first times with a girl, parenting books, & ex trauma bonding

[@sarahellen172]

Cam if it makes you feel better, my gf goes to her parents house when I’m sick😅. We just both hate being sick and find it best for us to stay apart. We show our love in other ways like care packages!

[@jimw966]

I really like this new setup. Very cozy and has a relaxed but professional vibe.

[@Yozzii10]

Padraig is the Irish for Patrick. It’s not stupid, it’s literally a language 😅

[@Slevensleven]

I can tell ya that the avoidance of sickness goes out the door once you have a kid. I used to avoid it at all cost, now I get coughs inside my mouth and vomit down my chest and poop explosions on my hands.

[@phoebes5008]

Oh girl you absolutely are still contagious if you have symptoms other than fever! My partner and I don’t have health anxiety but what we do have is lots of doctor friends, and none of us are smothering sick girlfriends 😂 we try to sleep in separate rooms when one is sick because why get it unnecessarily?

[@emilykenneally9917]

This statement isn't accurate

[@phoebes5008]

@@emilykenneally9917 what’s not accurate? Most adults with the flu can infect others beginning about one day before developing any symptoms and up to seven days after the symptoms resolve. Cammie said she still has a cough and probably other symptoms, too.

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

Sleeping in separate rooms is so shocking to me. I think I'm like Cammie, physical affection and routine is more important to me than the possibility of catching a mild illness.

[@tinycasa]

I def limit physical contact if me or my partner is sick. It’s less of avoiding and more of preserving the other persons health for me. If we both get sick at the same time it’s harder to be helpful. Also I wait for no symptoms at all for 24h, not only fever.

[@Carriehammer718]

Did you watch Shannon's new ep?

[@vivrud123]

This was so funny please do more of these pp-stories

[@jolly_joel]

Thanks for another great episode! This was a lot of fun :D

[@laurynelizz__]

Yessss perfect timing for my study sesh ❤

[@danielacastillomonagas2323]

i love y'all guys so much, this podcast makes me so happy

[@nkb420]

Taryn needs to realize her guy friends are Elon Musk fanboys and he pushes a lot of these culture war conservative theories like alpha male shit/anti psychology, trans panic, anti diversity. He literally says "cis" is a slur. I wouldn't wade into these topics publicly if you're not going to flesh them out. You sound way out of your depth.

[@swassthikasarma4862]

Right, also dont think their potential son would be like this. It is not inherently male, its just toxic masculinity.

[@Ripsandlifts]

This!

[@Carriehammer718]

​@@swassthikasarma4862so scary

[@hmmcms1]

As Taryn was describing the first book I was thinking, this sounds quite conservative…draw dropped when when I heard the title of the 2nd book. What a twist.

[@stayinguppod]

same!! i was like hmm there is a sprinkle of something here maybe? then BAM! haha -c

[@ambersjourneysinlife]

I have really bad health anxiety also, and cant be around even my favorite people if they are sick. I really understand where taryn is coming from with this, although it can be lonely without much physical affection with a partner.

[@chantellevanderwalt7720]

Hey Cam. I wouldn't worry to much about getting sick when you're pregnant as I have always and still do have a weak immune system BUT when I was pregnant, don't know if it's because of the good things I fueled my body with, I literally was the healthiest I've ever been and didn't get a single drop of a cold or anything when I was pregnant. It's like what I fueled my body with and having a baby inside of me made me body so strong to just not catching anything. When I had baby, I got sick again all the time. It's one of the things I'm so excited about when I'm going to be pregnant with the second one. A women's body is incredible when it carries little humans. ❤

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

I have heard from quite a few people that their mental health improved while they were pregnant, so I think having a better immune system or other physical health improvements would also track.

[@emakesmusic]

Yeah my spouse and I definitely limit kissing when one of us is sick. I thought everyone did that lol

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

I didn't realize anyone did this! I just read someone else sleeps in a different room when 1 is sick, it's such a strange concept to me. I thought increased risk of catching something was just part of being a couple, or sharing a house, like my siblings all used to catch everything but we didn't kiss each other or cuddle.

[@Anouddw]

I love Taryn's sense of humor 😭always making me laugh

[@charlycheer]

As someone born and raised in California who travels a lot, the Cali thing is so true. When people say Cali I cringe 🤭 I definitely cut it off and say California in my response.

