Fi’s Fight Back - appointment day

[@bookdiva401]

I cried with you, I felt the panic and the frustration. My wish for you today is that in that one moment of silence..however brief it may be...you will look back on that day and think "My gosh! How strong I was to push through!" As someone who suffers with a mental illness I understand how loud those voices can be sometimes, and how difficult it can be to shut them out. You are stronger than you feel at that moment. Sending you much love and support! ❤️

[@OrlaRodgers]

Fi I have never wanted to climb through my phone and hug someone as much as I do watching this ♥️ Every word you speak is so raw and shows the true reality of recovery and just thank you for being so vulnerable and showing me that recovery isnt always sunshine and happiness. You can do this xxx

[@charaharris5455]

My dear sweet girl ❤️❤️ I am about your parents age and I have a son your age. Without a doubt, you are not a burden to your parents. Your success is their success. And it will come. Be gentler with yourself. NEVER feel bad about asking your parents for help. They want to help you!! Praying for you everyday. I feel like I’m in this with you Sending lots of love and hugs ❤️❤️

[@helenagowans4419]

I see the pain in your eyes. Something that is so basic to some is so hard for someone else and this comes with many things in life.. The things that we take for granted everyday such as eating or sleeping or getting out just the basic normal things can be so hard and challenging. Your very brave for posting your journey and i know and see in your eyes the pain that you feel but just remember one thing that you are not alone. Take one minute at a time and keep talking to the world baby girl. I wish you a speedy recovery but at the same time be patient with yourself, Rome wasn't built in a day. Much love take care

[@kellyknight7599]

I just recently found you on tictok and followed you here too. I just want you to know you are doing amazing. I'm 49, and I am on the other side of recovery of a ED for almost 30 years. I want you to know you CAN do this, it WILL get better with all the hard work you're doing to get better. It is hard as hell but I can already tell without knowing you personally you will get to other side as well. So proud of you Fi, you're an amazing young lady!

[@rvigil881]

A crying/vent session is needed once in a while to keep our mental health in check. Just know you are loved always. We as your followers have so much faith and love for you. You are brave, you are strong, and you are capable. So proud of your progress Fi. ❤️❤️

[@erinsmall4319]

I’ve never been so “raw” in front of anyone in my life and you are to all of us. I’m 52 and frozen because I lost my dream job due to Covid so I dove into taking care of my Grandbabies and lost myself. Trying to crawl out of the depression and rejection is crippling. I’m thankful I’m not alone 💕💕💕 We can do this 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

[@sarahbeckerhortsch1387]

Fi, your eloquence is such a gift to the world.

[@amyallen69]

Fiona…..Oh how this takes me back!!! I remember like it was yesterday. My heart is breaking for you. 💔I just wish I could take you in my arms and hug you!!!! I struggled in my teens (35 years recovered) One thing that helped me through was constantly saying to myself “every bite is a victory!” I know how scared you are. I know how guilty you feel…how tired….how your tired of missing life…feeling stuck while watching other’s live. You are doing it!!! You are stronger than you know!! You’ve got this!!!! I promise one day you’ll look back on this and realize just how strong you are!!!!!!!

[@shannond2201]

Oh Fi. A huge hug sent to you from a phone to a phone. Your not a horrible person. You are loved. You are strong. You have got this. I tell my 4 year old every day You are brave and strong. And I want to tell you that too. ♡

[@jenniferjager6259]

You are not alone, Fi.

[@Lottyec]

So so brave. Incredible and u articulate it perfectly. The noise, the torture in your head. Wow fi such a real, authentic and such a brave lady to show it to help others ❤

[@Kellyirish75]

Fi, you are doing great girl, dont EVER feel down on yourself. I have fought a 10 yr drug addiction, many deaths in my immediate friends/family, self harm, depression, and an ED, and i can tell you that the ED is by far the HARDEST struggle!! Keep in mind when fighting, the most horrific days you have while battling this, are not set backs or failing at all! They are proof of how hard you are fighting and how well you are battling this illness, cuz if you were giving in to the anorexia, you wouldn't feel as bad as you do; therefore, you are winning your fight more and more with ever "bad" day you have!! Im on your side and routing for you minute by minute. YOU GOT THIS!! ❤️🍀❤️🍀❤️

[@christineboehm8470]

It’s ok to be tired, frustrated and angry. This is a good moment-showing frustration and anger just shows that you are fighting back! My daughter doesn’t have an ED but she has a chronic illness that in the last year has taken her strength, put her in a wheelchair, she lost her job, and she can’t go to college. I see her having a lot of the same feelings as you. I see her feeling bad that she needs so much help. I see her feeling like she is a bad person. She is none of those things and neither are you! I don’t care how much help my daughter needs. I will help her every day. Your parents are the same. You are never a burden to them. You are strong Fi! You can beat this! Keep reaching for your dreams! I believe in you Fi, just like I believe in my daughter. You will both overcome great obstacles and you will both win!

[@sandee1000]

Recovery is not linear but you are doing it. You are not the problem. The illness is. You are worthy of all the help because you are fighting

[@jenniferneiheiser8138]

Fiona...is there a spiritual component to your recovery? You mention your team, your parents, your friends....all wonderful supports.... Is there a Higher Power in your life? A God?

[@Kaelah08]

You’re so incredibly brave for posting this! It’s very vulnerable and real, and it really shows just how difficult battling this illness is. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re doing amazing; you’re making improvement. It’s ok to be tired and it’s ok that it’s hard, but you’re pushing through and that shows incredible resilience and persistence! Keep going, one day at a time, x

[@rebeccastock2559]

I’m sorry things are so hard at the moment. You’re a remarkably strong person. You face your biggest fear multiple times a day. How many people can say that? Be gentle with yourself, you’ve got this.

[@abbie3364]

Oh Fi, my heart broke seeing you struggle so much but I am so inspired by the strength you have to fight. You are truly a warrior and have an army of people behind you ❤️

[@amymoorhead8806]

In this cry session, in your anger there is so much more strength and life than your previous videos. You seem to be getting stronger and healthier every day. Keep going. So many people that don’t even know you are rooting for you and praying for you. You are beating it every day.

[@20so]

This!!! I came to comment the same thing. Your anger is so good, it’s so important, let yourself feel it!!

[@christine5512]

Finding Fi is the ultimate goal! You’ve got this 🥰

[@christinemcginily5071]

I feel your panic and anxiety, just one minute at a time you will find Fi. She is fighting for you as much as you are fighting for her. Keep going Fiona.

[@nursanaani7020]

Pls. Don't. Give up, the voice in your head is trying to kill you, plsss if you eat for your well being the voices that intrusivefy your head will begin to defeat, keep going. This is the beginning of freedom

[@allisonhamilton1245]

Give yourself grace. Mental illness of any kind is a process. I was diagnosed at 19 with clinical depression. I'm 50 now. There are many more good days than bad. You have got this. I promise.

[@slacker13244]

I hope that you find a way to harness this anger into motivation. To be able to use your anger to quiet the voices in your head. They will never go away, but you anger can dull them, quiet them so that you can continue to make progress - no matter how small. Keep finding Fi.

[@nicolepoole3501]

I see you honey!! I hear you!!! Fi! Fi ! You’re in there sweetheart!! YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT!! You are worth it!! Praying, praying, praying…. Love you!!

[@motivatingoperations7467]

Your anger is completely valid. Your sharing of it is valuable to so many people (most importantly, you). ❤️

[@charlottsie2187]

I know it is awful to breakdown and feel anxious and angry and upset. But I want to thank you for being vulnerable and honest with yourself and others, because I know it will help yourself and so many other people who are going through similar things. Thank you for being brave and sharing when things are tough, and being open that you're struggling and having a bad time. But keep on doing the next right thing, Fi. I believe in you.

[@BuinidhMoChridheDoAlba]

Keep talking Fiona. You are so much stronger than you realise. Recovery is not linear, Recovery will come. You have come this far, you can and will reach your goals. When you doubt yourself, remember that it's the anorexia and draw strength from everyone who believes in you. There is so many of us. You've got this, I don't doubt it at all. When it seems that there is only a tiny speck of light at the end of the tunnel, remember that when you keep going, the speck gets bigger until you reach the other end

[@melaniecangialosi7368]

i don't usually ever comment on videos, but your story has really touched me. last year i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and bpd and it has really hit me hard. i've been overcoming a very intense depressive episode for the last 2 months. i found your videos on tiktok during this time of feeling so hopeless and it's really helped me. your grace, strength, and honesty have inspired me to fight back against my own struggles. i made an appointment for medications just yesterday after an extremely exhausting session with my therapist. you're not alone, fi, and you will get through this. thank you so much for sharing these moments with us.

[@amyelizabethscraftcorner]

Your doing it! You're slowly beating this minute by minute! We are so proud of you! Fight for Fi!!!

[@meredithlyttle2306]

I can sense the tenacity you have, fi! You WILL make it to the other side of this. Sending you all the hugs and encouragement I can! 🤍🍀🌼⭐️❣️

[@mistyhurlburt2689]

Anger, frustration and fear are all normal responses when fighting this. I just hope you also pause long enough to see how incredibly strong and brave you are just by choosing to fight. You are accomplishing great things even though you feel weak. You are a warrior

[@Tootsandfloofs]

Honey you have come so far already be very proud of that. Be tenacious Fi and take deep breaths.❤ sending you all the love and light

[@seanharpur8929]

I was so worried from tiktok that you were being re admitted. So pleased that you are not. You have got this and you are doing it! Keep going from New Zealand.

[@emilyh5928]

Fi you are a lot stronger than you think. You are still fighting and pushing during this fight. You are so strong and I am cheering you on from the side lines. Let’s go Fi you got this

[@katherineelizabeth3542]

I can’t put myself in your shoes but I felt every word you said. As someone who struggles with a mental health disorder, I felt everything you felt - I want to thank you for sharing this. For keeping this vulnerable because the stigma of mental illness and eating disorders need to diminish from our culture. I’m tired too. I am with you every step of the way. You have changed my life, Fiona. You are worthy of recovery, never forget that!

[@peatsol6866]

Fi you are doing it, every minute every hour every day. It is hard! EDs are hard. Mentally and physically and socially. You need to feel all the feelings and its tough but your doing it.

[@kimsmith797]

Fi,for reasons unknown to me,you appeared on my FYP on tic toc way before Christmas. I find myself checking in on you,following you to KZbin and I'm cheering you on. Just keep going. Sending love from a small town in Nova Scotia 🇨🇦💞

[@shannondrost2835]

Keep fighting Fi, you will come back in the ways you desire.

[@lucyh5456]

You are so strong Fi. Take it one day at a time. Try and not allow your mind to create scenarios and outcomes that no one can actually know. All you have is this moment, focus on what you can do now. So proud of you. I have been in a similar place to you. My dachshund sends you lots of puppy dog cuddles 🥰

[@sallypayne8914]

Fi you're so brave, it reminds me when I was in the same position 2 - 3 years ago, perhaps you could design a poster with your goals for this year/things that you want to get back to, your aims, eg University, dog walking, so you can look at it from. Your bed and when you sleep at night that will help remind you, why you are doing recovery, you can't have those things without getting better. I know Ed mind is Shit and constant at this stage I remember fighting (arguing over new /different foods/increases) but I was told if I didn't then I couldn't increase my activity (so there was 2 choices every meal time, eg to not comply or to battle through, even in the early stages if that meant I was sitting at the table for a while, I bought some smiley stickers in the end to give myself after every complete meal.) I'm proud of you for keeping on going, you can do it Fi. I do so want to give you a hug too.

[@blessedmom9227]

Fi I am thinking such kind thoughts for you. You are helping so many people. You are very brave. ❤

[@Jittabug6]

First, I love the blue nails!

[@joanneaylward1431]

I wish I could hug you and your mom and dad. Take away how difficult it is. It hurts, as a mom, a survivor of an ED to see such pain. I get the healthy you and the ED fighting in your head all of the time. You’re so strong Fi to not just give up. Your reward is a new start because u can’t go back to the way it was. You’re going to be a stronger version of yourself. There’s going to be a renewed sense for life because you made it. We believe in you Fi! 🇨🇦♥️

[@annettestephens7107]

It broke my heart watching this 🥲 as a mother I just wanted to give you a hug ❤️ you are an inspiration Fiona for saying what you are going through in this recovery with anorexia❤️ step by step you got this XX

[@lizzardeskas4769]

You are doing great Fi❤️ That’’s a terrible monster in your head…. Every day it gets tamer and tamer through your strength and those around you. ❤️❤️

[@roxanneperdue1288]

Sending so much love to you. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your feelings. It’s so difficult. You are loved and encouraged by all of us.

[@chelseydixon8342]

Felt every word of this. Just know, it does get quieter and you will live again 🥰

[@kukui1679]

hour by hour fi is coming back and it’s so hard. sending you all the love and strength and courage and compassion that you can beat this illness for good and get fi back ❤️

[@everything_movies602]

I was crying with you.. You put it so beautifully hun You worded it so perfectly!! You have fighting you and you're going to beat this and I know how hard it is I struggle for 13 years with this You going to do it

[@lisamedlyn3818]

Changing your mindset is the most challenging piece of the puzzle. It will come in time. It will not happen overnight.

[@renaeclarke3128]

Bless your heart Fi. ❤️

[@litsazotou8299]

Keep going 💪 you are very strong woman!! nothing can stop you!!!

[@stephaniemarie7067]

Fi, you’re SO strong! Don’t apologize for being really tired, you’re on a hard journey! Give yourself some GRACE. Please don’t feel like a burden, you’re no burden. You’ll look back when you’re walking the dogs one day and say “Fi YOU, YOU did this! Keep on keeping kiddo! Much love & hugs from the US! ❤️

[@KH-sq8wy]

I am so so sorry this has been so excruciatingly painful. Has your team considered medication (temporarily ) for the distress level? I’m an eating disorder therapist. This is an unbearable process and I’m sending you peace and love.

[@aliflanagan7669]

Oh Fi 💜 we see you, we see you working so incredibly hard. You're doing the right thing x

[@ksabat9]

You've got this, Fi! You're an amazing person and we're all here supporting you! You are strong. You are brave. You are amazing. You WILL beat this!

[@gingerkirby8208]

You've survived every hard day of your life, and I know by now that you survived this day. I am happy that you survived and moved past it. Keep doing that. It won't always be like this. There will be a day in the future where you don't think about the calories in yogurt. Where you sit or stand as much or as little as you want, and you live a happy life. Trust me. Recovery is hard, but you can do hard things. I promise.

[@jacquelinehardy8827]

You beautiful, brave, courageous soul....We are all rooting for you! You got this...one bite at a time...xox Thank you for showing up and being vulnerable. Its such a sign of strength ♥️

[@caseyblue3732]

Oh my girl..I completely understand how you feel. I’ve been out of treatment for almost 13 years now. I wish I could say the vice goes away completely but, for me it never has. Although I’m stronger now and fight it back with ease. Abs you are right-you don’t get any off time from it but, it will get easier my love. I promise! So are so resilient and you got this sweetheart

[@harmonyhope1709]

I felt every word of that. Feeling emotional for you and for all of us trapped in this awful situation. The noise in my head is just as unbearable at times and I'm also missing out on life, work, meet ups with friends.... Yet the way out of this situation as you rightly say is to keep going!!!!! Really proud of you for fighting so hard and it seriously is encouraging me to do the same. We can do this Fi and we will find ourselves again 💪❤️🌈

[@marybethgroce5605]

Here from tiktok - my eyes are so opened to just how intense this struggle is for those fighting this illness. I struggle with overeating, but not to the extent that you're describing. What a raw, real story you're telling, and helping thousands of people that are rooting for you in the background. Just. Keep. Going.

