Finding balance in bipolar | Ellen Forney | TEDxSeattle

Ellen Forney is a passionate storyteller and artist who turned her bipolar diagnosis into a platform of hope for anyone struggling with mental health issues. In this moving and generous talk, Ellen uses both words and pictures - her own comics -to share the story of how she maintained her creativity while managing her illness and shares the system she developed for achieving balance and keeping it.
Special thanks to core the TEDxSeattle organizing team, 100+ volunteers, and our generous partners - without you, this experience would not be possible. Find out more about our talks, speakers, entertainers, activities, and year-round events at TEDxSeattle.com.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TED Talks video and live speakers combine to spark in-depth discussion and connection in a community setting. These events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.
Ellen is an artist, teacher, and mental health advocate. She is the author of the New York Times bestselling graphic memoir, Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, & Me, the story of her diagnosis and struggle with bipolar disorder, and Rock Steady: Brilliant Advice from My Bipolar Life, a guide to maintaining mental health. Rock Steady was featured in the Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA)’s “Best of Graphic Medicine 2018”, and the book’s self-care framework is widely used by therapists and clinicians. Ellen also curated the National Library of Medicine’s traveling exhibition on Graphic Medicine, a new genre of comics about health.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Ellen Forney is a cartoonist, teacher, and mental health advocate. She is the author of the New York Times bestselling graphic memoir, Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, & Me, the story of her diagnosis and struggle with bipolar disorder, and Rock Steady: Brilliant Advice From My Bipolar Life, a guide to maintaining mental health. Marbles has been printed in seven foreign editions and translated into six different languages and was selected as the Common Read for the University of Washington’s Health Sciences schools in 2018. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@Hayu579]

It's crazy how I can suddenly shed tears when she said, "I've been stable for 17 years". Like, yo I want that. To all of us who's going through the same thing, or already went through this, we're gonna be okay. We can do this, we're moving and going and we can get through this. Keep moving my dudes and dudettes.. we got this.

[@ananeto597]

I’ve been recently diagnosed with rapid cycling Bipolar II. When I first started taking meds, I was stable for a few weeks and it was the longest consecutive time I felt like myself, no ups or downs. I thought I was “cured” and fixed. But then a down time came along, and it made me believe I’d never be stable, I’d never be “normal”. She said she’s been stable for 17 years, and I just cried of relieve. There’s hope for us :)

[@jillhoward2271]

i started crying at the same exact point, i’m trying to stay hopeful

[@opheliaspark5353]

Thank you so much for this comment ❤️

[@marilyngonzalez99]

facts it made me tear up too, like i really want to get to that point. But, like she said there is always hope and people to lean on for support! We got this.

[@asmos5911]

Meditation and nofab can stabilize bipolar.

[@mrsdokwaffle]

"when is feeling good a good thing, and when is it a symptom" this perfectly captures what it's like to live with this, I wish I could articulate to my friends and family this well!

[@richardactor]

Yes. I always second guess any feeling that feels a little intense for fear that it’s the beginning of a manic or depressive episode.

[@ShawnEnglish]

That's the hardest part of being Bipolar. I just cannot trust myself anymore 🥺

[@Jon_Bonds_Jovi]

Totally feel that! I am a fellow bipolar warrior. I agree with your statement 100%. It may initially sound cynical with what I am about to say *BUT* I feel as though once I accepted that very, very few people will be able to actually help me, it relieved some type of weird stress. *I hope you're doing well also*

[@unicornkitty1547]

Yes! Exactly how I feel

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@sofiaduvteg7608]

I always tear up when she says she's been stable for 17 years. Makes me feel that there IS hope, and that you can learn how to live with this disorder.

[@insight7483]

I only watched 5 minutes of this because it was so disturbing to keep watching this but it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@ellenforney9140]

Thank you all, soooo much. The books I talk about are: Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, & Me (graphic memoir) and Rock Steady: Brilliant Advice From My Bipolar Life (mental health handbook - SMEDMERTS is in there). In solidarity!

[@AmazingDogMom]

I LOVE Rock Steady!!

[@ellenforney9140]

@@AmazingDogMom Thanks!!

[@gowthamiravikumar7290]

Hi Ellen, i am a bipolar1 patient....sorry to ask a personal qstn but are u still on lithium coz u mentioned meds in smedmerts

[@ellenforney9140]

@@gowthamiravikumar7290 Yes, lithium and lamotrigine. (This is in Rock Steady, fyi!)

[@foiegrass]

As a fellow artist, recently diagnosed at 22, and feeling like I’ll never have consistency or and understanding of how to care for myself, thank you so much for encouraging me. I love to draw and all your comics were awesome, particularly the ones of feelings/demons. These are tools that are really beautiful. Also shout out to Seattle! And same names!

[@DesiranKehendak]

She's like the crazy aunt I would like to meet on a holiday. When she put Sleep as #1 coping mechanism, I could not agree more..

[@Hayu579]

I've only reached 10 seconds of this video, which is the theme opening of Ted. But, reading your comment, I can already know I like her and this video.

[@fiora2930]

Sleep is love 😴🛏

[@hillarybaker2349]

My problem is I don’t sleep. I have to take medicine to calm down.

[@cyberfox7249]

@@hillarybaker2349 same here or I sleep too much there's no in-between with my bipolar and I hate it my meds only help during the day but at night time that's me up until 7am whiles everyone getting up I am about to sleep or I don't sleep at all or I get about 1 hour of sleep sorry for talking alot XD

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@estherherbert-bipolarstrong]

So good! I have been bipolar stable for 24 years. Very proud of you Ellen. Keep going and loving who you are. 🎉🥳

[@gregdavidson100]

Big LOVE to everyone battling a mental illness. Never give up, you've totally got this!

[@easyway7308]

Amen

[@bystanderbutch3509]

Yup!

[@rrinrinrin]

Thank you! Needed to hear this.

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@jenniferramsey8850]

I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II and this is the most comforting and practical advice I have found so far.

[@zulamanavraj9669]

True

[@andrewmcneill7398]

Hi Jen. I have just been diagnosed the same last month after about 11 years of torture. I’m on a waiting list for treatment and currently am in the lowest low I’ve ever been. I have given up now to be honest

[@angelamartinez-arroyo1918]

@@andrewmcneill7398 dont give up! I have the same diagnosis and started treatment- I can assure you that with therapy and the right meds you’ll finally feel stable. I just got out of a horrible depressive episode and was so close to giving up too. But please take it one day at a time and have patience, I swear it is so worth it. Good luck with your treatment!

[@TaydoLayTV]

I just got diagnosed yesterday w/ Bi1 and I’m still processing. So this was needed.

[@Nancy_Amy]

Ditto

[@joseekeetch2818]

I love this TedTalk. As someone diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, it is comforting to hear that being stable is possible... but I can't help but think about how much money it costs to get there, especially in the USA. I pray that one day I will be able to afford the luxury to take care of my mental health :)

[@krystlemurphy8514]

Please try to find a doctor. I began seeing a therapist at 18 and wasn’t diagnosed with bipolar disorder until 32. I thought I just had depression until I started having a pretty severe manic disorder. I’ve been stable for over 3 years now. I take two medications and see my psychiatrist two a year.

[@mauriciomontoya8634]

so affor the luxry to buy a car und unnnecessary stuff Health is BODY firts dress , second

[@tirukotisuraj]

Take medical insurance

[@timothyduckworth8926]

My only hope was to access community mental health where costs are manageable. Not every community has direct access and I could not afford medical insurance. It's a struggle to find help for this condition and after decades of frustration I finally came to the realization I was Bipolar. Just putting a name to this enigma was the beginning of a journey. No two people are affected the same with this disorder I am told but whatever you are going through chances are help is out there if you pursue it like it's the most important thing ever. Best of luck and Godspeed you are not alone in your struggles.

[@kaylee8869]

I want a community that doesn’t focus on medication to solve mental illness.

[@Kinsey6King]

This guy I’ve been dating told me yesterday he was bipolar. He thought it would scare me away. Oh contraire Pierre! Now I want to help and be more supportive.

[@darenross4187]

You’re a rare breed.

[@Kinsey6King]

@@darenross4187 awe I appreciate that. I am frustrated sometimes but it’s mostly nice and we are making it work. :)

[@MCOGroupNews]

I know this was 3 months ago but I'm currently dating a girl who told me she's bipolar, I'm trying to learn more about it- got any useful tips for managing a bipolar relationship, kind stranger?

[@Kinsey6King]

@@MCOGroupNews 1) Communicate well with her. Be honest and open. 2) Anticipate that she will have depression for a period of time then she will be manic for a period of time. 3) Tell her that you love her and you’re there for her. 4) Watch all the “polar warrior” videos - they’re helpful. Good luck! :)

[@MCOGroupNews]

@@Kinsey6King Thank you so much for your reply!! I've been doing #1 really well, #2 I struggle with a bit because I'm the kind of person who tends to put a lot of the blame on myself and I know she can't help the way she feels or that I haven't done anything to make her feel that way a lot of the time, I know that's something I gotta work on myself! definitely gotta look into doing #3! Thank you for your time! 🙂

[@mafiurena3965]

17 years stable, how inspiring. I am stuck in a depressive episode and this hit me on the gut. Thank you for representing our illness in such a beautiful way, it made me feel less alone.

[@spreadhappiness9934]

Yup..take care

[@anmolsaxena6630]

u can come out of this . I believe u

[@siddharthrajan24]

Good luck....

[@The77addy]

❤

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder or a illness. It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@Amethina]

I had my first and only psychotic manic episode in December of 2022 and this video has given me a lot of hope that it is possible to find balance with my bipolar 1 diagnosis. I lost myself for weeks but eventually found my way back to reality by singing to myself. For anyone else battling, know that you're not fighting alone. We have each other and we can give each other an infinite amount of hope. We got this 💜

[@victoriaschmidt677]

My mom is Bipolar, and she is going through a tremendous manich period. It's been 4 months since she's left home. I wish she could accept her disorder and watch this talk... I hope this day will come soon.

[@victoriaschmidt677]

@Tiya H No she didn't :/ Still trying new things in order to bring her back !

[@toni5543]

Girl I feel you. I'm going through the process of getting myself diagnosed while monitoring my mum who is in a manic episode right now for what feels forever. It's never ending isn't it?

[@victoriaschmidt677]

@@toni5543 It feels like it is never ending, that's exactly it. It's been a week since I've been starting a therapy in order to bring back my mental health again :) We're so far but yet I feel so close ! Sending all my good energies to your Mom and you :3

[@toni5543]

@@victoriaschmidt677 I hope your mum feels better soon too. Thank you so much for your kind words.

[@toni5543]

@@victoriaschmidt677 also well done for starting therapy! You should be proud of yourself

[@zackd2962]

Lamictal is the best medication. It took me from hopeless depression to functioning at a high level. My work life improved my relationship improved. The only side effect is dry mouth. But medicine is not a cure all. It takes positive friends, exercise and nutrition to fight this disease. Don't give up dont let bipolar be a disability let it be our superpower

[@Sun-ut6qd]

Thanks bud ☺

[@MelaninBeautyxo]

For you, it made me worse. Cause chronic stomach issues that i still have no even off lamictal. I might ask to try lithium but idk I’m a choreographer so i don’t my creative mind to go but this point I’d loose myself to make life easier for those around me.

[@e-senpai9240]

I'm glad it worked for you. It didn't do anything for me, but it's shown to be quite effective as a mood stabilizer for a lot of people with BD.

[@FidelCastro128]

The gifts outway the disease with proper care. Faith & healing! : )

[@Jose-Gonzalez-cfl]

YES!!! It's done wonders for me too. I've been taking it for over 2 decades. I finally felt fine, "normal", stable, more in control, and no discernable side effects, except sun sensitivity, but I can deal with that. There are times that I've had to take antidepressants for a while, but eventually I come off and all is well. Unfortunately, not everyone has the same experience with Lamictal.

[@FlowCreatorApp]

Made me cry a bit.. That is exactly what I needed to hear, a stable life actually would feel like me. Thank you so much for making it through.

[@Mr_X444]

Wanna be friends?

[@FlowCreatorApp]

@@Mr_X444 sure, James Bytes on fb

[@adriannaking4800]

I’m tearing up already and I haven’t even started yet. But I feel exactly as you described ❤️

[@yvonneroche3897]

Thanks for the Hope.

[@mamabeebe8592]

I don’t remember what it feels like to “feel like me” in a hood, healthy way, and that feels SAD

[@kimmieann316]

Omg I wanted to cry when she said she had been stable 17 years! I want to achieve that! The struggle of bipolar is real. I continue to fight every day.

[@Jadenmic]

Lamictal works wonders for me

[@Noblesavagemetalarts]

In tears as she just said she’s been stable for 27 years

[@ching-hangcheung5953]

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 just over two years ago. Thanks for your vulnerability interlaced with humour and eloquence. I feel less lonely and more encouraged having watched this TEDTalk so thank you for sharing. Your story is inspiring!

[@valzedrickguerrero6209]

Do you still take medicines?

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@natalysarkissian8103]

This is what i needed to hear after just getting out of the psych ward and getting diagnosed for the 3rd time. This time was the time it hit me and i couldnt deny it anymore. My first thoughts for treatment were: im never gonna be manic again? Ever?. At it was so scary, because for someone who’s only happiness or backup was to be manic, its like losing a backbone friend. I came to youtube videos to search for a person to confide in with my fears and for them to ease down those thoughts, and she did exactly that. Stability doesnt have to be scary . U can, and if anything, will be MOSTLY productive and YOURSELF when stable. Not in mania. Thank you❤

[@bubbercakes528]

I’m crazy too. Now 58 and have been a crazy person since I was 36. I survive. I do not work. I lost my wife. I have two wonderful children that keep me alive. 30% of bipolar people cannot be fixed by drugs. I have forgotten what it means to be normal or to trust the way I’m thinking. Imagine never knowing who you really are anymore. I tell everyone about my illness. It’s not always helpful but it is all I have. My bipolar disorder defines me.

[@LiveRussian]

I’ve been diagnosed at 36 too… just a year ago. I so hope that I won’t feel like you do now, I’m ready to find a way to cooperate with this illness, it can define us in a good way.

[@dianecleary1054]

Big hug.

[@salimacharania8720]

The most important is support system, which you hardly get😥

[@amandacerami6143]

Seriously :/ It's so hard to find a trusting support system, especially with CO-VID19 in action and everything being virtual. Communicating online doesn't feel as intimate, personal than face-to-face.

[@v.dargain1678]

@@amandacerami6143 Do the online sessions anyway ! They aren't as uplifting as the person-to-person ones but every little but helps with mania . And at least you think enough of yourself to want to manage this chronic problem .

[@barrymalkin4404]

@@amandacerami6143 So true. The sense of isolation when you desperately need social contact can feel unbearable. How I long for the world to become normal again so I can access the personal help to get me through this period.

[@amandacerami6143]

@@barrymalkin4404 Definitely. I long for it, too. Treatment is such a fragile journey. There’s something to be said about others witnessing your sorrow and your presence during the journey.

[@rayofcreation3996]

Yes

[@kristinalobanov9944]

I was diagnosed with bp disorder just a year ago, but it was such a relief to me. All my life people was telling me I was acting “not normal”, especially my grandma. Discovering it made me realize that all the action I was doing it wasn’t really my will. I immediately accepted my mental state and started the therapy with Lamotrigine. After a month I woke up immediately when I heard my alarm, and I was not sleepy. For me it was something insane.. waking up for me was something unreal before. Now, after a year I am stable, even tho I feel some contrasting feelings inside me sometimes. My life changed after being diagnosed, it’s very important to reach a specialist asap if you have this disorder. I lived with it since I was 6 yo, can’t tell how much pain I gave to my family with my actions. Awareness of ourselves is the key to solve any problem

[@meehow72]

Inspiring in its own right, Kristina. Lamotigrine was my go-to mood stabiliser for many years. I will most likely return to it eventually.

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@justinnelson8601]

Been struggling for years now. Almost took my life. I hope I can find balance like you one day life is so confusing

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@Dirt.Knapp.]

There is hope. After years of ups and downs, run ins with the law, destroying relationships, failed treatments, and a lifetime of super stress, I finally got the stability and medication that helped balance my bipolar (on top of lifestyle choices). It took me almost jumping off a bridge to get a second-generation antipsychotic medication...it's changed my life and every relationship therein. Guys...girls...there IS hope and I know because I'm there. Life isn't perfect but that's fine. Just do yourself a favor and NEVER give up the fight for quality mental health and peace of life. To whomever may need this - I love you, so why shouldn't you? ❤

[@vittorja]

It's so hard. Everything feels empty and I can't see one single reason why I should wake up in the morning. I just hope it gets better with time.

[@Dirt.Knapp.]

@vittoria6891 please just don't let the chemicals in your head lead you to do something you can't take back. I know, I mean, I KNOW what you're going through and I feel for you. However, keep on fighting. It will lead to better times, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. It just takes time. Keep telling yourself this. This I know, I mean, I KNOW. With Love

[@vittorja]

@@Dirt.Knapp. thank you very much for your kind words. I do want to believe what you say, even if rn I don't see the end of this tunnel. I wish I didn't feel so isolated in this condition and that the meds weren't so rough. I'm taking lithium, tbh I feel it's doing more harm than good and it's just helping to make me feel more helpless.

[@user-de6hq9wv8m]

@@vittorja ❤ you're not alone

[@amypowell7017]

Wow 17 years is amazing. Chocked me up when you said "a stable life, a balanced life , feels like me. I want that so bad

[@ryanlopez6703]

I’m a veteran with bipolar and ptsd, this was very helpful. I get very up and down and when I’m down I’m very down and I thought my temper or sadness was just ptsd. Thank u, and god bless everyone that is fighting this fight

[@unknowntosociety01]

I hope you and all of us find that middle ground called stability

[@crystaltabor431]

I too am a Veteran with both. Hang in there brother.

[@KGdaghost]

Thank you so much I'm a veteran with ptsd I just stopped drinking and I'm start8ng to realize something is very wrong with me I'm thinking it's bi polar

[@AlistairBalister]

@@KGdaghost how are you now? Have you sought professional help?

[@KGdaghost]

@Angus Symes I have been to the va and I get a little bit of help

[@miami312]

WTF! A year and half of depression! My cycle was about every 2 weeks. 2 weeks of euphoria, a week, sometimes 2 of depression. I don't know if I could have lasted 1 1/2 years of depression. Nice to hear you made it! For all you struggling, we're out here, you are not alone, don't give up.

[@LiveRussian]

It’s different for everyone, my longest depression lasted for 6 months, I thought I’d die…

[@fadjeja3141]

Same(2 weeks euphoria and 2 weeks of depression) I was misdiagnosed bipolar type 2 for 25 years😢 I had undiagnosed UARS due to mouthbreathing and retractive orthodontics. It was my quality of sleep causing all the problems.

[@tommyg.6542]

im still in my depression and its been three years. now i get manic and rapidly change from manic to depressed and dont even feel good when im manic anymore i dont even know how to explain what im going thruogh

[@miami312]

One day, I learned my cycle. I realized if I was euphoric; depression was absolutely going to follow. My depression wasn't the kind that just left me lethargic and unmotivated; mine included the need to die. I stopped the cycle. I did not allow euphoria. I miss that euphoria, there's nothing like it, but I think I would have ended up dead if I kept going the way I was. The depression was too severe.

[@miami312]

Something else I have learned that helped me. We can create emotion by imagination. If you can create it, you can uncreate it. Do imagination exercises. Pay attention to the emotion created, not so much the imagined images. What do your body sensations feel like.

[@angelitalesko2757]

I cried also when you said you were stable for 17 years. It gives me hope for my daughter. Thank you.

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@Trendspottify]

My mother is bipolar. What a courageous woman who shares her struggles in such a creative and inspiring way. God bless her

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@jmiod2819]

Well, im 16, and ive been taking meds for bipolar 2 for over 3 years now, im getting better, but its still hard, keep strong guys

[@h_r7708]

Mania is better than any drug. The crash is unexplainable. A singer named Vanilla Ice had a lyric that said," to the extreme.... blah blah blah." Every aspect of my life is "To The Extreme." Right now the darkness is

[@sappyboy-yo1ks]

It's crazy how everyone experiences mental illness differently and yet, as someone with bipolar II, i can relate to everything she says and even her slightly theatrical way of speaking and behaving... it just really helps to see that i'm not alone with this wonderfully-hellish trait.

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@audreyheart2180]

🙏❤ "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions and /(or your trauma). Small people always do that. But the really great ones, they make you believe that you too can become great/ (or overcome your trauma)." -Mark Twain

[@freezeblizz]

I can totally relate. My last manic episode was for 3 whole months, I did so many horrible things. Then I fell into depression. I wish I could give her a hug and everybody who has to go through the same situation. Keep fighting! 😊

[@kuppusamyradhakrishnan2862]

what did you do

[@mariavardarska]

My first mania also lasted three months and I did so many horrible things as well. :( And the depression that followed ruined my life. I am again depressed right now, after a hypomanic episode, and I have so little hope currently :( It just feels like my life will be forever determined by this seesaw of extreme emotions and sensitivity.

[@ordeliaordones2977]

@@mariavardarska never loose hope i guarantee you will fill better good luck

[@siddharthrajan24]

@@kuppusamyradhakrishnan2862 hi, are u bipolar as well??

[@crystalbeach897]

You are speaking exactly how I feel and what I am going through. I’ve just been diagnosed with BP2, as well as ADHD and I am trying to learn how to manage life better. I’m scared, but I want to thrive. Thank you for this.

[@danabuck6461]

The picture of her climbing out of that hole is exactly like I feel in the depths of my depression.

[@marianaaguiar8838]

25 years and I’ve just found out. With the help of my therapist we just found out that I’ve been showing symptoms since I was 12. How the heck no one told me this before? My whole behavior during life makes sense now

[@sarahskrrtskrrt]

This video and Ellens book changed my life. I was diagnosed Type 2 in October 2021. At the time, I was rapid cycling. I found this video shortly after my diagnosis and even though it took me a year to stabilise, it is because I slowly and conscientiously started implementing these tips from the date of my diagnosis. One by one. It was hard and defeating, and took so much trial and error to find what worked for me but I am stable now and when I have upsets, my routine keeps me stable. Or more or less. I recently changed meds - something I was terrified would trigger a major mood disturbance, but my habits and routine kept my head above water. I preach this video to everyone I meet, my friends, my colleagues, my patients. If you're new to the journey, start small, DO be kind to yourself but START making small changes. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's you !

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@sarahskrrtskrrt]

​@@insight7483I agree and disagree. It's a condition that needs to be managed. It becomes a disorder if it's not managed and begins to affect daily functioning.

[@insight7483]

@@sarahskrrtskrrt thats the same with any emotion left unchecked

[@mtamech535]

Bipolar type 2 here. 30 years running. Never been completely under control. This downward mood swing I'm on now has had me sleep for nearly 24 hours. Always waiting for the next upswing while my job slips farther from me.

[@danz9093]

Pleasantly surprised at well articulated, humourous, heartfelt and accurate she was. This will be my go-to if I'm introducing someone in my life to the topic so we both know what SMEDMERTS is 😂

[@ameliaconrad6681]

I'm 58. Diagnosed at 31. Still fighting the demons, still facing judgements from Non-Bipolors. My GOOD therapists go on to bigger and better things, and I'm still here. THANK YOU for giving me hope...with 17 years and SMEDMERTS...I have to keep going too and not give up.

[@ellenforney9140]

Yes! I hope your demons lie down for long, deep naps soon. Hang in there!

[@rachelbartlett9783]

I'm 50 and deeply depressed. I'm looking for any good experiences from woman around my age. I'm desperate to believe that this will pass. 🦋

[@dsr92692]

Thanks you a lot for beeing so lovely Open . Im 27 years old and i fight with bipolar 1 for 13 years. I lost 2 of my Sisters During my fight through this desaster. To everyone outside diagnosed with bipolar disorder :" it Is super hard but dont give Up ! Hope is there ! .

