Female Narcissist 17 Red Flags Why Hard To Leave

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[@jakefeisel7348]

A toxic relationship just becomes more and more poisonous over time get out before you are completely destroyed.

[@puscifer99]

Over a long period of time, the emotional turns into physical abuse.

[@AnitaBarneycastle]

There is something "off" with these people. My gut was becoming almost nauseous around the narcissists dark energies.

[@drewtrulock333]

The one i was with said her ex bf was really dark...that should've sent me to the hills i guess but i stayed... yikes 🤓

[@marioperic7482]

Apsolutely agree with you! They are cruel, sadistic and when they enter the room it's as if a dark cloud of doom came along with them... yet why does it feel hard for one to leave despite everything bad they have encountered with them? For me it's the love-bombing persona I fell in love with that in the end was a false persona ofcourse but I still have to say that to myself everyday and convince me that she was never for me... it's hard but the reminder of her ultimate decision and that negative energy that my narc carries on even today without me (everywhere she is) keeps me straight in the head to move forward until I ultimately forget her!

[@littlefairyfly]

Girl I feel you, my naive stupid ass thought it was butterflies.. now I know better

[@empresszoe9351]

I literally have vomited after spending time with a narcissist.

[@TheRealest127]

I just left a 3 Year relationship with Toxic Narcissist. She NEVER Apologized or said she was sorry whenever she was wrong. Then I Realized. Narcissists must see being wrong as a WEAKNESS. Instead of seeing it as just being HUMAN Like the rest of us. But they must not think they’re Human. They must think they’re MORE than human. TRULY Egotistical. Smh.

[@corsicanlulu]

dont marry anyone who doesnt reciprocate what u give them period!!!

[@AnitaBarneycastle]

corsican lulu I figured that out...and REFUSED to get married.

[@car1it05WAY]

Get out asap

[@TheOriginalGankstar]

How can you possibly expect me to give you period in return? We can marry when you reach 50 if you like?

[@marcolojewskijr.4165]

I wish I would have known this before I gave my ex wife 30 years of trying to be what she thought I should be and begging her cra-craness for her approval and to be heard! I have literally have said the exact same thing I wanted for 22 years and never getting it but her giving it to another guy and coming home to brag about it and I was told to get over it! But the great news is I know better now! I wish the next guy good luck!

[@MrGuy-cp1gt]

Another man junk is another man's gold, the ex, they are called satans sirens, looking for all the salutes from ALL men , good news no woman in heaven

[@enlightenedone7083]

Run away as fast as you can & do not look back. I don't care if she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

[@reettaelina]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/d56yZXqPh8qsr9U

[@davidgraham8840]

Michelle Carpenter True. Beauty doesn't matter. Even the Devil himself started out as a beautiful angel. (Ezek. 28:13-17) Narcissists share a lot of traits associated with the Devil- lying, manipulation, arrogance, deception, using others to achieve their ends while they hide in the shadows.

[@Drewzdev]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/nJureIebidmUl8U

[@MorebeatsTV]

Sometimes we put ourselves through that type of treatment because the woman might be gorgeous and she is giving us consistent sex. In the long run the relationship will completely take you away from your purpose in life. You will fall into depression and you might even commit suicide. It's really that serious. Gotta use discernment early on.

[@tracyovercomer]

Circa 84 Best response! Soo True!

[@plisskin83]

This kid is actually really lucky to be learning this lesson so early in life. I’m 36 and just got away from a female narcissist after 10 months of hell. This coaching is scary accurate. Michele is on point.

[@nopcshere6097]

I was 47 when I escaped from an emotionally abusive, narcissistic wife and her equally abusive, narcissistic mother and father. I would love to be 36 again and re-live those years narc-free. Now, at least I have a life again that does not revolve around narcissistic elderly in-laws and a narcissistic wife who put her NMom and NDad ahead of the marriage.

[@jasonalbania2060]

I'm 38 now... Man I already had two. Got married age of 31,it lasted 6 BS years before I finally got out... 2 years before I finally recover. Then had this recent relationshit... Another narc. What in a world I always attract this kind of woman. I wish all the best for all those man who loved faithfully and true. May God help us to find the right one for us. 🙏

[@kevinseraphimday6373]

Right? I ENVY him...in a good way of course 😁

[@kevinseraphimday6373]

@@jasonalbania2060 66 here and counting mom, I got FIVE. Not trying to "one-up" you, just warning you that you have to work REALLY hard at becoming and maintaining AWARENESS whenever you enter any kind of relationship with ANYONE because if you want a good life, there's no room ANYWHERE in your life life for a narc because like a single bacteria, they'll make you ILL!

[@Floatingaccidentallike]

Your a grown up but glad you got away.

[@Jcastro9444]

I feel the best weapon against a narcissist woman besides no contact is that you have to keep a very masculine frame at ALL times around her. Like rarely complimenting her if ever,little to no validation,boundries and not tolerating their shit,knowing your value at all times. It's funny I look back at it now,I always did this and it definitely challenged her and got her emotional with anger texts. I left the relationship so I know I played her game and beat her in it.

[@justsomedude6455]

Their good side is so good, so well adapted to fit your individual needs. Letting go of that false self is the hardest part. Accepting that you wasted YEARS of your life on someone who was just playing you, using you as an emotional doormat. Dear self, forgive me.

[@walterwhite751]

Controlling !!!!!! Raging Silent treatments Never communicate. Never give just take

[@MultiFreddy34]

Walter White that's it in a nutshell.

[@marcelogouveia9614]

Ah... also, even if they know they made any kind of mistakes; THEY WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE!!!

[@mentalhibees]

never take account for their actions never wrong very critical can't take criticism

[@JohnDoe-id1es]

Marcelo Gouveia and when u logically break down their irrational behavior, and they finally do apologize, they scream "Fine- You're Right. You Win! ARE YOU HAAAAAPPPPPPYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????!!!!" ( and you're like- wtf? smh)

[@AnitaBarneycastle]

yes!

[@TheRealJohnHooper]

Just take a step back.. Slap yourself and ask: Why do you want to marry a girl that already makes you feel crazy??? You want to marry a girl with that you cannot have a single normal discussion? This is crazy.

[@ays3545]

Absolutely, I dated a guy and we could never have normal relationship discussion. Yes, it took me about a year to realize he was narcissistic. I did decide to walk away and you better believe that "No contact" is the way to go, narcs don't like that they don't know what's going on with a formal supply. I don't have anything to do with him. He's a waste of any woman's time. I thank God that I was able to walk away and not have to look back. I every now and again see him near me as though he's watching and yes, he wants communication with me, but it truly was/is his loss and I truly wasted my time. I love life too much to be involved with someone on a mission sent by the devil.

[@keplermission4947]

@@ays3545 you were discarded like a candy wrapper.

[@nicbro3831]

It doesnt get better when you tie yourself to them legally. Or have kids. Kids dont make someone a better person.

[@ays3545]

@@keplermission4947 Absolutely

[@ays3545]

@@woodliceworm4565 They are what satan the devil placed in place to snag, control, breakdown and defeat another person. So many don't want to believe in God but trust me when I say that it'll take the Holy Spirit living inside of you to steer you around and away from them and ONLY the power of God to keep you in you're right sound mind to help you through the process after being with a narc. They are led by satan's evil, manipulative craziness, but God's soverign love is what saves us from them. Like you said it's hard to spot then, buts that's only with our naked eye, God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit doesn't have that problem. If we could ONLY accept Jesus Christ in our lives as Lord and Savior this world and its evilness won't be able to attack us as such. Trust me when I say narcissistic folk are intities of satan the devil. God tells us that we have to live in this world but that we shouldn't be a part of it - when we choose to disobey God we leave the door open for satan to come in and handle us however he wants to. For you who say there is no God, pay attention to the lives of folk without Him. Anyone reading this post Jesus is soon to return, find a church that teaches the bible, accept Jesus Christ into your life as Lord and Savior today, it's time, so that you're not left behind. Have a wonderful day God loves you dearly and deeply. Good bye for now.

[@nyias6576]

My narc never apologizes but will say she did. All the time

[@oroville12345]

Nyia S gaslighting

[@kylemcampbellii]

Mine did that crap all the time.

[@dwalter2259]

Omg my ex did the same thing and when I tell her the problem she changes my words to benefit her. That pisses me off. I'm like those aren't the words I use and that's not what I'm talking about. It's crazy but I'm glad it's over, it was draining me

[@johnym.8878]

Mine couldnt write-I am sorry, even when I told her she doesnt have to mean it. Just write it and its all good. She couldnt. Oh yes, she slept with another man, because I caused her Narc injury. And the reason she did it, its so stupid, you wouldnt believe it. God had a good laugh on this one, but this was a lesson of the lifetime. I still feel blessed, and pain that came with this lesson was worth it. God bless you all.

[@borosinyas2648]

Right now if he she abuse you then 123456789 years he she going to apologize if it's laten then he she going apologies to you

[@primalself9232]

Looks fade, but narcs don't get better.

[@Tony-dh]

Primal Self my girlfriend aged 20 years in ten. Blames me for that as well.

[@Obliv69]

they are like milk, the older they get the more sour they become

[@jasimsyriac1445]

Mine don't have looks

[@wisdomgoddess2666]

I don't understand narcissistic women are rated hot but some are just exaggerated.. people think they are attractive but they are superficial and not at all natural beauty.. they waste too much money on grooming that's it!

[@BalticLab]

They actually get worse and more bitter the older they get. Because the games they were able to pull at 20, they can't anymore at 40. And the secondary supplies they could always Hoover back in at 20, also went away. And even though they appear over confident, they're highly insecure and its difficult for them to reel in new supply if they have to be active. If the guy approaches then and reacts to her teasing, it's not problem for her. But the nature of things is, at 20 she had a lot of guys approach her, at 40 not so much anymore. And the f boys that only want sex that she had in her 20s, still have 20 year old women for that. Imagine your beauty is your primary tool to get supply. Imagine how grim aging looks. The male narc can get more successfull as he gets older. Of he uses money to impress people, his age is secondary. Now this is assuming a covert female. And females tend to usually come more often in the covert form.

[@nicbro3831]

I remember saying to my ex "it's like we can never be on the same page. When I'm happy you're unhappy and when I'm sad you're happy." Its taken all these years to realize that he was doing that on purpose. Seriously sick.

[@starlingswallow]

YES! It was like a see saw! 😡 I see it so clear now...

[@lilkr8844]

Run ,run for your life and don't look back!!!!!!!!!!👍

[@walterwhite751]

They never aknowledge anything. Always the victim. Being afraid of their rages.

[@marioperic7482]

No self reflection, no look in the inside, no realization of their inner-selfs... they are stuck in the past, still even today acting as a victim and for future always planning evil schemes on easy prey and targets!

[@tibeerius1967]

I’m glad that there is finally recognition that it’s not just the male that can be a narcissist. That we also suffer too.

[@audreyandrea460]

This is a late comment, for sure. Yes, I agree with you that it’s good that men are recognized as victims of female narcissists and female abusers. I want to expand on your point and also add that female narcissists target other females as well - for example my mother abused me so horrifically throughout my life that I had to get a lawyer, cut off every single person who I’d ever met in my life to start again alone, and go to the police about it. She did abuse my father but committed no crimes against him, and he was able to simply divorce her, move away and get remarried. But the things she did to me were literally criminal, and my dad allowed her to get away with it, with extreme abuse, and left me with her while he took off and got himself another life. The same is true with male narcissists who target males (including fathers who target sons, co-workers, gay men, etc. ) My point here doesn’t take away from anyone’s suffering, I’m just expanding on your point.

[@hardhatjack2207]

Yes! Tired of hearing that women have a monopoly on suffering

[@FullPowerMasteryWithRa]

Thank you for acknowledging the fact that men suffer emotional abuse from narc women too. I appreciate that. As a man, it's hard to call these things 'abuse' when it IS and it can be so painful and traumatic to be in these kinds of relationships when you are trying to make the best of the person you are with. I want to add one bit to the red-flag when she was disregarding his feelings. She also 'emasculated' him which is never acceptable in a romantic partner and relationship. That too is a form of emotional abuse. Comments from a romantic female partner where she is emasculating or putting down his masculinity or otherwise 'hitting below the belt' is never acceptable. Infact it is emotional AND psychological abuse. In his case it was a double blow. Her remark was emasculating and also disregarding his feelings and needs. Tripple blow actually because then theirs the lack of 'respect' that tops it all off.

[@tigerlillypearse8831]

Black Swan Education yes, my mum is a narcissist. My dad is so henpecked. It’s horrible.

[@eznosnopes5276]

Such great advice. There is nothing to fix with the person in this letter. Walk away even if it hurts. No amount of hotness is worth losing your sanity. Hold your head up, walk away with some dignity and plan your escape.

[@quietmike4791]

"I don't remember", "You just don't believe me", "That never happened" any of these sound familiar?

[@bosschedda_]

Sure do

[@justinkinter8651]

God its unreal how they're all the same, all three of these were fed to me and I ate each one up multiple times. On top of silent treatment, on top of putting their entire weight of blame on me, on top of telling me this is all my fault for falling in love with her and it's only going this way because I'm crazy

[@knoble1985]

@Tony Macaroni Was told that all the time

[@deshawnthornton372]

Yes!!

[@enstrop]

Also: "it s your imagination" " I don t reply" "you are too sensitive" "this is last time we talk"

[@tev57]

Thank you Michele and all of you guys for showing compassion to my case . I left her, now I m more concentrating on my self and work. Thanks again I really appreciate your warm feelings.

[@orchidsrising7910]

Ahmed Kamal Happy to hear. I left a message above for you... Much love 💗🌸🦋... You will find much joy... At first, it’s an internal journey, well worth it. And always stick with the kind (hearted)... Woman friends are a great way to get to know women and understand all the different personality types so you choose well. You will find a hotter chic 🌸

[@rryphill4408]

You dodged a Bullet and will see it in the future...peace to you.

[@Yesindeed-sd7ju]

Are you doing okay cuz?

[@trishtv8310]

We saved one!!!!!!!! Thank you LORD!

[@KingofgraceSARA]

Thank God! You did yourself a lifetime favor. Cheers, for your strength send courage. Find someone who wants to communicate, encourage you, be empathetic and interested in your interests.

[@karent3004]

To the young man here: you are brave for putting your life experience out for all to see. Please know that so many of us have been exactly where you are and some of us would have given anything to have someone like Michelle or others here to talk with and point out these red flags that we ignored . We didn't listen to our own intuition and we were burned. It can take years off your life when you get tangled up with these types and you'll wonder where your life went. Protect your heart honey...

