Feeling stuck, hopeless and lonely | Navigating life as an autistic adult

[@celinahuezo5518]

I am 37 and I have no idea what to do with my life. I got no job no friends, lonely. I self diagnosed for two years and finally got my diagnosis in march: autism, adhd, intellectual disability, language disorder, anxiety, eating disorder, substance abuse!!! My only interest is Wicca but I do a lot of healing specifically reiki and I hope to do something with that.

[@hestercastlemansa2976]

Hi Angelina. As a 'gifted' and 'highly intelligent' women with three different degrees I could not manage to pull of a career. Social and hierarchical difficulties made me a total misfit in work life. Furthermore my 'failure to launch' did not contribute. I get bored, drift off and find myself pursuing something different before having completed the task at hand. It is difficult to explain but life has been quite a struggle to me. I had an interesting life with a lot of diverse experiences and achievements but nothing seems to adds up to a whole. Even though I am 54 years old I feel like a child amongst all the adult and mature people around me but then on the other hand I'll be listening to conversations of these people who have made it career wise and think thar they are really dumb in so many ways! So yes, here I am, an alien in a foreign world trying to do and say the right things that do not make me happy, content or satisfied. If this makes any sense to you.

[@GordonBrevity]

You forgot to mention that you're a narcissist.

[@iferawhite7661]

​​@@GordonBrevityyou forgot to mention that you're an uneducated troll. Narcissistic personality disorder is a separate thing entirely from ego. You cant diagnose someone with a personality disorder based on a youtube comment.

[@aquarius1986]

I feel the same as you. I don't have all those degrees but pursued a lot of art training, could never make the most of it though, and I'm almost 38 without any career. I keep feeling like I don't know how to "do life" the way others seem to.

[@brianmeen2158]

@@aquarius1986same age range as you and in ways the strangeness and anxiety is worse now. Relationships are impossible and I find myself avoiding people more and more. I cannot picture living into old age with this disorder

[@aquarius1986]

@@brianmeen2158 I'm so sorry. I don't have an autism diagnosis officially (only ADHD) but I relate so much to what's said. I'm always wondering "what is WRONG with me"?? I just can't seem to function, and I wonder if I really am just 'lazy' or what. I'm so sensitive and exhausted all the time and everyone else seems to be a functioning adult with a job and social connections. I'm in the beginning of a dietary/supplement protocol based on the work of William Walsh. He helped a lot of people with ADHD, autism, depression etc. I'm sure it will help some of my issues at least but the social part is still a big ???????. I just don't get why I can't seem to make friends...it's much harder as an adult...people look at me like I'm crazy if I try to get their number or make contact with them. I don't know how to adult. The container of childhood worked better for my nature. I still have hope though.

[@yuginoty65]

Hi! You’re just like me! However, FAR younger. From me to you, you are doing things right! I’m 65 years old and I’ve had a very difficult life due to trying so very hard to not be myself. To be someone very opposite of myself. To be what I thought everyone else wanted me to be. I was afraid of myself which become severe self hatred. Feeling very alone. Scared with screwing up. So ashamed. I also have been very feminine, I’m biologically male, yet anyone even slightly like me, were all women and girls. I seem to be very smart, yet I few as a loser and a moron. Finally, four years ago, I found the best therapist and she helped me explore whether I was Transgender or not. Yet that is what I am. I used to be sooooooo ashamed of the girl/woman within me. Yet a wonderful thing happened recently, I met her. She is wonderful. She is helping me to see the good in me. To not be so afraid of myself and everything. I am becoming her. I’ve hated myself for ever, yet I love her. My masking had brought me to be many things: airline pilot; aircraft mechanic; firefighter; sailor/voyager; and many other things. Yet trying to be these other people, just came crashing down, as you describe very well, about every 3-5 years. I would know when this crash was going to happen, yet I could do nothing about it. Finally, when I lost my airline career, I crashed badly. At around 55, my health took a big hit, I fell into deep suicidal depression. I seemed to fail at everything. I was dx’ed with ASD, and many other things. With Aria’s help, my help, I’ve been able to climb out of the abyss. Not easy. Things are slowly becoming better. Even as I age. I could tell you so much. Listen to your wise self. She’s right! Luckily, I have a wonderful wife and 15 year old son. Numerous animal friends. You come across as another “beautiful” person. As Aria is. That’s me! Peace and love…Aria ☮️🏳️‍⚧️💜🦄

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Hi Aria!☺️Thank you so much for sharing your story! I’m sorry to hear that you’ve struggled so much in your life. I’m glad that things are looking better for you. Sending you love and all the best on your journey❤️

[@yuginoty65]

Thank you for your kind message. ☮️🏳️‍⚧️💜🦄

[@MichaelTurner856]

That's a beautiful story I'm glad you were able to find yourself. Good to hear your happier and not dysphoric. I love the name Aria to btw it's very pretty and soulful

[@Patricia44998]

I'm so happy you made this video. I have autism too and there is a real underpresentation of people with autism on youtube, or the wrong representation. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Thank you for being here Patricia!❤️

[@veev2561]

It's so shocking the medical community is finding out there is a much larger population with autism on the spectrum,a large majority are gen were born after 911,when so many were going thru trama after the terrorist attacks,as what trama happens to the new mother affects the child. This explains a lot. With autism,in past there were clear signs of autism.butvnow,many who are remote workers are autistic,resisting going back to the office socializing with others.i can only imagine how difficult having autism must be.lifecis hard enough.everyone needsxsupport.

[@ilanaAmsterdam]

General advice is not to quit a job. You can call in sick, for instance. You can get fired by not performing at your job. Those options will make you eligible for unemployment or other benefits. It depends on the country you're in, what is available to you. However, quitting means that you are taking your own responsibility for your financial gap. That means you can't use whatever social security options are in place. When you feel your must quit because you can't do it anymore, that's when you need social security: you are ill or the company would fire you. Let that happen rather than quit. This is what the social system is for, to catch people who, for whatever reasons, can't work right now.

[@taghiabiri3489]

Hello dear, I am 53 now and soon I will have an appointment to get diagnosed as an autistic. Most probably it will be positive. The title of your video, feeling stuck, hopeless and lonely is the title for my life so far. But don‘t worry, it is worth going on anyway, just take your time! Greetings and best wishes for you!

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Thank you Taghi, you’re so kind! All the best to you as well and good luck with your appointment❤️

[@LittleCloudieWorld]

Thank you for sharing your experience with us, I’m so glad it appeared on my feed. My name is Beth, I’m 32 and I’m currently at the nail-biting stage of awaiting the results of my autistic assessment. I have been unofficially told by the diagnostician that ‘ooh, what’s this? sensory and social difficulties and a life of masking? Yup, sounds pretty autistic…’. I think we may be in the same limbo, where we’re pretty sure we’re neurodivergent, but just waiting for that green light so that we can actually begin our lives. My lifelong masking and generally forcing myself to do what the people around me did has meant that I completely neglected my needs and boundaries up until the point where my mental health completely deteriorated. Recently, though, I’ve picked up a few bits and piece that have really helped me in this brave new world of neurodiversity. I thought I would share them with you just in case they help at all! Firstly, reframing the whole ‘disability’ thing. Autism is not a disability, but a condition which is unfortunately forced to operate in a disabling environment (in other words, you’re an individual with skills and have nothing to be ashamed about, the only thing that should be ashamed is the surrounding society that neglects to accommodate you… in my case, I was told repeatedly that I was ‘fine’ and explicitly told by my healthcare system that I was not autistic, twice…) Secondly, you now are part of a huge (and burgeoning internet-based) community which is full of love and falling over itself to support one another (perhaps you’ve seen the abundance of actuallyautistic videos on TikTok? They are simply wonderful, and do so much to make people even thousands of miles away feel seen and heard). And lastly, but probably most importantly, now is the time to absolutely, unashamedly free the part of you that you’ve been covering up for years. As soon as I realised that, actually, I was wired a particular way and that my body was equipped in ways to regulate myself and respond to specific forms of expression, I felt like I could finally be my true self. I stimmed whenever and wherever I wanted, I listened to music for hours and cried along with it (because I feel this engagement is my best way of understanding the world), I flapped my hands wildly in conversation to keep myself focused etc. and I set the proper boundaries to avoid burnout. The result was that, at long last, I felt happy in myself, for the first time ever, because I was allowing my body and mind to pursue exactly what it was born to pursue. Whoa, bit of an essay there! (And apologies if I came across as bossy, I was a tutor and nanny for years so taking an educational tone is quite natural for me, but I can appreciate how some people may find it patronising!) Best of luck with everything and do keep sharing these videos of your journey! As a KZbin video maker, I can imagine how difficult it must be for you to see just how much impact your videos are having on the people who watch them, but believe me when I say they have a massive impact. Autistic people (officially diagnosed and otherwise) need these videos of validation, so that they are able to get by in a world that overwhelming ignores or belittles them.

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Hi Beth! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment! It’s so kind and thoughtful. What you said about the community is so true. It is for sure very beautiful and supportive and I love being a part of it. Also, you didn’t come across as bossy at all! I really appreciate your insight and advice. And what you said about my videos is the best compliment! Other autistic creators have really helped me feel seen and understood so it makes me very happy if I can do the same for others. It’s been a while since you wrote this comment so I hope that you already got the results and that you’re happy with them. Best of luck to you as well!❤️

[@miah2400]

I'm 23 and also a woman with autism and this is all extremely relatable. I was diagnosed as a child and throughout my childhood and teenage years everything went smoothly but as an adult, a lot of expectations seemed to pile up on me all at once for adulthood and I got so overwhelmed. I thought about trying to be normal and like everyone else for a short while but that just made everything worse. The best thing I've found is embracing my autism fully and all the parts of myself people might find "weird." It's so much more freeing and made me happier in the long run. I'm considering talking to someone about my autism too. I've got myself figured out for them most part but I'm having difficulty finding out what I want to do for a job, even though I've got a good job right now I'm not that passionate about it and feel like I could do something more fulfilling. I'm just going easy on myself right now and doing what feels right. I recognize that I'm different and I'm not going to let society pressure me into being someone I'm not or doing something I'm not ready for yet.

[@Flanclanman]

I'm 32 and just figuring out I'm autistic. I hear a lot of my own difficulties in what you spoke about. I hope things get better for us soon and we get the support we need

[@maxpower3726]

I'm Asperger's and I feel the same way. A stranger in a strange land. I don't understand the "normals" either.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

What part do you not get?

[@redpalex]

Same.

[@LifeofBrad1]

Same

[@lachousalle31]

I often wonder if I'm on the spectrum because I've had social anxiety most of my life and it just gets worse as I get older. I notice I have trouble making eye contact because it's so awkward. I have very narrow interests. For example, with music I've mostly listened to one artist for the last 18 years. I'm 36 now and I've been obsessed with his music since I was 18. I pretty much have been playing the exact same video game for the last 3 years and can't really enjoy anything else. I also have A.D.D. I had a psychological test done a few years ago and they gave me no answers. The testing was only for a few hours. I don't understand how they could determine whether or not I have autism in that short amount of time. Also, I can't stand working. I work at a group home but only on the weekends. I tried working a couple extra days a week but I had to ask my manager if I could go back to just weekends, because it was making me so depressed and irritable. I often just wanna be by myself and listen to music and not talk to people cosntantly and be forced into unfortable social situations because of capitalism and the threat of becoming homeless. It really sucks. Anyways, if you read this, thanks for listening.

[@novaroseoooooo]

I've recently self-diagnosed as autism (I've been diagnosed with ADHD for over a decade, and I think that diagnosis kind of obscured that I also have autism), and I relate so much to this. I'm really lucky right now because I work from home and have a job that's been extremely lenient with me, but I feel like it's only a matter of time before they let me go if I can't figure out how to get past my executive dysfunction and other problems that make it hard for me to get work done. Ideally, I'd like to be in a career that I was more passionate about and in control of, but those types of job also tend to come with less financial stability, so I'm not sure if they would actually be better for me in practice. I really want to highlight how you said you WANT to work, because I feel like so many of us get treated like we're a drain on society's resources when really we just struggle to fit into a workforce that was built by and for neurotypicals. There are so many amazing things autistic people could do if we were more valued for our strengths instead of being asked to hide our weaknesses. I hope the future is more friendly to autistic people who want to work but struggle under current systems. Good luck on your journey! You're not alone 💖

[@Petertwohig1948]

Thanks, Angelina. I appreciate what you shared very much. I am 75 ad self identified as autistic many years ago. I have an autistic son, and grandson. I was a naturopath and homoeopath, and treated many autistics. Also, I spent 2 years working in a clinic for autistics where I administer diagnostic questionnnaires, so for me when the penny dropped, there was no need for confirmation. However, I was born at a time when being different was practically a death sentence, and most of us ended up in institutions, and were subjected to such horrors as electroshock thereapy. I admire you for your decisions, and I am shortly going to start a channel for the same reason Good luck. You were aptly named..

