First Time Hearing You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell | Suicide Survivor Reacts

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A kindness train broke out in one of my Friday live streams and Aaron Butler pledged for this for Aviation Fan, who was having a bad day and had requested this reaction from me. It was beautiful! This is my reaction to my first time hearing You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell. Such a beautiful tune about grief.
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Recommended Playlist (VLOG: My Mental Health Journey)
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Recommended Video (First Time Hearing Elastic Heart by Sia | Suicide Survivor Reacts)
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[@MentalAmanda]

I am so grateful to have this video sponsored by BetterHelp. To receive 10% off your first month of customized online therapy with a license counselor, visit www.betterhelp.com/amandawebster 💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we break the mental health stigma. 💖

[@jaybraddock2350]

I want to thank you for talking about mental health issues and depression things that a lot of people do not want to talk about or discuss. Because so many of us suffer from these illnesses. Thank you so much. God bless you and your family. Please don't ever change your amazing.

[@kerrimelson]

I contacted Better Help over a week ago. Still no response.

[@MentalAmanda]

@@kerrimelson Really?! Email me your information (in video description) and I will personally follow up. That is unacceptable!!!!!

[@beckyconner3632]

Shatters my heart to see the date of the video of him telling his dad he signed with Warner and the date of his Dad’s death on his headstone. His dad died 51 days after Cole made it big.

[@richardplunkett2550]

If I remember correctly this was actually the first time he had been to his dad's grave. Such a beautiful song and reaction

[@SilentXFoxX71]

True

[@johnbarton1690]

Yes his dad passed right before he signed his first contract in the music industry and the video is the first time he returned to the cemetery

[@ccaro31]

I have sung this song a lot. Lately it's been in memory of my father who we lost in 2019. 26 year veteran of the USAF and now he's buried at Arlington. This song reminds me of him. He should be here.

[@Jzemire]

I can't watch this song without crying. I lost my mother to cancer recently, I love and miss her so much. I graduate from college in a year and wish she could be there.

[@brandipalmer2526]

This song gets me. I've lost my mom and my grandma who both raised me, my baby and my husband's uncle and grandpa. I wish they could be here

[@deanspomer2520]

I love this song. It reminds me of my grandma. She always told me that she would be at my wedding and then she ended up in a long term care facility and there was no way that she was going to make it. She passed away 3 months before my wedding. She managed to make my wedding she loved owls and the whole time there was an owl sitting in a tree right next to where my wife and I were standing

[@BLIND82]

Hi, I've just come across your channel and love what you do. Congratulations on your 4 year recovery. I also had many years addicted to opiate pain killers and 11 years alcohol. Thankfully I've been 6 years sober of both. I just wanted to let you know about an artist called NF. I discovered him 4 years ago and I still listen to him now. He's a rapper, lyricist, story teller and singer and he embolishes mental health due to abuse and abandoment in his childhood. His songs are deep but meaningful and beautiful. He has a plethora of songs and albums. 2 songs that would be great to introduce you would be paralysed and I hate myself. Well done again.

[@MentalAmanda]

Congratulations on 6 years. A very big achievement. I have already done one NF reaction. Here you go. kzbin.info/www/bejne/jnytl4ZretpmbKs

[@Bawbag0110]

My cousin just had this song at her wedding as we lost our nana and grandad within the last few years

[@kerrimelson]

I’ve lost several pregnancies due to a genetic disorder I didn’t know I had til my last one (he actually made it further than the others.) I felt so much hope loss. I’m so sorry for you and your grief… one day we’ll meet them.

[@TomTom-qm4mq]

My brother passed away and I remember having a dream about him. I woke up all excited and started to get ready to go see him. After about 10 minutes I realized it was just a dream. That's was a crushing feeling. It felt like I was reliving his death all over again. Amanda thank you for being here for us. I know you never reach out to me but I'd be here for you. Just like you were here for me. Watching your videos makes me feel a little better. I was always impressed with you to use y.t. platform to help people. Thank you.

[@MentalAmanda]

I've woke up thinking my parents were still there or that I have a daughter and I will frantically run around, confused as to why they aren't there. Then it kicks in. This is absolute Hell and one of the worst things ever to experience. I'm also here if you ever need to talk.

[@jimbaileyme]

Fear not Amanda, they see you. They're always with you.

[@ryanwind1988]

The part of this song that hits me the hardest is the end at the grave, I read in another comment section was when he gets to his dad's grave, the reaction is genuine, it was the first time he had been there since the funeral, and every time I see it, I just start bawling!

