The Importance of Stimming in Late Diagnosed Autistic Adults

The art of stimming is important for autistic people, especially late-diagnosed autistic adults who may have trained themselves out of it. In this video we will cover: what is stimming, why do we stim, why is stimming important, and how do I re-learn the art of stimming. I’ll also share my new FAVORITE stim toy that helps me fidget discreetly during meetings and social gatherings. Scroll down for timestamps to jump to a specific section of the video.
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TIMESTAMPS
Click on any of the blue timestamps to jump to that section of the video.
What is stimming? (0:59)
Why do we stim? (1:49)
Why is stimming important? (4:14)
Did I forget how to stim? (5:55)
Why do we stop stimming? (6:30)
Covert stims (7:01)
What happens when we suppress our stims? (8:32)
Self awareness leads to change (10:07)
Imposter syndrome when re-learning stims (11:01)
ABA Therapy and “Quiet Hands” (12:45)
My favorite stim toy! (14:06)
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DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, KZbin Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, KZbin channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
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#actuallyautistic #momonthespectrum #autisticadult

[Summer Mazur]

When I first was diagnosed, I didn't think I stimmed much, other than rocking when tired or really upset. This is because everyone usually talks about motor stims. But I verbal stim all the time when alone or at home, by singing, humming, or making nonsense sounds. I never knew verbal stimming was a thing until a few years ago. It's just not talked about for some reason! Now that I work from home, I can verbal stim whenever I want, and it's great! 😂

[Snowbird5779]

Same! I sing or talk to myself a lot, esp the same songs I taught myself in high school

[Siobhan Mulvey]

🙌🏼🙌🏼

[HackanHackerGames]

Pretty much the same xD These time I practicing a lot singing playing with my vocal cord a lot ... its damn fun xD And do help remove my repeated random sound and noise :P (but my goal isnt to stop) My energy is more focus on that task

[c yohe]

Oh my gosh...this is a thing?! I have done this all my life! The more I learn, the more I believe I'm definitely on the spectrum! I sing, talk to myself, & sometimes make sounds.

[CubanMelanin]

Yup I’ll sometimes sing out of nowhere while talking almost like a musical too 🤣 I notice it’s only with my kids husband and my brother 🤣 very easy to slip at home because I’m comfortable and not masking as much 😅

[Coherent Heart]

I love stimming so much that I found a way to get paid to do it. I “massage” people but really all I’m doing is stimming all over them.

[Coherent Heart]

And better yet, I tell them they need to be quiet because I can’t concentrate on them well enough when I talk and work. So they shut it and usually fall asleep because I’m so amazing at stimming on people.

[Mom on the Spectrum]

@Coherent Heart this is a super cool approach! turning your sensory needs into a career. i like it

[Jordan Dean]

Brilliant!

[c yohe]

Wow, cool

[Asælfr]

And here I thought I was the only one!

[Evelyn M.]

It’s so mind blowing to me…as women we seem to fly under the radar when it comes to autism. I am 30 years old and I realized all of the sudden my whole life made sense under the context of autism. I was so confused and fell into depression which I sought therapy for and now I know why. Stimming is essential. This energy that we have is for creating things. It’s a gift. I am going to see a psychologist that specializes in autism in June to get the formal diagnosis. 🌈💖💃🏼👽

[Elaine]

Imagine being 53 and realizing same. I thought my ADHD diagnosis was earth shaking but it's nothing compared to this.

[MusicaAlly]

Swimming is essential, self talk is essential- So true, that is the mantra used by many people who are undiagnosed but found their own coping ways. Getting diagnosed completes the missing puzzle. Suddenly your life makes sense as to why others in a social group always behaved the same ways (smart and detached) whereas we need written social rules.

[Autistic Doing and Thinking]

That sort of thing happens a lot because some diagnoses look different between men and women. Heart attacks are particularly problematic for women because the symptoms don't match up very well with the ones that men get. ADHD also tends to look different in girls than boys, and much of the popular references to autism are very malecentric behaviors taken way too far.

[RedSnt]

I don't know if women are overrepresented when it comes to getting diagnosed, but I can tell from personal experience that some parents just don't want to accept that their kids are different. My boomer parents sure didn't. Imagine letting pride ruin your kids life. Well, it's not ruined, but I could've probably done better in life had I been diagnosed 20-30 years ago, then again, times has changed a lot. ADHD as an example was barely known about when I grew up in the 90s.

[Callie]

While you were talking about covert stimming I remembered that I have always scrunched my toes inside my shoes when I’ve felt anxious in social situations and then you said “scrunching your toes in your shoes.” 😂 I’m 49 and was diagnosed last year. Your videos make me feel less alone. Thank you

[Spirited Dragonfly]

Hi Callie? I am 47 and am just finding out I am on the spectrum. I think I might have to get one of these rollers. I live alone with no family left and I get very stuck all the time. If you ever want to chat, I am on Instagram with the same name as here. I don't know anyone else yet that is on the spectrum. So, if you feel like it, reach out! Have a wonderful day!!

[Sarah Kay]

Me too ladies ,& thanks to all of you I’m feeling significantly less weird today! I’m 42, also newly diagnosed, singing toe scruncher for life!..🥲🤗😂

[Shiny Kettle]

I was always Singing, whistling, fidgeting with things or fingers, popping my ankles, jaws, and knee caps but I never knew that was stimming and I haven’t been diagnosed. Seems like I would quit one stim but then find or develop a new one. I think it’s because I would try to be normal so I always had to learn to stop but then a new one would show up . 😢

[Marvin McBride]

With whom do you speak (doctor or clinician type) to get diagnosed?

[Maiah]

I think I didn’t stim as a kid which caused me to develop trichotillomania, skin picking, scalp picking, nail biting, lip chewing. It makes sense now since my diagnosis knowing it’s how my body is trying to release energy.

[Neurodivergent Liv]

I'm exactly the same! Trying to figure out replacement stims is REALLY tough. It makes sense with my late diagnosis, but I'm not sure how to stim in other ways after so long.

[Eugenia Hogan]

Holy shit, this just hit me right between the eyes. I'm fighting for ASD/ADHD evaluation at 34. I was evaluated for ADHD as a child but was already termed "gifted," and this was before the DSM criteria got changed to reflect female symptoms. High school and college were nightmarish, I've been diagnosed high anxiety and major depressive disorder, along w the impulse control disorder "skin excoriation," aka trichotillomania.

[Maiah]

@Eugenia Hogan oh wow I hope you can get an evaluation soon! I just got diagnosed adhd and asd last year at 20 years old. I’m sorry you got “skipped” as a kid. I kinda did too though it was more to do with being homeschooled lol. My mom was just able to adjust things to me. But now, trying college again seems terrifying. Also, I think I worded my comment wrong 😂 trichotillomania is hair pulling and dermatillomania is skin picking. I know it was helpful for me to have the right words for it so I can find more information about it. Sorry for my rambles but I hope this maybe helped. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. 😊

[Invisible • 1000 years ago]

Omgg yes I’ve had trichotillomania and dermotillomania and nail biting for so many years (since a very young child) I’ve had to shave my head multiple times so that I wouldn’t damage my scalp, was diagnosed with ADHD at age 10 but was just recently diagnosed with Autism too

[Maiah]

@Invisible • 1000 years ago I’ve had to shave my hair so many times too. It’s been a buzz cut for so many years. It sucks and I miss my long hair. But I’m hoping that as I learn more about how I can lessen my anxiety and overwhelm it will get better! I’ve also had a hard time letting myself stim or trying stims when I feel like pulling. Thanks for sharing! It’s nice to know how similar others experience is to mine

[passaggioalivello]

Thank you. I had to repress my stimming because it was unacceptable at home and an excuse to bully me even more at school, worsening my depression. Nowadays the imposter syndrome is a thing because I'm learning again how to stim.

[Mom on the Spectrum]

I experience the imposter syndrome too. But usually after I stim I feel better and happier so I'm trying to focus on that. Hope you're doing ok, pass!

[The Age of Goddess (my name is Aset Ra)]

I can relate.

[Teresa Bailey]

I am 65, and am waiting on the results of my testing, so I am not sure if I am on the spectrum, as of yet. My hand flapping was also suppressed, as a child. My parents and older siblings said it made me look like a baby. So I quit it. Only to pick up another less obvious form later. Twirling my hair. Chewing nails. Picking at my nails. Eventually, I picked up smoking, and after about 40 years, switched to vaping. Now I find myself always holding my vape device, or whatever else is in my pockets. I often rub my thumb on the surface of the vape, as I think. I have picked up so many different forms of stimming, and also suppressed all of them, because now I am aware of the movement. I even pace. At home I dance. I was NOT aware that I scrunch my toes. But, now I am! 😭

[passaggioalivello]

@Teresa Bailey Hi, I'm so sorry even you had your stimming repressed. But I'm happy you can now recognize yourself to stim.

