostly white men, but at the same time there are good reasons to criticize the behavior and look at the larger historical context, where Asian women are systemically objectified and Asian men are made out to be weak, effeminate and unattractive, for the interests of white people, particularly white men, to remain dominant.

[@joepatrick3092]

To be fair most Asian women worship white men that’s just a fact at this point. I thought my Asian male friends were lying but I have seen it with my own eyes.

[@artisticagi]

Almost every Asian woman I have met or befriended made it a point to tell me how much they don’t like Asian men. I’ve never met a white man doing the same about white women. I think the ‘fetishization’ excuse is over blown. Most of the time it’s because Asian women want to get more proximity to whiteness. They don’t like being Asian. I wish people could just be honest about that. It’s time to question why so many of them don’t like their own and decolonize those beliefs.

[@supaclipz]

I'm black but I total agree it's sad and unsettling that Asian men are put down to cater to wm egos.

[@advisorywarning]

I totally get where you’re coming from. My mom is white my dad is taiwanese and I’ve almost never had any comments like you’ve had about your Asian mom/white dad… however as an Asian woman I get comments a ton (not from family) in the beginning stages if I’m dating anyone but an Asian guy and especially when I’ve dated black men - people just assume I’m being fetishized. And I’m hyper aware of it too. It used to cause a lot of insecurity in me when I was younger… not so much anymore. Now it’s just EXTREMELY annoying. Also it happens way more when I date in the south compared to the west coast.

[@advisorywarning]

I will also add that I never ever get any comments about fetishization from anyone when I date women (they’ll say other stuff then). Mostly-not always- get them from men when I date men.

[@pinestraker4840]

I remember when I brought home my Chinese gf my extended family making jokes about how I must prefer Asian women which I found kinda awkward, hope it wasn’t embarrassing for her. I wasn’t dating her because I sought out Asian girls exclusively. I was as open as I could be to anyone who wanted to talk to me, we just happened to keep talking the longest.

[@pinestraker4840]

Caribbean people make jokes about exactly what’s on their mind, they don’t really hold back so I was kinda expecting some ribbing. Interracial dating isn’t as common on my Caribbean island just because there’s mostly black people and you’d think black Caribbeans would like black people more since most of the people in society they interact with are black, but no, they hate blackness to a degree just the same. Trust every other business owner before black owners, treat tourists better than their own, it’s a mess down there…

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

​@@pinestraker4840I know. I'm born and brought up in the UK with parents from the Caribbean. I believe that they hate us the most and yes I've seen and been on the end of disrespectful treatment when I've travelled there.

[@amaravazquez8591]

People always gotta assume things about you when you date someone outside of your race/ethnicity. My first long-term relationship was with a black man (I'm Mexican/Spanish). I've gotten the "you don't seem like some that would date a black guy" and covertly racist jokes from family and friends that I exclusively seek date black men for whatever reason. Like you, I just happened to meet someone who I can talk to, be friends with, and took it from there.

[@advisorywarning]

I’m half Chinese and this has happened to me…. It was def embarrassing for her lol

[@salishanmusic]

Ugh. Stuff like this is so weird. I have 2 mixed parents. My mom has a weird relationship with her Blackness and would fawn over her (super heckin small barley worth mentioning) Nativeness fir the longest time. My dad is half Native. I went to a Native cultural summer school program for a couple years and when I was about 13 she told me to “meet a nice NDN boy to thicken the bloodline.” It was so icky on so many levels.

[@RampagingChipmunk]

I’ve definitely noticed the IR relationships in advertising a LOT recently. It’s like every ad executive everywhere realized simultaneously that having an interracial relationship in an ad aims the ad at two separate groups AND makes the company appear more progressive all in one simple TV spot. It’s a super efficient and effective to synergize some positive attitudes towards your company without actually really doing anything! 👍

[@dameongeppetto]

Exactly! It panders to more consumers without alienating anyone. Notice there are no conservative boycotts of products for featuring multiple ethnicities? All of their anger is focused on cultural bigotry (anti-trans, anti-gay, anti-progressive, etc) not racial. Progress is slow, but take the token inclusion of interracial couples in the media as a step forward in culture (even if tokenism is cringe worthy).

[@59spadesofalife52]

I mean that’s always gonna be the case unfortunately, advertisers in this damn country are always paying attention to what people are doing whether it’s on social media real life or events. IR are just another way they can market to a broader audience while improving their image which is important in advertising.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

Absolutely especially on TV shows. Its baffling how IRR have become the defaults for a lot of black characters in media especially cartoon

[@ultravioletiris6241]

Surprise surprise, reactionary talking points in comments on an FD video. Im surprised how many people are openly disdainful of interracial relationships on “the left”.

[@RampagingChipmunk]

⁠@@ultravioletiris6241That’s not what I meant by my comment at all. I’m a white guy who has dated black women so I have no problem with the concept of interracial dating whatsoever. I was just pointing out that advertisers who feature interracial relationships in their ads are probably not especially sincere in their apparent support for it and are just trying to make some extra money and improve the company’s image.

[@Polymenganese]

I like your channel. You consistently get me to think about things I might not have thought about or from an angle I might not have thought of before. Sometimes I agree with what you're saying. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes you pull me around to agree with things I didn't think I agreed with. Other times you'll make a point, and I'm not sure I like what your saying. Then, I start to side with you. Then, towards the end of your point. I might move back to, I'm not sure I buy where you're coming from... But you get me thinking about the world we live in, and get me out of my "comfort zone." Keep up the good work.

[@dominicgarcia7212]

I know this is like a super minor thing, but Miles Morales is already a multi-racial character and it's an extremely important part of his character as he is one of the only explicitly Afro-Latino characters in almost any media. This part of his character (at least, it seems like to me, as one of those half white mom/half hispanic dad statistic) has always seemed to inform his openness with dating someone outside his race (as he has also dating Kamala Khan and Kate Bishop). [Love the videos!]

[@lucyandecember2843]

o.o

[@T.H.E.O.R.Y.]

I've tried telling my friend, who is Nuyorican himself, that in doing so they didn't really make Miles black. No shade to anyone involved with the character in any way, but to call him a "black" Spider-Man automatically "irrelevates" his PR side, and would likely make fans of that background feel some kind of way. Also, to me it's simply another case of half-stepping concerning black racial representation like they did when they failed to make Prince Naveen of the Princess and the Frog some idenfitiable black person. I know what I've said comes across as SJWy, but they are trying to show representation and this is that type of video, so I felt it to be warranted. I will always give props for progress, no matter how incremental, however we must acknowledge that there's holes where there are holes and more can and should be done where reasonable.

[@DedHedZed]

As an afro Hispanic. Yeah.

[@edwileo5660]

As a Puerto Rican, I get annoyed how little of that identity is really represented by Miles. But the thing about his character that really gets me is the fact that his father is a cop. You can't tell me that a Black or Brown writer would have made Miles' dad a police officer in the climate he was created in (Brian Michael Bendis was the original creator). Also, it doesn't make sense that his last name is Morales unless it's his father's last name. Miles' parents are together, and our culture is pretty patriarchal--it's weird/out of the ordinary that Miles would take his mother's last name and not his father's. Which implies his father is Afro-Latino too, but he's not portrayed as such. I wonder if Spiderverse will address this, since the Miles we see at the end seems to have a stronger grasp on Spanish than the mainline Miles we've followed in the narrative thus far. But as long as they don't do anything too stupid concerning his identity I'm down for Miles. Who got a more fire suit than him?

