Fixing Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright

[@aegishield2836]

Roses are red, I fly in the sky, Ryoma is broken, he makes everything die... No words, only laughter.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

haha! glad you liked it, second coming of the gem from the first one "Roses are red, camilla has Breasts, soon all of Hoshido, will fly Nohrian crests."

[@roaringthunder115]

Great job

[@aceelle6557]

"Yeah, Takumia is right!! REGICIDE!!!" and thus, the blame Takumi meme never ends and is proved eternal.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

BLAME HIM.

[@roaringthunder115]

TRUTH

[@goldengamingpanda9200]

Hinoka's plot was very intriguing and you gave her a great character.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

always happy to hear! glad you liked it!

[@sleppthememedealer36]

Once again - this was WAY better than the original. I really like the Hinoka and Xander aspect. This was just great!

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

thanks! glad you enjoyed it.

[@darthr0xas363]

This was pretty good. I feel that you could have really shown Mikoto's slow death, rather then just give us one scene, and then just telling us.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

huh. well, keep in mind this is mostly an outline, if this was the actual game it probably would have gotten more attention, but nonetheless it is a good criticism,

[@darthr0xas363]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 Yeah. While I'm at it, I don't really understand why you would make a chapter where you just have Takumi and Oboro, two units you (in your story) haven't even used. Besides story-wise, it's a very bad idea. You lose control of most of your units, the ones you've used and powered up, for literally two (Actually 3, sorry Hinata) units that aren't grind-happy leveled up (which I did do in Birthright/Revelations) you haven't even My Castled the shit out of them to give them ridiculous skills. I am not the only one who does that, right?

[@darthr0xas363]

I rambled a bit there, sorry.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

oh, well, think of it like the chapter with Ephraim, Kyle and Forde in SS.

[@darthr0xas363]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 Hmm, yeah. I guess it's kind of like that. With the exception that it is much later in the story then in SS, and you wouldn't have a character like Orson to tank everything.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Here's a quick explanation for anyone who has this question: i should have said this so, I'm sorry but i was operating under the assumption that Xander figured out Hinoka long before she figured out who he was, what i should have done was have Xander recognize her while fighting Ryoma in chapter 7, while Hinoka was still blissfully ignorant. and the idea with him guiding them was to lure them into a trap, Xander had no idea how large or powerful the group was. additionally, the whole reason Camilla was in Cheve and Leo in the forest was because of Xander.

[@airtempest8945]

This may sound random, but you know how you talked about Fire Emblem being too censored now? I was scrolling through supports in FE 6 and I found the Lugh/Hugh support. Hugh tells Lugh what he thinks about Niime. They don't bother censoring that support. Now we have so censor EVERY word that is remotely inappropriate, other than something meaning death.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Air tempest well, that was FE6, which was never localised, but I do get what you mean.

[@airtempest8945]

The were probably thinking "To hell with the censors! They'll probably never find this anyways.".

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

***** between 9-15 hours of editing.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Several days, about 4 drafts.

[@friendpelle]

Now we just have to wait and see when he fixes Irelevations.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Irevelations OH MY GOD.

[@friendpelle]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You know I am right. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

damn right.

[@lpfan4491]

this is certainly more epic than "garon is evil! we must defeat him" xD

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

[@dracoblackstone5492]

This is definitely an improvement, though I feel that it would benefit from a few things. Firstly, I think the plot would benefit if exactly what the crowns do was made a bit clearer and was more concise. As it is, it isn't too bad, but to a new player it will just seem like the crowns do whatever the plot demands them to, and it makes you wonder why they were even ever crafted at all. Secondly, while I still think the Hinoka/Xander subplot is really nice and humanizing for both of the characters, it still seems like they would have figured out who the other person was after sending letters to each other for all these years, especially when you consider that he knows that Corrin is her sibling and that Corrin was a Hoshidan Prince before he was "adopted". Another question is why he wouldn't try to find some way to return Corrin to Hinoka or something. Hinoka asking him to take care of Corrin is a great idea and would explain why he treats him like a brother, but it does cause a lot of plot holes. I am a little confused as to why Xander would reply to Hinoka and try to guide her toward the capital. Wouldn't he want to avoid having to fight her? It also would seem really suspicious and dangerous to do that, in case she was trying to help the Hoshidans win the war. I also think that it seems odd that as soon as Xander and Hinoka realize who each other were, that they would want to fight. If anything, wouldn't they be more likely to try to negotiate? As for Elise's noble sacrifice, I feel that the fallout of that is good, but how it actually happens could use some work. Jumping in the middle of a fight is literally suicidal in this case. Of course, this was a problem with the main game too. Some miscellaneous other smaller things I would like to mention would be that after seeing Birthright's rewrite: I still think Mikoto would be better off being assassinated by Iago than living for a while longer. Maybe Takumi could find the crown while looking through his mother's stuff to remember her by. Perhaps move Shura's recruitment to Leo's chapter, so he can see a bit more use. Instead of the body being one of Gunter's men, why not make it Gunter? He's been the Jeigan for Corrin in the first few chapters, so it might have more of an emotional impact, and he isn't used later in the plot so it wouldn't really cause a continuity problem. I like the idea that Kataro and Iago working together, but perhaps the subplot could extend for a couple of chapters longer, and could give Kagaro a bit of a moral conflict since it is her dad who is being evil. Xander has top tier taste. Lord of the Rings and D&D? 10/10 Merry Christmas, keep up the good work!

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

hey, lots of good stuff here. i should have said this so, i'm sorry but i was operating under the assumption that Xander figured out Hinoka long before she figured out who he was, what i should have done was have Xander recognize her while fighting Ryoma in chapter 7, while hinoka was still blissfully ignorant. and the idea with him guiding them was to lure them into a trap, Xander had no idea how large or powerful the group was. additionally, the whole reason Camilla was in Cheve and Leo in the forest was because of Xander. who knows how those wound got infected, they weren't in conquest ;-) yeah that would work. hiring Shura a bit earlier. great idea. also, yeah, maybe we could rematch Kotaro a few times, perhaps as the boss of the opera house or during the siege? Merry Christmas to you too man!

[@dracoblackstone5492]

I see, that makes a lot more sense, since Xander does have a lot more evidence that she is the Hoshidan Princess, whereas Hinoka really only knows she met some guy names Marx. It still does kind of of contradict his sparing her in Conquest, but all of this makes it all make a lot more sense. I see. Mikoto might play a role in Revelation, then. Keep up the good work, these videos are really fun to watch. I'd totally play a rom-hack rewrite of these games if they used this story. :P

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

well his paring her in conquest is a reveal, again as a plot out line that can be fixed with like 2 lines of text. and TBH, i ddn't know how far i would take the twist or how well it would have been received at that time. and well, people managed to text mod an English patch into the Japanese version of fates, with conquest at these the chapters are enough of the same that it could work.

[@maddoxbellrose7679]

And why didnt the crown posess takumi this time

[@olivialeger3647]

omg this was so good. You really need to work at Nintendo someday. That thing about Hinoka and the bakery window, GREAT STUFF!!

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

glad you liked it man!

[@Hyder_B]

I also loved this, and maybe I'll write my own? This was not perfect, but one aspect that I liked was Mikoto not dying immediately, and Ryoma killing Iago.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Hyder Baig nothing's ever perfect. I encourage you to write your own!

[@Hyder_B]

Wow you replied quickly! Thanks, and also you wrote this better than Nintendo did! I'm not dissing Fates tho, because I love those games!

[@Hyder_B]

Not to mention, they were hilarious with your dialogues and the cutscene ideas were cool!

[@BLAZINGKNIGHT50]

Great job as always dude you made this version of birthright much more interesting. Loved the Hinoka subplot and that the secondary units got more to do in the story, plus the moment with dead Nohrian's was great. Some parts felt kind of out of left field, like Camilla joining Hoshido or Mikoto's death just kind of happening all of a sudden, but aside from that I thoroughly enjoyed it. Have a great day dude, and Merry Christmas too! :)

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

thanks man glad you liked it! Merry Christmas to you too Crash!

[@anthero3746]

Just as I expected this rewrite is another home run. I especially love the flashback scene between young Hinoka and young Xander and the promise Xander makes to young Corrin, 7:26-8:54. The flashback scene IMO was great overall.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

thanks man! definitely the part of the video I was most iffy about, i'm happy with how it turned out as well!

[@anthero3746]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 I'm happy to say your effort paid off quite nicely Zerk! The Revelation RW is gonna be awesome, I just know it.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

haha! well i'm glad you're looking forwards too it!

[@alstoyle]

I have to agree with asura, the opinion of "people die when theyre killed" isnt a very popular one.

[@Richet412]

Excellent job as usual! (Even though Camilla seemed to have vanished after her recruitment in this rewrite.) Regardless, how long does it take for you to complete the final draft of these stories?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

oh, Camilla didn't disappear, she was part of Xander's character turn when they fought him. I just didn't put her on screen... for some reason idk.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

oh and i forgot to answer your second question. i've been editing this script since end of november. i recorded this on the 19th and i've been editing for about 3 hours each day afterwards. custom storyboarding is difficult.

[@Richet412]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 Understandable given your rules

[@henrygutierrez3243]

"My father died the night Azura performed." A powerful line, but I'd work some things differently. For one, I'd put some more dirt on Hoshido for the war. For example, Queen Arete could've been assassinated by the Hoshidans in a plot that was meant for Garon instead of having her killed by some stupid curse. In retaliation, Garon kidnapped Corrin. Xander remarks that after Arete's death, Garon was never again quite the same, so it fits. It would also explain his hate for the Hoshidans. Azura's kidnapping would only be more salt in the wound. Corrin would be raised far off in some fortress knowing he is a prisoner, but he'd have the treatment Azura had, that of an equal. Conversely, Azura could've been the one with harsh people detaining her. Garon reveals himself not to be a heartless monster, just a broken man as the campaign goes on. His kingdom would be ruled by regents who use him as a puppet for their own personal gain. Then the Nohrian siblings would at least have a reason for turning on their own father. I dunno, something to think about.

[@sebastianfranasovic7005]

I really liked this video, the entire plot feels more solid and I love the pacing that you gave to the story! I would like to see more stuff like this, but related to invididual units who lack of enough support conversations to have a personality.

[@EnderWarlock]

This was really cool to watch, if only fates was written like this...although I always felt Garon would have been cool to see as keeping his conquered attitude (maybe due to him conquering other small countries to expand Nohr when he was younger) but having him be a good father to his children maybe even protecting Corrin from Nohrians who may know of his Hoshidian birth that way he would have some character and may have made it slightly more upsetting for the player to kill him but I guess you did that with Mikioto (Queen of Hoshido).

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

huh. well, i did something similar to what you're saying here in the conquest rewrite, glad you liked the video man!

[@definitelynotshanque]

This makes me want to do a re-write of my own

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Definitely Not Shanque go for it then!

[@Pit_Icarus]

I love the dialogue you give the characters.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

so do i, glad you enjoyed.

[@Aster_Iris]

I saw that TotA reference, there! What a coincidence, since I'm actually going as Tear to a convention (well, the Cool Chick alternate costume to be exact: her default outfit looks way too difficult for someone of my experience to make (plus, that alt is really stylish)).