[Lisa Wanderess]

When I was a kid I was totally obsessed with those little toys that had multiple parts held together with elastic and when you pressed the button under the base the toy (usually some kind of animal) would collapse and then stand back up when you released the button. I would do this over and over as I found it endlessly fascinating! Kinda like clicking a pen but way more visually appealing

[Jim Williams]

I loved those! With a deft hand you could sort of make them dance. I wish I still had one. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[Cris Banta]

I kept my son's, after he grew out of it. It's a red pony, and seeing it on the shelf in my room, the other night, I realized why I loved them so much...stimming! So much is stimming! At 65, this is all just fascinating and exciting to find out. Just realizing my own autism in the past four months, researching my son's. What a wonderful relief, it is. Thanks for your videos, Taylor, you have been one of my main go-to's, in this process.

[Sarah Spencer]

Yessss. Those were fabulous.

[Solitude]

Oh I loved those!

[Licia Morris]

My kittens decided my stim (tapping) was their "come to me" call. I find it hilarious and very comforting, because I don't even notice when I'm tapping until I get interrupted. They help me see how frequently I tap, so I can measure how stressed (ie interrupted/overwhelmed/stuck) I am feeling so I know to engage in more self-care (ie reflex integration therapy/flow massage/yoga) or ask for executive functioning help. I stim most often when my hips hurt from holding still in any position and kitty purrs help SO much with the deep pain.

[NeuroVerse]

Maybe you're kittens are coming to intentionally help you be i they sense your overwhelmed/stressed :) they're real ones my friend!

[J Wildberry]

I agree with neuroverse. Animals can sense/read your energy since that's their main language. I'm not a cat owner, but don't they have similar behaviors when stressed? Tail flicking and such? It seems likely that your cats recognizes your stress-stimming and comes to soothe you. Many dogs are self-taught therapy animals and alert owners who have epilepsy, narcolepsy, diabetes, panic attacks, etc. It's more common in dogs, or at least better documented, but I have no doubt many cats do the same thing without their owners realizing it. And remember, stroking a pet and looking into their eyes releases the "love hormone" oxytocin in both of you, which lowers stress. It also reduces pain, like you mention, so take full advantage of your cats' love when they offer their help!

[Alycia Marie]

I never realized how much my husband and I move our toes until we realized our Pomeranian was standing super closer to our feet ( as we sleep) and basically getting a chest massage!!!! How funny!!! He does it every night/morning

[Amanda Tarver]

I was diagnosed a little over a year ago at the age of 36. For people who don't think it is worth it to get a late diagnosis (I used to be one of those people, so no shade), it is actually quite a game changer. It was something I had known for a while, but having the validation of a doctor agree was huge. In an odd way, it has also given me permission to lean into my autism. I have had to mask since I was very little and I am actively working on discovering all of the ways in which I mask and figuring out when masking serves my best interests and when I can start to remove those behaviors. I have also realized that there are things that I have always done that I now recognize as stimming (dancing, singing, repetitive movements, nail biting, hair pulling...). I tried one of the pop toys recently and was shocked at how good it feels. I'm going to give the rollers a try, so thanks for the recommendation!

[Juiice]

This is really reassuring. I think it’s exactly what I’m seeking. I’m trying really hard to lean into my AuDHD (Autism & ADHD) and ‘allow’ myself to do what I need but I feel that a diagnosis would give me the external permission that I seek. I get serious impostor syndrome. That said I believe wholeheartedly that self identification is fully valid and should be encouraged. Happy that it made a big difference for you 😊

[wanderingintime]

I dont have the money to do that.. I have quite a few associated problems and was hoping that the doctor would have resources or information about therapy modalities available for autistic adults who are not able to subdue anxieties to work around other people/not be overwhelmed/confused easily. do they offer more like they might for teens and younger? or just tell you that you do in fact have it?

[wanderingintime]

Escobar🇺🇸Pablo thank you

[Heli Hämäläinen]

I live in Finland and I’m so glad that I found your KZbin-channel 👍🏻 Your videos have explained a lot about ASD and ADHD. I haven’t been diagnosed yet but trying very hard to get it soon. I have realised that when I stand I constantly move weight from one foot to another. And I also twist my torso, stretch and sometimes go down to sit in a deep squat. When I am working I’m allways standing. At home I have made a standing desk and every where I go I build up a special desk for me so that I can stand and do my wobbling - stimming. At home I usually stand so that I have to balance pillows under my feet. Or I am massaging my foot with a golf ball / tennis ball / massage ball. Luckily here in Finland at schools and work places it is allmost normal to have breaks when to move or STIM 😂 I have said to my friends that Finland is the Autistic Wonderland because our culture it is NORMAL that you don’t like small talk, you want to be laine and look at the water on your thoughts, or you want to live in the middle of a forest and the closest neighbour is 10 km away, or when you see a friend after one Year you just keep on talking with him/her where the story ended last time, and so on …. Welcome to FINLAND All Autistic friends ❤

[Annie Stumpy]

Hello, I enjoyed living in Finland a lot because unlike most other countries the tone is set by the introverted and not by the extroverted. This made my stay (it was for work) there a lot more bearable than most other places, I didn't know I am autistic yet at this time but now everything makes even more sense. Greetings from Germany!

[Pouquiloury]

❤💚💙

[Tearstone Actual]

Finland sounds like my freaking dreamland.

[🦇]

gosh...... yeah, every time i'm back in finland i just feel at Home, partially because i was literally born there but also it's just... very nice. and i miss it so much. my family moved to another country when i was very young so i didn't really get a chance to really grow up there sadly :(

[Raffiné _]

It does sound like a wonderland for autistic people!

[Tabula Rasa]

I didn't know echolalia and singing counted as stims. I sing as a measure of my personal wellness - if I don't feel like it I'm getting into dangerous territory mental health-wise. I've also just always copied sounds around me, especially when happy or particularly stressed 🤷🏾‍♀️ Thanks for helping me understand why ❤

[Jayne Burns-Milostic]

I just subscribed. I am a 56 year old undiagnosed Aspie. Only realised at age 50 when researching my then 4 year old. I read an article about 19 traits of girls and women on the spectrum and cried throughout as each trait they expanded in I related to. It explained my whole life and was such a relief and made me immediately more understanding of and kinder to myself. We were unable to get a diagnosis for her at that time as she is super high functioning like me. She is now 11 and really noticing the ways in which she processes is different to her friends. She has asked that we pursue a diagnosis for her this year. Thank you beautiful. Looking forward to binging some of your content. 🙏🏻♥️

[Whitney Mason]

I definitely am a recovering nail biter! Once I got my diagnosis I became more aware of my stims, especially the more self destructive ones, and have been redirecting them to more positive stims! Great topic! 💞

[Mom on the Spectrum]

I keep nail clippers in my purse now so that anytime something isn't even (which drives me nuts) i can quickly trim it to avoid constant picking

[Joyce Brewer]

I bite my nails too, have done since a kindergartener. Long since grown up. Discovered my autism in my late 50's. As a young child, I remember sitting with my back against a wall, pressing into it as I rocked side to side. I thought of it then as a substitute for a hug. Later, I went to chewing gum a lot more than other kids my age. And when I got older, I would keep a quarter in my pocket or purse, and repeatedly turn it over in my hand, or run a fingertip around the edge when I felt nervous. It helped.

[lorrygoth]

I managed to stop biting my nails and developed a facial tick that has gone away now that I stim intentionally.

[Jeannette]

I use to bite my nails all the time and about 10 years ago. I realized that any time I would find myself biting, I would go trim my nails with a clipper. That curbed the behavior to the point that I've almost stopped completely. I still practice this and have found my nails to be much healthier and the beds have actually grown back as well.

[Echo C]

I just painted my nails in an attempt to stop (hasn't worked in past but who knows). My previous record was 2 months without nail biting...then it just started up again. I hope this works. I think I'll have to combine nail polish with switching to a different stim when I notice myself starting so it hopefully just moves to a different stim.

