FNAF: SB REWRITTEN - CH 16 (AO3 WRITTEN VERSION AVAILABLE!)

Link to written version: archiveofourown.org/works/454...

[@kiwiqueen138]

Most of this chapter was dedicated to getting an idea of how Roxy‘s mind works. It’s honestly exhausting to be in her head, she overthinks everything and somehow manages to be cripplingly insecure and egotistical at the same time lmao Link to written version: archiveofourown.org/works/45445291?view_full_work=true Link to next episode: kzbin.info/www/bejne/l6PGm6Jpo5iVpaM Link to previous episode: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bIKwcqVvecSpp7M Link to full playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLKMzqZUiHWUjzZj0jfJym1CTORp4rdEDD

[@TragicJade]

Wow

[@PixelPower0615]

NO ROXY!!! These guys deserve so much better than Fazbear Entertainment, please let these guys have a better life after this series...

[@NARUTOADSAGE]

My favorite part of this series is how much passion and heart that goes into it.

[@Alphetawoofious]

Bonnie bowl was Monty's living sleep deprivation/torture chamber, it's really no wonder that this got wrecked and it most likely had so much less to do with replacing Bonnie more than it did forcing himself where he felt he couldn't ever fit

[@johnc._9822]

Everyone wants a gatekeeping, Gaslighting, Girlboss, but only few realse how terrible they are.

[@spiritofchaos58]

GOODNESS VANNY. Yeah, her takedown of Monty was pretty brutal, but the sheer cruelty she shows towards Roxy really shocked me. Laughing at her, accusing her of not caring about her family, calling her ugly, RUNNING HER OVER, and then saying she’s going to get replaced…wow. She did NOT need to do all that. I’d assumed that she’d go softer on Roxy, since I thought she only had anything against Monty, but I was very wrong. I wonder if this is what she considers ‘tough love’, or if she’s just being cruel. Goodness. Electrocuting her in the EYE seems extra mean. And goodness, poor Roxy! Her position seems perfectly designed to mess with her. The animatronic with the most insecurities forced into the most competitive role. None of the others are in a situation where they’re actively playing AGAINST the kids. Monty’s the closest, and he’s more of an obstacle than actual competition. The sort of position Roxy has is bound to get some aggressive players. It’s pretty tragic seeing how her need for perfection, grown from her own insecurities and fear of replacement, has spiraled into obsession and paranoia. She’s so defensive because she’s TERRIFIED, and it’s making her lash out and, ironically, making her situation worse. These bots need therapy so, so badly, and shocking them is the OPPOSITE OF THAT. Jeremy is amazingly bad at his job. It’s pretty interesting that Vanessa seems fully aware of how cruel he’s being and stands against it, but then proceeds to treat the animatronics just as badly. And these end notes never fail to break my heart. Forcing Chica to puke of food and clean it up, shocking Roxy for crying, DJ trying to defend Freddy…it’s all so inhumane and sad. On a lighter note…it’s pretty funny that Fazbear Entertainment just assumed that Monty would know how bowling works. Like, he was probably born a few days ago at that point, and they just assumed he’d have any idea where to start. Him THROWING THE BALL, then rushing onto the track to grab it is a pretty funny thought. This poor guy, he's doing his best. It’d be funnier if they didn’t proceed to apparently keep him up through the night trying to teach him. Given that he works in the raceway now, I’m guessing that failed. Maybe sometime during that night of ‘training’ (translation: torture) was when Monty destroyed Bonnie’s bowling alley? If so, that certainly adds another layer to the whole situation. This all just highlights how incompetent the company is and how, despite making AMAZINGLY intelligent AI, they seem to forget that their programs need time to LEARN.

[@cycloneabsol9405]

Roxy, see a therapist. (This goes for the rest of you too!)

[@sindraile5128]

Nice nod to the Roxanne Wolf from the source material. Poor Roxy. Also, Jeremy is a real tyrant, isnt he?

[@Thebluemamott]

DOWN WITH JERMY!

[@cycloneabsol9405]

I can't believe I'm siding with Vanessa on anything, but as she said, "Eat shit, Jerry."

[@Glitch_Shift]

Ty for making this series, it’s just so interesting and refreshing.

[@malinok4889]

Gotta say that Roxy's writing makes complete sense considering the situation that she and her family are in. I guess she'll have to... w o l f down some humble pie before the end of the story. sorry

[@cycloneabsol9405]

Hey, Kiwi, couple of non-spoilery questions for you. 1) How old is Gregory? Vanny called him a ten year old, but I don't trust her for shit when she's talking to the animatronics 2) Why 2082 instead of 2083? 1983 is like the one important FNAF year that isn't 1987.

[@kiwiqueen138]

1: Gregory is 10 years old. I let Vannie guess his age correctly just so I don’t confuse the audience by giving conflicting ages lol 2: I have the entire timeline written already, the only year that reflects something in canon is 2087. Everything before that, I put in specific spots for specific reasons & stuff, so the amount of years between incidents makes sense :)

[@cycloneabsol9405]

​@@kiwiqueen138 1. Fair enough. I just wanted to check 2. Alright, alright. (Oh, one more thing. Would you mind shouting out my lore document, either in the comments or in a post? I feel like more people would see it that way.)

