First Time Dating a German Girl ft

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

FOLLOW ME instagram.com/rachmanblake www.tiktok.com/@rachmanblake facebook.com/rachmanblakelive

[@deewhy1073]

Did you are one of the funniest men alive bro 😂😂😂😂💯

[@niceandkind7]

You are naaaasssty in all your vids. But thank you again for making us laugh.

[@apollomars1678]

Scheide.....better than Schamlippen.

[@lorenzocarbajalchavez6865]

Fzvcc"T

[@Vivii_666]

as a german from berlin who moved to a different city to study, i can confirm, every person i met there is from a small town near Stuttgart

[@selina.yse54]

Wo wohnst du denn?

[@rasecno612]

True lol

[@NoTbAdDuDE134]

this is so accurate it scares me

[@jeremienlandu6331]

Yes

[@elenaapfel7057]

Wait nooo, why is this so true. Greetings from a small town near Stuttgart

[@ximaxwellix]

"So I show up early, so she gets turned on by my punctuality." ... this is the most german thing I've ever heard xDDDD

[@TheWarriorofHonor]

you didn't heard about switzerland yet mate ....

[@theoneandonlyshrek124]

Diese Kommentar Sektion ist jetzt Eigentum der Bundesrepublik Deutschland

[@mangocipiano9354]

Shrek, seit wann bist du deutsch !?

[@Miolaurent]

Ich wollte das grade kommentieren gehen lol xD

[@oiy3308]

I've seen enough memes to understand what that means.

[@ih4t3u28]

Ein Land, ein Reich, ein Kommentarbereich

[@kimotamusic5532]

@@oiy3308 i dont get it. what meme?

[@MrFusselig]

He is absolutely right about the Bodypart words. "Schamlippen" and "Brustwarzen" that's terrible xD

[@epaminon6196]

'Brustwarzen' = 'Chest warts' Like, seriously?

[@epaminon6196]

'Schamlippen' = 'Shame lips' Yeah... I'm gonna stick to English during sex. 'Tis the better choice.

[@micejordan8084]

This is why nobody uses them😁

[@nero1798]

Most Germans don't really use the word Brustwarzen and just use the word Nippel.

[@mickybangtang8447]

@@epaminon6196 no one uses 'tis ..this ain't the 16th century my guy

[@annabrioso1436]

Just keep in mind It doesn't matter how fast you drive in Germany, there is always someone faster than you 🇩🇪

[@moritzlaszlo3115]

I'm going 240km/h but I still do my Schulterblick ☝️

[@satanchrist4820]

@@moritzlaszlo3115 holy fuxk man

[@juliusubalde3847]

This guy is so underrated. He deserves to be known and have many subscribers. Love your stories bro, so hilarious 🤣

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

I appreciate that

[@chioj36]

"And YOUR life mat-urs" I fuckin died

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

#truestory

[@tomwaschesczio5710]

A bit cringy but also quit funny (at least in the moment) and if degrading talk is your thing - it's on point, too.

[@Stylomagic]

I am Russian but living in Germany for a long time, still the rules get me everytime. When my parents and I first time went for a walk in a forest, we discovered something very bizzar: "Privatweg" we stood there and discussed for half an hour if we can use it... A man passed by and we still weren't sure, maybe it was HIS Privatweg.

[@jazzg.6771]

😂😂😂😂😂oh no Actually you are not allowed to use it, sorry🙈

[@Stylomagic]

@@jazzg.6771 Really?! 😅😅 OMG we always walked there for maybe 3 years or so 😅😅 Then we moved to another city. For what are these private paths actually?! I mean the forest doesn't belong to one person.

[@TinaKGreene]

So did you find out what it meant eventually? Like a path for one person or what? Need this information for my trip to Germany.

[@theresabu3000]

there are privatly owned forests and pastures - which are not fenced of. Half of the forest in germany is privatly owned - and the owner can forbid you from entering it. But if you stay on the official ways there is nothing to worry about. And if you're alone and don't bother anyone. Well it's not Sweden, but if you don't destroy the nature nothing should happen to you

[@Tippix3]

@@Stylomagic a forest can belong to one person, we own a huge part of one.