[@markbronson7942]

I loved your opening statement about growing beyond the limits of what other people have set for me. That is why "Nothing Else Matters" my Metallica, is now my theme song, my girlfriend and I now. Thanks for doing what you do. This song, wow! This screams about so many days that I struggled thru after losing my wife, I felt so many people around me had no right to be happy in the middle of all of my sadness. I'm thankful I am getting another chance at love, but wow I still miss my wife every once in a while. I am thankful she was released from all of her pain, but I was not thankful back then.

[@egomaniac247]

What a great reaction. Thanks for sharing some of your story, even as a complete stranger I'm so proud of you! I subbed!

[@richardmorley2088]

What a beautiful reaction. Thank you for all you do

[@yolandarussell2604]

Mental Amanda, I can relate to losing my father who passed away 5 years ago from a stroke I miss him terribly, there's not a day that I don't think about him. He won't be able to give me away at my wedding, or see me give birth to my first child he should be here.

[@marikiemarie7622]

I lost my brother in 2016. He was only 26. About 3 weeks after his funeral, i got a call that i was excepted into an elite program for teachers. Very very big deal. When i got of the phone, i got into my car to go to my brothers house to tell him in person. I literally got most of the way there when i realized hes been gone for 3 weeks. I was gutted all over again. Took me 20 minutes to be able to drive back home.

[@MentalAmanda]

I had a similar experience about the same amount of time after my mom passed - I was walking to her room to tell her something only to realize she isn't there. I truly hope that you are finding ways to connect with his love and energy. Please feel free to share memories of him here so we can help you keep his spirit alove. 💖

[@stevendolangitano4life301]

Grief is just love with nowhere to go. At least that's what I think. Sometimes I still cry myself to sleep thinking about my mom.

[@debrafujioka9792]

So sorry for your loss I believe they know and are very proud of you.

[@donaldsmith283]

I'm new to your channel I love it thank you. Great job

[@davidgaps6589]

I got my travel bug from my grandmother. I remember as a kid staring at all the pictures she had from Denmark, to Kenya, to Peru and Japan. I remember the coins she had under the glass tabletop in the front room. She had passed before I made my first trip. I talked to everyone in the family looking for anything she traveled with. I wanted to carry a part of her with me. When I got back, I wanted to share the stories with her. The stories only travelers understand.

[@tennpsyc0316]

My childrens father completed suicide in 2005,when they were all under 10 years old- the emptiness never gets better, the pain turned from sharp stabbing intense pain to numbness and dull - Cole Swindells dad knew he signed with Warner, but never got to witness his success that came afterwards- he passed shortly after he signed

[@MentalAmanda]

I am so sorry for the loss that your family has gone through. I agree that the emptiness never fully goes away, it just shifts. But in those shifts, we can begin finding ways to share that person's love and wisdom and experiences with the world. I hope your family find strength

[@razependragon7472]

Thx for the reaction

[@DM00SE]

That got me at the end just like it got you. Wish I had mates like that.

[@Josh31287]

This was the first time cole had visited his dads grave because he was on the road....his reaction was very real 😢

[@angelicstorm4985]

There's a song/video you should watch by Brad Paisley called Whisky Lullaby. If you haven't seen it yet, be prepared. It's extremely emotional on so many levels. I just watched it and can say without a doubt, it sends you through so many feelings.

[@johnbubba1143]

Good song and video. Powerful as hell.

[@DragonSlayerKaloon]

I remember two days after my Mom passed away I seen a new tv show that I knew she would wanna see and I ran out to the table were my mom and dad always sat at and realized oh yeah mom is home in Heaven not here anymore I'm 40 now my family passed away dad in 2008, mom in 2019, my brother in 2020 he was about 6 years older then me, and 2021 my sister she was the oldest of us passed away. There are a lot of times thru out the day I just fell alone but I know God is always with me and I wanna hold out for my Great niece she is the only family I consider family anymore.

[@MentalAmanda]

I am sorry for your lose. I admire your strength to keep their memories alive. I'm here to listen. You can reply here or email me (in video description)/send me an IG message (@mentalamanda)

[@andrewbaack796]

I remember when my best friend passed away...I had a rough couple weeks at work and one day I had an amazing day at work and I was so excited to get home and tell her about it..... when I got home I found out that she passed away....it seems like it's always always a beautiful day when someone you truly care about passes away....it almost seems unfair but the older I get I realize or maybe just choose to believe is the reason that why it's a beautiful day when a loved one passes away is a beautiful day is that Heaven is celebrating that person coming home if that makes any sense....

[@wesleywren3050]

Grief never goes away it just gets easier to except the loss.

[@dutchdingman9833]

I lost my brother and sister 20 years apart and both my parents 8 months apart and my cousin Sam died this morning thank you for your reaction

[@MentalAmanda]

That is a lot of loss. Please feel free to share your memories of them here so that we can help keep them alive. You aren't alone. Be gentle with yourself.

