Finding Community Outside of Mormonism - Chelsea & Nick Homer - Mormon Stories 1403

[@amrass08]

Nick was one of my APs in Brazil. He was exactly as he describes-- he was absolutely the most sincere, kind, considerate, hard-working person there. I often felt discouraged by leaders in our mission, but only felt up-lifted by Nick. I don't even remember the names of any other AP in my mission.

[@ligayalacdao6580]

I am an ex Jehovah's Witness and been following Mormon Stories and this has been an encouraging to listen to. Chelsea you are an intelligent, strong, articulate, kind and loving human being. Keep up with the great work that you do in supporting and empowering women. You ROCK!

[@shirleychristiansen3885]

Ligaya, I too am an ex JW and found Mormon Stories a great help and so many similarities with the JW religion. Liked your comment.

[@natashapalinkas1098]

​@@shirleychristiansen3885 l j nlvnv n nn

[@reallifechef6012]

I’m 33, really finally taking a hard look and have decided to leave the church. But truly stuck in the spot of scared to tell family, as I was raised as Mormon as it comes. This process is proving to be trying for my wife and I! Thanks for sharing; and I hope to have chances to talk about this more with people like this!

[@downy1202]

I hope you were able to leave if that is where your heart continued to lead you.

[@stevenneeley1089]

Big thank you to Chelsea for being so public with your journey. You were transitioning publicly at the same time my wife was and you were a MASSIVE help for her. Cannot express in words how grateful I am.

[@CrystalPlattSLC]

I am a feminist and I have such admiration for Chelsea who recognized the injustice of the patriarchy and then took steps to protect her daughter from it. Amazing!

[@ap777t9]

Yes. Chelsea is pretty amazing. Super powerful woman who remains elegant and feminine!

[@naminea2480]

Sorry to hear you’re a feminist. Matriarchat is as bad as Patriarchat. I hope for you, that one day you can stand for equality. Biological gender brings qualities and talents and the moment they are working together equally, the earth can have the best of both worlds.

[@Jack-eo5fn]

Clearly among the finest, most helpful Mormon Stories ever published. Just wow. Impressive couple, individually and together. Thanks deeply for this.

[@ready2danceagain]

I think that comment, 'When you feel like you can't tell your spouse, your parents, your friends how you really feel, you are in an unhealthy relationship.' really gives a great clue as to where you are.

[@muffinmarie01]

It's 3am and I just finished watching the interview with this wonderful couple. Listening to Chelsea's story broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy that they were able to persevere find strength in each other. I am not a mormon but I have been following MS for awhile now and what I find so unbelievably sad is parents and family members turning their backs on their children when they need love and support. This seems to be a common occurrence and I find that tragic. I wish nothing but the best for this young family and all the others that are suffering . My prayers go out to all of you.

[@mckenzievynn]

I'm 21. My husband and I got married a year and a half ago civilly because I "wasn't worthy" but realized soon after we were married how messed up that whole system is and officially started leaving the church. My spouse is still an active member and we've had a very similar experience. Thank you all for sharing and thank you mormon stories for this podcast. I'm autistic and one of my special interests since leaving has become learning about mormon history, other cults, psychology (I've been into psychology for a while now), and such. My husband is supportive and likes learning about these with me but it was so helpful and validating to hear this raw relatable story especially about the harder parts of this past year. Thanks ❤ much love

[@mormonstories]

Welcome!!!

[@sherriekalahermullins8398]

Thanks for taking the time to do this work. I went through my crisis in the early 1980's and walked away from everything. It has been a trauma I'd shelved until a few years ago. I was so detached I knew nothing of Mormon Stories. It was my niece who introduced me to your podcasts and the idea of critical thinking. These two are powerhouse healers. May we all rise above the God who was carved into our hearts as children. THANK YOU!

[@examiningreligiousclaims9883]

This is the LDS Church's worst nightmare. Chelsea was supposed to stay, and Nick was supposed to come back. Chelsea was supposed to write a follow-up to her first blog post, about how her faith and patience led to Nick's re-conversion. But she didn't follow the prescribed narrative. The LDS Church is in serious trouble with all these millennials figuring out the narrative is a fraud.

[@kentthalman4459]

@@ben5259 HIM? Nah, you mean the Q15. These people understand that are spiritual beings regardless of whether they're in or out of the Church.

[@jessiebrowne5215]

I believe the truth is closer to ‘millennials are having a crisis of faith because they’ve been successfully brainwashed by our public school system and the plethora of marxist professors attendant in all universities-and the MSM. Sad, definitely not something to be proud of. I say this experiencing both. I graduated from o university and taught in the public school system. They try really hard to educate the God out of you...and it appears that you’re helping them.

[@kentthalman4459]

@@jessiebrowne5215 Want to learn why millennials are having a truth crises? Read the Church's own Gospel Topic Essays as well as the Church's two articles about the endowment. Members are recognizing that the narrative has changed.

[@goingtothetop55]

@@kentthalman4459 Hello Kent, there's nothing necessarily wrong with "the narrative changing" as long as the core and most essential doctrines stay the same. Which is that there is a God, Jesus did Atone for the sins of the World, and through Faith and obedience, we can return back to them with our loved ones. Everything else has does have some merit and value, but these are the foundation of Faith.

[@kentthalman4459]

@@goingtothetop55 The Endowment is a core ordinance that I was taught cannot change. Not only has the Endowment been changing since 1916, the Church now admits that the ritual that provides the context for the oaths only go back to 1600. The fact that the Church is walking far away from JS's original claims of what the Endowment is and where it came from is as foundational as it gets. October 2019 the JSP Project (funded by the Church) released their report on the BoA (Revelations and Translations, Vol 4). It disqualifies all of JS's original claims. The BoA is canonized. Changes from the Book of Commandments to D&C are substantial and call into the question the reality of the revelations. That is foundational.

[@misswarda78]

I found this to be a really sincere story of a young couple fighting to survive as they battled for authenticity, in the face of a community pushing for conformity. All credit to them for having the integrity to break free from the shackles of expectation despite the enormous family pressures upon them. I am sure it would have been easier for them to just ‘go with the flow’ but their conscience demanded more. You are not alone in sacrificing ‘comfort’ for intellectual honesty. I want to send my love to this beautiful family as they go forward in their lives.

[@saipuakivikaupias]

Extremely well said. I really resonate.

[@katiebevan1938]

What an incredible interview! I am in a faith transition currently and leaving the church is very scary especially when you have been married in the temple and have children. I have been told that life outside of the church doesn’t bring happiness and this brings me hope.

[@josiedimick3105]

Her being afraid of their hotel room on their honeymoon is so sad.

[@HelloThere-iv6to]

What an inspiring, kind & intelligent woman Chelsea is, listening to her honesty, made me cry. I loved how she triumphed over all the obstacles she faced. Wishing you both all the best!

[@1nickoala]

Great interview! Thanks to Chelsea and Nick for sharing. Left church in 2017, had joined at 18, now 67. My 2 daughters have left too. Trying to making it work in my marriage, not easy.

[@jacxbr39]

I love these stories. I’m not even, nor ever have been Mormon, but I grew up baptist. I relate to a lot of this when I stopped attending church, and told my family that I no longer believed. It wasn’t/isn’t as demanding as the LDS church, but your family looking at you like you’re going to hell, and you’re a disappointment... that’s the same. These stories are so helpful to so many even outside of the Mormon church. 💕

[@Mint-kj9kw]

That's because the baptist denomination is very dead. The religious spirit is prominent in both the LDS AND Baptist churches. Jesus still loves you. You just have never had an encounter with Him.