[@xolisilekhuzwayo]

his female voice is hilarious 😂😂😂

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

#FACTS

[@molebohengmaphepha80]

Love it🤣

[@annaluciaschmitz]

Yeah it’s awesome haha 😂

[@jon12700]

As a German I must say that was funny as shit, the German words scattered through was great and it was so fucking good And also it seems I found a new great comedian xD

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

If you're still in Germany come to the live show! bit.ly/StoryPartyTour

[@kiszikoszi]

@@RachmanBlakeLive bro you're such a good comedien, i think of going to the one in frankfurt or Stuttgart cause you're so awesome

[@tandycandy6861]

“And your life matters”🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@rubenfaes2395]

How many germans here? Wie viele Deutsche haben das wohl gesehen😂😂tschüss

[@babamama1099]

Einige haha

[@simoneffzeh4792]

Viele 😂😂😂

[@antocost]

Mega haha

[@andreasplesko1543]

Jaja, ich sehe das programm. Ich bin deutsch und finden das programm sehr amusant.

[@boohda1995]

Tschüssi xD

[@ChipCalifornia]

"Vater, what are these?" "Ahh! Schamlippen! Kein Ficken!" I´m dead :DDD

[@JimmyGuy996]

HAHAHAHAHAH I DIES ASWELL HAHAHA

[@shadesmarerik4112]

when u ask ur father about ur sex organs....

[@mrniceguy4277]

I never realized that it means something like "shame lips" lmao

[@ALT3PFL3G3R]

Ich liebe die Geschichte, man merkt das er tatsächlich weiß wovon er redet, mit Übertreibungen. 10/10 tschüss tschüss ...

[@Leo-uu8du]

"Ciao, Servas!" and "Pfiatti baba!" are more common in my area.

[@maryjane2965]

Haha hilarious he has Germans figured out 100%!This was on point lol.

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Come to the live show! facebook.com/StoryPartyTour/events

[@ng9706]

Dude is just pure comedic gold tschüssie

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Come to the live show! facebook.com/StoryPartyTour/events

[@akileaf4029]

But also in a really high pitched voice. It’s great

[@moritzlaszlo3115]

I'm born in Germany, but my grandmother always tells me to never forget my hungaryan heritage. A couple of years ago I was driving on the Autobahn with 240km/h. I had to pass an other car and I made a Schulterblick (checking for other cars in the dead spot of your mirror) because there is a real chance that someone else is way faster than you and I suddenly realized "I'm German af!"

[@AATproducer]

Well... If it's about safety I don't think it is something negetiv 😅

[@nastyasolo3052]

Turned ON by my punctuality👏😂❣️

[@MellonVegan]

Honestly, relatable

[@xotra9170]

Geschichten aus dem Paulanergarten.

[@khristianefischmann2951]

Ein wahrsteiner wäre auch nicht so Lust 😂🤣😂

[@NiliMoto]

Is doch egal obs wahr is oder nich. Hab mir den arsch abgelacht 🤣

[@khristianefischmann2951]

@@NiliMoto dito

[@SirHenry98]

@@NiliMoto wahr :D

[@rajikage3098]

Lmaooo

[@PogoDarnexx]

Gut genug 😂 Also I never ever said bye to someone in the Elevator xD

[@paulseifert3329]

Ich auch nicht

[@dermilfschreck]

Noch nie gehört, dass das jmd macht

[@visual_chris]

Same

[@Nobinxa]

I read it's regional. Don't do it in northern germany ;)

[@solus8685]

My mom does it lmaoo

[@adrianarodrigues2595]

"And your life matters!" 😂😂 I wasn't expecting that 😂😂 Really funny!! And I love german language

[@bl4nk334]

As a German this is the funniest shit ever

[@steini711]

To be fair there is a lot of small villages outside of Stuttgart 😂😅

[@shadesmarerik4112]

not only outside Stuttgart

[@i354]

Im from north germany and I went to the south for holiday this year. At first I felt so bad for realising how unfriendly I apparently am and when I came back I was actually offended by everyone being "unfriendly"

[@MegaMayday16]

I feel it's a superficial friendliness in the south. I am from Cologne it's in the middle so we are 50% friendly and 50% "rude". I have a friend from Stuttgart and if we go to a Brauhaus in Cologne she can't handle the service Kellner. She feels they are rude. I feel they are funny and easy going.

