The Importance of Stimming in Late Diagnosed Autistic Adults

The art of stimming is important for autistic people, especially late-diagnosed autistic adults who may have trained themselves out of it. In this video we will cover: what is stimming, why do we stim, why is stimming important, and how do I re-learn the art of stimming. I’ll also share my new FAVORITE stim toy that helps me fidget discreetly during meetings and social gatherings. Scroll down for timestamps to jump to a specific section of the video.
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TIMESTAMPS
Click on any of the blue timestamps to jump to that section of the video.
What is stimming? (0:59)
Why do we stim? (1:49)
Why is stimming important? (4:14)
Did I forget how to stim? (5:55)
Why do we stop stimming? (6:30)
Covert stims (7:01)
What happens when we suppress our stims? (8:32)
Self awareness leads to change (10:07)
Imposter syndrome when re-learning stims (11:01)
ABA Therapy and “Quiet Hands” (12:45)
My favorite stim toy! (14:06)
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#actuallyautistic #momonthespectrum #autisticadult

[@Authentically.Autistic]

I love stimming so much that I found a way to get paid to do it. I “massage” people but really all I’m doing is stimming all over them.

[@Authentically.Autistic]

And better yet, I tell them they need to be quiet because I can’t concentrate on them well enough when I talk and work. So they shut it and usually fall asleep because I’m so amazing at stimming on people.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

@@Authentically.Autistic this is a super cool approach! turning your sensory needs into a career. i like it

[@jordandean7737]

Brilliant!

[@cyohe8643]

Wow, cool

[@raven8sma]

And here I thought I was the only one!

[@summermazur3064]

When I first was diagnosed, I didn't think I stimmed much, other than rocking when tired or really upset. This is because everyone usually talks about motor stims. But I verbal stim all the time when alone or at home, by singing, humming, or making nonsense sounds. I never knew verbal stimming was a thing until a few years ago. It's just not talked about for some reason! Now that I work from home, I can verbal stim whenever I want, and it's great! 😂

[@Snowbird5779]

Same! I sing or talk to myself a lot, esp the same songs I taught myself in high school

[@siobhanmulvey]

🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@Hackanhacker]

Pretty much the same xD These time I practicing a lot singing playing with my vocal cord a lot ... its damn fun xD And do help remove my repeated random sound and noise :P (but my goal isnt to stop) My energy is more focus on that task

[@cyohe8643]

Oh my gosh...this is a thing?! I have done this all my life! The more I learn, the more I believe I'm definitely on the spectrum! I sing, talk to myself, & sometimes make sounds.

[@CubanMelanin]

Yup I’ll sometimes sing out of nowhere while talking almost like a musical too 🤣 I notice it’s only with my kids husband and my brother 🤣 very easy to slip at home because I’m comfortable and not masking as much 😅

[@perfectlyhopeless]

The "am I faking" thing was something that I was hit so hard with when I stopped masking 24/7. I was so afraid of being perceived as attention seeking, but then I started recognizing that there was no way, because I do the majority of my stimming when I'm by myself, so it's like. Who am I acting for? It's regulatory, so I should just relax and let myself stim

[@kevinbrook6361]

I can relate to this so much. I’m trying to relearn to stim. As a kid I wiggled my eyebrows constantly, and could control them really well, but my siblings started calling me brows, so that was done. Then I rocked a lot, and a friend asked me if I was autistic because in elementary school. I didn’t know what it meant, but the description from a third grader made it sounds bad, so no more rocking. Then it was predominantly flexing my butt cheeks, especially in the car, like I would flex on the left or right to match any signs , mailboxes, etc. that we passed, but weened myself off it in my twenties. Now I have pent up energy, and don’t have the cake I nce possessed!

[@thissunchild]

​​@@kevinbrook6361😂😂😂 I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing *_with_* you. The procession of stimming techniques has me ROFL 😂

[@MessiahRamsay]

yesssss

[@klauds6375]

I find it extremely difficult to let myself stim. I smoke weed medically, and it's the first time in my life I've been able to just chill the fuck out. I notice that when I'm totally just in my own world, watching KZbin videos I stim like crazy without even realising it. But then when I do notice what I'm doing I get really ashamed and start more self destructive kind of stims. Hair pulling, sometimes hitting myself or scratching pinching. It's messed up. But I'm trying to get through it, just let myself be myself. It's getting easier the more I just let myself relax

[@khazz33]

I tend to get overwhelmed when a lot of different noises are competing with each other. My precursor to a meltdown, which is really usually just me snapping at someone, is a feeling of what I like to call "brain fullness". It feels like if I get anymore auditory information, I'll burst.

[@Mushroom321-]

Yes!!!, i fee irritable in my body... Not diag. Utism but A.d.d.

[@callie6132]

While you were talking about covert stimming I remembered that I have always scrunched my toes inside my shoes when I’ve felt anxious in social situations and then you said “scrunching your toes in your shoes.” 😂 I’m 49 and was diagnosed last year. Your videos make me feel less alone. Thank you

[@sarahkuczynski13]

Me too ladies ,& thanks to all of you I’m feeling significantly less weird today! I’m 42, also newly diagnosed, singing toe scruncher for life!..🥲🤗😂

[@shiny6123]

I was always Singing, whistling, fidgeting with things or fingers, popping my ankles, jaws, and knee caps but I never knew that was stimming and I haven’t been diagnosed. Seems like I would quit one stim but then find or develop a new one. I think it’s because I would try to be normal so I always had to learn to stop but then a new one would show up . 😢

[@mbm8404]

With whom do you speak (doctor or clinician type) to get diagnosed?

[@ozok17]

@@mbm8404 hmm some places to start might be by trying to get a referral from a doctor (even primary care) or therapist (psychologist, psychiatrist, etc) to someone who can do an assessment. it's probably wise to get multiple referral options, in case some assessment providers are scheduled too far out (dunno your timeframe for this, but some places are scheduled out for over a year in advance) or have closed their waitlist (though they might tell you when or under what circumstances they might reopen it) or don't take your insurance (or other payment options, dunno where you're based) or only assess certain demographics (such as only people under a certain age or who live in certain locations). also it likely needs to be in person for the day of testing (though some places allow videochat intake beforehand and results-review afterwards), so figure out transportation in advance and keep that in mind when scheduling and even when selecting whether or not to use a given assessment provider. oh and they might not be able to specify an exact monetary price but can probably give you a range of expected estimates for what the cost might be. anyhow also you could try looking online for places that offer assessments, and then try contacting some (likely several), typically by phone and/or email (there might be other options too but i don't know them). sorry if that's way too much information, especially if it's not actually helpful you. anyhow, good luck!

[@ozok17]

@@mbm8404 oh, oops, i just realised i didn't really address the question you actually asked. while i don't know which formal titles are considered eligible to provide official assessments, here are some potentially-relevant terms, in case they help: psychologist psychiatrist lcsw (licensed clinical social worker) therapist assessor proctor psychometrist board-certified (especially for doctors) vocational rehabilitation counsellor (vrc)

[@parttimesaint3165]

Self-compassion has been something I didn't even know existed until I was around 28 years old. I burned out mentally after many years of hard work and I'm in recovery. Self-compassion is really important and I'm struggling to force myself to take better care of myself and put myself first.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I would gently encourage you that whenever I use the word “force”, it usually adds more stress. I like to replace the word “force” with “allow.” Sending you lots of love and peace.

[@neowolf09]

Same! Also to add to that, I've been working on not saying to myself "I need to ____" cause when I don't do whatever that "need" is it feels like I let myself down.

[@pandalife2839]

Hey so how's it going 38 and been on the path of that for 3 years or so. Slowly being introduced to it. (Late diagnosis audhd)

[@flamingohead27]

I feel that I'm just figuring out Self-compassion and I'm still awful at it and I'm 37. 😅 Not to take away what your saying and I'm sorry if I'm offensive.

[@rek8193]

I bought drumsticks and a quiet practice pad, channeled it into learning and developed a whole new hobby.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

That is awesome!

[@stephaniea1185]

I have had two knee replacement surgeries and never even tried to use the rowing machine I have in my living room. I was too scared to fail. Your stimming video for some reason made me climb on it using my walker for support. I don't know but rowing seemed to me to be the ultimate stimming and the rowing machine was just sitting there. I ended up doing a 31 minute rowing workout around a Montana lake. I'm crying. I didn't think I would ever be able to do it. The rowing machine just made me feel bad and lazy. Now I feel like I have broken through. Thank you for your kindness and help. It is more important than you know. -Steph

[@passaggioalivello]

Thank you. I had to repress my stimming because it was unacceptable at home and an excuse to bully me even more at school, worsening my depression. Nowadays the imposter syndrome is a thing because I'm learning again how to stim.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I experience the imposter syndrome too. But usually after I stim I feel better and happier so I'm trying to focus on that. Hope you're doing ok, pass!

[@theageofgoddess]

I can relate.