[@chowdaheadmick2963]

Thank you, Karen T! Your comment is very much appreciated! Oftentimes, when men describe how horrible female narcs are, we are accused of being mean, angry or slandering them because their abuse is so cruel and heartless... It's that unbelievable... The more you describe their behavior, the crazier you sound! This is why I've been reluctant to speak out. There is an inherent bias in society where men are seen as the abusers by default and women as the victims regardless of what the facts are. I think this bias is a product of a false "Battle of the Sexes" idea. It's total BS. I was happily married for nearly two decades with no drama whatsoever -because we were two normal, well adjusted adults. But female narcs use this bias to great effect in the courts and workplace as they slander and smear men who don't give them what they want. Again, narcissistic abuse has nothing to do with gender or sex! Narcs can be male or female, gay or straight. This is an invisible war between normals/empaths and Cluster B psychos!!! When are the US courts going to get a clue and start holding these monsters accountable like they do in Europe?

[@audreyandrea460]

I notice your comment is from 5 years ago, and if you happen to see my late reply here, I just want to say that I think things are changing a bit, now. Recently the Johnny Depp versus Amber Heard case was very high profile, and it was important in showing the whole world the reality of female abusers. Johnny Depp is a handsome, rich man with many friends and he still couldn’t get away from her. The courts were in his favour. I think it has helped a little. At least it’s better late than never.

[@TheVermifuge]

I called her an “angel”, and she literally said that she is “Satan”... I should’ve known right then and there what she truly was.

[@crisclay2678]

Instrumedley lol is this serious ?

[@Marixpress2]

When people tell you who they are, believe them 🙌

[@drewtrulock333]

Yikes

[@kdark6309]

Omg she said the same to me in the beginning of our relationship that she is a demon as a joke

[@TheVermifuge]

NEVER take it lightly. Its evils cunning way of letting you know the truth.

[@nightfox7355]

tell him don't do it... I've been married to a Narcissistic for 20yrs ..and I'm just learning... thank you!

[@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry]

Me too. Best of luck!

[@freddysquirenaranjo4859]

Meeeeee too after 23 bloody years of emotional abuse! I have just come to this assumption...... NOW!!!!!!!!!

[@lauradelregno99]

@@freddysquirenaranjo4859 better now than never

[@mywater6796]

sorry my elders

[@michaeljackson7361]

I got way too much time in this bs.

[@ohhiguy]

"I would rather hurt you with the truth, than tell you everything is OK." Great line.

[@walterwhite751]

An npd does something wrong to you and when you mention it they are mad at YOU and mistreat you.

[@jasonbotting3666]

Walter White and I was the one saying sorry and feeling bad....a complete mind f#@k

[@raycooper3940]

Walter White so right

[@FirstLast-js3ip]

Walter White checks out

[@ratherbenapping10]

YES

[@marioperic7482]

When I tried to tell my female narc how I feel after she discarded me she threatened to call the police on me... can you believe that? No closure man, they think they are always right in their mind and they can go on doing freely whatever they want in this God-damn world! Many times I wish there was a prison for these kind of people to keep them away from society: a true menace they are!

[@erwinvanderlaan5884]

This is SO exactly similar to my own recent experience with a narcissistic girl. I got goosebumps all the time listening to this story. From the first moment concerning 'trust your gut feeling' to every single example and red flag. It's so scary - and exactly the physical attraction (and the sexuality coming out of her mouth) is the point I'm still struggling with to let go. it's been 6 months since she discarded me, and now, slowly, I'm getting myself back to who I really am, after giving her all that I had. It's a nightmare. I hope the boy makes the right decision for himself, and that would be to leave her. The heart may tell something else, but the gut and the head know. As horrible as it is.

[@saintmarybulicek567]

This is me fulfilling my promise, he’s my favorite after so many heartbreaks. I thought it was time to give myself a break and focus on my job while trying to heal from my previous toxic relationship. After about a year and half I met a man who turned out to be my daughter’s boss , I was reluctant at first but his persistence and high spiritedness got me submissive. We started getting along so well , no day passes without constant communication, I fell in love and didn’t want to be hurt ever again; told him my weaknesses and he told me his, along the line he came across his ex and his attitude towards me started getting cold. Seemed like deja vu all over and so I couldn’t let the anxiety tear me apart. I met a colleague who introduced me to the best set of Private investigators ultimate hack , I contacted and hired them almost immediately and they requested a down payment to commence the job after targets cell number was provided. After few hrs they responded with all the deleted and recent messages , Whats App Facebook Instagram Snapchat gps and archives of pictures he has been sending out; I practically had access to his phone without his knowledge. Turns out he connived with his young sibling to test my patience and tolerance, all the info was carted to me , thanks to the hackers I now pass his test with ease, lol . For assistance on how to track or monitor your spouse email ultimatehack003@ gmail com or Whats App/call/text [phone] I wish you well as You find out the truth about your partner just like I did ..

[@elijahjames8837]

She doesn't want the relationship to work because it is through the use of emotional chaos that the narcissist is able to sink their fangs in to suck their victim dry. In other words, narcissists are emotional vampires who suck their victims dry while trying to fill the emotional void within them.

[@TheRealest127]

Elijah James Perfectly Put. 👌🏾

[@Ezcrownme2]

Dammn this hit hard !

[@marlanaferro1558]

👏👏👏

[@drummerjeroensimons]

And let,s be honest here: A beautiful woman is beautiful inside and outside, because those things are connected : soul/spirit/body... Michelle , you are one them!! And I mean it with respect.

[@peanut9863]

Highly narcissistic people are terrible at communicating. They have zero ability to speak about and address issues that come up; that is if you aren’t on the receiving end of the silent treatment. They are great at playing mind games and manipulating you. It doesn’t matter how attractive she is; this young man needs to realize that his girlfriend is unhealthy. You are so right about looks; Michelle. I always look at couples and think about the obvious disparity because often it is significant.Things will only get worse. Just walk away!

[@Obliv69]

if they do show any interest its only so they can use it as ammunition against you in the most humiliating way, as a way of breaking you and putting you back in your place. Like revealing something deep you shared with them in a public setting to other people at a totally inappropriate time so you feel put back and shamed. the M.O. is always the same. Lie, deny, shift the blame onto others. make yourself to be the victim. rage one minute, walk off laughing, then come back crying to make you feel bad.

[@bjc215]

The only girl I ever loved is an overt narcissist.. She is a pro at everything from love bombing and gaslighting to devaluing to discarding and playing the power game to moving on to another relationship within a month.. Now that she's gone and I have nothing but time ..I'm thinking about my childhood dysfunction, my parents qualities, and engaging in a crazy amount of introspection. After learning more about narcissists, I'm starting to believe that I display some covert narcissistic traits myself. I'm certainly NOT good at being a narcissist! ..the empathy really gets in the way of selfishness! But I have that covert grandiosity in my head even though I have low confidence.. and am introverted and have other maladaptive behavior patterns to look at and hopefully change! But I know that I have love and empathy because I still love my narc ex; knowing she really can't love me the same way.. I empathise with her..her narc mom and childhood neglect and I do not blame her for being a narcissist. She didn't choose to be a narcissist..Her self esteem is worse than mine even though she is extremely beautiful and intelligent and even doing great at the whole narcissistic thing! ..but it is just sad..even though she has a ton of pleasure, she cannot ever have any internal happiness.. and knowing that she doesn't have the ability to look at herself means she probably won't ever change.. so..I don't mind so much about being heartbroken ..that she feels power or whatever for hurting my feelings more than I thought possible ..the experience seems to be helping me become a better person than I was before. I wish that I could have helped her. ..just my sorta different experience and attitude on this very fascinating topic

[@quinnpaton8852]

bjc215 man I'm feeling the exact same way. I'm going to a psychologist this week. Hopefully I'll get my mind figured out. Good luck to you

[@bjc215]

How is it going Quinn Paton? ..how did the shrink go? ..they gave me a very mild antidepressant (Wellbutrin) and I'm seeing a therapist..