[PEARL Pediatric Therapy, PLLC]

Nail biting, hip popping, rolling my ankles, toe scrunching, squeezing between my thumb and pointer finger and holding pressure there, hair brushing, dancing, big movements during praise and worship (combines singing and movement in a safe place). Great video, Taylor!

[indigo bunting]

I hate doing these stims, but I do them, especially. nailbiting.

[Rach S]

I've always assumed that I was on the spectrum and I finally received my diagnosis last year at 35. I'm a high masker so most of my stems are more discreet but have always had restless legs, and looking back I had a LOT of really obvious stims in childhood that I stopped doing to fit in to society. Never realised singing was a stim! That's definitely one of mine!!!

[Blue Heron Sebago]

I danced while sitting at my desk. One job I had no one saw the dancing because I was hidden by the cube...it was a relief. Wishing you well.

[Maggie Blackbird]

I used to really enjoy hand flapping but my mom made me quit “because I looked crazy”. Same with rocking. So I picked my skin, bit my nails, and scrunched my toes. In the past few years I’ve been letting myself stim more after watching videos and reading about autism. Mostly because my husband is on the spectrum. Now I realize why we clicked so well was I have ADHD (diagnosed) and maybe autism. My mental health has improved so much now that I no longer repress my urges to stim. I’m so glad that autism and stimming are no longer stigmatized and are being accepted by so many people. I don’t feel ashamed anymore.

[CutsByElvis]

I unintentionally turned cutting hair into a stim for myself and ended up building a whole career off of it 😂

[Lady Datura]

That's amazing!! Talk about doing something you love 😊 or in this case, something that releases energy and tension and sooth 🖤

[Jeffery Alpha]

Awesome. Our twins seem very musical. It seems to really help them. Maybe they will be professional musicians, or at least have a really cool hobby.

[Not your usual guy]

I am just so relieved, to read, that someone else has a "hair stim", it was me who sat down at friends places, detangling the hair of all the dolls and making cute hairdos. I was in the zone every time. Just last weekend, I cut the hair of my sisters oldest kid, and we got to talking, how I learned to cut hair, so I got to tell them, that I cut all my dolls hair when I was around 3 or 4, because I thought, the hair would grow back. So my sister coined the slogan, I want to have on a t shirt now. I am not a hair stylist, I am just stimming :)

[CutsByElvis]

@Not your usual guy I promise you I will buy that shirt if you make it.

[TheCommonS3Nse]

The thing about stopping and starting is so true. I get completely thrown off when I am in the middle of something and it gets interrupted. I actually find it far easier to do things on my own, because then there are no interruptions. I would rather figure out how to do a multi person task on my own, because I know there won’t be any breaks in what I’m doing. I can just keep going and I’m happy. If there is someone else working with me I get frustrated because either they want to take a break, or they want to chat, or I have to stop what I’m doing to explain something to them.

[Living Inthenow]

I stumbled onto a very covert stim that can easily be done in public. At least I'd call it a stim because it is a behavior that really helps me regulate my emotions. I crochet. I do it at home whenever I need to, but also in public. One of the most stressful places for me has always been waiting rooms (especially if they have a tv blasting something stupid at volume 11). Nowadays, I pop my earplugs in and dig out my crocheting. While I'm focusing on the stitches I'm doing, I can feel my anxiety I'm experiencing in that space start to recede. As an added bonus, I can go to my 'happy place' and I don't have to interact with anyone around me. The trick is to try not to hyper focus and miss my name when it's called! 🤣

[Mom on the Spectrum]

Yes I crochet too and I totally agree!! It’s one of my favorite stims!

[C C]

I love knitting and crochet. The last couple of years, I've learned to spin wool, too. Spinning requires a lot of focus to learn, because you have to synchronise all the movements, but once you have the technique then you learn how to get out of your own way in order to be more productive. I also enjoy the knitting mills. You can make thinner threads into thicker yarns simply by turning the handle (for hours if you like).

[nova]

Crocheting is one of the only things (apart from brown noise) that makes my brain be quiet. It’s almost like my brain is purring when I do it.

[❤️Love❤️]

Me tooooo!

[Xandra R]

Same!

[PartTimeSaint]

Self-compassion has been something I didn't even know existed until I was around 28 years old. I burned out mentally after many years of hard work and I'm in recovery. Self-compassion is really important and I'm struggling to force myself to take better care of myself and put myself first.

[Mom on the Spectrum]

I would gently encourage you that whenever I use the word “force”, it usually adds more stress. I like to replace the word “force” with “allow.” Sending you lots of love and peace.

[Alex S]

I actually did it backwards: "rediscovering" stimming was a big part of what helped me figure out I am Autistic. I have done a ton of somatic trauma work and the more I released old trauma-related tension from my body, the more I noticed my body wanted to move on its own. I figured I better let my body do what it wanted if it was going to stay relaxed after years of intense tension. I was doing things like rocking for several years, thinking the word "Autism" could never have anything to do with me before I came across information that led me to realize that I am on the spectrum. I now believe that the extreme tension I used to carry was not only a product of trauma, but also of holding the energy of stimming inside for so many years. This isn't an effect I have heard/read discussed anywhere else; usually the focus is on psychological distress (which of course is very important) of inhibiting stimming.

[Plant-ed]

I’m going to my first psychiatrist appointment tomorrow to discuss the possibility that I’m on the spectrum and I’m terrified of not being heard. My stim is hair twirling or picking at little strings in my clothing and it’s always helped me focus. Thanks so much for your content, it’s really helped me identify aspects of myself that silence that imposter syndrome voice in my head ❤️

[Liz Minton]

I'm going on Tuesday with a 3,000 word essay explaining all the reasons why I think I'm autistic. I tried to explain to my GP once before, it must be 10 - 20 years ago (I'm 62), but I didn't relate it to autism, I just knew I wasn't like other people. I did get referred to a psychiatrist, but as I found myself completely unable to articulate what I was trying to say, unsurprisingly it didn't go that well. This time I'm going prepared. How did your appointment go?

[Nikki Reigns]

Fellow hair twirler here. How did your appointment go?

[CatHwa]

Hair twirler here too! How did your appointment go? I'll probably get myself one soon

[CatHwa]

@Liz Minton I'm probably going to an appointment soon.. now I'm thinking maybe I should write stuff down to show the doctor...

[Liz Minton]

@CatHwa I think it's a good idea especially if you find it difficult to articulate sometimes (I do, especially if I'm nervous). My doc said it was useful and that he was sending what I'd written with his referral.

[Jennifer Mann]

You’ll probably never see this, but I’m in tears right now of joy because I’ve been bothered for so long about seeing myself in videos interacting with my children and wondering why my blink rate is so incredibly fast I’ve been very interested in body language analysis over the last year or two and they say that that is an indication of deception and that’s why it bothered me so much for so long but now I realize it’s just a huge Stimming thing that I do and I’m so grateful that you just mentioned that and pointed it out today. I feel so much better knowing what it is. Thank you so much😢

[MiaraAvalin]

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago, both ASD and ADHD, I turn 40 this year. Listening to this I realise so many stims I did as a child and still do to now show the need to others. I will definetly think about this and see what I can do to help myself to get unstuck and not as overwhelmed. Thank you for putting this into words.

[Annie Sarkissian Munro]

I have rocked back and forth since I was a smaaaall child. When I was 12 or 13, my psychiatrist at the time (who somehow never suspected I had ADHD or was on the spectrum!) told me I needed to “stop doing that or people were going to think something was wrong with me.” For a long time, I internalized that and tried to control myself in public spaces. Even now, as an adult, I am still hyper aware when I stim in public because I’m often approached by strangers who ask me if I’m okay/if something is wrong and I get upset/embarrassed. I’m trying to overcome that because it brings me peace/comfort when I’m in loud or stressful public spaces, but it is always (whether consciously or subconsciously) in the back of my mind to be hyper aware of whether or not I’m stimming in public.

[piiinkDeluxe]

💔 I'm so sorry they said that to you.

[Annie Sarkissian Munro]

@piiinkDeluxe I am so sorry for my younger self, too! I wonder how different my relationship to stimming would be if I had had a mental health professional who was supportive/allowed me to be who I was (and properly diagnosed me as a child!! lol)

[piiinkDeluxe]

@Annie Sarkissian Munro I feel you, I also wonder what would happened if someone had picked on my unusual behavior and i had the proper help i need.