[@larahoyer3654]

I don't think people in Northern Germany are rude though? In Hamburg everyone is just stressed out lmao.

[@Luikaon]

@@MegaMayday16 babbelsch dumm fliegsch im eggel rum

[@renazbaghchaiy6278]

@@MegaMayday16 ich weiß was du meinst 😅 ich bin im Süden aufgewachsen und habe für 5 Jahre in Berlin gelebt. ICH HAB'S GELIEBT !!! Dieses hinterfotzige Getue war einfach nicht mehr existent; Berliner Kotterschnauze 🥰🥰🥰 und nun geht's nach knapp 3 Jahren (wieder im Schwoabaländle 🥴) weiter nach NRW ♥️♥️♥️

[@fjeldfross9327]

I am from lower saxony, was Born near Cologne. I Just say, I Like the northern mentality way better. The friendlyness in Cologne seems Just superficial, not honest.

[@rextek5421]

This dude made me hate my own language in 20 minutes xD

[@anuragjangam]

Woah a guy from germany who watches anime? Thats so great. But isnt prirating banned in germany? Do you perhaps use netflix for anime?

[@tufan5572]

Same

[@volderhamer]

@@anuragjangamIt's called a VPN :D Not all Germans are all about rules... (Although many are)

[@Sinan97082]

I am a "Bürger mit Migrationshintergrund" (Citizen with migration background, yeah shw contradictory) basically grew up in germany and I am CRACKING UP here xD

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

:)

[@lamberko]

Being a German I laughed my a** of. 😂😂😂👍👍👍

[@loruuu7730]

For me as a german your deutsch is truly funny, like u speak it very well even tho u parody it mostly😂 and sexytalk in german is near impossible

[@Viet-Thong]

"Schneller!" 🤣

[@shadesmarerik4112]

he learned German from porn, give him some slack

[@timofaust1315]

It gets even worse if your partner is from rural Saxony ...

[@stimmedervernunft4871]

As a German I can only say he's on point. This was extremely entertaining, thank you 🤣 Tschüß!

[@Leo-uu8du]

I am wondering why Tschüß sounds so aggressive? In Austria we use Tschau (or more often "Pfiatti" or "Servas", but that's a different story) and I always thought that Tschüß is just a germanized version of Tschau (from Italian Ciao), but nobody would say that Italian sounds aggressive. I now know that they are not related in that sense (the German one comes from French), but still they sound very similar.

[@luissuarez4773]

I hope is a matter of time before you get a netflix special, this is pure gold man!!

[@mistymiller673]

I'd watch that- but they'd have him take out the 'r' word at the end

[@schmatithe4th47]

the speed limit thing is so true

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Right!

[@anneliegiesbrecht1366]

Oh yeah no speed limit can be very tempting. :-D And breaking even the slightest rules like not talking in the library is quite funny too sometimes.

[@Seeeevi]

The people from Liechtenstein and Switzerland are worse though. "Oh, a 500€ fine for going 40km/h over the speed limit? Guess that's one beer less for me next time I'm going out then"

[@mateussaldanhademagalhaes1987]

As a German I have to say this is really relatable. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Also your German accent is pretty good!

[@MellonVegan]

Yeah, sounds like a real one, not just the stereotype.

[@risii2753]

"hallo" ..enters sauna :-D

[@khalid9448]

OMG I DIEDD

[@rush2112andahalf]

He forgot to mention that Saunas are usually MIXED! I'm of German parentage but raised in prudish catholic Ireland, and my first walk into a German sauna was embarrassing. There were naked (and beautiful) women in there..I thought I was in the wrong one, apologized and sped out again ...quickly! A naked lady followed me into the men's room (no big deal in Germany, men entered sauna from their changing room, and the girls from theirs) and said to me in english "You must be a foreigner, Saunas are mixed here, its ok to come in" . So, back in I went, and they were laughing. I was "struggling" to say the least. ;-)

[@yesthisisdonut]

either this guy did amazing research or he actually went through this. all that stuff checks out

[@TobiasWelz_]

Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Kommentarbereich.