[@teresabailey7874]

I am 65, and am waiting on the results of my testing, so I am not sure if I am on the spectrum, as of yet. My hand flapping was also suppressed, as a child. My parents and older siblings said it made me look like a baby. So I quit it. Only to pick up another less obvious form later. Twirling my hair. Chewing nails. Picking at my nails. Eventually, I picked up smoking, and after about 40 years, switched to vaping. Now I find myself always holding my vape device, or whatever else is in my pockets. I often rub my thumb on the surface of the vape, as I think. I have picked up so many different forms of stimming, and also suppressed all of them, because now I am aware of the movement. I even pace. At home I dance. I was NOT aware that I scrunch my toes. But, now I am! 😭

[@passaggioalivello]

@@teresabailey7874 Hi, I'm so sorry even you had your stimming repressed. But I'm happy you can now recognize yourself to stim.

[@echofoxtrot2.051]

Imposter syndrome means you feel like a fraud? Why do you feel like a fraud, if you aren't a fraud? Thats not autism, that's social anxiety.

[@maiahN]

I think I didn’t stim as a kid which caused me to develop trichotillomania, skin picking, scalp picking, nail biting, lip chewing. It makes sense now since my diagnosis knowing it’s how my body is trying to release energy.

[@neurodivergentliv]

I'm exactly the same! Trying to figure out replacement stims is REALLY tough. It makes sense with my late diagnosis, but I'm not sure how to stim in other ways after so long.

[@eugeniahogan9043]

Holy shit, this just hit me right between the eyes. I'm fighting for ASD/ADHD evaluation at 34. I was evaluated for ADHD as a child but was already termed "gifted," and this was before the DSM criteria got changed to reflect female symptoms. High school and college were nightmarish, I've been diagnosed high anxiety and major depressive disorder, along w the impulse control disorder "skin excoriation," aka trichotillomania.

[@maiahN]

@@eugeniahogan9043 oh wow I hope you can get an evaluation soon! I just got diagnosed adhd and asd last year at 20 years old. I’m sorry you got “skipped” as a kid. I kinda did too though it was more to do with being homeschooled lol. My mom was just able to adjust things to me. But now, trying college again seems terrifying. Also, I think I worded my comment wrong 😂 trichotillomania is hair pulling and dermatillomania is skin picking. I know it was helpful for me to have the right words for it so I can find more information about it. Sorry for my rambles but I hope this maybe helped. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. 😊

[@Inevitably_Invisible]

Omgg yes I’ve had trichotillomania and dermotillomania and nail biting for so many years (since a very young child) I’ve had to shave my head multiple times so that I wouldn’t damage my scalp, was diagnosed with ADHD at age 10 but was just recently diagnosed with Autism too

[@maiahN]

@@Inevitably_Invisible I’ve had to shave my hair so many times too. It’s been a buzz cut for so many years. It sucks and I miss my long hair. But I’m hoping that as I learn more about how I can lessen my anxiety and overwhelm it will get better! I’ve also had a hard time letting myself stim or trying stims when I feel like pulling. Thanks for sharing! It’s nice to know how similar others experience is to mine

[@evelynm.8967]

It’s so mind blowing to me…as women we seem to fly under the radar when it comes to autism. I am 30 years old and I realized all of the sudden my whole life made sense under the context of autism. I was so confused and fell into depression which I sought therapy for and now I know why. Stimming is essential. This energy that we have is for creating things. It’s a gift. I am going to see a psychologist that specializes in autism in June to get the formal diagnosis. 🌈💖💃🏼👽

[@Miss_Elaine_]

Imagine being 53 and realizing same. I thought my ADHD diagnosis was earth shaking but it's nothing compared to this.

[@BetheChange80]

Swimming is essential, self talk is essential- So true, that is the mantra used by many people who are undiagnosed but found their own coping ways. Getting diagnosed completes the missing puzzle. Suddenly your life makes sense as to why others in a social group always behaved the same ways (smart and detached) whereas we need written social rules.

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

That sort of thing happens a lot because some diagnoses look different between men and women. Heart attacks are particularly problematic for women because the symptoms don't match up very well with the ones that men get. ADHD also tends to look different in girls than boys, and much of the popular references to autism are very malecentric behaviors taken way too far.

[@RedSaint83]

I don't know if women are overrepresented when it comes to getting diagnosed, but I can tell from personal experience that some parents just don't want to accept that their kids are different. My boomer parents sure didn't. Imagine letting pride ruin your kids life. Well, it's not ruined, but I could've probably done better in life had I been diagnosed 20-30 years ago, then again, times has changed a lot. ADHD as an example was barely known about when I grew up in the 90s.

[@yeahokaycoolcool]

I'm 26 and going after a diagnosis this year as well! I'm currently sorting through some clinics to pick which one I like the most. Best of luck to you!

[@jules9669]

Ahhhh so that's why during school I needed to draw in the margins of my papers to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. I used to always tell my teachers "if I'm looking at you, I'm probably not paying attention. If I'm drawing and looking down, I'm listening"

[@kannot4892]

YES!!!!!!! If I’m looking at the teacher, I’m zoning out or studying their features or body movements but definitely not listening lol

[@mrsmorris265]

My kittens decided my stim (tapping) was their "come to me" call. I find it hilarious and very comforting, because I don't even notice when I'm tapping until I get interrupted. They help me see how frequently I tap, so I can measure how stressed (ie interrupted/overwhelmed/stuck) I am feeling so I know to engage in more self-care (ie reflex integration therapy/flow massage/yoga) or ask for executive functioning help. I stim most often when my hips hurt from holding still in any position and kitty purrs help SO much with the deep pain.

[@TheINFP_Diary]

Maybe you're kittens are coming to intentionally help you be i they sense your overwhelmed/stressed :) they're real ones my friend!

[@JWildberry]

I agree with neuroverse. Animals can sense/read your energy since that's their main language. I'm not a cat owner, but don't they have similar behaviors when stressed? Tail flicking and such? It seems likely that your cats recognizes your stress-stimming and comes to soothe you. Many dogs are self-taught therapy animals and alert owners who have epilepsy, narcolepsy, diabetes, panic attacks, etc. It's more common in dogs, or at least better documented, but I have no doubt many cats do the same thing without their owners realizing it. And remember, stroking a pet and looking into their eyes releases the "love hormone" oxytocin in both of you, which lowers stress. It also reduces pain, like you mention, so take full advantage of your cats' love when they offer their help!

[@alyciamarie4163]

I never realized how much my husband and I move our toes until we realized our Pomeranian was standing super closer to our feet ( as we sleep) and basically getting a chest massage!!!! How funny!!! He does it every night/morning

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@paulvoorhies8821]

@@TheINFP_Diary. Cats do this very frequently, and I don’t believe it has much of anything to do with their owner.

[@lisawanderess]

When I was a kid I was totally obsessed with those little toys that had multiple parts held together with elastic and when you pressed the button under the base the toy (usually some kind of animal) would collapse and then stand back up when you released the button. I would do this over and over as I found it endlessly fascinating! Kinda like clicking a pen but way more visually appealing

[@jimwilliams3816]

I loved those! With a deft hand you could sort of make them dance. I wish I still had one. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@crisbanta5068]

I kept my son's, after he grew out of it. It's a red pony, and seeing it on the shelf in my room, the other night, I realized why I loved them so much...stimming! So much is stimming! At 65, this is all just fascinating and exciting to find out. Just realizing my own autism in the past four months, researching my son's. What a wonderful relief, it is. Thanks for your videos, Taylor, you have been one of my main go-to's, in this process.

[@sarahspencer9360]

Yessss. Those were fabulous.

[@Solitude11-11]

Oh I loved those!

[@littlewyzard]

you just unlocked a core memory from my childhood. i swear i could play with those things for hours

[@livinginthenow]

I stumbled onto a very covert stim that can easily be done in public. At least I'd call it a stim because it is a behavior that really helps me regulate my emotions. I crochet. I do it at home whenever I need to, but also in public. One of the most stressful places for me has always been waiting rooms (especially if they have a tv blasting something stupid at volume 11). Nowadays, I pop my earplugs in and dig out my crocheting. While I'm focusing on the stitches I'm doing, I can feel my anxiety I'm experiencing in that space start to recede. As an added bonus, I can go to my 'happy place' and I don't have to interact with anyone around me. The trick is to try not to hyper focus and miss my name when it's called! 🤣

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes I crochet too and I totally agree!! It’s one of my favorite stims!

[@CC-hx5fz]

I love knitting and crochet. The last couple of years, I've learned to spin wool, too. Spinning requires a lot of focus to learn, because you have to synchronise all the movements, but once you have the technique then you learn how to get out of your own way in order to be more productive. I also enjoy the knitting mills. You can make thinner threads into thicker yarns simply by turning the handle (for hours if you like).

[@nova4476]

Crocheting is one of the only things (apart from brown noise) that makes my brain be quiet. It’s almost like my brain is purring when I do it.