[Annie Sarkissian Munro]

​@piiinkDeluxe sending you love, my friend! i'm glad we're both here and thankful for all the resources that are available these days! they certainly make navigating this all as an adult feel less isolating

[piiinkDeluxe]

@Annie Sarkissian Munro thank you 🥰 That is true. The internet makes a lot of things easier and i would probably wouldn't know and still feel alone in a lot of things if it wasn't for the internet. 🙂 Sending love right back at ya. 🤗

[Natalie Sirota]

This is such a HUGE topic! After only 2 month's diagnosis, I am really stimming now and feeling SO much better!

[HackanHackerGames]

what sti.ming is a solution ? for what ? IT all come as natural as breathing for me! Tell me more if not to indiscret, interesting :P

[burnsomatic]

Was just diagnosed with ADHD this year, shortly before turning 42. I don't think I would meet criteria for Autism, but definitely relate to a lot of the feelings you talk about in this video. I know there is some crossover when it comes to symptoms, and stimming can be so great for ADHD, too. I have, for basically as long as I can remember, been picking the skin around my fingernails, which I'm just recently learning can be a type of stim, so I've been looking for a stim toy, but struggle to find something as satisfying as the skin picking; maybe this ono will be a good option. I also rub my hands together a lot, have had people ask me if I'm cold many times, lol, and I do this thing where I like rapidly tap my thighs with my fingertips, which is akin to hand flapping, but I sort of lightly slap my thighs with the flapping motion, if that makes sense. I mostly just want to get away from the skin picking, since it's actually harmful at times.

[EvelineUK]

This is so interesting. I am not diagnosed, but am looking into getting ADHD diagnosis as the more I learn about that the more it seems to fit. I was always told to 'sit still',(although I was never literally running around, just fidgeting) and as you mentioned scrunching your toes I realised I was doing that, whilst biting the inside of my cheek, and drawing... A while ago blind KZbinr Molly Burke mentioned that she needs fidget toys too just because her brain needs that outlet as she is missing the visual part. Not something I would ever have thought of, but it makes perfect sense.

[Sarah Leony]

I’ve twirled my hair since before I even had hair (as an infant) and all my life people have asked if I do it when I’m nervous, or happy, or..? And the answer was “I don’t know, it differs” - and these days, that finally makes sense ❤

[Mom on the Spectrum]

good i'm glad the info was helpful!

[Zulejka Javeršek]

I also hair twirl but it doesn’t help me focus, it makes me dissociate somewhat… people just think it’s a nasty habit so I stopped… so now I’m left with lip biting …

[Krystal]

same exact thing here! I've twirled my hair to the point of dreads since I was a little girl. Something now that I've realized is more about the motion and the texture of the hair once it gets "crunchy", if that makes sense. I've always been ashamed of it and outwardly shamed for it by my parents and pretty much anyone who knew me so I would cut off my hair to stop myself from doing it. Recently though, at 32 years of age, I found a site that sells fidget toys, and they had a synthetic bunch of hair clamped to a small hair tie. It's been life-changing for me because it completely replicates the feeling of twirling hair, but without damaging my own hair.

[Fran Davis]

@Krystal I’ve always twirled my hair too. My mum used to get so mad at the tangles and mats in my hair. I’m nearly 60 and not yet diagnosed. I twirl my hair so much that I haven’t had a haircut in over 10 years because my hair breaks so much. I think I need to find or make a fake hair stim toy. I didn’t know they existed lol. As you said, it’s the feel and texture of the hair I like rubbing between my fingers.

[wolfdreams2000]

Thank you,Tay! I'm currently undiagnosed at 61 and see so much of me in many of your vids, but also have so many questions. And you just answered one-if stimming is subconsciously done, cuz I often catch myself and not realizing I was doing it Thanks for all you do!

[Mom on the Spectrum]

you're welcome! thank you for your comment

[Hextral]

I just wanna say thank you for this! I was diagnosed late at 23 last month, and I don't know about any of this stuff, so it's very confusing to sort it all out. Thank you for helping the rest of us that don't know where to start.

[Bee Whistler]

I never stopped stimming. I was too anxious through puberty to not have a stim even though I had no idea what it was about, and as an adult I was already reaching the conclusion that the adults had failed me as a kid and that something was different about me whether they understood it or not. Honestly, learning about Autism/ADHD/executive dysfunction was simple putting a name and profile to what I knew… that in school I had a learning disability on a fundamental level, something that kept me from being able to remember and maintain the other tasks that were less difficult (eg. I could do Algebra but not keep up with assignments). Point being, I came to realize, with the help of outside info, that these things calmed me and helped me focus. I knew some were weirder seeming than others, such as vocal stims, blinking, squinting, and skin picking, so I tried to balance these with a cluster of better public options. So maybe they don’t like me doodling in meetings but they’d be less happy if I made whistling sounds in my throat, so they’ll just have to deal with the doodling. Besides, it’s fun. Tell you what, though, the intolerance is real. I’ve had people tell my kid she can’t draw in class. And I once had a lady reach over and put her hand over mine to stop me stroking my fingers together. Excuse the hell out of her. That’s my go to soothing method, especially in public. I think I avoided sitting near her after that… been a minute since that happened. I stopped returning her emails after I moved away. No respect at all. Anyway, that was a rant. Yeah, so I have so many cool stim options and I’ll need them all… every squeak, every sparkly tube, every spinny time waster, because we’re moving three states away in a few months. I already had one meltdown so far… and I haven’t had a bona fide meltdown in years. Freaking mortgages… Last thing… my daughter wanted one of those gadgets for Christmas and she loves it. Not my thing, though… my hands are not suitable. Big palms, short fingers… tendency toward carpal tunnel problems.

[pariah mouse]

I rub my hands and fingers, it's literally compulsive, I also rub the back of my hands on my mouth, that one I have to watch in public, haha! But I am never NOT rubbing or touching the backs of my hands with my fingers, I have done this ALL my life, I mask like hell but this is the one thing I cannot stop or hide, I would explode if I didn't do it... Good luck to you with your move!

[Nikki Reigns]

In second grade, my teacher pulled my hand away from my hair as I nervously twirled it round and round. It really made me feel ashamed and after that I began pulling. I think thinking it was a bad habit actually made it a worse habit, like I was self destructing in a way. Then my parents yelling at me to "STOP twirling your hair!" didn't help 😂

[E McCormack]

Thank you for such a clear explanation of why stimming can be helpful, probably for more than just autistic people. I suspect a lot of people would benefit from incorporating some healthy stim activity into their lives to help deal with stress and anxiety. It just gets labeled differently in other communities (fidgeting for ADHD, for example). Your explanation of the struggle of regulating the psychological load of transitioning was also really clear and helpful as well.

[pearidescent]

I’m sitting here with one of my cats in my lap, and I’m just now realizing that I pet my cats as a form of stimming. The soft fur is satisfying and comforting (and it’s a win-win because they like it too! Lol)

[HackanHackerGames]

Doing something isnt necessarly stimming ....

[G Rain]

@HackanHackerGames that's true but for me, if I wasn't petting my cat I would be rubbing my feet together while I read or watch literally anything, and if I suppressed things like that, I would be doing harmful behaviors like skin picking or chewing my tongue kind of stuff I stopped petting my cat to type this and ended up rubbing my toes together without realizing it 😅

[HackanHackerGames]

@G Rain Ahah I seee :P The little cat is important then ;)

[HackanHackerGames]

@NEW HOPE INSURANCE LTD IS THIS A BOT LOOOL Report pls xD look like a scam

[Claudia Bothner]

Kris: Pets don't like our sick behaviours, no. They endure it because they sense we need it. They want to help and see it as their jobs. They sacrifice themselves for us, and often get our diseases, which animals don't normally get naturally. It is awful to see how my Aspergers niece treats her poor cat compulsively stimming. Fortunately she has fnally started eltting the cat out on her own to be free and be a cat. her nervousness has lessened since. Syhe and her Malignant Narcissist-disorder husband abused his cat and her kittens to death before, I was so cross with them for not respecting the prohibition for them by the animal protection authority to keep pets again.- But maybe you are not bad to your cat, please disreagrd this if so. Be well.

[Chris Mansfield]

I'm 35 , was recently diagnosed with (inattentive) ADHD and have yet to get an official autism diagnosis, but I can say with relative certainty that I'm autistic as well. I do a lot of fairly small stims throughout the day like rubbing my fingers and thumb together on each hand, touching my hair, scratching an itch on my face that isn't there, moving my legs and feet when lying down, rubbing my hands on my thighs when sitting, etc. The one, more significant stim that I can think of is that I used to bang my head against my pillow when I was younger and couldn't get to sleep. When doing this, I'd sort of utter and hold an "uh" sound that would be louder the moment I made contact with the pillow "uhhhhhhUHHHHuhhhhhhhUHHHH". I haven't done it in awhile, but I think I still did it occasionally (though less frequently) when I was in high school. It still seems bizarre to me, but now I think it might be the result of autism and I imagine my ADHD plays a role as well. Anyway, thanks for your videos! It's nice to gain insight into others' experience with autism beyond the clinical terminology.