[@lucyandecember2843]

@@edwileo5660 i've read a theory about Miles last names that basically states a possible reason for Miles to having mothers last name instead of his dad's, is because his dad might've been involved in crime when he was younger along with uncle Aaron. So when Miles was born he got his mothers last name instead of his fathers since his dad's image wasn't the best the best at the time. This is also why theres such a rift between Aaron and Miles dad as Miles dad eventually became a cop to support his son and wife. It's just a theory but personally i view it as canon as i think it sets a lot into context

[@dap2983]

Thank you so much. I didn't even realize how much of my baggage when it comes to this topic stems from romanticizing interracial relationships as being something progressive and "wholesome" or as a deep and intimate Romeo and Juliet story. Now I can finally start unlearning my fixation on this rosey sapphic fantasy of star-crossed love and try to just love people like a normal person. It's embarrassing how obvious it seems now but I'm very grateful you finally made that click for me.

[@horseheadkid]

sapphic means lesbian

[@kimashitawa8113]

Sapphic?

[@zacbohannon9553]

Having Supereyepatchwolf doing the title card narrations was an unexpected but hilarious crossover.

[@mellodees3663]

lowkey my favorite part of the video XD

[@nowhereman6019]

It's ok, Irish people aren't white At least not until they became cops in Amerikkka.

[@ManicKiwii]

I said the same thing shit came out of no where but was hilarious 😂

[@jhurbon12]

This was THE most comprehensive and historically accurate post! Perception becomes reality if you are not a thinker and a student of history! Thank you for such an insightful and informative post!

[@angryfirefly]

I'm a half black, half Mexican woman. Conversations about biracial people never include people like me because it only matters if one of the parents are white. I get pissed, but also understand that if ever there is any awareness, it probably won't be positive. No news is good news.

[@MrisaVigil]

Make your own video?

[@MrisaVigil]

It's free?

[@firstnamelast5474]

​@@MrisaVigilshe's just expressing herself and no it's absolutely not free it costs time, labor, and possibly even equitment. And that still doesn't guarantee discourse or attention which is what he comment is clearly implying she never sees. Why you hating and bitter?

[@cornerstone7036]

I appreciate that. Im a Black woman and my partner is Mexican. I never see couples like us.

[@pysq8]

There are some conversations, especially online, about "exoticals" which certainly includes this often beautiful combination.

[@redblack9618]

As the white partner of a black person, goddamn I am always so grateful for videos like this because I do not want my relationship with my partner to be me relying on them to help me figure my shit out when I'm trying to think about issues like this.

[@SipMyCharlatte]

Thank you for doing your research. Keep at it. ❤️

[@JGtho]

Listen. Respect to you for doing the work.

[@CharBearBlbpmassagestherapy]

Same. Definitely it's not our black partner's responsibility to educate us. I kinda hate when someone says I'm married to a black person, so I'm not racist. You can still have some anti black views without realizing it.

[@monetrogers7612]

My personal experience as dating as a black woman has been that it’s hard to find a good man period so what color they are is the least of my worries. But I see some couples that are terrible and some are same race and some are interracial. Long story short, people gonna people no matter that their color.

[@rmuzic6531]

No it's not hard...the problem with black women is that you're trying to find the perfect man

[@alxonpc9388]

crazy statement, "hard to find a good man" as if woman are any better than men?

[@Chuck_EL]

I'm a black man my issue is I have biracial kids and it's assumed I only date white women when , I have dated black , white and biracial women throughout my life And I have freezed up when a black woman was interested because I didn't want her to assume she's a "back up plan" Because I don't want her to see that and because so many self hating black men online pull that "white women are better " nonsense I don't ever want any woman of any race to feel they're a rebound or backup plan especially black women

[@UncomfortableConversations7]

This is the problem, women can be broke multiple baby daddies but a hard working man not good enough if he don't cater to a female wishes and b.s!This why you single!I've been dating outside my race for 30yrs plus and always found greater peace and less drama.Married a black woman to try to fit the cultural narrative only to married a gold digger wanna be city girl!So miss me with the idea it's about anyone else other than the person!Accountability Ladies

[@adrien1623]

@@rmuzic6531I think the problem is the morals some children in America were brought up with.

[@cashordeals3672]

Man all these problems just because people who are different races love each other 😮‍💨

[@charlesreid9337]

@@EJH783 racist said what?

[@andycampbell8622]

@@charlesreid9337 haole tears bring life to the earth 😂

[@Hallkardia]

Black and Indigenous history is always so hard to learn more about. It's full of the most inhumane and gruesome stories one could think of. It breaks my heart every time. Thank you for your videos. I'm learning much from them.

[@righteouslioncomedian1069]

There's probably better stories and events to learn about within that scope. The problem with any black and any indigenous history is that it only ever seems to be nothing more than the documentation of the European's interactions with them. Hence violence and/or bullshit bias.

[@Harlonna]

@@righteouslioncomedian1069 this is so real. The only ideal from the right wing scope that I agree with is the topic of slavery/racism be scrutinized to fit in more representation about black American culture & pre colonial Africa. Seeing woman king made me cry because I realized it was the first time I ever got insight into how my ancestors lived prior colonialism. It was beautiful and eye opening.

[@pysq8]

That's what makes it world history. The gruesomeness often comes in when colonization and eurocentricity does.

[@pysq8]

Oh, balance it out with learning about Black and indigenous inventors! ❤ It's so inspiring and amazing! The furnace, CCTV security, fax machines, the mop, the traffic light, the water gun, the ice cream scoop, and soooooo much more...all invented by "Black" folks. ... don't look too far into where the money and manufacturing went or you might get back to the sad stuff. 😅

[@anhedonic-voting]

That stuff about black women at hospital is something my wife had to face. Those nurses gave her something that made her itch then gave her 3 doses of benadryl. I had to ask for the senior nurse or doctor cuz she was half awake during child birth. Our daughter was asleep when born...it was a nightmare.

[@LisaSimpsonRules]

I am sorry for your experience.

[@UpliftedTranceJunkie]

I lived in a very conservative small town growing up and in my early adulthood. I used to dread having to go to the hospital for anything. I had an experience where the attending nurse was very aggressive, condescending, and rude from the get-go, and purposely did something unnecessary that caused me a lot of physical pain while stoically observing my pained reaction, and not apologizing. I just wanted to get out of there, and regretted my decision to go. Also experienced other instances where staff were mean and dismissive where I was completely polite, and I didn't understand why.

[@Carryon22865]

When I was a kid, my mom used some bad tuna apparently, and we all had to go to the hospital for treatment, and I will never forget what this heavy set nurse did to me, I was alone in a hospital bed in a room, and she comes in without saying a word, flips me hard onto my stomach, and without any warning she rammed a suppository up me, so hard, that my body goes stiff with shock and pain, and then she just simply walks out of the room and then she looks back and gives me a dirty look, for Pete's sake I was just a little sick kid, but it didn't matter to her. 😢

[@alejandronopasanada5302]

I had to get my blood monitored for an hour during an ER visit. The LPN didn’t know I was and she kept making sure it hurt. They found the issue after 3 draws so I moved on but let me tell you, I have no want to get along with anyone who says anything near “racism” doesn’t exist. There’s several reasons I had to go to the white hospital anyway.

[@chump315]

When I had my daughter the nurse stuck the needle for iv into my arm but neglected to connect the iv so I was bleeding out onto the floor and she told me to go sleep… when my daughter’s dad came in the room saw what was happening and tried to take a picture the same nurse came in and shunned him about recording her mistake which could have been dire. Also when they started cutting me I could feel it, I told the anesthesiologist and he asked me “are you sure” as the tears rolled down my face…. Yeah

[@saulitix]

FD making John uncomfortable by making him read those titles is my favorite thing

[@gramz33]

Black woman in Chicago here - I am so grateful for your werk, your research, your thoughtful presentation, your analysis. I am so excited to have found your channel. It's frustrating the algorithm only got you into my feed until now - I know that's about the systems tracking and predicting my behavior as a black woman consuming media/products. Etc. Anyway - may you and your family be blessed in abundance, be covered always in divine protection, and know joylove eternal.

[@sabrinaestrada3590]

I've been married to a Puerto Rican Man for almost 10 years. The man loves me and I love him. That's all it boils down to for us. He's good to me, and I'm good to him. I was previously married to a Black Man for about 10 years as well. It just wasn't the right match. It's not "because" he was Black. We just were not right for each other. For me, it would not matter what the race of the man is. I just wanted a good life partner.

[@kinglyduty-z6h]

The question I have did you give the black husband the same (good) treatment you're giving the Hispanic husband? Most black females have admitted to being on their best behavior when they dated nonblack males while treating brothas any type of way.

[@iketurner8212]

​@@kinglyduty-z6h That's facts. The demands from black men vs non-black men is different for most black women, even by their admission.

[@TokyoJuul8008]

​@@kinglyduty-z6hKind of a bad look to ask a woman essentially "what did you do wrong?" while using different words.

[@Bob-mm6uu]

​@@TokyoJuul8008nope he didn't ask her what did she do wrong , he asked her IF she did something wrong . Two different things .

[@l.boogie878]

​@@kinglyduty-z6hMost Black females? There's about 20million Bw in America alone, I can GUARANTEE you haven't met ¹/¹⁵ of that population. And if you're an ADULT male, you're supposed to be referring to "females" as women because as an ADULT man, you're only supposed to be dating Adult women. Not females, which could either include minor's and/or be used synonymously with b*tch, when used by certain males. And could be a indicator of that male, having a disdain/lack of respect for women.

[@CORRECT05]

Making my white friend say "It's a black thing, you wouldn't understand." is exactly some shit I'd do lmao

[@georgep5590]

🤣🤣🤣

[@ReshonBryant]

It pays to just let people talk sometime I swear😅

[@USSAnimeNCC-]

Had me dying

[@IQof2]

White guy here. I was on a date with a BW and she was trying to get me to say "brutha" with full conviction I'm like "oh hahaha you're so funny 👀 😅" and she was like "no do it 😠"

[@sebastiaanv]

@@IQof2did you do it?😂

[@marcobecerra1977]

The last segment was fire bro. You articulated it perfectly. I am mexican. First gen American. The interracial stats were eye opening. Like the Irish and Italian, I can see the seeds being planted for my community becoming white. I already see Mexicans looking down upon the new Latin American immigrants. It’ll take time, but the process is already under way. Learning about the ever-lasting black struggle has been instrumental in maintaining a strong Mexican identity, if that makes sense. Much love.

[@fluidthought42]

It makes sense to me. We live in similar neighborhoods, under similar conditions. The same systemic tools of oppression for black people are being used against Mexicans and Latinos of all stripes (except for Cubans, who were often sponsored by oil companies. No seriously, look up the history of Jeff Bezos' step-dad and "Operation Peter Pan"). The struggle for black liberation provides a body of work to build our own liberation off of, not in contradiction to but in solidarity with black Americans. Especially since they've had way longer to figure out how the US works.

[@misslady5029]

It does make sense. What happened to black people was planned. Don't let that happen to your community. Continue to pray and love one another. 😊

[@fluidthought42]

@@misslady5029 Actually I see the path for Mexican Americans to follow that of say Italians or perhaps Asians (South, East and in-between) ie being subsumed under whiteness or perhaps as a possible model minority model. Or rather, that's what will happen to a subsection of white-passing and conformist Mexicans while the rest are set to view those as aspirational goals. Because actual uplifting isn't possible without economic and welfare policies that would actually do something about Mexican poverty. As a people who are already quite mixed (mestizo is our term for it) intermarrying isn't an existential threat, but as a people who have to deal with an imperialist culture and our need to deal in the society that hosts both that culture and us we are in danger of losing touch with our own culture in favor of complete assimilation (which white authoritarians would prefer for a myriad of reasons). Luckily, we do still have a connection with our own country that we can more easily maintain (which is an immigrant privilege that was never extended to black slaves). In other words, for Mexicans trying to fearmonger about "mixing blood" isn't usually viewed as valid (although admittedly anti-black sentiment and colorism is still pervasive in Mexican culture), but cultural mixing IS feared because of the assumption that due to White American culture being that of a global hegemony it will naturally overwhelm our own identities. Personally, I think both fears are unfounded but the latter has way more traction than the former. We have already seen it happen to some extent in White Hispanic Americans who do not view themselves in solidarity with other Hispanics. But we also saw the the opposite with the unique strain of Chicano culture in the US and how it's been maintained through the years, modifying itself as different waves of Mexican immigrants (some earlier waves predating before the concept of "illegal Mexicans" existed in the US) come in across the years.

[@misslady5029]

@fluidthought42 You gave a very well thought out summary of your community. I commend you. I'm aware of the colorism within Latin American culture as well. Thank you for presenting your facts and clarifying the differences.🙂

[@redmaple1982]

One factor worth noting is the impact of religion/culture. Latinos (including Brazilians and Haitians) and Philipinos of all colors are mostly catholic and their family dynamics are extremely similar to that of Mediterraneans. While there may be an assimilation component to a Mexican /Italian pairing most likely what is going on is a very logical merging of population groups. There is less of a cultural divide between Mexican and Italian than there is between Italian and Anglo-Saxon protestant.

[@xiiguardian]

My grandmother was white and grandfather was black. And it really just occurred to me as you were going into the history of how hard it must have been in the 1950s and 60s for them. They passed before I ever met them so I can’t ask now.

[@inathi1329]

I'm South African and even here we have the issue of media over representing racially mixed couples and particularly mixed family structures. Our population is over 80% black and mixed couples are virtually unheard of. The only places you can observe mixed couples are in the major cities and even then its a rare citing. Our media is white owned which explains a lot. We have a unique myth around being "the rainbow nation" which is a myth similar to "the american dream" that informs such representations though.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

That rainbow nation thing was a scapegoat to unaddressed the social issues and consequences of apartheid personally

[@BrittneySamoneSilver]

They also speak a lot about skin bleaching in the media.

[@do3807]

Safas 💯

[@EvolutionofEva]

Wherever I go in these pro-black and pro-black academia spaces on KZbin I always find a SouthAh in the comments and it makes me so happy to know there are people (and I'm guessing you are also a born-free if not, a millennial keen to learn / unlearn & build / dismantle). As a darker coloured with kroes hair, men within my OWN RACE has made me feel undesirable. I dated a lightskin coloured (he was so light his nickname was Boere bc u know in kasi everyone has nicknames... mine was kroeskop/bossiekop lmfao) and EVERYONE was angry because "she has kroes hair" etc. There is a lot to say about anti-blackness in my community but that's a different discussion that will take me the whole damn day. The point of me bringing that up was that even in a coloured township in the coloured "capital" (Western Cape), people were angry - even though I am also literally coloured but you'd think twice upon first glance. Apartheid left a legacy of white supremacy everywhere - even in kasis where it's overwhelmingly just one racial group. Our media doesn't represent inter-racial couples and even when they do, its Siya Kolisi & Rachel, Bryan Habana & his wife, the late AKA & Zinhle. It's often skewed (misogynoir entering the chat here) to represent men who are of colour or just men nje (remember how gagged we ALL were to see J'Something from Micasa's wife!!!!) because of the intersectional legacy of Apartheid. White Men = Most valued, Black women = least valued. So gender, race & (sometimes class) overlap to dictate whom the media shows. Siya is everywhere because of gender but mostly CLASS (thank you Nelly M for that one, Cyril Cupcake Ramapheezy learned from the best there) because we place rugby players (sports stars excl bafana tbh) into higher social & economic class. One outlier would be McCarthy or Matthew Booth but then again gender and with Booth - race (and also they were in the golden "we are one", "rainbow nation", "I'm not white im South Africa" era post-apartheid group of sports stars who actually WON, so). Coming back to intersectional oppression think of how black South African QUEER dancer Somizi & his partners weren't in traditional media AT ALL. You had to go seek them out online, the blogs, etc. Siff shit.

[@TheHoodVoice2024]

Black people stay strong

[@CompletelyBlankPage]

Fig making an hour-fifteen long video about why he wished his left hand were white so he can do a raceplay stranger was very unexpected, but I admire his candidness.