[@vanessatran7700]

Me watching this, living in a small village outside of Stuttgart

[@i2harry]

“And your life matter”

[@redwhiteben111]

Yeah , when you translate "Schamlippen" without context into english it means "shame lips" And "Brustwarzen" means "breast warts" Its really terrible😂😂

[@Leo-uu8du]

Btw Schamlippe is a translated loanword of Latin: Labium Pudendum Labium = Lippe Pudendum = Scham I guess nobody would say that Latin sounds terrible because of this.

[@madmarty7103]

this is the funniest horror-sex-story I've ever heard.

[@nipunbhushan]

Dude touched upon a grave issue with characteristic hilarity. Kudos!

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Thank you :)

[@komradson7357]

He did! He is so funny!

[@fightthechaos781]

i live in a small village outside of stuttgart :)

[@andyfin8845]

Can I teach you English from India 😂🤣

[@LuckySoaringTiger]

What an invitation - lucky blake.

[@Sinan97082]

Ok, das muss sein, nimm es mir bitte nicht übel: "Wanna make a porn?" 😅🖖 O.K, Tschüss!

[@enigmas_karnivore28]

Ahhhhhhh

[@blackphoenix_02]

Ich wohne in einer Stadt etwa eine Stunde von Stuttgart entfernt, aber immer wenn mich jemand frägt wo ich wohne, sage ich in einem kleinen Dorf neben Stuttgart 🤣🤣

[@aranyakpathak1651]

Watching him & Elena is my daily dose of laughter/good vibes. Would love to watch your live stand up in Tucson.

[@sorenfuhrer401]

As a German, I laughed so hard during this. Amazing. His German voice is hilarious

[@Czoki92]

German here: Never said goodbye to anyone on the elevator, I guess I'm rude af. The thing about rules and the Autobahn is true though. I laughed so hard! 😅

[@Czoki92]

Oh, and we have the word "Nippel" too. Most people I know don't say "Brustwarze." 😉

[@sittaeuropaea8646]

At the speedlimit part I (as a german) thought like "no, it's not that bad with people going crazy fast" but then I remembered a story of a friend of mine. She was in Autralia for a year, so she always had to drive with a speedlimit and when she was coming back to Germany, the first time she was on the Autobahn (highway) without a speedlimit she actually went so fast that her car broke....

[@anjabruckner5838]

Whenever I accelerate on the Autobahn I now think about you and these accurate noices - simply on point 😂

[@AnjaliJangra10]

I need to meet this girl, she sounds amazing!

[@nerab.5678]

Yassssss the bro is back!!!!

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

You betcha

[@dontpanic7940]

Kein Schweiß auf Holz! Tschüss

[@deanluminouslfc]

Bro you are watchable, all the way from SOUTH AFRICA.

[@chananis3000]

As a German it’s scary how accurate all of this is...

[@johannalein37]

Where are my girls from a small town outside of Stuttgart 😂☝🏻

[@shadesmarerik4112]

Hey, i live in Tübingen, come over some time if u like (or maybe better dont, i live like a bear in a cave since Corona)

[@raywilliams212]

And your life matters, Im DECEASED

[@anikaw5378]

I’ve been crying with laughter. Thank you so much for this.

[@xuelongmu7265]

Incredible storytelling, thanks for the laughs

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@AnjaliJangra10]

The "dude from India'" line killed me😂

[@BlackWater_49]

10:30 Your vehicle has to be able to go at least 60 km/h to be allowed on the Autobahn in the first place sooo there's no 50 km/s speed limit unless it's construction work or something to that effect.

[@mistynightsatnoon]

As a german, I relate to this sooo much and he’s so funny Super underrated but just half as funny if you don’t know what he’s saying.