[Anna Myob]

ADHD and autism, different presentations of the same thing. Just cuz the professionals give us different labels, is no reason we ourselves can't recognize the kinship. Next year, or next edition of their DSM 'bible', the labels will change anyway.

[Rushia Skinner Wallace]

Everything from 2:00 - 3:40 describes how I’ve always experienced my life and I could never work out why everyone else, who I assumed was trying to manage a ton of energy and feelings like me, didn’t seem to be struggling with it as much as I was. Again, this whole video, Taylor. You’re fantastic at educating. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[Mom on the Spectrum]

Aww thank you Rushia. 💞

[Alisa]

I just wanted to thank SO much for this video. I have been having imposter syndrome for a few months at this point around my late diagnosis. My parents were a lot less receptive than I thought they would be and that process has been a struggle- so getting so much pushback has really had a bad effect. But this video is so validating! Just you talking about how I’ve been feeling is such a huge help. Thank you for this!! And thank you for the permission to try and make myself feel better w/ stims!

[Mom on the Spectrum]

of course! I also have an imposter syndrome video that might be helpful to you. you're not alone! kzbin.info/www/bejne/jGfNfIuFaa6na6c

[Kristi Montgomery]

I'll be 55 this year. My oldest child's (who is almost 22) therapist recently suggested they be assessed for autism. So I started looking online and reading more about autistic traits in women, to learn more about it while doing my best to help my kiddo. And while I'm finding SO many traits that relate to my kid, I'm also finding SO many traits that fit the bill for me, too, from when I was a kid and now. Like this stimming. For years and years, I've way too often found myself scrunching my toes open and closed in a rhythm, or tensing my alternating knee and hip joints in a rhythm, or grinding my teeth from side to side in a rhythm. Always in a rhythm. I'll catch myself doing it, and then I'll stop, and two minutes later I'll catch myself doing it again. Drives my partner crazy when we're watching a show and my toes keep moving under the blanket. When I notice, and I stop wiggling, and I try to release as many muscles as I can notice I'm tensing (which is usually a lot), I almost melt with relaxation... and then 5 minutes later I notice that I'm doing it again. I also am almost always singing or whistling or humming or doing this thing where I kinda whisper whistle, so I can hear it, but most other people can't unless they're right next to me. Oftentimes it's either the last song I heard, or it's a short piece of some random tune I made up that I keep humming over and over and over, either out loud or in my head. So all this could be stimming??

[charlie]

I was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago at age 39 and I highly suspect I have autism. This video made me question some "stims" I might have had as a kid and throughout adulthood. Weather I have autism or not I think this video is going to be so helpful, thank you. Also thank you for saying what your fidget toy is! As soon as I saw you using it my eyeballs felt like butter. Or something. I need one!

[Mom on the Spectrum]

I’m so glad this video shed some light on your experiences. Hope you get a chance to check the fidget roller!

[Anna Myob]

I love that turn of phrase, "my eyeballs felt like butter." Been there!

[Jeannette]

I never really thought about stimming too much, but as I'm currently seeking a professional diagnosis, I realized that I actually do. The one thing other than nail biting that I've always done is bouncing my leg. I use to get told to stop all the time and so I don't do it as much anymore, but if I'm by myself, I will do it without even realizing it. On another note, I picked up a Rubik's cube last year and was determined to solve it. I watched some videos and did learn how to solve it. When I realized how much information lies within that cube, it became a special interest. But here is where the special interest and stimming overlap. I now take my cube everywhere and it is like the act of turning it actually calms me down quite a bit. Interestingly enough, one of the best cubers in the world is autistic. His name is Max Park and Netflix did a documentary on him a couple of years ago. 🥰

[HazCat Sophia - Penni]

Interesting. Sometimes I get a feeling of frustration energy that seems to come from nowhere. What you say makes sense. It’s a sensory overload.

[Mom on the Spectrum]

Yes and for me it is becoming easier to recognize over time. The other day I had a weird burst of uncomfortable energy that nothing would soothe. Finally got out my flute (intense special interest) and the energy let up after I played for a while.

[Kelly Schroeder]

Identify. Makes me think of what I’ve done over the years in this light that now I can call stimming. Love me a clicky pen. Love air drumming. Used to bite my nails long time ago but getting hit in the mouth in gym stopped that habit. Thanks for helping me realize what was “normal” and really helpful. No wonder I’ve driven others crazy clicking my pen ….. 🤪💞👊

[Mom on the Spectrum]

i also love me a clicky pen! 🖊

[Megan M]

Yeah clicky pens! 😀

[c yohe]

Pen clicker here. Didn't realize it was a stim thing till I began to suspect I was on the spectrum.

[anar kissed]

I had a problem with stimming being an unproductive but time consuming activity. I was instilled with a lot of instinctive anxiety about being caught doing unproductive activity. For me, the last two years have created a whole new focus as well as given me the best stim toy in history. I learned to spin yarn on drop spindles. It's socially acceptable and interesting so starts conversations, extremely portable, and produces a sellable or useable product.

[Tim Friday]

The stimming for active listening hits the spot for me hard. When I used to take calls at a call center...whenever I was taking a call that required more than the basic stuff, I would start stimming and walking around and it really helped focus on listening while everyone around me thought that it was me trying avoid or ignore the caller etc.

[Duldin Oac]

Man I was diagnosed with adhd as a child and still take meds for it which help tremendously but at the same time I do alot of the things you described. When I watch trivia stuff or whatnot I shake and nod my head side to side and tap my feet and it seems to help me recall the memories of when I heard or saw an answer, I am constantly babling words repeatedly saying things that ryhme over and over again and really enjoy making noises as it makes me feel correct or something it's hard to describe. When I was in my 20s I was working and making bop noises and my mom and brothers came into the place I worked to say hi and thier reaction is perfect because they were just like yeah that's Chaz lol. I have never been worried about doing this in public or others though because I really never felt ashamed or embarrassed of my quirky ways.

[Tabitha Hall]

I have a stim that I've kept hidden basically my whole life, and I am 36. It seems similar to hand flapping (which I also do), but I vibrate. Like clenching up so tightly that my body shakes. I only do it when I'm happy/excited or very angry and you're right, the emotion totally colors the stim! The funny part is it was the stimming that led me to start pursuing and evaluation. While watching my nephew who is diagnosed ASD with SPD, I realized I also did a lot of the same stims, but hidden, and even the ones I don't do, I feel them!

[Star Rattler]

One of my worse stims is skin picking. If I have nothing for my hands and I get understimulated or anxious I'll go absolutely nuts on my skin. And I'm a very pale white person, with very sensitive skin. A single tiny scab will scar visibly for a long while before going away. I have eczema, mostly on my arms, not that severe, looks like a pimple outbreak on my arms. I'd go crazy picking every little bump. If there was any raised skin I was gonna pick/pop it. Any scabs and I'd pick them. It got so bad I didn't want to show my upper arms, and people would comment on it when they saw my skin. Luckily, my friend who also has similar eczema recommended me this special soap, an antiseptic skin cleanser, that helps deal with it. It makes your skin less likely to break out. Using it every time I shower makes my arms almost totally smooth, so when I go to try and pick my arms, there's nothing to pick. So I'll go for the hangnails on my fingers haha;;; I try to carry a nail clipper around so I dont hurt myself using my teeth or trying to peel something.

[X]

Please can I ask what the soap is you mention? I also have eczema sounding similar to yours and skin pick really badly

[Star Rattler]

@X i use storebrand (cvs) antiseptic skin cleanser and scrub my arms with a glove scrubby :)

[Ella Challas]

A couple of things that might help the skin picking- try taking a low dose of zinc and low dose of iron. You also might want to add in magnesium, before bed. Take an L- Theanine supplement if you drink coffee or highly caffeinated drinks (you don’t need it with green tea). Also, fake nails (acrylics work well) might help, because it changes the sensation in your fingers to the area that you are picking or touching. It kind of interrupts the brain pattern, which will allow you to find an alternative healthier stimming method. Also, to get rid of the little bumps on the arms and legs, try using a scrub with alpha hydroxy acid or something similar.

