Feminine School: The Medium Maintenance Woman!

[@JasmineGary]

I’m leaving a marriage where I was mid-maintenance. I drank the equality tea and ended up doing EVERYTHING! Bringing home the bacon, cooking it, cleaning up, and majority of the child-rearing. That silent resentment crept up and tick-tick-boom! I loved having a family but carrying all of that was not my cup of tea. I love my career and love nurturing my family BUT I require maintenance that allows me to be the natural nurturer that I am and be feminine. I can keep a house but need help in my mate, child, and an outside cleaner every now and then. I’m learning SO much about the inner conflict I felt in my romantic relationships.

[@djr3501]

🖐🏾 I left! Best decision I ever made.

[@cherylmia]

You did what was right. I am proud of you 🌹💕

[@GoldSkye]

Been there sis. Being free of it is a relief.

[@denisewhite3902]

Many married women are in this predicament. I’ve read studies which stated that married women were the least happiest group along with single men. Whilst single women and married men were seen as the most happiest. I’m happily married myself (he is a provider though) but I believe this is one of the reasons many women file for divorce. It’s too much work.

[@JaviOsei]

I am doing the same!!! I already feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Kudos to you for putting your happiness first and having standards.

[@cherylmia]

"Gold digger is a term used by men who have neither women nor money" Period.

[@EvieAswiti]

Cheryl Daniel & thats on standard.

[@ms.x1669]

Louder 🔊🔊🔊

[@lydiamoon5235]

And that's that on THAT! Whew!

[@Cayico]

YES!!!!😂😂😂❤❤❤

[@missmicah6222]

@@lydiamoon5235 My mom edited my writing once and told me I love using the word "that." So I love this comment!

[@amandaspaintinglessons9908]

If you have to go 50/50 because of your income, then find a female friend/platonic roommate instead of going 50/50 with a man and giving up the cookie.

[@TiffAny-ph1kc]

Great idea

[@andreapotter9110]

What about a male sibling

[@luxuryedition78]

@angelbabe That is such truth!!🙌🏾✊🏾💯

[@sugarncupcakes]

100%

[@gracillemillington3368]

True...true

[@imandalton4227]

Every day my husband tells me how blessed he is to have me and I don't work. I cook our vegetarian meals, take my oldest son to work and pick him up 3 days a week, make sure chores are done daily, homework, and i am better at finances then he is and he has 2 businesses- 1 in lawncare and being a barber. I do our taxes every year, create our household budget, and keep track of our life insurance policies, emergency savings, etc. I haven't worked since we had our first child and we have 4. That 2 income trap is a huge con especially after children. I took care of myself as a woman before him so why should a grown man need me to help him pay anything and expect respect. I was taught that a man is suppose to make your life better not more stressed. I know I've improved my husband's life and our children who are in martial arts, one headed to college on an academic scholarship, one teaching herself Japanese and playing the flute, all while being well mannered and balanced children is the fruits of being a stay at home mom. And I'm in fantastic shape and get the rest and relaxation i need to be my best for myself and my family. Our traditional roles aren't a mistake. It's only when our roles aren't respected that we feel less for not working "like a man". But real men see femininity for the Godsend it is to them.

[@NaomiMordi]

"It's only when our roles aren't respected that we feel less for not working "like a man". But r-eal men see femininity for the Godsend is to them." 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@empirestate4110]

You are a lucky woman. My husband appreciated me being home before. Now money is tight he is pushing me out the door to go work

[@shanacooks2796]

Nice!!

[@purpleflows5680]

Thank you for naming the two income trap. It is a trap and is creating more disaster and slavery than people know.

[@truthinchocolate6156]

Imma - Are you open to doing an interview or discussion on how you accomplish all of these things? I have a channel that focuses on being a high quality wife and would love to talk to someone like you!

[@unstoppableme466]

I've been all three: started out high maintenance because of how the women in my family raised me, ended up drinking the feminist kool-aid and became a medium maintenance woman which resulted in me being a low maintenance woman, used, depressed, angry and drained. Lol. I'm back on my shit though, back to common sense, my roots and knowing my worth. When I was high maintenance, there was a rumor about me that you had to have money to date me and like boo the fool I Iistened to the young and dumb (probably jealous) girls around me instead of the WOMEN who tried to put me on game early.

[@PhenomenalDoe]

Same. I'm working my way out of it now. Stay focused and be encouraged, sis! 🏆💖

[@zainamaniakimakelly9219]

This is my life story right here...back on my shit too sis

[@JasmineGary]

That’s a great rumor to have. 😉

[@SagRising19]

Stay high maintenance❤

[@jjblack4905]

congrats

[@lizalbert8650]

DON'T DO IT LADIES IT'S A TRAP.... I DID IT, IN MY EARLY 20s not worth it. LEVELED UP AND FOUND A PROVIDER MAN WHO MARRIED ME... Screw that, it's a trap... Rest in your femininity and don't fall into that trap. Let him figure his ish out by myself. Let him invest in you... TRUST HE WILL FIGURE IT OUT BY HIMSELF, LET HIM BE THE MAN...

[@nicestar2198]

Yeah and honestly a real alpha man would know how to figure things out and do it and make money everytime a man ask for help i act clueless and im always "broke" because those are his job to figure out

[@lizalbert8650]

@@nicestar2198 Ooooooooook say it louder for the ones in the back... Man are hardwired to solve problems. Let him find his solution for himself. That was his mum's job to coddle him. Not ours, rest in your femininity. Be willing to receive and say thank you. You don't have to help a man financially for him to want to be with you. Rest Queens and follow Chloe's page, she not only teaches but, she emphasizes how this is a lifestyle and you can have it, no gimmicks we were made to receive. Hell we bring life into this world, THAT'S THE WHOLE DAMN TABLE... ❤

[@brittanytaylor4587]

My mother always tells my sisters as o that if a man is not willing to take care of you he’s either taking care of someone else or not a man.

[@sheshe30341]

I'm a stay-home wife--my husband pays the bills and takes me on dates; buys gifts when he can. I carry nothing, do not mop floors. Do not push carts.I am able to rest. I used to be a mule but hated it. I subscribe to Chloe because I want to grow in this new position and keep this good thing going ☺.

[@Lovejoyful606]

Same here except I cook and clean..I dont cook daily but I do,I want more luxurious things though, my husband could careless about updating things🙄that's the issue I have, it's like if I want it I'll have to literally go get it myself..then I tell myself a range rover isn't important as long as I have a vehicle..🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[@nafeesahassan5469]

@@Lovejoyful606 Level up maybe he'll think you're leaving him and give you a gift you deserve

[@SagRising19]

@@nafeesahassan5469 I agree with this advice. When I got into the gym a few years ago, dropped 30 pounds and partner at that time purchased me a new car.

[@imandalton4227]

Amen

[@thebeautifulwarrior8743]

Goals ❤🧡💛

[@brandyjones3476]

In the beginning of my marriage, I was determined to have a 50/50 marriage. My husband was not happy with this dynamic, but he conceded. 10 years in and at around 35 and I found that this dynamic was not working for us. I put my career aside and focused fully on the household and let hubby handle the rest. It’s the best decision I’ve made. He has no problem being the sole provider and actually thrives in it!! Your commentary was spot on as usual🥰🥰🥰

[@tkfordeful]

Littlebrown Puppy she could always kickstart her career again via temping to bring her resume current and then find something full time. Having connected friends and fam can help too.

[@tkfordeful]

Littlebrown Puppy exactly, you should have “mad money” as they say. Especially if your family wouldn’t have the money for you to be able to go back to them if you divorce.

[@nafeesahassan5469]

@Littlebrown Puppy Invest in something. Or make him cheating a money situation somehow. Get a nice gift.

[@indhiraarrey6855]

Littlebrown Puppy Even if they divorce in America then she would have half of his assets and get child support enough to start from the beginning

[@mochamommyATX]

I AGREE. There was a time when I was working 2 jobs after my husband was laid off. Our marriage was on the ROCKS and it was Christian marriage counseling that saved our marriage. Prov 10 men dont get Prov 31 women. He now works Fulltime + and I work part time. Our RELATIONSHIP is much better now there is a better balance

[@blackgirldiary2363]

I'm currently this woman and I must admit- this is spot on. My man once told me that- paraphrased- it would be great if I could stroke his ego every now and then. My response was "When you do things worthy of praise, I'll give you praise"...I honestly need to rethink my life coz something is seriously wrong here😂

[@EvieAswiti]

Blackgirldiary It’s hard to stroke a mans ego when you’ve been enlightened to hypergamy and he’s not playing that role. It’s extremely hard. I personally cannot fake stroke if he’s not doing anything praise worthy like you said.

[@youreincredible1648]

Its hard to find a man to look after you how you wish if you cant do the same. Tho ofcourse you should never do that.

[@blackgirldiary2363]

@@EvieAswiti You are 100% spot on!

[@ladyfay7777]

@@youreincredible1648 the fact is you show ppl how to treat you. Therefore, you can't expect ANYBODY to do for YOU what you aren't willing to do for YOURSELF.

[@trolleybee5515]

Blackgirldiary I was you in 2013! Girl RUN!! And don’t you dare look back!!!🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️... now I have a real man! A man who is a provider/protector like my father was!!!!🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

[@f.-j.j.5738]

I feel like women are afraid to believe that the Hypergamous lifestyle exists and works because they haven't seen it working in real life examples. That's why they compromise by being medium maintenance women. I have seen those examples in my Dad and his friends so I know men can and want to be sole providers in the home. For my generation, I have my cousin who is carrying her second child and is a SAHM. Her husband is the sweetest, works, provides and insist on taking care of their son. Women need to search their life, find high quality relationships and try to emulate them.

[@MariamAli-wg6gk]

I agree, I‘m the first to admit it. I know women who managed to have this in their lives, but I always feel it’s sth impossible for me😞 also, hearing that you expect too much doesn’t help as well

[@lavellans]

I have a cousin like this too, and it was a breath of fresh air to see her being provided for compared to the relationships I saw. It is definitely possible.

[@jeezywhiz44]

When I got married my mother told me NEVER split the bills, but the dusty I married insisted on it, so I did. Needless to say we divorced 15 yrs later because I found myself paying most of the bills and providing for the entire family, while he squandered his money.

[@monotonya4506]

My dad pays for everything and my mom still works if she wants and keeps the money for herself and not for the household. It’s apart of our culture.

[@sunnydaze80]

In my case, I've always had a fear of a rich man being controlling and/or abusive. I've learned that dusties can be abusive too. My biggest issue is my mother who believes in this 50-50 nonsense and I bought into it too. But when I think about my favorite uncles, they are the ones who are providers and loving fathers. Their wives may have worked part-time or ran a little business, but it was just to have something to do.

[@emmalee5335]

The first time my husband asked me how much I get paid, I politely but firmly told him in other words that my salary was none of his concern and he never asked me again. As far as he is concerned, I'm a volunteer💅

[@comfort9995]

As a muslim woman by the laws of Islam it's none of his business too. I am not required to spend a dime of my money on the house that's his job. If I do it's actually considered as me doing charity 🤷🏾‍♀️💅🏾

[@LunaPaloma77]

@@comfort9995 Amen to that. I'm not Muslim but that's the way it should be. If a man can't afford to finance his own family he shouldn't get married in the first place.

[@comfort9995]

@@LunaPaloma77 Yup, that's why Islam says for those who don't have the means they should lower their gaze and FAST. During fasting, you are prohibited from sexual actions. Not being able to get married is not an excuse for fornication either. When you get the means you can then marry.

[@LunaPaloma77]

@@comfort9995 Exactly. Well said.

[@sarahgivens7182]

My husband doesn't even know my payday

[@EvieAswiti]

Whew. There is “glorified mule” written all over this. Glad you’re shedding light on this!

[@EvieAswiti]

proxyuxer Her vernacular is why I subscribed. 😂

[@EvieAswiti]

proxyuxer very much so 🏆

[@EvieAswiti]

April Harmony that was me too

[@livingabundantly362]

It doesn't take two incomes...just his! The end!

[@EvieAswiti]

and that’s on standard and principle

[@serenitysbubble2384]

Chapter closed 🤣🤣

[@livingabundantly362]

@@EvieAswiti Yes it it!

[@livingabundantly362]

@@serenitysbubble2384 The whole damn book😂

[@wisesavedone2721]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@Dr.SophiaReed]

This is really popular women thinking its there job to do everything. I was in a relationship like that once right out of college and that was enough for me to learn my lesson. This is the trickery so many women fall into thinking they are helping their man and they end up having a man that is like their child and they are stuck doing everything. No thanks.

[@Timetrae]

Girl you betta SAY IT 🗣🗣🗣!!

[@brklyn2922]

Nope! I noticed some men will say you do it better than me and so forth to get you to do more things. Let them work through it. I don't say anything unless he ask for my suggestion. We are not suppose to do everything. I think women need to relax and let them handle it, as long as things get done and he does it. Don't complain about the results. He did it!

[@Melanie-le6mw]

That 50/50 pickmeisha propaganda is a full scam

[@nashonharris7805]

My mom never paid a bill when I was a child, my dad it all.No wonder I admire him so much.

[@denisewhite3902]

Where I use to work there was a girl who just got engaged (her fiancé worked with us) and one day she came to me and said she was fed up of working and asked me if I knew any rich men lmao. I couldn’t believe it. This girl posted her fiancé all over Facebook and she was here pretty much telling me that if a provider came along she will be quick to trade him in.

[@mweusimrembo890]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sonyaagibson]

Good for her. I hope she gets him

[@nicestar2198]

Sad but its never too late

[@GoldSkye]

This is a message NO ONE is talking about. Especially about the mini power struggles. Women are tired and we are lying to ourselves about why. Saving lives as usual Chloe.

[@a_womans_intuition7195]

All the women who found this channel have been saved

[@pronouncethet]

I’m slowly chipping away at how much I contribute financially and I feel my husband sees himself as more of a leader.

[@nataliacampbell7193]

And if he is taking care of someone else on your dime it either his mom or another woman

[@carolecramer5070]

I’m currently mid maintenance mindset working on getting to the hypergamous mindset.

[@carolecramer5070]

It did not work for me. So, I’m watching Your videos and other hypergamous mindset videos.

[@divinemissw]

Me too!

[@carolecramer5070]

Asia Henry, will do. Thanks!

[@prettynpetty8342]

Me too

[@carolecramer5070]

Kendall, we’re going to do this. No more hypogamous dating- hypergamous only!

[@lavellans]

Women I grew up around were like this. They were young, natural beauties. But by their 40s, some even 30s, they looked tired and fading. They were with dusty men or became single mothers. I see now that they weren't actually high maintenance, they just thought they were, and that helped them sleep at night with their consequences. While 10 is more than 0, that doesn't mean it is high 100. Don't let someone have your youth for free.

[@indhiraarrey6855]

In Africa, Cameroon, medium maintenance women are everywhere. Most women are taught from a young age that they should be a men helper and men are taught to love the 50/50 women archetype. Society tell us that a woman must struggle with her man before she can enjoy her marriage. I have personally been taught this by my family and have cousins who are in 50/50 relationships. I have never embraced that philosophy of life that is watching your channel gave me the confirmation that I didn't have an attitude but standard.

[@proactivemimi6473]

Maybe the new generation ,my mum and all my aunties from both side were taken care of ....except from those who are not married, my father was paying all the bills and schools and everything despite my mother having her own job....the only time my mum used her money when was when my father was down....and another auntie wasnt working and her husband provided everything for her ,house,travels to europe ,jewelrries..you name it ..she had it all,she was just taking care of the house ...

[@OrealeXO]

My mom was this way, and she said HELL NO for me. Shit is wild she didn’t really work when in Cameroon but when it came to my dad, she chose “love” (she had plenty of well off suitors) they struggled together w/his infidelity, and now she’s his doormat/property in the US and he takes her paycheck while she tends to the home. I love my mom and understand why their relationship happened (he’s narcissistic and she’s codependent), but she showed me exactly NOT what to do and I’m grateful.

[@OrealeXO]

But on another note, hey sisters!🇨🇲 🇨🇲🇨🇲🇨🇲

[@Theone-bm7gq]

We will Change Things Sisters

[@nessparadis6948]

I am from DR Congo, and a lot of young men I know speak in this way too. We recently had a young adult Zoom call talking about singleness in the African community. And all the guys were expecting that a woman should be okay with him if he has nothing. It’s almost like young African men think that the show of a woman’s love is her suffering with him. They treat it like a marital rite of passage. Ugh no. The old me thought this way, but the leveling up me is like no! My dad forbade my last relationship cause the guy had nothing, and I fought him for those 2.2 years 😐😑😳. I’m not married, but through my dad and brothers I’ve experienced what it is to be provided for. I can’t tell you all the times I’ve gone to restaurants and places not even having brought my wallet, bc I knew I was covered.

[@KinuGoddess777]

When I was small I spent lots of time with my jaw-dropping gorgeous grandmother. My grandfather passed when I was young but the few memories I have proved that women who hone in on their femininity live more fulfilling lives. My grandfather made sure to provide my grandmother with a luxurious home, life time of finances, and other resources to support her and their children. I remember admiring her move mountains with a firm gentleness. While managing a household, husband, raising children, educating herself- she never neglected her appearance or feminine role.

[@cierrarobinson3572]

Recovering mid-maintenance woman here! I would emasculate every man I dealt with (subconsciously) because they could not pay all of my bills - ALLLLLLL OF THEM. Now, I realize why those relationships/situationships failed miserably. As I continue leveling-up, I know that I can never take a many seriously who does not take me seriously by investing in all parts of my life. At this point, I am doing men a favor by seeking a hypergamous relationship. I have a zero tolerance policy for broke dusties and bob-the-builder practices. Y’all should know that leveling-up REPELS broke dusties and 50/50 men. They know they can’t afford me and that’s a glorious feeling!

[@FaithLoveDreams]

I’m happily Married and I do believe that Team Work makes the Dream work, but guess which Team member is sitting back while the bulk of the work is done 🙋🏾‍♀️(not all because there are some things that I enjoy doing as well) No 50/50 around here. My husband is the provider doesn’t mean I don’t do things that make our marriage work but I’m Nobody’s Work horse. My Mom was provided for by my Dad, so I know what it looks like and wouldn’t accept anything less. Ladies if you are mid maintenance it’s never too late to start over!💐

[@jassh2610]

I fell off and got comfortable with dating recently. Stopped manifesting my provider husband and watched the relationship got south real quick. I will NOT bend the rules anymore. If you will not provide I will not entertain. He who finds a wife finds a good thing. That is all.

[@msthomas_222]

💯

[@SteaveytaylorFWhite]

Amen!

[@itsBenzie]

Say it SIS! Say it louder!

[@Mochaexquisit]

I escaped such a marriage and will never go back. I worked 40 plus hours, cooked, cleaned, and took care of the kids, he even received breakfast in bed for four years. I was resentful and angry and every attempt to place the reigns of our finances into his hands met with failure. I know now that any relationship going forward I want to be provided for and taken care of cause doing it all by myself sucks it was like having three kids versus having a husband and two kids. i am not equipped for the fifty fifty life style no more!!

[@AlexisMaria]

God bless you I am so happy you woke up still waiting for my mom to leave my dad smh. my sis and i moved out (my dad had the nerve to ask me for $$ when i began to work!) I was DONE. U give me hope my mom needs to GOOOOOO

[@90tsr]

Im currently going through this. In soo turned off and dont desite my mate anymore. Being nice and mid-maintainance ain't where its at.