[@Love-bc2en]

Me tooooo!

[@XandraMirum]

Same!

[@Maria-ok7oe]

As a child, I found a very hidden way of stimming (or something similar) namely puzzling. It immediately gave me the image of a mature intelligent quiet child which i liked and people left me alone when i was busy doing it. I always used it to calm me down and keep my mind focused on something while not occupying it so that i could process. Now i moved and i realised that I really get agitated if i can not puzzle so i had to buy a puzzle to calm myself down and as soon as i dabbed my hand into the pieces, i felt the calm coming back.

[@thesavvyblackbird]

I used to really enjoy hand flapping but my mom made me quit “because I looked crazy”. Same with rocking. So I picked my skin, bit my nails, and scrunched my toes. In the past few years I’ve been letting myself stim more after watching videos and reading about autism. Mostly because my husband is on the spectrum. Now I realize why we clicked so well was I have ADHD (diagnosed) and maybe autism. My mental health has improved so much now that I no longer repress my urges to stim. I’m so glad that autism and stimming are no longer stigmatized and are being accepted by so many people. I don’t feel ashamed anymore.

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@burntlips95]

Used to do the hand flapping shit too lol. Eventually i replaced that with smoking cigarettes. Not a great habit but at least i can fucking sit still.

[@lorraine70]

Have you noticed a link between depression and stimming?

[@AnnaPoli800]

I can soooo relate!!!!

[@Lsaysl]

Yes! I took Suzuki piano lessons when I was a kid. My piano teacher noticed that my hands were always too tense to play properly and my whole body was stiff, so she had me just breathe and flap my hands until I could relax before we started anything. I started doing it all the time because it felt good, and Mom would tell me to stop "because people will think you're autistic." Before the hand flapping, I made animal noises for fun and got the same admonishment--"don't do that or people will think you're autistic!" The piano lessons were supposed to help with the random noise outbursts...I have ADHD, but was never diagnosed with autism. It seems likely that I went undiagnosed because I was evaluated in the early 80s, before they recognized that ADHD and autism present differently in girls.

[@cutsbyelvis]

I unintentionally turned cutting hair into a stim for myself and ended up building a whole career off of it 😂

[@ladydatura2529]

That's amazing!! Talk about doing something you love 😊 or in this case, something that releases energy and tension and sooth 🖤

[@jefferyalpha803]

Awesome. Our twins seem very musical. It seems to really help them. Maybe they will be professional musicians, or at least have a really cool hobby.

[@NickUncommon]

I am just so relieved, to read, that someone else has a "hair stim", it was me who sat down at friends places, detangling the hair of all the dolls and making cute hairdos. I was in the zone every time. Just last weekend, I cut the hair of my sisters oldest kid, and we got to talking, how I learned to cut hair, so I got to tell them, that I cut all my dolls hair when I was around 3 or 4, because I thought, the hair would grow back. So my sister coined the slogan, I want to have on a t shirt now. I am not a hair stylist, I am just stimming :)

[@cutsbyelvis]

@@NickUncommon I promise you I will buy that shirt if you make it.

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@TheCommonS3Nse]

The thing about stopping and starting is so true. I get completely thrown off when I am in the middle of something and it gets interrupted. I actually find it far easier to do things on my own, because then there are no interruptions. I would rather figure out how to do a multi person task on my own, because I know there won’t be any breaks in what I’m doing. I can just keep going and I’m happy. If there is someone else working with me I get frustrated because either they want to take a break, or they want to chat, or I have to stop what I’m doing to explain something to them.

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@tabularasa9462]

I didn't know echolalia and singing counted as stims. I sing as a measure of my personal wellness - if I don't feel like it I'm getting into dangerous territory mental health-wise. I've also just always copied sounds around me, especially when happy or particularly stressed 🤷🏾‍♀️ Thanks for helping me understand why ❤

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@mercury2c]

Those are my stims too! I didn't know they could be verbal but now I have a much better understanding of why and when I do them. Thanks

[@marykatteach]

Oh! This makes sense! I was singing constantly as a child and teenager. Moving to an apartment where I can’t sing all the time has been really difficult and i will often drive places just so i can sing loud in the car. I never thought why that might be.

[@Artyshell53]

Wow. Yup singing here too. (Otherwise i would have said stimming was squashed as a child) my two biggest clues are my garden (if its healthy, watered etc, i am too) and the phrase "are you ok" if i am asking MYSELF are you ok, then thats my sign i need to change/ reduce something because i only ask myself that once im heading into overwhelm.

[@lisathacker5313]

Yes! If music is on I can’t not sing. If it’s not socially acceptable I still must sing in my head. Makes total sense this is stimming but I never thought of it that way.

[@helihamalainen]

I live in Finland and I’m so glad that I found your KZbin-channel 👍🏻 Your videos have explained a lot about ASD and ADHD. I haven’t been diagnosed yet but trying very hard to get it soon. I have realised that when I stand I constantly move weight from one foot to another. And I also twist my torso, stretch and sometimes go down to sit in a deep squat. When I am working I’m allways standing. At home I have made a standing desk and every where I go I build up a special desk for me so that I can stand and do my wobbling - stimming. At home I usually stand so that I have to balance pillows under my feet. Or I am massaging my foot with a golf ball / tennis ball / massage ball. Luckily here in Finland at schools and work places it is allmost normal to have breaks when to move or STIM 😂 I have said to my friends that Finland is the Autistic Wonderland because our culture it is NORMAL that you don’t like small talk, you want to be laine and look at the water on your thoughts, or you want to live in the middle of a forest and the closest neighbour is 10 km away, or when you see a friend after one Year you just keep on talking with him/her where the story ended last time, and so on …. Welcome to FINLAND All Autistic friends ❤

[@anniestumpy9918]

Hello, I enjoyed living in Finland a lot because unlike most other countries the tone is set by the introverted and not by the extroverted. This made my stay (it was for work) there a lot more bearable than most other places, I didn't know I am autistic yet at this time but now everything makes even more sense. Greetings from Germany!

[@Pouquiloury]

❤💚💙

[@tearstoneactual9773]

Finland sounds like my freaking dreamland.

[@frostflaggermus]

gosh...... yeah, every time i'm back in finland i just feel at Home, partially because i was literally born there but also it's just... very nice. and i miss it so much. my family moved to another country when i was very young so i didn't really get a chance to really grow up there sadly :(

[@raffine_9705]

It does sound like a wonderland for autistic people!

[@yesterdaydream]

I can't be the only one who loves to lay on my stomach on a bed, lift up my lower legs, and let them drop down so they go da-DOING! and bounce back up.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

love this visual!! 😆

[@myotisgirl]

Omg I used to do this all the time as a kid! I still do when I can't sleep! (If my hubby is out)!. Lol

[@yesterdaydream]

@@myotisgirl I knew I wasn't alone!!! lol

[@bluehawaiiansky]

You’ll probably never see this, but I’m in tears right now of joy because I’ve been bothered for so long about seeing myself in videos interacting with my children and wondering why my blink rate is so incredibly fast I’ve been very interested in body language analysis over the last year or two and they say that that is an indication of deception and that’s why it bothered me so much for so long but now I realize it’s just a huge Stimming thing that I do and I’m so grateful that you just mentioned that and pointed it out today. I feel so much better knowing what it is. Thank you so much😢

[@AlexS-xh1mx]

I actually did it backwards: "rediscovering" stimming was a big part of what helped me figure out I am Autistic. I have done a ton of somatic trauma work and the more I released old trauma-related tension from my body, the more I noticed my body wanted to move on its own. I figured I better let my body do what it wanted if it was going to stay relaxed after years of intense tension. I was doing things like rocking for several years, thinking the word "Autism" could never have anything to do with me before I came across information that led me to realize that I am on the spectrum. I now believe that the extreme tension I used to carry was not only a product of trauma, but also of holding the energy of stimming inside for so many years. This isn't an effect I have heard/read discussed anywhere else; usually the focus is on psychological distress (which of course is very important) of inhibiting stimming.

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@rebeccaledam7544]

That resonates so much with me, and it´s something I´ve been discovering as well lately. That the more trauma work I´ve done, the more I relax, the more I start shaking my legs when sitting down, feeling antsy. I have been told this is stored survival energy finally being released, when we get out of the freeze state. But I´ve always picked my scalp when alone, and my no one thing I´ve done as long as I can remember, is picking my fingers, nails, and cuticles. It´s like constant! Having been diagnosed with ME/CFS and fibromyalgia (have had ME for 22 years), I´ve always thought my sensitivity to basically everything had to do with that, and a dysregulated nervous system from childhood. Now I´m wondering more and more if I´m actually on the spectrum. I´ve also recently realized how much I´ve masked over the years, without having a clue that I did just that, trying to fit in and seem normal. No matter if I have autism or something else, it´s so freeing to start acting and being myself, and don´t care how others will take it :)

[@JessicaDarling2]

Wheeeew you’re speaking directly to me! I’ve dabbled in somatics but I’m now going to do some exercises **tonight**. 🙂

[@Kamishi845]

I am having a similar experience. Currently going through the process of realizing I'm probably autistic (I'm pretty sure I am but I still want to wait for it to be official before I say that I am) and when I first started to read/hear about stimming it didn't make sense to me. But the more I think about it and whether I do it or not, the more I sort of find that I get intrusive impressions of mentally regressing and doing various stimming activities. I don't know if they're memories I didn't know I have or something my mind just made up because figuring this out has become my new interest so it's quite emotionally intense, but it's almost like rediscovering yourself in a way. I also went through a lot of trauma so I don't recall my childhood well so I can't how I was like as a child either. Which is why this is so confusing to me.