[@largeproblem]

understanding the words in this comment requires knowledge no being should ever be cursed with knowing

[@0404chrisjz]

He just wish he was white period

[@RapidBlindfolds]

When theneedledrop fans discover FD signifier

[@chumajamesnxele106]

​@@largeproblemI'm sincerely trying to understand and empathize with the comment but...whats a raceplay stranger? 😂😂

[@aliceyuri]

​@@chumajamesnxele106I need to know what this means too

[@vincentandrew8]

i was kinda scared to watch this ngl, being mixed myself. but you did a great job of tackling this subject. i was forced to stop being friends with a kid in 1st grade because her mom, who was black, didnt like the fact that my mom(also black) was with a white guy. then years later i learned a lot of my moms coworkers who were also black didnt like the idea of race mixing, which left me feeling a certain way for a long time. i talked with these ladies on a face to face basis and gifted me quite a few things for holidays and stuff, so it was very hurtful. but i got a better understanding of where they were coming from now... it just sucks that this was their conclusion. not to mention on my mom's side, one of my great aunts gifted me a doll the summer after 1st grade too, but with a catch. i had to choose between a white and black doll. i repressed the memory until a few years ago and now it haunts me when shit like this comes up. its a sore spot for sure so i appreciate you approaching it in this way.

[@kazihiseguy-fernand4637]

😮My goodness…

[@just_some_donkus]

the doll... sending love.

[@billy2896]

Wow.. im so sorry. thats so strange.

[@asafoetidajones8181]

That's like, a scene from a dark TV drama.

[@elaryn.new.22]

This!!! As a mixed person, this conversation is always tough for me. I understand the need to have it but it always feels like my existence is called into question. I'm wishing for a time in the future when this conversation is no longer necessary.

[@Seraph_Krow]

Supereyepatchwolf as a title reader was just...genius. Chef's kiss. Love it.

[@JohnCloccwork]

For one week, I took a picture every time I saw a black man with a partner or children. I only saw one or two commercials where a black man was with a black woman. All others featured black men with nonblack partners or biracial children.

[@charlesreid9337]

NOT very far in the past the only commercials you would see with poc in them were commercials with Only poc in them.. targetted at the poc demographic. When you find yourself upset at progress perhaps you need to read up on what your parents and grandparents faced instead of saying things far right terrorists would say

[@elthion22]

Something that I never though about until the Spider-verse section is the value provided by Cody Ziglar in his current Miles Morales run with working with other prominent Black super heroes like Misty Knight and Blade. While Miles personal life has always had significant Black characters, as a super hero he's never really depicted interacting prominently with other Black super heroes. So to see Miles looking up to and learning from those characters as role models provides a dimensionality to his life that was sorely lacking, and I'm glad that Ziglar was able to tell these stories.

[@21swords76]

Honestly I don’t get why he picked Misty of all people. They’ve barely interacted in the comics. I would have picked Luke but he’s mayor now.

[@BKMediaMan]

I thought about. I actually stopped reading his book because of his non -interaction, but was pleasantly surprised to see that changed

[@nadab6853]

Your time is NEVER wasted when you teach us! Please keep going.

[@Snorlax-th6tl]

Black person here. I’m open to dating both black and non black. I’ve had both good and bad experiences with black and non black women. I don’t like pseudo science. We’re all humans. Race is a social construct. The rest is environmental adaptations and socialization. Go to therapy and heal. Date who you love. Don’t live contingent on how people react to you or you’ll be unhappy. People are dating interracial more than ever and I’m all for it.

[@mylittledashie7419]

Learning about the "Ain't I a Woman" speech for the first time (don't be angry at me, I'm Scottish), pausing the video to go listen to Kerry Washington peform it, finding it pretty effective, only to have FD truth bomb me 20 minutes later was a rollercoaster I was not prepared for. God fucking damn... Can't imagine how I would feel if I was one of those black kids who grew up thinking these were the poinant words of a black woman, instead of the bizarre, racist fantasies of some white lady.

[@KashForte]

That threw me as well…. 😢

[@eddyawesomes]

Man, you put this in such a good way. I’m an immigrant Mexican brown gay man and I asked my husband once, why are all these POC people in advertising and media always mixed. Like it’s too much. He thought I was crazy until he started noticing it too. He is a second generation Mexican American, much lighter skinned than me, idk if that’s why I’m the one always screaming out against Amerikkkan society. But any way, I made a white friend last year, my first white cis hetero white friend ever I think. And he claims to be all progressive and stuff, and in some things he is. But when we were talking about media and I mentioned this issue he basically told me I was wrong for being against race mixing. He could not understand why it made me feel off, like POCs not being able to be a couple in media. I wish I was as eloquent and informed as you. In fact I have so many ideas for video essays but I’m afraid to do it. For example, why is it that Mexicans are the majority of Hispanic people in the US, yet most of the Hispanic media representation is Cuban, Colombian, Venezuelan, like everything but Mexican. But if it’s a housekeeper or a gardener, slap the Mexican accent on them. The only Mexicans who get spotlight are the ones that play into the cholo or the george Lopez type of humor. I’m in my 30s with mostly Mexican and black friends and we are all professionals, teachers, politician staffers, real estate developers, and we don’t get to see that ever.

[@ElianalaDivina]

As a Mexican American, you should totally go for it! I’ve noticed the huge lack of representation in media for Mexicans too, and when we do have some representation, oftentimes the characters aren’t even played by Mexican actors, and I feel like there’s a lot to talk about when it comes to how Mexican culture interacts with other things. I say def go for it, and if not video essays, at least some scholarly essays :) you wont regret it

[@thefloodwatch785]

sorry just for clarification are you against mixed race relationships or are you saying there are issues with how mixed race relationships are presented in the media and fetishized by white people?

[@thegoldthatglitters]

As someone who loves these discussions and has also dissuaded herself from doing video essays, I think you should go for it. I would, but I fear that I'm not able to elaborate or bring as thoughtful insights to the table as I hear on channels such as this one.

[@nonino1644]

There’s way more black couples in the media. Mixed couples is relatively new in the media. People are threatened because it’s NOW more BW with non BM in the media.

[@nonino1644]

@@ElianalaDivinaIt’s USA. Why would the nation want to consume Mexican culture? Mexican culture is fine and thriving.

[@ams197610]

The Sojourner Truth reveal (to me) at the end made my jaw drop. I love this channel for the educational content he provides.

[@coulorfully]

same!!!

[@coulorfully]

but also. not super suprising in the the sense , I watched a Zora Neal Hurston doc and it said she was funded for years by a white woman who sincerely believed she understood black folk better than black folk themselves and saw them as primitive. She was relieved when she didn't need her support any longer to fund her collection of black cultures.

[@MartyMar89]

I came from Olay and friends! This is some strong and well done work!You sir will grow and continue to create some phenomenal thought provoking and seed planting content. I’ll be a new subscriber and looking forward to your work.

[@Deemo202]

The data section made me feel so much better. Every time I would see interracial dating discourse I would be like “Man black folks mostly date each other why are we arguing about this?” lmaooo

[@chrislyn1868]

Probably because we barely marry, and when we do our divorce rates are very high. Just a thought.

[@theman9048]

​@@chrislyn1868he is right those things have to do with structural racism and not ir dating

[@ReshonBryant]

Sexual assault=Reparations 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@KAye633]

@@chrislyn1868😂 lol ok

[@aquarius-woman5364]

​@@chrislyn1868Black women don't divorce as high when in IR. It's the opposite for black men in IR

[@obitouchiha6439]

Always remember that there is a fine line between being in an intimate partnership with a person, REGARDLESS of that person's race VS being in an intimate partnership with a person BECAUSE of that person's race. Do with that knowledge how you see fit.