[@Gloriacason]

Mmmm I am a this woman.. I was in a relationship and everything she said happened to me in that order 👀🤣 Fortunately for me I have lots of guy friends and they tell me guys LOVE to chase after feminine woman hands down. Of course I broke it off with him but before getting into another relationship, I am now starting to have more routines. I have a face, body, hair, and private part night time and day routines lol and I love them! I even walk around the house with full makeup on and high heals 😏 I am working on myself and doing me... Happily 🥰💗

[@snl2010]

This is spot on. I was like this in my last relationship... I got tired after 3 years of going half and half.. but in reality IT’S NEVER REALLY 50/50, more will always fall on us. Giving up the crown gem and shacking up 🤦🏽‍♀️ Sharing is not caring in these relationships. Good video as always Chloe.

[@natashavaugn1018]

I am 22 and HIGH maintenance as ALLLL get out. Hair, nails, brows, STAY right + body + mind +spirit as well, thank you Chloe!!

[@natashavaugn1018]

@ I do dusty, aka why I would never entertain someone like you who couldn't even afford my time (; #NEXT

[@MANAL83]

@ with a name like Taha I'm sure your mom stayed home while your dad paid for everything. Don't be a hypocrite!

[@nessparadis6948]

Evergreen 😂😭🤣. You’re so right. I completely agree that Taha Hager’s mother was probably a well taken care of SAHM for the same reason as you. Look at them fronting 😆.

[@momb4life]

Been there, done that and will be alone before I get back on the struggle bus. I know I still have flawed thinking when it comes to men and dating so I choose to not date until I am mentally stronger.

[@itsjustJemima]

Me too! It's a struggle at first, but it's definitely doable. I share my journey and useful information on my channel. I pray for success for all of us ❤️

[@hahadarrie]

I'm so happy you addressed this. I was never fronting bills withb man or giving him money but I was a long way from being hypergamous. I'm 32 and just learned the error of my past ways of trying to play "fair". I now see and know better. I'm still young enough to get it right and have a provider, protector husband.

[@Kat3369]

I posted this meme on my IG about the difference between a boy ( burdens on you) and a man (meets all needs) and the amount of dusties who commented was laughable. Talking about I'm not your dad and you ain't my mom, why do I have to meet your needs and that type of thinking is backwards af. I laughed in hypergamy.

[@leahr.1475]

When you said “provide 100% PLUS TAX”!! That made me smile

[@jasu5142]

My Husband and I both work full time whilst he does much more hours , when we have kids I’ll be going to part time . He does most of the house work , I cook and do laundry the most and I’m happy with that . I’m not a high maintenance woman per say but I have high expectations.. my husband knows i expect a lot from him and that’s all on that for me .

[@itsmekarima]

he does much more hours and also MOST of the house work? and you ain’t even got kids yet

[@jasu5142]

Karima Gabriel yep ! I don’t have the physical capacity To work as hard as him ...as long as I’m bringing in my own money and keep the house in order , food on the table , I feel I am doing my part as the woman of the house

[@itsmekarima]

Jas U tbh i’m onboard with that! i want that life. but i’m from an african family and ive always heard if your husband is the only one that does the cleaning then you’re dirty and he’s unlucky. my brother just said “she better have the physical capacity to take care of em kids when they come!” 😂

[@jasu5142]

Karima Gabriel hahahaha @ your bro . My husband and I are both of west African decent (born and raised in the U.K. ) but let’s be honest , We are women and we can’t take all the up and down long hours , grind bs ! It’s just not physically possible , yes bearing kids , being home makers is what we are build for easily . As an African woman I must cook and be capable of looking after the home , Him and the future kids , but he is the head of the house so really it’s his duty to make sure it’s in order and we have a comfortable life , that can only be achieved by hard and work and yes him helping out with the chores .. since we both work . He did say if things fail it’s on him ! I was like you damn right ! Lol

[@brklyn2922]

Nice balance! Femine leadership💜

[@RedefiningBodybuilding]

Whenever she says lurkers and ear hustlers, I feel it in my soul and cackle because I know it's ticking someone off 😂😅🤣😂. In other news... I'm ALL THE WAY high maintenance. Beautiful women cost, gentlemen.

[@truthinchocolate6156]

I love your channel Roxie. Thanks for helping us stay fit and beautiful!

[@silkandclass3935]

Love the comment sis!

[@fluttershy2816]

I'm currently engaged and we've been working on building our business together. I am a mid maintenance tending to the high maintenance side. But since we're both young and hustling, we are still in this dynamics. My fiance grew up in a household where his parents built a thriving big business when they were young and soon his mum had the option to stay at home and lead a hypergamous lifestyle. My man's goal is very similar, he wants to retire me as early as possible from my job and just do my part in the business (because I'm passionate about how I can bring my creative side out in building this empire for ourselves) He already showers me with gifts, never lets me pay for anything, etc. Extremely happy about this relationship because his actions matches his words and goals so there's a sense of security. It definitely took some self realization, visualising and manifesting with regards to this relationship after dating some dusties in the past!

[@vistacruz9989]

"Teamwork makes the dream work, that is, until it doesn't." Thank you Chloe for your videos, and thank you for going in depth on "50/50" relationships. I had this mindset for years, and really didn't see anything wrong with it, as I once believed that men and women were "equal." I've been watching your other 50/50 relationships video on repeat.

[@mayahn3574]

Men call women gold diggers to manipulate them out of thinking for themselves but have no problem being “too good” for or looking down at a struggling woman calling her a “dead ting” as the kids say now a days. So ladies don’t let their insults & tactics work on u. If u were a broke man & he was the woman he wouldn’t build with u period or even walk ur way 🤣

[@mexy04]

This was absolutely me. I hated feeling like men were throwing the word hoe around at women who demanded money. I always wanted to be apart of the boys since I was in the military and was reclassed to mechanic MOS for deployment. There was always that competitive and judgmental aspect of women in the military to either be respectable or if a whiff of being a hoe even aired of you that was the label you wore. Either way if you know better you do better but unfortunately it took tragic circumstances for me to finally change. Losing my independence due to my health conditions forced me into rethinking the way I was living.

[@sexyapple7]

I have been called a "gold digger" because I demanded better treatment such as going to real restaurant instead of Red Lobster. Im losing hope and i feel very much rejected

[@andrellicae.9039]

49jubilee ok lib

[@charmaineespeut4627]

This sounds like me lol! I always feel like we as women have to bring "something to the table" to feel valuable. I'm a stay at home mom with my first baby and my husband works. He takes care of my needs and I'm happy. Before our baby I worked he said I didn't have to pay but I felt like it would be nice to help so I did sometimes. Although he is providing I feel like I should contribute since that's how I was raised. Even with a baby it feel weird not to work to contribute to the household. He thanks me for our baby, taking care of her and doing wifely things. Yet I still feel like I need to contribute. My mom always said you don't want to end up barefoot and pregnant so I think about that phrase too. Some of us feel uncomfortable resting in our femininity due to how we were raised.