[@tanyastevens9553]

Wow! I understand this quite well... Thanks for sharing. This brings clarity.

[@monktilready9812]

bjc215 wow, sounds exactly like my past relationship.....scarily similar

[@anonymouslee2083]

You don't sound like a narcissist. Even wishing you could have helped her is something someone with NPD would never think

[@cherbug1197]

Love your channel Michelle! This resonates with my male narc. 100%. He has hoovering me, but I've been ignoring him. I stayed far too long because he's hot and at times could be so charming. My family and friends didn't like him, and was watching ME disappear. I moved out two months ago and am staying strong, thanks to these types of channels.

[@brnt034]

The biggest mistakes and errors in judgment I have ever made in my life is when I ignored my instincts/gut that was screaming at me to step back from the ledge and not to go through with whatever choice that was before me!

[@DailyAIguy]

I was feeling down today about my ex. But when you have a gorgeous relationship coach open your eyes about your ex mistreating you. No matter how attached I am, I can go about my day today. Thank you !

[@Poppi_Weasel]

Real sad. Going thru abuse for the sake of looks. Real shame. Everytime I heard the words "My Girlfriend..." I just SMH.

[@Hades69099]

I dated a narcissist for 6 months, although it was mostly text based. It was like walking on eggshells. I say one point against her and she says 3 against me, and I'm supposed to be the one to apologize. I wasn't even confronting her out of malice, I was just trying to explain things that were bothering me about the relationship, but she couldn't take it. Sometimes I'll go out on dates when they come my way, but I'm just overall happier being alone. I pretty much only have crazy women in my reach. All the good girls are taken, probably by a guy who's dating other women behind her back, and I get left with the crumbs, so no thanks. Dating is an all or nothing game and I'm just tired of playing it. I'm done pandering to adult infants. Great decision for my life, great for my self esteem and self respect.

[@tomd1434]

Zach you look like a young guy. Hang in there man. Look there are some great woman out there and not all are taken. That's just some frustration talking and I get it. I met a great girl and I'm 39. Been together for almost 2 years. She's not perfect, nor am I but so far we're a good match. I get the allure of crazy fast women and I know how much mental damage they can cause. Sometimes a good woman may not be the most exciting but so what? Who needs constant excitement? That's impossible to maintain anyway. Maybe take a break but don't get discouraged.

[@izroda84]

RED PILL MGTOW MENTALITY IS THE ESSENCE OF THE MAN ON PURPOSE MINDSET

[@trevorlangsett2735]

To the guy who wrote that e-mail: Been there before. Once when I was 18, I thought the same as you did. Took years to get over this girl who basically did everything in the cluster b personality playbook to control me. Happened again once more when I was 26, but What I Realized the second time around was it wasn't necessarily their beauty I was addicted to, as I have seen and been with more physically attractive women but it was THE WAY THEY WERE BEHAVING that drove me. They were triggering my fear of failure, fear of loss, and abandonment in a game of "who has the power?" She knew what she was doing and didn't care enough to see that she was hurting me with manipulation. What the second girl didn't realize (she was 20) is that I had more experience with girls like her at this point and understood the cluster B pattern. This time before I got too deep, I could mitigate the damage before it got worse. I realized my first experience taught me a lot and finally saw a pattern in what I'm very attracted to: Being treated like I'm less. I look back to when I was 18 and see now how I played just as big of a role in the dynamic, by allowing her to control my emotions for the sake of keeping her same fears in check. It's all about control, domination and winning with overly insecure narcissistic types. The way you turn the table on these types of people is showing you have self value by moving on as swiftly as they would have from you. They'll catfish you, post passive aggressive statuses, and you just have to ignore it and realize they're just trying to calm their fears by getting you back in control.

[@MultiFreddy34]

Trevor Langsett My man!! Such a well put together post. I whole heartedly agree with basically everything you said. And I've been there as well unfortunately.

[@quinnpaton8852]

Trevor Langsett hey I feel like I have increased narcissistic qualities after dating a girl for 4 years that may be narcissistic or histrionic or both. I'm just wondering if you had the same reaction.

[@trevorlangsett2735]

@Quinn Paton Very common feeling. The irony is (and even as morally superior as I try to make myself sound by pointing my finger at her saying 'oh she's a narcissist'), it's often that the narcissistic chooses someone who is actually just like them. I know that sounds odd, but narcissism is born from insecurity and very low self esteem, and they don't get into relationships with people who are secure. They choose people who are just as insecure as they are, and desire external validation just as much as they do. People who are insecure tend to miss the stable park bench to sit on with their significant other because 'it's too boring', and they'd rather sit on a seesaw where you and your partner are depending on each other's struggle for control to provide a really fun, addicting ride regardless of the abuse you endure or the other has to endures. So, depending on the matchup, the weaker one in one toxic relationship, has the same sort of makeup and potential to be the strong one in another toxic relationship with someone else who is also just as insecure. Look up 'the dance of the narcissist and co-dependent'.. it's an interesting insight into the dynamic.. and how they are both really narcissistic... co-dependency in a way is just inverted narcissism... the co-dependent is attaching themselves to the narcissist because they want something from them like validation (through abuse)... and the narcissist wants the co-dependents validation that they're 'perfect' and 'amazing' by controlling them (through abuse.)

[@arib3871]

Trevor Langsett WoW this was a great description

[@sunnyadams5842]

​@@trevorlangsett2735That is granular in a few new ways I hadn't yet thought of!! Enjoyed both comments you made here. Amazingly clear thinking, my friend. Thanks

[@endthefed1448]

This is her, this is her (my ex!!!). All points that you mention describe her to the TEE !!!!! She broke off calling me a psychopath and I went into depression because of her for 3 months. Thank you for this video Michelle. Thank you, thank you, thank you !!

[@kennethtavares707]

This is an incredible video. 22 years of marriage and I have never realized that I was in a narcissistic relationship with my wife. Two years ago my kids told me she was narcissistic person and that is when I started looking into this. Most of the red flags you brought out was in my marriage. We have a Downe syndrome 21 year old boy and lives with me cause she wants her own life. Thanks for the video. My name is Ken.

[@sunnyadams5842]

Hi Ken!! How's it going now??

[@audreyandrea460]

Ken, you are a good man! God bless you.

[@kendu5636]

Don’t deny your intuition like I did. It killed me. In the end I knew it was correct. The worst was my regret for not following my gut. Drop her fast. Guaranteed bad news. I’ve been there and still suffer from it! Never assume others have your integrity. They don’t!

[@VINTAGEO]

I don't think we men are pushovers so much as we are blindsided and confused as to what the hell is going on in this relationship! I am currently in one and have been for 2 years, but I am realizing what's going on. I lost my business last year because my partner no longer wanted to work with me, I had no idea why, but now I am seeing that my relationship probably had a lot to do with it, it CHANGED me. I have tried to leave her several times, even had cops involved, but she would show up in the middle of the night in the pouring rain crying, what's a guy with a heart to do?! Then it starts all over again, but this time even more cunning than the last. I have been isolated from friends, family, etc. I always feel on the defensive, walking on eggshells in MY house! Not anymore! I have cut all ties and I have some family and friends left to help. It's extremely hard when you actually LOVE someone and nothing you ever do seems to work! Total craziness!! I was ashamed to admit that I was being abused by a woman, that's not supposed to happen to a man! BULLSHIT!!! It can happen to anyone!! I wrote this about a month ago on another video pertaining to the same issue, but I think it needs to be heard everywhere! Michelle you are great and have amazing insight and information on this topic! Thanks for what you do..

[@dwalter2259]

It will change you. I lost myself in my relationship. I was always confident but when I got with her I was always second guessing myself and feeling down.

[@CrossFitTRG]

Good to hear you are out

[@erlycuyler]

I can relate my brother! I have zero friends anymore. Went for over a year not talking to any family members. Instead of walking on eggshells,I compare it walking blindfolded in a field of rakes. We are married but she left me two days ago. Good luck to you my friend.

[@nopcshere6097]

I feel you dude. I was you once. My former wife and her NMom and NDad were verbally, financially and emotionally abusive to me for most of our 9 years of marriage. My former wife put her NMom and NDad first - there was NO TIME for our marriage because her parents mattered first, and I was EXPECTED to serve THEM. Now I am free of them and involved with the love of my life who is SO GOOD to me and treats me like a human being! Good women DO EXIST.

[@understandyourmind]

I do also videos about narcissistic experience. Yes it is about ignoring red flags because they are so attractive and also we are not experienced on subject whatsoever. Not a person will step into same river after this experience, after they know about narcissism, red flags, gut feelings and so on ... We stepped into that river because we never even had an idea that something like this exist. It is very eyes opening and toxic and deep experience that will change us but that's ok. We can help other people become more aware

[@brianwalsh1401]

Unfortunately a lot of people will "step into the river" as you put it because they don't really get what happened to them. In fact most people keep doing it thinking the next time will be different and it will be different if people do the work on themselves. Healthy people with good self-esteem might pick up on what happened to them and learn from it. People who come from dysfunctional families and have no self esteem or boundaries are likely to get into another one of these relationships because being treated like this is unfortunately familiar.

[@carefulcarpenter]

There are many unhealthy people in society. I have spent many years on my spiritual journey. 17 years if I was to give a length of time. In general, these narcissistic traits are found in many groups. *"LOVE is listening"* 🐡

[@audrabrizendine4799]

The narc I was with never ever wanted to talk like adults.. I could come to him with tears asking what can we do to fix our relationship but he never wanted to talk he’d actually say I’m not gonna fight with you!! I’d be shocked!! I would be talking in a normal respectful tone but he’d act as if I was yelling screaming cursing!! I never felt resolution and once I stepped back I realized I never really felt close to him.. I thought at times I did I really loved him but as look at our relationship in hindsight I always felt like I was working so so hard to prove the love I felt. I always thought my love would be relayed and felt by this person and it apparently never was.. it’s like an incomplete feeling that real love doesn’t feel like.. I too became accustomed to his behaviors so I wouldn’t say anything about the things that hurt me I knew it would b pointless and create another problem. I started to kind of like the silent treatment because at least then he wasn’t picking on me.. we could have a great day and then the next day I’d get ignored as if I had done something wrong.. it made me feel crazy and very unimportant.. I decided to leave the toxic situation only to be hovered months later and stupid me accepted his attempt.. I now regret it and I knew better I’ve watched these videos and have heard never ever go back.. he played me again I guess so he could be the one to let me go.. literally I spent the night he said he’d call me later that afternoon he called me but hung up when I answered and I haven’t heard from him since.. so now I have to start over to get to the point I had gotten to after I left I was not thinking about him I was starting to feel confident again. I’ll be ok and I guess I just had to give it 1 more go to really accept that he will never love me. Thank you for these videos they are the best information and advice !

[@markvickroy6725]

OMG. This. No one ever really made this point. I was always "yelling" I really yelled 3 times, in 3 years. Twice at the end smh. So... I could only whisper my concerns. Of course the first....year if I had any issues I got "I'm gonna leave, I'm gonna scream" etc. Ugh.

[@starlingswallow]

This sounds exactly like my ex 💔😥 Please, please break it off, cold turkey, no-contact & block her on social media and in your phone so you aren't reeled back in by her "I miss my boyfriend" crap. You mentioned "she's hot". Let me tell you, looks shouldn't be the sole reason you stay in an abusive/toxic relationship. The reasons you should stay is if you're respected, loved, ACCEPTED FOR WHO YOU ARE, someone who can calmly communicate their needs to you and hear you out calmly in return. She has double standards. Expect 100% but gives you ZERO (like Michelle mentioned!!). *You only get ONE LIFE TO LIVE....don't waste it on someone like this!*

[@xantonify]

Narcissistic traits: They see themselves as best at everything. Cooking,work,family,sports etc. Never apologize and claiming to never be wrong. You always gets the blame when things go sideways. They brag about themselves You must walk on eggshells and carefully select words when talking, to avoid conflict. They tell stories to their collegues,friends and family and tries to win everybodies attention and admiration. They are materialistic and waste alot of money Threwing tantrums and acting like a child Projecting their weaknesses to you. Calling you immature,selfish etc. Loves drama and tries to get involved with other peoples problems to feed their ego. Wanting to control everything, if you suggest a place to go travel,eat,enjoy. Narcissists will change your plans to their liking and avoiding ur wants and needs. You're getting very little seduction,love,sex after the beginning phase and it's always when they feel you have followed through their plan. Gets mad and jelous overy nonsense things, could be a much older woman/man who's your collegue and they hate to see you close to them talking alone etc. Cuts ties with your social life, making you contact your family and friends less. They want your focus on them only. Tell you can't manage things on your own and tries to prevent you from success. Work,school, changing tires,repair the bicycle whatever. They seem to disagree too much and almost on everything you love. They hate themselves and may also tell you that but can talk bad about you for loving yourself. Telling you how can you manage life on your own when they're gone? Talking about how celebrities and famous people look like them. Few compliments and they also like to talk how attractive other people are infront of you to make you mad and that they would marry a certain actor,singer,celebrity if he just asked them. Telling you how they want a man/woman to be,act,dress who is "enough" for them and in a sneaky way add in things to say they hate when they know you have that trait or clothing style. Hope any of this comes to help to you guys, i may add in a few later i may know of. As of now i actually had witnessed these traits in partner sadly.

[@VincentHexx]

I'm going through ALL of these at once right now... She's good at this and we've been together for 15 years. It just came to light last year and I had no idea at all.. but the signs were all right there and IN MY FACE.. but she is that good at it that I was just blind to it.

[@toneman335]

I have learned that you must always maintain strong boundaries and never compromise them. That is the difference between someone who is strong and someone who is weak.

[@corsicanlulu]

also if ur always arguing when dating?....how will it magically get better in marriage? it definitely wont. if u dont like the person, how can u stay married to them for life? it just cant work

[@thundavolt]

The BPD is strong in this situation.

[@kataldo9715]

Huge credit to this young male subscriber for his strength, courage & wisdom to write in and actually address these issues, this SHOWS that he is truly thinking (& with the big head & NOT just the little one too ... which gets a ton of men into MASSIVE TROUBLE too!!) ... so again, HUGE CREDIT TO THIS YOUNG MALE SUBSCRIBER FOR BEING MATURE ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY WRITE IN & ADDRESS THIS!! He should be extremely proud of himself!! Now, onto my second point = HE SOULD RUN SCREAMING FOR THE HILLS AS FAR AWAY FROM THIS TOXIC, EVIL POSSESSED DEAMON AS POSSIBLE & SAVE HIS LIFE, HIS MENTAL HEALTH & HIS FUTURE FAMILY TOO!! This is beyond a recipe for 100% PURE DISASTER & one that *WILL* result in any future children getting DIRECTLY HARMED IN SEVERAL WAYS TOO ... just look at and ask any other Dad who is going through / has already been down this same/similar "hot girl nightmare" & THE HIGH PRICE THAT THEIR KIDS PAID for what was essentially a hot piece of @$$ ... who the hot piece of @$$ WILL FADE on too!! Back in the day, I was ... and many still consider me to be a fellow "hot girl" & I have been around TONS of these toxic types myself & I for one CAN'T STAND THEM &/or the nightmare torture I see them put truly good men through as well. My REAL, Real Man is a very ordinary looking, very simple man & I BEYOND COMPLETELY ADORE HIM & RESPECT HIM!! He takes excellent care of MY HEART & to me, this is what matter the most ~ to me!! Yes, I've been told countless time that I'm "not normal" when it comes to these types of thing, AND THANK GOD ... Who I do thank, each and every day!! What many men & people are ACTUALLY TRULY UP AGAINST THESES DAYS is known as The Jezebel Spirit & much of this all coincides DIRECTLY with End Times prophecy. I would strongly encourage you to take a much LARGER STEP BACK & LOOK at other things going on all over the globe, research End Times prophecy events happening ALL OVER THE WORLD & you will start to see that what is REALLY GOING ON ~ much larger scale ~ globally ~ TRULY IS End Times Spiritual Warfare. I would encourage you to get truly right with God, our most high God, and once you do, trust me, He WILL SEND YOU THE RIGHT PERSON & an excellent wife and future mother who WILL TRULY BLESS YOUR LIFE & in many, many ways ... including "BEING A HOT GIRL" TOO!! ~ Which, is what my REAL, Real Christian Man says all the time to me ... which is just one of the countless super sweet & yes, super hot qualities that my Heavenly Father blessed my life with too!! And trust me, we are the "oddest, odd couple" from worldly standards out there too; you should see the looks we get when we go out in public ~ we just laugh together BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW WE WERE DIVINELY BROUGHT TO EACH OTHER!! The outside world thinks he is either "super rich, or super hung" as the saying goes ... little do they know, it was actually HIS AUTHENTIC HEART THAT'S WHAT FIRST TRULY CAUGHT MY EYE ... and then, CAPTURED MY HEART ... and as they say, the rest is history ... and a history BUILT ON THE STRONGEST FOUNDATION THERE IS ... Our JOINT love, respect & honoring of building our relationship based upon the firm foundation of Our Heavenly Father, above *ALL ELSE* ~ most especially, above any & all worldly standards types of things, like she is *ONLY* a "hot girl," (other then that, she is a PURE NIGHTMARE / DEAMON / WOLF IN SHEEPS CLOTHING as the Biblical WARNING TEACHES US!!) Wishing this young viewer all the best & strongly encourage him to PRAY ... & pray some more ... and trust that God *WILL* send him exactly what he prays for too!! My man prayed for a woman who "is super clingy cuddly wise" & BOY DID HE EVER GET HIS PRAYERS SERIOUSLY ANSWERED ON THIS FRONT TOO, because I cuddle up to him "like cling wrap" he says ;-) just one of the many, many things we have both realized over time are the EXACT QUALITIES WE BOTH PRAYED ABOUT WANTING & NEEDING IN A LIFETIME PARTNER ... and we both got what we prayed for and was/is the MOST IMPORTANT QUALITIES too!! So pray to God & go to work on building your own life getting it ready for when God see to it that she WILL walk directly into your life & change your world forever ~ for the better ~ TRULY BETTER TOO ... & then, from that point on, the two of you can build your lives and future family together from there. The first step is DUMP THIS CURRENT NIGHTMARE YOU REFER TO AS A "girlfriend," she is NO "girlfriend," she is a SOUL ASSASSIN looking to suck your life and your soul out of you ~ ONLY YOU CAN STOP THE ABUSE & LEARN FROM IT ~ & PROTECT YOUR HEART FOR THE TRULY WORTHY WOMAN WHO IS ALREADY LOOKING FOR YOU ~ SEEKING YOU ~ WANTING YOU ~ because she can't and won't be ABLE to come to you UNTIL you DUMP of this current 100% COMPLETE NIGHTMARE!! It all starts by cleaning up your current 'situation' ... and then, going to work on yourself & your self-care ... making room for the REAL HOT ~ ON ALL LEVELS, STARTING WITH HER HEART ~ WOMAN THAT GOD ALREADY HAS WAITING IN THE WINGS FOR YOU!! You deserve to be happy & so do your future kids & family too!! That is a RESPONSIBILITY THAT AS A REAL, REAL YOUNG MAN YOURSELF ~ YOU MUST LEARN TO *TRULY LEAD* ON TOO!! Please find some excellent, truly God honoring REAL MEN, men who know the differences between TRUE LEADERSHIP vs. 'dictatorship' & LEARN FROM THEM ... who knows, one of them may have a daughter who might be perfect for you too ... who better to help you "land the girl" then her own, strong Christian father too?? I was just prompted to share this thought with you ... may your life be TRULY & AUTHENTICALLY BLESSED!! ~ 💞🙏🏻🙇🏻‍♀️🙏🏻💓...

[@joshuabailey346]

This is exactly what I went through. I’d talk in a nice tone but she’d always tell me I’m being mean when she’d talk to me in this mean sassy tone and I was like am I going insane but I’d literally apologize to her every time 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@lyndiacurtis2065]

Seen this many times with looks being such a priority red flags are ignored, great video!

[@marlanaferro1558]

Truth be told!

[@bluenetmarketing]

The worst part of a narcissist, is realizing that you didn't see them and their wrecking ball coming. Not only are you broken from the feelings of loss, you are also left drifting endlessly because you don't know how to prevent it from happening again. It's like not being able to see a trap hole in the ground when going about your normal day. Now it is impossible to know who to trust since we don't have the skills to see the disaster coming. It is doubly the most disconcerting things to encounter. What other people in our lives are also narcissists that we don't yet see? It turns the whole world into one big minefield. Everywhere you step, a bomb can go off. I'm not sure anyone can ever get over that. The only safe choice is to withdraw, completely.

[@warrencardwell6706]

Michele thanks for all you do, as you are helping a lot of people recover from narcissistic abuse including myself. Beautiful flowers in the back ground by the way.

[@Inkwaziflyfishing]

I think that is really valuable to hear about female narcissistic behavior. All too often the perception is that this is predominantly a male trait. But men find themselves in relationships with narcissistic women all the time and don't recognize it or don't find the help and advice they need. Unfortunately I know this first hand, and more than once have made the same mistake. It is imperative that men understand that there are narcissistic women out there and they are not responsible for "fixing them".

[@gomenos54]

I totally agree with you, "we did not listen to our gut instinct" hence the prolonged suffering.

[@chris_77796]

excellent video and content, michelle! so important to inform people about the red flags for identifying those horrible relation disorders and behaviors that will ultimately destroy people!

[@BokushingusKendoTV]

Ohh man I totally understand what he’s going through. Once my exgf silent treatment lost power over me, she would become extremely critical of almost everything I did or say. Within six month, I was dumped. For weeks I tried to figure what I did wrong and I kept asking myself was it me was I selfish for not giving into her demands. Her last sentence to me was, “you are a good guy you need to find someone that will love you for you. I’m sorry but I don’t love you anymore and I don’t want to be with you anymore and I’m in love with someone else.” That made me question everything about myself. But I know now, it wasn’t me.