[@The540Marine]

In this sea of people in America, I’ve never felt more alone. Yes, sometimes I get lost in the silence and peacefulness, but sometimes I wish I had someone to help resonate this song.

[@SpencerHelle3128]

I can totally relate to this song and reaction. It makes me wish my two beautiful hearted soul cousins were still here with us. Michelle lost her battle and gained her wings and went home with god and Jesus in 2006. She lost her battle to leukemia at 24 years old. She was planning her wedding at the time. Most kindest person I’ve ever could have known. And Brandi gained her wins my freshman year of high school. She had fungus in her brain. I have a tattoo in their honor. I really wish they “Were Still Here” 😭😭😭

[@randybowers6884]

Dads old number is another good one by Cole swindell!

[@MrTopping]

Fantastic video again! I'd love for you to listen to 40 Watt Sun - Open My Eyes. It's a long song but the lyrics are something I'd love to hear you talk about, it's still a very emotional song for me even after hearing it a lot. Thanks again!

[@user-wm5go1cb6x]

This song hurts me because my passed away just before me and my wife got wed and on that day I cried.

[@mikezeller4816]

If you pay attention to the date of the phone call in the beginning to his dad, it was less than 2 months later that he passed from an accident and never got to see cole truly make it.

[@tylercoley8353]

This song hurts to listen to but if you like this one you should listen to drowning by Chris Young both of these hot home since I lost my brother they bring back the memories of that night

[@missourireaper68]

When I got out of high school I was supposed to graduate in 89 but before that I quit highschool thinking I didn't need it work a few years with a union job I meet a woman I thought was the person I would spin the rest of my life with I went back to highschool because of her and graduated in 1991 but before that I did her wrong and it really hurt me but I met another that would be come my wife she had a daughter that was 11 months old we got together and had four more children and I adopted her first child has my own life was good but not easy just after my last son was born I suffered what I call a nervous break down I went to get help was put on a lot med I remember what he told my wife some meds would cause aggression and agitation I was never got physical instead came like my father growing up he do damage with damning words on the day I realized what the medicine was doing it's like a light bulb going off but it was too late damage was done i was laying on the couch woke up knew what I had to do but she told me wanted to divorce she left me that wasn't in love with me no more that day I thought I would end it all but my mom save me I got better my kids came to live with me she got remarried and died at the age of 45 I worked bought my first house 2011 f5 tornado came killed 165 people in my town it's snap my healing half 28 Days later I develop blood clots in both lungs the doctor said it look like an angry night went off in both lungs I thought God forgot me but the doctor said I should be dead that I must have one hell of a guardian angel and on that day I believe God showed his true love for me that's when I came up with the same we are all born with a gift even if it is to make one smile because if you can make one smile and when nobody else can can save a life and make all the difference in the world and I am also Missouri

[@garygoodman4342]

Just found your channel, and just listening to your story there is song by Scotty McCreery called Five More Minutes you really need to listen to.

[@Kristen242008]

I'm not sure if anyone told you yet, but this song Cole wrote for his dad. He died just a few weeks after that phone call in the beginning of the video. He died when the truck he was working on fell on him. The scene in the cemetery was the first time Cole had been back there since the funeral. This song makes me think of my momma. She died 11/11/11 of cancer. It never really gets any better. Still hurts just as much now as it did then. If you would, could you listen to Within Temptation - Forgiven? If you do, watch a lyrics video. They cut out a verse in the official video, and personally, that verse if very important. My dad had me listen to that song the day after she died. I bawled. It hits me so hard. I took care of her for 4 years while she battled cancer. I was her primary caretaker, and I would do it all over again if I could only have her back.

[@michaellivesey3180]

Your mom your dad and your baby aren't really gone they live on in your heart

[@drklownius7249]

Great analysis of the song. Would love to see your react to 'Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush - Don't Give Up' not just as Kate is very topical atm, but it's an amazing song about depression

[@galerios1]

At least he got to share the good news before his father passed. It's a small comfort though.

[@StandUpComedyFan28m]

Besides "Beautiful" by P.O.D. that you should check out, another great song is Jimmy Eat World's "Hear You Me."

[@deadheadfor2oh948]

I always appreciate the realness and vulnerability of your reactions. Oh and that you are a wrestling nerd like myself lol

[@angelicstorm4985]

Next to Hulk Hogan, I would say the best wrestler over the years is The Undertaker. Who's yours?

[@MentalAmanda]

I miss Rowdy Roddy Piper.

[@deadheadfor2oh948]

Sting was always one of my favorites

[@angelicstorm4985]

@@deadheadfor2oh948 Sting is a legend. Unfortunately the majority of his time was in WCW. He only did a few matches in WWE. I never liked WCW, so I didn't see many of his matches. But when he made his first appearance at the end of Survivor Series in 2014 and saved Team Cena, it was epic. No one saw that coming.

[@angelicstorm4985]

@@MentalAmanda His energy and vibe was unmatched. Ronda Rousey even paid homage to him when she came to the WWE ---- kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKappqJ6jKeoaMU

[@PedroHernandez-bi4oh]

Would love your reaction to love and theft - whiskey on my breath

[@David-il4of]

You should check out Chase Rice's bench seat. It is very powerful and belongs on your channel.

[@damienosullivan193]

i remember hearing about Chris Benoit, him along with his family taken like that, can't imagine. Owen Hartthat was such a tragic accident mid match. I have episodes of Dark Side Of The Ring, been meaning to give them a look.

[@robertozc9827]

A great song about mental health (at least I relate to it) is The Unnamed Feeling of Metallica. You find it in his most hated album is called St Anger. That album was made while the singer James Hetfield was dealing with his addictions. The whole album has very deep lyrics but The Unnamed Feeling I think is the top one!

[@MaverickGaming]

You should do When The Seasons Change by 5FDP, I've seen you do quite a few of their songs and think you would like that one. Also I Apologize by 5FDP, that one talks about Ivans addiction

[@kiethaaron48]

I forgot this song was a trigger for me until it started playing, talk about a gut punch.

[@MentalAmanda]

I hope you either turned it off or were able to work through the trigger!

[@YouTubeBinging]

What you may not now is he also lost his mother last year.

[@ronhill3931]

His reaction at the gravesite was real it was not acted out for the video!

[@jacobsheber6803]

Im not sure if youll see this comment, but i think you should react to This Isnt The end by Owl City. I think it is very relatable

[@marikiemarie7622]

I like this girl.

[@briansgamesandanime]

Don't know if you've reacted to him or not but could you check out James Blunt and his song "Monsters"? It's a very emotional song about a son saying goodbye to his father.

[@MentalAmanda]

Here ya go! kzbin.info/www/bejne/iGm9ZZ-QZbqjrpI

[@kerrimelson]

Will you react to Chester See singing his original called Even Though I’m Gone????

[@thecaptleefanbatman9130]

You should react to Kelly Pickler I Wonder. Her true story she co wrote as a song.

[@teritench5743]

Jeremy Dill 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@tylerburt3826]

I lost my mom in 2013 when I was 23. Everyday I wish she was still here. I fell into a very dark place when she passed. I got married thinking it will heal my broken heart but my ex cheated me and fell into a darker place. Got married again cause I felt alone again but got cheated on again. I feel so worthless like everything that happened was my fault.

[@MentalAmanda]

It absolutely wasn't your fault. I lost my mom in 2007 when I was 22 and wound up in two very toxic back to back relationships (the first one resulting in my son and the second resulting in a marriage/divorce.) After walking away and doing my own healing, I am now in the most stable relationship of my life. Again, their wrongs were NOT because of you. And you are SO worthy of love.

[@tylerburt3826]

@@MentalAmanda Thank you. I’ve recently became a subscriber of yours after I saw your review of Citizen Soldier “if anyone one cares”. Love Citizen Soldier. I also love pro wrestling. I was seven when I got into it. I remember the Attitude Era and the Monday Night Wars. I would switch back and forth during commercials. I’m also a big fan of DDP. I’ve got his copy of Positivity Living.

[@sergiobrouwer13]

Please react to Children Of Bodom or Bodom After Midnight

[@tjcrabts6751]

you should react to dark enough by amanda lopiccolo alot of severly depressed or suicidal people can relate

[@donaldhillman4943]

can you plz react to rascal flatts why

[@lesleybruner1008]

A great song find out who your friends are by Tracey Lawrence

[@sethvaughn1931]

I think a song you would really enjoy listening to is in this river by black label society

[@facundonicolasmarsili6422]

Would you react to Nutshell - Alice in Chains? please

[@LordZerd]

Pearl Jam - jeremy, Please

[@emercamigla8521]

NICE 💥💥🇵🇭

[@dhananjayjha6222]

Is Indi rose your friend? Please Tell her we indians are missing her

[@edwardplex6678]

I lost my step dad.. when this came out..sucked

[@MentalAmanda]

I can understand how that would be especially challenging. I hope that you are finding peace and comfort and other ways to connect to his memory.

[@user-wm5go1cb6x]

This song hurts me because my passed away just before me and my wife got wed and on that day I cried.

[@user-wm5go1cb6x]

Now I wish my mum and dad was still here and that god took me not them.