[@legume2316]

Same my mom said if your man ever decides to leave you, you’ll regret not establishing your career at a young age.

[@charmaineespeut4627]

@Moon Hmmm that sounds smart. I'm going to take your advice thank you!

[@hunny585]

@Moon so its ok to hve secret savings? what if i end up in my home country where its diffucult to maintain or even open bank accountd secretly due to safety issues n need husband's help?

[@sweetpeaj1952]

Factsssss

[@nomkhithas7752]

This exactly how I am and how I would feel if I were in your situation too. You are now thinking about security for you and your baby should things go left(God forbid).

[@thelawyerchad]

Wow. This video is on POINT! 100%

[@kxlot79]

The mid maintenance women are deepest in the sunken place.👀 They’re so stuck on superficial “fair,” they don’t see that life ain’t “fair,” and there’s no tangible prize/parade/trophy waiting on the other side of your willful struggle.

[@empressqi1722]

Perfectly put.

[@ketyggy]

You have an amazing way with words Chloe!

[@cocohitchman3209]

I’m definitely of a med/high(still growing) I’ve definitely improved over time. Was a tomboy. I’ve dated wealthy guys and had hypergamous relationships. But I have slipped bk on some dustiest & felt the burden & disappointment of no sense of provide & protect and over helped, too nice,& financially provided on certain things. They lacked the skills & I lacked sense and skills too. Position yourself in the right places to find high value men and being high value too. Even if you date outside your race, city or country!

[@anikaelizabeth]

That mid maintenance dynamic ended real quick. 😊. That was to hard for me!

[@EvieAswiti]

exhausting indeed.

[@anikaelizabeth]

@Asia Henry I agree!

[@anikaelizabeth]

@Jamilla Dobson 👍🏾👍🏾100%

[@itskylanotkayla]

In my last relationship I took a mid-maintenance role and it fell flat when I was burnout and he didn’t care because he ultimately never respected me. Trying to be “fair” in a relationship is not going to sustain it, trust me. As a woman, I was always going to have the short end of the stick when I wasn’t putting myself first.

[@anthiachase2761]

I am living that now and I HATE IT

[@MrsGiggsxx]

Wooo.. I remember asking you for a breakdown on these types of women on your Instagram post and you actually responded that you would. Thank you.. loving it ☺️

[@denises5950]

I am a medium maintenance woman. I am a nice girl. I am a lonely woman.

[@chocolategoddess1618]

Denise S stop it , no more nice

[@rubiesdaughteriam3479]

Wow so honest.....sis you're in the right place. Chin up, selfcare and binge start Chloes videos.

[@nomkhithas7752]

Me and you both Denise S. My mindset has shifted but I just never seem to meet people coz I don't go out a lot. And I certainly don't want the people I work with, yuck!

[@allbymyself4927]

Nice women finish last!!! Even the most decent man will turn on you for being too nice. Please ladies, find your voice, learn to say no. Thank you Chloe....

[@hunny585]

what does being nice mean? polite..soft nurturing are feminine qualities right? but confused on this

[@Lidiroyal]

Hina B. Being a doormat. Letting people walk all over you. Putting your boundaries aside to be a people pleaser.

[@allbymyself4927]

Hina B. Exactly how Royaltydeaux has described. Scared that if you don't do all of that he will go away. You can be polite, soft nurturing etc and be assertive, have a life of your own, most importantly learning to say no when it matters most.

[@hunny585]

thank u lovelies.

[@HumbleBeauty679]

I was in a marriage that brought on more stress, I will be legally free Feb 15 2024! Hypergamous life here I come😊

[@Zelicious11]

Since I met my wonderful man I’ve been so relaxed and able to stay in my femininity. He’s so thoughtful & generous. I was running around crazy trying to do everything by myself when I was single. That issh is so tiring..... oh he can cook & clean as well!!🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

[@Pretzelgal]

It's expected that the 50\50 way of life will be enough. In fact, we as black women are told the half and half dynamic is the best of everything we can hope for. It sets us up for failure, struggle and fatigue. Look around at how many women have decided to not go back to work with this quarantine. Look at the stay at home wives and how together they are. These women are able to rest, keep fit and feminine while most working women are frazzled, stressed and angry. We can't keep going on with no break - it's killing us.

[@Melanie-le6mw]

Pretzelgal right. I don’t get it

[@ErisHenA]

This is the best thing I have ever listened to...God bless you

[@annaangelina1]

What to do if men's standards differ for me and some other women? I've had men come up to me with offers to "split down the middle", but as soon as they turn around, they offer support to someone else. I notice - it has nothing to do with looks or age. It's the vibe of humility and meekness that I am giving.

[@ninuska2010]

You have to give off this vibe, make your presence to men so enchanting and femininely powerful that it makes them think they HAVE TO spend their last coin on you in order to impress you and keep you. I noticed men have a personality type that's very prone to addictions and they have this ALL OR NOTHING mindset and attitude; so if they readily spend most of their money and time on video games/booze/weed/gambling/porn/drugs/playing and sexing around etc., you just have to be intoxicating enough to them and trigger their 'dopamine rush' in order for them to give you their world... In the old times, that came naturally to men, but now with all this marxist social programming, women literally have to hypnotise men back into their Provider and Protector role by using their divine feminine energy

[@tenwaystowearit]

Some of us unfortunately will never be able to fully live a hypergamous lifestyle for many reasons but it does you no good to become jealous and hateful toward those women who are fortunate enough to have that lifestyle. Personally I make good money and I out-earn my boyfriend by 50k (he’s a teacher but he’s working on a side business venture). We don’t live together but soon we will take that next step and honestly I probably won’t be living a hypergamous lifestyle, but I will have a housekeeper. I won’t be slaving and doing everything and paying half. Damn that. Lol. I will still be living the high-maintenance life that I provide for myself right now. I refuse to take any losses. And I will continue to applaud the women who are fortunate to live hypergamously.

[@najahmatthews8279]

Ten Ways To Wear It Thank you for sharing this. I am currently in college to become a nurse and my bf is a market research analyst. He has the mind set of being the head of the house but we both know that I want to be a nurse and not just solely stay at home. I feel like that’s what I’m called to do and not that I’m trying to prove myself as a strong independent woman. And we both agreed that I would put my family first above any job, I could work part time, and I would take as much time off as I needed or wanted if we have kids. But, I am happy for the women who get to stay home and be 100% provided for.

[@JodyMay05]

I just broke up with a guy because he wanted me to tip if he paid for dinner. Am I wrong?