[@angelabertrand9684]

Thank you so much, I am a musician and have struggled with undiagnosed Bi Polar since I was 14....I am so scared of taking medication or reaching out for help, because I am scared of losing my creativity...losing what I know of myself. But it's becoming unbearable to deal with alone. You have inspired me to try to get help, even if that means medication. I'm afraid of the hard road to find balance...but at least you've shown me it's possible.

[@alika207]

Have you ever written any of your own songs?

[@alika207]

Singing and songwriting is a great way to share your story! Let your creativity be your strength, and inspire others!

[@alika207]

Since writing those comments, I’ve answered my own question. You know me through Facebook now. Your voice is amazing, and I truly believe music can be your way of reaching people, and bringing them joy and light. I can’t wait to hear more from you!

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised b

[@LittleBoSleepASMR]

@@insight7483do you have a medical background? It’s okay to share your input but if you personally do not struggle with this disorder and do not have said background, this information is dangerous to those of us who do struggle. You cannot think your way out of it through awareness.

[@michaelwarren5325]

One of the most inspiring presenters I’ve seen on Bipolar Disorder. Phenomenal. This is a must-watch for people with this disorder.

[@ordeliaordones2977]

I dont like the part of the tatoo

[@meehow72]

@@ordeliaordones2977 I see the tattoo as possibly part of one of her manic phases. It didn't ruin her life in any way, just showed her artistic ability (I presume she designed it herself. If so, how cool is that?). I had two tattoos done. Both well hidden. I took years of debating whether to get them, so it was definitely not related to being hypomanic.

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@jxssicameyer]

I just want to hug her. This is helping me navigate my way through a depression of bipolar type 2.

[@RubyDike-ti2ev]

Me too😔

[@Susmitha0369]

6 months back I was diagnosed as bipolar. Can you plz tell what is type 1 and 2?

[@michiganabigail]

@@Susmitha0369 type 1 is full mania with depression, which is mania with four of the seven “manic” symptoms (or more) for at least a week. Type 2 is hypomania with longer periods of depression. Hypomania is at least three of the “manic” symptoms lasting for at least four days. The hypomania is followed or preceded by depression. Hopefully this helped!

[@barrymalkin4404]

@@michiganabigail Thank you. This helps me to understand my situation.

[@siddharthrajan24]

@@Susmitha0369 hi same here, but am bipolar 2

[@Elham_32356]

The loneliness I've been experiencing for years is of a different kind and nature. I suffer from both bipolar disorder and dysthymia. I have no support, and most people don't believe me. Unfortunately, I also live in a third-world country. If my relatives knows about my illness, they label me as "overly sensitive" and think I'm exaggerating or that I chose to be this way. When I'm not manic, I'm constantly depressed. No matter how hard I try to get better, my environment doesn't normalize. I'm surrounded by healthy, normal people. I envy them, so much. Seeing them makes me feel lonely and how far I am from the most ordinary things and how tired I am of fighting. I hope future generations don't have to face such hard challenges as we have. I hope they have a safe haven to turn to. I hope they don't feel as lonely as we do. I hope people like me are careful about continuing our lineage and don't make decisions emotionally. After all, suffering begets suffering.

[@user-de6hq9wv8m]

❤❤❤❤ sending you peace and love

[@rellikace9249]

Its my 2nd year being bipolar and everything she said i can really relate and i was shocked. Even the medicine she showed. I just hope that i can stable myself.

[@adreasmith7647]

I’m bipolar I and been taking medicine for 10 years now. I’m not totally stable but much better than it used to be. Although is a relief not being in a roller coaster all the time, it’s weird cos it also feels I don’t who the real me really is

[@youyoua988]

Guy I’m dating just told me he has bipolar, I suspected it because of his behavior. Lucky for him, I don’t quit on people easily so I’ve been trying to get him to find the right help. Maybe there won’t be a relationship but I really do want to be okay. It’s a vicious disease, he has been thru a lot trying to find treatment that works.

[@magdelloock1062]

wow, I struggle with Bipolar< what you say is so true.

[@kathleenhauck9199]

I just got diagnosed with bipolar 1 and I am on lithium as well. I'm in grad school and have 2 small kids and I almost lost it all. Your video really speaks to me. Thank you.

[@shellylynn8874]

❤️ same

[@The77addy]

❤

[@gagansekhon4072]

Hi, Kathleen, how are you doing with lithium?

[@salomedaushvili1731]

Does lithium help you?

[@lalahp5050]

17 years stable! That gives me so much hope

[@kalisederoche]

im abt 2 years stable rn and loving every minute. wouldve never thought this possible in my teens/early 20’s but here we are :) i do miss my mania sometimes, but lucid tranquility is much more meaningful. also, the artist in you never dies! we even have similar art styles lol thanks for sharing your story💓

[@user-fz7rs4im7w]

Youre describing my life 💯

[@kellifredricksen7183]

I was diagnosed about 20 years ago and still struggle with it today. I shared my diagnosis and story publicly through a documentary my husband and I made. Over 300 people came to watch it and many more on line. The best and worst thing I ever did! You talk hit everything on the head, especially the sleep.