[@kiwiqueen138]

Did that! Thanks for permission, it means a lot that people care enough about the Lore™ to keep track of it and stuff lol

[@cycloneabsol9405]

@@kiwiqueen138 Thanks so much!

[@heavenlyNoomba]

Every time i hear you're voice i want to watch steven universe further REWRITEN all over again

[@cloudyz..editz_]

this is gonna be so amazing,, I’m so excited !!!!! edit : it was so good ahhh :D !!

[@lexxblep-groundzero1369]

Vanessa is a really really scary woman she knows these animatronics she knows their personality is and she knows what makes them tick That's what's scary about her and what she's saying she's gotten to know these guys and it's clear she does care about them she does care about them she wants them she loves them I don't know why she's doing the thing she's doing but it's clear that she's not doing this for any real malicious deeds Also I love the way that you weaseld and Roxanne's true death in the actual game of security breach into here bumper cars repeatedly bashing into her and running her over it's so interesting And once again the symbolism that all these guys could be replaced at any point Roxanne's insecurity is caused by the fact that she could be replaced at any point without fail without hesitation it's horrifying

[@Alice_The_Person3707]

I’m getting really excited at the moment for episode 17 and I don’t know how much longer I can wait :))))))))))))

[@PeridotFacet-2F5LCut-XG]

I don't even care about FNAF I just clicked because I adore your Profile Picture

[@Thebluemamott]

Always manages to leave me on the edge of my seat

[@whisper_ishere518]

Hey, I only have one question, why exactly does Roxy's eye not work? Also completely unrelated to this chapter but are Moon's hands bleached as well? No real reason to ask that just kinda curious.

[@kiwiqueen138]

1: Her eye doesn’t work because she got shot in the face with a laser. That amount of light concentrated on her eyes started to melt some of the wires, causing her blindness from earlier. So now, even though Freddy’s eye is attached, it’s not really perfect because Gregory isn’t a technician and doesn’t know exactly how to do it right. So it’s an imperfect solution. :) 2: No, Moon’s hands aren’t bleached, even though Sun’s are. When Sun and Moon switch, the rubber that coats their hands retracts and flips over (similar to their clothing), so the visible surface of Moon’s hands wouldn’t also be damaged. :)

[@heavenlyNoomba]

What if like Bonnie and foxy was replaced by Monty and Roxy that would be some good lore ❤

[@kiwiqueen138]

Bonnie was replaced by Monty, but Roxy never replaced Foxy. Roxy is trans, so she changed her name from Foxy to Roxy :)

[@Whipspider]

Let's go!

[@cycloneabsol9405]

Hey, lore question (if this isn't too spoiler-y): Does Remnant exist in the rewrite?

[@kiwiqueen138]

Technically yeah, since this is still the same timeline as the original series. But remnant is not the reason that these animatronics are sentient. They weren’t built with remnant, there’s a different reason they’re alive. But Vanessa is aware of the concept of remnant.

[@cycloneabsol9405]

@@kiwiqueen138 Ok, ok...

[@Alice_The_Person3707]

Hey Kiwi? Can I call you Kiwi? Anyway, do you have any other socials that I can talk to you on?

[@Alice_The_Person3707]

Hey um, is it ok if I make a version of this that includes me?

[@kiwiqueen138]

What exactly do you mean by that?

[@Alice_The_Person3707]

@@kiwiqueen138 if I could create a script of a version of yours that has a version of me in this universe. Just to see what 2 people instead of just one would alter the story. I’m just asking so I could get your permission. I’ll ask again if your ok with me posting my version. I will credit you constantly. I’m sorry if your not comfortable with me remaking this :/ sorry, I feel like you’d be mad for me asking. If so, I’m sorry.

[@Alice_The_Person3707]

@@kiwiqueen138 let me explain it better lol. So can I make a version of the rewrite that introduces me as a character? I just wanted to see how things would change if Gregory had another person to do this stuff with him. Not just this episode, though. I’ll be introducing my character in the events of episode 2. Her name will be Melody and after finding out about the chips, she will try to get all the chips out because she knows the strengths that the other animatronics could bring to the table. I'll probably be writing it anyway, but just keeping it to myself. Sorry about how long this is lol. Also, is it ok if in my rewrite of your rewrite if I could copy down some of the lines word for word? Just because there are some things I don't really want to change or show how my character will react to the things that happened. So, is that ok? I also just wanted to say, in really excited for episode 17! Keep up the good work!

[@heavenlyNoomba]

Im telling you'll that dark screen means something KiwiQueen can you tell that it means something or not pls

[@johnicthecronic3197]

u gotta deviantart?

[@mjtubeme]

So wait? Why is Roxy a fox in this version?

[@kiwiqueen138]

Because there’s no reason for her to be a wolf. I made her a fox so that it stays consistent with the other games. If I were to make her wolf, that would imply the presence of an actual Foxy, which would just make the story even more complicated since we were already doing that character arc with Bonnie. I didn’t want to just copy-paste Bonnie’s entire arc, I wanted her to have her own original story. So instead, Roxy is just a trans fox :)

[@mjtubeme]

@kiwiqueen138 So...Foxy transitioned to Roxy?

[@kiwiqueen138]

Yup pretty much

[@mjtubeme]

@@kiwiqueen138 Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh