Feeling Frustrated and Discouraged

I wanted to include this video because I want to show the highs and the lows that I go through to offer inspiration and hope to others who struggle with mental health issues and/or substance abuse issues. There are times I feel like I am getting nowhere even though I am working so hard to move forward and do the next right thing. There are fears and doubts that are always there on the periphery wanting me to believe in them but I consciously choose to not because I am creating a new reality that is based in Truth & Love, not fear. I know in my whole being that if I stay sober and keep doing my best that Life will bless me and lead me to where I need to be. Sometimes I can't see 2 feet in front of me and it feels like I am walking in the dark all alone with no hope in sight but those are the moments that my trust in Life matters the most and gets deeply strengthened. It is easy to trust Life when everything appears perfect and you can see where you're going to land but it is hard to trust and jump into the unknown when you can't see shit. It actually isn't "hard" but it doesn't feel comfortable or safe and that makes the experience unpleasant and frightening so in that sense it is harder to feel that way and keep going instead of giving in to the fear and running backwards to your comfort zone.
Anyways, I post this to show my process through very uncertain times when I had no job, no place to live of my own, and no clue what I wanted to do next. This is the period after getting back from Alaska where I lived for 4 months off the grid with my partner who I separated from once we got back. I was dependent on him in some ways so leaving our bus home and going on my own without any financial or material security put me in a place where I was fully trusting on God's Grace to carry me. I know that no matter what, as long as I stay true to myself and live in integrity I will be blessed and provided for. Blessings are not conditional though, I don't believe I have to be a "good girl" for God to provide for me because I've always been provided for even at my worst. What I mean by that is that as long as I follow my truth I will be able to know, feel, and realize the blessings in my life. Blessings come especially when you see them and feel genuine gratitude for them and if you are not listening to your truth, you are living in fear and avoidance which creates suffering and chaos which block you from knowing the blessings. They are always here though, even in the chaos and torment, the blessings are here. I like to live in the blessings and stay conscious of them because if I feel blessed, I am blessed.
Reality follows your focus. Reality follows your feelings. Reality always gives you what you want consciously or unconsciously. If you are focusing on something, like what you don't like or want, the universe will give you more of what you are giving your precious and powerful consciousness to. Acknowledge what you don't like or want but then immediately shift your focus on to what you can do to change it and the power will go towards your focused actions. The antidote for getting out of something you don't want to experience is thinking of its opposite and then taking action towards achieving whatever that is. Say I am feeling lethargic and irritable but I don't want to be stuck in this energy. Instead of dwelling on what I am feeling and judging myself for it, I think of the opposite experience which would be something like energized and accepting/patient. I know that when I take time to meditate and go for a walk I shift into a different frequency that supports acceptance and energy. I choose to shift my focus towards those actions and once I make the decision to do them, I then set my intention to completely drop into them and be as present as possible in each unfolding moment so when thoughts arise that hold an irritable frequency I can notice them and let them pass, continuously shifting my focus from them on to the given activity. It is not easy; it is a practice that requires vigilance, willingness, and persistence but if you have those qualities , you will be successful. Never give up, keep showing up, do your best and let go of your attachment to any particular outcome. This is the recipe for a fulfilling and aligned life.