[@LifeofBrad1]

I'm almost 30 and I have Asperger's (or autism spectrum disorder as my diagnosis letter calls it). I've been to college, had jobs, lived in flatshares, but I've been living back at my dad's place for almost 6 years now due to some unforeseen circumstances and I haven't been in mainstream employment since 2017. I'm pretty much done with society. I'm sick of living in a world designed by and for neurotypicals. Things have gotten worse since the pandemic ended too. The neurotypicals have doubled down on their sh!tty behaviour, they're more judgmental and I'm having a harder time understanding why they do the things they do than I ever have in my life. Truth be told, neurotypicals are highly irrational people. Most of the time, they don't even think about what they're doing and act purely on impulse, so trying to rationalise their behaviour is a fruitless endenvour. Even knowing this, I still try to think of rational reasons as to why they behave the way they do, which just leads to huge amounts of frustration. This is why I don't go out much. If I don't interact with them, I don't spend time thinking about this stuff and getting frustrated in the process.

[@leetrevor59]

I was formally diagnosed last March with ASD and I didn't know that I had it until I took it upon myself to discover more about myself. Getting a formal diagnosis was a life changing moment in my life, but I'm always chatting with therapists on a weekly basis. Finding your niche in this world takes time and job developers are beneficial for people with disabilities, but it won't happen overnight and it's a lengthy process.

[@elizabethmartineau-marshal341]

I'm 61 & only found out that I'm autistic when I was 60. I was called odd all my life & I got fired from a job once because the boss said that I do the same thing everyday - it was nothing to do with my job performance, she just watched what I did when I entered in the morning & what I did when I went on my lunch break.

[@alexlaessle1]

Thank you for your video. My adult daughter is moving back home. She is self-diagnosed also. She recently found a good therapist who works with neurodivergent clients. And so far she feels like she may be able to finally move forward and accomplish things with the help of her therapist. I have great admiration for the fair mindedness and high intelligence of many Aspergers women and men. Thank you for starting your channel. You and another autistic female KZbinr, Stephanie Bethany, I watch help me understand my daughter so much better. Autistic women who share their particular life experiences make important contributions to people like me who are seeking to understand and help our autistic adult children. Thanks again.

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Thank you so much, it means a lot! I’m glad to hear that your daughter has a good therapist and that things are looking better for her. Thank you for your willingness to learn and understand autistic people better. Your daughter is very lucky to have a supportive parent like you. Wishing you both all the best on your journey❤️

[@Emileigggggh]

I got laid off recently and I have such similar feelings regarding jobs, careers, wanting independence and wanting to do stuff/meet milestone expectations etc. I ALSO looked into freelance but never followed through... I was actually in the process of getting diagnosed when I got laid off so I can relate to a lot of what you're saying!

[@MOLLYversion7.0]

🩷 Thank you beautiful 🩷 Im 31 and have just realised Im autistic. Im having intense problems communicating with everyone. I feel suck too. I had a nervous breakdown a year ago and am relying on mum... I think I might have to buy ticket to a tropical island (dependant on work visa) + job... Or start a course. Its very depressing here though. And im realising how my gut problems are so closely linked to my emotional/communication issues. You are gorgeous and brave. Thank you for doing this for those of us who have issues talking to friends and family that we miss and need 🥹😨😞 Good luck with your appointment. Wish me luck communicating in general 😅

[@anjachan]

i finally work at a "safe" place, just for mentally and physically disabled people. we don't get a lot of money but we have something to do with less pressure.

[@TheMusicalElitist]

Please don't mask! You don't need to! You're amazing just the way YOU are!

[@alrighttumbleweed4782]

This is so relatable. I feel for you and I hope things are better a couple months on from this. I also got excited for freelance work but I can't actually follow through with anything. I currently have an "easy" small job - it's only a couple of hours. But today I can't even do that. I don't think anybody who sees this will think you're weird. It's really nice that you shared this experience and make me feel less alone

[@atanamorell2]

I'm 54 and have recently self-diagnosed. You're not alone! Take care of yourself 💕 Edit: random thought - Google is offering free courses to get certified in things like user design & other careers that are computer based and easy to do from home. They say they'll help you find work when you are done, too.

[@kathyolcott2097]

I have been in this situation since 2017. I lost all my services and health care (America sucks). I can only work a few hours a week. I'm stuck at my parents and trying to get government assistance. I feel really bad.

[@gracianaoviedo9467]

i just found this video, i guess because the title describes my whole life.. this year i entered college and its been really hard, i get tired so easily and although i talk to a group of classmates, we didnt become "friends". We just talk about college, exams and study. Its actually awful, i thought i could make friends with similar mindsets and interests, but this year im feeling the lonelinest ever so far.. i just have no one to talk to, i mean, i have a friend since we were on highschool but we live in different cities, and she already have new friends. i think im in burnout and have two important exams next week which i did not study a bit, and feel guilty about it. i lost a family member less than a month ago, i failed an exam, my anxiety doesnt let me sleep plus a lot more things.. i feel a lil depressed.. but i found your video, which i could relate to the most part of it, so it made me feel better. i feel like we autists feel alone individually, but when we find someone of the community (at least on social media), we realize we are not really alone. thank you for sharing your experiences, hope your life is going well, take care.

[@OpinionatedEmpath]

I’m also a self diagnosed autistic, but I get scared to say it out loud because I’m not sure if i really am or not. I can relate to everything you said. I also quit my job before the training period was over 🤦🏻‍♀ I feel so guilty about it as you mentioned. I was always considered “bright,” blah blah blah. At the end of it all, I feel useless.

[@katyalambo]

Thanks for making this video. I am 32 and recently self-diagnosed as autistic. Your experiences sound very similar to mine. I have been struggling with the work thing a lot. I never knew what it was that I wanted to do as a career and after finishing graduate school was lucky to get a job immediately after graduating. That job was terrible for me. I remember feeling my body try to drag me home every morning on my commute. I left after two years for what I thought was my dream job, but it has slowly turned into a nightmare. I currently live with my partner and the financial aspect of quitting a job that has been draining me for the past 3 and half years is super scary to me. That said, I know that if I don’t leave… well actually I’m not sure, but I know it won’t be good. I feel similarly when it comes to getting a professional diagnosis. While I know it won’t really change anything, I don’t think that I will be able to move forward without it. Currently I spend all my time learning more about ASD and watching videos from other KZbinrs like yourself. Content like yours has been so validating and helps me feel less alone. Thanks again for your bravery and for helping the rest of us feel less alone ❤

[@Receipt]

You can't self diagnose.