[@carrie2971]

Omg, pre-covid I never got sick and I never had allergies. Now my immune system and allergies are completely different and it has me secretly terrified.

[@stayinguppod]

glad im not alone! it's so stressful! -c

[@brittanysmith1131]

My first time hooking up with a girl was with my college roommate (we both had boyfriends). We hooked up quite a bit through our college years and a bit after until we got married. We're still best friends today over 10 years later with kids and husbands and hooked up again last year... so yeah that's my story.

[@serena24u3]

That's hot😂 if you have feelings for her and want to persue her please do

[@VSandTaylorSwiftLove]

WHAT 😅

[@mogill7279]

Sorry I was dehydrated…my new vibe 😂

[@dawnlowe9524]

All I can see is Frank's feet moving, he must be having some crazy dreams. Great eppy as always and glad Cam is feeling better

[@lucia9806]

saying it smells like farts in here in an irish accent is sending me lmaoo

[@kaleslaw3]

okay ngl I absolutely avoid my partner if they are sick. I don't want to be sick sooooooo.... sorry to my next future partner lol

[@MsHollyMusic]

We 100% kiss when sick but we're both med students so no health anxiety lol

[@AlexandraRoberts-nu8er]

Wait I’m cry laughing at “I hope you were also in 5th grade”

[@esterkhomenko]

Thank you ladies, now after watching this pod now every time when I smell something weird i hear in my head this:" it's smells like farsss in here😅"

[@lwiln4389]

Haha yeah that book about trans people is quite common. It's the book my father pulled out before kicking me out a few years ago and the book my grandmother read that made her go from supporting to hating me. I'm now a stealth trans man, engaged to the love of my life and with a job I absolutely love in another country (and very much not regretting my transition). It's sad how just one book can change people's perception so much.

[@isonope2578]

glad you took out the Kate Middleton bit from the title

[@paigehornsey1472]

I'm with Taryn on this one. When my girlfriend is sick I don't go near the woman 😂😂

[@beywatch10]

same

[@J_theponderer]

Taryn is an 11/10 🙌

[@christinepp24]

Doggo’s feet in the background going for a lil jog

[@lauramay1655]

I can recommend a youtube deep dive on the book you mentioned about gen zs mental health by Dr Ana (Psychology with Dr Ana) called 'This author thinks she debunked the entire field of therapy' In it, she debunks the studies used in the book :) It is always important to be cautious of authors' ideologies!

[@beywatch10]

omg i also avoid my partner if they are sick, LOL. im with you taryn, LOL

[@sarahellen172]

I live in Oakland and no one says Cali!!

[@emmajadams]

I was born and raised in california (specifically orange county too!) and i never heard anyone call it 'cali' until i moved to idaho for college. The ONLY people I've ever heard call it cali are not from california

[@Ripsandlifts]

So much for that in sickness and health. So if Cammie is sick and so is your future child, what then?

[@ellafrew384]

love ya'll

[@lindsaymick]

oh this is gonna be GOOD

[@KarmaKenzie17]

My wife and I still kiss and cuddle when one is sick 😵‍💫

[@lindseykells793]

42:00 guess I should’ve punctuated better.

[@madaleeX]

Lol I’m from the east coast and have heard people call it Cali who were born and raised there, so idk

[@micheleminer9499]

Frank's feet are going off.

[@megancurtis9502]