[@iangordon2812]

I have been watching Mormon Stories non stopped. I am a 65 year old Ex Catholic who left my church at the age of fifteen. I now live in Idaho and am surrounded by Mormons so I thought I better learn about your religion to bet understand my neighbors. Over my career I worked for a Mormon owned company and had exMormon friends and I really admired their sense of family and community. What an eye opener into the Mormon religion. It seemed like Mormonism had all the same problems as the Catholic religion times ten. I am now a nonthesist, which is a term taken from philosophy. Any religion/cult that shames members uses guilt to control members, condones sexual abuse on children is wrong/ evil. I can say with out reservations that I would be proud to have any of you Mormon kids as my children. You have no reason to feel shame or to be shamed by your familys or

[@jerleypimentel1088]

Media is so powerful and i have so much respect with this young couple who figured it out their truth , this is an eye opener not only for LDS or the mormon this resonates to all religion , and i personally make peace to myself for my own transition too, this podcast and the most important subject hit every home regardless of any religious affiliations, stay strong , ur beautiful couple inside and out

[@jongottenbos532]

How can the church hear this modesty, shame, and guilt problem and NOT think they are the problem?

[@sc766]

Thank you Chelsea and Nick for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to go public like this and be so open and transparent about very intimate and private feelings and experiences. There are many couples having difficulties with sex and intimacy due to all the shaming and negative talks in church. Wishing you both all the very best! Great interview John!

[@zappa-happy]

John is so great at guidance & questions in ALL his interviews ❤

[@dianameinzinger3202]

Chelsea and Nick, you guys are awesome!! I’m sitting here in Germany right now feeling like I have a community of people I can relate to. So thank you, and thank you John Dehlin!

[@liliksuryani5101]

And I’m sitting here in Belgium! Its tough really to leave the church!

[@missk7001]

Greetings from Austria. Never even met a Mormon bu being hooked on those touching podcasts. So interesting to see other Europeans here and all the best for your journey!! 🦶🧡🤗

[@cutedesignergal]

Went to school with Chelsea and love to hear how she is doing and how beautiful of a marriage she has grown with this awesome guy. I spent 5 tense years of my youth/adolescence in the thick of an "mixed faith" marriage that led to divorce between my parents so it's so good to hear people are opening up and doing better to treat others with value inside and outside any religion. ❤️

[@leahtheanimationfan40]

3:24:25 This is where I'm at with my faith right now. Thank you for sharing. I relate with Chelsea in so many ways

[@Takedownman]

Awesome interview, I love the openness and honesty

[@Spawn303]

Chelsea has a great idea. She loves the aspect of young women’s and the activities they did in the church, (but not the negative attitude and judgement) and she has created a network and group of people that replace the church part but bring in the same lessons and activities. She needs to keep this going. Create a non-profit, start a podcast during lockdown. It would be great if we could build a club house on some property where they can meet safely and controlled and grow!!! She could do this as a hobby and a job

[@taniamarino2328]

Really awesome interview. Thanks so much, Chelsea and Nick. I’m hopeful this is one of many MS interviews that can help my TBM family find the beauty of what’s awaiting them on the outside. 💟

[@doreenb.8928]

Wow, what a tremendous public service. You’re helping so many people...how kind.

[@egonaigner4757]

Love love love this interview. What a remarkable couple. It's a curious irony that Chelsea's article about adjusting to a mixed-faith marriage and learning the deep practice of empathy was removed from the Church website after they transitioned out as a couple. What is the Church hiding? Truth? Reality? The true weight of struggle? The church will continue to manufacture carbon copies, spiritual drones, and weak members, incapable of having authentic relationships with themselves and others; alien to genuine empathy, and foreigners to unconditional love because they isolate and numb their members from the hard and insanely complex realities of life. John, you are a light on a hill. Oppositely, the church is hiding its most treasured talents (its members) under a bushel of shame, censorship, and spiritual fearmongering. One day, I'll come out in the open and speak my truth - and I have a deep and rich history with the Church. Until that day, I gain fresh courage to step into the true light of truth and transparency with each Mormon story you share.

