First Time Hearing Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica | Suicide Survivor Reacts

#metallica #masterofpuppets #metallicareaction #firsttimehearing #reaction #shatterthestigma #mentalhealth #sanitarium
Right now I have a very special project in the works that I believe will change the mental health world. My Patreon pledges will be going toward that (and my ongoing projects) When you become a Patreon, you get priority song reactions, you get to participate in twice a month live streams, ask me questions, get personalized pictures and so much more. EVERY SINGLE DIME GOES TOWARD MY MENTAL HEALTH OUTREACH!!!!!
/ amandawebsterhealth
Coming back with some more Metallica! Welcome Home (Sanitarium) from the Master of Puppets album. Not that I know ALL Metallica songs. I'm keeping some up my sleeve for a rainy day. But I'm growing!
Follow me on IG: @mentalamanda
[e-mail]
Suicide Hotlines by Country: tinyurl.com/ft...
Recommended Playlist (VLOG: My Mental Health Journey)
tinyurl.com/Me...
Suggested Video: First Time Hearing Shame Shame by Foo Fighters
tinyurl.com/bm...

[@MentalAmanda]

💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here: amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/

[@jennifercardwell258]

I'm so happy you covered this song. I have been in mental health treatment for almost 3 decades. Sometimes, my mom and I were at the same hospital but separate units.

[@jamesdenson7616]

My Metal Goddess! Awesome cover, I agree with everything you said, People hate on us, Shit, and spit on us and don't care. Were still stereotyped as 'CRAZY" Not worth trying to help or fix. Unless we meet people that are going threw the same emotions and situations! Please Cover 'IN MY DARKEST HOUR" Megadeth! I'll bet 100 bucks you like it :)

[@johncecak6950]

I'm 50. My trauma happened at 10 years old. I never told anyone about it for 30 years. I've self medicated with alchohol and pot every day since I was 18

[@krammet]

Great choice! FUN FACT: I first heard this song when I was 12, while I was spending some time in a psychiatric ward. (yes, the padded quiet rooms...the whole bit) I was placed in there because my parents claimed I was "depressed". In all actuality, they just needed to "get away" from the kids. THAT is when I was slapped in the face by life and have never been the same. ==Even though that was one of the hardest times in my life, I absolutely LOVE this song!! If you're into Metallica, "My Friend of Misery" is another good/deep one.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@johncecak6950 I self medicated for a very long time as well. I feel much better when I was able to get away from it all. But I get it.

[@robertotostado2364]

One thing about metal, is that is the voice of a millions of teenagers who aren’t getting the attention they need. Strangely, when I started to listen to heavy metal, my very catholic father started to pay attention to me, because he was worried about my soul (lol). He gave me a book about metal and it’s dangers and it came with a list of bands to avoid 😀. Greatest list ever!!! Great bands!

[@MentalAmanda]

BWAHAHA!

[@americanthundergod9749]

My father was also catholic but he was the exact opposite. He encouraged me to cultivate my love for metal. Even if it wasn’t his cup of tea, he not only would get me new CDs of bands I’d never heard of but he’d listen to some of this music with me even if he didn’t like it or couldn’t understand it. He wanted to understand what it was I was hearing in this music without judgement and it was amazing. For instance when I first heard Creeping Death I had no clue it was about the book of exodus, specifically the Passover until my dad listened to it with me and asked me if I knew what that song was all about.

[@salongley]

I used to be a teacher and when a student asked me what music I liked and I replied “metal”. He said, “Ah the music of the social outcast”. At the time I was a bit insulted, however, I feel he was spot on and its now a badge of honour.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@salongley I am PROUD to be weird! Normal is cringy!

[@bighorn1994]

@@MentalAmanda Normal is a cycle on the washing machine!

[@d6678]

I grew up on bands like Metallica. Back in the 70's and 80's this kind of music was viewed as "satanic". This is the stupidity of people. The messages from many of these kinds of bands were actually quite introspective and sometimes positive.

[@CollideFan1]

Metal expanded my horizons when I was young. Iron Maiden's Rime of the Ancient Mariner got me into poetry and Coleridge is one of my favorite poets

[@larrybott9597]

I didn’t know your story, and for what it’s worth from a complete stranger, I’m glad you chose to pursue happiness in life instead of just ending it. You seem like a really cool and self aware person. Enjoyed the video.

[@juangil8284]

The earliest memory I have of being depressed was in kindergarten on the playground. I was swinging and all of a sudden I stopped and just felt this sadness come over me, I felt so alone, and no one would miss me if I was gone. That feeling still visits me. I taught myself how to recognize the precursors and prepare myself for that low. Normal childhood, no traumas, loving family, loving wife and kids, awesome friends...I have no idea what brings on this grey. Thanks for sharing your journey.

[@MentalAmanda]

That is crushing! I am very happy though that you have learned yourself and grown to accept that part of you. Sometimes there's no explanation and we just have to do the best we can. I was depressed from a very young age too.

[@thewildhealer541]

Are you me?

[@daveburx]

I can't say that depression has ever been a part of my life. I mean I've been down and unemployed but never an ongoing depression. In my adult life I have, a handful of times, experienced a very dark emotion. It came on fast, stayed for a moment, and then left. Every time the same way. I imagine like Jesus felt, on the cross when God wasn't present. I don't know where it comes from or why it's there but I'm just thankful that it leaves. If I had to live with that dark feeling I'm sure that I would end. My heart goes out to those who live with that darkness.