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Abyss is so good. I wish I could play it though... I sold my PS2 a couple years back and I really regret it now...

[@Aster_Iris]

Well, there's always the 3DS port, and it even fixed most of the glitches! ...Except for Roomba Guard, but that one's not game-breaking. Plus, it's just too funny to leave out.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Oh ok. I've been trying to track that down for months now

[@Greatwolf615]

I really love your rewrites man it's some amazing work, how would you rewrite Corrin and Azura as characters because tbh they don't have much to do in these rewrites. Unless your saving that for the revelation rewrite?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Greatwolf615 good guess man. Azura will definitely get a chance to shine in Rev, and I decided to make Corrin less of the stories driving force, and more of a spectator, hence his lesser involvement.

[@kingsaul754]

"I'm your brother now" and "Marx" don't think you fooled me on those ones.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

There's a reason it's Called flavor text. It's pretty arbitrary, my words are the focus, the storyboards are just my way of pumping out 10 memes/minute. But nonetheless I hope you enjoyed the video otherwise.

[@dapp3rman378]

For the next FE game, I'd like a remake of an older game. That way, the story won't be massively bad and there won't be a children system shoehorned in (unless it's a remake of FE4).

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

or, well, you know they could butcher everything that made the old one great. I've always been wary of them remaking an older game, but it's mostly on a case-by-case of which game is being remade. for example, i'd be less concerned about a remake of FE6, than i would FE4, with Nintendo's current attitude, if FE4 was remade,, they'd add a pointless self-insert character and force them into the story, completely neuter all of FE4's incest, war mongering, cult symbolism etc. just for the sake of being "family friendly," they'd turn many of the minor characters into anime tropes, several characters would be redesigned to look like awakening characters, they'd remove weapon durability, probably have Sigurd and everybody survive, and add time travel. still want that FE4 remake? IS is treading some deep water here, they NEED to listen to their fans. because if the next game disappoints the veterans as much as fates, and shamelessly panders awakenings much as fates. FE15 might sell fine. but i doubt anybody with half a brain would buy FE16 unless it was a remake.

[@notaripspiderman]

Y’all predicted this so hard

[@shalomantony]

@@ZerkMonsterHunter hey I'm from the future, FE16 did very well and as a fan of the older games, it was pretty darn good. It felt unfinished and very rushed on some routes, but still had some amazing themes and mature moments :)

[@edwardramos4591]

I wonder if Owain, Inigo, and Severa will actually gain importance in the Revelations rewrite. (Assuming you actually included them)

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Edward Ramos well, yes and no, Laslow got a mention in conquest. I'm currently on the fence about increasing their importance in the story. the script isn't finalized yet, so it's still up in the air

[@manuelcamara6400]

Wait hold on a sec! *grabs popcorn* Ok now begin.

[@madamehoefyre1808]

Aww this is great!! But if there was something I could fix it'd probably be Mozu's paralogue and or character arch. Because her joining the team in Conquest seemed a bit off to me since the Faceless that killed her mother originated from Nohr, (I know Nohr isn't really responsible for the faceless anymore because they have free will, but Mozu doesn't necessarily know that. She would be more of the ignorant villager type) she should have been more skeptical in fighting for Nohr since the avatar did save her and she has nowhere else to go to, this would create an inner conflict inside her if fighting for Nohr would be a good thing, considering that their acts of war (creating the faceless) ultimately ended her old life and such which would be further elaborated in her support with Corrin. In Birthright the whole faceless idea should have been scrapped and instead, the Nohrian Army enters her village and destroys it, killing her mother. It would have given her a reason to join the Hoshidan Army if only fueld by revenge and hate for the Nohrians. In this version she acts less like a victim and instead showcases the inner hatred of Nohr that most Hoshidans (Oboro and company) have for Nohr. Mozu would act like a symbol of how the citizens of Hoshido feel. As for Revelations, I'd settle for Vallites attacking her village but in this version her mother doesn't die and Mozu offers to join the avatars army for saving her mother and her village. Her character remains largely the same as in the main game. There may be a few quirks and errors I could fix but I just really love Mozu as a character, and I wish she had a much larger role in the game, if only to be the symbol of a certain theme in all versions if we play just her paralogue.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

that's a very good idea actually, I think I want to go and do 2 bonus episodes, one fixing the paralogues and hidden truths, and another going over what, had my games been made, we would have gotten instead of Hiers of Fate. but i really like what you have going on here, when that bonus vid comes around do mind if I use this? I'll be sure to credit you in the video.

[@madamehoefyre1808]

Yes of course go ahead! I can't wait to see it! I wish you luck!

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

thanks dude!

[@roaringthunder115]

My parents are dead. Am I Batman yet? -Azura

[@D.Dragon]

Most of these changes were fine, but I don't really see a point in removing the Intruders. Garon obviously knew about the Intruders origin, and by extension, Hans and Iago, so the Intruders could be kept.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

the problem i have with the intruders is that they seem really forced, especially in birthright and conquest. i can stand their existence in REV, but they just seem like, well, chapter fodder. they're just throwaway units and opponents that have no rhyme or reason to be there unless it's revelation. I have some plans for them when in regards to revelations but I'm keeping them out of both birthright and conquest so that unlike actual fates, the story doesn't lose focus. the intruders don't create intrigue, they create plotholes.