[@askdrportia]

SAAAAAME!!!

[@jayneburns-milostic3208]

I just subscribed. I am a 56 year old undiagnosed Aspie. Only realised at age 50 when researching my then 4 year old. I read an article about 19 traits of girls and women on the spectrum and cried throughout as each trait they expanded in I related to. It explained my whole life and was such a relief and made me immediately more understanding of and kinder to myself. We were unable to get a diagnosis for her at that time as she is super high functioning like me. She is now 11 and really noticing the ways in which she processes is different to her friends. She has asked that we pursue a diagnosis for her this year. Thank you beautiful. Looking forward to binging some of your content. 🙏🏻♥️

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@317Chris]

My daughter goes outside and skips. That's how she stims. This channel helps me understand my daughter more and more every day. Thanks for this!

[@cassandrawinona8748]

As a professional artist I realised a while ago that my art, especially when I'm working with clay is my form of stimming, without it I feel like I literally start to lose my mind. Thank you for this video, this information is so important.

[@timseguine2]

I swear every time I watch one of your videos or read the comment section it awakens a childhood memory I repressed because of shame.

[@hazcatsophia]

Interesting. Sometimes I get a feeling of frustration energy that seems to come from nowhere. What you say makes sense. It’s a sensory overload.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes and for me it is becoming easier to recognize over time. The other day I had a weird burst of uncomfortable energy that nothing would soothe. Finally got out my flute (intense special interest) and the energy let up after I played for a while.

[@bolinhong2598]

There is a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now

[@PEARL_Pediatric_Therapy]

Nail biting, hip popping, rolling my ankles, toe scrunching, squeezing between my thumb and pointer finger and holding pressure there, hair brushing, dancing, big movements during praise and worship (combines singing and movement in a safe place). Great video, Taylor!

[@indigobunting2431]

I hate doing these stims, but I do them, especially. nailbiting.

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@user-yd6th5ch5k]

Same here. Nail biting since being a toddler. 59 yrs.

[@ToEnlightInLove]

I never thought about praise & worship! Makes sense now why that's my favorite part of the service

[@anthonyvalentine9685]

So recently I experienced a meltdown in a situation that I could not escape from. Previously anytime this happened I could escape and deal with it personally and alone. Because of my work requirements I was stuck with no way to expel this energy in a personal manner. I ended up stimming in a very awkward manner around my coworkers to mitigate the energy. Fortunately my coworkers were accepting of the concept after I explained it. Since that event I have been very careful to make sure that energy doesn't build up to the point of a meltdown. Stimming is very important to keep from breeching social propriety in an enclosed situation.

[@bolinhong2598]

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from KZbin here. His herbs work perfectly

[@janemorrow6672]

I think you just changed my life. Overwhelmed and itchy all over describes me on a daily basis.

[@pear92]

I’m sitting here with one of my cats in my lap, and I’m just now realizing that I pet my cats as a form of stimming. The soft fur is satisfying and comforting (and it’s a win-win because they like it too! Lol)

[@Hackanhacker]

Doing something isnt necessarly stimming ....

[@grain9640]

@@Hackanhacker that's true but for me, if I wasn't petting my cat I would be rubbing my feet together while I read or watch literally anything, and if I suppressed things like that, I would be doing harmful behaviors like skin picking or chewing my tongue kind of stuff I stopped petting my cat to type this and ended up rubbing my toes together without realizing it 😅

[@Hackanhacker]

@@grain9640 Ahah I seee :P The little cat is important then ;)

[@Hackanhacker]

@NEW HOPE INSURANCE LTD IS THIS A BOT LOOOL Report pls xD look like a scam

[@Medietos]

Kris: Pets don't like our sick behaviours, no. They endure it because they sense we need it. They want to help and see it as their jobs. They sacrifice themselves for us, and often get our diseases, which animals don't normally get naturally. It is awful to see how my Aspergers niece treats her poor cat compulsively stimming. Fortunately she has fnally started eltting the cat out on her own to be free and be a cat. her nervousness has lessened since. Syhe and her Malignant Narcissist-disorder husband abused his cat and her kittens to death before, I was so cross with them for not respecting the prohibition for them by the animal protection authority to keep pets again.- But maybe you are not bad to your cat, please disreagrd this if so. Be well.

[@rachs6229]

I've always assumed that I was on the spectrum and I finally received my diagnosis last year at 35. I'm a high masker so most of my stems are more discreet but have always had restless legs, and looking back I had a LOT of really obvious stims in childhood that I stopped doing to fit in to society. Never realised singing was a stim! That's definitely one of mine!!!

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@H0neybee_]

Me too

[@dianeb-r8512]

I'm almost 23, in the middle of the diagnosis process, and slowly realizing that I am CONSTANTLY stimming - and have done so for most of my life, mainly thumb sucking, repetitive hair playing and distractedly touching my face; Since I've started questioning myself, about three years ago, my mask has naturally broke down piece by piece : now I can feel the energy concentrating in my hands and I actually started overly flapping in public to express joy or excitement since maybe last year. It's not like I'm not used to be the weird kid anyway :D

[@orcasrising]

Definitely can relate to being in a flow state and not being / wanting to stop because once I've stopped, it's going to take me a while to get back into that state again. Also about the stagnant energy -- when I wake up in the morning, I just lay there awake in bed, going back and forth between just staring blankly out of the window or being on my phone. I know it's not because I'm lazy, but I find it incredibly hard to actually get out of bed and get the day started.

[@bolinhong2598]

There is a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now

[@whitneymason406]

I definitely am a recovering nail biter! Once I got my diagnosis I became more aware of my stims, especially the more self destructive ones, and have been redirecting them to more positive stims! Great topic! 💞

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I keep nail clippers in my purse now so that anytime something isn't even (which drives me nuts) i can quickly trim it to avoid constant picking

[@joycebrewer4150]

I bite my nails too, have done since a kindergartener. Long since grown up. Discovered my autism in my late 50's. As a young child, I remember sitting with my back against a wall, pressing into it as I rocked side to side. I thought of it then as a substitute for a hug. Later, I went to chewing gum a lot more than other kids my age. And when I got older, I would keep a quarter in my pocket or purse, and repeatedly turn it over in my hand, or run a fingertip around the edge when I felt nervous. It helped.

[@lorrygoth]

I managed to stop biting my nails and developed a facial tick that has gone away now that I stim intentionally.

[@jeannette7154]

I use to bite my nails all the time and about 10 years ago. I realized that any time I would find myself biting, I would go trim my nails with a clipper. That curbed the behavior to the point that I've almost stopped completely. I still practice this and have found my nails to be much healthier and the beds have actually grown back as well.

[@echoc7213]

I just painted my nails in an attempt to stop (hasn't worked in past but who knows). My previous record was 2 months without nail biting...then it just started up again. I hope this works. I think I'll have to combine nail polish with switching to a different stim when I notice myself starting so it hopefully just moves to a different stim.

[@DamnMandi]

After my diagnosis I understood my incessant singing. My roommate started paying attention that I was always singing, without even realizing, for years… He joked I had a tiny archivist in my brain that was always playing and organizing records.

[@meredithgreenslade1965]

I remember when I was young and had no idea I was on the spectrum. I was a nurse, and at the beginning of each shift, we would stand and listen to the RN on duty hand over to us the necessary information about each patient. I had to start night duty and the night RN waited until the others left the room and she went absolutely ballistic at me. She wanted to know why I fidgeted every hand over and wouldn't stand still. I had no idea that I was even doing it. She asked me if I was intentionally doing it to annoy her. Terrible experience I will never forget. It took me 30 years later to understand why I did but I became covert and I was affected by this womens insensitivity

[@1st1anarkissed]

I had a problem with stimming being an unproductive but time consuming activity. I was instilled with a lot of instinctive anxiety about being caught doing unproductive activity. For me, the last two years have created a whole new focus as well as given me the best stim toy in history. I learned to spin yarn on drop spindles. It's socially acceptable and interesting so starts conversations, extremely portable, and produces a sellable or useable product.

[@briana3828]

I’m considering learning how to needle felt for this reason!

[@amandatarver1093]

I was diagnosed a little over a year ago at the age of 36. For people who don't think it is worth it to get a late diagnosis (I used to be one of those people, so no shade), it is actually quite a game changer. It was something I had known for a while, but having the validation of a doctor agree was huge. In an odd way, it has also given me permission to lean into my autism. I have had to mask since I was very little and I am actively working on discovering all of the ways in which I mask and figuring out when masking serves my best interests and when I can start to remove those behaviors. I have also realized that there are things that I have always done that I now recognize as stimming (dancing, singing, repetitive movements, nail biting, hair pulling...). I tried one of the pop toys recently and was shocked at how good it feels. I'm going to give the rollers a try, so thanks for the recommendation!

[@juiice]

This is really reassuring. I think it’s exactly what I’m seeking. I’m trying really hard to lean into my AuDHD (Autism & ADHD) and ‘allow’ myself to do what I need but I feel that a diagnosis would give me the external permission that I seek. I get serious impostor syndrome. That said I believe wholeheartedly that self identification is fully valid and should be encouraged. Happy that it made a big difference for you 😊

[@wanderingintime]

I dont have the money to do that.. I have quite a few associated problems and was hoping that the doctor would have resources or information about therapy modalities available for autistic adults who are not able to subdue anxieties to work around other people/not be overwhelmed/confused easily. do they offer more like they might for teens and younger? or just tell you that you do in fact have it?

[@wanderingintime]

@Escobar🇺🇸Pablo thank you

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

Is it? Unless there's actual accommodations involved, the actual diagnosis is just a stamp on your experience. The actual change comes from doing your own research and figuring out what works for yourself. There aren't necessarily always doctors out there to treat adults that discover they've got something that is meant to be caught when they're children.

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@salvie777]

That par about imposter syndrome w stimming is something that I’ve been struggling with since learning to unmask.. I feel dumb doing it bc all I can think it “you don’t actually need this there are real autistics who actually need this” it rlly messes a my brain and I swear I can feel that pent up highly uncomfortable bored/frantic energy but I do t stim bc I’ve made those neural pathways to avoid it and now when I do it it feels like you said “foreign”! Thank you for this video I didn’t realize just how important stimming is and how it can feel weird and foreign when you start unmasking… love you sm!!! ❤️

[@WilliamMcGrath_Madrid]

(Autistic+ADHD) --- Rocking back and forth as I watch this. I re-discovered rocking not too long ago, after a lifetime of repressing it. I stopped stimming almost totally when I was taught that good little children sit still and don't fidget or squirm or move about, and they certainly don't rock back and forth or sideways.

[@karmarain8870]

After watching a few of your videos, everything you are saying is making sense and helping me to understand myself so much more. I am 41 years old and have never felt normal or that I even had a chance. Communicating with others is a struggle, people never understand what I am saying or often hear what I am saying wrong. I am literally crying right now and have many different mental diagnosises probably from being a misdiagnosed autistic person. I have never been able to control my emotions and it has been a problem with holding jobs as an adult. I don't even know where to go with this now, other than THANK YOU!

[@user-jm6nk4cq6n]

The same happened to me. I realised I'm autistic when reaserching about it for my son. I just wish i can implement these for my self (and my son) and ask for some practical, actual help at home for us. We are moving soon, and there are lots of charities and government help in the area. I'm aldready connecting and sending emails, so i have some help available. I would like to give my son i better quality of life. Thank you for this video, and your amazing channel!❤

[@MDev1997]

Now that I've been unmasking and fully stimming at home, but can't at work, I notice I have an absolute BURST of what my partner and I refer to as "stimmy energy" where I'm just stimming up a storm for the first 30 mins to an hour after I get home from work to get all of the pent-up energy out. Even if I covertly stim at work, it's not quite the same as fully stimming to get all of that energy out

[@JadeAislin]

I hadn't realized I stimmed until my niece got these popping bracelet for the kids she worked with. She gave the extra to the family and I thought it was amusing but would stop playing with it within a week. Instead I found myself taking it everywhere. Even at the phone store while waiting, I started playing with it and realized it could suction to the table. Even when I went in for my autism evaluation, I brought out a popping ball that I used throughout the evaluation.

[@aaloha2902]

Thank you for posting on this subject 🙏🏼 I’m 50 and not diagnosed (yet) and find so many confirmations lately that I’m on the spectrum. As a teenager I used to talk with ‘loud hands’, remember it being ‘corrected’ and the impact it had on my ability to process language. I also remember other attempts to stim being ‘corrected’ and forbidden, it really increased anxiety, the sensory overload that made me feel like scratching my skin off, and fatigue, it decreased executive function. Recently I’m re-learning stimming with my daughter w ADHD. 🙏🏼🌺

[@yogsothoth8389]

I had no idea that visual stimming was a thing. Your video taught me that this is what I do. It was so validating. I love having things that are shiny or sparkly with me, like a phone case covered with bling. I find myself staring at my phone case and moving it around in the light to change the angle of the sparkles. I even have a few apps on my phone that feature lights and colors that you can play with by touching and moving your finger around on the screen. I’ve used them in so many uncomfortable social situations and they’ve saved my freakin’ sanity.

[@bugslutt]

I have rocked back and forth since I was a smaaaall child. When I was 12 or 13, my psychiatrist at the time (who somehow never suspected I had ADHD or was on the spectrum!) told me I needed to “stop doing that or people were going to think something was wrong with me.” For a long time, I internalized that and tried to control myself in public spaces. Even now, as an adult, I am still hyper aware when I stim in public because I’m often approached by strangers who ask me if I’m okay/if something is wrong and I get upset/embarrassed. I’m trying to overcome that because it brings me peace/comfort when I’m in loud or stressful public spaces, but it is always (whether consciously or subconsciously) in the back of my mind to be hyper aware of whether or not I’m stimming in public.

[@piiinkDeluxe]

💔 I'm so sorry they said that to you.

[@bugslutt]

@@piiinkDeluxe I am so sorry for my younger self, too! I wonder how different my relationship to stimming would be if I had had a mental health professional who was supportive/allowed me to be who I was (and properly diagnosed me as a child!! lol)

[@piiinkDeluxe]

@@bugslutt I feel you, I also wonder what would happened if someone had picked on my unusual behavior and i had the proper help i need.

[@bugslutt]

​@@piiinkDeluxe sending you love, my friend! i'm glad we're both here and thankful for all the resources that are available these days! they certainly make navigating this all as an adult feel less isolating

[@piiinkDeluxe]

@@bugslutt thank you 🥰 That is true. The internet makes a lot of things easier and i would probably wouldn't know and still feel alone in a lot of things if it wasn't for the internet. 🙂 Sending love right back at ya. 🤗

[@0blivvy8]

I've always done covert stimming, I just didn't know that's what it was! I like to twirl my hair, pick my nails and cuticles, shake my leg, and play with my jewelry. I danced frequently when I was a kid and was on a competitive dance team. I used to chew gum a lot, and I think that was a stim too! I don't anymore because of TMJ dysfunction from grinding my teeth. My favorite stim is rocking or swaying side to side, which I recently rediscovered, as I'd suppressed it from childhood. I buy fidget toys for my son because he's allowed to bring quiet ones to school, so I like to share them too.

[@ralphisxamida8533]

"Doing something and then to stop or not doing something starting to do it is hard" THIS is soo true.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

so glad im not the only one!

[@MarcieMasters]

OMG.... I'm 41, and this is the first time in my life that I've heard someone articulate what is happening in my brain!!!! Thank you for making these videos. Seriously.

[@lisathacker5313]

Same!!!!

[@NursissisticOfficial]

I have a little piece of satin I carry around with me at all times. It has been my fidget since I was a very small child. I never realized it was my stim until recently.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Oh I love this one! Thanks for sharing.

[@jeannette7154]

I never really thought about stimming too much, but as I'm currently seeking a professional diagnosis, I realized that I actually do. The one thing other than nail biting that I've always done is bouncing my leg. I use to get told to stop all the time and so I don't do it as much anymore, but if I'm by myself, I will do it without even realizing it. On another note, I picked up a Rubik's cube last year and was determined to solve it. I watched some videos and did learn how to solve it. When I realized how much information lies within that cube, it became a special interest. But here is where the special interest and stimming overlap. I now take my cube everywhere and it is like the act of turning it actually calms me down quite a bit. Interestingly enough, one of the best cubers in the world is autistic. His name is Max Park and Netflix did a documentary on him a couple of years ago. 🥰

[@bolinhong2598]

There is a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now

[@JessieCarty]

I don't know if I'll ever go for a formal diagnosis, but I really appreciate having these videos which help me think of ways to allow myself to process "uncomfortable energy" because I don't think I was every really allowed to process it. Thank you!

[@lisarose1420]

I was diagnosed in 2017. In 2013, I was running my hands through a barrel of animal grain feed, and it all came back to me in a flash: I remembered that my childhood was full of this kind, and many other kinds, of stims. In that moment no-one else was on the farm, and nothing was pressing. I very deliberately allowed myself to (gave myself permission to) keep my hands in the barrel for as long as I felt like it. I didn't know why I liked it, but it didn't matter. My intuition told me that it would help me.

[@BellaSwan18]

I didn’t realize until you described it here- that feeling of my skin not fitting, like something shifted and everything feels wrong and I don’t know why. I had no idea what that was for so long.

[@BeeWhistler]

I never stopped stimming. I was too anxious through puberty to not have a stim even though I had no idea what it was about, and as an adult I was already reaching the conclusion that the adults had failed me as a kid and that something was different about me whether they understood it or not. Honestly, learning about Autism/ADHD/executive dysfunction was simple putting a name and profile to what I knew… that in school I had a learning disability on a fundamental level, something that kept me from being able to remember and maintain the other tasks that were less difficult (eg. I could do Algebra but not keep up with assignments). Point being, I came to realize, with the help of outside info, that these things calmed me and helped me focus. I knew some were weirder seeming than others, such as vocal stims, blinking, squinting, and skin picking, so I tried to balance these with a cluster of better public options. So maybe they don’t like me doodling in meetings but they’d be less happy if I made whistling sounds in my throat, so they’ll just have to deal with the doodling. Besides, it’s fun. Tell you what, though, the intolerance is real. I’ve had people tell my kid she can’t draw in class. And I once had a lady reach over and put her hand over mine to stop me stroking my fingers together. Excuse the hell out of her. That’s my go to soothing method, especially in public. I think I avoided sitting near her after that… been a minute since that happened. I stopped returning her emails after I moved away. No respect at all. Anyway, that was a rant. Yeah, so I have so many cool stim options and I’ll need them all… every squeak, every sparkly tube, every spinny time waster, because we’re moving three states away in a few months. I already had one meltdown so far… and I haven’t had a bona fide meltdown in years. Freaking mortgages… Last thing… my daughter wanted one of those gadgets for Christmas and she loves it. Not my thing, though… my hands are not suitable. Big palms, short fingers… tendency toward carpal tunnel problems.

[@pariahmouse7794]

I rub my hands and fingers, it's literally compulsive, I also rub the back of my hands on my mouth, that one I have to watch in public, haha! But I am never NOT rubbing or touching the backs of my hands with my fingers, I have done this ALL my life, I mask like hell but this is the one thing I cannot stop or hide, I would explode if I didn't do it... Good luck to you with your move!

[@nikkireigns]

In second grade, my teacher pulled my hand away from my hair as I nervously twirled it round and round. It really made me feel ashamed and after that I began pulling. I think thinking it was a bad habit actually made it a worse habit, like I was self destructing in a way. Then my parents yelling at me to "STOP twirling your hair!" didn't help 😂

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@brynngarner-prouty]

Not diagnosed, and I'm not sure if I have autism, but I definitely stim. I like to count words and punctuation marks in anything I read. I especially like to count words and anything else in groups of 4. I've always figured that this is a mold form of OCD but I think it might also fit as a form of visual stimming. I also tap my fingers, toes and anything else to various rhythms. Blinking, absolutely, but I've learned to just ignore when I blink so that I'm not constantly counting my blinks! I've learned to tap subtly, and I also notice that I tap more when I'm anxious or upset.

[@JessicaDarling2]

If you don’t mind me asking, I’m interested - do you count one or both of these things as you’re reading, do you read it and go back and count, together or separately, or something else?! 🙂 (OCD+ diagnosed) My Gramma told me as a child to count the stairs in case there was a fire(she lived through some), I’ve counted every staircase I’ve walked up or down ever since. 😅 Love you, Gramma Jubies ✨😇

[@fleckolight]

I'm not sure I have autism - I haven't been diagnosed but I certainly relate to a lot of the symptoms and signs of autism that I am hearing lately. I do recall moments where I have rocked I don't do it anymore but I love rocking chairs and will happily rock for hours during conversations when I get the opportunity to sit on one. I used to pick my scalp in situations where there was a lot of sitting in conversations until my partner told me it didn't look good in social situations! Or pick bits off the rug when sitting on the floor. In class I have to doodle whilst listening. I used to in times of high stress and anxiety seek out the closest park with a swing and swing for stress relief. It feels so good.. I also sing and will get caught repeating a line over and over from a song or jingle from an ad. I'm a mover and a dancer alway dancing perfecting a move doing it over snd over and now I play drum so I am always drumming something with my fingers.

[@sarahleony]

I’ve twirled my hair since before I even had hair (as an infant) and all my life people have asked if I do it when I’m nervous, or happy, or..? And the answer was “I don’t know, it differs” - and these days, that finally makes sense ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

good i'm glad the info was helpful!

[@zulejkajaversek9161]

I also hair twirl but it doesn’t help me focus, it makes me dissociate somewhat… people just think it’s a nasty habit so I stopped… so now I’m left with lip biting …

[@nerfworthy218]

same exact thing here! I've twirled my hair to the point of dreads since I was a little girl. Something now that I've realized is more about the motion and the texture of the hair once it gets "crunchy", if that makes sense. I've always been ashamed of it and outwardly shamed for it by my parents and pretty much anyone who knew me so I would cut off my hair to stop myself from doing it. Recently though, at 32 years of age, I found a site that sells fidget toys, and they had a synthetic bunch of hair clamped to a small hair tie. It's been life-changing for me because it completely replicates the feeling of twirling hair, but without damaging my own hair.

[@frandavis7727]

@@nerfworthy218 I’ve always twirled my hair too. My mum used to get so mad at the tangles and mats in my hair. I’m nearly 60 and not yet diagnosed. I twirl my hair so much that I haven’t had a haircut in over 10 years because my hair breaks so much. I think I need to find or make a fake hair stim toy. I didn’t know they existed lol. As you said, it’s the feel and texture of the hair I like rubbing between my fingers.

[@morgan9005]

This comment just made me realize that I’ve always done this, probably as a stim. As a baby my mom had to hang her head over my crib so I could play with her hair until I fell asleep. My grandma got me a doll that had hair to save my moms neck. And I would smell, chew on, and twist the dolls hair to fall asleep. Now as an adult I’ll pet my dogs ears and twirl the hair and I’ve always found it very calming. I also smell my dog. Wow I’m coming to so many realizations from this as I type more things come to me. Weird how I’ve never put it together but this comment just made things click.

[@elinamakela8435]

"You don't look like you're autistic/ADHD-er, you're so calm!" Yes but I do stim... I tense my leg muscles & abs & back and push my tongue towards my front teeth. All invisible, ta-dah! Does leave me with terrible head aches, stiffness and anxiety. I need to learn how to stim outwards.

[@cyohe8643]

I do the tongue/teeth thing.

[@nerdtubewtf]

same. I flex my quads, since I was a child. Also, no one notices since I'm so short, that I get up and move a LOT for one cuz very few furniture fit me and then also cuz I feel like I have ants in my skin so I NEED to move.

[@JustAutistic]

I’ve been learning more about myself. That stimming isn’t something that’s inherently wrong with me. That.. talking about what’s stressing me out so much, calms me down. I’ve felt that I had something inherently wrong with me.

[@rainbows98]

wiggling/scrunching toes and bouncing your foot or making a figure 8 is such an amazing stim. ive always done it and its one of my fave stims and never felt the need to mask it- honestly, i think its also a really common stim for non autistic people too, at least in my family. i notice i do it when im studying really well, and also when im going to sleep. one of the best!!

[@bryanmerton5153]

Hi Taylor! This was another excellent video! When I was a kid I used to rock back and forth and flap my hands. When I had anxiety I would sit in the lotus position and tap my head against the wall. (My mom put a stop the that one😀). I have always tap my hands on things, of course the banging leg or legs and since I have Tourette’s I have vocal stims. As I got older I learned to suppress some things and I have made others more stubble. As you know I am a very late diagnosed autistic person, but since I was diagnosed with ADHD at twelve I have always been able to get away with stims. After my autism diagnoses I have been much more open about stimming. I always have a fidget spinner in my pocket and I am more free to pop it out when I need to, even at work. I also hand flap more when I am out as I find it very soothing. An interesting consequence after “coming out” stimming was when friends of mine took me to Disneyland to experience the new Galaxy’s Edge land. I love Star Wars and I was over come with joy while waiting in line for the new ride they have there. The line was amazing and I just let go of all of my masking. I was jumping up and down, touching everything, hand flapping you name it. My friends commented afterwords that they had never seen me so happy. I have known them 25 years. I good story for adults who maybe reluctant to stim amongst friends. This was another one of my crazy long responses to your lovely videos. Stimming is my passion and I encourage anyone on the spectrum to rediscover it like you said. As always thank you so much for posting!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing Bryan!! 🥳 hope you’re doing well.

[@LaceyMyriah]

What a beautiful story :) I’m glad your friends got to see you so happy!!

[@bolinhong2598]

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from KZbin here. His herbs work perfectly

[@nataliesirota2611]

This is such a HUGE topic! After only 2 month's diagnosis, I am really stimming now and feeling SO much better!

[@Hackanhacker]

what sti.ming is a solution ? for what ? IT all come as natural as breathing for me! Tell me more if not to indiscret, interesting :P

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@skyjamb]

Amazon has got a lot of stim toys. They really have a very diverse selection of items reasonably priced.

[@Christian-is-thriving]

I was late diagnosed and not allowed to openly stim as a child and young adult. I needed to and had to have it shamed and disciplined out of me. Then during my long marriage to a NT it annoyed her so that further suppressed it. Now I am single and live alone and trying to learn to stim. It helps so much to be able to when and how I need to.

[@Shesofthesea]

When I was younger, I used to make noises with my throat. It was extremely comforting to me but drove everyone nuts. I do it as an adult, but differently, and only when I’m alone. I also love to repeat words to myself in my head. I was recently diagnosed, but still didn’t realized that was a stim.. everyday I learn more, my entire life makes much more sense. Thank you for this video!!

[@luminalsaturn2]

I was diagnosed with autism at age 19. I have since discovered what is basically the OG fidget-spinner: The yarn-spindle! Spinning has helped a lot with my anxiety, and the sensory experience of different fluff-textures is *chef’s kiss*!

[@WPVanHeerden]

I am so grateful for all the relevant information. Diagnosed at 53 y/o, I now realize that a whole lot of what I do is, in fact stimming. Even eating crunchy snacks is more about the sound and the action, than being hungry, or the taste.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Interesting!! So glad you shared this. Haven't seen this one before but makes total sense.

[@Plant-ed]

I’m going to my first psychiatrist appointment tomorrow to discuss the possibility that I’m on the spectrum and I’m terrified of not being heard. My stim is hair twirling or picking at little strings in my clothing and it’s always helped me focus. Thanks so much for your content, it’s really helped me identify aspects of myself that silence that imposter syndrome voice in my head ❤️

[@skeovkp48598]

I'm going on Tuesday with a 3,000 word essay explaining all the reasons why I think I'm autistic. I tried to explain to my GP once before, it must be 10 - 20 years ago (I'm 62), but I didn't relate it to autism, I just knew I wasn't like other people. I did get referred to a psychiatrist, but as I found myself completely unable to articulate what I was trying to say, unsurprisingly it didn't go that well. This time I'm going prepared. How did your appointment go?

[@nikkireigns]

Fellow hair twirler here. How did your appointment go?

[@carolvanessa6054]

Hair twirler here too! How did your appointment go? I'll probably get myself one soon

[@carolvanessa6054]

@@skeovkp48598 I'm probably going to an appointment soon.. now I'm thinking maybe I should write stuff down to show the doctor...

[@skeovkp48598]

@@carolvanessa6054 I think it's a good idea especially if you find it difficult to articulate sometimes (I do, especially if I'm nervous). My doc said it was useful and that he was sending what I'd written with his referral.

[@Forest-cp6fn]

I never realized how much I stim before realizing I have ASD. I still, at 30 years old, twirl my hair, move my hands in different patterns, sway back and forth, and grab whatever is in my pocket to stim. That Ono Roller looks amazing especially because it is quiet. I'm trying to be frugal this month, but it is definitely on my list of fidgets I'd like to buy. If I do I'll be sure to use your code. Your videos are always so helpful to me.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks Forest! And yes the roller is as quiet as a ninja. lol

[@airshipswashbuckler6420]

Looking back over my life I can think of hundreds examples of stimming and the times I’ve hidden it to fit in. I’ve been try to stim consciously when I feel anxious and it’s been helping to regulate.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

FREE THE STIM! :)

[@nightride1985]

As a kid I was bullied incessantly by my peers for the "weird thing you do with your hands", so much so that I trained myself out of it and convinced myself that I was just a freak. Fast forward to my early twenties while seeing a counsellor, I mentioned this and she said "oh, that sounds like stimming," and proceeds to explain exactly what I did as a kid. It was vindicating, but what was interesting is that I never really stopped, I just did other things, like before fidget toys ever existed I would constantly have Monsters In My Pocket figures in my hand, or spinning the little wheels on Hot Wheels cars, purely for the sensation I got from it. And the biggest secret I've ever kept is my private stimming sessions , which are truly GLORIOUS - headphones on, music blasting out, imagining I'm on stage (I'm a guitar player now, figures I guess) l, hands flapping all over the place. GLORIOUS. If ever anyone sees me doing it, they'll know I'm a freak for sure, and I'm totally fine with that now.

[@silviasz4329]

I'm 51, recently diagnosed. I understand now that when I was a kid one way I used to stim without getting attention was chewing hard sweets with my back teeth. Of corse, it gave me a lot of caries. As an adult I started having a lot of bruxism, now I clench my teeth, specially when I'm sleeping, and I think it's related to the chewing stim. I'm trying to find a way to stopping it. Great video! Thank you.

[@emccormack4209]

Thank you for such a clear explanation of why stimming can be helpful, probably for more than just autistic people. I suspect a lot of people would benefit from incorporating some healthy stim activity into their lives to help deal with stress and anxiety. It just gets labeled differently in other communities (fidgeting for ADHD, for example). Your explanation of the struggle of regulating the psychological load of transitioning was also really clear and helpful as well.

[@bolinhong2598]

There is a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now

[@dawn8293]

Once I learned about stimming, I started seeing it in myself. My latest stim is slowly twirling in place. I will do this when I'm anxious or when I'm pleased. It is very good at getting the energy from big emotions OUT of me.

[@Amanda-ev1xz]

Claustrophobic - yes! In my own body. I also have never heard someone perfectly describe the two different energy states between being still and being massively productive!! I’ve never been able to get anyone to understand how impossible it feels to stop ‘once I get started’ to send a text etc!! Thank you!!

[@bolinhong2598]

There is a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now

[@Star_Rattler]

One of my worse stims is skin picking. If I have nothing for my hands and I get understimulated or anxious I'll go absolutely nuts on my skin. And I'm a very pale white person, with very sensitive skin. A single tiny scab will scar visibly for a long while before going away. I have eczema, mostly on my arms, not that severe, looks like a pimple outbreak on my arms. I'd go crazy picking every little bump. If there was any raised skin I was gonna pick/pop it. Any scabs and I'd pick them. It got so bad I didn't want to show my upper arms, and people would comment on it when they saw my skin. Luckily, my friend who also has similar eczema recommended me this special soap, an antiseptic skin cleanser, that helps deal with it. It makes your skin less likely to break out. Using it every time I shower makes my arms almost totally smooth, so when I go to try and pick my arms, there's nothing to pick. So I'll go for the hangnails on my fingers haha;;; I try to carry a nail clipper around so I dont hurt myself using my teeth or trying to peel something.

[@ashfkjhjsdaahlhkjhfgdsfds]

Please can I ask what the soap is you mention? I also have eczema sounding similar to yours and skin pick really badly

[@Star_Rattler]

@@ashfkjhjsdaahlhkjhfgdsfds i use storebrand (cvs) antiseptic skin cleanser and scrub my arms with a glove scrubby :)

[@ellachallas]

A couple of things that might help the skin picking- try taking a low dose of zinc and low dose of iron. You also might want to add in magnesium, before bed. Take an L- Theanine supplement if you drink coffee or highly caffeinated drinks (you don’t need it with green tea). Also, fake nails (acrylics work well) might help, because it changes the sensation in your fingers to the area that you are picking or touching. It kind of interrupts the brain pattern, which will allow you to find an alternative healthier stimming method. Also, to get rid of the little bumps on the arms and legs, try using a scrub with alpha hydroxy acid or something similar.

[@marin1200penn]

What kind of soap or name of it?

[@Star_Rattler]

@marin@1200Penn it's just called antiseptic skin cleanser store brand from cvs but I'm sure u can find it other places

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Identify. Makes me think of what I’ve done over the years in this light that now I can call stimming. Love me a clicky pen. Love air drumming. Used to bite my nails long time ago but getting hit in the mouth in gym stopped that habit. Thanks for helping me realize what was “normal” and really helpful. No wonder I’ve driven others crazy clicking my pen ….. 🤪💞👊

[@MomontheSpectrum]

i also love me a clicky pen! 🖊

[@meganm4877]

Yeah clicky pens! 😀

[@cyohe8643]

Pen clicker here. Didn't realize it was a stim thing till I began to suspect I was on the spectrum.

[@marypatton1122]

I was glad she said singing and talking are stemming. That defines me.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Singing is such a helpful stim!

[@Omneyvdwatering]

This is awesome. I dance, wobble up and down on my toes, caress soft fabrics. Also singing, crochet, play with my hands, loud hands indeed. I have some fidget toys I use at times.

[@winterl4444]

I used to excessively sing all the time at school and the teachers would tell me off really harshly, had no idea it was a stimming behaviour, wow! Thanks for all the information

[@Hackanhacker]

at school ahah

[@taylorseigler]

Duude. There were so many lightbulbs going off in my head during this video. Nail-biting as a child (still do when I get stressed), I had no idea verbal stims were a thing. I have only recently started being aware and ok with stumming to relieve stress, and will totally be watching the results. Thank you!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're welcome! I hope the lightbulbs continue to help you better support and accommodate yourself!

[@Ion_sound]

I became a drummer. The sound and the feeling were incredibly satisfying. I’d practice for hours just because and I could and disappear into the rhythm. Covertly i drum with my mouth, lightly chattering my teeth to a beat. And everything becomes a drum set for tapping. The dashboard, the table, my body.

[@roomclear]

Same thing for me. Amazing to realize that urge was stimming.

[@nnmmss81]

Hell yes! I started a year ago, life changing

[@camellia8625]

You explain this so incredibly well.

[@Mikeyboi699]

I find stimming very helpful when studying. I usually pace about, or chuck my whiteboard upwards and catch it as it drops and toe punting the air. It's made a big improvement in increasing my focus and enjoyment of studying whilst helping me study for longer.

[@bolinhong2598]

I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from KZbin here. His herbs work perfectly

[@allsheeverwanted1991]

I’m in tears and only four minutes in, wow it makes sense why I feel so stuck. I’m also 31 and accidentally found out I was autistic (long story) but I’ve realised I’m struggling with stimming because all my stims were ridiculed by my mother and so as I’m trying to allow myself to stim, I get uncomfortable. I also have realised I’ve been a chronic smoker because it’s the only socially acceptable stim I have (my favourite has always been singing but I can’t sing in front of others). I hope to learn I don’t need to smoke, but I don’t know how to replace it. Back to the video. Thank you for having this channel exist, this is a lonely journey and the validation I’ve felt from your videos is honestly life saving.

[@Hackanhacker]

You rapleace an adi lction with a new habitude or activity When you get that will to take a smoke, find yourself something else to consume which is preferable not adictive but it can work (like sugar for exwmple a drink or whatever ) You can reaplace it with an activity it does work But as cigarette is really adictive its more difficult to handle the "stress" from the lack of it ... To help the trick even more for each thing you want to work on find the alternative that work well and always take that same alternative ... like this your brain will transfert his lack of cigarette with wanting to do the alternative That how Big alchoolics do stop (sugar : cake etc) I hope you can take this advice seriously and you can apply this for every other habitude activity or dependance you want to get rid of or diminish ... Im currently stoping smoking cig. its been two month now its wasnt bad and easy until the 2 month hit ... But I did exaclty that alternative activity/my own solution which is video game or walking (literrelly bringing my brain elsewhere) And i forget it :P Im encouraging you man your are able to take control ;) I hope this advice is an answer (it is for a lot of poeple and myself ) is whats your trying to find (soluce) Hope i was an help :) ;) Even a tiny bit

[@Hackanhacker]

do sing xD I do that a lot and recently im litteraly practicing my vocal cord which can be really anoying if someone else in the same room ahahah Poor neighbor xD

[@keepyourmindopen]

I quit smoking five years ago. That hardest part for me wasn't the lack of nicotine but missing the comfort I got from the hand to mouth/deep inhale "ritual." I think it was stimming for me too. I cut straws down to the length of cigarettes (they had a similar diameter) and stuffed some cotton into one end like a filter so there is a similar resistance to the drag of a cigarette. I kept them around the house and in my car and they were immensely helpful in providing the comfort smoking had done. When you are ready to try, maybe that could help you too?

[@aw2729]

I'm so happy I came across your account. I highly suspect I am autistic, but I don't believe I will ever be able to recieve an assessment for several reasons. So the bare minimum I can do is discuss with my husband my suspicions, however I have tried on multiple occasions and he has been resistant to the idea, I believe because of the societal ideation of what autism looks like and because he has worked with autistic children and what he has seen is where his understanding lies. I'm hopeful that one day I can sit him down and show him some of your videos so he can see that autism is vast and maybe he would be willing to learn with me as I continue my journey of self discovery/acceptance. Thank you for what you do! It is so important that more people come to a better understanding of what ASD really means.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

💓

[@anjawoods1374]

Wow, the concept of being stuck on a thought and stimming to relieve the pressure might be something that could really help me!

[@Akribelasurfacing]

I see how that I stunned a lot as a kid but I was always scolded or teased for doing so. One form of stimming that kept doing as an adult because it feels so cool was to put the fingertips of each hand together and move my fingers in and out. After a few minutes, the sensation changes completely.

[@victoriaoliver9958]

I have ADHD and stim too, although I never knew what it was: As a kid: chewed my hair, hoodie strings, pushed my nails into crayons to make a row of raised crayon shards (can't explain), chewedbthe ends of pens... As an adult: foot tapping, leg swinging while sitting, pacing, rocking back and forth sideways when standing... I just cannot keep my body still! And I always have some kind of ditty 🎶 in my head. When I was dating my future husband, we were walking down a forest path just talking when suddenly I burst out and said, "Do you mind if I just run up that hill really quick?" And did so. He always laughs about that. 😂

[@Hackanhacker]

Same i just learn on this video that My ADHD IS pretty PRETTY active xD But hey! I cant stop moving myself its quite intense the amount of time i do move compared to when my whole body relax And Stimming can be ignored im able to meditate a lot and long session but time to time i cant:P and that stimming include every night too xD Im so use to it tho that it dosnt effect my Sleep at all. and i finally understand where all that food go ahahah

[@cyohe8643]

Do you think that's why I love running? I'm not fast, but I enjoy it.

[@michaeloaks359]

I've been working in aba for about a year, and it's actually what made me realize I'm probably on the spectrum. I remembered a stim I did as a kid about a month ago, and since I started doing it again I feel like a whole new person. Less stressed, a way to deal with my anxiety, and even just something that feels good to do. Even before I started to think I was on the spectrum, it bugged me to have to tell a kid quiet hands when there wasn't a good reason to have them at that time.

[@pleistoceneposer]

Please no, no ABA. It is iliterally trauma for autistic kids. It's just repackaged. It's still just as harmful. The autistic community at large does not support ABA, nor should this creator.

[@pinkpeoniesandbumblebees]

Thank you so much for this post. I’m not even sure how I found your video. This is so eye opening to me!!!! I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD but I’m increasingly convinced I’m dual, on ASD.

[@wolfdreams2000]

Thank you,Tay! I'm currently undiagnosed at 61 and see so much of me in many of your vids, but also have so many questions. And you just answered one-if stimming is subconsciously done, cuz I often catch myself and not realizing I was doing it Thanks for all you do!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're welcome! thank you for your comment

[@bolinhong2598]

There is a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now

[@chrismansfield9549]

I'm 35 , was recently diagnosed with (inattentive) ADHD and have yet to get an official autism diagnosis, but I can say with relative certainty that I'm autistic as well. I do a lot of fairly small stims throughout the day like rubbing my fingers and thumb together on each hand, touching my hair, scratching an itch on my face that isn't there, moving my legs and feet when lying down, rubbing my hands on my thighs when sitting, etc. The one, more significant stim that I can think of is that I used to bang my head against my pillow when I was younger and couldn't get to sleep. When doing this, I'd sort of utter and hold an "uh" sound that would be louder the moment I made contact with the pillow "uhhhhhhUHHHHuhhhhhhhUHHHH". I haven't done it in awhile, but I think I still did it occasionally (though less frequently) when I was in high school. It still seems bizarre to me, but now I think it might be the result of autism and I imagine my ADHD plays a role as well. Anyway, thanks for your videos! It's nice to gain insight into others' experience with autism beyond the clinical terminology.

[@annamyob4624]

ADHD and autism, different presentations of the same thing. Just cuz the professionals give us different labels, is no reason we ourselves can't recognize the kinship. Next year, or next edition of their DSM 'bible', the labels will change anyway.

[@bolinhong2598]

My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect

[@maeva5257]

Thank you for sharing all your research and valuable experience. It's been helpful every single time ❤

[@autidiscovery]

These are so very true! A huge thank you for putting yourself out there and educating the world.

[@bolinhong2598]

There is a herbal recommendations I got about dr Oyalo and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now

[@natalieparker3187]

So interesting. All through school, I would constantly fidget and especially kick my feet. Nobody else did that. If there’s a song or rhythm going, I can’t help but kick my foot along with the beat. I often get overwhelmed and cry at live music, especially if it’s kids singing. I always wondered why. I’m not officially diagnosed, but I’m 100% sure I’m Autistic AF. My current thing is humming and talking to myself and that is not good at work but I can’t seem to control it. It’s good to know it’s actually verbal stimming. Thank you for this video.