[marin@1200Penn]

What kind of soap or name of it?

[Star Rattler]

@marin@1200Penn it's just called antiseptic skin cleanser store brand from cvs but I'm sure u can find it other places

[dayo89]

Such an interesting and informative video. I don’t have autism, I have adhd, diagnosed at 47, (3 years ago). Diagnosis was a game changer in terms of understanding myself and the difficulties I had engaging with life fully. I have become mindful of just how significant stimming is for me, especially for self soothing. Your video reminded me of how I was conditioned out of many effective stims as a child because my parents, relatives would chastise me for behaving strangely, “if anyone saw ye what would they say or think”?🙄🤣🤣 It’s videos like yours that I find so helpful as it doesn’t just normalise stimming for me but reminds me that it’s a really helpful strategy. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and being a light! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[zero]

wiggling/scrunching toes and bouncing your foot or making a figure 8 is such an amazing stim. ive always done it and its one of my fave stims and never felt the need to mask it- honestly, i think its also a really common stim for non autistic people too, at least in my family. i notice i do it when im studying really well, and also when im going to sleep. one of the best!!

[Francine Falk-Allen]

My husband is late diagnosed and I appreciate learning from you why he needs to stim. Thanks so much. Forwarding this to him!

[Michael Oaks]

I've been working in aba for about a year, and it's actually what made me realize I'm probably on the spectrum. I remembered a stim I did as a kid about a month ago, and since I started doing it again I feel like a whole new person. Less stressed, a way to deal with my anxiety, and even just something that feels good to do. Even before I started to think I was on the spectrum, it bugged me to have to tell a kid quiet hands when there wasn't a good reason to have them at that time.

[Chelsea Writes Stuff]

I have really wondered for so long how to stim, so I really appreciate how you described learning how to stim after having been so tightly masked for so long, thank you very much for taking the time to share that! 🥰

[Taylor Seigler]

Duude. There were so many lightbulbs going off in my head during this video. Nail-biting as a child (still do when I get stressed), I had no idea verbal stims were a thing. I have only recently started being aware and ok with stumming to relieve stress, and will totally be watching the results. Thank you!

[Mom on the Spectrum]

You're welcome! I hope the lightbulbs continue to help you better support and accommodate yourself!

[Snoot McDoop]

The way you are able to explain things are incredible to me. You are absolutely instrumental in helping me understand myself. Thank you❤

[thormusique]

OMG, this was brilliant, thank you! This is the first time I've heard of stimming but I completely identify with this. I've always worked hard to suppress these feelings, thinking them 'wrong'. My grammar school years were exceptionally difficult, for any number of reasons, but particularly because I would sometimes perform repetitive physical gestures, make sounds, etc. And I'm sure one of the ways I sort of sublimated this tendency in public was to scrunch my toes (as you mention here), which I've done all my life, or grit my teeth. I'm so glad I stumbled upon your channel, cheers!

[Anja Reefschläger]

Gorgeous, just realizing my unconscious ways of stimming to feel at ease, like knitting while simultaneously interpreting in-hub or when talking to friends in a larger group. Singing, too. Sometimes just inventing the sounds internally, on a very low volume while in a course. It is like a survival mechanism.

[Daniel Vieira]

Thank you for this video! I recently got diagnosed with ADHD in my early 20s, and am waiting for testing on autism but I have my suspicions, and have been going through somewhat of a grieving process where the persona I built for myself to feel NT is gone. I am working on feeling out what is learned behavior and what is actually natural. It is crazy how well you can mask to the point you forget who you were. Literally my mother tells me I was different as a child and slowly overtime became a ghost. Channels like yours are so important to not only this community but to those who don't even know they have a place where they can feel they are understood. My entire childhood was somewhat of a circus and disappointment. With more awareness, people can become aware of autism and what it actually is and dispel any rumors or stigma around it. Plus, parents and teachers might become more aware of the signs of autism and seek to help accommodate children with autism more effectively. I hope you are doing well, and good luck with your channel! You have a new subscriber here! :)

[Siures]

I managed to really really reduce the damaging stims (in school I always had bloody hands), but I am so upset that a teacher made fun of my hand gestures. I lost it almost completely due to the effort I made to stop it. It was a not damaging stim and I really would prefer it to some other stims. I am regaining my foot bouncing and it feels good. My father took me to therapy because he thought a few of the more damaging stims were a variation of self harm. But I always knew it felt very different from what a few of my friends did. Also do verbal stimming and a lot of other things that only look „quirky“ from the outside, but in the sum… tbh, it was stimming that let me lean in into the suspicion of being on the spectrum. The other aspects I thought of as results of a bad childhood. But now it makes sense. I do not like toys. Tried some, but they are mostly of materials I hate on my skin. I like rocks with interesting shapes, yarn (knitting is a stim! ;) ) and paper to fold.

[Tracy Thomas]

THANK YOU! I feel pulled completely back in, calmed and soothed. My shoulders drop, I take a deep in hale and exhale and everything just re centers and focuses. I started my stims back up before I receive my official diagnosis (which was not too long ago) Everything that you say resonated so much. ❤

[Mom on the Spectrum]

So glad! You’re welcome and thanks for the comment.

[EtherGuru]

I had never heard of stimming before. This explains so much I’m a little overwhelmed but I let myself be free and my body feels so much better. I have tears in my eyes but happy ones. Thank you

[Mom on the Spectrum]

You’re so welcome! Your comment makes me so happy. Thank you for taking the time to share.

[Susanne Lynette]

As someone who has found out very late in life that they have been well within the spectrum for their entire life, it is hard for me to put into words how much this video and others on your channel are helping me right now. THANK YOU for sharing these incredible insights - and for being so open and honest about your journey! And regarding the fine art of stimming - well, now I can travel back in time and tell little me that it is PERFECTLY fine to repetitively roll their play dough and clay into little balls instead of shaping it into whatever recognizable object that the adults in the room decided was what a “normal” kid should do! AND, it makes me wonder about an artist like Yayoi Kusama - because in my case, all those little clay spheres if presented together could actually make a very interesting work of art! THANKS❣️🧚🏻❣️😁❣️🧚🏻❣️

[a free ride when you've already paid]

Definitely can relate to being in a flow state and not being / wanting to stop because once I've stopped, it's going to take me a while to get back into that state again. Also about the stagnant energy -- when I wake up in the morning, I just lay there awake in bed, going back and forth between just staring blankly out of the window or being on my phone. I know it's not because I'm lazy, but I find it incredibly hard to actually get out of bed and get the day started.

[surlespasdondine]

Omg Taylor.! I really thoight I didn't stim upon first discovering I was autistic. Then I started observing myself. I stimm when alone or under the table when with people. More openly with my husband and kids. I rock all the time. Used to pretend I manage an orchestra while listening to classical musuc. Thank you! ❤️

[Mikeyboi]

I find stimming very helpful when studying. I usually pace about, or chuck my whiteboard upwards and catch it as it drops and toe punting the air. It's made a big improvement in increasing my focus and enjoyment of studying whilst helping me study for longer.

[Bryan Merton]

Hi Taylor! This was another excellent video! When I was a kid I used to rock back and forth and flap my hands. When I had anxiety I would sit in the lotus position and tap my head against the wall. (My mom put a stop the that one😀). I have always tap my hands on things, of course the banging leg or legs and since I have Tourette’s I have vocal stims. As I got older I learned to suppress some things and I have made others more stubble. As you know I am a very late diagnosed autistic person, but since I was diagnosed with ADHD at twelve I have always been able to get away with stims. After my autism diagnoses I have been much more open about stimming. I always have a fidget spinner in my pocket and I am more free to pop it out when I need to, even at work. I also hand flap more when I am out as I find it very soothing. An interesting consequence after “coming out” stimming was when friends of mine took me to Disneyland to experience the new Galaxy’s Edge land. I love Star Wars and I was over come with joy while waiting in line for the new ride they have there. The line was amazing and I just let go of all of my masking. I was jumping up and down, touching everything, hand flapping you name it. My friends commented afterwords that they had never seen me so happy. I have known them 25 years. I good story for adults who maybe reluctant to stim amongst friends. This was another one of my crazy long responses to your lovely videos. Stimming is my passion and I encourage anyone on the spectrum to rediscover it like you said. As always thank you so much for posting!

[Mom on the Spectrum]

Thanks for sharing Bryan!! 🥳 hope you’re doing well.

[Lacey Myriah]

What a beautiful story :) I’m glad your friends got to see you so happy!!