[@D.Dragon]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 I get that problem, and I partially have that problem as well. I don't dislike them in the chapters where other FE games would use a bandit group, a mercenary group or it's own villain group.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

well, this is why one of my favorite rewrite additions are the red hounds, as Iago's private army and a mercenary group, they can fill in those kind of chapters WHILE being important to a major villain AND giving motivation to Corrin, (Since they were the ones who attacked his mother in my universe)

[@D.Dragon]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 I don't think making Iago more evil is necessary, and Anankos definitely does need some out of DLC story purpose. But giving Corrin any sort of development or purpose is necessary.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

oh don't you worry my friend. Revelation is going to be fun!

[@kingdyste5289]

Ah, looking forward to this one. I do agree that Birthright isn't very exciting storywise, and that coupled with the weaker chapter design and in general my preference for the Nohrian cast makes me feel it's the weakest of the three routes overall. I think my favourite thing you've done throughout this is giving more relevance to Hinoka. Its pretty evident in the main game that she wasn't originally intended to be one of the royal siblings, with her main focus points being when she's a boss in Conquest over anything she does in Birthright or Revelation. Here, she feels like an actual main character.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

glad you liked it! and yeah, making Hinoka relevant was pretty fun, overall, she has one of my favourite character designs in fates. shame she has such a minor role relative to the other royals.

[@shinelokabrenna]

Scarlet and Ryoma... SHOULD BE A DAMN THING NINTENDO

[@sunsetstar4101]

holy crap, this was super good my dude!!

[@zeitgeist986]

"Skip chapter 4, cause chapter four is dumb." Burst out laughing.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

You're welcome.

[@daedalusflights1337]

The "normian army". Quite the Engrish you pulled there.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

it's an army of normies, duh.

[@Yunglex313]

Well your change to Kagero and Orochi's back stories are kind of unnecessary. Orochi, and Reina would have been a much better characters had we had actually had we have seen them interacting with Mikoto.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

ok. i can see how that might work, still stand by my original decision though.

[@aegishield2836]

Great job on the video. Seriously amazing work, you are way to small of a channel for how good your quality is.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

thanks a bunch dude!

[@demi-fiendoftime3825]

Only thing I would change is the final battle after the demon form collapses into a puddle of goo the dark dragon Garon became in the actual version of Birthright rises from it claiming to be both Anarcos and Garon and Nocks Corrin out cold similar to what I suggested for the Conquest path Corrin wakes up in an Abyss only this one is Black and Purple with Black Roses every where there he learns from Garon's spirit the truth of what happened when his father was killed and he was kidnapped 10 years ago, as an attempt to make peace between the two nations very early on in his career he sent Sumiaragi as a gift the dusk crown not knowing the dangerous consequences of bringing the two close to one another result in Sumiaragi becoming a bloodthirsty and paranoid man, he and also Corrin's mother disguised as Sumiaragi went to the rainbow sage for advice learning of what danger the crowns poses the two were eventually able to remove the dawn crowd from him and lock it away while Garon kept the dusk crown on his person at all times to keep it safe unfortunately despite the removal of the crown Sumiaragi even with the use of a special song the Rainbow Sage taught Makoto he continued to deteriorate resulting in the many fights between the two Kings wishing for both kingdoms to end their pointless conflicts that especially harmed Noir due to a lack of sunlight, he worked with even scum like Iago for the soul purpose of ending the slowly falling into madness Sumiaragi ending in the events where Corrin was taken by Noir 10 years ago and finshes his tale with saying I ask not for your forgiveness nor mercy but I ask of you as prince of both Hoshido and Noir to please destroy the monster I have become and after that get rid of both of those accursed crowns that have caused both our kingdoms so much suffering for so long Xander holds out his blade and says take it It's yours now. Sigfreid shines and Corrin wakes up and everyone is worried because the yato is doing nothing to Dragon Garon it's then Corrin yells out for Xander and Elise to lend him their strength and then Sigfreid flies toward him he crosses the greatsword with the Yato and its purple glow turns into a bright white light and the dragon exclaims you would betray me too Xander? Do none of my children know loyalty? Corrin would respond you are not our father you monster and in his, my sister and my brother's memory I shall fulfill my brother's dieing wish and remove you from the throne you stole from the true king of Noir ! Cue final boss

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

I'm surprised you wrote that using only 3 sentences. Periods help. But man you seem to be attached to that abyss idea, as I said before, I'm not overly a fan of how it was in the base game, but you offer some interesting insight here, this was fun to read, even with the grammar errors.