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Thank you Katy for your kind words and for sharing your story. Our experiences are indeed very similar! I hope you find a solution to your situation soon. I’m so glad to hear that my videos have been helpful. Likewise, comments like yours help me see that I’m not alone. Good luck and all the best on your journey❤️

[@ChemiConscious1]

@@Receipt can’t? Looks like she has, so there goes that theory

[@redbirddeerjazz]

@@Receipt you can’t give yourself a formal diagnosis, obviously. But in this case self-diagnosis is a synonym for self-identification. Self-identified autistics are overwhelmingly welcomed in the autistic community, partly because of the many social and financial barriers to getting a formal diagnosis. It is cruel to exclude people because they lack a piece of paper from a doctor. Even if some of them are wrong about their self-diagnosis (which is actually quite rare according to autism specialists), they are taking nothing away from formally diagnosed autistics. If you’re gay, you don’t need a doctor to tell you you’re gay. You just know you’re gay. Similarly autistic people generally know we are autistic, whether we have an official diagnosis or not.

[@cosinev1265]

I’m self diagnosed as well and I recently had a crisis about what I want to do as a career. I decided to become a math teacher going into college, but I had absolutely no hope for the future and at a certain point I knew that I would quit after a short amount of time. About a month ago, I finally accepted that I didn’t want to be a teacher, but I was a junior in college by that point and switching paths wasn’t the most feasible. After a week of constant anxiety, I realized that coding was one of the only things I wouldn’t hate doing. So i’m doing that now. Two years ago, I would’ve been disappointed, but I know a lot more about the world than I did then. The workplace sucks so much for autistic people. I wish we didn’t live under a system that makes us sell ourselves in order to survive. Lots of love and well wishes.

[@miahammonds525]

Thank you for making this video. For as long as I can remember, I have always felt like an outcast to where I couldn't relate to a lot of my peers. At first, I thought that it was social anxiety, me being shy and my introversion but it was more on a deeper level. At age 13, I found out I was autistic but it didn't take until almost a year ago for me to start fully accepting my autism. Today I'm 17 years old about to turn 18 in the next couple of months and the thing I'm working on is learning how to relive my life through an autistic perspective as well as learning how to unmask. Masking has caused me to suffer through burnout, stress, anxiety, as well as lonliness and issues within my mental health. It's still a struggle at times but now that I have a better understanding of myself, it's made me a lot happier and it's turned me into a better person.

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

Recently self diagnosed. ADHD/ASD. Phobia of Therapists. Besides, I cannot afford one anyway.

[@joriskemper5392]

Hey Angelina and everyone that is feeling stuck in a similar way, First of all, it is very normal for you to feel like you do in this situation. You, as well as the rest have certain expectations about life, society as a whole and your place in it, only to feel like a failure and start pressuring yourself when things don't evolve in a typical way. You want to feel useful, to belong somewhere and feel proud of yourselves and accepted. But here's the thing: as hard a place as society is for people on the spectrum, there's none that critical but yourself, and you really shouldn't because you'll only end up hurting yourselves chasing other people's - often unattainable - goals. Give yourself the space and time to figure things out. Don't feel like you have to work yourself into the oblivion of a full blown burnout - just so you can look yourselves in the mirror or because of societal pressures and stigma, or any loved ones expectations. As hard as it is to ignore this feeling, don't give in to it. It is important to give yourself the breathing space to analyze which goals are reachable and in what way, and which goals are not. For some of you it will be possible to be a tax producing member of society for others it is not. And that's OKAY, no matter the denigrating stigma surrounding it. If you aren't capable of maintaining a job, at least don't let clinical depression and burnout swallow your whole life. You only live once, don't squander it, let it serve your own happiness instead of chasing an arbitrary goal - a goal by the way that is way more futile than what society is ready to admit and which has been given way to much importance under the guise of validism. If you have enough financial support or a substantial amount of benefits you can enjoy a meaningful hobby or - if you feel like it - can engage in short term projects that are not overwhelmingly big and still feel like you're contributing somehow. You can engage in voluntary work or be self employed, but don't overextend yourself when it is clearly not working out. The main point is, your happiness doesn't need to depend on whether you feel like a burden or not. Do what makes you happy and if you still feel you must contribute somehow, do it at your own pace with respect to your own capabilities and qualities. And although it's a very natural and understandable reaction, drowning yourselves and feeling paralyzed doesn't serve anyone. Being happy with who you are is. Especially to those near you. I'm sure your family worries more about your happiness than of the expectations they once had. Expectations they undoubtedly set aside once they know why it's for the best. If they truely love you they won't impose such a burden onto their spouse. If they do: f*ck them. Some of you will overcome these barriers, others will not. When not, it isn't easy accepting those barriers. Still, you don't have to give a sintilla of what others think about that, and stop thinking it will do any good to crush yourself against those walls out of desperation. Be your own. Set healthy and realistic objectives for your life and stop burdening yourself with the crippling amount of worry and anxiety of what others think what gives meaning to your life. It is your life, not theirs, and it is your happiness that matters above all. And lastly, it is not a shameful thing to ask for professional help when you struggle with depression, burnout or any other ailments while 'navigating the spectrum'.

[@lauraluey]

I really relate to so much of what you said. I was verbally told by a psychologist that I'm on the spectrum, however have never been officially diagnosed, with it in writing. For a while I felt that that was enough, that I didn't need it in writing. That was when I was around 25, and I've been struggling with many things for a very long time, depression, generalised and social anxiety, burnout from different jobs, and many other things that don't come to mind right now...(but once I send this comment through, I'm sure they'll arise) 🙃 I'm now 29, and am in a space where I feel that I need the diagnosis in writing, so that I can not only have access to certain supports, but to validate my experience of life, to let go of a deep sense of guilt and shame, knowing that I am not failing, I'm just autistic. And with that, I need certain adjustments in order to live a life that fits me well enough to not be completely overwhelmed, and so that I can contribute to society in a way that supports me and others I think it's awesome that you are sharing your story, even when there is fear of what others may think. It's a courageous and brave quest that you are on, and I'm really glad that I found your channel ❤️ We each have gifts to offer the world, and when we are supported to nurture, grow and share our gift in a way that fits us, we will flourish, and we all deserve to flourish ✨️

[@peekaboo7424]

I’m 61 & self diagnosed. I have just made the first step towards an assessment. There are so many hurdles in the US to an official diagnosis. First of all I have to find someone who has experience diagnosing (female) adults. Second hurdle is getting it paid for. Third hurdle is finding transportation to the many assessment appointments. So I completely agree with you that self diagnosis is valid. I’ve been searching for an autistic community because I would love to be able to spend time with others who have autism. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? Oh I’d like an online autism community.

[@Arnaud_B.]