[@mormonstories]

❤️🙏💪

[@Gilded_Cage_Princess]

I was assaulted (raped) within the first year of my conversion. And I felt like i'd been a human to scum of the earth, unworthy of advocating with anyone else. Worse still I'd confided in a mutual friend (and member) about the incident, recounting it to the best of my ability, because I felt broken, emotionally numb, physically sore, and had to grin and bear it when walking to act normal. And what did he do? He gaslit me into believing it wasn't rape because I didn't fight, and therefore consented, that I'd lied and should apologize for making him (my rapist) feel like a monster. Alarmingly this friend does not believe in marital rape. I accepted that because it quieted my inner chaos and confusion a little Went to a counselor for something unrelated and he'd noticed something wrong and validated me, (that what was done, had been rape. I cried to my bishop the following Sunday, where I was given the gently uncomfortable questions about Sex that bishops think they have to, to decide how best to deal with you. What were you wearing? What were you doing? Did you want/enjoy it in any way? Victim shaming/blaming. So decided then that I should not take the sacrament (nothing like making the rest of the congregation question your sins) it took me a year to stop having panic attacks, flashbacks and feel again. And by that I mean I had to think through and recall appropriate emotional reactions to things because I felt nothing at all The chewed gum wnalegy wasn't taught to me directly, but I definitely felt that by how much value they placed on the pure and chaste. I almost married the guy. (He'd gotten baptized, so I felt it was wrong to hold what he'd done to me against him) stupid yes, but I was preached forgiveness and really wanted to be a good Mormon. I have a child out of wedlock (this guy is thankfully not the father) but my son and the church's protection of abusers among their members, the pressure to marry the abusive father of my child, or else give him up for adoption for his salvation. Because I was trying to find another mom in my situation in the church, a story online or an example to cling to. But I found instead a bunch of nightmare stories of how the church pushes single or young unmarried parents to forfit their children to upstanding church families. My RS president suggested I give this child up for adoption, then start w new family after I'd gotten married because abortion is obviously out of the question.i'd considered suicide tho. Keeping my toddler from Covid has been my reason to not go back whenever asked. But I'll never be taking my child through those doors.

[@drnmedia]

That is so great that you use time stamps to jump to the items that are the most interesting to an individual. Honestly when I see videos of this length I just pass it by but with this format I can take in the information that is useful to me. Thank you!

[@smiles_14]

Great sharing. I sure wish there were videos and support groups I could find when my husband and I left the church 20 years ago. Lately I have been listening to a lot of Mormon stories because we left in isolation. I didn't realize that I had healing processing still to do. It's so refreshing to hear from others! My husband told me yesterday that he wishes that he had an x-mormon support group now. Now I know some groups to search for. Thanks!

[@sweetpea6179]

Wow wow wow. What an incredibly vulnerable sensitive story. May you both be blessed individually and as a couple. Thank you so much. I am not Mormon, but thus has validated my own journey of questioning ,

[@serricott]

I am blown away by the honesty and vulnerability of both Chelsea and Nick, but mostly Chelsea. These are some really hard, painful things to experience and talk about, and I really appreciate that they’ve shared them with others so that we can more fully understand our own experiences and know that we are not alone. Thank you John and thank you Nick and Chelsea for this touching, inspiring interview.

[@LoganBeck]

A great podcast that hit home. 1) I love the transparency of emotions about the hardship while transitioning, especially regarding facing opposing family members. I’m currently facing some family issues due to my coming out, which was very therapeutic and informative. 2) I was impressed and moved by how John says that he evaluates himself on how well he is doing as a parent; Child-Parent Transparency is a meter of trust of comfort. Due to leaving the faith, I’ve frequently wondered how to evaluate my parenting and child’s well-being if there is no medium such as a Church?

[@h.r.9563]

Coming from someone estranged from their parents the best thing a parent can do is listen to their child and believe them. I would love it if my parents actually valued me as a person and not lesser as a woman

[@amygreen758]

Leaving has been a unique experience for me. Hearing all the stories from varying people, is my new religion on Sundays :-). My spouse and I have loved lifting our heads and turning our ears to truth and real humanity, instead of that corporate performance. This week we gave our tithing to The Road Home instead. It feels great to take your power and intelligence back. Thanks for sharing!