It sounds like you're referencing the topic of the book "irreversible damage: trans craze seducing our daughters." I'd recommend you look up rebuttals on the topic because they do so in a more eloquent and well-researched way than I can, but it's basically been disproven and is based on science and stats that we don't even have a small reason to believe exist. AMAB people have always gotten better healthcare, so it makes complete sense that until recently trans women were the only ones who were allowed to transition. Additionally masculine women are more accepted in society than feminine men. A person who probably would have been a trans man in today's age because the have that representation would probably accept the fact that they are just a masculine woman more easily because that is more normalized in society. Whereas if an AMAB person wants to be a girl and put on a dress, people would be way more threatened by that and label you with derogatory trans slurs even if you weren't actually a trans woman. But a woman in a suit was just a feminist. Based on these reasons, it makes complete sense to me that trans women used to be more prevalent and there appears to be a recent "spike" in gender dysphoria in AFAB people. In reality it was always there, but it would have been brushed off as "you're just a tomboy" or "you're just a lesbian". The book also lies and makes it seems like trans men have surpassed trans women in stats, when in reality they've just evened out to where we would expect. The idea that conservative kids are being indoctrinated by hearing talks at school about trans people or seeing videos on youtube is laughable. It's almost as if not telling your trans kids that trans people exist, and then they find out trans people exist, makes them realize they've always been trans. I follow trans youtubers as a cis ally and part of the queer community, and I've genuinely never questioned my gender. Also, I highly doubt there were "no previous signs of gender dysphoria", that's just the perspective of the parents of children who don't feel comfortable talking about gender, gender expression, and sexuality with their parents. In reference to the notion that puberty blockers cause permanent infertility, I've never heard that, and I honestly doubt there's any truth to that. These are the same people who believe birth control is abortion and that the rona vaccine is more likely to kill you than the virus itself (honorable mention to vaccines causing autism). Regarding mastectomies and irreversible surgery, I'm definitely against that in children, and I think it should be case by case from 18-21. Conservatives use the extremely rare cases of this happening to further the agenda that democrats are pro "mutilation of children" and that the majority of us would advocate for something as extreme as top or bottom surgery in a child. I would definitely be pro a breast reduction though since that wouldn't have permanent damage to the child bearing parts in AFAB people's chests. And I'm obvious very pro puberty blockers, and hormone therapy in older teens. In relation to the "study" in the book itself, the author literally exclusively interacted with parents of trans children to prove her theory that "rapid onset gender dysphoria" or whatever she called it exists. She did so by recruiting parents from conservative websites, basically finding people who already believe such a thing exists. She talks to trans people, but from what I understand the research is purely based on the parents' perception. So yeah, it's bad science, and science is honestly too generous a word. Those are a few main points I have, but there's many more addressed in rebuttals written by people who read the study and the book. I believe Jammidodger has a video that addresses it too. I know the book cover is in one of his thumbnails. Also, Bezos needs to get on his ish and remove anti-LGBTQ books (and books in general based on disproven lies) from the LGBTQ studies section. I understand it's probably an algorithm, but seeing that must be very confusing and heart wrenching for closeted kids struggling with their religion calling them sinners and unsupportive parents. Then on top of that they can't look for books to learn about themselves without sifting through hateful books. Edit: Forgot to add that trans boys coming out does not improve their "social status" lmao. The world is still VERY transphobic, and children in general face more bullying than anyone for being different. That is probably the parents' perception because the child is probably spending less time around their transphobic family, so the parents' assume that their child is more popular for it. Trans people are one of the most hated groups in the world right now, so I can assure you that people transitioning are often doing it because it's life and death, not for clout.

[@megancurtis9502]

In regards to the parenting book, I get that it sounds interesting from the synopsis, but I would assume it's not great advice (and also terribly researched if we assume her past mistakes repeat themselves). Based on the synopsis, I would not be shocked at all if she is extremely anti therapy and other well researched mental healthcare. She also talks about "gentle parenting" like someone who has no idea what gentle parenting actually is. She's probably referencing permissive parenting, and would probably advocate for semi-authoritarian parenting that involves out dated and not useful discipline, and possibly physical discipline like spanking. I'm not 100% sure, but she probably also approaches from a conservative Christian perspective, even if she doesn't state this in the book.

[@NancyCooper-mw2hp]

Social contagion. It’s a cult.

[@faeriesandrainbows]

My partner and I have been together for over 9 years, and he always avoids me and doesn't kiss me when I'm sick. Bums me out too.

[@loraleepooley3669]

When you have kids and get sick you just take turns laying down. Lol. You just do the best you can and muddle through it.

[@Carriehammer718]

I wash my hands soo many times a day

[@parkerduncanart]

Got whiplash when the trans book was mentioned. You guys should definitely check out some of the trans youtubers who are mentioned in this book to educate yourselves further on this book/topic. They are very informative on the harmful rhetoric spread in the book. love you guys and this pod!!!