[@nassirmreyoud4415]

Spontaneous air-drums, air-guitars, and headbanging are an unavoidable part of the experience. No need to say "I'm not a drummer". I was first introduced to metal by a kid in earphones headbanging next to me on the school bus some 25 years ago. I tapped him on the shoulder and said "I would really love to know what the fuck your listing to that would cause you to move your head like that...". Dude said nothing, just gave me an earphone, and after a couple of minutes listening to Iron Maiden, I was hooked. That said, rock on, my girl...

[@8troll9]

Lol that earphone gotta be your precious memory haha

[@peterworth9403]

With your dad being a Vietnam vet, you should DEFINITELY take a listen to "Disposable Heroes." Same album as this one. This whole album is just...amazing. Every song hits a different chord, and it hits the chords hard.

[@DreadPirateRoberts121]

One is also a great track, both the video and the song is based off of a movie called Johnny got his gun. Very surreal

[@DragonFire666]

You know, I was just about to suggest BOTH Disposable Heroes AND Master of Puppets.

[@shogunshaggy6001]

Amazing album hands down. Only issue I've ever had with it is that is so bass low, which isn't the end of the world of course, but this was Cliff Burton's last album

[@mattcannon577]

My dad was also in Vietnam.

[@mikejohnson-dl7vt]

And "Too Many Puppies " by Primus 🙏😣

[@clintturk5220]

As an Iraqi/Afghan veteran I thank you. I have battled my demons since I was a child. The first time I attempted suicide I was six and attempted it numerous times during my youth. Songs like this is what got me through those dark and depressing days. Since I have used my demons to help me survive the madness we call life. It was only through combat that I realized my reason for failing so many times. I wasn't meant to end my life, I was meant to save the lives of others. Now my body is destroyed, I can barely walk and rarely ever leave my home but I'm a warrior, I can't seek my own end, I have to wait until my tour of duty is over and someone else sends me to the afterlife. Thank you so much for sharing your life with the rest of us. Stay strong. Also never forget that those of us that know we're crazy are the only ones who are truly sane.

[@MentalAmanda]

You are an incredibly inspirational warrior! Thank you for fighting for us and saving others. I realized I was meant to help others too, just in a different way. Very grateful you are here.

[@K1ng1995]

You, are a true hero.

[@billsmith11]

F@xx

[@danielbrooks6268]

That lyric “listen damnit, we will win” alone is what I love about this track. So simple yet so empowering!

[@nashwinder]

"They see it right, they see it well, but they think this saves us from our hell" is basically mental health care in a nutshell. At least at the time the song came out

[@cpt.charisma]

God bless you!!!!! Metallica's music saved my life when I was a teenager in the 90s. Never give up . ALWAYS BELIEVE!!!!!!!❤

[@scorpionking4012]

I hope you go next on “the unforgiven” trilogy, it’s about a person and how society effects is life.

[@a.t.3192]

All 3 are definitely great songs with beautiful lyrics. People don't give III enough love IMO.

[@pdegan2814]

@@a.t.3192 James' performance of Unforgiven III at S&M2 where he sang with just the orchestra was incredible.

[@TheAlja]

Just listen to the moment when James sings "Sanitarium". The guitar and drums transport so much anger. As a kid, finding this music was ... special. Today, you have people in the charts singing about their mental health issues. Billie Eillish and ... well tbh i have no idea whats in the charts these days. But it's more common. When i grew up it was hair metal, singing about girls, euro dance singing about nonsense, punk singing about beer and corruption and the parents music which was either Beatles love songs or Paul Simon at best who was singing about some sad stuff. But it was just that, sad. And then, at least for me, two things happened, one was Metallica and a while later, Nirvana. That changed everything, music that was about how i felt, that was sad but also angry and loud and fuck all. This was so important. I wouldn't have made it through puberty without them.

[@longbar185d2]

Metallica was the motivation though my youth and keeps me going today, 35 years later!

[@051570orion]

The energy in Metallica songs especially the first 4 albums are what I like to listen to when I get the time to work out

[@terrysites6264]

You're not crazy, you're actuality incredibly intelligent and gifted! Don't ever let others bring you down! I suffer from depression, agoraphobia, social anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and borderline personality disorder, so I can kinda relate to what you're going through. Sometimes we just gotta get rid of the toxic people and influences in our lives and do our best to carry on and make a better place for ourselves. Stay strong and have faith, you're not in this struggle alone Amanda! 🙏

[@adammccoy5166]

Damn. I love that! You simply said "I WILL be art of this movement. I WILL help people." And no matter what, you meant every word. Im on a similar mission, with my fellow veterans and mental health. You motivate the hell out of me! Keep up the good work

[@MentalAmanda]

Let me know if I can support you!

[@stevehunt6741]

Glad you got through your struggles. Mental health is NO JOKE!!!!! I haven't experienced it personally, but I've known people who've struggled. You're a BRAVE PERSON to react to these songs on such a personal level -- keep up the good fight 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

[@Belfastchild1974]

I have probably listened to this song thousands of times since it was released in 1986. Always thought it was linked to the song Master of Puppets in a way, where that is from the perspective of the drug and this from the user. But your view opened a bit of a new perspective. Will probably have to give it a couple more listens now.

[@lordofrims]

It is linked to "one who flew over the cuckoo's nest"

[@joejaenisch5839]

I got to the part where, if you didn’t like me or want to be with me… I don’t need you. If you truly care for someone, it shouldn’t matter for anything. Love that person and be there for them. They need you

[@MentalAmanda]

I love and am there for people, even my exes. That doesn't mean that I have to stay in a relationship (or friendship) with someone when it's toxic for both of us.

