Overcoming the Betrayal of an Affair -- Rick & Tiffany Bulman

The Bulmans’ marriage almost shattered when Rick discovered his wife. Tiffany, was having an affair. The day after the revelation, Rick remembered a conversation from their premarital counseling where the minister said if adultery necessitates divorce, then God is not big enough to fix a broken relationship. So, Rick and Tiffany underwent counseling with Pure Desire Ministries for one year. In this interview, Rick and Tiffany will share how their marriage was restored and offer hope to other couples.
Get the Rick and Tiffany's book, Mended: bit.ly/3H8BSWp
For more resources on this topic: bit.ly/3wN7egR
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[@cheekiesap]

Listen to me, this video annoying me. Her cheating is not because he left gaps. He is not responsible for her cheating.

[@deejay7759]

Exactly! The wife should’ve been more mature and talk to her husband. She should’ve demanded counseling or she could’ve just left and divorced him if she was so unhappy. There is never an excuse for cheating. Never. She could’ve addressed their problems before turning to another man.

[@micaelagrant9240]

Takes two to destroy a marriage her sin is not justified but his unattentiveneness and not spiritually leading his home led to his wife falling away. Where was the jealousy over his wife and children there is absolutely no way my husband would have let some guy take my kids out for ice cream. He didn't care and she took advantage of that

[@hmmm2564]

​@@micaelagrant9240she is an adult , not a child

[@micaelagrant9240]

@@hmmm2564 no duh. He had no care for his wife or his kids I don't get what you're talking about

[@hmmm2564]

@@micaelagrant9240 lol hi cheater

[@MJ31579]

Any relationship leaves gaps. You shouldn't be looking to close those gaps with an affair. I'm sure the husband also does not have 100% of his needs met.n

[@oliverkloezoph69]

For real! Most cheaters aren't sorry, they're just sorry they got caught

[@summerjoy247]

She acknowledged that in the interview

[@johnsonjj117]

My gosh is this true. So often the betrayed partner is blamed for the “downfall” of the marriage when in all reality what you said is true. No person meets every one of your needs, especially the ones you refuse to talk to them about.

[@andrewwebster7185]

Props to both of them for their transparency This takes a lot of courage. Godspeed and a prosperous marriage to both of them

[@yeseniadiaz5146]

Not much credit given to the husband i think the brave one here is Him . being vunable and willing to share such a painful experience in his marriage over and over again. U can hear in his voice theres still that healing journey . that season of recovering . 3 years later for me and im still not okay . trusting Gods timing and moment of true healing . thank you for your humbleness . forgiveness and sharing your story over and over again 🥰

[@hapkwe1938]

I agree 💯

[@elizabeth1624]

I’m sorry but I totally disagree, the lady had even real tears and shame still and she is seen as the villain and she has been a victim too!

[@TheJoe111599]

@@elizabeth1624 I disagree, she let this happen and was willing to give it all up. She's not a victim.

[@britestart1]

I gave my sister a kidney when she was in trouble. Till this day I'm am so so so humble, been filthy rags, dust of the earth, and to have been giving the opportunity..... I received the bigger portion, the bigger blessing. So have you my friend, for you to be in that position to bestow forgiveness.....

[@Teal_Seal]

@@TheJoe111599You’re right, she did let it happen, but he did too. Another video on CBN channel characterizes his work as a mistress for many years. Look, it can be argued she’s more guilty. Ok. But neither is innocent.

[@keynat9755]

Very frustrating that she is the one who cheated and she is getting clout about being brave. The sense I get is that they set up a REASON for her to cheat instead of holding her accountable. They even said the other man was predatory. Too many excuses for the cheater and not enough encouragement for the Husband who endured all this betrayal

[@ssweat1963]

Right on!!! I find this is the case on MOST of the " inspirational" videos on marriage after infidelity.

[@Serve24]

Yes!! Couldn’t agree more!

[@TrueTrue882]

Going through this now.. Pray for me.. 😭

[@haydenhenry8671]

I pray in Jesus' name for strength for you, friend.

[@nathaliekovacs8140]

POOR GIRL felt like she NEEDED to cheat on her husband while he provided and worked so hard for his family. SMH!!! This woman is a joke

[@donnawilson18]

Wow. That's a very judgmental statement, but it doesn't surprise me coming from a female.

[@randomguy5704]

As a Christian, I would say it's okay for the church to help people who want to stay together, but they shouldn't guilt them into staying together. Cutting my unfaithful ex-fiance out of my life, I feel, was the best decision I possibly could have made. The triggers, flashbacks and mind movies were brutal and would have likely continued my entire life if I didn't go 100% no contact.

[@frankwhite1928]

My wife cheated and I was devastated to learn just how far this went. I wanted to send her packing, but when I walked out the door of the room into the hallway after learning this the Lord spoken to me as clearly as ever forgive her. I knew He was talking full forgiveness, restore the relationship. He didn't give up until I finally agreed, her life literally depended on it. What spoke volumes to me was His love and forgiveness towards her !!!

[@draminatagi]

How did u forgive her n how did u cope with the situations??

[@frankwhite1928]

@@draminatagi wasn't easy .. forgiving easy, forgetting impossible.. what helped but it took years was getting a tangible story. She was afraid to tell me things because she thought I would leave her. It becomes a torture chamber in your mind trying to do the math .. and it just don't add up. Finally I got the truth from what I learned watching KZbins. Confronted her with it and she had to admit to the real story. Such a relief to not to ruminating about it anymore. But then the reality that she had the power to stop it before it went to far and didn't is a real kick in the nuts. Still better to have the truth. We are still together 19 years later and doing well

[@johnsonjj117]

@@frankwhite1928That’s awesome man, I hope to be where you are one day. Mine had a 4 year long affair until I discovered it. I tried everything I could to save our marriage but she didn’t do anything. I recently found out she had started another affair with a different guy. She has agreed to counseling but isn’t sure she wants to stay married. The intrusive thoughts seek to utterly destroy you near constantly and I feel like an utterly unlovable and incapable man who couldn’t even keep my wife happy. Its rough

[@2derekjeter2]

Wow

[@pleadfive658]

Almost 2yrs in, I’m the betrayed. Never, ever, ever trust a friend. Remember this, be sure your sin will find you out!

[@zakiahart3919]

My grandma used to say you don't have any friends. Her friend did the same to her.

[@natashalucas5082]

Super heros don't always wear capes, the real ones wear Jesus 🔥♥️

[@user-mf4xc1dw5y]

Reminds me of Hosea. A picture of God’s unfathomable mercy.

[@jeupshaw]

She got caught. She might never have told him. She is evil.

[@rachelkessinger2295]

We are all evil sinners... No one person is better or worse than anyone else. Stop judging!

[@gregorypeck2763]

Not evil, a selfish sinner

[@tmom6830]

This is hard to hear . The husband should of been asked more questions. My husband had the affair and he isn’t remorseful and wants to have me just forget . It needs to be talked about how the other person heals through this process

[@jocelynlabayoga6076]

There will be no true healing for you even if you try to forget also no accountability for your husband so that means he has no plan to repent and stop the infidelity.

[@ssweat1963]

Im in my first 6 months after disclosure and thats what ive been saying!!! All talk about the recovery of the unfaithful...the betrayed sits there forever broken and compromised... and there is little to no talk about the healing of the betrayed.

[@Catherine4Yeshua]

I understand how you feel.

[@johnstanco6926]

If she was truly remorseful, why did she wait to get caught to admit to everything??

[@rachelkessinger2295]

If he isn't remorseful, that is grounds for divorce. I wish you the best moving on from that pain

[@SmoothiesnFacials]

Y'all really painted her out to be a victim. Calling the other man a predator 🤦🏿‍♀️ She made choices .

[@ginamcgrew9955]

I think it was made pretty clear that all persons in this situation were sinning in some way. Husband: left gaps, Wife: didn't reach out for help when she felt abandoned, Chad: insinuating himself into another man's family. But praise God for folks like this who are a living testimony of God's power. They are both very courageous to recount their crisis in the hopes that it will save other marriages! IMO that's what walking out your faith in Jesus really looks like.

[@ashoka4327]

A woman cannot love a man she does not respect. Tiffany had an affair for 3 years, plenty of time to stop loving her husband. The “predator” behaved like a man and Tiffany obliged his desires. Both sinned, but good grief Tiffany, you’re fortunate to have a man/husband forgive and accept you as an adulteress.

[@SmoothiesnFacials]

@@ginamcgrew9955 If it were the husband who had a 3 year long affair with a married woman almost destroying 2 households would there have been several questions about the wife's short comings ? No. She made a choice to lie and deceive her husband for 3 years and they focused on the husband "leaving" gaps . The only thing I will take from this is that God can redeem anything but I'm disappointed in several of the questions and statements by the hosts.

[@lindahayden6218]

Yes it is!

[@elizabeth1624]

@@ashoka4327 so sad you don’t get the blessing of these story .. may the Lord open your eyes ! 🙏

[@craigcunningham3705]

Thank-you Father for this dear couple and their children. I pray Your love, favour and blessings rest upon them always.

[@nnylasoR]

“You provide the heart - *I’ll* provide the miracle.” ✨✋😭🤚✨

[@GraceO655]

The affair lasted for 3 years…“We get it”? No we do not get it. That’s not ok…as soon as you say “I do” you’re agreeing to protect and uphold your marriage…even if your spouse is dropping the ball. I’m also confused as to how it took the other wife 3 years to notice her husband was having an affair? Idk there are so many questions

[@samanthaeliza]

This video is very disheartening. Yall blamed that man and allowed her to play victim. Sin has consequences. She made horrible choices and just wanted to make excuses for herself. She sounds just like someone in my family who recently cheated on her husband and doesn’t want to be held accountable..

[@bjemaja]

Someone said she acted like she wasn't accountable. Actually she did ask for forgiveness for her adultery. Listen to the whole broadcast.

[@peter2633]

She asked for forgiveness “after” she got caught.

[@cheekiesap]

Wha you mean she is so brave, what about the husband. Stupse.

[@nathaliekovacs8140]

This video truly angers me. Then saying she’s so brave for reliving this experience … what????? WHAT!????? Who is brave is the husband and I feel pity for him. He’s married to TRASH. I hope she reads the truth. She’s sick. She’s garbage. Sorry he had to suffer because of her

[@lilit384]

Be careful how you speak of this woman. She is still God’s creation. He who is without sin cast the first stone!

[@MikeSmith-kt5mj]

​@@lilit384The wife takes zero accountability and blames tge husband. What a POS she is. but most Christian wives are cheaters with zero accountability

[@danharms4237]

why does the cheating wife always get the acclaim, attention and praise????? She betrayed her husband and family and all this video does is make it the husband's fault. Entitled women think they can say "sorry" and all is forgiven. Every time this video plays you take another piece of of your family and husband. You are still betraying them. Shame on you.

[@peter2633]

Completely agree!

[@FamilyForumJapan]

Anytime there is secrecy and dishonesty in any area of marriage, that is a form of unfaithfulness, even if there is not actually an affair. And betrayal can take years to recover from, especially if a spouse is not repentant. Thank you for being vulnerable and willing to share your journey.

[@sueparker4391]

I think saying her husband left gaps is very me-centred . Better perhaps to have filled those gaps in loving her husband and children more. The real heroines are the women who stay faithful to their husbands

[@chrisr7597]

Yes. Never give an out for this sort of behavior.... victim blaming is vile.

[@cindyshapland5316]

Coming straight from someone without first-hand experience in these issues. 🙄

[@marcyantolik298]

Start listening min 16

[@hmmm2564]

​@@cindyshapland5316hi cheater

[@luislemuz6642]

She's the brave one ???? What in the world ? 😵‍💫

[@Bianca-Crystal]

I would reject this mother ,yakk

[@DogOneIsOpen]

4:54 This matches the pattern I’ve seen on a lot of these shows where they are “brave” enough to put a cheating wife on set. They let everyone know how much the man had done wrong. How many “gaps” he had left even though he was probably trying to sacrifice for his family, though perhaps not perfectly. Very little serious accountability for the wife. And these types of shows are often promoting cross-gender peer friendships where this sort of thing happens. The fruit of the softening of the Christian man is becoming far too apparent now. This guy here should have refused to allow the man over to begin with. And the wife would likely have acted like the victim and she was being controlled and the show hosts would likely have agreed with her. This is a reminder that cross-gender “friendships” in the church with alone time is a very bad idea. The church cranks out mild, polite, guys like this and they rarely get respect. She literally calls her affair partner a “gentleman” in this interview and gave him the pseudonym “Chad” in their book. You can’t make this stuff up!

[@tsholombele2970]

3 years is a choice.

[@jeremiahharris5002]

She talked about hurting her kids and herself but she didn’t once say how badly she hurt her husband!! Holy moley! Where has the empathy gone? My wife cheated on me in a long term affair and it took time for her to gain empathy but I never ever want to see that empathy disappear! If this woman had remorse and empathy she would always be present to step in front of her husband and carry the brunt of the hurt she has caused to her husband and never think twice about it.

[@limbl9392]

Rick i the brave one to keep on reliving this experience

[@Retrojoe87]

Wonder what the outcome/story was/is of the other couple.

[@chrisr7597]

Nor that Tiffany cares.

[@kimberlyclearwater6474]

They divorced and remarried.

[@ChrissieLatham-w2c]

@@kimberlyclearwater6474 how do you know?

[@anamariaespinoza6031]

Her level of accountability is sad. He was filling in the gaps?? That is not bravery.

[@Ljmaticz7]

Kind of funny how the ones who commit adultery are put on the pedestal...Like King David....And the victim is the one who bears the weight of forgiveness.........I still don't buy it....Love how they call her brave....Didn't bother her to have the affair.

[@danilaroche1156]

People err. Jesus redeems.

[@princepaakowtenteh9870]

Wait a minute, did I hear that she’s a senior pastor?😅

[@nathaliekovacs8140]

Poor guy. She’s not brave

[@whobeyou5342]

Very curious about the other couple's outcome. Wonderful that this couple is working on this (and writing a book with royalties coming in) - is the other couple just collateral damage ?

[@kimberlyclearwater6474]

Truly a tremendous testimony of the power of a Christ centred marriage! Our purpose in life always seems to be born out of our pain. What was the outcome for the other family involved?

[@rickbulman242]

Divorced and remarried

[@kimberlyclearwater6474]

Thanks for taking time to reply.

[@lilac5028]

@@rickbulman242 Thats just to bad that Tiffany destroyed the other couples marriage

[@adeleweeder9941]

​@@lilac5028 they still had a choice though and they chose to seperate

[@dr.r.clement8342]

Plz pray for me brother.I am in the same situation as yours only difference is,my partner is not willing to confess.

[@sparky4108]

I dont think they deserve to be back with the man that they did wrong and didnt care until they were caught

[@chrisr7597]

The level of Tiffany's accountability is almost nonexistent. That's gratitude for you. A husband doing what HE SHOULD. The children, her "female friend", anyone else in this self serving spirituality dark crime was an after thought.... UNTIL DISCOVERED. Good grief.

[@thelordstabernaclebaptistc4326]

I’m curious about what helped the husband let go of the emotional pain. How do you forgive your spouse for falling in love with someone else? And how do you trust that it’s over? I’ve ordered the book.

[@dcchavez97]

Google -Debbie Rose Affair -go through her blog. She committed adultery but it took her husband 12yrs (maybe 15yrs I forget) to look her in the eyes and say I forgive you. I believe her marriage has truly reconciled. Not sure about others.

[@Alexander44665]

I think the fact that they were in California and he knows that if he divorced her-despite her adultery-she would get the kids, house, half the savings, he would also have to pay child support and make alimony payments. As a pastor-depending on the Church-he could also be terminated from his role. He would then be without work on top of everything else. I think this 'helped" him to stay with his adulterous wife (I mean it helped him to "forgive" her lol).

[@peter2633]

The husband is not being honest about not having emotional pain. He will battle this his entire life.

[@johnsonjj117]

I have no clue how to ever trust again and no the emotional pain never goes away. It gets locked up for longer periods but always claws its way out. I will still randomly look at my wife and pictures of her with other men flash in front of me

[@lizzyhearts4894]

I agree with most of the comments. She is the evil one. She is NOT brave to speak about this betrayal they're doing it to sell a book otherwise they would not be in a podcast to publicly speak about this.

[@chicajimenez6187]

I want to know what happen to the other couple?

[@carnivoreRon]

Again, Communication. Communication. Communication. Did she set him down and tell him about the growing divide? She just let it happen, then the 3 year affair. She loved her affair partner. She would still be in the affair if they hadn't been caught.

[@kimstoliker2111]

The scary thing was the preacher never questioned about this other man being so involved in their lives even though he lived two hours away. Doug Stoliker.

[@darrenhardy-hawken2214]

Yeah I thought that... how many things did this guy do around the house and he never thought... get out thats my job or I know im busy but this is my house and put some effort into what is typically the man's role

[@deejay7759]

He was her BEST FRIENDS husband. He trusted him.

[@jeffangelo5447]

Please take a moment and pray for Jeff and Shay to be reconciled in marriage. Thank you.

[@李树-d6i]

🙏🙏🙏

[@Disappointment12907]

Once again, a woman cheats and the fault lies with the needs the husband didn't meet and the "predatory" boyfriend she was having relations with. I have yet to see a christian source address this situation in a fair or balanced way that holds women accountable for their adultery.

[@peter2633]

Completely agree! The modern day church has become feminized as well.

[@butchgallagher8049]

I completely agree as well

[@joseyndaba5076]

Enlightening testimony…The shame and pain is still visible on the wife’s face and demeanour though 🙏🏾

[@Alexander44665]

Accountability is to women what a crucifix is to a vampire.

[@RogelioGomez-rz3kh]

Please pray for My marriage 🙏

[@manuelvalencia1543]

Let’s see. She cheated, but it was not really her fault. Husband is suffering. She makes me sick. I would be out of this marriage.

[@marcyantolik298]

Start listening min 16

[@bjemaja]

Listen to the whole broadcast people before you judge the beginning part of the story.

[@yeseniadiaz5146]

Is there some where wecan hear the whole thing or was it this. ?

[@bjemaja]

@@yeseniadiaz5146 This is the whole broadcast as far as I know. I was reading the other comments. Someone else said that she wasn't accountable for her actions. It sounded like they didn't listen to the whole broadcast.

[@focusonthefamily]

Hi, Yesenia. This was a one-day broadcast. We do have a resource list that you might find helpful: bit.ly/3DRgZy7 Blessings to you!

[@marcyantolik298]

Start listening min 16

[@butchgallagher8049]

You're not getting the fact that you can't take responsibility for something if the whole time you're saying it was because of this. And it was because of that and blaming your husband for what you did. The fact that she even brings that up shows no accountability.

[@mq3177]

The husband needs to get all those kids DNA tested.

[@lindsayowens4962]

God can work out all kinds of situations. Please pray He would work out a few of mine

[@VanessaSimon26]

I need a miracle in my marriage. Lord have mercy on me. Please lord give us grace. Heal us both of our childhood traumas. Restore our love with my husband. PLEASE give us supernatural love in our marriage. If it is your will. Lord you are THE miracle worker.

[@lordallan637]

3 years????

[@zakiahart3919]

The devil is very clever . 3 year affair man... husband is very forgiving most relationships wouldn't survive this. Obviously, there were bigger issues here in her life prior to the marriage.

[@lindahayden6218]

Both of them needed forgiveness. Blaming should never be considered. Both made choices. Praise God for his amazing Mercy and Grace! As Believers we should recognize such impossible & Supernatural forgiveness of this husband.

[@peter2633]

Her choice had significantly more consequences.

[@angloaust1575]

Better to settle it privately as mature adults Without involving others!

[@dbsrsb23]

You experienced all the pan, her regret is minimal and superficial, she is just sorry she got caught. For sake of yourself and children divorce her and cut out of your life.

[@farmgirls425]

When there are kids you can never just " cut them out of your life"! There is so much to consider either way, unless you have lived this keep your comments to yourself please!

[@dbsrsb23]

@@farmgirls425 unless I am a cheating lying woman I can’t comment?

[@Iveraghboy]

I would have dumped her, not worthy of my love anyway you see it.

[@sweetocheetoh1062]

I can relate him my husband cheated on me but i never thought of betrayel too.

[@miguelalejandro6813]

Im still struggling to have a willing heart. I want to do things God's way, but i am still hurt and angry after several months. 😔

[@dbsrsb23]

I am sorry, but she is making you a fool. She will cheat on you again. You cheating wife expects a free past, without consequences.

[@stevebeasley5181]

Why do people have to comment on this

[@TheJoe111599]

Why not?

[@ChrissieLatham-w2c]

Does anyone know if they are still together?

[@lipstick3688]

Should I tell my 13 year old daughter that wife left for another man or do I just don't say anything

[@SueAnderson-d3s]

It is not fun when your husband cheats and you have to go to church were leaders support the adulterers rather than you.

[@missmlb3842]

This is beautiful!!

[@peter2633]

This is awful! The husband will forever be plagued by her infidelity.

[@missbobbie671]

thank you Jesus for healing, thank you both for sharing your most painful time with us allowing others to see there is hope in trusting our Lord with ALL things!!! He is faithful even when we are not.

[@novlettemillerdilworth483]

YAHWEH is GREAT and His Grace is greater than all our sins. Love is crucial to and for a messed up person.

[@peter2633]

She’s still a terrible wife.

[@Kylietherianann]

Thank you for this ❤❤❤

[@kb8866]

The husband is an elite hero. Christ like. Wife made a wise decision to repent after all...Church like. Yall are blessed Lampposts shining the LIGHT. The devil put to shame. All praise to Jesus our God and Savior!!!

[@peter2633]

The husband has been left to play the role of a simp.

[@ChrissieLatham-w2c]

Cheating on your husband or wife is about as low as you can go.

[@MarieFrancoiseAMevs]

Stop judging remember the bible

[@RogelioGomez-rz3kh]

Aleluya 🙏

[@sandiemadezz]

She is brave because it takes courage to talk about a shameful experience in public. People prefer to wear masks and play happy families in public than expose their shame or pain.

[@peter2633]

She feels shame because she got caught, plain and simple! She should have felt shame while she was lying with this stranger playing the harlot.

[@nunyabb]

23:45 WOWWWW HE WOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING BECAUSE OF WHERE THEY ARE RIGHT NOW

[@dariderfan]

At no time does Rick take ownership for his behaviour. He needs to own his actions....or lack thereof!

[@butchgallagher8049]

What did he do ? Stayed too faithful..... Honored his vows. There is never, ever a reason to blame somebody else for your own behavior.

[@micaelagrant9240]

​@butchgallagher8049 the dude let some other man fix stuff up in his house and spend alone time with his wife as he did his own thing. No way in heck would my husband allow some guy to come and fix my lights or take my kids out for ice cream a recipe for disaster

[@cristinavetsch3468]

Everyone: be nice. We are not here to judge. Let the one that is sinless cast the first stone.. John 8

[@melissaleander9632]

@focusonthefamily im in South Africa. How does one go.about donating? Would love a copy of that book😢

[@annettejohnston1514]

At least she got the guts to admit what she had done

[@loisekabui739]

The husband has a Godly spirit ❤

[@peter2633]

No, he’s now a simp. Him staying with this harlot has taken away his manhood.

[@jenplumb1349]

The little foxes is what spoils the vine

[@kimivy779]

The difference in the woman at the well and this pastor’s wife is that one didn’t know Jesus in her sin, but one supposedly did. This stuff is garbage. As a Christian , we are to “go and Sin no more “

[@arianneherglotz5704]

It would be nice to hear the guest speak, feels like constant interruption 😀👍🏻

[@Disappointment12907]

A lot of it is steering the conversation and putting words in the guests mouth to fit a narrative that FoTF sells. "Just forgive, man up!" 🙄

[@Madeforcombat]

MOB

[@trina2449]

😭

[@davidsmnje]

A 3 year affair🤦‍♂️ thats not a mistake, thats not the "enemy" thats a choice to be an awful human being! Maybe Rick is into the cuckold fantasy😂 Also her friends husband! Trashhhh!