[@TheNewFeminine]

No.💄

[@brooklynredbird3298]

Yep. I'm currently working on bettering myself. Recently left an extremely stressful job for a better work/life balance. When I left, I had a former male colleague flat out ask "how much was I making" at my new job. I was so offended and shocked at the dustiness, but I remember him saying his wife was Bob Villa and he didn't know how to fix anything around the house. I simply said, I left for a multitude of reasons and encouraged him to get his paper up. He of course said, no because he didn't want to work that hard.

[@zmcfadgen]

Yes I used to be the lets be fair lady until I got married to a 50/50 man. I became so disgusted with his unwillingness to even try to support me financially when I was stressed and burned out. I am divorced now but I learned the hard way never to accept that treatment again. I'm going the high hypergamous way now and your videos are helping me tremendously! Thank you for looking out for us and teaching us ladies how we can do better today. ❤

[@shinebrightlikeadiamond6411]

I saw a post on fb, and honestly one lady says she would want her man to provide or she won't be with him. The other ladies made her feel so guilty, they all think they should help the husband financially, one man even said, I pay the rent the utilities and my wife pays for the child care and food shopping and everyday stuff. I couldn't belive it, I had to quickly click off as that's negitive energy for me. Because I'm in a 50 50 myself and I will be gone very soon. So the more I can learn my eyes are open up.

[@NaomiMordi]

Thank you so much for the truths you share. They are lifesavers! 🧡

[@EvieAswiti]

Aren’t they? Gospel truth.

[@Lola77971]

I listened to this 3 times back to back and I could almost cry from the joy it gives me. Its like somebody freeing you from the shackles of a mindset you didn't even know you had by default but that was still impeding your life dreadfully. I'm 31 and only now hearing all these things for the first time. I know you probably hear it all the time but Thank you Chloe. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! Your work here will impact generations. 🙏🏾

[@brittany-anne334]

This came just in time...i almost agreed to go half worth my fiance "just to help him out"...😔 after he promised to protect and provide for me while simultaneously saying he couldn't pay for a new apartment on his own😩

[@9ofNines]

This is facts!!! I am Young in mid 20s ,I was one thing I noticed there was a girl younger Hispanic/white ,not even 21 at my job orientation married with a baby ! She was screaming her independence to the top of her lungs Claiming to be “bougie af” I literally left the job and enjoy my online classes because her working full time as a mom then every other woman cheering her on it was so masculine I couldn’t even see myself working there , I am happy to say I left the field and am pursuing something different , I also look at myself and see what more can I change and grow I only want a hypergamous life , I refuse to settle

[@devenamoore3501]

I always felt this way! I’ve been married for 18 years and it is true. The resentment has taken over. Truth on top of truth!

[@dragonfly3643]

Yes yes yes Chole. You speak the truth. I was a medium maintenance woman.....I imploded 3 yrs.ago. now I pay palimony but I'm no longer a work horse....thank God I found ur channel. ....Continued Blessings......100%.

[@reflections4me]

Relationship like that will not work. You will forget to take care of yourself and he will end up cheating. Those 50/50 relationships don’t work you will end up resentful, tired, overweight, and emotionally drained. You will end up doing everything if you allow this man let you go 50/50. Let him go to work, you stay home, even if you only have one child. Take care of yourself, while he is working you do the thinks you love, working out 🏋️‍♀️, arranging flowers, taking the kids to play dates, making the most amazing healthy dinners, Bible studies. Don’t listen to his mother or sister in your ears or his, just be amazing, let them hate in their misery, because they will eat you alive, stand your ground, be a happy stay at home wife.

[@frenchiekiss2002]

I use to be a 50/50 b****! But that's because I didn't know how men think. Now I understand how they operate better. It truly resonates with me to stay in my role as a divine feminine woman.

[@Asigedge]

Soooo i feel attacked lol but youre right. Youre so damn right. It really sucks to hear. When you go to work, buy the bacon, bring it home, put it away, then defrost it, cook that up and then serve that shit up with a smile...you become exhausted. A man who works normally and provides for their family only has to provide. Theres nothing else typically required of them. Where as us women have to provide, nurse, clean, organize, counsel, account etc. Im currently about to divorce my husband who said i stopped loving him. I got depressed due to trying to get pregnant and i was working 12 to 14 hour days while he just work his standard 7 hours. I made the money, did all the household maintenance, car maintenance, he helped with the housework sometimes but im was the one making the house a home and all he did was complain. All i wanted was a date once a month and some flowers sometimes. He told me to be grateful he paid for the car note. Like i dont pay the insurance and maintenance on that bitch, or like i dont pay 75% of the rent, or like i dont pay 100% of the food and utilities. Im tired. Im burnt out. Plus if we would have had kids, i wanted to go down to work part time. He said he didnt want a stay at home mom. Well...i dont want an adult baby. So boom. 2 1/2 years later i guess im free

[@theaville8007]

That wasn’t a 50/50 situation dear more like 90/10 you taking 90% of burden

[@Asigedge]

@@theaville8007 ma'am... you are painfully correct. Im learning though. Im a work in progress lol

[@tierraalston7985]

I was mid maintenance and doing more recieving less from everyone around...even today a man wanted me to do his hair and take it out all for $30 so I told him I'm good...in my past men wanted my body, my house, down to cooking for them and please ing them for less than nothing if....today I'm standing for something and it's a while nother test it self ...in my past I was always a middie giving way more than I was recieving for majority of my youth and at this time today I'm 35 tryna stand strong for something and not be weak-minded or settle

[@jamiylah_]

WoW! Thank you so much for this video Mrs. Chloe. I had to watch it twice to let it all sink in. It was well articulated and oncise, well done. You've helped open my eyes to a mentality that is very visible yet difficult to identify and call out in this PC culture we currently live in. The "midi maintenance dynamic" is totally a western cultural concept fed most to the weak of society.

[@nangmomarceline5569]

I am a mid maintenance woman. I work hard. I believed in supporting my husband in every aspect. To me i should be considerate .i forgive all the time and i let go. I had a business that was paying like mad . i owned a restaurant that helped my family so much. But it was hard and consuming . i was busy. Paying and supporting him. But he stood aside and i felt not taken care of . since he had sent me to school i always have gratitude towards him. When the business boomed he didn't come to help instead he began criticizing me and reporting me to his family. And letting everyone know i wasn't supporting him enough and i wasn't caring anylonger and so on. So he began acting up ,got a girl and decided to move out . during that time i had some serious debts from the business and i was crashing. Then for the sake of the kids i begged him to come back. And i abandoned everything. The emotional stress beat me i so i couldn't fight for my business. I let it crumble. Now he is not the caring provider for me ,kids or the home. That is why i decided work so hard. Now am home in the same condition so unhappy i try to do online shopping and do petty trade cause if i don't i Will be wretched me my kids and home. Right now he has powered up professionally. And i see him building himself. Am just there . he still finds fault in me . but am sooo unhappy he doesn't care . i tried looking for a job in a nearby town but moving away will fortify our drifting. Lately i really wanted to leave the marriage but am broke . i can't even save up because am trying make my children happy. Provide for them and try to meet up to. He thinks am extravagant with the money he doesn't give me. I am a good woman and i believe in 50 50. But now i want to be a woman but its hard. How can i turn things around. Am an African woman who lives in africa. I enjoy your channel cloe God bless you

[@kgs2280]

“Men do not respect fair or reasonable. Men actually get over on fair and reasonable”. Amen!