[@johannamayer4527]

Ich schmeiß mich weg! Die deutsch sprachigen Gesprächseinwürfe... 🤣🤣🤣 Übrigens zur Brustwarze sagt man hier doch eher Nippel 😉 Ich freu mich auf mehr Videos von Dir ❤️

[@dawnvega383]

Your life matters! Never thought that would make me laugh!

[@ella9693]

Hey man, I really appreciate how you're able to makes jokes about porn in a non-vulgar way that makes people reflect on their own addictions while laughing! Wonderful job! Keep it up!

[@MrHodoAstartes]

Yeah, every girl you got in Berlin was from a small village around Stuttgart because hundreds of thousands of them moved into Berlin because Stuttgart is ridiculously expensive and Berlin is cheap and exciting. Seriously, if they catch you in Berlin with a Franconian accent you are not having a good time.

[@annan8804]

2-3 times suffered a Day 🤭🤣🤩 Greetings from Poland! 🇵🇱

[@ildefixa]

When i realize he is in Berlin I started to Wonder, how it is possible he didnt visit Poland yet. Would be so fun to see him in Warsaw, and im also curious what his stores would be :) ;D

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Will return soon :)

[@chicken8wings]

Huge expat community in Berlin on diff social media groups - I would recommend having friends posting on there to get your name out. This content is what we dig!!

[@diptisengupta2864]

I saw this video and booked a ticket for the nearest show. Cannot wait to watch it live!!

[@MeJustAimy]

Forgot how hilarious this guy is. Haven't watched his videos in a while, glad he's back on it

[@mazore-z]

This guy is someone who makes me laugh like crazy everytime I think he is just one of the best comedians for sure

[@toro5280]

You killed it, man! From the Tschüssie to the Penguin, all real and hilarious stuff! Thank you!

[@moussabby]

Hilarious! I'm new to Germany and can't wait to see you in Stuttgart!

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Yes!!! Tickets-> ti.to/story-party/story-party-stuttgart-true-dating-stories-6

[@hanaamaria]

Youre hilarious just saw that you’re also coming to my hometown Frankfurt am Main 👌🏽 so excited

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

See you there!

[@minniemouse7348]

This is gold! I can't hahahahaha😂 Greetings from Austria 🇦🇹

[@leoniee1545]

"It's so bad you gotta switch to another language!" OMG so true -.- xD I have never met anyone (aside from my gynocologist) who used "Scheide", "Schamlippen", or "Brustwarzen".

[@randomsurname9090]

Saying goodbye in an elevator is probably a southern thing (correct me if I'm wrong). In Hamburg, we just leave and that's that.

[@DE-dk5zk]

I‘m from Lower Bavaria and I don’t know that as well.

[@isras6702]

It must be common to people from the small villages near Stuttgart 😆

[@moritzg9929]

It is normal in Frankfurt, never wondered why exactly we are doing that.

[@jasperzanovich2504]

South NRW here, no, that's not a thing here either.

[@johannes-7710]

It's a fact that every German is from a small village outside of Stuttgart 😂

[@amandafitzwater242]

I fuckin lost it when he said the cameras were still rolling!!!! Omg I’m crying!!!

[@MsYolost]

Haha, can't wait to meet you. I'm also from a small village outside of Stuttgart

[@GG-yo2tg]

Ich auch

[@akiinefaexperiencinglife]

🤣🤣🤣

[@katharinasuess5972]

To be honest the rule thing is really a stereotype, because I literally don’t follow the rules, or maybe I’m not a German 😂

[@BeGlamourlicious]

You’re not German.

[@enelrahcreivaj]

So I couldn't work because of how funny this is?! And yes, "all lives matter." HAHAHA.

[@renadrexil2868]

He is back! Yuuus! More pleaaase!

