Understanding How Your Husband Thinks and Acts - Dr. Mike Bechtle

[@Ann.CreatedToCreate]

Asking “What do you think about that?” Instead of “How do you feel?” ... most likely he’ll inadvertently share his feelings... amazing... thank YOU!

[@shamgod3003]

One of the best statements I have heard in YEARS!!! It is so accurate

[@kimichan5]

20:40 I like how he told his wife the response he wanted from her in advance. It’s both sweet and very useful! It’s functional. That way if she’s in a bad mood she can take a beat and enter the room with the headspace she needs to be in to give him the response he needed. Perfect

[@autumnleaves9680]

Cherish your husband ! your men ! Mine died three months ago from cancer and even tho we had our bad times I miss him terribly ! Love with all your ♥

[@christinajendro2858]

I know my husband is “the man” for me because I’ve never been “that girl” until I found him! I love that I get to be a woman with my husband. It is funny that most couples have the same problems. Almost strangely comforting.

[@Eyesofmars2040]

When my husband fixes stuff, hangs Christmas lights, cleans the car, goes to work everyday I look at him like my hero.

[@stickerlady1774]

Laura Martian yes, why wouldn’t you

[@garrimic3]

Feelings have taken over humanity instead of truly being satisfied as scripture says to be. The heart is most deceptive thing we have and who can truly trust it? Feelings are not necessarily a bad thing, but if we don’t keep it in check our lives can spiral down into a pit of misery and despair.

[@CamperEra]

♥️

[@tammiguzman8317]

They are heroes the day he decides to step up and take care of his family and all their needs 1st over his own. In return his family will cherish him, respect him and take care of him in return. And want to even.

[@graceburks9406]

Well when we said those wedding vows that is some words that sound familiar.

[@cherietillapaughhott1012]

My husband did that rose-on-the-escalator move once. It was about a month or so before we got married, and we were at the mall looking at wedding rings, etc. I don’t remember what the argument was, but I do remember being angry that he walked away from me...until I looked up and saw him coming down the escalator, holding a beautiful hand made glass rose. 🌹

[@pamgessler5923]

Some of these "male" aspects may not really be male, but just personality types. My husband was VERY willing to borrow something and accept help; and to GIVE help. He was very empathetic, compassionate and kind. He cried at sad movies and loved to watch love stories (not the cheesy chick flicks, but genuine love stories).

[@stickerlady1774]

He sounds awesome. My husband is INFP.

[@somethinggood9267]

I hear you!!

[@heatherjordan3539]

My husband likes the cheesy chick flicks 😆 Seriously though, the typical data on marriage/men just don't apply to us. Most of what we hear is just opposite of our relationship, and isn't true for us.. I don't know how to make our marriage better, and we're struggling.

[@focusonthefamily]

Thanks for sharing, Heather. We're very sorry to hear about your marriage. If you ever want to discuss these things in more detail with one of our counselors (at no cost to you), we invite you to call us anytime at 800-232-6459. May God continue to guide you in the days to come, friend.

[@kimichan5]

@@heatherjordan3539same here. It’s hard because I’m the more masculine one sometimes and than he is and we struggle.

[@storkdoctor11]

“Be a big boy ... don’t cry “ while standing over your mom’s grave as a young son is absolutely horrifying . That’s a tremendous wound to carry.

[@myfriendscallmedani]

Agree!

[@GoldenPalm24]

That made me cry. Like, you don’t say that to anybody! My heart broke

[@olgaharrell3176]

I teard up at that. 😪

[@jjjackson5183]

💔

[@Deba7777]

Wish I understood this info decades ago when I was married! Thank you for this!

[@romanapintek3596]

Thank you so much focus on the family, you are such blessing and give hope to many families and individuals. 🙏🏻🌿

[@bmoy3516]

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[@kellyanne7225]

Toxic masculinity? No. Masculinity is Godly and I'm so thankful for it!

[@amandabarrett2472]

Then they wouldn't be the toxic masculinity traits...anything Godly can be perverted.

[@Justsaying470]

I don't like the guessing games. I'm different I guess. I rather be direct and be direct with me. Otherwise it's just frustrating.

[@danfalke8883]

Thanks!

[@focusonthefamily]

Many thanks Dan!

[@lizzyg1758]

I was literally turning the volume up when he said “ women are turning the volume up”

[@TheAshley9697]

🤣🤣🤣

[@christinajendro2858]

Me too girl!

[@jenniferboyd2200]

Listening and learning

[@sarahko2014]

Thank you, Focus on the Family~ what a good broadcast👍

[@jefffung1791]

My husband did that rose-on-the-escalator move once. It was about a month or so before we got married, and we were at the mall looking at wedding rings, etc. I don’t remember what the argument was, but I do remember being angry that he walked away from me...until I looked up and saw him coming down the escalator, holding a beautiful hand made glass rose. 🌹

[@JM-rf4be]

Amazing

[@stepone6159]

@Judy Jones. His book is outstanding. I chose to read it so that I can better understand my adult son and why we get into so much conflict. He goes into significant detail about how men think, "feel", and process and how women think, feel, and process. I am finding it very helpful. Perhaps you would too.

[@sofiaedwards]

I can use this advice tonight. I will try to make my husband a Hero from now on :D. Thank you

[@RestoreLife100]

Dr B, do you have a book or published material for men on “Understanding How Your Wife Thinks And Acts?

[@chelletoste488]

So enlightening and helpful! Thank you!

[@joycewright5386]

Why do men know how to be romantic when they are dating but after the wedding day they forget everything?

[@lmt6672]

When they are dating they are doing everything they can to "get" you to "win" you once you are married they move into what i call "provider mode" they want to do what they can to provide to make sure you have what you need money for food groceries clothes whatever... i started doing the romantic gestures and it took some time but now he does them back and will plan dates.. let him know you need him to be more romantic and what you actually want!

[@joo.3184]

​@lmt6672 great points. Never thought about it like that. Hope yall are still going strong.

[@judyjones9706]

Wow hit the nail on the head here! I need a book does it come in CD

[@focusonthefamily]

Judy, if you'd like the book, I Wish He Had Come With Instructions, by Mike Bechtle is available here: bit.ly/2ZQyvyZ. The book is not available on CD, but the audio broadcast is. You can find it here: bit.ly/2Cso77X. God bless you!

[@mona..6154]

Really enjoyed the session

[@CamperEra]

Pink and Blue Not wrong, just different

[@missl2742]

Great insight. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

[@motorctygrl]

Us women, think to creatively perhaps when we try to figure out men's thoughts. Women are used to difficult issues? Men are simple. Thank God for them! :-)

[@cltell2548]

I love to listen and learn more , we strugglen

[@veronicafruitfulltv5641]

Brilliant. Enjoyed this 😍

[@Lakeslover1]

Enjoyed it very much😀🌟

[@kimmya2593]

How do you deal with a man who never talks about issues? How do you deal with a husband that always tells his mom all the issues in our marriage instead of talking to me?

[@kellyanne7225]

Yikes! That is so frustrating. Are there any studies that you could do though church? Online? Marriage Conferences? This issue is addressed quite often within these resources. 15 years ago, I actually called FOTF because my marriage was in such turmoil and I just needed one of their counselors to talk to. They were beyond kind! I knew they were praying for me, even months after I hung up with them! I would see what they have to say. I know you will feel surrounded in prayer at the very least!

[@jessicam5648]

I’m in same boat except he talks to his female cousin not his mom. But he Is so disrespectful to me. In the beginning he was a sweetheart but now after 8 yrs he mistreats me. I don’t see a hero in him. Very abusive I cry everyday. So heartbreaking n frustrating. He says he loves me but treats me so bad he never is sorry anymore and tells me get over it. He changed so much.

[@rhondahastings421]

@@jessicam5648 I wanted to reach out to you and say I have read your post. I too, have also felt the one I married is not my Hero.

[@emd5095]

My Son tells me everything, he's engaged. & In my opinion (& she is awesome) it's from our life long bond & from him confiding in me for years before he met her. It's not that he doesn't love her or confide in her it's just the relationship, & with me he can vent & move on. I'm won't become a sore spot in his relationship. Hopefully that helps. I just listen, sometimes guide. I think it probably helps his relationship. Idk how she feels about it. I hope ok. Bc I love her

[@kimmya2593]

@@emd5095 Thanks! I love my mother in law and she loves me and that's the issue I've had with her knowing every issue. I think it's ok for him to confide in her SOMETIMES but tell both sides. My husband makes it one sided never telling what he's done to create an issue which has created some awkwardness in my relationship with my mother in law at times. As for you using Godly wisdom to guide your son is great and I'm sure your soon to be daughter in law will appreciate that as long as you're willing to hear both sides. My issue is that my mother in law feels her son never makes a mistake🥴 It stems from her being proud of him being saved because looking back she didn't see the light when it came to her boys but he made a choice when the other didn't and it was too late for them.

[@margaritaruthsevilla5969]

HALLELUJAH 💞

[@daniellepearls6714]

Every mans differant. Cannot sum up men from one mans opinion of men.