[@imranpaxton6538]

You prolly dont give a damn but does anybody know a tool to get back into an Instagram account? I somehow lost the password. I would appreciate any help you can offer me!

[@hollayevladimiroff131]

You are doing the right thing, stay strong in the true Lord, I left a year ago and I am so happy!!

[@Rjohnson8641]

A great interview Chelsea and Nick. Thanks for being authentic and sharing your journey. Life is beautiful, and you have communicated this well.

[@funkyfreshtx]

John, I really appreciate the timestamps in the description. Helps when I want to go back to a certain topic in the discussion and/or show somebody a topic. It would be awesome if it became a regular thing

[@peters6874]

this interview really has shown a light to the inequality between men and women, that in order for women to be members they need to have a "faithful" husband. i think chelsea is such a powerhouse of a women for speaking her feelings and being able to share how she felt while being a member of the church.

[@lindiehammond7921]

I'm only 25 minutes in so at the beginning of their story but the way the both of them are looking at one another as they speak with such admiration, is wonderful! One thing I will say after watching several of these videos is even those the interviewees are all ex Mormons you can see so much to respect from their upbringings.

[@riptide311]

So grateful for this episode. Hearing from a younger couple navigating a faith crisis and being able to relate is helpful. My wife joined the Facebook group and looking forward to meetups when they can happen.

[@mariannepolkowski-burns2627]

These stories are extremely interesting. I lived in SLC for 14 years as a non-Mormon. A unique experience in my life with living in a minority situation. I’m Subscribed!!

[@elainamuhlestein7923]

Her story is exactly like mine. The shame, the honeymoon fear, the pain of all of it! I appreciate you sharing! So healing for me. Thank You!

[@mariannepolkowski-burns2627]

Adding: for so many people this is very helpful. Wonderfully empathetic approach.

[@williamserink]

I found Chelsea's Instagram page a few months ago. She is a light in what can be a very dark space. I'm so greatful for those who are so vulnerable and willing to share to help others. Thank you all for sharing!!

[@shannonfisher6872]

TOTALLY RELATE TO HONEYMOON STORIES.....being brought up RLDS. We did not have premarital sex....and our honeymoon was disappointing and painful . It was Not at all like in the movies. Really didn’t solve most of the pain fullness until after our first child. I made sure my children knew exactly what to expect....we talked about things like that from the time they were pre teens. And did not try to influence their decisions on when to start having sex( once they were of age)

[@michellemartone4417]

This couple is so great and open to share their experiences. My heart just hurts to hear some of their stories. Especially their honeymoon experience. They deserve better starting their lives together. Their story just validates even more the cult-like institution that is Mormonism.

[@aubrey6538]

It really resonated with me when they were talking about the rowboats picking people up out of the ocean and realizing it’s not this horrible thing to leave the good ship Zion. I am so grateful to be a part of women ex Mormon Facebook page. It is so refreshing to hear the same things I’ve been thinking be validated.

[@elliescott2315]

Trying to understand mormon faith and watching this entire pod confirms that the mormon faith is not about faith in God but faith in self and power.

[@kerstinklenovsky239]

You are a delightful couple. You deserve better than suffering and being made to suffer over your sincere choices. 😥

[@awakening2979]

Glad you are able to find new meaning and peace outside of the church!

[@thomasgomm2425]

This was so validating. Thank you, thank you thank you, for sharing such intimate details that I can relate to!

[@brettbarney4927]

I almost didn't watch this because of my own biases about Utah Mormons. I'm so glad that I didn't stop there, that I watched and listened to Chelsea and Nick. Thank you to the two of them. And thanks to John for making a way for me to hear them and asking thoughtful questions. This is the sort of stuff that makes me really glad to donate to Mormon Stories. I should probably up my commitment.