[@demi-fiendoftime3825]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 That's my problem in general I have many great ideas but horrible spelling and writing makeing them hard to share-_- as for the abyss type design it bothered me that the spirt worlds were just reflections of locations Corrin had previously been to and the fact that it's not the afterlife so he isn't dead so it should be more like a strange metaphysical border between the two that I think should reflect the opposite land, the Red, White and Cherry blossoms are Hoshido' s symbols representing the ones talking to him, vice versa Black , Purple and Black Roses are Noir's symbols and that would once again reflect those he is taking to but after the whole story bit in your fixing Revelations bit my opinion is that it be short and sweet unlike the previous two that had everyone you lost cheering you on this time Corrin would awake in his dream this time in the sky only water lotus seam to be raining from the sky, Corrin then spots the Rainbow Sage and behind him the Clestial Dragon Moro and the two explain that they had long suspected Valla had desired anarkos's power for his own and so they left behind a hidden power in the fire emblem tied to the First Dragons as their power United could slay Anarkos for good as Anarkos himself was the 13th a traitor to his fellow gods who unlike the others who ruled over a different tribe or kingdom, he wished only to destroy as he hated the noise life brought resulting in his title of the silent dragon, Moro laments that his hesitation to kill his brother twice over and instead sealing him in the earth only to burst out and create the great canyon and later the events corrin is now dealing with and asks Corrin to put an end to his greatest mistake as Moro finally reveals to us and Corrin what a fire emblem truly is, it is a pact created between one who is of the blood of dragons the other who is of the blood of men and the goal being to unite their power twords a comon goal. The Yato is the pact between the Rainbow Sage and Moro who tell Corrin that he must fully awaken their Fire Emblem to defeat Valla and to do that one of Valla's blood must sing the song that was used long ago to weaken Anarkos as its very words slice away at madness Corrin understanding. Turns to leave seeing his mother awaiting him as she guides him back to the world of the living she says goodbye, he asks Azura imideatly to take the yato and start singing her song not seeing how it would help she does it begrudgingly as Corrin transforns into his dragon form and soon his dragon form begins to change becoming just as masive a Dragon as Valla- Anarkos and capturing the other dragon in bind tells them they must destroy Valla's spirit and the so called hero appears saying he would like to see you try, So for this final battle you would take control of Azura welding the Yato while your army fights Valla and his army of spirit solders which would be masive to take advantage of the number of units you have in Revaluation on top of Dragon Corrin and Valla. And this would be one hell of a fight as he would even have copies of the dead kings and queens of both kingdoms and multiple Manatike units as well but also as an added challenge in clasic mode any one you lost in previous battles would be one of his phantom wariors! This would be a very challenging fight and also in my opinion with the story changes you made to alow Azura to come into her own, I could see the final blow being completely animated where without Valla to control the body Anarkos goes completely mad and each of the legendary wepion welders does what they can to take the beast down, Takumi useing his bow to take out the wings, Leo tieing him down , Xander and Ryoma pining Anarkos's claws down with their blades and then together Corrin and Azura charge at the monster's heart destroying him just as you described but also the Yato with it's purpose fully fufiled with Anarkos's true and final death besides that I have nothing to add.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Demi-Fiend of Time hmmm. interesting idea, I do, of course prefer my version but this offers an interesting expansion.

[@glitchwarrior7270]

Very good rewrite of the story! A bunch of characters weren't mentioned, but that's because they aren't quite the most integral plot points- Kaden and Reina are minor characters in the grand scheme of things, and to be honest, they're good units but not plot-important.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

glad you enjoyed!

[@caspianbchalphy]

Like it, although I do have a few things that are not explained to me (if you did in either one I must have missed it). Is Corrin still able to become a dragon and how does that play into the story?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

yes, Corrin can still become a dragon, for now, brush it off as a hefty amount of dragon blood, but in the revelations rewrite, all regarding that will be explained.

[@caspianbchalphy]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 ok I admit I still like the concept of Corrin being the son of Ankanos (I'm not going to worry about spelling). Only thing is that it could obviously have been done better. I'm a writer and working on a book so my mind comes up with interesting ideas

[@edwardramos4591]

12:31 So... after killing Elise, Xander decides that his new role as grave keeper takes precedence and fights Hinoka anyways? I guess there some things you can't change.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Edward Ramos touche.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Edward Ramos I imagine he'd moreso submit, and I thought he took the role of gravekeeper before killing his sister.

[@edwardramos4591]

Oops. I sort of figured that he took that role before killing Elise. I was actually under the impression that this Xander chapter played out similarly to the Xander chapter from the original Birthright. (ie: Xander committing Suicide by Cop with Corrin's role being replaced by Hinoka)

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Either way, did you enjoy the rest of the video?

[@edwardramos4591]

Eeyup, it was nice to see my favorite Hoshidan royal get more relevance compared to the original.

[@Jotari]

Not sure you really add anything by keeping Xander alive. His suicide was probably the best bit of the original story.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Huh? Ryoma commited seppuku in Conquest, Xander just died. Both in my version and the canon birthright.

[@Jotari]

He threw the battle against Corrin and let himself get killed. That's why his battle was so pathetically easy in terms of gameplay despite Corrin being unable to touch him in the prior cutscene. Corrin was pissed and Xander had basically given up despite his bravado. It doesn't go by unnoticed as Corrin in the proceeding dialogue and Xander admits he did the one thing he was also warning Corrin against and let his emotion rule him. Might not be as visually evident as Ryoma's seppuku but it was still most definitely an act of self slaughter resulting from the accidental murder of his sister. Regarding your video the dialogue confused me. "Corrin and HInoka remain to knock some sense into him" implies more they converted him rather than killed him. "When questioned about his loyalty he says my father died etc etc raid his tomb." That sounds a lot more like an indication of rebellion rather loyalty. If he admits Garon is dead then why would he be loyal? True you then do expressly mention him dying but I suppose at that point my mind was already racing as I considered it a bad decision to keep him alive that I just didn't pay enough attention.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

K. I guess you could make that observation.

[@mauvedragontiddies9244]

3:58 AWAKEN MY MASTERS!

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

AYAYAYAYAY.

[@mauvedragontiddies9244]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 WAMMU!

[@mauvedragontiddies9244]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 Wammu's Divine Sandstorm was more powerful than his, so they abandoned him like Santana. And they didn't like his hair style ... which is non-existant.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

I agree. The only thing he has left is his Swole AF bod.

[@1japanfan883]

Another Job well done. The only part that is iffy is the implied Xander x Hinoka shipping.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

glad you enjoyed, and don't worry the Xander X Hinoka will be toned down for revalations, i have yet to give one of the Royals her own due time as of these two rewrites.

[@edwardramos4591]

I assume that bit with Gunter's knights was also a play on how stupidly powerful Ryoma is?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Edward Ramos yep.

[@mouselord4167]

This is a MUCH better plot.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

glad you liked the video.