[@wishingwell_333]

is "fine line" the best way to put it? i feel like you know what you're doing if you do one or the other. like you're just a person vs you like someone bc they're black or whatever race i mean they're very different things actually lol

[@GentleBreeze-ib9dz]

@@wishingwell_333you make no sense.

[@wishingwell_333]

@@GentleBreeze-ib9dz it happens sometimes idk if you meant to be rude or jus tell me i don't make sense but yeah oops my bad what was the point of your comment even lol

[@kwarra-an]

@@GentleBreeze-ib9dz it made sense to me. They're saying it's not really a "fine" line at all.

[@seanyoung9014]

I would disagree that it's a fine line. They're two completely different things. People who don't generally approve of interracial relationships like to _say_ it's a fine line but as evidenced by this comment section, those people like to say all kinds of questionable things.

[@wirelessbaguette8997]

24:16 This is such a good point. I think one reason many (white) people's gut reaction to hearing about black people having a desire for their own community free from white people is negative is that American's have been propagandized in education to believe that America is and has always been a "melting pot" where immigrants come here, immediately lose their original cultural identity, and fully assimilate. As you point out here, this is nonsense on its face. Practically all immigrant groups formed and maintain insular communities of their own in order to manage the perils of living in an imperialist country. It should be no surprise at all that black people also want to form such communities for their own safety and well-being.

[@fluidthought42]

I would argue that immigrant communities are "semi-insular", and that ethnic enclaves are more determined by systemic factors than personal choice. After all, if people really had a true choice nobody would _choose_ to live in the ghetto. But I do know that despite me saying that, there is still a tendency, usually more on a block to block basis, of ethnic distribution. So I can't deny that this shit exists to some extent, but I can point out that the idea of ethnic enclaves is only as true as the systems that created and enforced white enclaves, and how they adapted as time passed by and how that affected other ethnic groups. For example, Chinese immigrants to the South often intermarried with black women, because Jim Crow laws applied to both Chinese people and black people and thus they often shared the same neighborhood (and besides that, Chinese women did not immigrate to the US at nearly the same rate). Chinese/Black history was deeply muddled by the Immigration Act of 1965 and the influx of more well educated and more wealthy Chinese immigrants who's success was weaponized as a contrast to black oppression. This deeper shared history hasn't been repressed per se, but rather that it's hard to seperate the nuances of different waves of immigrants coming to the US and their interactions with the preexisting black communities, and how these nuances mattered. However, lots of more European immigrant communities were eventually folded into whiteness and it's privileges, with the use of blockbusting and redlining and all those classics. Before then though, many reports put black/immigrant interactions are more analogous in my view to the black/latino dynamic, yknow we fight we laugh we fuck and yeah there's pockets where there's definitely a noticeable concentration of specific melanin levels but overall we don't "self segregate" as much as White WASPS did and still do, especially since white people were the ones who controlled the levers of power and determined how cities would be designed and communities built (and still do in a very real sense to this day).

[@vorak7]

I'm certainly from a different aisle politically, but like to hear folks with different views to keep honest. You seem intellectually honest and have darn good info. You've earned a Subscriber.

[@ShadowDrakken]

I would take it a level further: I have never met a person who says "I will never date XYZ race/ethnicity/color people" who doesn't turn out to be an a**hole.

[@andreabrown4541]

Seriously! You may have missed some of the content.

[@asafoetidajones8181]

I remember a conversation in 8th grade, myself and my friends, all white. The topic was if you'd date a black girl. Kevin said no, and everyone was like "why not?" And he said "I ain't paying for all that hair stuff". I still think about that 30 years later.

[@beanstheclown]

Maybe I am an asshole (I'm obviously not going to be the best judge of that), and I wouldn't go with a hard never, but I did purposefully not pursue a black partner when I entered the dating scene because I recognized the power dynamics etc would be an extra level of difficulty on top of my autism that I wasn't really equipped to take on (as it was/is navigating differences within similar cultural upbringings has been difficult enough, though certainly worth it). Perhaps some day if my now wife were to pass on unexpectedly I would be more open to it, but even now I don't know that I have "done enough work" as it were to be able to comfortably say I could enter an interracial relationship in a way that would be healthy for said potential partner...

[@ShadowDrakken]

@@beanstheclown it's a bit different saying "I'm not comfortable enough with myself to try dating someone" vs rejecting a person's personhood by saying "I will NEVER date one of THOSE people"

[@vivalalirpa]

Why do I have to be attracted to non blacks?

[@noaffiliation-x8w]

I’m a goth half black/half white dude but I’m actually pretty dark and I’ve found that because of my outwardly goth-alt appearance, black women want nothing to do with me, but goth white women also want nothing to do with me because they’re so used to dating and seeing white men and faces within goth culture. It’s a weird one that’s left me without any dating options even though I’m tall and what people would call stereotypically attractive.

[@manniking233]

I wanted to say "Go Asian" but I then remembered the spirit of this essay by Fiq. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 So I'll keep it at, keep striving and focus on life... you'll find what you're looking for, eventually. Good day.

[@Professoryu]

As a goth black girl myself, I can honestly say the dating scene can be weird, you’ll find what you’re looking for stranger. Don’t stress.

[@righteouslioncomedian1069]

In my experience, 'artsy' black chicks and/or white chicks outside the goth world may embrace you. Keep looking, Queen Bubba is out there. 🤝🏽👍🏽💯

[@kjs9]

Maybe the you should end the “Goth” phase 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@SCHRODINGERS_WHORE]

I'm a metal head, woman. It's been ruff, black dudes just laugh at me and call me "manly"

[@Nassifeh]

One of my parents was Mexican, the other was white. And my mom got, uh, pretty racist after the divorce? And eventually I had to wind up estranged from her completely. It's hard to be like, yeah in *theory* I think this is fine, but...

[@silentj624]

It sounds like she just might be better. I went through a phase where I stopped dating black men because all of them hurt me

[@mia_2043]

​@@silentj624You mean "bitter" right

[@ThePulaskiPumper]

​@silentj624 then you realized it's a gender thing not a race thing. We're all on our bs

[@HotTaiCurry]

@@silentj624man if you don’t mean bitter, this is a WILD statement. I respect the brazen nature tho.

[@TheFoolishable]

You can never be too sure these days. It is human nature to want to stay away from something that hurts you. It takes an emotionally adept person to not let their bad experience with one person not define their outlook on an entire group that shares the same characteristics

[@kat-of-nine-tales8394]

I feel so bad for all the black women in these comments getting absolutely swamped in replies by the weirdest little men.

[@flyingdart9819]

Bruh, I just came out of a wild comment section.

[@Mimi90353]

'Hey shawty what it is ' to 'Liscense and registration, please' is one of the best phrases ever!! Another great analysis

[@tshidi129]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@abena7969]

I laughed so hard😂😂😂😂

[@ihavetogotowork1668]

I forgot he even said that until i came across this comment. 😂

[@synthiandrakon]

One thing thats always struck me as weird about the represenation of interacial couples is how few representations seek to celebrate the clash of cultures. Having grown up around different things, hearing different music, eating different foods, having different tastes in art and decor. These can be wonderful things about being in an interacial couple.

[@wiseoldfool101]

I'm a white guy. I've dated and been in relationships with many black women. Most of the time I really didn't find any huge culture gap to overcome. Sometimes. I found to be more pronounced the less educated they were. But when they were or are more educated and most importantly a curious person by nature we would just go out and have experiences together and laugh and enjoy eachothers company. No thought about race seemed to pop up. And occasionally we might make a race based joke about about each other. But as long as it was funny we'd laugh. That was my experience with most of these women.

[@darnellfelix8114]

personally i never thought of it much, my partner is white and im black but a part of why we've worked so well is due to all the similarities we share, there just isnt alot of differences to discuss in our case.

[@ballershanelle]

Not always a culture clash, if u draw to similiar types. Music might be different but you dont have to listen to thier music.