[@maylingrace]

Shedding tears with you dear. It's not right. It's not fair. It's so right to be angry.

[@lizzardeskas4769]

Sending you a great big hug ❤️

[@kathleenbenjamin1131]

Prayers love and peace

[@rydevries3103]

Praying for courage and strength for you!

[@laurajacobson7295]

You are so brave ...you are not alone...you have all of us cheering you on... hour by hour you WILL do this... much love 💚

[@cw9452]

You can do this Fi! I was in your situation at the end of 2019 and I can say that it's possible to be free of all the anorexia if you keep working hard. Sending you lots of love and light, its not easy xxx

[@LornyLuPots]

Thing is sweetheart you can look back at this fight and say i did it! And it will all be worth it! You are so strong and it may not look like it to you but you are so strong and brave! And you will be happy again x you are amazing! X

[@JenniferWallen]

Sending you such a BIG hug. You really shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re fighting so so incredibly hard. The anxiety and panic will fade I promise. You’re so determined. Please be as proud of yourself as we are. ❤️❤️

[@jeannette7926]

Fi, you are certainly educating me on ED. You are very brave ! Be gentle with yourself. May I ask how old you are?

[@glynis7970]

I’ve never in my life wanted to hug someone as much as I want to hug you Fi. I see you struggling and fighting but to be as brave as this to show your reality in all its rawness ….I’m speechless Fi you truly are the toughest person. There is no shame in asking for help and I’m sure your people are proud to do their part in your fight. Please know we are so proud of you 💐❤️

[@rae-annsmith4325]

Just keep going,just keep going.....I'm here from tiktok i just wanna give you the biggest hug ever❤️❤️❤️

[@chargergirl0503]

Sending you sooo much love and support! ❤️❤️❤️#keepgoing

[@purplecat1989]

You're doing so well Fi. I can see the strength there even if you cannot. The fact you keep going even through your moments of despair is testament to your strength. It takes such courage to do what you are doing. And if you have to take it minute by minute then so be it. You will find yourself again ❤

[@damandy4021]

I have panic attacks too. I pray, and I distract myself, and keep telling myself, it will get better. I have an anxiety playlist of songs that I listen to when I need a boost.

[@lorenspath6538]

You are a beautiful person Fi. I think you are doing a great job. You are not alone, I understand what you are going through. I have those cruel voices in my head 24/7. I feel guilt and shame after eating too. I love watching your journey because its helpful to me, and reminds me im not alone. keep going, youve got this!!! It is very tiring, but it will get better. You have a wonderful support team, and you are very lucky.. Trust everybody and you will be fine. Its the illness that makes us feel fear and shame. Keep fighting!! Love,Loren

[@euisouchra]

I sent you a big kiss and a big hug.. Its OK to have bad days in this fight.. Just take a big breath and keep going.. We are with you.. Don't afraid one day all of this will be past.. Sorry for bad English.. I sent all of my good vibes and love

[@petraa.k.a.granolahead2436]

Hugs and applause for doing what you're doing!

[@maddiem2460]

Fi, you always say exactly the right things. Every day when you stay the course, you’re moving forward. With every single “next right thing,” you’re one step closer - even if you have to cry your way through it, girl. ♥️

[@heather2238]

Keep going Fi. 💪 we r here for u. Ur brave even when u think ur not, u are. One day, one hr, one moment at a time. I'm sorry this is so emotionally painful this is but I know you can do it. Much love.

[@lindaadams208]

This is the hardest thing you will ever do. The only thing that will may the voices go away is to stop fighting them. You’re right, you need to keep going❤️

[@katharinakurz1178]

You are such an inspiration

[@drdebthompson]

One minute at a time… you are persevering thru such a gruelling and torturous illness and you will beat it! The only way out is through. Hugs from Canada 🤗

[@Çyñ012love]

You are very brave to post this. So much vulnerability. I am a psychologist and have worked with eating disorders and I know the level of agony you are in. I wish I could sit and talk with you and give you a hug. Just keep going.

[@claredate]

Thank you so so much for video-ing this process, Fi. Honestly, this was the first time I felt I really connected to your recovery journey…seeing the upset and hearing you talk through it was so viscerally familiar. You are such a lovely person, and looking back on this video from “the future” (I sometimes watch your old videos when I’m struggling to eat as a distraction and to see someone fighting too), I am so amazed at how much more life is in your eyes these days (now). You are just…more sparkly. More connected. I know it’s hard, and just know I’m right there with you.

[@Finding_Fi]

Thankyou Clare. This took me back to re-watching this video which also helped me realise how far I have come. I'm so glad I can help you in anyway, that helps me! We will get there xxx

[@madlove4603]

I feel the worst for your parents. How difficult it must be for them to have to go through this on the daily. How their lives are on hold. As frustrated as you are this should be your catalyst to move forward. I fought through it you can too. It takes hard work and strong will.

[@karenroach6506]

It’s a horrible illness you are fighting, and every little step takes an enormous amount of strength and bravery. And you have shown you have both those things - even when you’re struggling, and sad, and exhausted - you still keep going. Lean on your support system as much as you need - they love you! 💕

[@kathryntaylor5571]

You’ve got this Fi! Sending all my love from across the pond!! ❤️

[@aimeedavid5549]

I just want to give you a hug. Close your eyes and imagine the light at the end of the tunnel. You may not be able to see it now, you just have to believe that it's there (that's what helped me recover). ED'S are exhausting..... Just keep focusing on your goals. Take care of yourself. ❤❤❤

[@nicoleschreffler8645]

Fi I can relate with everything you spoke about I'm also in recovery from Anorexia and it is exhausting and no one can understand how extremely hard it is but will get through it one meal at a time

[@harmonyhope1709]

💪💪💪 We all will xx sending love and strength

[@gretabearden6321]

I pray for you. You r such a beautiful young lady and my heart breaks for you and this battle you r so bravely battling. I wish there was more we could do to help make it easier for you but just know you have a huge cheering section rooting you on!!

[@shannonbannanie4370]

As always sending lots of love and light. I hope that you get the quiet in your mind, even for a moment.

[@stephx333]

You will get through this Fi, you are so strong and you meet each challenge with resiliency. These struggles and panic attacks and tears are all part of the process and show how strong you are - these tears happen because you’re still fighting for your life back. They’re proof of your strength, courage, and resiliency. Remember how it was in the beginning - when things felt wrong it reminded you that you were on the right path. That’s still true now. You will get through this, we all love and support you ❤️ Edit to say that my cat Helo came to rub against my phone while you were crying, he heard you being upset and wanted to comfort you. We’re all here for you and proud of how hard you’re working

[@harmonyhope1709]

Awww that's soo lovely about you cat ❤️ animals are the best xx

[@aimeetaylor4380]

Sending healing vibes, Fi.

[@larissameek6687]

Sending you a very big hug from the Netherlands. Hold on Fi, you can do this 💪❤

[@madsbaird7830]

even though our eating disorders are so different I felt so much of this. Every single word resignated with me and I am so sorry. Cheering you on from the states. You got this💙

[@anne-mariesullivan3174]

You are amazing, I am in recovery myself and it’s so hard but just keep going - sending lots of love and support x

[@caitlynjustice6845]

You’ve got this Fiona! 💗