[@Garmagic2yFhenrakh9]

5:59 I'm asking myself the same question. I love you more than Camilla, tho

[@strikerdx2]

Why did Xander die, again?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

because Corrin stabbed him?

[@strikerdx2]

Well i guess i missed that part. It's like Xander killed Elise and "Oh, dang it" and die, lol =p

[@jaredkhan8743]

Jesus Christ this would've been 50 times better than generic invade bad guy country cuz possessed guy killed mom with a magic sword

[@lorddragonskin3603]

10:25 The idea of adventurers instead of Faceless isn't bad. But this just increased the difficulty of this level a lot. Hope you didn't remove grinding on your version of fates then...

[@yes7281]

My name is Ryouma, you killed my father, prepare to die.

[@thewerdna]

One question: can Corrin still turn into a dragon, or has that been dropped? Mainly wondering since if the former I am really interested if/how you plan to tie it into the story for Revelations

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

yes corrin can still turn into a dragon, for now, brush it off as him having an excessive amount of dragon blood, but there is a reason as to why he can do it. and it isn't the same one as the games have, if you want to wait until i make the Revelations rewrite i'm fine with that, but i have outlined the script enough to answer your question....

[@thewerdna]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 I will definitely wait for your proper rewrite video comes out to hear the answer. But yeah, I sorta figured you were going to be dropping the whole "Corrin's dad is the good half of Anankos" thing. Since that plotpointt it was not only unnecessary but also being only revealed in DLC make it utterly dumb. Like, my god, if Fates was going to go that route the least they could do was have it brought up in Revelations. But no, instead we have a DLC going "No wait, see. Corrin is actually a half dragon demi-god on top of being the jesus of this world. Isn't he/she cool and awesome, and basically every single deviantArt OC ever made? Please like him/her!"

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

corrin is like every deviant art OC ever made, I"M DYING.

[@thewerdna]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 Glad you liked my comparison there. I was super proud of myself when I made the connection that "holy crap, Corrin is an deviantArt OC, except he's a canon character!" a few months ago, lol.

[@edwardsheerin5244]

ahhhhhh gonna be fun to watch :]

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

hope you like it!

[@timothywashburn8218]

A great story so far, but the like because Ryoma and Scarlett have a support. Having now finished both videos, I like this rewrite better. Probably because I like this to be straightforward.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

hmm, well glad you enjoyed it man!

[@blitz4779]

me before watching - this gonna be good

[@blitz4779]

me after watching it - freaking glorious man, if birthright had half of the things you suggested, it would have been so much better. great video man, can't wait for the revelations rewrite, also shots fired at revelations story. keep up the great work bro

[@blitz4779]

also nice job with the text, it was really good

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Thanks Jack! really happy you enjoyed it. I too, wish this was the actual birthright.

[@blitz4779]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 well you never know Zerk, Nintendo might actually start listening to the fans, am I right? Right? I'm probably being to hopeful, but a guy can dream. Also holy shit you called me by my name, a good youtuber recognized me, my life is now complete, lol.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

we can only dream my friend, we can only dream....

[@555redkid]

The little banter that goes on in this video is pretty funny. Also, this is just my opinion but I'm in no way criticizing or knocking at your work, I actually like that you're doing a custom Fates plot through your eyes, but I think Fates was dumbed down plot wise to try to get more players into the series a bit more, your story seems like it'd be a little complicated to a point where a lot of players would get confused or not really care about what's going on during certain parts of the story. Since back when I first got this game I was still fairy new to the series and I figured I'd have a tough time progressing through the story and I only had a tiny bit of trouble figuring the plot out, but it wasn't really confusing to begin with. As I said before, since I was still kind of new to the series back then I feel like I'd get confused with your story, but I'm sure it's hard to picture a plot by listening to it verses actually experiencing it. Overall, I did like this rewrite and Conquest's too, I can't wait to see what you do with Revelation...

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

hey no problem man i like constructive feedback like this. my main goal with this series actually ties in a bit to what you were saying here, in my mind, fates feels like the original draft was much more in-depth and complex, but was dumbed down due to time constraints, and this is a "what if they actually did X" kida scenario.

[@555redkid]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 It's nice to know some people agree. I'm sure the developers wanted more to it but like we both said probably didn't have time, like how Candace and Nichol were supposed to part of the story but apparently got cut as major characters and put in as a recruitable prisoners last minute instead. Those 2 even have animations when doing a critical hit but no quote. Also, it is said that Nichol has a confession, maybe these two would have been avatar exclusive supports. I also would have liked it if the amiibo characters you can recruit have support conversations as well, you just couldn't marry them or something like that, and lastly I did kind of wish they changed around certain parts of the story...

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

I certainly agree. that part about Candace and Nichol, i wasn't aware of that, thanks for filling me in.

[@555redkid]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 Yeah, characters like them were planned for development but I think got cut last minute. Nichol was the boss in Sophie's paralogue and Candace was in Midori's the only way to recruit them is to capture them in those chapters, a few characters like them appear through some of the kids paralogues...

[@roaringthunder115]

This was amazing good job

[@stunned_iroiki]

The main problem I have with bright right is, none of them are your actual blood siblings.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

they are in my version, oh i neglected to mention that. oh well.

[@stygistudio8100]

Glad to see that flora is still hot in this

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Firestormy 21 🔥

[@8elementallords]

Only character in Fire Emblem hotter than Flora is Sigurd ;P

[@engels304]

Wow. Your story is so much better

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

thanks man!

[@maxgosselin6634]

I love all of the support in this channel

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

thanks max!

[@maxgosselin6634]

It's well deserved

[@CoffeeEmblem]

"Have at 'em Fuga, you pillar man reject" ded

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

PsyKaDelic I mean... he's swole AF and posing in his portrait... how could I resist.

[@CoffeeEmblem]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 yup can't blame ya

[@_Executor_]

3:27 People die when they get killed.

[@aceelle6557]

(second comment sorry bout that) I have a few questions: 1) When Camilla joins, is it permanent and can characters support her? Or would she be more like and NPC? Same question goes for Leo in the final chapter you described -if you've even thought about this- 2) I didn't quite catch if the rebels in Cheve were rebelling against Hoshidans or the Nohrians? I'm assuming the Nohrians but I get confused really easily ^^;;

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

no trouble. i love answering comments. i never got the "one comment per user thing" unless it's spam. anyways, to answer your first question, yes Camilla can support, but she wouldn't exactly have many options outside Ryoma, Hinoka, Takumi and Corrin. and the rebels are rebelling against Iago, he's the Duke of Cheve in my version.

[@nova338]

Wow, this was actually really cool!

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Garo Briggs Glad you liked it man!

[@timothywashburn8218]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 what did you think of Anankos's dragon Alzheimer's and do you think you'll keep it in the rewrite of revelation?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

don't like it and nope, that's gone. take anything you know about Revelations and throw it out the window for my rewrite. *moves closer to mic* january 2017

[@goldenlotus3598]

WHY ARE THEY BLOOD RELATED I DONT WANT TO MARRY MY BIOLOGICAL BROTHER YOU CAN STILL HAVE CORRIN AND MIKOTO BE THEIR STEP FAMILY WITHOUT ALTERING YOUR STORY!! And Kagero can still be Ryoma's retainer but I guess Kaze is here

[@Salve-ager]

I like this rewrite! Definitely better then fates (granted you could slam a hammer on a keyboard blindfolded and write something better)

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

SalveoftheScreen definitely agreed. glad you liked the video!

[@Shirley4Vaga]

is this version playable somehow?

[@Percival917]

Actually, the faceless should be there, to except a lot more interesting to fight, with many types like the terrors and SS monsters. Complete with their own types with their own places on the weapon triangle.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Percival917 my issue with them is that they're disposable and wether or not they're even interesting to fight they serve no purpose to the story that regular human opponents couldn't fill.

[@Percival917]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 I was thinking that could be fixed in the rewrites, but OK.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Percival917 I had enough that I had to address with these rewrites that I felt adding more would just overwhelm me. at which point I'd be making the same mistake as Fates writing team by trying to do too much at once.

[@noble8696]

good job zero I like this rewrite of the story

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

MakotoNanaya ゲイ毛むくじゃらカッパ glad you enjoyed it!

[@alfzepo9976]

This is gonna be great

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

[@espemonplays7801]

will you ever change the dlc story of heirs of fate it would be interesting to see how you change it

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

why would i need to change something that shouldn't exsist? i don't like the fates kids...

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

but if I was to change it, i'd have to play it first, i'm WAAAY behind on my fates DLC.

[@espemonplays7801]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 Oh ok

[@espemonplays7801]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 I just feel like heirs of fate should of been a after story for the kids instead of them joining corrins army

[@Marxamune]

If anyone watching this is a creator of fan-made FE games, you should be taking notes.

[@ferintown6628]

Only problem I had was how Xander died Like he should have died some other way, he certainly can’t live, maybe he would die via taking a hit for Corrin from Garon and telling Hinoka, “I kept my promise” Also Camilla joins you as a party member?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

man, amazed I still get comments on these videos lmao. I definitely think your suggestions for how Xander died would fit with the narrative that you crafted here. Camilla does join you, I think of the Nohr siblings she's the most likely to do so, especially given what's actually going on in the background, and how relatively easy the revelations ending is actually able to sort itself out in both the base game and in my later rewrite; more cross pollination of units just seemed to make sense.

[@StuffedAnimalAdvisor]

What's regicide? Feels like this version is now more tragic and dramatic. Seems like more people survived in nor, but this one had a better outcome with both kingdoms instead of nor being the only one ahead .

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

regicide is the act of killing a reigning monarch (assassinating the king)

[@emastercool500]

they were a few problems, but i think if you had more time, it could of been better. can i ask that you take some more time on relevations so it canbe better, just to stop any plot holes. anywho, good job on this, i really enjoyed it.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

oh don't worry, i'll be taking my time with revelations all right, I'm building that one from the ground up after all. and if you have any questions about this one, I pinned a comment on this video made by someone else, where i go through his myriad of questions, give that one a look, it should clear up any confusion!

[@robototron803]

Do Revelation. That'd be interesting to see.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

TheOrangeRobo soon.

[@robototron803]

Yay!

[@GryffonL]

I like the part with the cave men champions the best.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

heh, probably my favorite part to edit as well, i drew all of the assets myself.

[@GryffonL]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 yeah they look kinda cool actually

[@Debinhamineira31]

What game is this I don't remember I ago killing suneragi or anything like that

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

antonio Machado it's called a rewrite for a reason.

[@davendixon32323]

Pretty good shit. Looking forward to what you do with the steaming pile of shit known as Revelations.

[@matthewcoyle4131]

*Raijin-Uchigatana*

[@shyguyshyster1666]

In Birthright, I thought it was obvious that it was leading up to Takumi going into a feral dragon rage. Remember that stupid chapter when you fight Iago again? Well... (It's chapter 25) I hate the stupid cutscene that comes at the start of that chapter, and well... previously, in the Ninja chapter of Birthright, you see Takumi, and he's acting very inhumanlike, and it took Azura to SING for him to bring him to his senses... JUST LIKE CORRIN AT THE START OF THE GAME. I just... thought it was so damn obvious Takumi was gonna go super saiyan. It would been a big character development step. Since he wants to be noticed, this makes him the one thing Corrin's group can't ignore. In my opinion, Iago and Hans would be mini bosses, and Takumi would be a Feral Dragon, like Corrin (except maybe a different design) as the main boss. I dunno. How about you? Would you approve this idea? This would be a huge improvement over the stupid "friendship is magical" cutscene that had no reason to exist. Maybe instead of Takumi holding Azura hostage, it's Takumi going mad over Iago holding Azura hostage, and then... yeah.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

i suppose it could work out, have you by any chance watched my video on conquest?

[@shyguyshyster1666]

I had just been finishing wathcing it! Will watch your Revelation one too! :D

[@PCveteran117]

You going to fix Warriors or Echoes?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

echoes is fine, warriors is beyond help with the roster as is.

[@KrystalPaigeSky]

Just watched both of your rewrite videos. I honestly can't believe that you gave me hope for Fates! I was so disappointed with the game when I finished it 100%. You adding in the background lore with Anankos and the dragons and the heroes changed everything! I love it! I have a small question though. Why not make the Valla hero a woman? Would that make it that Azura is the descendant too obvious? The phrasing of "wow you look just like my brother if he were a girl" seems a little... odd, to me. I think that the Rainbow Sage instead mistaking Azura for his sibling would make for some interesting dialogue. "It's been so long, dear sister, yet you still look so youthful..." yadda yadda yadda. I also wonder what happens to Azura at the end of your versions. In both Hoshido and Nohr, she is pretty much dead at the end because of using the forbidden magic of the Valla song. Would it be the same? I really respect the work that you've put into this! I myself have tried to think of what I would do to make Fates better, and the first choice is almost always cutting out Corrin and making Azura the main character (also, cutting out baby realms lol). So congrats on making yourself keep Corrin in!

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

KrystalPaigeSky hey thanks! glad you enjoyed. and well. that line with the rainbow sage was more of a joke. the on screen stuff is just flavor text. I haven't watched the conquest video in a while, but if I said it out loud take it more as "I haven't seen someone who bears such a resemblance to my brother's family, had you not been so young, I'd mistake you for his direct daughter" or something to that effect. either way, glad you enjoyed these videos. Revelation will be coming soon.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

oh, and at the end of birthright, Azura survives, but in conquest I state she went on a vision quest to the bottomless Canyon to learn more about her ancestor.

[@alfzepo9976]

The new story is not like birthrights That makes the story great

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

indeed it does alf.

[@alfzepo9976]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 the drugged mikoto and the lord of the rings joke

[@grottosstuff]

It could have been... If only...

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

this is why I'm here.

[@jacobtuell3157]

You best do Revelations please.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

soon....ish

[@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec]

Could you please remake revelation?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

I already did.

[@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec]

Could you please show me the link?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Khanh Nguyen check my channel page there's a playlist there called "Fixing Fates"

[@KhanhNguyen-mh5ec]

Thank you

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Khanh Nguyen no problem, I hope you enjoy it.

[@bluemelxdy6610]

WHY DID U MAKE ELISE DIE THO

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

HeyItsKity it's the one moment I actually liked.

[@_Executor_]

Do you know Gen Urobuchi?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Executor no I'm not familiar with that.

[@alfzepo9976]

This was hilarious it was amazing

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

thanks dude!

[@grimzby6983]

What's wrong with Corrin? I'm not being a jackass I'm being genuinely curious.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

what's wrong with corrin. MANY things. if you're genuinely curios, there's two videos i recommend you watch on the subject: firstly, BlazingKnight's "have awakening and fates ruined fire emblem?" and my video "the problem with modern fire emblem (mostly fates)" between those two you should get a pretty good idea as to why he's the worst part of fates.

[@Ajia_No_Envy]

This is great I really wish you can release a hack for the game

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Christopher Graham I've toyed with the idea

[@okakim7200]

you should submit that

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Oka Montgomery where to?

[@okakim7200]

ZerkMonsterHunter 4 intelligent systems. their first project was for fun, they're not a huge company. I'm sure they'll take your advice

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

Oka Montgomery I've certainly considered it man. who knows, maybe one of them is listening to me.

[@alternativ116]

Great job lad

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

thanks!

[@osvaldoalcala9151]

Is that really the continents name?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

nope, the writers never bothered to name it so I did it myself

[@playaskirbyandwin267]

Glad to know flora would still be hot ;)

[@blakerenimu9033]

10:09 YES!!!!!!

[@bubbles46853-ep9if]

So, Elise survives this time?

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

bubblesishot46853 nah bro, she dead, sorry if I wasn't clear on that, just the clip I used.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

bubblesishot46853 god I hope you are kidding, because your feelings are exactly what makes Elise's death an effective story element.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

bubblesishot46853 it's still an effective plot device, this is exactly why I kept it. to piss off the overly attached. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as rude, I hope I'm not. but, it's pretty clear to me you're relatively new to fire emblem.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

bubblesishot46853 well, compared to something like Lyon in Ephraim's route in FE8, Elise is a small price to pay. and again, it's still effective, and it is my rewrite, you don't have to agree with it completely. that's the beauty of rewrites, anyone can craft whatever.

[@ZerkMonsterHunter]

bubblesishot46853 I identify with Lyon.... his death was set up way better... I find him more tragic, and his death couldn't be avoided... it was a matter of time.... that's almost the best possible way to kill a character.... make their fate seem unavoidable. this is why killing Flora and Lilith feel like cheap tear tactics, and makes Elise and Xander's deaths effective, you knew a few of the Nohr Royals were going to bite the dust....