[@cyrilsimon9949]

Read also the book " Men are from mars and women from venus " by John Gray.

[@donnamealor1155]

Mine wants me to know every time he gets hurt and then when I try to act like I care oh I'm fine it ain't no but g deal

[@hedgemist691]

A lot of generalizations and stereotypes as usual. In fact, not being American I really can't relate to this at all. It's very culturally influenced and just not for me. My husband is the one who sheds a tear during a sad film. Me, I'm sitting next to him on the couch dry eyed.

[@chrisdebrasensenig7036]

Same. My husband is more nurturing and emotional than I.

[@politereminder6284]

I need to stop hate-watching this channel 🤦

[@kimichan5]

I have a question. What advice can you give about a wife who doesn’t respect her husband? Not because she’s a horrible person or him but because he maybe isn’t as smart as her or doesn’t take care of things in the a timely manner. He’s not her hero and she doesn’t know how to respect him. Help!

[@RestoreLife100]

Why is most of the emphasis on the woman to help the man?

[@jasonburns4071]

That was my thought as well...it's like I went back to the 50s!

[@gayled3059]

It was simply to help women understand how to communicate with their man. It was actually helping HER in the relationship.

[@gayled3059]

@@jasonburns4071 Do you think we're in a better place now, relationally? I don't.

[@belleo5561]

Exactly

[@donnamealor1155]

Restaurants that's the one thing we dont from ght over

[@rochellecaffee1417]

There has been entirely too much emphasis on what WOMEN need. It has been so lopsided, for so long, and it has not been helpful for the single moms to be raising boys to be MEN. Boys need MEN to teach and train them , not mothers who have trouble letting their boys grow up, and be responsible and confident MEN. MEN KNOW WHAT MEN NEED, and even the relationships with daughters would improve. But i am more focused on what we Christians need to do to help restore the reputation and appreciation of who men are and how they view life, AND their needed leadership in life, as fathers and husbands.

[@entropicmomathome]

What is a better way for a woman to tell her husband what she wants? How about …. Say it? I think as wives we make so many inferences, I’m do guilty of that, but men are pretty simple, just say what you want, say what you think, stop the guessing games.

[@ORSkie]

20:09 there would be nothing that would turn me off quicker than a husband who preened over something he had done and was begging for my approval... Ick. I love it when mine does something for me (and will volunteer a thank you) but being braggadocious or begging me for praise for it? NOPE.

[@cathypap6483]

Thank you 🙏

[@rochellecaffee1417]

Stop putting men DOWN for who they are. You all are starting at a point that is not the BEGINNING of a marital relationship. The beginning is when the 2 come together to create the “oneness”at the honeymoon right after the nuptials. This can set the relationship to it’s correct beginning.

[@jillphillips7742]

the husbands secrets is what killed my marriage after 33 years.

[@jefftube58]

Countless wives spend their entire marriages trying to turn their husbands into women.

[@ingridfrangos2246]

Stop with your little boy , come on, grown men.

[@donnamealor1155]

Solve an issue nope he won't even talk about it

[@kafwanakyembe9885]

Understanding how your husband thinks what about how the wife think. Although I appreciate what focus on the family does I just feel most these talks by focus on the family are sometimes sexiest.

[@oceanblu85]

I cannot speak for all, but I think it’s because we are so complex that even if they did have a great speaker representing women to teach men it wouldn’t apply to every woman. However men are “fixers” and want to go only by what that speaker would teach and will, in frustration, wonder why it doesn’t work. I do agree that there are some principles they can teach men to at least begin to understand their wives but men are less inclined to want to tune in to these kinds of programs or buy books for the sake of learning (again I don’t speak for all). Women by nature however are always looking for wisdom hence why Eve was tempted with gaining knowledge in the first place. That is why these programs are geared toward women because women are the ones seeking knowledge and wisdom to better themselves, relationships, finances etc.

[@RestoreLife100]

Agreed! And the author is a man.

[@gayled3059]

Of course they are! Men and women ARE the sexes. We need to understand that there are differences, and not 'weaknesses'.

[@indyj16]

They make great programs for both the husband and the wife. How are you doing? Is there a need in your life that you don’t feel is being met right now?

[@btbingo]

Only a foolish males explains husbands to wives

[@Soil_TheCaterpillar]

Matthew 5:22, Proverbs 18:2 🌱

[@btbingo]

@@Soil_TheCaterpillar I have never wasted a single minute perusing the NT. Lots of drivel and tripe signifying nothing of value