[@damonm3]

Being a Mormon is really tuff, especially when you realize it’s all a bunch of lies. And they guilt trip you into complying. More lies. Man I wish I could save all the great people from this awful corporation

[@tammyg8031]

Amen. I was a JW. Same feeling that you have. All these cults are going down and the leaders are going to pay for what they have done.

[@ready2danceagain]

I also was a JW. Very similar tactics. 35 minutes in when hubby is describing his houseboat vacation... dressing in ties, doing worship, etc.... We did not go this far, but would do similar things at times. Not all JWs would. Strikingly similar "routines'.

[@monicaenriquez8643]

This couple we’re so brave and I’m so happy for them and their children!

[@utahmassage]

John, You always ask people what their favorite primary song was growing up. LOL This young couple are very sweet, articulate people. I’m glad they survived their faith crisis!

[@bodytrainer1crane730]

That story about Chelsea's "scripture" on the riverboat at Lake Powell ......OH MY Goodness she was BRAVE!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@brandoningersoll5034]

The only mens group that has worked is my mtn bike group. I don’t know what these guys do for work, who they voted for, what Church they belong to...it hardly ever comes up...but I love these guys & feel supported!

[@untamed.learner]

What a healing experience I had listening to it ❤️😭thank you guys !

[@danabaileyeads4053]

The part about the patriarchal blessings...that was one of the first red flags for me. After I got mine a friend was reading hers (naughty, naughty) to us all and it was the same as mine!! THAT'S why we aren't supposed to share them. lol

[@77Tadams]

I’m so glad this is here for people recovering from Mormonism.

[@richardpratt391]

Thank you for sharing your story Chelsea and Nick.

[@jnicholes79]

So much in this interview touched me, but this hit me so strong ... (paraphrasing) ... “I don’t want to try, or do that, because I don’t want people to weaponize it against me.” It’s like saying ... “I make my choices based on what other people could think, or say, about me.” At what point do you stop trying to please others and focus on your own choices and happiness?

[@jordanalexander8099]

I left the church and my wife has decided to stay. But she is more than happy to come with me to post Mormon community groups. Is there any groups any Utah county? Having some friendships with the same mindset would be helpful, especially living in Utah county.

[@gabriellemanier2223]

Me and my husband are both recovering addicts who were addicted to heroin and crack cocaine, we were homeless in the streets of Detroit, Michigan. He grew up in the church and i was a convert. We got sealed in the temple and were your typical mormons. Through prayer the Lord pulled us out of the church recently. Especially after the huge push for vaccines and everything going on after covid....super corrupt. The Lord really has called us to be seperate of the church and truly live for Him. To really know who He is. Biblically speaking!

[@leahtheanimationfan40]

The Covid vaccine and mask promotion spoken by the PROPHET was one of the things that got my mom to start questioning the church. In my family, we believe that masks aren't effective and that the Covid vaccine is unsafe and ineffective. My mom is an engineer who works at a company that builds medical devices and my dad is a nurse practitioner. We know several people that got Covid after being vaccinated, and I actually had the first vaccine out of peer pressure but I didn't get a second one because my body's reaction to the first dose was terrible

[@SadieHughesTexasLubbock2015]

So so so so grateful for Chelsea and Nick.

[@jadejohnson3144]

This was such a great interview ❤️

[@SD-co9xe]

Wow . Thank you for being so honest. I can relate to so many things you said.

[@josephr.gainey2079]

1:14:33 Having been raised in the Holiness movement (Pentecostalism without speaking in tongues), I understand their repression too well and feel their pain.

[@teknophyle1]

2:22:15 Can we get a short clip of John's statement here to share on social media? 3:13:55 I would argue that people leave because of the lies and toxicity and after they're out they see that we only think things are bad because that's what we were taught. I wouldn't say alcohol is "healthy" now, but recognize that if you educate yourself on how to drink in moderation it isn't necessarily unhealthy either. 3:25:12 YES absolutely! transitioning through agnostic to atheist doesn't mean giving up spirituality. Respect for the planet, ecosystems and circle of life has as much meaning for me now as a hypothetical afterlife ever did.