[@martinwhite3559]

Yes, you can be depressed and anxious about your depression and anxiety. Once you accept it, the healing can start but people will still judge you. This song is on the album Master of Puppets. The song Master of Puppets is about drug addiction and the song Disposable Heros is about war. They are all on the same album. It is often considered the greatest metal album of all time.

[@Huddle_House56]

Mental health. This band and those words go hand in hand. You would really enjoy some of the lyrical content on the load and reload albums. But I would say, since you noticed the helmet and dog tags, and mentioned your father and the plight of our soldiers, your next move should be Disposable Heroes. An 8 minute epic about the evil of war and the scars it leaves on those who have to (and are sometimes forced to) fight in it.

[@adamgardner2244]

Also Confusion from their last album. Takes about ptsd from war. Great song

[@BlackieNuff]

Everything Hugh said about Disposable Heroes goes multiple for me!! I prefer listening Disposable Heroes followed by Master Of Puppets... seems like a good "encapsulating" order for all the corruption and manipulations out there plaguing us. And the album cover seems to have combined those concepts as well, lol.

[@vanitazazas]

James hetfiled is a really strong lyricist, his metaphores are so powerful as his emotions are. Metallica has helped me through some stuff too

[@michaelriddick7116]

Their song "One" is maybe the greatest anti-war song ever :)

[@pdegan2814]

@@adamgardner2244 The video for Confusion is amazing. Simple in production value, but the way it illustrates what the main character is going through was just beautifully done. It really paints a picture of what many veterans go through when they come home.

[@joejaenisch5839]

I too am a vet. Thank your dad for he’s service and sacrifice.

[@kevinlee92265]

Ok Amanda, I literally just skipped this song whilst playing the whole Master of Puppets album for fun just literally minutes ago! I watched your 'Tout Le Monde' video a couple of days ago and here you are now on my recommendations page! I now am now a subscriber to your page. The "tout" vid brought tears to my eyes. You're amazing!!! Never stop doing what your doing for mental heath. People like you are champions of society. Thank you

[@kevinlee92265]

*Playing guitar btw, which, when I do play, that particular moment is when my mental health is at it's healthiest and happiest

[@kevinlee92265]

I skipped Sanitarium because it was too slow for my mood at the moment 🙃

[@martinkuliza]

it's "A TOUT LE MONDE" The A is important

[@kevinlee92265]

​ @Martin Kuliza wow SERIOUSLY? Guess what? I don't care. All you care about is correcting my grammar while completely missing the point of my msg to Amanda? Unreal

[@martinkuliza]

@@kevinlee92265 maybe you completely missed the point of what i was trying to say No i didn't miss the point of what you were saying to her but back at you "wow.. seriously ?" such a huge fucking over reaction for a simple correction I'm sorry princess i mean it's not like i said to you "you fucking useless cunt get the spelling right" and then you replied by saying "martin don't be the fucking spelling police" i simply just pointed out in the simplest way possible that you missed the A and .... the A is actually important mate, it'd be like if i wrote Aster of Puppets and then someone pulls me up for the M and have a go at them so yeah... SERIOUSLY Because 1. i did pay attention to what you said to her 2. The song does deserve the respect of being quoted correctly (and any self respecting fan should know that ESPECIALLY THAT PARTICULAR SONG, it's not like you were quoting Tornado of souls and just said "TORNADO" 3. it wasn't ALL i was thinking about it, You're just fucking over reacting 4. it was just a fucking simple correction, what the fuck is wrong with you so.. WOW back at ya

[@RafaleC77th]

Your story of overcoming your depression is Proof positive that perseverance gets you desired results. Always keep on Keepin on. \m/

[@shure81]

"Fear of living on!" Those words and that melody...I dunno, something about it hits hard ever since I was a kid. Keep up the great content!

[@leovhs1]

Listen, damn it, we will win! 💪🏻

[@alanbrown7412]

Oh wow. I can't believe a medical professional actually said that to you Amanda. You are right ...if people tell you something about yourself often enough you will start to believe it. The negative tongue has a lot to answer for. You are awesome Amanda...it makes me feel warm...when I see you smile after all you've been through. A testament to positivity and believing in yourself . As far music is concerned...I'm a complete rock and metalhead...and Metallica are one of my favourite bands. Metal certainly pulled me through some dark times when my wife left me ..even though I thought everything was fine. I blamed myself ...confidence at a low ebb...even though it wasn't me who finished our marriage. I'm now divorced ...but all is well .. Keep everything going Amanda. You are a beacon shining love all around. Take care. Peace and love from Liverpool UK 👍✌️🤘❤️

[@a.s.vieira7846]

The music and the lyrics like this one by Metallica help me to get through when I was a teenager, angry and lonely, restless and afraid. It was almost 40 years ago. It's nice to see someone discovering the power of this stuff and how metal are not what "normal" people say. I think James Hetfield helped more people around the world telling his feeling in his own words about pain and grief than any psychiatrist with drugs.

[@Sibian_Wolf]

I saw maybe 10 of your clips, but this is the first one you didn`t start to cry. Your smile in this is georgious and addictive, made me smile too. "Sanitarium" finaly gives you good vibes :)

[@MentalAmanda]

I promise I have lots of happy reactions too! A few include Be the Best by Tenacious D, Last Hope by Paramore and Rise Up by Morissette 😊

[@Sibian_Wolf]

@@MentalAmanda I will watch them.

[@kylemiller4091]

Been my favorite Metallica song since my high school days in the 80s. I wasn't normal then, not normal now. Don't let anyone make you be normal. Normal and healthy do not have much in common.