[Catsgirl32]

Thank you! I just got my diagnosis at 21 (impostor syndrome saying that's not 'late' lmao shush) and am trying to learn how to accommodate myself better. Since my diagnosis a few weeks ago I have started experimenting with different behavior a bit, but my parents noticed and made a remark on it which makes me want to mask more around them instead. HOWEVER I figure I'll just try to communicate to them what I'm doing so I can unmask while having their understanding. This video was very comprehensive and has indeed encouraged me to try to stim more (even if I don't 'naturally' do that anymore, though I do definitely have covert stims like nailbiting and eating snacks) and I hope by showing this video to my parents they will also be able to understand the use of it! I'll be watching more of your vids, your vibe is really nice and I relate to you. Keep up the amazing work!

[Auti Discovery]

These are so very true! A huge thank you for putting yourself out there and educating the world.

[tygirwulf]

I'm hearing-impaired, and lately I've been wondering whether many of my behaviors and habits are not because of that, but because I'm actually on the spectrum myself. I've always been told I have trouble understanding people's emotions because I can't fully hear their tone of voice, I don't like loud or repetitive noises because my hearing aids don't fully filter that stuff out, I don't look people in the eyes because I'm focusing on their lips to lip-read (when it actually makes me deeply uncomfortable to look at eyes), etc. and there's lots of other things I won't go into here. I've never met someone else who was hard of hearing from birth like I was, rather only people who lost hearing later in life, so I assumed I did certain things because I never have had normal hearing. Also never met anyone on the spectrum to my knowledge, but where I live people are very skeptical that autism or adhd are "real" so it's not likely they get diagnosed or even taken to a professional. As far as stimming goes, I always must occupy my hands when I'm stressed, bored, frustrated, or focusing on something. I usually write words down repeatedly, twiddle with a pen, lightly tap my fingertips together, crochet or knit even though I don't like to wear or use what I make. I was frequently very sick as a child so doing stuff with my hands was often the only thing I could do when I was in bed. I also whistle a lot when I'm at home.

[Maéva]

Thank you for sharing all your research and valuable experience. It's been helpful every single time ❤

[LifelongGaming]

This really resonates with me. Two years into a self-dx and I consider myself as both Autistic and ADHD. I have learnt so much and making many changes in my life and all heading in the right direction but…..what you said about getting stuck. That hit hard. I have suppressed more and more stimming behaviours (not that I knew what they were) over the years. Being told stop Fidgeting, stop bouncing your leg, sit down, stop biting your nails and so on (even at work not long ago being told that twirling my hands during meetings made me look unprofessional). Some stims are sneaking back out now but you are right - I need to relearn. The less I have stimmed over the years the more stuck I feel. Really helpful video. Thankyou

[♡TheSoftestGirlYouKnow♡]

"The less I have stimmed over the years the more stuck I feel", that's a very interesting realization. I wonder... if I can find the right kind of stims, will they help me feel unstuck? I'm very attracted to glitter, so I'm going to go look for some glitter stim toys, haha

[LifelongGaming]

@♡TheSoftestGirlYouKnow♡ My stimming has increased more and more over the last few months. Nothing I’m concerned about or that seems to be causing concern which is also a relief. I haven’t chosen any either they just seem to occur if that makes sense?

[Becky]

I'm not diagnosed but work with autistic children and my 4 year old daughter is beginning the process of diagnoses. From my work and people saying how alike I was to my daughter I can absolutely see that I am on the spectrum. My stims used to be sitting on my foot for pressure, making my legs go dead by kneeling on them and I still bite nails, pick my lip, have a pattern for chewing, twirl hair, pick skin, always wear fluffy socks no matter the weather because I can't stand bare feet and sing in my head/vivid day dream to escape where I am. I may pursue a diagnosis but I'm not sure what the benefits would be now at 34. It would be nice to show my daughter someone in her world is the same though. We never stop her stimming but even at 4 she says she's embarrassed for people at school to see some of them and wants to be alone

[Winter L]

I used to excessively sing all the time at school and the teachers would tell me off really harshly, had no idea it was a stimming behaviour, wow! Thanks for all the information

[HackanHackerGames]

at school ahah

[Sherri S.]

I am so glad that one of your videos was on my feed yesterday! One of my friends shared an online test with me a few years ago and she and I were both on the spectrum according to it. I’m 58 and not sure that I need an official diagnosis but I’m going to look at all of your videos to learn what I can. I printed the chart from the first video I watched and highlighted 33 of the traits. I have lost count of all the jobs I quit and the overwhelming challenges I had in school. I thought it was great that my son said I had ADD and went to the doctor and got meds for that…but it only helps a little bit. Thank you for sharing your journey as I see all of these comments you are helping so many! ❤

[PumpestationVest]

Thanks for the video. I am 40, and I am in the process of getting the diagnosis now; my psychiatrist says there is not much doubt that I am indeed autistic. I did a lot of research recently, and I only discovered some weeks ago that there is something called stimming. Looking back on my childhood, I can see now that I did a lot of stimming. But back then, no one seemed to know anything about it, and unfortunately I was bullied big time - so I stopped doing it, and I was ashamed of it all my life - until now! Which is why it would require a lot of courage for me to do such things again. However, I do some stuff more or less consciously, but only when I'm alone (plus maybe if I am so tired that I can't hold back). It includes tapping with my fingers or drumming with my hands and so. I also often draw patterns on a piece of paper when I have to concentrate on listening to something. So yes, I guess that is stimming too, but on a smaller scale.

[𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚢 𝚊 𝙷𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗]

My brother has a more severe form of autism so I may have flown under the radar but the classic signs of female autism are all there for me. Personally my “stim” since childhood had been rubbing my belly button. Family members and even friends have tried to shame me out of it but it’s giving me so much peace and comfort in my life that I really have never tried to stop 😆. I would also count repetitively on my fingers (trying to count to numbers on each one that when added would all equal the same number) But during more difficult times in life skin picking has definitely been a huge problem for me. I realized that I may be on the spectrum in my late 20s but when I’ve talked to psychologists about it the response I get is basically that I must be a hypochondriac of some kind“ what benefit would you get out of being diagnosed now”. Am I the only one who has gotten this response?

[Actosium]

Channeling the energy. Spoke like a true monk. Thank you for explaining this ❤Being stuck on an activity and channeling it through something because of this antenna. Once I was high af with my friends in downtown and I felt like this big city sends un big frequency waves and control all of us. That created my conspiracy theory of the technology being able to control us and not all of us can feel it

[Rich H]

I was diagnosed at 61. Now 64, after a life of taking meds for bi-polar depression. I stim by talking nonsense language, particularly in the mornings. Just discovered your channel and you have made me feel better.

[IceE]

I’m 25 now, but since I was about 8 and got my first mp3 player I would obsessively listen to the same songs and spin around or walk back and forth and it felt amazing. I still do this now almost everyday and also I have to shake my leg or blink a million times. I’m now wondering if I might have autism and just never noticed it.

[Lacey Myriah]

I have a VERY specific memory of being at a Technology Students Association conference in the 7th grade. I was competing in all sorts of tech competitions and despite being in a lot of social situations, THIS was another level. I pulled half of my eyelashes out on at least one of my eyes. I was really disturbed with myself but I couldn’t help it!!! Never did that again but I think it was SO stressful none of my regular stims helped (typing words and numbers on invisible keyboards, picking my lips, finger twiddling, running a silky strand of my own hair over my lips over and over, etc). I have not been diagnosed but WAS diagnosed with ADHD at age 30 last year & my brother has been diagnosed with autism. Yoga helps immensely now and now that the suspicions I have for my own ASD dx, I’m grateful to have the information to start trying intentionally stimming as opposed to getting all pent up. I find myself getting really anxious and I start to tighten up and shiver really really hard. I think stimming would REALLY help in these situations.

[Aeon's Vortex]

Okay so this is the first I've heard of this. I'm a 44 year old male who never really considered I might be on the spectrum. Ever since I learned to type at age 13 I remember constantly typing out words I was hearing or reading. First with my toes and for year's now with my fingers. I find it sometimes helps but sometimes I get stuck in a loop for hours typing the same sentence or word repeatedly until I realise it. It used to make me angry and frustrated but I'm now sure I've been stimming in everyday life ALL my life! I can relate to many autistic traits it turns out but I'm a little scared to investigate.