[@LamontCalloway-i7u]

Funny, never had issues in my world, they were there. Just not like today. Im dark , and mama of my child got skin that dont tan and reddish hair and freckles. Had a pretty child. Not together for years now, just mentioning it

[@viberantpearl]

Surface relationship 😢

[@pouletsept5099]

Great video man. I myself am in a gay biracial relationship. My partner is white and I am black. I'm lucky enough that he takes the time to listen and also asked questions about my experience as a black man. He understands that he's in the thick of it now and the only way he's going to become a better person and understand my experience is to listen and ask questions. On the reverse side of that, he's taught me a lot about his experiences and what he's overcome. Sadly A lot of the father figures in his life were very angry racist men, his father being a hells angels biker. Despite that he was able to get away from him and all of that nonsense at a young age. And just like me he's still learning how to be a better man. We've been together for 7 years now.

[@Nathouuuutheone]

It is CRAZY how wildly different of an experience one gets around HA bikers. You can easily find one that's hella racist and finds any excuse to enact violence against women and queer people, and it is also easy to find one who would shoot anyone who dares touch a woman, a gay man, or say the n-word. Crazy. I have very limited experiences, most secondhand and most on the positive side, but damn it's a whole mess.

[@gracebowyer95]

Thanks for the video! I found you through the Kendrick/Drake video and I'm loving digging into your back catalogue. One thing that kept sticking out in my mind when it was mentioned is the idea that Black folks marrying outside their race "removes" resources from communities of color - assuming they have kids, are these resources not going to their biracial children? And even if they don't have kids, if marrying outside your race redirects resources into the community you're marrying into, it cuts both ways. Would the non-Black partner in these couples not also be "removing" resources from their own racial community and putting them toward the Black communities they're marrying into? I just really don't understand this argument.

[@artemiscrimson]

I’m biracial of the black/white persuasion and, I’m also like halfway through the video so he might address this idk but in my experience it’s based very heavily on how you look if your supposed “community” will count you or not. If they can tell who your parents are, if they can figure out you’re not like them, and apparence plays a big role. On top of that there’s this, feeling often enforced that those resources could have always gone to someone without the burden of your heritage, whichever half they’re taking issue with. You’re very rarely seen as belonging to either community, the resources your parents give you are going to an outlier not a community. Which yeah yeah video states the causes and caveats of why things are this way. The shit still sucks. And you don’t want to feel like you’re taking away from the black community by pushing your way in too forcefully because you don’t reallllly get it, it’s a black thing so how can you reeeeeally get it? But you get it enough to know you don’t want to hurt what’s almost your community. They’re a close enough it hurts like it’s your own, even if it’s not.

[@sbbekdnsnndndkd8]

One thing I would like to add is the lack of representation seen in media of pacific islanders. Although we have took matters in our own hands a lot of my childhood was seeing indigenous characters through the lenses and narratives crafted by white people. The biggest example of this is Moana. They knew that showing an interracial relationship failed in Pocahontas so in the new iteration of basically the same story (moana) they didn't show romance at all. This was seen as a feminist move at the time but I never saw it that way. Being half white and never seeing indigenous brown couples was hard for me growing up even the Polynesian boys I know now prefer white girls, latina girls, or light girls over anything.

[@WastedBananas]

there's like 2 million polynesians. the reason you don't see them as much is because in terms of numbers its a tiny community.

[@rhino5100]

Gen-X here. I'm not sure about this, but having raised 3 children (I'm white, husband is SE Asian) I can say that my education in public school in pre "no child left behind days" was more comprehensive than my children's education. I was disgusted by the Pocahantas movie. We were taught about that story, and everyone in my peer group knows that Pocahantas was around 8 years old and Capt. John Smith was in his upper 30's, at least 35 years old when they met. The idea of a romance between those 2 people is not only historically incorrect because it didn't happen....its sick. Putting that in there as "artistic license" or a plot twist is completely disgusting, but not because of race. I'm not sure if younger folks get that. I worked hard to teach my kids about the mountain of stuff they didn't learn in school because their education was much more geared to performing on standardized tests than mine was. I think it affects us as a country to this very day, including the loss of critical thinking skills. Sorry, its an off-topic soapbox because it's not about race.

[@verdurite]

@@WastedBananas and?

[@johnsgoodboy]

there wasn't any romance because she spent the whole movie hanging out with 1 adult dude???

[@laurencarlson1235]

I always love when these videos include other KZbinrs reading the titles because it’s so exciting to see that F.D. Signifier likes the same channels I do

[@peachesandcream22]

Thank you for the video! It hits home because I experienced it through my Russian family. My half-aunt, my dad’s sister from my grandfather’s second marriage, once married a Nigerian man and gave birth to my cousins. I don’t know why, but that man didn't want to take the responsibility of fatherhood, abandoned my aunt and returned to Nigeria. Neither he nor his Nigerian family ever contacted my aunt and never inquired about the fate of the girls. The girls are raised by their white Russian mother and grandparents. They have been going to school for a year now, and I can already see how the majority and even some parts of our family treat them as "others". I heard people say about my cousins: "Oh, I saw how they played, their games aren't at all like the games of OUR children" (like if my cousins aren't even Russians) . Even my grandmom, my granddad’s ex-wife, sometimes teases the girls with racism and can call them “little monkeys”. I love my family, but I don't want my cousins to feel like they're "outsiders" just because they're biracial. I’ll say it from a Russian perspective of biracial relationships: when there were Youth Festivals and white Russian girls gave birth to children from dark-skinned visitors, they were hit with such a barrage of hatred and bullying towards their biracial children that we can talk about it endlessly. In general, judging by the history of the Soviet Union and present-day Russia, people constantly talk about “equality”, that “there is no racism in Russia, we accept dark-skinned people as people,” but at the same time, if a white Russian girl wants to start a relationship with a dark-skinned guy, she and her partner will experience a barrage of hate. Moreover, if a white Russian girl starts a relationship with a white foreigner (mainly from America and Western Europe), then the majority won't care at all. When a white Russian man wants to date a non-white woman, people will even support him and call his partner “exotic.” The systemic idea that non-white men (especially from post-Soviet Central Asia) are trying to “take over Russia” through white Russian women and that “they are spoiling our gene pool” has become so wedged into Russian society that no one wants to talk about it, because just dare mention this hypocrisy, then expect hatred, bullying and even death threats from your own people. So, I think yall understand what I mean when I don't trust "there's no racism in Russia" bias, despite me being a white Russian. Because, yeah, a lot of Black foreigners had pleasant experiences while travelling Russia, you won't hear someone shouting racist slurs at the Black man on streets. But just because Russian or just Eastern European racism is different from American racism, it doesn't mean we don't have it all. Our racism is deeply rooted in xenophobia and Slavic nationalism. Our folks will accept you as non-white IF you will be at the acceptable distance and you don't try to interrogate into Russian society (cause it is automatically seen as a threat). Sorry for a long comment, but I really wanted to express everything that your video revoked inside me.

[@Yunglex313]

I feel like this is something that sits in a lot of cultures all over the world. I spent several years in Japan and have learned a lot about Japanese society. As foreign tourist, no matter what race you are, if you go to Japan for vacation and behave well during your stay, honor their customs and traditions, and you will be fine. No one will insult, no one will hate you just for being different. You might see a little resistance from some, but at most it's a rejection of service because they don't want to deal with foreigners for whatever reason. Stay there for a long time and try to integrate into Japanese society, and even if you date, have a family with a local, they will still see you as a foreigner and your kids will be seen as different, despite growing up alongside other Japanese children, because they are. All this tells me is that countries are still dealing with breaking away from their traditionalist nationalism and values that have been ingrained for Eons in a world where more and more people are finding that they want to live in a culture that is completely different from where they were born.