[@MentalAmanda]

Best quote EVER right there!

[@kylemiller4091]

You are gonna be okay. You might already be okay. Being okay and being happy are not the same thing, either. Being happy all the time i s not a normal condition. Sadness is normal sometimes. Despair is normal sometimes. Laughing your ass off is normal sometimes. This is the human condition. Learning to deal, day to day, is the little victory that allows us to survive and thrive. Not an easy road, mostly. But the rewards are pretty sweet, if you can get there. You have randonly made my world nicer to be in.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@kylemiller4091 It drives me NUTS when people see you emote and assume you aren't happy. I am a happy person (meaning my base, neutral emotion is now on the happier side of the spectrum) but I do have feelings. I cry and laugh and yell just like every other person! I am humbled to have improved your world in some way. You made me smile, so you made my day better too!

[@hughjanus9557]

One of my really good childhood friends and I would listen to this song as we drove around and hung out. He sadly passed away when a pack of coyotes got him when his car ran out of gas and had to walk. It hurts to listen to so I am going through this emotional roller coster with you on this one.

[@MentalAmanda]

Keep his memory alive and share his love with the world!

[@Vagari1]

I always love how they weave melody together that catches the feeling of emotion. In the tone they use it brings it down to a very personal level. Hard and soft tones then going to an angry fast harsh tone. They web around real human emotions with tone that is second to none

[@scwebb]

Another great reaction, loving your insights on all of these songs. If you want more Metallica I would recommend The Unforgiven (the first one - it has sequels!), a song exploring an individual’s struggle against the expectations of others. It has a powerful music video too, though I’d recommend the shorter version as the theatrical video has a lengthy interlude right after the intro.

[@paolodelaluz1190]

You are a true warrior I am so sunlighted by you thank you

[@מיכאלסנדקובסקי-ש8ש]

I think you need to listen to the song 'snuff' by Corey Taylor (the acoustic version). Such a powerful song, and you can hear the amotions through his voice. The song itself is not about something very mentally but after one of his friends died, he sings the song for him.

[@micah3311]

I love how happy and exiting your reactions to the song are.

[@Bad1Bear812]

Your brave for being public on your emotions, mad respect for you. Appreciate your ability to come forward on your mental health. Your an inspiration thank you for sharing to help others.

[@fredhill6962]

Every one loves you stand tall

[@fredhill6962]

America loves you and thank you for supporting the vets you will get over this we will to .

[@marinkingston]

Harvest by Opeth is also a great one to react to! It hits home for me personally

[@DomTheDragonSlayer]

Great review and thx for sharing !!! 🤟🤟🤟

[@LittleBombbuilder]

Not a single human is "normal" . Everyone carries his/her own package . Some have fears , some are hypersensitive/hypersensible , some have traumata ... some have 2 or all three of them . Individuals don't have to like eachother , so a single person can say " i can't deal with the way you are " , but the society has to embrace everyone. A society can't lock somebody up , just because she/he has fears or traumata . Society has to offer help , but it also has to leave its people in freedom when they can't stay in hospital because they would feel "locked up" . I have friends with "mental disorders" and i love every single one of them . If you know them and their problems , treat them as they need , they are the most beautyful and interesting ones ❤

[@DavidC-ru4it]

Combat veteran here... I have struggled with repetitive nightmares going on 15 years. I'm not a doctor/psychologist but very recently (3 weeks ago) my new psychologist at VA informed of a new treatment discovered accidentally during a an unrelated study that a certain blood pressure drug (clonodine)side-effects was the almost elimination of nightmares in conjunction with Ambien. I take Clonodine 30 minutes prior to Ambien and the results have been nothing short of astonishing. I don't fear sleep, and I'm no longer tormented by nightmares. I'm finally in a place I can consider see a future free of Ambien and nightmares. Again not a doctor, but I'm grateful for this treatment.

[@chipbagley4744]

Thank you for your service, much love!!!!

[@andrewbraun-bq4ki]

@MentalAmanda I know I’m late to the party, but I just wanted to thank you for these videos. While not being diagnosed with any mental disorders despite being a USMC vet and former fire fighter, I believe your videos are really helping those who do. Your raw emotion and honesty when reacting to these videos, in particular Fade To Black, let people know it’s ok to not be ok and it’s also ok to seek help, whether it be from a professional or a friend. Continued success in helping to shatter the stigma associated with mental illness.

[@jeremyharrell1803]

You are beautiful and seem intelligent, charismatic, and positive. I feel bad for you for what ever happened to you to put you in that position. Keep pushing forward for mental positivity, and keep your reactions coming. You inspire me to look at people with true mental illness as a true sickness and not an excuse. Thank You

[@jonaslindberg5482]

Just wanted to pop in here and say that I think you are really brave talking about this important matters so openly. You and your "mission" are so important these days. The world needs more Amanda's. I will keep following you and your channels for sure. Take care and keep shining Hugs from Sweden 💖

[@jonaslindberg5482]

Yes you could and should definitely 🖕🖕to that horrible person. So sorry to hear about everything you've been going through. Love to hear about your progress though. It gave me goosebumps. You are a Rockstar 🤟😎🤟

[@dathorndike4908]

I spent 8 years in prison. When I got out in December 2015 I started having nightmares about being back in prison. Now it is 8 years later and I STILL have those nightmares maybe once a month. trauma can last a LONG time.