[@winnithschrywer2011]

WOW!!! Thank you for your honesty........... I see myself in Chelsea........and I'm 43!!!! And I never put doctrine together with this....

[@abrahamdelacruz8389]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Best of luck moving forward

[@chubydukskruber7969]

Would love to meet you both sometime an event. My wife and I had many similarities to your first year. A podcast that I loved that led me to question my own faith was called “Secular Jihadists”. It’s about Ex-Muslims and their faith journeys/transitions. That resonated with me and helped start to look internally.

[@joecook5689]

When Nick says he liked girls growing up, but just knew it was a sin to act on it, I can relate. That's why I think some people are born gay. A child knows which gender they are attracted to.

[@susanwilliams70]

I really enjoyed listening to both your stories! Thanks for sharing! Since I left the church I've accepted myself as more agnostic (not afraid to say "I don't Know"whether there is a God or a "Higher Power"). I am a strong believer in science also. And that is OKAY!

[@CARPETMAN6666]

I look at people that were able to grow up with no major red flags and I wonder how they ever got away from the church. I was one of those that got to see you behind the curtain a little bit. I definitely saw how the sausage was made. The only thing that kept me in the church at all was that I had very good parents. And I figured that they were that way because of the church. Cuz I got older and wiser I realized that wasn't the case. I was one of the horror stories. So it was easy to for me to see past things.

[@MillaJ100]

Thank you for being so direct about intimacy. Proud of you!

[@drbulbul]

Loved this interview. Thanks!

[@K777angel]

They really are sweet together. Way to go team.

[@livehealthyfinishstrong]

Love these two! So inspiring!

[@donnalansberry5559]

Being put into quarantine, was a perfect parallel to how others react.

[@winxred12]

Ah Chelsea, my heart goes out to you . I also had a difficult childhood without a patriarch and a mother desperately holding on to the church and whose live revolves around it. Feeling less than, not understanding why my mom tried so hard to get my dad involved until my own research. I’m still not out and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be, even with my never Mormon husband, I’m still scared 🥺🥲😭

[@Moksha-Raver]

That LDS saying about not being "of this world" sounds like it is especially true at BYU.

[@chrismorgan510]

Sexy time in the first few months of our marriage was very similar! I think it’s the case with the majority of members. But it’s just too taboo to talk about openly.

[@starkovichforster]

I think men are often socially conditioned to distract themselves through activities. We don't always feel that we "need" to talk among ourselves. We often are conditioned that our wives are the place we are to go to be open. Even leaving a very strict gender role group, we continue the pattern through conditioning without always recognizing how deep that conditioning goes. It takes real courage for men to fully break those molds and truly connect with one another so we can fully heal, not just escape.

[@wynnrichards]

Amazing interview!

[@h.r.9563]

2:16:00 now the teaching is "as long as you're righteous you'll still receive celestial marriage blessings.

[@ndawgstrike]

I love these podcasts because it gives me hope that one day my wife and I can hopefully move on from the church and finally have a relationship not influenced by the church. It's been a year since my faith crisis and me and her have come a long way but we are still so far from getting to where Nick and Chelsea are. Thanks for sharing your experience and for giving me hope that my marriage can survive without the church.

[@LisaR2392]

The sadness in Nick’s face as Chelsea spoke about the honeymoon and after. Mormonism is so mentally harmful! I feel so sorry for them both!

[@thomasmoore3204]

Ha! The end around 3:15:00 when John and the Homers where they were wondering why men's support groups don't take off.... Well if you''ve ever went to a priesthood quorum or any other priesthood or church basketball game...You'll see most men can't get congruent or get on the same "wavelength" in their thinking.

[@siren3197]

I find it interesting that many that leave the Mormon church no longer believe in God. God exists outside the Mormon church. Actually, when I was in the Mormon church, it seemed like God took a back seat to Joseph Smith, The Book of Mormon, The Word of Wisdom and other myths.

[@fellowviewer1095]

Once one becomes critical it's hard not to see the BS in other religions as well.

[@mindeloman]

Unfortunately, or fortunately - depending on how you look at - the mental conditioning it takes to unwind Mormonism, can also be used to unwind EVERY religion.

[@kelleygall3644]

@@fairygrandma9127 follow haleigh Everett’s !! She’s just what you described

[@SevenLlamas]

Also lapsed LDS, I feel this couple's pain. Like me, both were raised by religious addicts. In one way M'ism coddles us-- not only does it give us all the answers to life, but everywhere we go in the world there's a community ready to take us in almost like family. On the other hand, the price for belonging can be heavy. I missed my older son's babyhood thru running around magnifying 5 callings for my ward. Also, I never really had to learn important social skills such as forming a network of friends on my own. Unfortunately, this podcast only touches on this issue: creating community outside the womb of M'ism not only for ourselves but for our children + g'children. (Another note: it would be nice to hear more from Nick. This is largely Chelsea's podcast. I'd like to hear more of his thoughts and experiences.)

[@dr.anthonytrabue7426]

I go to a nondenominational Evangelical church of about 1200 people, It is a landing place for folks of many backgrounds, both Christian and non-Christian. There are a few former LDS in membership. I listened to the story of one fellow that is pretty similar to this presentation. Everyone's journey is different...

[@cianoaichir2725]

Glad you guys are free from the cult, there's more to the world than Utah and it's insular ways.you won't be judged,you will be welcomed,just try it😊 Catholic Protestant whatever, you get one life, enjoy it,embrace it and go through it without the shackles of a conman.Christ loves and forgives you regardless of a charlatan from the 1800s.Life is meant to be lived to increase your Christianity and understanding. As an Irishman who's obviously not mormon I love this podcast,the only way this cult can be broken is from the inside out,not from outsiders like me who generally want to judge and slander

[@meganarnold8803]

John, I love you and your work, but please stop referring to Elementary Education as a less-important career choice/missed opportunity for women. Educators are already undervalued in our culture, and while some probably do choose it for the wrong reasons, please remember that others do it because they feel strongly about educating young minds and being a positive part of many children’s growth and development. Maybe just consider being more thoughtful when referring to those who pick education as their path. Thanks! Keep up the good work! Xo

[@mormonstories]

You are so right! I’m so sorry! That’s not what I mean to communicate! Thank you Megan!!!

[@meganarnold8803]

@@mormonstories No worries at all, I only mentioned it because I knew you'd appreciate the feedback! I absolutely love, appreciate, and respect all you do for this community. Thank you! Sending my best!

[@stevenneeley1089]

OMG John if you want your first beer to be memorable, come visit me in Albuquerque and I'll make sure it's one you'll like. Craft brew scene here is phenomenal.

[@grannytrez]

I grew up very strict catholic and out of high school went directly into the convent. Eight years later when it was time to make final vowels, I said no came home the next year I went into Peace Corps and married another volunteer like the girl here no one has ever seen me naked not even myself I had never seen a man, I’d be honest I thought they would look like the statues so when my husband came, I was terrified I had no idea where that huge thing was supposed to go and it hurt I was terrified

[@silviayanes5128]

In Montana we had a group of single adults that every Monday we use to have a potluck and read scriptures and play games it was a family evening it was such a great group, somebody from church came after sacrament meeting to tell us that we could no have groups out of church…. They are so paranoid that we probably will create another church 🤫😬😬😬

[@rublar75]

Chelsea's feelings were in the right place for them, they were her friends but once she questioned or doubted then eventually decide to leave mormonism, after discovering the truth, they shunned her. That is far from Christ like. The mormon love is conditional. How can these simple false teachings of a cult not throw up red flags to their followers? The Greatest Commandment in Matthew 22:34-40 states: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

[@coyotelong4349]

Pretty random observation but Nick resembles Matt Damon a little bit, especially from the side But excellent, beautiful interview... I would love to see Chelsea & Nick come back for a follow-up