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@happyface1369]

Congratulations on bEING BALANCED FOR 17 years! Thanks for your storytelling , it has really inspired me! Peace

[@v.dargain1678]

Keep going . Make 17 years , 34

[@Oddmynd]

This is my first year since I move been diagnosed and I’m loosing it as I write .. this video really helped me out because I’m also a cartoonist and everything u said I can apply to my life right now.. without a understanding friend group and a family that loves but can’t truly understand.. if anyone has advice I’d appreciate it .. I got meds but insurance got canceled now I’m in limbo accusing , paranoid , can’t sleep , doing 10 things but can’t finish 1 and all I want is to find piece in the dark times..

[@joseymartahernandez2217]

@Brandon Emmons No worries just picture it as being something truly horrifying (earthquake, hurricane) approaching you. Find out what your triggers are: lack of sleep, too much sugar, negative people around you etc. My brothers and I have learned to deal with it by first realizing that we are not alone, some if those closest to you have it as well and are just scared like you are. Think of it as a super power that you have to train frequently to be able to manage. Just remind yourself that when you hit that dark area it is temporary, (the first few times are excruciatingly hard) and it becomes easier as you are able to help those who have it because then you can also figure out what also helps you in the process.

[@buggirl8967]

going through this right now. I hope you’re doing better now.

[@latebloomerII]

i have type 2 , i found out because i smoked meth and i behaved normal. just recently i started taking meds

[@crystalbeach897]

I hope you’ve reached a place of stability

[@chogenkigirl]

ugh you are me, loved this, love you. Styron also one of my favourite writers ever.

[@darrenrichtermusic5787]

Im now in hospital. Its so real and scary. Ive been so well for so well and now i have to climb this mountain AGAIN!!! There is hope, we are the glorious one, never give up, you are beautiful!!!!

[@alika207]

I noticed your channel name has the word music in it. Are you a musician?

[@nanaamadarko7417]

This is one of the most relatable videos I have found so far! I was only recently diagnosed with BPD 3-4 months ago, prior to that, I could never explain why for months on end for as long as I remember I would be so "energetic" , "bubbly" (words commonly used to describe me for as long as I can recall) & just constantly feeling a reduced need for sleep to work on my projects. I just thought it was "normal" until I would crash & feel the exact opposite for weeks but somehow I'd just keep going till this year, I couldn't handle the oscillations anymore as I experienced terrible thoughts of not wanting to exist anymore. As a woman in both the creative & scientific field, with a passion for both, it gets scary when I have too much passion & feel on-top of the world & when I don't. I question if my ambitions are too ambitious or even real sometimes. I'm currently in some sort of depressive mood reminding myself that stability is possible and this right here, gave me hope.

[@jeffsanders444]

Thank you for sharing your journey, Ellen. I have struggled with bipolar 1 for the last fifteen years. I've been placed in inpatient care several times in order to get stabilized and on the right meds. But, like you mentioned, I always felt flattened by them as if I were watching a slideshow of my life at some distance. On and off meds was my normal and my career, finances, relationships and my self suffered. Unfortunately, in a rage, I became violent and injured a dear friend and was sent to jail for a year. I was released and part of my sentence was to regularly see a psychiatrist and attend therapy. Thank God for the judge's wisdom. My psychiatrists has me on the right meds now and have been stable for 18 months now! My condition is manageable and I am rebuilding my life.

[@LiveRussian]

I wish you to stay on the right path! Courage!

[@hopeandheartsloveandfreedo3580]

What is the right path and if anyone could see how to get onto it it would be incredible

[@LiveRussian]

@@hopeandheartsloveandfreedo3580 I think you feel what is right with your heart

[@mitochondriacheva3132]

I realized now itself that I have bipolar. Otherwise I would have killed people in future, because I got few thoughts about harming others. But now I realized totally and I will be in control as much as possible or will visit doctor in emergency.

[@kerrazy2282]

What meds jeff

[@babyswiss69]

oh no i love how both of our therapist busted out the big book!

[@nicef.balanay689]

Is there really hope? I've been recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1, I never knew I had this until recently. It all make sense now. I thought to myself before, I'm just different and too sensitive or very emotional person. But now it all makes sense!

[@lovinlife22207]

So spot on, thank you for your bravery...much love

[@RubyDike-ti2ev]

This was so relatable🥺❗️

[@carlyellisemarie]

She was so Amazing! Thank you ❤ 🥰

[@Maddilou13]

This is so uplifting. Thank you

[@stock.58]

thank you Ellen!

[@lisafarrell6334]

Bless you and thank you so much.

[@xoxemma2898]

Thank you for bringing light to the chaos & portraying beauty in stability

[@phinexblit9029]

THANKYOU FOR COMFORTING MY MIND S BIT TODAY 😰😥

[@antonexfranco]

I am SO glad you made this video. It took me pretty much my entire twenties to discover your system on my own but it saved my life (Plus the acronym and illustrations are great). Almost 5 years stable now. I really hope people who are just learning how to cope with their diagnosis and see this early on and take it seriously. She just gave you guys such an invaluable tool in what feelings like an uphill battle for stability

[@cindytram471]

Sleep, meditation, healthy diet, exercise, and avoiding toxic people will help with any mental illness.