[@deezonyxde77]

Thanks for sharing. I hope you are in your cousins life and you serve as a beacon of light for them. Give them info about their heritage on both sides, etc. and the good things in the world. It will give them strength ❤ when they need it the most.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

The sad thing is in Western Europe there's a lot of xenophobia towards Eastern European or slavs people in general

[@gerhardshreder2391]

there IS racism in Russia, but there is no 100 years of slavery of black people (Instead, the slaves of rich people were white peasants, but it is another topic)

[@swampsprite9]

​@@gerhardshreder2391 Yes poor white people were and still are treated abusively even though overall white people get/got treated best. Mainstream media ignores those whites, conservative and liberal both ignore, because they don't want to address classism.

[@cameroniizuka]

great vid, FD! Especially as a non-black person of color, knowing this statistical info is so important for minding my damn business! Also so glad you circled back to how the now-famous "Ain't I A Woman" speech was faked by a white woman journalist like ten years after the original speech was even orated! When I learned that a few years ago it was a major face crack! It's cool that there are documents today that attempt to re-create the more-likely tone and writing of the speech, but it's just so upsetting that the one we're most used to seeing was racist caricature by a white lady using Sojourner's name alone to peddle her particular (white) feminist agenda

[@jammysau]

the bit talking about other ethnic groups establishing their own enclaves is such a valid, and as the kids would say, “w” point. myself being a south asian immigrant in the US who lives in two worlds at once - being an artist in a multicultural but mostly white dominant sphere, yet also being indian, i have such an easy out to go back to my community and have a built-in network i can utilize for everything from professional opportunities to straight up marriages. the fact that we as a greater diaspora have a central hub we can call the motherland and generally be accepted back into because of our heritage is such an important and valuable thing, which i’ve realized in consuming your material is something that in every sense of the term got ripped away from the black american diaspora. i’ve stopped watching in having to think about that, but i’m excited to get back in to learn something new again. as always, thank you fd. your shit is something else.

[@WastedBananas]

there's no such thing as a "South Asian". the term is Desi.

[@jammysau]

@@WastedBananas bhai saheb sabhi ko ye shabd pata nahi hota hain to angrezi mein keheni ki majboori hai, maaf keejiye

[@PHlophe]

its the difference here where Desi can nurture their culture deeper and Black people constantly have theirs cracked open, ripped apart, stolen and borrowed. so its a continuous effort to rebuilt each time. Now you got me thinking i need to pop at my local Tandoori. Roti are a bit pricier these days . Blame it on inflation. I just hope Hardeep and Kuldeep are going to survive this round of economic trouble.

[@Jabari-vm6jq]

I'm a 33 yo gay black men. I don't think I've ever seen a commercial featuring a black queer couple before. The overrepresentation of interracial couples in media is incessant and honestly ridiculous. We all see it. We all feel it. Great video as always!

[@Pinkladyisv]

There’s actually a Christmas one from Etsy. A black gay couple are at a family gathering together.

[@Empathy_is_Logical]

"ummm technically they made commercials for moonlight so checkmate" /s

[@gphjr1444]

Unfortunately the only commercials I’ve seen are for the HIV medications.

[@brian_Austin27]

Yeah u have to look for them,

[@bonystickmanking1250]

​@@gphjr1444which is so distasteful if we're being honest

[@Chilair1]

Wow Dr. Umar is actually very funny. Lmao As a black woman that’s dated all kinds of people, this video was so spot on and I’m really glad I watched it. I grew up middle class and had access to all different communities to date. It sometimes seems all men are actually equally as bad for me but just for different reasons. 😭

[@DrUmarJohnson1]

Peace and Pan-Africanism

[@truthseeker215]

I love how women like u have to throw black men in bcuz u thought swirling was the answer and had bad experiences.

[@No1shigeokageyamafan]

​@@truthseeker215she didn't even say non of that

[@truthseeker215]

@@No1shigeokageyamafan she didn’t have to say it. You can play dumb but I don’t l.

[@No1shigeokageyamafan]

@@truthseeker215 ur just projecting whatever bad experience u had on this random person

[@AnneLives81]

I appreciate your critical lens on the world and just appreciate your patience and willingness to discuss and educate people on important topics and conversations. Thank you.

[@eafortson]

I initially commented on F.D’s post announcing he would be making this video, and expressed my interest but also my apprehension (being a black person of mixed heritage who is in an interracial relationship). I’m happy to report I’m impressed as I usually am with his valuable commentary on this topic. There is a lot to be praised here as it was thorough, evidence based and overall a balanced, nuanced and thoughtful take. If I had to pick one criticism tho, it would be that the title kind of bothers me. Because I don’t feel this is actually a video “about” interracial relationships. It’s more about the context and environment in which they exist (and to an extent don’t exist based on the data) or how they are misrepresented. But very little in the video actually has anything to do with the reality of an Interracial couple or their experience. I guess that makes sense, since F.D states he has no experience in this area as he has never dated out. Generally when he covers topics outside his personal experience or expertise he includes interviews with representatives in that space. So my main criticism would be, it would have been nice to have some of that here. I feel like it was a missed opportunity. That said it’s a minor criticism, as it wasn’t needed to express the point he was making, and could be rectified by simply editing the title of the vid to reflect that.

[@spokeninpages]

This is very interesting to me. I've been in an interracial marriage for 16 years (white man). We are just living. We have been through chronic illnesses, family deaths, etc. I never thought of us as "swirlers". We just fell in love, put God first, and dedicate ourdelves to creating happiness. I definitely see the time that you dedicated to this video❤

[@millennialodyssey5956]

I agree! Same as you! My husband and I have been together for over 13 years. He is Caucasian. We are from 2 different generations 2 different cultures and two different demographics. But he grew up very similar as me and we both know God helped us find each other. We are so much alike. People are just people when I see a couple the last thing I think about is why they are together since they look differently. In fact I love hearing the story of how they chose each other.

[@thesquareroute6650]

Are you happy? Are you in Love? There you go. It's not a big deal to me personally. I'm married to a Black woman and women are the joint in general. Who cares?

[@Salik96]

​@@thesquareroute6650 Prejudice people do.

[@yo3rdtier128]

Ma’ma .. all that doesn’t mean you’re not “swirlers” it is what it is, if the shoe fit wear it

[@gabrylmack5084]

I just found it interesting when Black people are so out of touch with their culture, community, history and self preservation that they give themselves to other races especially children of colonializers , how do you completely embrace who you are when you allow yourself to be joined as one as one with a person who will never truly understand nor can they connect with you on a deeper ancestral level?

[@micahbass770]

As a white man the subject of anti-blackness is probably the hardest part for conservatives to accept. When I talked with conservatives they always see racism as a switch not a slider. That’s how they get away with this double think that “they” are not racist. Since they don’t actively hate black people they can’t be racist. This is why what Texas and Florida are doing is so terrible.

[@AMcGrath82]

People seeing issues as "switch not a slider" as you say is a huge crux of most political discourse these days. It's alarming.