[@mentalhibees]

definitely wasn't you, they cannot love anyone

[@garymullins7431]

Walk away and don't look back.They live in a world that we will never know.

[@alphyzqrw7222]

Be strong man I was in the same situation

[@Steffi5376]

@bokush Wow this helped so much. He was narc too but during one of our lasts convos, he ended things then came back (typical hoovering huh) and got on the phone and said similar things like I deserve to be happy. He never gave a real reason though and told me I can think whatever I want so that made me question if it's me too and trust me that feeling is so hard to overcome. But now I know that that's just the way they play I guess. I'm glad someone else went through something similar to what I did, let's not believe their lies no more, and hearing others' stories does help with my healing as well so thank you too. So sorry to everyone who has encountered narcissists, you certainly don't deserve it and we'll get out of this alive 💪 @intx Sadly what you said is true, from my experience, he would only be genuinely interested in my if he got jealous as well. But it's really not worth it tbh I would rather have nothing to do with them than to be love bombed. Let's not manipulate the manipulators and become manipulators ourselves, we are and deserve so much better than that!

[@z00011001]

I think she was nice. She definitely was not narcisstic one. Yours is case of bad chemistry. Narcisstic ones are like living with a rapist except that you cannot prove any rape.!

[@charlycheer]

Off topic but love the setting of this video. It makes such a dark topic brighter :)

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

Thanks - its my front yard =)

[@kunkunaku]

How dare you get off topic! LOL

[@SoundOfFreedom67]

I was just thinking how nice it looks, and I like her hair like that, too. : )

[@arcticablue]

Yes, the flowers are so pretty!

[@philknight7954]

From Surviving To Thriving!! You could use a village devastated by a tsunami as the background...and still brighten the scene. Why can't I meet a woman like you

[@anonymouslee2083]

To this poor guy, I have one word: RUN!

[@kens9775]

Thank you for the great information videos on this topic. It's very helpful for people who want to avoid the potential of ever being in another narcissistic relationship. I recognized over time it can really mess a person up being exposed to their unstable behavior, especially when there are children in the home. You always worry about their safety when a violent narcissist is constantly in denial of their disorder, it takes a toll on everyone in the home.

[@musicseamus1231]

Thank you Michele for your insight into this subject of narcissism. I have learnt so much from what you are saying. I can tell you are a kind, caring person. I'm so glad you too recovered from this abuse. Your radiance is proof of that.

[@tommytommy7096]

Thank you for sharing this young man story.

[@EMEGONZALEZTRKING]

Definitely can relate to that,thanks a lot Michelle for reminding us how those monsters do there thing!

[@kevinseraphimday6373]

Been such a life-long narc-magnet, I can't remember the last time I heard "I'm sorry" from anyone!

[@durrelljackson1824]

Michelle you are such a great Narc coach. You coaching conveys so much of love, respect & understanding for both victims and abusers. It's so easy to aquire their traits as I see so often. The narc suffered abuse but never transitioned out of it. I can observe their w/o absorbing or trying to rescue them. They are lost souls as wasI before my healing journey. I simply wasn't an abuser. Thanks for your work.

[@walterwhite751]

3.5 years with a female npd. Off and on 20x due to her ridiculousness. Ay the drop of a hat her mood would change and her behavior would be raging and flipping out over NOTHING

[@FirstLast-js3ip]

Walter White it's something and ur close to finding out ...hahahahhahhahhahahahahhahah ...yup they sense it and they will show it and u will be projected on

[@billg9502]

Walter White /I hate to sell and move but I lived with this woman thats a narc and has a medical condition. She knows that I am a empath . A nightmare but not my wife .

[@billg9502]

Walter White / She won,t leave.

[@austing.8870]

You're spot on with all of this. I got into a relationship with a narc 3 years ago, and it just ended a few months ago. I saw all of these red flags like a super inflated sense of ego, emotional fragility, emotional unavailability, defensiveness, stonewalling, manipulation, lying, insecurity, impulsivity, ease to anger, lack of boundaries, lack of loyalty, lack of respect for me at all, and abusive and hurtful criticisms. I felt like I had to walk on eggshells constantly. This was all obvious, and I was blinded by love/infatuation and I just ignored it because she was really pretty and I had wanted to be with her for a while. After getting to know her, it was obvious that the relationship was going to be on her terms or no terms. She belittled and disrespected my family constantly, badmouthed me to her friends and was hoping that I would cheat on her so she could dump me, would start fights over the dumbest, most insignificant details like accidentally forgetting an eggroll with Chinese takeout for example, and these fights would last 2-3 days, and in that time she'd passive aggressively throw digs at me, then gaslight me and threaten to leave me. It hurt so much that I wasn't even critiquing her on anything anymore and I wasn't able to raise any concerns about her behavior without fearing a breakup. She got controlling and possessive as well, and she could go hang out with her friend John whenever, and even went on a date with another guy while we were dating, but anytime another female came within 15 feet of me (including my lesbian friend), she would get jealous manipulate me into not ever having any female friends. Eventually I confided in a female friend that had been in an abusive relationship, and related to me a lot, and ended up being emotionally unfaithful to my girlfriend, because I felt like I didn't have a place in my relationship anymore, and I couldn't communicate with her at all without fear of being scorned and dismissed, and she found out about it and broke up with me, and demanded that I have all of my stuff out by the next day while she was out enjoying herself. I understand that what I did was still wrong and I should have gotten out, but I just felt this sense of being unable to. I needed her validation to make me happy, which was something that I never needed before, so she in essence made me as co-dependent as she was, and I felt like I didn't deserve any better. When she left though, I lost a family, a lot of friends, my living situation, and my sense of self. It's been a month and a half, and she's already got another boyfriend, and it's taking so much to put my life back together after this. Honestly, my mother is exactly the same way, and always made me submit to her will to avoid being punished (i.e. getting tossed out of my house or whatnot). I think this is the reason that I've pretty much dated nothing but controlling, narcissistic women (with this last one being a true NPD), and I just have to understand that this behavior isn't right and I shouldn't accept it. I deserve better for myself and for my relationships.

[@latoyawatts168]

Austin G. Hey dude I felt every bit of your words I was with a Narc female for many years off and on and she was way older than me , I want a better and Great person to come into my life as well but since I’ve grown I spot red flags of women just like that and I cut them loose early

[@brianwalsh1401]

You were trained by your mother to be ok with women like this. There is a familiarity with this behavior because of your mother. You need to heal your mother wound. She should have been the safe, loving place to be and she wasn't.

[@brandonpinto5290]

Holy shit! It's like me and you dated the same person😮 She was EXACTLY like your ex and even the circumstances are similar. At the end of the "relationship" I became emotionally unfaithful to her after confiding with a normal woman. I knew it was wrong but I had no other choice as I was isolated from all my friends and even family. By the time the new woman and I became close,the narc had decided to dump me and she did.

[@cruisemurray2161]

Well said. Everything, every word is on point. Great speech

[@waynew5878]

So true , when you experience all those red flags you don't look at them the same. Experiencing this treatment will in time make u feel different about them & they will lose their shine in your eyes no matter how attractive they maybe on the surface.

[@breakthroughmoment1647]

Really enjoyed this video. Like the metaphors you use.

[@davekyle6096]

"My girlfriend is focussing on tiny details..." Yes, I believe a Narcissist looks for any possible negative to support her Devaluation Phase. My lovely ex-Narcissist justified her multiple affairs by telling me I "left water droplets around the sink, which disrespected her cleaning efforts." She also didn't like my "leaving chocolate bar wrappers (maximum one about once a month) on the tv table".