[@Ladyfaithke]

I love the choice of words ,bruised,envious of those resting in their femininity from being provided for and drained ,it’s a fact !

[@bbchanel8733]

Great video Chloe! I was watching and saying "not me, girl!" the whole time lol! Hypergamy only and that's that! Too many men want Bergdorf's at JCPenny prices and absolutely not! High maintenance and proud!

[@koolyokam007]

But what about women who want to have a professional career for their enjoyment and fulfillment, yet still be hypergamous. Can a woman be a doctor and still be hypergamous and feminine? Some of us aren't cut out to be Susie Homemakers. I know the boredom of just taking care of home would drive me batty.

[@stanfatou2002]

Yess. I want to be a physician assistant or a zoologist. I would love to work . like i want a good career so i can feel fulfilled.

[@tamaramorgan2784]

Hi Chloe, thank you for this video🤗

[@bobettttheminion7419]

Chloe I know I am much older than you but I wish you coulda been my mama!! I was taught that black men cant be trusted as providers. They may take care of you now but will eventually leave you or cheat or be abusive in some way. I never really believed that a black man could actually be a provider. I certainly hadn't seen it in my family, or my parents friends, or church members. If a woman wanted something she better work and buy it herself. All brainwashing. It doesnt have to be this way. It's good to know its decent men out here willing to provide and protect. Now I just need to find one.

[@TiffaneyGraham828]

This is such good advice as can asked me to go half on a tix to fly to see him and I almost considered saying yes.

[@glamorazzi0035]

I was raised to have this mindset. I think its because of the generational relationship dynamics that are in my family. I learned the hard way about this all through my 20s. I had to do a complete reprogramming and Im proud of myself for wanting more and not being afraid to set these standards for relationships.

[@luciaugwu2476]

I love my mother but you litterally described my her in this video. She is married to a zeta male however he wasn’t always like this. My dad was a wealthy young man making it big as at an oil company while she was being taken care of. She didn’t make at a requirement of him to be a provider man as the marriage progressed because she was too nice but my dad always said he would still be the provider if she still require it from him. My mom loves my dad with all her heart, we all do in my family but we see the frustration and burden she deals with. She always teaches me to learn from her mistakes so I don’t have to deal with what she went through. love them both to dearly 💕💕💕💕

[@CANWETALKPLZZ]

Repeat...NOTE TO SELF.

[@sarak9985]

Thank you for this channel. I’m on the way to levelling up. But guys what about women who actually enjoy their job, I’m an allied health care professional, I get to sit down most of the day and screen prescriptions, and I like being able to leave the house everyday looking cute. It give me purpose and I like having colleagues. Also I’ve stayed at home before in the past and I found it so boring. Of course I’m not a mum so it’s probably busy with kids. And also what how to I teach my daughter to go after her career if I waste my degree away? I’m just playing devils advocate. Also I had a doctor on my ward recently bitching about his wife to his colleagues saying how she’s so boring and just talks about the kids and she’s anxious about corona etc etc. I have seen men take their SAHM wives for granted because they tend to chase women who run after their goals not make their lives about the man. I have a friend who is with a provider but she has a cultural expectation to cook every day and clean and do the housework coz he provides. How to I get me a provider who pays all the bills, but also is happy with me earning my own money and not contributing? Also in ‘why men love bitches’ she says even if you marry a millionaire to always have something going on, even if it’s a charity project or a small business, that keeps you busy. I’m just finding it hard to accept that men who have women who stay at home aren’t more comfortable and look around outside because I see it on a daily basis, it’s like the men get bored of them

[@VerSpnc]

I see it everyday too. My male coworkers with stay at home wives always talk so bad about them. The ones with wives that have something going on outside the home seem happier with their marriages.

[@uzonwafor415]

I think there is a catch to being feminine and provided for. I feel like you can be a stay at home mom and be intelligent and diverse in conversation. You can still have a hustle of your own to make the relationship interesting and really to have personal funds. But a man who has means should still take on the primary role of being a provider regardless

[@sarak9985]

Uzo Nwafor that’s what I have the opinion of too. I want to find a man who will provide for me fully and I get to enjoy my dream job and keep my money I make. The only way this will happen is if I marry someone who can provide enough for him to not be bothered how much money I make. Like there was this girl at work married to a provider and she legit came in for fun, worked till 1/2pm and said how she doesn’t even care how much she gets payed coz her man took care of everything. She just liked the human contact of getting out and about, colleagues etc, and when I tell you this woman was glowingggg. Hair makeup nice, instead of the work mules at work stressing trying to make ends meet. If I get a provider I will either start a business or go part time so I still have something to talk about and have something going on, but I’m not tired in the slightest or feel overworked. I’m putting it out into the universe!!

[@PrettyBeigeJazz]

Been looking for a video the last couple days, they're like a breath of fresh air ✨🦄

[@insomniaaaaa4813]

The problem with high maintenance is what if they leave you? You can't rely on someone else completely.

[@nafeesahassan5469]

Don't rely completely on one person (have multiple men). Have your own savings.

[@annamayyy9771]

1) if he's black. Have one foot in and the other out. 2)in the society we live in where lust and music videos promote women as toys and stress relievers, men are cheating alot. Too many married men with side chiks nowadays.

[@sydlaw2941]

Was this woman in my last relationship and things got worse after we broke up. I felt like complete shit and felt that my time, money, support, and many other things were taken for granted. (side note I recently saw your video about women wasting their own time and I had to sit back and be honest with myself and tell myself that I did it to myself). I am at a point of my life where 50/50 is BS and I NEVER want a relationship like that again. I want to be supportive, loving, caring, feminine, and interdependent. I want to be able to be a woman for once instead a damn teammate. Lead the way and I'll be your strong safety net for you to bounce off of when the getting gets tough.

[@neeshas3191]

Anything in life that is quality you have to pay more money for, no different in wanting a good quality woman but having to pay to have those benefits.