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

More to come, including something i was too scared to share until now

[@wandilismus8726]

Damn. Thanks to you I will die laughing and I am Northern German, we don't laugh 😂😂😂

[@whutwhutwhut730]

Also Karneval, its a weekend in spring and the cities around me are just festivals (i live around cologne and düsseldorf) like... on thursday you start drinking at school, because nearly nobody cares and its the last day of school. On friday you wake up, you get dressed as a pirat or a fairy or whatever you want to (thats the point when you start drinking), you dont have any time left and because of that you just eat a toast. You take the bus or train, where you meet every person around your age and you all drive to downtown. In 2018 (i was 14) we were drinking a lot, heard music and smoked in the bus, so the bus is like a festival on its own. Than you have to walk for 5 hours straight (it feels like it, because you are drunk drunk). At this point its around 12 in the morning. You arrive downtown and there is police everywhere and its soooo crowdy (like in concertshalls). Everyone is drunk and dressed really silly, everywhere is music, your whole school and all of your friends an you party all day long. Repeat that on Saturday and Sunday

[@WhatWouldJohnSay93]

And on Monday of course!

[@whutwhutwhut730]

@@WhatWouldJohnSay93 never been there haha, when i was 14 i had to be picked up by paramedics on saturday at 1 pm and when i was 15 it was raining so so much, we just had 2 days and the second one was just shit, because we got to the location but the police shut it down because of some kind of a flood warning. Yeah and this year isnt a good year either:((

[@annaluciaschmitz]

True but I was 16 in 2018 haha 😂

[@Juli-zg7sj]

This!

[@chattrick93]

I'm German and I don't find this in Ordnung!!!!

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

LOL Sorry not sorry

[@SPLATS47]

He's like: I'm calling my RECHTSANWALT!

[@annaluciaschmitz]

Ok KAREN 😂

[@juliankandlhofer7553]

@@annaluciaschmitz OK GERTRUDE

[@stellathoma7900]

as a german girl, its really funny to see what they thonk of us, i love it

[@jesonne-ndendamolukau885]

Bei Gott das ist die Wahrheit, erst recht die Verabschiedung in Fahrstühlen 💀😂 keep on grindin sir 🙏🏾

[@fdoghan]

Regeln sind Regeln. Thank you for the great laugh! 🤣🤣

[@chloenightingale]

"entschuldigen sie" I'm dead. Still using the formal you. 😂😂😂

[@nasreenelias6791]

Loool im so glad i found this guy here! He's so funny!! 😂😂

[@Kochlonski]

im a german and i laughed my ass off xD this man is hilarious xD

[@risii2753]

Mega lustig 🤣👍🏻 Viel viel Wahres über Deutsche dabei 😋 Mach weiter so

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Dankeschön! Come to the live show! facebook.com/StoryPartyTour/events

[@martinapipan2759]

Hope you come to Slovenia again soon. During your last show in Ljubljana, I was laughing so hard I cried. It was great.

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Hope to return soon!

[@i2harry]

“So she can get turned on by my punctuality” 🤣🤣🤣

[@PingusWorls]

Loved every single minute. DAS WAR SEHR GUT!

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Why thank you. The live show in Germany is even more fun. :) -> bit.ly/StoryPartyTour

[@cheddersnevets4106]

Just discovered you. Bloody fantastic.

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Thanks for watching!

[@MsTugcee]

I work in a hospital in Germany which means that i am using an elevator quite often and yess we do say tschüss when we leave😂😂

[@Salvger1981]

Same for luxembourg. Well at least I'm like that too 😅

[@este7955]

sorry but the main reason for watching this is that it brings sense to my life cause I stop feeling at least for these 20 minutes that I achieved nothing when I understand both languages not being a native speaker to any of them but its also funny for sure

[@stefanebert7171]

'Kein Schweiß auf Holz!' Herrlich!

[@leonhard6512]

this was SO GOOD

[@AnVinhNguyen]

"So I showed up early, so she can be turned on by my punctuality" haha 12:19

[@stace3013]

You and Eleanor! My 2 fav comedians at the moment! I will walk with either one of you guys playing on KZbin looking like the joker just laughing to myself down the street getting from A-B

[@RachmanBlakeLive]

Thank you! Come to the live show! facebook.com/StoryPartyTour/events

[@stace3013]

@@RachmanBlakeLive I'd love to but I don't have FB 😓