I really can relate to a lot of what you are going through. I always had the feeling of being different from others, especially in social situation. The only way I manage to “connect” with people, outside of my family, is to speak about subjects that I am interested in or by reproducing quotes from movies and sketches, etc. Whenever I have to talk about me, my wishes, my goals in life or what I want to do, I just try to shorten the conversation as fast as I can because it overwhelms me to much and it bring back dark thoughts in my head. Concerning graduation and finding a job, I feel stuck for more than one year now. Going through the process of looking for a job and going to job interviews makes me feel like I am roaming into a space void without any protection at the mercy of radiations that overwhelm me very fast. I had training sessions during my studies in libraries that went well, but this was during the pandemic. There was therefore many less people and activity than usual. I do also have the chance to live with my mother, but I start to feel like a burden. And the fact that my father told me that I am just lazy and don’t want to grow up and become independent doesn’t help. I went to my GP because I could not go to a job interview because of anxiety, sadness. When I spoke about autistic burnout, he told me that he was against the fact of hiding oneself behind an autistic label just not to work and that at 26, it is time to go forward. This makes me feel anxious about talking about autism to doctors outside of educated specialists on the subject. My biggest fear about adults’ job are the expectations and the fact that I get tired very fast. I also am quite slow at work, and I can’t really think about many things at the same time. Social interactions are also very tiring because when you are 26, people expect you to be an active person outside your job, and I am very quickly lost during lunch conversations and I just want to be alone, which is not very well seen, I think. The problem that I also have with jobs is that I dont like the society we are living in right now when I know that our job contributes to make some people richer and richer and these people don't really care about us. I am also going to start a process of official diagnosis, but I also fear that it won’t be a magical solution because, autism is not well understood in Belgium. I don’t even want to think about announcing a potential autistic spectrum disorder to an employer because it just put more expectation on you and criticisms from colleges that might not take it seriously. I also relate to your lack of motivation and feeling of hopelessness. I know that I can understand complex things. I am passionate about music and astrology, and I can understand the basics of computer science and learn how to use softwares. The problem is that I don’t know how to use these skills into a job. I also have a big issue with hierarchy. When my colleges or superiors are women, I am seeking a maternal protection from them because I feel vulnerable in professionals’ activities. It is sort of like I have a safety bubble and I try to put people into it to feel safer. At the moment, I feel like I will never be able to reach the expectations that allow someone to have a decent life. These expectations are actually finding a full-time job and keep it as long as possible because everything tends to be more expensive these days. I am still asking myself at 26 how am I going to be independent, where am I going to live if I don’t have my mother, am I going to live on the streets ? Thanks for reading this long comment ! Hope it can make some people feel less alone (even though I don't feel legitimate about what I feel, I still think that I am just lazy)

[@alexadellastella5247]

you can be proud of yourself! creating a youtube channel is huge actually and you are helping people. A year seems very long since you are young but actually it is not and I'm sure you will find what is right for you! Be gentle and patient with yourself, you already have been through a lot, all these years not knowing you were autistic, it can take time to integrate and find yourself again plus what you want/can do in this society. All the best!

[@juanvalenzuela1418]

You're a treasure :) I get to fathom your struggle ( I go through the same path at times)

[@sheaballard3022]

I still don’t have an official diagnosis yet, but my new therapist is looking into getting me one. I can relate to a lot of what you’re going through. Sending digital hugs.

[@Logarithm906]

This brings up bad memories and very recent hurts. I took a long time to find a job after uni. Looked into teaching, even worked in a school for couple years (it was horrible i had to leave too). Ended up finding a job in a place that outwardly "wants" ND people for their problem solving skills and I'm good at this job, i've done it near nearly a decade now, customers use my work as an example of what they want more of. I've trained multiple people in how to do the job. After several attempts at going for promotion, being in the same grade that I entered in all them year ago. I've got no where. No career progress not formally at least. All of the people i've trained, they're my literal superiors, some are very good at the job but mostly they just make the right noises in promotion interviews and I don't, even when I've spent days scripting my answers to the questions, to match what they want. I've been in a rut for about three years. This is a place that outwardly celebrates how inclusive it is (hell it's famous for someone who was very very on the spectrum) and with how well it treats ND people, in order to attract their unusual problem solving skills. I know i need to find another job and try somewhere else but change is scary and the pay's not awful (though it's always getting worse now i have no career progress), it's just a total lack of satisfaction or sense of any chance of progress. I need to find a new job. I'm stagnating and unhappy because of how they treat me and watching everyone else progress while I just "spin my wheels".

[@rishikakrishna]

Angelina, I am so glad you made this video! You are so eloquent, patient, and kind-you remind me of my friends 💗 I completely resonate with feeling stuck & struggling to find the right kind of work...so much of my life has been unlearning what is expected of me and getting in touch with who I came into this world as. I left corporate america, was unemployed for 7 months, and last fall I began working in public service-I love it. Maybe during this time, you could also consider part-time/freelance work in fields you want to sample before pursuing a full-on "career" kind of job, that's what I'm doing right now and now I WANT this part-time job to shape the rest of my career and life. I am so excited for all the discoveries and life awaiting you, you are wonderful ✨

[@bobsaffron8284]

This testimonial is very useful for neuro-typical individuals interested in helping, too. Thanks for the video.

[@cherylyoke4872]

Thank you for posting. I was self diagnosed for a while and during that time I found a support group through AANE. There are many opportunities there to interact with other neurodivergent people, and I participate through a zoom meeting once a month. I have recently received a diagnosis and the the day that happened, I was very relieved and felt validated. I have shared the information with some of my supervisors, and there have been some accommodations for which I’m very grateful. It has been a journey, really, of understanding myself and accepting that my strengths can be used to connect effectively with others as long as I get enough rest and quiet time. Currently I work half a day five days a week, and I’m very happy with that. I feel productive.

[@lindabarrios180]

Thank you for sharing, you are not the only one

[@gigahorse1475]

All As student, 3.8 GPA, bachelor’s in Neuroscience… my first full time job destroyed me. Now I’m stuck grieving the life I thought I had. I always wanted to be a scientist, but now I know that’s not feasible. So many of my autistic friends are in the same situation. It’s so hard to find a job that pays enough and matches our skills. I think I’m going to have to do manual labor, which is fine, but definitely not what I expected.

[@DiegoMartinez-ur7gi]

I understand the pain, having Aspergers and just trying to figure things out I feel is harder rather than someone without being on spectrum

[@racheledmondson4003]

Thanks for sharing :) When we're so good at masking it's easy to think we should be able to 'just deal with it', especially if we're smart and excel in other areas of our lives. By getting a diagnosis you're investing in yourself. You will have the right map to navigate internally and with others. You also deserve to be in a work environment where you can flourish. Leaving your job sounds like a step in the right direction and an act of self-care, but don't give up entirely on traditional work environments. I don't know which country you're in but with a diagnosis a good employer will hear you out and make reasonable adjustments in the workplace. They would be lucky to have you.