[@Soundofstav]

Beautifully expressed! Thank you.

[@johndietz768]

I know in my heart that this lady is telling the truth. The whole talk needs watching but the last two minutes - talking about personal stability - were the best part of the talk for me.

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@jennlafleur8518]

Thank you 🙂

[@wipedanweapons195]

It's more than a year now since faced this condition.I have been taking Medicine but have spent some time without as some people tell me taking those drugs for a longer period may cause other health issues. The Most disturbing thing now is not being able to sleep days and nights and sometimes times the brain feeling hot burning pain. Mood swings have reduced to a greater extent Thank you so much for this encouraging message

[@bubthe1Nonlyseal]

What a great story! thank you for sharing!!!! gave me hope.

[@enigma5498]

It feels really good to know and just be reassured that im not the only one. We got this guys!

[@AO-ib3qp]

So helpful and encouraging

[@biankamittermaier7031]

Thank you so much! I can totally rely! Your drawings say so much, it's incredible.

[@eveningstar1]

wonderful talk! thank you for sharing your story.

[@NN-lk1om]

Thank you for this my father has had this condition for over 30 years he too is in a way addicted to the highs and has often compromised himself and others during those episodes the danger and risk goes way up, this video paints an accurate picture think most of us can relate on both sides of the fence

[@mollossergateacademy166]

This was very inspirational thank you I loved the book too

[@paulcomerford1]

Thanks Ellen, I have been diagnosed bipolar for many years and have been stable pushing ten years. SMEDMERTS!!

[@ellenforney9140]

Congrats!!!

[@GawdGenetics]

In tears watching this. I hope I can find my balance one day.

[@GawdGenetics]

Working on it 🫡

[@amongthewildflowers5443]

I'm going through a lot of the "firsts" in dealing with Bipolar 2 disorder. This was so helpful in knowing that I will eventually be stable one day.

[@hellokitgurl4life]

Great and inspirational story!

[@andrealove215]

Currently going through a manic episode as we speak. I am so grateful that I was diagnosed at such a young age. I am just now starting medication. I can already feel the good affects.

[@Nikita3909]

Wish you well! You will be okay very soon ❤️

[@virginiadelrio3665]

Couldn't stop the tears from coming out. So relatable it hurts.

[@leahleeleoni9002]

She describes it PERFECTLY!

[@angelamontemayor1961]

Thanx for sharing

[@voidyfany]

Thank you so much, most amazing story ever. I'm bipolar too, maybe me so tearful but in a very good way, well done on your amazing drawings, so talented, wish you success

[@hkk__]

This has been one of the best Tedtalks!!

[@brittneyhood1887]

Thank you. Currently watching this as a bipolar person, in a depression…. Feeling like it won’t end. You know the doctors tell you it WILL end… but it’s hard to believe/remember that sometimes. Still trying to find the balance. I appreciate your vulnerability in sharing your story.

[@insight7483]

it's not a disorder! It's right brain intelligence, right brain Intelligence is related to the intelligence of sensations. This means your highly sensitive, this means your highly reactive. The solution is to find what causes the intense reactions which is often diet the controlling the sensations you have on a regular basis. Focusing your energy and removing stimulus that makes you over sensitised

[@brittneyhood1887]

@@insight7483 first of all, I never even said the word “disorder”… so please check yourself. Second- I am going to trust my doctors (who follow the DSM, which calls it a disorder) over some random person on the internet who chose to reply to my comment.

[@insight7483]

@Brittney Hood that's fine keep taking your meds my comment was copied and pasted so you have been offended unintentionally

[@Ynnsie]

Thanks for your generosity in sharing this - meaningful to me as the main support to a beloved sibling with BP1 - such a hopeful message you share. Smedmerts is genius.

[@lunaazzurra7995]

Just brilliant....so relateable for me. Like Ellen, after my first major manic episode I found unbelievable comfort and also inspiration in the books of Kay Jamison, William Styron and others. I am now looking for her book!! Awesome talk, thank you😘

[@carolynjaynesauthor5123]

I totally relate to your feelings, words, and drawings. Thank you for your courage to say what many of us can't say. You are an inspiration to me.

[@moirai1161]

im so glad to be able to watch this tedtalk. i suffer with the same disorder and it's really comforting to know that i'm not alone. you're not alone and we're all in this together. for years i always sought balance and i always think that i got it until another episode starts again and lasts for god knows how long… thanks for this ellen!

[@Dotte78]

If it hadn't been for my amazing mom sensing there was something wrong when I asked her to borrow money for a huge tattoo during my first hypomanic episode, I would have half of my back covered now 😂 I am beyond gratefull for my family, friends, and partners, who have been crucial in learning to navigate my illness.