[@SipMyCharlatte]

THIS is a major problem in Portland! Especially because we consider ourselves so progressive. As soon as you challenge their bias, suddenly black people are "victimizing themselves" and "taking it all the wrong way"

[@markparham]

@@SipMyCharlatte they call black people victims as a way to distract and deflect on certain issues when people say stuff like that i talk about black issues even more some people can't stand to look in the mirror and not see a perfect angel

[@SquirtlePower809]

I respectfully disagree. As a white man (which having to disclose that is problematic in and of itself and is a marker of just how hyper-racialized society has become, but particularly on the left) I was a longtime liberal SJW type and even have a Masters degree in Race and Rhetoric-- I am now a conservative since about 3 years ago. First, I reject this generalization and stereotype of conservative people as being anti-black. It's inaccurate, dishonest, and silly. In fact, the most racist people I have ever met come from the left. Conservatives are the group that wants people treated on the basis of the character and not on the melanin in their skin. I can't say the same for the left. And yes, we do see racism in an active sense (or the "switch" as you call it), because we have seen how grossly overapplied the "sliding" method, in which you mean "spectrum", has been used. Basically, calls of "Racism" have been so distorted and used in the most ridiculous ways that it has lost its power. This is a simple communication theory concept that the more you use the term the more diluted it becomes. In today's climate EVERYONE is racist all the time, no matter what you say or do and so people don't care anymore about getting called one. We don't take it seriously anymore. The extrapolation of meaning where none is intended is farcical and it is the reason why black conservatives are one of the fastest growing demographics in America. I believe much of the black community is sick and tired of the "blame the white man for everything" narrative and are starting to go back to some of the original great black thinkers like Malcolm X, MLK, Thomas Sowell, etc. Because they all focus on personal responsibility, culture, and community. Race relations have NEVER BEEN WORSE in the last 30-40 years and that is directly the fault of CRT, BLM, and the hyper fixation of race. Conservatives are happy to talk about, recognize, and correct REAL instances of racism. But, if you just want to whine and complain about how skittles are a racist candy because there is not a black skittle, please see yourself out, we don't have time for that nonsense. Stop the victimization, it's not a good look especially in a country where you have every single right and opportunity afforded to you as any other person. As you said, look in the mirror first before wanting to place blame at someone else's feet.

[@FrostbitexP]

@@SquirtlePower809 I mean, just the fact that you can go on conservative news sites that have comment sections and see a clear abundance of unquestionably racist comments (often times upvoted a fair bit too) says a lot.

[@JLittleBass]

This really opened my eyes to the way interracial couples are overrepresented and all-black couples are underrepresented in media. Thanks!

[@Daron7181]

“Being black is inherently political.” That just hit me to my core.

[@jimtc1000]

You do it to yourselves.

[@ChannelMath]

@@jimtc1000 so you think it's problem that being black is inherently political?

[@-ucanthandledatruth01-12]

@@ChannelMath I don't even think they care. That's why the oaf prematurely spat out words of deflection, eager and ready to dismiss any fact pertaining to reality and not the delusion and !gnorance that perfectly suits the oaf.

[@yuborthedominator687]

@@jimtc1000 ❌Wrong. Being black is inherently political because we’ve been struggling in this country for liberation for decades

[@robertdore9592]

What dos that even mean?🤔

[@Bun-Bun-uWu]

The super eye patch wolf cameo took me off guard. What an intersection of creators I love 😂

[@Takashii85]

I was always skeptical bout getting into interracial relationships. As a black guy, i personally do not like the idea of being fetishised and that is the vibe i get when i interact with non black women, particularly white women. Its the look they give you like you're a piece of meat. Like they're almost hoping for you to fulfil most of the stereotypes they have in their head about you. Its sickening. I feel it would be better and easier to stick with a woman who will understand your plight, your culture, your experiences etc.

[@JD-ny3vz]

This is exactly how I feel as a black man as well.

[@mikeltsmith]

Same here 🖐🏿

[@JulianSteve]

I have the same feeling too. However, I get this vibe from mostly non-black Latinas. SMH🤦🏾‍♂️!

[@DG-gx8pn]

Same

[@stackstradingllc]

Tried getting with one once. Only once, just didn’t feel right.

[@aesclepion1606]

As a Black pastoral counselor, I have dealt with people of both races in my congregation who experienced stress from friends or family who did not accept the choice in a partner, people who would agree with Umar. I had a young white man who was really hurt was his family loved his fiancé, but when he met her family, they did not want to let him cross the threshold. Many of us, it has been my experience, hold this double standard where it is okay for a Black man to be with whomever he wants, but the Black woman is supposed to wait for the ideal Black man and ignore any prospective mate who is not of the “correct” race. We need to overcome any kind of sexist double standard if we hope to continue building the color-blind society which benefits social cohesion and is good for people of all colors.

[@HapillyMe]

I agree with you. I saw a great quote on Facebook "lf you live for peoples acceptance, you will die from their rejection " Sooo true. Never ever in my life, have l cared what people thought. I've always drummed to my own beat.

[@someguy974]

Hey Fiq, great video as always. One thing I’ll point out as a white and Asian man (Japanese mom) is that a similar discourse does happen among Asians, but not as much in the U.S. Because voluntary immigration (especially among Japanese, who are often more economically privileged than other Asian immigrants and immigrants in general) is often based on enterprise and individual ambition, and most other racial groups don’t have the social and theoretical history of solidarity that Black people do in this country, they don’t hear it as much from other immigrants. But back home people definitely chatter. I understand that you’re mostly talking about racial discourse in American popular media, and you may know this and have not put it in because it didn’t fit but I think it’s an interesting complication if you were unaware.

[@fnmiln8558]

I first had to say that I was pleasantly SHOOKETH hearing Super Eyepatch Wolf’s voice. A crossover that made me cackle. But yes, as a gay black man, I can confirm that these tribulations also seep into the gay community and my experiences with being some guys’ “preference” for fetishes but also told “to go pick cotton because no one would pick me” to date or be with in a relationship. People are wild out here, so I stay focused, stay centered, stay prayed up and hope to find the right person with good intentions.

[@sethzard]

I got fully jumpscared by The Final Gamer's first title read, but it's great having him in the video. Holy fuck I'm so sorry that people have said that to you. The gay community have a whole lot of fucked up ideas that are while not universally accepted, way too acceptable.

[@victorholmes7075]

Gotta invite Eyepatch Wolf back again for the “Irish were slaves too” discussion

[@achristiananarchist2509]

This one always gets me because I'm actually descended from one of these irish "slaves" (i.e. involuntary indentured servants from the Irish Rebellion) and we know about him because the guy who bought him tried to extend his indenture and he took him to court, won, and opened a shop fixing horse carts. That is all rather unslavelike if you ask me. It's only slavery in the sense that all prison labor is, but the dude was clearly not considered chattel in the eyes of the law and people who make those arguments always want to sweep that fact under the rug

[@annia3685]

Liam Hogan is an Irish historian who specialises in this topic and he's always debunking this nonsense

[@NunchuckPup]

​@@achristiananarchist2509 I appreciate you challenging this. As a Christian, I run into similar misunderstandings regarding the slavery described in the Bible, especially the New Testament. While all slavery is traumatic and evil, Chattel slavery was a profound, uniquely horrifying evil that needs to be understood differently.

[@achristiananarchist2509]

@@NunchuckPup Slavery in the Bible is one of those things I find really...I don't know if the word is interesting, but there is an interesting conflict there that pops up in a bunch of different places, where the authors seem more aware, or at least more upfront, about the problems with the standard ways of doing things at the time, while also being completely unable to perceive a way around them at the time. The rise of the Israelite monarchy in 1 Samuel is my favorite example. While the kingship myths of all their neighbors involved the gods themselves intervening and telling them this is the way humans should live, the bible story has the Israelites approaching God after a civil war and saying they want to appoint a king, and him basically responding "That's a stupid idea and you are going to hate every minute of it, but I'm not going to stop you from making your own dumbass decisions." Slavery kind of goes the same way. God reminds the Israelites that he broke their chains and they should remember that and support foreigners in their lands and not abuse and enslave them like the egyptians did to the Israelites, but real quick that turns into an "ok...but what if we just modify Hammurabi's slavery laws to be 10% less dickish". I've always thought this was interesting. Like, the Israelites understood the flaws of concentrated power in a way their neighbors didn't, but just couldn't imagine a non-monarchic government that could compete with them. They understood especially well the horrors and injustices of slavery, but couldn't conceive of a world without it. It just shows how the material conditions you come up in limit your perspective. Think about all the things today we all know are wrong, but just can't imagine a way to change at this point.

[@GrainneMhaol]

Maybe Niall from the Leftist Cooks might be more appropriate, considering they actually deal with politics and historical discourse. I don't know if Super Eyepatch Wolf is interested in being a stunt Irishman.

[@Purrpleb]

thank you for making this, the part about media portrayals of interacial relationships was very eloquently worded and pretty insightful to me as someone trying to write my own story rn