[@loraleepooley3669]

Unless it was Covid my hubs and I never worry. It’s like whatever. Lol 🤷‍♀️

[@sarahdoggett4046]

I give my girlfriend affection all the time and ESPECIALLY when she's sick. I personally don't care if she gets me sick (which rarely happens off one quick peck)

[@KaraFrances-il8mi]

Hi guys forget where u said this (maybe another episode ? ;:) but when u were talking about watching/ liking the Twilight Movies ? Maybe they are just nostalgia for yr age range but um friendly reminder that whole series is super unhealhy and the opposite of romantic. Vampires are predators. Full stop. Hollywood trying to make predator vibes sexy / trendy / nbd casual is pretty fucking sick and almost worse than ultra violent horror movies in a way because its much more subtle.... and influential to younger naive minds.... they are pushing the emo / goth thing hard in general now btw and its v dark not exactly mental health 4 teens It's an agenda and like fetishizing depression also kristen stew is no gay icon to admire per se all the best and remember Hollywood often exploits both straight AND gay ppl equally ! Yay equality 😊✌️

[@staceynjani9859]

I am Taryn and she is me...i love you and i fear germs 😢

[@livestes3946]

also like kids who were born with the internet...the bullying is taken home with you.

[@martlinx78]

Damn Cammie you’re just out here showing the dogs for FREE? These foot fanatics are crazy

[@raeannetittsworth412]

BEEESSSSTT FEET PICS EVER! 🐾🖤

[@Reunion4ever]

The book sounds great - it is a FAD to be trans for the majority of young girls.

[@NiinaSKlove]

Interesting podcast episode. - I’d suggest you’d invite some of the girls/women who’ve d-transitioned onto your podcast. There’s many brave and interesting d trans girls and women out there on YT. Their stories deserve to be heard too. There’s also different organizations thar you can look into. 😊

[@wooodstock]

My partner and I try not to fart in each others space, but we totally touch when we are sick. We cuddle , kiss , hug, spoon, makeout, etc. Of course there is also plenty of space. but we do share fisical touch everyday. We can sometimes wait for the other one to finish coughing and continue touching you know... The quaranteen is maybe an anxiety thing and it's probably hard for both of you. But don't worry you'll get through it and awareness is good.

[@wooodstock]

The childhood thing might be related to the health anxiety. Being fisically distanced or verbally unwanted for days when sick can be hard. If you experience that as a kid you'll form your whole mind around that. But also you can't force anybody to snuggle a sick person. It's a valid preference LOL poor Cam tho

[@Vardagsvegan1]

My partner and me does everything like we always do when sick. Maybe give them a few more kisses if they're sick so they feel better. I feel like im already screwed if we live together xD You will be around sick, vomit, fever, cough, snot 24/7 when the baby arrives. It will be exposure for Taryn for sure, maybe it will go over faster than we think? If this feels hard to read, maybe do CBT with ERP before its time. Im curious though - is this something you've thought of? Are you scared that it will be a problem? About the hair thingy. If you're using Taryns egg, the spermdonar "should" look like Cammie. And with Cams egg the spermdonar should look like Taryn... right?

[@sarahtee5422]

so silly

[@lattefemmee]

ok taryn, your health anxiety is getting way out of control. i suffer from health anxiety as well, so i do understand the struggle. but avoiding cammie just because she’s sick? that’s just not cool. and if i remember correctly, y’all decided that cammie is the one who will carry y’all’s baby because of your health anxiety too, right? i’m sorry, but that’s honestly a bit of a red flag in my opinion. get your health anxiety in order, please.

[@madaleeX]

👎🏼

[@hannahlondon7477]

Yikes this comment feels so unnecessary, it takes a lot I’m sure for Taryn to be open and honest about her health anxiety and she was very clear she’s not completely avoiding seems more trying to keep from a situation where they are both sick and unable to get a lot done. These two seem to have such a healthy strong love. Let’s not leave such unkind comments come on.

[@madisona09]

they record this podcast to connect with eachother and also to entertain us, but that doesn’t make you entitled to tell either of them what to do or how to feel about themselves. this comment is so entitled. you’re not a friend or parent showing tough love, you are a stranger so it’s not your place to say this and definitely not your place to say it the way you did.

[@Anouddw]

wtf

[@megancurtis9502]

I don't have health anxiety and I keep a safe distance from anyone who is sick, including partners. I don't think it's that unreasonable to not physically touch for a week or two. Not wanting to carry is always valid, no matter the reason, and if Cammie doesn't care I'm not sure why you do.

[@Nutritionbyanni]

Definitely having a toddler running around while being sick is hard to navigate. Leaning into your support system is crucial. Also order groceries and just make things easier for yourself because indeed it can get CRAZY trying to navigate. 🥲 You guys got this though.♥️ alsooo never been sick as much as with a little one in daycare - but hoping for super immunity after the fact😅