[@itsGabriellaDavid]

I feel like because of the standards that are placed on women by society, men and ourselves we lose connection with our True Feminine Energy. This is a good video of becoming self aware of getting stuck in that state. I made a video on my channel myself on how to (Tap Into Your Feminine Energy) after being so exhausted trying to meet all society’s expectations.

[@Vv-fl2rm]

Chloe, one day please touch on the topic of rich stingy men. The rich dusty. 😂🤣

[@TheNewFeminine]

I already have. It’s called when men are cheap.💄

[@ellapark8770]

Personally, i feel resentful towards my parents. Im always overworked, and they never provided me with a sense of physical & financial security. In reality, i wanted to feel cherished and taken care of. This is why i’ll never allow myself to date / marry a non provider man. I want to break this curse, and i can already envision how it will turn out

[@ourexcellentlife7944]

Wow! I had no idea that this was a thing much less that it had a name. I've been this medium maintenance woman. The nice girl always trying to be fair getting walked all over. I'm tired of that mess. A change is down loading.

[@nessparadis6948]

I think she made up the name.

[@dutchblackgirl6247]

Dear Cloe, Tank u for the video! Greetings from the Nederlands

[@rachaeleena]

This is Needed ! Thank you 😊 I suffered from this now I’m consciously coming out. Ladies be aware I’ve done it on my own and 50/50 and it’s taxing on the body and soul. I’m looking forward to a hypergermous relationship

[@reginajimenez0984]

This is me currently. Four years still not engaged, he moved into my home and we split the bills 50/50. I do most of the cooking, cleaning etc...even helping raise his 11 yr old daughter. Its too much, im so tired and resentful. I know I should let it go but it will be so hard to kick him and his child out and taking on all the bills on my own once he leaves. I've also let myself go so I wouldnt get back in the dating scene anytime soon until I got into good shape again. I hate feeling like this and mad I've wasted so much time. I'm turning 36 this year and hate the thought of starting over but this is not the life I want to live.

[@sweetpeaj1952]

Your happiness comes first, so do you.

[@reginajimenez0984]

@@sweetpeaj1952 Yes you are so right, thank you 😊

[@swagsurfin7736]

Sis I am in no way telling you not to exercise and eat healthy and get in shape but I work in a barbershop and lete tell you .......... Different Men love all shapes of women. From size 5 to 55. So however big you are now trust and believe there's a man out there who will love it. I pray that you find the strength to love yourself enough to leave.💕💕💕

[@reginajimenez0984]

@@swagsurfin7736 thank you for your kind words

[@swagsurfin7736]

@@reginajimenez0984 of course dear!!!!

[@HeyTwinTv]

Hey ladies, I have a question. Any opinion will help! So, I am definitely working on my femininity. I've been very casual my entire life and I've realized exactly why I've attracted the wrong type of men. I'm lucky to have come to my senses. But I do have a question! I've been working and saving my money to purchase my dream car. A tesla model s. I have everything in order. However, would it be masculine of me to go out on a whim to get it for myself? Would I attract the wrong type of men? What should a hypergamous woman do in this matter? Thanks in advance ❤️

[@daisylavender5275]

Honest answer: Never wait on a man for anything if you are NOT married. Always have your own and be proud of what you have, no regrets.🙂

[@akatsukichik112]

Having a tesla will do 2 things 1) Draw men who are successful enough that they aren't intimidated 2) Draw men looking for a sugar mama. Moral of the story: Be able to distinguish between the two

[@AkwaIbomDoll]

men who are more successful will be interested, it’s never masculine to do things for yourself when no one else will!

[@fourcrows3274]

I had been married for 20 years.. when I came across hypergamous content for the first time... Immediately..I STOPPED doing EVERYTHING! I stopped cooking, cleaning and phucking! Now.. six years later.. my husband worships the ground I walk on. Breaking his back to make sure I have everything I need and want. I wish I’d found this teaching earlier. I was the sole provider, Barb the Builder for 20 years. It wasn’t good enough. It never is. So glad I got an opportunity to turn the tables. This June marks 26 years of marriage. My divorce will be final in a few weeks. And I couldn’t be happier.

[@hunny585]

so why u divorcing now?

[@fourcrows3274]

Because he doesn’t deserve me. I put up with a lot from him. He only changed his ways. When I changed mine.. and became more ruthless and unyielding. It shouldn’t take that for a person to do right.

[@bonvivant3704]

Congrats babe!

[@EnlightenOne75]

This is me CURRENTLY!!! I’m so exhausted!! I’m teaching my daughters to never be mid maintenance. I’m over it! This is not what GOD intended🙏🏾

[@nomkhithas7752]

I was in this 50/50 mess. Heck, I feel like I gave more than 50%. I did things for him for 2 his birthdays, for two consecutive years. He would not for mine, this year he only did something because I complained last year. And he did not plan it he was running around on the day. The lack of planning sickenned me. He would come see me and then on his way back call me as his "last resort" for fuel money to get home. This happened two times. And I told him not to come if he knew he was gonna run out of money on his way back. Okay that stopped. I noticed that every time he promises to do something for me that involves money, there is a story about his family needing money. I caught on very late so this one holiday I called him out on this and told him I want what he promised me. He must see what he does with the family that needs money. I used to pay sometimes when we go out. I noticed that when there are other women around he doesn't mind spending, okay so it's me he doesn't want to spend money on? You guys... I found out that he was cheating. He was talking to multiple women and slept with one. 💔 How are you going to cheat when you "don't have money"? No, meaning you spend it somewhere but not on me. This happened right around the time I discovered femininity. So I took care of myself inside and out. Still am and I have rituals of self care that he is not allowed to be part of. Infact he is not allowed to be part of anything and he wonders why. You like doing self care with me with my products but don't know how much they cost. You want me to wear lingerie but don't folk out the money or even surprise me with it. I know I shouldn't have but I took him back after months. I have physically levelled up and he knows it's my everyday thing now and I make sure to be my absolute best when he is around and when we go out. He acts unbothered when he sees things that are considered to be bought by men like flowers, wine and chocolates at my place. I realise I was just another one on the list for him. Ohhh it's on. I notice these days I am unbothered when the bill comes. He gives it to me I add a generous tip and I hand it back to him to pay. I do not even think about my wallet. When we go out he pays for everything, even the parking ticket. I want to build a roster and he will be at the very bottom of the list. I stopped having sex with him and the shovel is out for digging. I am going to pay myself and get out of here. I have planted seeds for him to buy me that designer perfume I have been wanting in the next two weeks when he comes. Last month he bought me a clothing item I was eyeing, before that he bought me a phone. I tried being nice it didn't work I am gonna run him dry.