[@Thedesertguy75]

Sanitarium is the ultimate mental health/rehab/hospital song. Its perfect. Just perfectly worded. "They think our heads are in their hands." What a powerful line.....it describes every rehab ive ever been to. Its a money making machine with very low success rates.

[@andyburwick1534]

I never add public comments, but after hearing you speak of your victory over depression and your uplifting advice to others that need to hear such things to give them the keys and tools to help in their fight...after listening to you I felt an inspiration I seldom experience. I wasn't feeling the least bit down before I watched your video but afterwards I felt renewed and my spirit refreshed. You are a great warrior. You're awesome. God bless you.

[@quecksilber457]

Still my favorite song of my favorite band. It was my "theme" song whilst i was in such a place for three months because of depressions, an internet/gaming addiction and a light narcissistic personality (not the real disorder, i was on that path but never crossed that line). Listened to it every day, helped me a lot. :) They know so much nowadays. I was shocked how much they knew about me, without me telling them anything in the beginning. Great docs here in Germany.

[@shaunmorris8176]

Hi from Adelaide Australia, you are so wize above your age. Metallica has helped me.

[@Mebucko]

You are not just absolutely gorgeous, you have such a sweet soul. Don't listen to poeple telling you that you are different. I just think that you don't forget about the bad things so quickly like most of us do. Maybe the ones diagnosing you are the crazy ones, ever think about that? We all forget about wars and the terrible things that happened, but the only way to fix things is to remember. Hell we don't even remember wwI and barely WWII. Listen to Metallica "One." Puts thing into perspective. Don't know you, but love you soo much!

[@Dr.Claw_M.A.D.]

Bedlam was a real place. Royal Bethlehem Hospital in London England. Now a tube station. Closed in the 1800's.

[@paolodelaluz1190]

I Love and appreciate your comments and knowledge about you I am happy to have seen your reaction you are amazing

[@lang11239]

This will make you cry. No question. Stay strong, lovely friend. ❤;)

[@kevinbennett2239]

Glad you are still here

[@holywisdom1]

Damn you inspire me...keep on fighting, hail from belgium and suicide survivor 👏

[@brallin94]

I just found you through some other reaction channels starting with your Falling in Reverse and Megadeth videos. Metallica is one of my favorite bands. This song was the first song I performed with my brother when we were learning our respective instruments (me on drums, him on guitar.) They were my gateway into metal music when I was very young and have helped me through a lot of dark times in my life. Your words are very inspirational. I’ve been dealing with a lot of depression and was suicidal a few years ago and hearing some of what you went through and seeing you here in a better place gives me more hope and motivation to get better. I’m glad you’re still with us and making these videos and working to end the mental health stigma. Thank you 💜

[@brallin94]

Also, Lucifer is an amazing show! 😈😜

[@bdr113080]

Hey Amanda! I’m just a Metallica fan and have just been playing Metallica videos on KZbin today and I just ran across this video. I just want to say that I’m glad you are here with us today and I am glad you are in a better place. Mental health is a battle and I have been in that same fight for 25 years now. I’m doing the best I have ever done but I still have a long way to go. No matter what happens just remember that we can’t control the things that happened to us sometimes but we can always control how we react to it. I learned that staying positive and being positive and just being a better person to people helps a lot. When we put out negative energy like arguing with people online about politics or just being rude to people and that’s the energy the universe will give it back. I realize that when I help other people and I do things selflessly that it makes me feel better and no matter what problems come my way I know it might be tough but I will be OK and I will make it. I try to look for the good in every situation even if it’s a bad one. If it’s bad I just look at it as a learning experience and I smile because I know I will come out on the other end OK and life will continue. Again I’m so happy and so glad you are here with us today. I hope you have a good positive people around you because you seem like a good person and just never give up. Great video by the way keep up the great work.

[@TeaSea-]

Thank you 💕 Amanda all the way from Ireland

[@henriksjoblom]

Amanda. Your felings are right on. Been there as a 32yr male. This song has been with me for 10 years

[@henriksjoblom]

Tomorrow, Tom Macdonald.

[@henriksjoblom]

2 new albums.

[@SeriochkaInWI]

I honestly thought I posted this to the video yesterday, but apparently...I'm getting on in years! It took me a while to watch this one because it was more personal to me. This was the song, the FIRST Metallica song, that I ever heard. What makes this ironic for me is that I was in, what can best be described as a Juvenile treatment center, when this occurred! So much going on back then, and you end up in a place with as much bleakness as you can imagine, with tons of people going though very different things. It was a random day, in the "music room" where patients could go and listen to whatever they wanted and one of the other folks there had the Master of Puppets album. This was the song playing.... I immediately stopped, drawn and captivated to the lyrics and melodies. The person I was with, young.. long hair, and every stereotype of a Metal-Stoner teenager you can think of, his appearance embodied that narrative. Once we kept listening and later talking about that song, you quickly learned that every person.... regardless of appearance, confronts his or her mental health and overall essence as a person in different ways. As such, there will never, EVER...just be one method to "be healthy" in life. This has been a struggle for many decades, and it's not over yet. Still don't know how much more is appropriate to share, but outlets like this... I hope everyone comes across in their journey. As always.... I see you!!! Steve ...ps: Since you've done commentary on a number of Metallica songs, I share this one as a bridge between its predecessor from the Black Album, and its connection to this original Classic. I hope you enjoy it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jHWXgYyGbLyIeaM

[@johnewers7900]

There are still doctors preforming electro shock therapy, and when at my whits end, i was will to try anything. I dont know if it helped, but i don't remember something from that time. I know it wasn't untill I found a doctor that actually listened to me and worked with me to find the right meds and therapy that my life was able to turn around. Thank you for keeping the mental illness awareness in active conversations

[@darchon5]

Another lovely, heartfelt reaction, thanks again for reacting to Metallica (my fave musical artist) and as always for doing what you do to lessen mental health stigma.

[@sonofthesea3298]

Oooooh snap,the stunning Amanda doing one of my favourite songs that i even suggested on your first reaction. I absolutely love the instrumentals in this song! I think i would have loved this as much as i love Orion by them,if Welcome Home (Sanitarium) was purely instrumental like Orion is too. But the lyrics does add to this song,for sure. 😍🔥💞

[@dathorndike4908]

I have been hospitalized three times in my life. It can be very traumatizing just being stuck in a mental hospital and not knowing when you will be able to leave.

[@FFVison]

Probably already shared in the comments somewhere, but this song was actually inspired by One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. This is a story that does take place in a mental institution in the 1960s.

[@bissekerskij]

I'm crying and I don't even know why. Came here just after your reaction to Fade to Black, and I can't tell how I've got to see these videos, but I'm thankful that I'm here. I'm not in a place to hurt myself, but I realized couple of weeks ago, that me and my inner child just waiting for all of this to end. I can't see any purpose to keep going, I have my responsibilities, family etc, but nothing really motivates me to live. Just some stuff I *have* to do. There's nothing in this life I can say I want it. Its just the pain and nothing more. Some kind of acting as a person I'm not and have no hope to become. This sounds and feels heavy, but its true and it didn't fade away once I realized it and said it out loud. It started to fade away when I kind of allowed myself to cry and to accept how I really feel. And that started with a bunch of people accepting me as I am. What they did or at least made me feel like was they just were there for me. Together in this dark room and feeling the pain like I did, telling me I'm not a junk or crazy, that it's OK to no be OK and they are here to help me. Life is still scary and those people are not around all the time, but now I know that I can ask for help and I'll get it. I need ask the right person though, but that's different discussion. THANK YOU for making me crying and for the beautiful message you're spreading. You remind me that, despite it is dark both inside and outside, this can change and that I can do it. It is hard and I'm afraid of the journey, but I am ready for every baby step I need to take to finally be able to say that I'm happy and truly believe it with all my spirit. I think I never felt like this, but I want it so bad. THANK YOU once more. By the way, you know what's even worse then hearing that "you'll never be happy"? It's when you finally are brave enough to being vulnerable and tell someone how you feel and how it is really bad, and they say "oh cmon, you're fine, look how happy you are!" completely ignoring and denying the way you really feel. That's pain by itself, plus (at least for me) it creates the conflict and the guilt that I'm even worse because I feel bad, when I really don't have any reason to. I went too far I think :) I just wanted to say THANK YOU Amanda for what you're doing. I am glad that you did it and I am sure the amount of people you will help to overcome their difficulties is huge.

[@MentalAmanda]

I love that you specified that it didn't start to fade until you allowed yourself to accept how you felt. We put SO much pressure on people to hide emotions and to feel a certain way and have things "all figured out." I think the biggest secret to life is realizing that NOBODY has it figured out! We just make it up as we go along. Life is scary sometimes for everyone, but you're right, there are ALWAYS people to reach out to. If people say things like what you described and you can't explain to them why that's not okay, drop em like a bad habit. Because they are! You absolutely CAN do it. I believe in you!

[@bissekerskij]

​@@MentalAmanda I forgot this comment I made and what a pleasant surprise to get a reply. Thanks! Yeah, I think I can connect the dots mindfully but it is sometimes hard to do when emotions take over. But I'm learning and despite my doubts I kinda believe in myself as well, so I hope I'll be fine. Those "people" are my parents, tricky to drop, although at the moment its they who dropped me out of the family, because they could not take my emotions, didn't know how to react, how to deal with their emotions etc, so they just decided to kinda cut me off. Its been 2 years since they've done it and this is impossible to get used to. It's a good thing in a way, cause it triggered lots of stuff that would've stayed hidden otherwise, but it is hard. Anyway, I again went too far, it was my farther's BDay yesterday, so it is all fresh again. But as I said, I'll be fine :) thank you for your time and kind words. These are not just words, I feel your support and I really can't thank you enough

[@MentalAmanda]

@@bissekerskij Parents are definitely one of the worst relationships to have this happen with. At the end of the day, just remember that it is THEIR inability to know how to support you not YOUR need for support that is causing the rift. We all need support. I hope one day they gain the skills to make things right.

[@jeffreycraig4493]

I'm glad you're here to share these reactions with us, and that you were able to prove them wrong by finding happiness

[@brianhays1797]

With my severe depression, nothing pissed me off more that “Why don’t you just snap out it.” Really? Yeah l love being this way.

[@MentalAmanda]

Sometimes people mean well, but they can do the opposite.

[@johncecak6950]

When you said it feels you're living the same day over and over, that hit home

[@wiljones3185]

I'm also a Suicide survivor and I've been in and out of Mental Institutions since I was 9. In 2007 I was finally diagnosed Paranoid schizophrenic and the last institution I was in was 2014. I'm on Zyprexa now and I've been symptom free since 2016 but it's always a struggle but I won't stop taking my medication no matter how it makes me feel because I'm never going back to that Hell I was in again. I really admire you and even though we don't personally know each other I consider you a sister in troma and in faith because God put you hear for a purpose and you're doing God's work. Lots of Love to you sister 🙏

[@martinsanchez4493]

Music transcends, get you... what is normal? Do you do what makes you happy. Like you

[@glenns7252]

Metallica in ride the lightning, master of puppets, "and justice for all" albums themes are about being controlled and the struggle, they address topics such as the death penalty, drugs, war, and in this case mental health, sanatorium is loosely based off the movie "one flew over the cookoos nest" movie, but also drawing from the album brick on the wall.

[@johnshultz6804]

Just wanna say thank you.

[@harliiquinnstarlight]

Love this song. It's on one of my Playlist

[@DavidMcCurley-ez3ek]

I used to be suicidal myself and not anymore the last time was yrs ago in my teens my dad stoped me from puting a nife to my throat. I got hep I am schizophrenic with homicidal and suicidal tendencies. I been dealing with it for so long I just learned to deal with it. I payed it forward some yrs later I saved brother trying to overdose and took action if I won't let myself give up I won't let my fam either. When u said the voices in ur head or split personality u said she won't take control of u. The same for me I only named one voice and he is the worst side of me his name is mad dog. In my mind he can be ruthless but I keep reminding myself I am in control not him. So now I try to empower people to live with the power of positivity sry new day had to u r part of my inspiration. Girl keep fighting I got ur back not the only one keep ur head up friends

[@MentalAmanda]

I am proud of you. It's not always easy and Mad Dog will fight back and will need time in the spotlight just like my Shadow, but we can let them have that in constructive ways. It's a big part of why I chose to study Forensic Psychology. It makes her happy while not letting her take control! I've got your back too!

[@joachimandersson6688]

A real wholesome song is "come on home" by Freedom Call. Its an anthem song that really brings a homy feeling to the metal community! love your content and your a star! Greetings from Sweden!

[@shovelheadseven]

There are no rules you need to adhere to as long as your not infringing on someone else's peace of mind or hurting someone else. Don't concern yourself with the judgement others put upon you they have no right to judge you and that in itself is not normal. Be glad others think you are so called crazy. The so called normal person has been unable to resist the programming and you want nothing at all to be considered accepted by them. Your life is what you make it and the universe conspires for your success. Every human has the same goal and that is to be happy. Any thing short of that creates all the terrible things that people do. The person who told you that happiness is not possible is the perfect example of an out of touch, uninformed, unqualified individual who has failed to understand the goal of every human. This is why you should trust in yourself and understand you have everything already inside of you that you need. You are living proof of this and now have this power.

[@royrocker9004]

Metallica Enter Sandman live 1991 Moscow. Estimated 1.6 Million people. This was shortly after the fall of USSR. Russia was finally free and this was the first Rock concert they could see from a western band. Prior to this all they had was bootleg music. The crowd was amazing.

[@ericlikovic5624]

Another song that helped me through depression. I love to listen to this song cause my sanity... and I felt like something in me was being like really really really angry. So much angry that I hated my best friends. But now all good. Love in Welcome home sanitarium especially 89 Seattle version.

[@Metalingots]

I had, and still have to argue with my wife since I came back from Afghanistan over what I'm feeling, and what I need to do. I was in over 50 contact with the Taliban, broke a pieces off my neck C-7 spinious process, and compressed C-5,C-6,and C-7 while over there, and toughed it out. About 6 years later I was having all kinds of issues. Not one of the many doctor's thought to check my neck when I told them my head was going numb. Left arm down to the finger tips was numb. They all said it was PTSD which I was already diagnosed with. Everyone made me feel like was one of those people that always was going to complain, about this, or that. In the beginning of 2020 a doctor finally said well let's take an x-ray of your neck so we could rule it out. X-ray came back, and they highlighted broke spinious process now wrapped it scar tissue, and severe compression. I finally had proof I wasn't making thing's up. I told my family I know my body better than anyone of you. Don't ever humiliate me again by agreeing with all those misdiagnosis. I now have a plate in my neck. The doctor asked me how was I climbing mountains with 60+ pounds of gear. I told him so I didn't have to my fellow soldier's, and I have a high pain tolerance. In a wrestling match I had a compound fracture to my left arm from an illegal throw. I just laid there, and waited till the ambulance came. My coach told me not to look at it. I asked if my season was over, and he said don't worry about that right now. I decide to look for myself, and seen a bone sticking out of my forearm along with some blood. I looked back at him, and said I think my season is over. The coaches, and ref started laughing. Another one of our wrestlers had a seperated shoulder, and I was told he was crying. He was older than me. The coach told him to look over at me. Then told him to stop crying. I figured I would give a little not so funny story, along with a funny on to lighten my topic up. Although I still have dreams of always fighting someone almost every night. I wake up in the morning, and try to make the best out of the day. It's a battle within myself, and my wife telling me to get over it. That's what hurts the most.

[@MentalAmanda]

It breaks my heart when people tell others to suck it up or get over it whether the coach to the other boy or your wife. You feel what you need to feel and screw everyone else. There are plenty of people who understand and will validate you. Thank you for your sacrifice and I hope you can connect with people who will help you trek through the hard stuff.

[@Josh-wx8jj]

Five Finger Deathpunch, Gone Away, Wrong Side of Heaven, and Darkness Settles In.