[Bree The Flower]

I work in ABA and try to push back on anything that touches stimming. I try to allow it always and find ways to help parenta understand why the kids do what they do. Lately Ive been having a huge battle with myself over whether or not I should continue to work in ABA or if I could even afford to quit. It pays well and keeps me stable but it’s also opposite of a lot of what I understand as a constructivist teacher(future teacher) and as someone who suspects she may be on the spectrum herself

[Wanda Engelhardt]

Thank you for this. I didn't know what stimming was, but I sure know what I do to process my excess energy and i have since the 5th grade. I play with the skin on the knuckles of my hands. I pull it up, then I pat it down, or twist it a little. I thought I was just weird and have always tried to not let others see me do it. I used to do it under my desk at school and one time in the 6th grade, the teacher yelled out at me (she was really aggravated with me) "What are you playing with under your desk??" I felt humiliated. I said nothing. I also play with my hair or rub my skin on my arms or face. I had no idea this was part of being on the spectrum. I feel so much better about it. I'm 75 now and live alone and now I can give myself permission to stim without feeling weird. Thank you so much!!! There's always a song in my head and I click my teeth together to the rhythm. Now THAT drives even ME a little nuts 😂

[Indianne]

For several years I have suspected I may be on the spectrum, and it is common knowledge that my hands always have to be busy. I knit and crochet prolifically, and if all else fails, games on my phone, or rubbing my nails. So much of this message really spoke to me. Wow.

[Alicia]

Hello, I am going to be getting a diagnosis done to see if I have autism because I suspect I am on the spectrum and I've been finding your videos to be incredibly helpful! Thank you so much for taking the time to film these!!

[0blivvy8🐉]

I've always done covert stimming, I just didn't know that's what it was! I like to twirl my hair, pick my nails and cuticles, shake my leg, and play with my jewelry. I danced frequently when I was a kid and was on a competitive dance team. I used to chew gum a lot, and I think that was a stim too! I don't anymore because of TMJ dysfunction from grinding my teeth. My favorite stim is rocking or swaying side to side, which I recently rediscovered, as I'd suppressed it from childhood. I buy fidget toys for my son because he's allowed to bring quiet ones to school, so I like to share them too.

[annelogston]

I was seriously discouraged from my childhood stims of rocking and spinning, so I took up a more secretive and destructive stim of biting and picking at my lips, often till I bled. It was only after I was diagnosed last year at the age of 60 that I understood and explored deliberate stimming, such as my present ONO rollers and homemade komboloi worry beads. Thankfully I was able to stop the more destructive stims and on to better ones! GOOD stims are gold!

[T]

oh my goodness, I came across this video by chance but this makes so much sense. As a child I'd shake when excited & I'd blink at every street lamp when travelling in the car. I learnt to hide it as much as possible due to teasing by others but i've caught myself doing this as an adult - now 51 & self diagnosed autistic female. Thank you.

[Jez Khailo]

I am a vocal stimmer, for sure. One thing my (estranged) father said about me with hearts in his eyes was how I was constantly singing as a child. Like, about anything I was doing or seeing, I'd sing it out. I also click my tongue and tap my teeth (usually in some kind of rhythm). As for physical stims, I pretty much have to have something in my hands or I don't know what to do with them. I knit, crochet, weave, write with fountain pens (that one is sensory HEAVEN for me). I will rub silky fabric between my fingers...I used to call this "twinkling" when I was a kid and had to get trained out of doing it in public with my underwear. lmao...that was probably for the best and not oppressive on my mother's part.. lolol

[SDR2408]

Great video, really like how you approach and deliver the subject and material. I was diagnosed circa 2 months ago at 40, autism wasn't even on my radar until 10 months ago, needless to say I've been learning a great deal about myself and my life experiences. I'm a stimming machine 😂.

[A W]

I'm so happy I came across your account. I highly suspect I am autistic, but I don't believe I will ever be able to recieve an assessment for several reasons. So the bare minimum I can do is discuss with my husband my suspicions, however I have tried on multiple occasions and he has been resistant to the idea, I believe because of the societal ideation of what autism looks like and because he has worked with autistic children and what he has seen is where his understanding lies. I'm hopeful that one day I can sit him down and show him some of your videos so he can see that autism is vast and maybe he would be willing to learn with me as I continue my journey of self discovery/acceptance. Thank you for what you do! It is so important that more people come to a better understanding of what ASD really means.

[Mom on the Spectrum]

💓

[DAMn]

After my diagnosis I understood my incessant singing. My roommate started paying attention that I was always singing, without even realizing, for years… He joked I had a tiny archivist in my brain that was always playing and organizing records.

[Katarzyna Soyka]

I was told off for stimming both at home and school and got bullied as well. I learned to switch stims to less noticeable ones, depending on situation: biting my lips and cheeks if I had to be quiet and still (school), twirling my hair (only around peers), rolling and twisting my ankles and feet (if I could hide them under the table or in a car), humming and singing in loud environments, etc, etc... I am learning now to allow myself to stim and stim BIG if I need to regardless of who can see me, but it's still difficult. Rocking and full body swaying is my new favourite

[Arkten Arachlassair]

9:30 This whole explanation is the way I was forced to experience life at home and at work for more than a decade, when you put it the way you do, there's no wonder I used to have so many meltdown's; it got so bad on the homefront post-diagnosis that my ex not only brushed it all off as a lie, but, outwardly became hostile and resentful when I went through autistic burnout which then made it so I couldn't work anymore to the point of forcing me to apologize most of the evening every evening when she got home because of how "horrible" I was for "making her uncomfortable" by "leaning on my symptoms"... I really hope that others don't have to deal with that stuff and have the ability to get that out before it gets to meltdown; in my case it wasn't even just meltdown, it usually was coupled with flashbacks too given that I've C-PTSD.

[Bill Thomas]

Thank you, Taylor. This is a big help: I'm gradually finding that I may be an undiagnosed autist, & what you say about stimming hits home deeply. At work, I am an antenna for everyone else's conversations/phone calls, & on trips away from the desk I do dance down the stairs, flap hands, be echolalic... I've got used to the fact that I'm seen as weird, but you & others are helping me see that it's also normal for my particyular brain wiring!

[Shae Blakeman]

I have recently started allowing my mask to come down in public - at dental appointments, my kid's gym, at work. I feel more...free. Thank you for posting this. Also, I ordered your awesome shirt!

[Shira Kitty00]

I've been hesitating for a while wondering if I am undiagnosed autistic, ADHD, or maybe both (I'm almost 23). I've been researching a lot about the autistic spectrum, articles and, videos from doctors, psychologists, and even autistic people who were diagnosed at older ages like 10 to their 20s, and this video reminds me that I've been stimming my whole life; If I'm excited I jump and stim with my hands but hiding in the bathroom so my parents won't get mad at me saying that "I'm dramatic", my mom also told me when I was around 2-4 years old and there was something I touched but I didn't like it how it feels I move my hands as stimming so she had to clean my hands so I could stop feeling that texture I hated; when I feel anxiety, especially in my job I have to go to the restroom to stim and calm down, it can be rocking, putting my hands over my head and moving my fingers as playing an instrument, or rocking and put my arms over my chest; also since I was a kid and still now as an adult in every place even buying in the store or supermarket I touch things and use them as a stimming toy even though I'm not going to buy that thing, just use it at the moment in the store and when it's time to leave I let it go.

[Yin Yang Phoenix]

I'm an autistic stimmer, too. Dx at 43. Thanks to this video, I now understand that there are other ways that stimming would help me but that I am not using, such as stimming when distressed. I have tended to have a "bias" toward doing that when excited or eager (unless playing Minecraft in Creative Mode counts as stimming, since it is very repetitive for me and requires little to no mental exertion; it is definitely an effective means of meditation because it does keep the "monkey mind" nicely occupied and empty my thoughts).

[Nikki Reigns]

I used to play in creative for HOURS at a time lol now I get why

[Terri Meakin-rosario]

omg, this is great stuff. sometimes i feel like my cat when he just gets up and starts running from room to room full tilt! i started stimming again after hiding for 6 years..string of bad relationships left me feeling my soul was ripped out permanently..but im fighting back to be me. your words and advice are greatly appreciated in my self healing therapy..

[Adelaide Worthington]

Thank you so much for this post. I’m not even sure how I found your video. This is so eye opening to me!!!! I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD but I’m increasingly convinced I’m dual, on ASD.

[El Jefe De Guerra]

I may be in a similar boat as you. My wife and I both believe we are in diagnosed. Our daughter was diagnosed before age three. So much makes sense looking at it through the lense that we are on the spectrum. I’ve learned so much from you already. Thank you you beautiful soul you.