[@go-goakins1489]

Great segment! I always learn so much from you Michelle! Thank you 🙏

[@bh1529]

I was married for 20 years and eventually learnt after we broke up that I was psychologically and emotionally abused by my the wife and was too afraid during my marriage to think this through because I did not want to understand what i would find looking deeper about my relationship.When she left that moment I felt devastated but then an overwhelming sense of relieve and free.

[@maryelizabethrogers4481]

The fact that he is writing Michelle means he already knows his girlfriend is not normal. He knows there is something wrong. And there is something very wrong, and it won't get better! If he marries her, this toxic game will be his life.

[@TheSanityMachine33]

You're pretty awesome. This video will help a lot of people!

[@Purple_911]

I love that you make videos outside with pretty flowers behind you. you're beautiful and it's just peaceful

[@jimivey6462]

Excellent video! Clear and succinct.

[@JimKJeffries]

I was you, I married her & gave her my best for 17+ years. I am awesome & she was hot. If you understand that emotional abuse is effective only when there is a kernel of truth, then free yourself by giving your best, always, in all ways, & know your human & love yourself. If you do the last part, she will leave you. Mentally ill abusive people can not stand being loved or around healthy people or situations. Learn to love yourself & how you were addicted to testosterone & then she got you hooked on dopamine & validation. You are worthy of love. Give the task, the day, your best & you will know how awesome you are in a manner that can not be took or given. Know you are loved.

[@atro29]

A narcissist really messed me up. They hooked me into becoming emotionally invested initially by manipulating me into liking them so they can validate themselves for being desirable for their own ego and then started with most of the red flags you mentioned.

[@brianwalsh1401]

It's what they all do. i hope you are ok. Being away from these vampires is definitely a start.

[@harshaananya]

Your videos have been very helpful. This one brings so much of it all home in this one video. Thanks

[@sandwichguy1997]

I yelled "Oh my gosh" a couple of times during this video. Thank you.

[@TheSeoforhire]

Thank you, this really reminded me of the mess I liberated myself from this summer.

[@brianwalsh1401]

Good. Your lucky. A lot of people stay stuck for long periods of time.

[@buddyduddyful]

Western society promotes female narcissism as a way to empower Woman.

[@KingofgraceSARA]

Screw femnazi-ism. Sincerely, an American woman.

[@drewtrulock333]

I agree it gives certain women who want to abuse that power the victim card which they can go to extreme members to smear an ex really yikes stuff

[@android584]

Viewing men as disposable commodities to be used up seems to be encouraged more than accepting men for who they are are and working with them to start a healthy family. Our birth rate is below replacement level for a reason. Of course men are encouraged to be immature, feminised porn addicts too.

[@AbelSFR]

Wow you nailed it on the head... this exactly was my relationship for 17 years. All I have to say is run!

[@houcemeddineothman1313]

OMG, that is so true. I run away from such type of relationship, but only thanks to this video I started to put labels to all the toxic behavior that I had to endeavor.

[@dandreadyson2267]

My advise to the man in this post. This is a hamster wheel situation. These types of Devils don't want peace. They keep moving the goal post when you have corrected a supposed flaw they pionted out in your life. These types of Devils thrive on conflict to keep you confused so they can control and manipulate you. She might be some beautiful eye candy on your arm however its not worth having your soul and sanity stripped away. I was in your situation during my mid 20's and my dearly departed mother of ninety one years old gave me some simple down home saged advice that snaped me out of my spell. She said "Son" you can't stay in the bed forever. You got to eventually come out of the bed and deal with reality. The bed analogy was the amazing sex with the DRAMA NARC girlfriend. The reality outside of the bed was the Hamster Wheel. Going around in circles dealing with DRAMA!

[@sexybaby21lovely]

do you just get more beautiful with every video ? ♥_♥ love all the topics so thankful you're taking the time to make them♥♥

[@raycooper3940]

Cat I agree lol

[@teamrockbottomtruth7998]

Great videos! I’ve really been trying to let go of my ex narc. We were engaged for two years and a month after the discard she is already dating a new supply. It has been hard beyond belief but your videos have helped get in the right direction.

[@janice3691]

Run!!!!!! You deserve so much better.

[@tonytaglalucci7778]

Great video! I'm going through the same thing and my ex girlfriend has all 17 traits... I'm on my way out but she's making it very difficult and it's true the attraction is almost none now...

[@iaap123]

To the young man who wants to marry the "hot" one - three words: DON'T DO IT!!

[@charlescastro5788]

Totally true Man, i noticed that narcisist traits are More common in hot women, i dated this really hot chick (she even did Some modeling in her spare Time) for about 5 months, the first month was amazing, she really treated me like i was special and important, but after that it became hell, it was just true narcisistic behaviour. The fun part, if that even when i dumped her, i still miss her and i still attached to her even when i know how a bad person she was to me. Man narcs are addictive, be careful.

[@drewtrulock333]

Yes dad

[@johnnicholson956]

This is so full of wisdom. Thank you.

[@lonniemills9963]

I am so glad I found your videos. I have been going through this for awhile. I am with a woman who does all of these things.

[@KevinEarley]

Dude! I married your girlfriend. LOL I feel for you. After 23 years of being abused and three young children later, she is actually even more abusive. This won't ever get better and will likely get worse.

[@sunnyadams5842]

😂🤣🤣😭😁

[@lezg5071]

The tangles that these narc s get you in is unbelievable.. such a waste of everyone's time and energy. I will never forget her eyes ..they were devilish but her smile was as nice and radiant. I was warned by my own subconscious bit sadly i ignored

[@gwh731]

Thanks for giving honest, truthful advice about relationships. You are a good egg.

[@cjay5995]

Michelle you are amazing your videos have helped me to pin point narcissism period! Thank you so much!

[@drkeertim9650]

Dear Empaths , The only way to survive a narcissist is run away and save yourself . Healing from sun god to you .

[@nobodysomebody2719]

Yea, I hear you bro! I wasted 7 years with a woman exactly like yours. I couldn't look where I wanted, say what I wanted, watch t.v as I wanted, touch her or try to get romantic without her making it into something perverted. Never took responsibility for all the drama she started. Argued almost everyday. Never had any passion not even one real kiss ever. No intimacy no concern for my emotional or physical needs. Rather then be intimate she'd say take a sleeping pill and leave me alone! Bro, the meaning of the name Devil is: the deceiver. You'll never fix her. She deceived you from the beginning . now you're hooked. The deceiver Wil continue to deceive you if you stay with her. Even the devil will wear a priest robe and swear on the bible to deceive you! Narcissict are relationship ruiners. They spread their evil and deceit from one person to the next. With no care or empathy. They are joyful to see you in misery. It's their emotional supply of content. Knowing your miserable. Then they dump you to ruin yet another person. In a nut shell no the devil isn't mentally ill only emotionally ill. Just like the Devil the narcissist is the same. As a rose is a rose by any other name! Narcissist is a made up contemporary label for the word deceiver. The Devil!

[@sunnyadams5842]

I COUKD NIT SAT HALLELUJAH any louder. So right on. I did not know that evil, true evil walked this earth uncaged. I was secueved for😢 over a decade. But when the scales finally fell from my eyes?? There's just no unseeing some things!! I just couldn't believe the depth of the deception !

[@tbcgbvcb]

Yo, Michele! You nailed it! I can relate to every single point and the come to mind when you mention. I've been thru it all with my ex

[@jumbuckskycap5198]

Watching Michele I feel healing inside