[@treysalazar7791]

Another great reaction, Amanda. Another great Metallica song to check out is Blessing Me. Another one by them would be the song Confusion. It deals with veterans dealing with PTSD. The best thing to do is watch the official video. Very powerful to say the least. One last recommendation is a from a Band called Arch Enemy. Their a metal band from Sweden. They're a heavy group but do a great softer song call Reason To Believe. Best way to do with that is either the official video which you can turn on the subtitles for the lyrics, or go with a lyric. Words should always be front and center with these songs. Looking forward to more of your reactions. Stay well, be safe

[@AleFerrari81]

Very good reaction😍 And I'm thankfully for helping me to see what I struggle with and what I fell in a different point of view through this video❤ you are great! I'm wating for another Metallica's songs like The Unforgiven or other very deep songs like Mama Said or The god that failed... Please🙏🙏🙏

[@martinsanchez4493]

Love what you're doing, music 🎶 speaks were words fail 🤘💓

[@harryhastings9659]

I believe some people going thru mental problems, if they could have a supporter just to listen to them , have a shoulder to cry on, and support them when they face their problems and just be there for them, not someone to tell them what is wrong with them or how to fix them selves, just listen and support

[@davidpinnix7339]

At 13 I spent 10 months in a psychiatric hospital dealing with issues from my adoption. I first became aware of Metallica and heavy metal music while there. It was heavy metal that helped me deal with the issues. Welcome Home Sanitarium was our theme song while locked away. I love your outlook of the song

[@matthewread1545]

How the f*ck do they come up with these amazing lyrics and music? Especially at such a young age…extraordinary.

[@mattmarkowitz8894]

I've heard this song probably about a thousand times but I really like your breakdown and personal input. Sorry I sometimes get a bit "in the moment" when I comment here, kinda hard to avoid. As you mentioned sometimes it's others' negativity than can be the motivator. In and out, over and over with the 12 step program (NA to be specific) people would talk to each other "Don't get close to Matt, he's gonna die." or even worst "He's not worth your time". I needed to show them...after time it became evident that life is worth keeping without getting high (life can easily end if heroin was still part of it). I know this channel is about mental health but seriously, I think it's important to conquer one thing at a time. I still have unhealthy amounts of skepticism and mistrust but without other roadblock those things are getting slowly manageable. It's good enough.

[@bruhnorton8306]

After I watched fade to Black I knew this video was also here somewhere I'm happy you got to experience and feel Metallica

[@williamreed38]

You are awesome, not just because you are cute. LOL. The mechanism for a long time discourages real free expression (social stigma's and such). I think your channel on youtube, allows you to put your feelings out there - which is critical to your healing. It does open yourself to trolls - and I hope they aren't so shallow to pick on you. But you make this life better by you being in it, and your channel is the icing on the cake as they say because you speak honestly, which just by that encourages others to have a voice (strength in numbers) and get the solace or help that they need. I wish you fantastic success and the peace you deserve.

[@CONSOLETRUTH2]

They keep me locked up in this cage can't they see its why my brain says RAAAAAAGGGGGEEEEE!!

[@victorkim4461]

Gulf War 1 and Bosnia and Herzegovina from Virginia and lived year in Vancouver, British Columbia has Autism with ADD and Aspberger Syndrome as child when was born in Yonkers,NY and went into military active duty from 1989 till 1993 and 1993 till 1997 reserves in Pennsylvania.

[@thomaslazarek6835]

Another great reaction Amanda. Keep fighting the good fight. Worrying about anxiety gives me more anxiety. Several people mentioned One by Metallica. The song is inspired by the book and movie Johnny Got His Gun. The music video has scenes and dialogue from the movie in it. Another Metallica song to check out is Confusion, it's about PTSD. Both are great songs but the music videos are so powerful. A song I find inspiring and is one of my keep fighting songs is Black Vultures by Halestorm. Keep up the great work. Still love the pink cat ear headphones.

[@brettsmith7668]

I wanna start by telling you that I work in a mental hospital I also struggle with mental illness I believe it gives me a better understanding of the help I can give to my clients. My mental illness is a struggle but I found that music helps me through a lot Metallica is the band the I found when I was young that could pull me from some dark places I'm 50 now and I still listen to the music of many bands they help get me through. I like your channel a lot keep helping people. Sorry about the bad writing its not my strong skill.

[@MentalAmanda]

Your writing is just fine :) I think that's amazing. It's hard (as a patient) to listen to people who you know have never struggled give you advice based on some book.

[@slaw38]

What a beautiful, strong young woman you are. Not just on the outside but more so on the inside. Its amazing to see how you have overcome your.... struggle within.

[@JJ-metalhead]

Hello everyone. Glad to hear metal music is not dead but yet alive and well. I've never shared this with the world so here goes. I am a combat veteran of the United States Marine Corps. It's been years since I last spent time overseas in the hospital for extensive life threatening injuries. I was labeled with ptsd along with survivors guilt. Felt totally useless with no hope after battling homeless. I've since gotten my life after becoming clean and sober but I still battle my inner demons when it comes to ptsd. I hope one day I will be at peace. There is a song by metal band by the name of Suicidal Tendencies You can't bring me down. It's a song that holds meaning to me while I was recovering. It definitely has a lot of truth through it lyrically. Brace yourself and stand strong through the storm is what I tell people.

[@MentalAmanda]

You have no idea how proud of you I am. I know overcoming all of that isn't easy. Just remember that superheroes also have tragic backstories. Thank you for your sacrifice and your support here. You'll find peace in time. Keep fighting.

[@jackmark5532]

HUGS! GRACIAS!

[@glaight6362]

You also said something else which is so profound and at the root of so much dis-ease, you said "I love me"!!!!!! I am so happy for you and to hear you say that. We are all on a spiritual journey (religion aside) and yours is beautiful to see 😁

[@edgeofsanity9111]

I agree that most mental problems are probably mostly caused by the way society is today. We (society) created it on our own