[@sheffieldandbeyond8644]

Thank you so much for this video.

[@brianfoster4434]

Thank you

[@timmyturner7494]

I'm with you, sweetie. Good luck on your journey.

[@Teddy-hp9zy]

I'm in a really really similar situation. Trying to figure out a job I can sustainably do is ridiculously hard but I'm so so SO glad I'm not the only one. We're gonna get through this

[@dreamy_vale]

I relate so much to what you're saying and how you explain things. I'm in the same shoes for the last 4 years and I wish I've discovered the information earlier. I just want to fit in in a healthy sense, but every year I get further and further away, and having financially supportive family was not actually helping in my case. Anyway,, thank you for sharing!

[@JayJay-xj5gn]

Hi Angeline, I am like you self-diagnosed, but much older, 65 so I've got most of my autistic life and decisions behind me. I only realised I was autistic very recently so it's been revelatory for me too, and helped me understand all the problems I've faced throughout my life. My advice would be you're doing the right thing going for a proper diagnosis. I wish I'd known years ago I was autistic it would have helped me make better decisions. I have had a difficult life; lots of jobs I have really struggled with and which eventually made me physically ill, so I had to give up work and my health is bad now. Also I would say try not to worry too much about the future. It's important to make good decisions that are right for you, and do things that make you feel good, and even if it takes time to find what you're looking for, it's time well spent. I wish you well and thank you for the video, because videos like yours make us all feel less alone. So putting yourself and this out there is a good positive thing that you've done which is helpful to other people like me. Best of luck with your journey and if you feel able to make another video I'm sure it will be interesting and thank you for sharing. x

[@patrickjchesebrough]

Thank you, you are so brave. I appreciate how real (and raw) you are in your telling of your story.

[@patrickjchesebrough]

Also... What is your ETSY site called?!?!? I would love to check it out!

[@comicbookguygamecat]

Great video I am 22 I think I am undiagnosed and single but I feel alone a lot.

[@NOCTRNLPRODUCTIONS]

Just so you know, I relate a lot to what you are saying. Will be subscribing on all my accounts and hope this message is spread to NT's especially, there's no autism awareness in schools and we wonder why bullying is such a bad problem

[@VonniC-bv2ow]

Hi and thank you so much for sharing. I am in my 50s and recently self discovered I am autistic. I can relate to being stuck. I feel like I am in a holding pattern until I can find a professional to do a formal diagnosis. I am in Australia. So many professionals are not up to date with the presentation of autism in girls and women. Sometimes I wonder how my life might have been different if we knew in the 1980s what we know now. I wish you well 😊

[@sasham504]

Hi Angelina ~ thank you for making this video 💜 I am also recently self-diagnosed (still coming to terms with it in many ways) and to stumble across your video after spending the last few days feeling especially stuck, hopeless & emotionally isolated has been a great comfort for me... Everything that you say resonates deeply & please know that you are not alone in your struggles. Good luck with your diagnostic journey & thanks once again for sharing your story/adding your voice to this community + much need conversation! 🙏🏼

[@Ladybirdtaj]

Thanks for sharing ❤️ don't give up hope! You got this....keep on going, keep on growing 😊 all we can do is try our best 👌🏽 👍🏼

[@greatwhiteunicorn]

very inspiring content thank you, i'm still wrestling with the realization.

[@jliller]

I'm a self-diagnosed (for about a year) high-functioning autism + Inattentive ADHD. I made a page-long list of my symptoms that I think fit ASD and/or ADHD so I could be prepared when getting an evaluation. Getting that evaluation has been been a slow process. I tried to get a referral, which was useless. I tried to contact a few places, but their contact information didn't work or they didn't respond to my message or they didn't accept insurance. I also got sick a few times then really busy at work for a few months. I'm fortunate to have a great job which I stumbled into a decade ago. I'm going to try against with some other places soon. I want to get a professional evaluation for three reasons: 1. To double-check my work. A professional might have an alternate diagnosis that I haven't considered. 2. They may be able to provide therapy or other tools to better manage symptoms that I don't get from watching YT channels. 3. I give lectures as part of my job, and I want to give a lecture about what I've experienced in my life to raise awareness of people like me (and you) that fly under the radar. However, I feel the responsible thing for me to do is get the diagnosis first, especially because 99% of people are very skeptical when I explain my self-diagnosis. (That's NOT a knock against you for making these videos without a formal diagnosis; it's something particular to my professional situation.)

[@m0thdm]

Sending you so much love. I hope you begin to feel good about this journey. I am rooting for you so much.

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! Sending love right back to you❤️

[@sori6196]

I feel so seen by this video, the things you are saying are the same things i try to communicate to the people in my life. Have also been stuck with career change/ not knowing what to do and becoming more unmotivated and hopeless over time… good luck to all of us on this journey

[@sunnylight5753]

Do what is BEST for You. (I wasn’t self dx) Our Planet Can be Harsh. I’m happy to know your parents are a positive factor in your life💗 If you don’t need medication, there are other alternatives. Be Safe. You Got This! 🫶🏼

[@gabrielraphael8084]

I feel like I am at a similar place as you are, but at 40. I have been struggling for decades now, trying to figure out what professional direction to go in. However, I only recently realized that I am probably autistic and will also be looking into getting a diagnosis. I do think it can be important, if only to start to understand myself better and also to not blame myself for difficulties that are really not my fault.

[@carolinehunter5243]

Thank you for sharing your story

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Thank you for watching☺️

[@steveneardley7541]

Getting formally diagnosed is sort of empty. You already know anyway. But having a counselor can be super-helpful emotionally. A lot of problems that come with autism are psychological. I had a shrink who never knew I was autistic, and didn't even suggest it, but he still helped me a huge amount.

[@LugalAhtan]

I feel similarly. Although for me it’s been like 10-12 years. For the most part I just want to leave this life. I don’t feel that I can do anything about anything. Everyone around me is progressing, changing, and moving forward but I’m still the same. So I’m hoping to leave within a couple years. I refuse to be here for my 40th. I’m 31 at the moment. Although no one has specifically said it I deeply feel like a disappointment and a cosmic mistake. I just want to escape the continual pain.

[@Civileyez]

Welcome to the community, Ma'am. - 🎩

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Thank you so much🥰

[@Civileyez]

@@navigatingthespectrum You're very welcome.

[@fredchristian9924]

I've been thinking I'm autistic for a couple years now. I'm 41, I live at mom's house. I've used alcohol and drugs to get through life. Now I'm sober and realizing that I just might have been autistic all this time. I've always known there was something very wrong, but my family has always been in denial about it. I wasn't allowed to have any problem that might excuse my shortcomings because nobody wants me to get a pass for all the trouble I've"caused". I am nothing but a burden and I haven't wanted to live for a long time. I just haven't wanted to hurt my mother with suicide because I'm an only child and her mother committed suicide when mom was pregnant with me. What kind of doctor do I need to go to?

[@samsei]

Hey Fred, I'm not sure I can give you the answers you are looking for, but my guess would be to seek out a mental health professional, like a psychiatrist, if that is a possibility for you in your area. And I would also suggest to you to do as much research about what a diagnosis might entail because depending on the circumstances it can cause much more trouble than relief. Sorry if this does not help at all but anyway, I wish you the best on your journey!

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Hi Fred! I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Please know that you’re not alone❤️As Sam here said, I would also suggest that you seek out a psychiatrist. This is where I started my diagnostic process. I wish you strength and all the best on your journey. You deserve to get the help that you need.

[@fredchristian9924]

@@navigatingthespectrum thank you.

[@fredchristian9924]

@@samsei thank u

[@brianmeen2158]

“I’ve always known there was something very wrong” Same here. I always chalked it up to introversion and anxiety but knew it had to more than that. I just could never understand the strangeness and anxiety I felt growing up and why socializing felt so tiring. I was diagnosed last year at the age of 38 and I’m honestly in disbelief. Autism explains many things and I’ve masked since a young age - no one knows the real me and I don’t think I even do . And even with the diagnosis I now ask “ok now what?”

[@K175UN3]

Thank you, for sharing your experiences so far. I'm very happy that the algorithm recommended this video to me. I am watching a lot of videos around autism at the moment. Especially since my therapist talked a tiny bit about autistic looking traits, appearing in my behaviour. After all this input, I am pretty sure I am somewhat on the spectrum. But because it´s feeling like a stranger to me, after all this years of feeling different but unlabeled, I am insecure if I want to make the jump to this side. If it's understandable, which kind of struggIe I want to paint with this explanation. I'm, more or less, in a similar situation myself at the moment. Me (25), completed vocational training at the beginning of 2022. Started working right away. Felt heavy and too stressful fast, to keep on working. But I wasn't self-secure enough to quit myself. So it went on for 8 months until I was "fired". Now I am in a similar situation. I want to work, but I do not really know what, how and where. Seeing how you challenge this situation will surely support my next steps in Life, positively. I hope you find your way. I am not a native speaker, so excuse some _bugs_ in my grammar ^^.

[@T-Mary76]

Hi thank you for making this video. I can relate to struggling with being stuck, I spent a lot of my younger years like this. I love my current job but it has taken years to get to the point where I am now. I tried many things but actually settled for what I first thought I wanted to do when I did work experience at school. I am on a waiting list for an official diagnosis xx

[@kodakromecreations]

I'm newly self diagnosed, and I'm struggling with that because I've always had stigma against people who were on the autism spectrum. Now realizing that I have autism, I feel like I have to act a certain way. But I know that's not the case. Autism is different for everyone. There isn't a certain "way" people with autism act. And I'm trying to accept this part of myself, and hoping it will help me accept others with autism and fight my prejudice against people on the spectrum. Please don't hate me for my prejudice. I recognize it's wrong and I'm working hard on undoing it. But I know the first step is to accept it before I can do anything about it

[@joycebrewer4150]

I am autistic, too, but never knew until my late 50's. Ironically I was formally diagnosed at age 15, but nobody told me. I hate being lumped in with "low functioning" autistic people, being smart enough to be "Asperger's". At same time I have struggled with how to fit in, to point I gave up on that. I wanted to try to carve out a life for myself outside society but this my family would not allow. They believed I would end miserably and early. I would have liked to see if I could, tho. I saw no way for me to thrive in a typical employment environment. So my life has been a miserable fit for me in many ways. Those early adult years were closer to my dream than where I am now. I have a hard time being social, though some aspects are intermittently enjoyable. I have only recently understood that I am not so abnormal after all. I am just autistic.

[@redpalex]

Thank you ❤ I'm going through this too

[@BabyBossBoi]

I was 29 when I went to the US for my MBA degree. It was that time in my second year that I went to see a psychiatrist and got diagnosed with autism. I was in disbelief and got angry with the psychiatrist lol. Took me quite some time with my contemplating before coming to accept it. It explains everything in my past about my social struggle and trying to fit in. It's only when you truely accept who you are that you can stop the struggle. Stop trying to fix it. Start considering options in life that's suitable for you from the heart not from logical reasons. F*ck whoever that said " Get out of your comfort zone " or " It's only take practice ". They have no clue about autism and we can't forever put on that mask just to forever fit in. We eventually will implode. Go with what you're comfortable in a long term ! Don't try to fit in some corporate culture that not for you. The keyword here is " Don't try to". GO with what feels most natural to you.

[@passaggioalivello]

Hi, thanks for sharing your experience. I'm a level 2 autistic human undiagnosed during childhood. Now I'm struggling for my recognition, but in my country is a bureaucratic nightmare to have a proper diagnosis.

[@Yuffie13]

I'm more or less self-diagnosed/"diagnosed by mom and dad, but the doctor didn't think pursuing a formal diagnosis was viable in the 90s because of misogyny in neurological medicine". (I hope that wasn't too much of a word salad 😅) 31, still living with mom and dad, never had a proper job because my dad refused to help me write a resume when I had the drive to get a part-time job, and now I find the idea of job-seeking terrifying and I feel like I would get turned down because of my age and lack of experience. My parents tried to push me into a trade, but I hated the idea of being a bricklayer or a florist, and when I'd mentioned university it felt like my mom didn't think I was smart or mature enough for it. (I was homeschooled, so I had no guidance counselor to be a sounding board.) I did some writing courses at a local college, which I loved, but I kind of lost steam after there was a weird admin error the last time I registered for courses. Then covid happened. I think what bothers me the most is that my parents knew I was autistic, but they didn't help me all that much as a kid. It was like they wanted to brush it under a carpet and forget about it. Thank you for making this video, because it's fantastic to see another self-diagnosed person. (I'm envious of people who got diagnosed as teenagers! I wish I'd had that, but the GP I had as a teen was super-religious and an idiot who probably would've told me to pray more...) I'll definitely subscribe 😄

[@5livelaughlove]

you're not alone

[@danielwilliamson6180]

I'm 39. I'm autistic. I'm single and I have a sense of loneliness and I feel alone at times despite having family and friends.

[@pauladuncanadams1750]

My heart goes out to you. You are a bright and lovely young woman. You are intelligent, have good communication skills, and are high functioning if you do have autism, what was once called asperger's. It's very easy to have a lot of empathy for you. These are the cards you were given, and you are trying very hard to work with them. Remember, we all have SOMETHING we have to deal with or compensate for! We have to figure out our gifts and find how to best utilize them. I wish you good luck at your appointment. A diagnosis may actually help you because it may give you access to programs and / or funding, IDK. I know it helps people with autism who are younger, but I don't know what programs are available for your age group. Maybe your doctor will know more, or your parents can research? I live an hour from Silicon Valley and have spent some time in the Bay Area. There are A LOT of ppl there with either AD/HD or autism working in computer fields, mostly guys, though. Even so, I believe that there's a lot more compassion for those who are wired a bit differently there, just my opinion. But look at Zuckerberg. He absolutely has it in spades. Musk claims he has it, too. So please don't be too discouraged. I'm sure it's hard and exhausting trying to fit in. I hope you find an environment where you don't have to try as hard. Best wishes in all you do.

[@matthewfishwick3246]

Cool! Well I’m not sure if I’m HSP or autistic, but neither one would surprise me. My parents tried to diagnose me but I also have an autoimmune disease as well, all this happened because of my mom who’s a medical person (nurse) who has tried to control me with any medical issues. It’s not that I think she wasn’t right about that at all, like nothing to it but at almost adult age it was a really hard thing to go through. Thing is I get along pretty well socially but others like friends have told me I can be an extremely person compared to quite a few others. However, not always either. Probably I am slightly autistic, as I have had a lot of trauma. Keep making videos!

[@redbirddeerjazz]

I am inclined to think that “HSP” is usually autism under a different name. I guess for some people it is a more palatable term, perhaps because of internalised ableism or just misconceptions about what autism is. People who think autism is just Rain Man stereotypes are probably more likely to identify as HSP because they don’t even consider autism as a possibility. Also FYI, “slightly autistic” isn’t really a thing. All autistics are equally autistic, we just all have widely differing traits, abilities and support needs. Sending best wishes to you in your journey of self discovery! ❤

[@christopherarmstrong2095]

I applaud you for making this video. Almost everything you have said in your videos, it’s like you are describing my experiences and I am guy. Do you have a facebook page? I am also self diagnosed.

[@heedmydemands]

I'm glad u made this video. I am struggling with trying to get to a point of self diagnosing and being ok with it, I think I might need the validation of a professional to feel secure with knowing I'm autistic. I hope that it goes well for u. I feel like I've come to understand myself and things that bother me so much more since making this discovery about myself

[@navigatingthespectrum]

Thank you! I know how you feel. I still get imposter syndrome sometimes and there’s a part of me that needs that external validation. But we have to keep reminding ourselves that our experiences and needs are valid, even if we don’t have a formal diagnosis. I’m not even sure I’ll get one because I know how difficult it can be to get it. I believe that it’s perfectly fine to identify as autistic if you recognize the traits in yourself and if it’s helping you and improving your life. Do whatever feels right for you. Wishing you luck and all the best on your journey❤️

[@heedmydemands]

@@navigatingthespectrum thank you, yeah I think it's helping me to understand myself for sure, putting things into the words I wouldn't have thought of

[@jgrutza]

Hi Angelina, I was sent this video by my friend Stephen. I wanted to say that I really enjoyed your video sharing the process that you're going through and where you are in your life. I understand the difficult position that you've found yourself in, and you obviously do as well; you seem incredibly wise. I see that this video is a couple of months old now, so you've at least done your first appointment by now, I am excited to check out the rest of your videos and see any updates on your journey! I was diagnosed in 2020 at the age of 33 after a months long process. I think that the whole thing was something like five visits, the main one being four hours of testing. I understand being anxious or nervous about the whole thing. One of my biggest fears was, what if I am wrong about myself? What if they don't believe me? What if I'm not autistic enough to be diagnosed? I also worried that I wouldn't be able to explain things thoroughly, but to be honest, I'm not even sure that particular aspect is a large percentage of how they make their decision. I can imagine how absolutely devastating it would be to go through the long and expensive process only to find out they don't think you have autism. Thank you for the video.

[@kutay8421]

I am on the 'high functioning' end. Age 39. Quite a remarkable intelligence, I hold an engineering degree as well as a medical MD. But still I prefer not working and living a cheap life. I have my piano guitar sax instruments, bike laptop various gadgets and KZbin. Why should I bother to wake up early and have a 'normal' life? Some days I am lonely and depressed, some others cheerful and childish. Who cares? The technology brought up toxicology and allergents. (in fuel in food . .) Then came the pregnancy problems and autism. So we are an Outcome. Society wouldn't quit technology so we would ascend in numbers. As the mutants of X-men or any cartoon character you like.

[@CarlJdP]

Im 36. I'm also seem incapable to hold on to a job for more than 2months at a time, then dismissed because of time management & lacking communication skills 😑. Have tried many different things. Now I'm just a financial burden on the family.

[@The-KingsDaughter]

I'm also stuck. Currently I feel as though I have no friends. I gave so much and put so much energy into my friendships, but get nothing in return. I don't know if it's my lack of expression of what I need in a relationship, but I always considered myself an emotional person? I'm in a limbo and it's driving me crazy. I suspect that I'm autistic and have ADHD but there's this nagging voice telling me that I'm faking it. I seriously don't know anymore.

[@ericdrob]

A++

[@ricardobezerra2338]

God bless

[@KallmeAbigail]

❤️

[@stacyeisner441]

Keep going, my friend. You echo my life. But I'm 60 & having just figured it out. I am that one person, I know. Thank you

[@fitmomma1966]

I just found your video, just now. My 22yo daughter is similar to you, autistic but high functioning! Wondering where you live? She does not have a friend, as much as she tries to be social, she works, joined many things in HS, but was not befriended by anyone! Maybe you two could meet or at least connect on line!

[@thevintagepoet]

You don't need to mask for us. We are in a similar boat don't worry

[@navigatingthespectrum]

You’re so kind, thank you!❤️

[@nnylasoR]

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

[@pjz987]

Could you share a a link to your Etsy?

[@t.f.3228]

You’re lucky to be living at home while going through you’re illumination period…

[@kathryncollins8708]

I think it was Dan on TAW (The Aspie World) that said that people on the spectrum look younger than they are. I would say you fit that. Also act younger. I would say I fit that.

[@GordonBrevity]

I'm from London. I'm 41.

[@ginadiem9814]

Do you drive ?

[@roman2soiko2]

autistic people are wonderful it's no shame to admit you are autistic self acceptanceand selflove are important skills of survival

[@autisticexpressiongenx]

your luki you r so young to figure it out it took 40 plus for me to get it figured out.

[@NothingHumanisAlientoMe]

You have a tidy living room though

[@Alexanderstarreveldo]

an official diagnosis won't help much I'm afraid. But I highly recommend spiritual pursuits.